How Preparing My 11-Year-Old for a TEDx Talk Reinvigorated My Passion for Speaker Coaching with Alexia Vernon

0:02John Lee Dumas:Who's ready to rock today, Fire Nation? JLD here, and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire, brought to you by High Level, the all-in-one sales and marketing platform. Today, we'll be breaking down how preparing my 11-year-old for a TEDx talk reinvigorated my passion for speaker coaching. To drop these vibe bombs, I brought Alexia Vernon into EO Fire Studios. Alexia is the CEO of Step Into Your Moxie, coaches entrepreneurs and leaders to use their voice to make a positive impact on stages and interviews and during high stakes conversations. And today for nation, we'll talk about vocal empowerment. We'll talk about soul stirring speaking and oh, so much more.

0:36John Lee Dumas:And a big thing for sparsing today's episode goes to Alexia and our sponsors. Fire Nation, if you have a high ticket offer and need more quality leads, Nexus install is designed for you. We'll book you eight to 20 qualified calls each month, than train you to run the system yourself. Email my team at john at eofire.com to learn more and see if Nexus is the right fit for you. If you are building a real business, you need real infrastructure. High Level gives you website hosting, funnels, email marketing, automation, calendar booking, payments, and course hosting all on one platform, plus award-winning 24-7 support.

1:11John Lee Dumas:Get a 30-day free trial and my full bonus stack that includes a 15-minute private call with me and much more at highlevelfire.com. highlevelfire.com. Alexia, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. It's inevitable, even when we reach a certain level of success, not to have moments where we question everything about our businesses, that there's no place where we get to just plateau and cruise. And that's not a sign of our failings. Rather, it's a sign of us being on the precipice of a next breakthrough. Fire Nation, we're talking today about how preparing Alexia's 11-year-old for a TEDx talk reinvigorated her passion for speaker coaching.

2:04John Lee Dumas:And you were known for years, Alexia, as a top speaking coach. So what led you to expand your focus to vocal empowerment inside organizations? A couple of things. First, COVID. So when COVID started, like so many folks, there were a lot of question marks that I had, but one of the biggest ones was, what do I do now that people are not needing support with presentations? And I'm not going to probably deliver a keynote in person for at least a couple of years. But what started to happen immediately after I asked those questions and had lots of heart palpitations was a lot of my executive speaking clients no longer had to present in the traditional way that they did, but they were wildly uncomfortable having to go to their teams, to their boards, and say that they didn't have answers to the most pressing questions that they were being asked.

3:05They couldn't predict what the next 90 days would look like. They couldn't even predict what the next week would look like. And when I saw that happening in tandem with entrepreneurs that I worked with, similarly not necessarily struggling with presentations or sales calls, but knowing how to talk to the uncertainty that their folks possessed, it awakened in me the reality that speaking wasn't just about being a confident or competent or compelling communicator, it was really learning how to navigate uncertainty that might arise, which this particular moment in our history profoundly highlighted.

3:45And so I got really curious about how we could expand the work that we did in our business to not only supporting people with presentations, but helping them understand what vocal empowerment is and whether we were coaching somebody who was an individual or an organization how to build a culture that supported that.

4:02John Lee Dumas:Now, you do believe that vocal empowerment is an absolute game changer for corporate leaders and business owners alike. Can you expound upon that? Vocal empowerment is possessing the mindset and the skill set to be able to walk into any room, into any conversation, onto any stage, and speak up for oneself, for one's organization, for the ideas and issues that matter to us, and effectively call people to take action. That might sound like it skews more corporate and certainly creating the psychological safety and ensuring one has a speak up culture so that employees can do that as a piece of the work.

4:40But vocal empowerment is about how you show up, how you navigate discomfort, how you ethically move people to take action. And so for business owners, it's the foundation for visibility. It's the foundation for having boundaries and being able to articulate when they've been trespassed. And it's also being able to not only get opportunities, but when we're there, be unapologetic with the stories we tell, with the data we present, with our calls to action. And so without doing that inner work that candidly wasn't always a part of the work that I did up until six or seven years ago, it's really hard to consistently show up and speak up and embody that level of confidence.

5:23John Lee Dumas:Now we have this title that I've teased Fire Nation with here about the thing that inspired your daughter to give a TEDx talk at just 11 years old and you know how you preparing her for that really reinvigorated your passion for speaker coaching so what was the journey like as her speaking coach I mean here you have your daughter Kaya an 11 year old giving a TEDx talk share that story? It came as a surprise to both of us, I think. I had co-organized and hosted a TEDx event here in Las Vegas, which has been my home base for almost two decades. But it was a small event years ago, right as I was starting up my business.

6:07I transitioned that on to other folks. And although I'd continued to work with people on their TEDx, TED style talks for years, some of that work had become a little dormant while scaling up some of the other things that I'd been doing organizationally. But I was telling my daughter over dinner about having a conversation with the TEDx organizer who had just gotten a license to do Las Vegas's first citywide TEDx event. I was sharing with her and with my husband some of their ideas for speakers. And my daughter looked at me and said, I want to apply to speak. And in like a horrible parenting fail of a moment, I said, well, one day that sounds fantastic.

