How to Coach Yourself into a Thriving Future with Simon T Bailey

0:28Boom! Shake the room, Fire Nation. And today we'll talk about the four personality archetypes that are needed to thrive. We'll also talk about the one question we should ask ourselves every 90 days. And if we are truly thriving, what are the results? And oh, so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Simon and our sponsors. Is now the time to grow a successful business? Attend the world's highest rated business growth workshop taught personally by Clay Clark and now featuring football star Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump at thrivetimeshow.com slash EOFire.

1:00Again, request life-changing tickets today at thrivetimeshow.com slash EOFire. Simon, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. Hello, Fire Nation. I would say that failure is not final. Failure is only feedback. feedback and feedback is the breakfast of champions. Fire Nation, we're going to eat and we're going to eat hearty today because Simon T. Bailey is the man. We were just hanging out a couple of weeks ago at PodFest in Orlando. And I can tell you, this guy is the real deal to talk to us about how to coach yourself into a thriving future.

1:41Now, Simon, there are actually four personality archetypes that are needed to thrive. Break down those now. The four personality archetypes is hurry, worry, ready, and steady. So the hurry personality archetype is we're always in a hurry, but we have to slow down to the speed of the moment. Worry oftentimes has a negative connotation, but worry is actually an invitation to be proactive and to solve a problem. Ready is what do I need to do to make it happen? And steady is understanding calmness is your superpower. Of those four, which one's your favorite? Steady. Give me an example of what that looks like in the real world.

2:33Oftentimes you will hear things on the news, notifications on your phone about something happening in the world. And the moment you hear it, you have to decide to grab hold to the steering wheel of your emotions and drive into the future by not being controlled by the backseat passengers of fear and stress. Wow. Fire Nation, are you steady? Finger that pulse right there. How does that feel? Is it a steady beat when that crazy thing comes across your social media feed? I mean, that's one reason why it can be so happy and so healthy to just stop looking at all that FUD that is out there on social media, because that's exactly what people are trying to do.

3:15They're trying to scare you. They're trying to make you fear, have anxiety, because guess what? That means they have your attention for that second in time. So think about that. Think about being steady when something happens, because that is a great archetype to have to thrive. Now, Simon, you believe that there's one single question that we need to ask ourselves every 90 days. What is that question? The question is, what difference did you make in the life of another person or business? And here's why this question is important to you and all of your listeners. Research says that every 90 to 100 days, the blood cells in our body change.

3:57So who you will be 90 to 100 days from now will be a totally different person. There are four quarters in a year. There's four seasons in a year. And the reason you come back to this question, because here's the research, according to Emory University, when you help someone else, the reward centers in your brain begin to light up almost as if you have been on the receiving end of the person you just helped or you've made a difference in their life. And Johnny, guess what they call it? What do they call it? The helper's high. so every 90 days if you come back to this question over the course of a year you can say at least four times i made a difference in the life of someone else and it wasn't about me but it was about we wow i love that and again it kind of goes back to that 25 there's four quarters there's four seasons every 90 days with those blood cells i mean think about that fire nation what a powerful thoughts.

4:58Now, you believe that thriving is even more important than surviving. Tell us more about that. So thriving fuels your energy. Surviving sometimes depletes your energy. And what thriving does is thriving allows you to show up at the intersection of pain, anxiety, and discouragement to say, wait a minute, and I'm going to mix a metaphor here for a second. If I am going to get through this intersection, how do I change the channel on the television? Because when I choose to thrive, I'm changing the channel on the television because life in business is not a remote control. So it snaps you out of just kind of going along to get along to survive because surviving sometimes, Johnny, is looking through the rearview mirror of what just happened.

6:00But thriving is looking through the windshield of opportunity to say, what can I do instead of what I can't do? Here's what the research says. by the time a child is 17 years of age, they have heard no 150 ,000 times and only yes, 5 ,000 times. So the person that chooses to thrive finds the yes in a no world. Those numbers are staggering. And I'm looking at my 15 month old son right now, like not at this moment in time, but now I'm going to look at him next time I get the chance. And I'm going to be like, man, I tell this kid no so many times a day. How many times do I tell them yes. And I really think that's a deep question to think about.

