Finding Clarity in Your Work, Relationships, and Life with Marc Lesser

0:01Boom! Shake the room, Fire Nation. JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire. are brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals with great shows like Finding Founders. Today, we'll be breaking down how to find clarity in your work, relationship, and life. To drop these value bombs, I have brought Mark Lesser into EO Fire Studios. Mark is a CEO, executive coach, and Zen teacher. He founded and was CEO of three companies, helped develop a mindfulness program inside of Google's headquarters, and is the author of Finding Clarity. And today, Fire Nation, we were talking about being curious, not furious.

0:39We'll have some great advice regarding conflict, stories about limiting ourselves and what advice Mark has for us that really keep this deep inside us and the most four important words in the world and so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Mark and our sponsors. The Product Boss, hosted by Jacqueline and Mina, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. The Product Boss helps you take your physical product sales and strategy to the next level to create your dream life with episodes like, Can I Have a Successful Product Business as a Side Hustle?

1:13Listen to The Product Boss wherever you get your podcasts. Many EO Fire listeners have launched franchises in a variety of industries outside of food, and Fran Bridge Consulting has guided them to these premier opportunities. The founder, John Ostenson, has done more placements than any other in the country. Sign up for a free consultation with John or get a free copy of his book, non-food franchising at franbridgeconsulting.com. Mark, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. I'm not sure that people would disagree exactly, but maybe wouldn't be on their radar, which is, I think one of the keys to success is to be really good at doing nothing, to be able to stop, to really stop, to let go of all expectations.

2:09So I think letting go of expectations may be one of the most important things in being able to actually step into and embody a successful vision. Fire Nation, speaking of vision, we're talking about finding clarity in your work, in your relationships, and in your life. And you have a saying, Mark, be curious, not furious. What do you mean by this? I think everyone should have that sewn in to their clothing that, you know, it's so easy. You know, we humans, I think, are very tender, tenderhearted creatures, actually, underneath often that crusty exterior that people often put forward. But I think our tenderness, I think, leads us to very easily blame or defend.

3:02And I think the key to not blaming or defending is to be curious. The practice of curiosity sounds easy, but actually takes some ongoing self-awareness and work, this practice of being curious, not furious. I mean, Fire Nation, you have the choice of the two. And why would you ever choose to be furious when you could be curious? You know, I just love looking at the young children these days, just walking around. They're just curious about everything. They're curious about light, about dark. They're curious about sun. They're curious about the moon. I mean, they're just curious. And a lot of happiness comes from that.

3:43Now, I want to talk about facing conflict. Because no matter what world we live in, even the oasis of Puerto Rico down here, we still have to face conflict. And unfortunately, we have to face conflict fairly often. What advice do you have for us about facing conflict? Train yourself to become both more aware of conflict and to skillfully be able to navigate it and work with it. And I'd say the only times I've ever really gotten myself in trouble as a leader in business has been by avoiding conflict. And then wonky things can happen when you don't have the important conversations with people, when you're not aligned with the people that you're working with.

4:30And yeah, I think it's maybe another along with be curious, not furious should be avoiding conflict is trouble. And, you know, in my my second company that I that I started, it was actually kind of a vow that I made to to bring awareness to the heat and difficulty of conflict, to notice the discomfort and to be much more aware and skillful of deciding when and how to work with the discomfort of conflict instead of avoiding it. Fire Nation, some wise words here, some great advice. And the reality is, Mark, no matter how much we want to avoid it, we still have stories subconsciously, consciously that limits ourselves.

5:23Talk about your best advice here for us that have these type of stories that are currently limiting ourselves and what we can do about it. I think it's, again, good to recognize that I think we humans almost always have these stories. And I think these stories, this inner judge, this inner critic, really is a way of keeping us safe and trying to take care of us. However, underneath that, that habit, as you were just saying, you know, can become, it can become really, really limiting. The stories of, you know, however we're defining ourselves, whether we're defining ourselves, you know, as a success or as a failure or as an introvert or as an extrovert or am I a writer?

6:08You know, all those things. It's interesting to recognize the power of the stories and the emotions that come in with the stories. And I think as a core practice for business success is not getting so caught by those stories, creating a little bit of space, a little bit of space. You know, stories are powerful and we need, you know, we're our, we are storytellers, but there's a kind of freedom and flexibility that comes from a little bit of space and making choices about which stories we want to get behind and which we might want to actually let go of. Can you give a real world example? This can be of maybe yourself, one of your clients, customers, like somebody who you've worked with in the past.