6:50And she gave me total side eye and just said, no, I'm talking about doing it this year. And so much like I would say to a client who had a vision, you know, it's important you have an idea worth spreading that hasn't been communicated in an event before. And she pretty quickly settled on this idea of the gender-based differences between gifted girls and gifted boys and how gifted girls are often overlooked and underdiagnosed and not supported, which, to the best of our knowledge, has never been done in a TED or TEDx talk. And so, ultimately, we put together her pitch. She recorded her video excerpt.

7:29And then, fast forward, 60 days or so, and she got chosen. And that's when the real work began, like it does for any speaker. But when it's your kid who has this opportunity, there's some pros like she can do everything that I would prescribe to a client and I can supervise her doing it. So there's no excuses for not using the organizational structure I recommend, not having enough time to get up and walk and talk. But unlike a client where I don't have a level of attachment other than championing them and wanting them to be successful, holding space for a kiddo navigating all the gremlins that can come up was a lot, especially because this was her first really public presentation outside of school.

8:18and she could feel from the beginning, not that she needed to do well, but almost that she was afraid she might do too well and peak at 11 years old.

8:30John Lee Dumas:Wow, I mean, that's a lot of pressure for an 11-year-old and a lot of big thoughts. And something did actually happen the night before the TEDx talk and Fire Nation, you're gonna have to stick around to hear that story when we get back from thanking our sponsors. Fire Nation, if you have a high ticket offer, but you are not getting enough quality sales calls on the calendar, Nexus install is exactly what you need. This is a custom LinkedIn client acquisition system built to help you connect with the right prospects, start real conversations, and turn those conversations into booked calls. Here is what makes it different.

9:03John Lee Dumas:We do not just hand you a bunch of theory and tell you, good luck, we build the system with you. Dial in your audience, sharpen the messaging, run the outreach, and aim to book you 8 to 20 qualified calls each month. Then once the system is proven and installed, we train you on how to run it yourself so you are not dependent on another agency forever. If you have a strong offer, a clear result, and are ready for more quality conversations with real prospects, email my team at john at eofire.com and then we'll set up a call to see if Nexus Install is the right fit for you. Simple, focused, and built for predictable, long-term, quality lead flow.

9:43John Lee Dumas:Fire Nation, if you are building a real business, you need real infrastructure. That is why High Level is Entrepreneur on Fire's featured partner. High Level gives you a website builder and hosting, funnels and landing pages, email marketing, appointment scheduling, payment processing, course and membership hosting, and so much more. Everything you need to succeed, all under one roof. No duct tape, no juggling five platforms, just one clean system for your business. And their award-winning 24-7 support has your back when you need it most. When you sign up at highlevelfire.com, you also get my exclusive bonus stack, a 30-day free trial, a private 15-minute call with me, JLD, access to my weekly live office hours, a digital copy of my book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success, my 50 Days to Something Execution Roadmap, and more.

10:31John Lee Dumas:Visit highlevelfire.com and start building your something today. Alexia, we're back. And as we teased before the break, something happened before the TEDx talk. Actually, it was the night before something big happened. Can you tell us that story? Yes, I can feel all the sensation coming back into my body, remembering it because it was so hard to watch professionally, but also as a parent. My daughter had come back from doing her dress rehearsal at the event venue, and it had been fine. And emphasis on fine. Like it wasn't her best. By no means was it her worst. And so I suggested she run through it again.

11:15She ran through it again. And this time it dipped profoundly. She hit all her marks. There was not a filler word. She was coordinated with her slides. But it felt like she wasn't really in it. Almost like she was above it looking down and going through the motions. And when I brought that up, she started to cry, shake a little. Um, and was really honest and just said, I'm terrified that I might be so good that this starts a speaking career. I don't know if I want, like, what if I'm defined the rest of my life? I mean, again, she's 11 years old. By this moment, I'm not sure if I can handle that.

11:59and I think that this is not just something that's unique to Kaya it comes up for a lot of us who are on the cusp of doing something big or saying something big or we have a big thought leadership moment and so there's the tactical of what we did I coached her around what the real fear was we breathed we anchored in her body but ultimately we not only came back to her why which was to empower gifted girls to be able to use their voices and those who support gifted girls to understand the brain-based differences to be able to give them more support but also gave her permission to not future trip and to choose who she wanted to be in that moment when she gave that talk and what was so incredible when she delivered her talk was there was so much joy reading out of her, not in a performative way, but like when you think about people who you see on a stage who just feel like they are so in that moment, they're not thinking about what came before.

13:04They're not thinking about what happened in the future. And when she got to the end and she got a standing ovation, there were people who were screaming, Kaya, 20, 28. Just that delight in knowing that whatever she was feeling, she was able to work through it is something as a parent, I think I will hold on to the rest of her life.

13:23John Lee Dumas:Now you talk about soul stirring speaking in your programs. What does that mean? In the last few months of working with Kaya on her talk and also putting together an event that we called soul stirring. What, what I started to recognize was that a lot of the people that we have the privilege of working with who have a lot of research, they're data-driven, they're experts, whether they're entrepreneurial experts or working in more traditional corporations, that there's this fundamental understanding that stories can be helpful in terms of moving people to take action. But delivery still doesn't quite have that quality of moving people to think differently, to feel differently.