6:40And before we move on, I love real world examples, Simon. Can you give a real world example of maybe yourself thriving and why that's more important than surviving and what that looks like again in that real world scenario? Or just maybe somebody that you've coached. We don't have to use names, it can be all anonymous, but just give that real world example of what it looked like to thrive, not survive. When I left Disney to do this work a few years back, I wrote a book and I self-published it. I decided that I wanted to get a national publisher to pick up the book. So I sent it to New York and LA publishers and I received 13 rejection letters.

7:20And it was the typical, you know, dear Simon, so-and-so were going in another direction. And I had a choice because at that particular time, I had sold 17 ,000 copies out of the back of my trunk inside of 18 months. So to get those rejection letters, I had a choice to say, do I keep going? Or just because they rejected me, does that mean that what I have is not good? And I decided, you know what, I'm going to choose to thrive instead of survive. I'm going to keep pushing forward. And sure enough, it was eventually picked up by a publisher, not because I was pushing. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

8:01So there's someone listening to us. And I just want them to remember that wherever you are right now, encouragement is the oxygen of the soul. Make the extra phone call, send the text, follow through because the fortune is in the follow up. Fortune is in the follow-up. Man, I love that phrase. And I'll tell you how few people actually follow up, Fire Nation. It is shocking how few people do real, true, meaningful follow-ups. So just by you following up, even if you don't do a good follow-up, you're already putting yourself ahead of the competition. But if you do a good to great follow-up, watch out.

8:38The world is your oyster. And we have a lot more to talk about around this topic when we get back from thanking our sponsors. Is this your year to grow a successful business? Are you looking to learn the proven processes and success systems that have been used to create thousands of millionaire success stories? See thousands of success stories and testimonials from real people just like you who Clay Clark has mentored and coached into prosperity at Thrivetimeshow.com slash EOfire. Clay's proven business coaching program is month to month and it costs less money than hiring a minimum wage employee.

9:12Yes, it's month to month and it costs less money than hiring a minimum wage employee. Schedule your free personal 13-point assessment with Clay Clark himself today at thrivetimeshow.com slash EO fire. Because Clay only takes on 160 clients and only allows 300 attendees to each business conference, you will interact with Clay directly. See thousands of real success stories and learn about attending the Thrive Time Show two-day in-person workshop featuring football star Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump today at thrivetimeshow.com slash EO fire. Become the next success story. Schedule a free consultation and request tickets to join football star Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump at Clay Clark's next business conference today at thrivetimeshow.com slash EO fire.

10:00Simon, we're back. And when it comes to coaching, should we coach ourselves or should we invest in being coached? What's the better path in your experience? The answer is yes and yes. So when I say you should coach yourself, there are three questions that I think are critically important for individuals to think about in coaching themselves to thriving. The first question, and I work with a licensed counselor and therapist who used these three questions, Johnny in his practice over a 40-year period. So that first question is, what do you want for you? And that is a simple question that you can go to a journal and begin to write down, what do I want for me?

10:45That's the cognitive question. The second question is, what are you feeling about what you want? That's the emotional question, which really invites you to look at how you are emotionally doing? And then the third question is, what step are you willing to take to get what you want? That's the behavioral question. So in coaching yourself, those are the questions I invite you to consider. But like you, I have invested in coaches because coaches cut down your learning curve. They connect the dots. And I highly, highly recommend you investing and coaching. Let's talk again about a real world example about maybe a coach that you had that really cut down your time horizon on accomplishing that goal or you coaching somebody or something that you think you could share around this specific topic about investing in ourselves to be coached that's really meaningful.

11:42A number of years ago, an amazing entrepreneur in Ireland, Her name is Olivia Buckley. I happened to connect with her at a conference and then we reconnected virtually. And she told me that she had an idea and she kind of unpacked it. And I said, hey, here's something to think about. And I just gave her a few tips, tools and techniques. Well, fast forwarding 10 years later, she took the leap into becoming an entrepreneur and now has been celebrated throughout Europe as one of the top luxury wedding planners in all of Europe. And just to hear in her voice that, you know what, she took that leap and she totally believed in herself and went for it.

12:31Wow, I love that. And Fire Nation, this is what can happen when you invest in yourself, when you believe in yourself, when you're open to learning from others, like of course, everybody on this podcast is open to because you're listening, you're taking your time to listen to entrepreneurial advice, to business advice, to life advice, from people who have different levels of experience, different levels of success. And that's super valuable. Now, Simon, when we're truly thriving, I mean, deeply and truly thriving, What are the results? You become the gift that keeps on giving. And GIFT is an acronym.