6:58Give us an example of a story that was limiting and then once released, you know, was able to really open up a whole new world. Yeah, I think one of the stories, it's a very common story for executives that I work with, has to do with the story we tell about our own power and our own influence. Right. It's easy. It's easy. Even even as a CEO, you know, we are often reporting to boards, reporting to investors, and it's easy to fall prey to losing a sense of just how much influence we have. So I think that that story, that story of recognizing that as a leader and actually almost no matter what role we're in, we humans, our ability to feel confident and inspired is actually contagious.

8:02but so is our feeling of powerlessness is also contagious. So that's an example, I think, of the power of not getting too caught by the mistaken beliefs and stories. Fire Nation, we're going to talk about the four most important words, the Simpsons, and how to cultivate a clear vision to succeed. when we get back from thanking our sponsors. We all want the same things for our business. More leads, faster sales, and better insights so we can serve our customers at the highest level. One thing we all don't want, to waste time and money trying to figure these things out. So what's the solution? A CRM that's easy to set up and customize sounds too good to be true, right?

8:50But this CRM exists and it's called HubSpot. What sets HubSpot apart is that it's easy to use and integrate instead of wasting days or even months trying to figure everything out, HubSpot gives you tools like their AI content assistance, which helps you save time on tedious manual tasks right away. Looking to step up your game with email broadcasts and landing pages? HubSpot's drag and drop builder makes it easy to create attention grabbing emails and pages in minutes. And that's only the beginning. HubSpot has 1300 plus integrations that you can add for customization like you've never seen before.

9:21HubSpot's CRM powerful tools will help marketers wow prospects, sales teams lock in deals, and service teams improve response times and overall service. Get started for free at HubSpot.com. That's HubSpot.com. More and more entrepreneurs and investors are discovering the awesome franchise opportunities that exist outside of food. Franchising can simply be the better path. An interest in franchising is at an all-time high. Lucky for you, John Ostinson, founder of Fran Bridge Consulting and a frequent EO Fire guest, is here to help you explore the premier franchise opportunities today. John and his Frambridge consulting team are part of the largest brokerage in the U.S.

9:58and have vetted the market thoroughly. Frambridge is hands down the premier source for the best opportunities in the non-food franchise world. They represent every type of non-food franchise, from healthcare to dumpsters, youth soccer to oil changes, specialized senior care to dog training, to insulation and floor coatings. John has served as an Inc. 500 franchisor and a multi-brand franchisee, and he does more placements than any other in the country. Sign up for a free consultation call with John today or get a free copy of his book, Non-Food Franchising, at FranBridgeConsulting.com. That's FranBridgeConsulting.com.

10:35Mark, we're back and you believe the four most important words are, how are we doing? Tell us more. You know, a lot of what I'm writing about in Finding Clarity is accountability. And people don't like that word brings up all kinds of harsh visions. But really, I think accountability is primarily around alignment, right? Aligning with our own deepest values and motivations and intentions. But so much of the workplace is aligning with others. And I call how are we doing the foremost important words because they're just like a very direct, powerful way of remembering to check in with other people.

11:25and you know it may sound easy but it's interesting if especially going back to what we were just talking about anytime there is conflict or even any kind of misalignment it can feel very vulnerable and dangerous uh to ask that question again because whether you know especially where there's power differentials right so to um you know to ask your boss how are we doing uh you you might You might not get the answers that you want. Or if you're a boss and you ask people on your team, how are we doing? Again, you have to be prepared for reality. I think it's a really great temperature check and often a gut check to be able to ask this in a real way and to be able to – and partly sometimes it means not accepting, you know, fine.

12:23How are we doing? Fine. That to me is a red flag that we're not, maybe everything isn't so fine. Tell me something, tell me something that I could do better. I really want to know, what could I do that so that we could work together more effectively? So important, I think, this alignment in the work world. So I teased this before the break, but The Simpsons is one of my childhood's must-see shows. I mean, when I was growing up, This was a show I would just not miss. I loved it. And I know as a kid, a lot of the stuff went over my head, but it was really such a revolutionary show. So I want to hear from you specifically what Homer Simpson can teach us about being a better leader.