14:13And so soul stirring is really a new paradigm. You know, too many of us have internalized the message that like good speaking is about puffing up and posturing, faking it till you make it. But soul stirring is about integrating evidence with emotion, speaking with precision without dialing down passion. and with respect to stories, accessing stories that are deeply lodged within our bodies and sharing them in a way that feels scare sighting is the word I like to use. A little bit scary, a little bit exciting for us and the people we're impacting and learning how to be able to speak in that way consistently so it doesn't feel like we are only in that place if all the factors around us conspire for our success, but we understand how to create that space, that structure, and that support for ourselves so that our communication consistently calls in and galvanizes.

15:10John Lee Dumas:Soul stirring speaking. I just love those three words. Good for you for coming up with that. And Alexia, looking back at your journey, you know, from coaching execs to leadership teams to helping your own daughter on the TEDx stage right now, today, what's lighting you up most about the work you're doing? It sort of feels like being asked to pick who's my favorite child. And I only had one deliberately because I wouldn't have wanted to do that. But there's a few things that all feel like they're a part of that. So definitely one of the cool things, even though as of us recording this, Kaia's talk still hasn't gone live.

15:45She's had a ton of requests to speak from people who are in that live audience. Some of my requests for entrepreneurial groups have been, can you bring Kyle along and can you co-facilitate? So it's been fun for us to explore what that looks like together in terms of us being in our respective lanes and helping other people to use their voices more powerfully. I'm also really loving the work that we do with business owners. We have a vocal empowerment certification program for coaches and consultants who want to be able to support the populations they work with with their communication in this way.

16:25Love seeing the breakthroughs that happen for people around their own relationship to their voice as they learn how to support other people to use their voices. and perhaps last being able inside of organizations while leading communication training to help people look at how they tell stories especially in health care which is a sector that unfortunately over the last couple of years I've had some serious health diagnoses and having experienced healthcare on the receiving side, being able to help clinicians and providers be able to use communication to ensure that the people who are vulnerable that are in their care can ask questions, can experience dignity and so forth.

17:12That's been deeply rewarding as well.

17:14John Lee Dumas:Now, Alexia, we talked about a lot of cool things today. Soul stirring speaking, the journey of coaching your daughter and 11 year old for TEDx and you know, different things that you've done over the years. What's the one key takeaway, the one thing that you would love our audience, Fire Nation, to walk away with today? Visibility is not something we wait until we have the confidence to pursue. But when we understand that vocal empowerment is nuanced, it requires us playing nicely with our inner voice, understanding how to be present with challenging physiological sensations, that it's also comprised of the right messaging, being able to lock into true presence, but also being unapologetic about calling people to take action, that when we work all of those behaviors and turn them into habits, by going after visibility opportunities, even when and especially when we might not feel prepared, that that's what allows vocal empowerment to become our default state rather than something that feels aspirational.

18:19John Lee Dumas:Now, Alexia, Fire Nation's connecting with what you're saying and they want to learn more from you or connect with you. What's your call to action for our listeners today? Yeah, for those who might be listening and want to do some work in terms of working on their speaking, for those who are looking for the more traditional speaking path, they can go to bookcorporategigs.com. And I've got five timely tips to be able to be more effective and go after those organizational speaking opportunities that compensate one well. but for those who might feel like it's more of a individualized path that they'd like to go on in terms of their own relationship to speaking they can connect with me on linkedin fire nation you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with you've been hanging out with av and jld today so keep up that heat and for links to everything that we talked about just visit eofire.com type alexia in the search bar and the show notes page will pop right up alexia thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation today.

19:22John Lee Dumas:For that, we salute you and we'll catch you on the flip side. Thank you. Hey, Fire Nation, a huge thank you to our sponsors and Alexia for sponsoring today's episode. And Fire Nation, over the last decade, I've interviewed more than 4 ,000 of the world's most successful entrepreneurs and I've created a revolutionary 17-step roadmap to your financial freedom and fulfillment. I put it all into my first traditionally published book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success. personally endorsed by Seth Godin and Gary Vaynerchuk. The Common Path to Uncommon Success is the step-by-step guidance that you need to achieve the lifestyle of your dreams.

19:58John Lee Dumas:Visit UncommonSuccessBook.com and I'll catch you there or on the flip side. Fire Nation, if you have a high ticket offer and need more quality leads, Nexus Install is designed for you. We'll book you eight to 20 qualified calls each month then train you to run the system yourself. Email my team at john at eofire.com to learn more and see if Nexus is the right fit for you. If you are building a real business, you need real infrastructure. High Level gives you website hosting, funnels, email marketing, automation, calendar booking, payments, and course hosting all on one platform, plus award-winning 24-7 support.

20:34John Lee Dumas:Get a 30-day free trial and my full bonus stack that includes a 15-minute private call with me and much more at highlevelfire.com. Highlevelfire.com. Thank you.