13:08I name Homer Simpson in my book as an accountability expert, because in some way, everything he has to do around accountability, you generally want to do the opposite. But, you know, the way he showed up first for me was what I think of as one of his famous exclamations, which is, why does everything have to be so hard? Right. And and I notice, you know, I would I sometimes started calling it my inner Homer Simpson when when that feeling of that sense, that sense of frustration or powerlessness or because, you know, it's it's hard. You know, running businesses, running families, living in this world.

13:53And I think it's a kind of a natural feeling, that inner Homer. And I've actually become a student of Homerisms. And one of my favorites is, it's easy to appear wise. Just think of something stupid to say and don't say it. Again, great advice from Homerisms. I love that. Now, we've all heard that we need a clear vision to succeed, but few of us know what that looks like. None of us, or I should say few of us, know how to cultivate a clear vision. What's your recommendation? How can we cultivate a clear vision so that we can succeed in our endeavors? Yeah, again, I think it's one of those throwaway statements.

14:41I think everyone would say, oh, yeah, clear vision. But it takes ongoing, I think, practice, vulnerability, confidence, creativity, too, because that vision of what we want to accomplish is so, so vital. And even in our core personal relationships, our families, I recommend having a family vision statement or relationship vision statement, but especially in our organizations where we are working together toward achieving clear and hopefully profound and important goals. But also, for me, the vision is not only the what, maybe the what and the why, but also the how. What is our vision for our culture?

15:35What is the vision for how we're working together? And I think this is, you know, journal writing and regular journal writing can be really, really helpful in honing and clarifying that vision and knowing that it's going to change. You know, it might be really clear this week, but things change with the people that we're working with, our customers, the environment. But so vital, I think, this coming back again and again to developing a clear vision. So we talked about being curious, not furious, what to do when we face conflicts. We've also talked about the Simpsons, the four most important words, cultivating a clear vision.

16:17What is the final thought that you want to leave Fire Nation with today? Cultivate your confidence and your humility. Confidence and humility. And they look as though they are opposed, but actually they work together really, really well. The more confident we are in ourselves allows us to actually listen more, to be curious, to be vulnerable. And the more vulnerable that we are, we can test out that people will, if we're really vulnerable, people will support us. We will let people support you, ask people to support you. This is a kind of vulnerability. And I think there's a beautiful and important sweet spot there of confidence and vulnerability.

17:14You know, it's like if you're, again, I'm a big sports fan and I love watching, you know, the kind of confidence in seeing Steph Curry shoot those three-point shots. And behind that is a tremendous, tremendous, I think, vulnerability and the hard work, the hard work that goes into building that kind of confidence. So Mark, we had a great conversation today. If Fire Nation wanted to connect with you, find out more about what you have going on, what's your call to action for our listeners today? Yeah, well, my new book that's just out is called Finding Clarity. It's about compassionate accountability.

17:58And people can find me at marklesser.net, M-A-R-C-L-E-S-S-E-R.net. But I think my call to action is keep practicing with confidence and humility. Fire Nation, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You've been hanging out with ML and JLD today. So keep up the heat. And for links to everything we talked about, visit eofire.com. Type Mark, M-A-R-C in the search bar. The show notes page will pop right up. And one more time, Fire Nation, Mark's book, Finding Clarity, is a book that if you resonated with the content today, you'll resonate with for sure. So Mark, thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation.

18:42For that, we salute you and we'll catch you on the flip side. Thank you, John. Hey, Fire Nation, a huge thank you to our sponsors and Mark for sponsoring today's episode. And Fire Nation, what can 3 ,000 of the world's most successful entrepreneurs teach you? How about how to achieve financial freedom and fulfillment. My first traditionally published book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success, is a revolutionary 17-step roadmap that will lead you to the lifestyle that you've been dreaming about. This book took me 10 years of accumulating the genius of the world's top entrepreneurs, and you can get it all in one place when you visit UncommonSuccessBook.com.

19:21I'll catch you there or on the flip side. The Product Boss, hosted by Jacqueline and Mina, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. The Product Boss helps you take your physical product sales and strategy to the next level to create your dream life. With episodes like, Can I Have a Successful Product Business as a Side Hustle? Listen to The Product Boss wherever you get your podcasts. Many EO Fire listeners have launched franchises in a variety of industries outside of food, and Frambridge Consulting has guided them to these premier opportunities.

19:54The founder, John Ostenson, has done more placements than any other in the country. Sign up for a free consultation with John or get a free copy of his book, Non-Food Franchising, at franbridgeconsulting.com.