13:08You generate opportunities for others. When you are working in your business and you are doing what you do really well and thriving, this is network effect where other people are like, whoa, thank you. But here's the other thing. You impact society because you become a role model. You decide to lead. You decide that you're not going to settle for the status quo. You decide that average is over. So people are impacted because you showed up and you said yes to being a problem solver. But then here's the other thing is you have fortitude. Fortitude comes from a word called fortis. And fortis is where we get the word fortify, which means, wait for it, courage under fire.

13:55So when you have that fortitude, you become the beacon that people are like, wait a minute, if they can, I can. And then the T is you transform through narrative. Because you understand how to embrace your story, the results is that other people begin to up their game in their story, their narrative, because you decided to thrive. So generate opportunities for others. So the GIFT acronym, can you go through that for us? Yes. Generate opportunities for others, impact society, focus on fortitude, transform through narrative. Let's dive a little bit deeper into focus on fortitude. Break that down for us.

14:42One of the things I think is critically important is number one, fortitude is the new attitude. So when you hear of everything happening in the economy, perhaps you didn't get the order, the business didn't come through. I had a client cancel an opportunity where we had been talking for a number of months. And so I had to decide just because they cancel, how do I replace that business? And what I've encouraged others to think about is when you have fortitude, you focus on what is going well, instead of what's wrong. When you focus on fortitude, Let me give everyone a tool that's listening to us.

15:21And you can take out a sheet of paper and write down park, start, accelerate. Put into park, what are the behaviors or habits or things you need to put in park? It's not working. Then what are the things you need to start doing? Make the phone call, go to the meeting, raise your prices, ask for the sale. But then the accelerate, this is where it gets fun. What is working well? Where is your brilliance really happening? And how do you do more of what's working? That builds fortitude because you have courage in the midst of the storm. Let me sum this up with a story that really encapsulates fortitude.

16:05A man, and Gordon Dalby tells this story in his book, Healing the Masculine Soul. A man was having a reoccurring dream of a ferocious lion chasing him. and whenever he would have the dream, he would take off running. And one day he went to see a counselor and the counselor said, the next time you have the dream, stop, turn around, face the lion, look the lion in the eye and ask the lion, who are you? Why are you chasing me? So, Johnny Lee, a couple of weeks goes by and this guy has this reoccurring dream of the ferocious lion chasing him and he takes off running. But it dawns on him what the counselor says.

16:43So he turns around, faces the lion, looks the lion in the eye and says, who are you? Why are you chasing me? And the lion says, I'm your strength and courage. Why are you running from me? That's fortitude. Man, I mean, I ask a question, Fire Nation and Simon just drops a value bomb. So thanks for that, Simon. Absolutely love it. And I want to know what you believe we can do with this micro practice that we've been talking about here. You believe that we can do this micro practice with others. Tell us more about that. So when we become focused on others, what we're really doing is we are shifting from here I am to there you are.

17:26Where have you been? And we just start with a question. What do you want for you? What it does, it honors that person in the moment to feel seen, valued, understood. someone is actually asking what I want for me. And now they get to create the future. You get to help them curate in the moment, just with that question. That simple micro practice can really unlock a person to thrive rather than survive. Simon, you've dropped some serious value bombs here today. I mean, we've gone over the four personality archetypes. The one question we need to ask ourselves every day. You gave us this great acronym of GIFT, about thriving over surviving.

18:10What would you say is the one thing that you would really want Fire Nation, our listeners, to walk away with from our conversation today? Schedule a 15-minute appointment with yourself every single day. It could be the end of the day, beginning of the day, because how you start the day determines the day. And take that 15 minutes and chunk it down into three five-minute segments. The first five minutes, meditate, get really quiet. Second five minutes to read or listen to something that inspires you. Third five minutes is stretch and get aligned with the day because that 15 minutes a day creates seven days a week, seven days a week.

18:4830 days creates 90 days. So when you get to the end of the quarter, how did I get here, Fire Nation? What have you been doing the last 30, 60, 90? What have you been doing the last seven days? What have you been doing 15 minutes a day? Fire Nation, powerful stuff. And Simon, if Fire Nation wants to connect with you, wants to learn more from you, what is your call to action for our audience today? They can go to simontbailey.com. Fire Nation, keep it simple because you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You've been hanging out with STB and JLD today, so keep up that heat.

19:26And for links to everything we talked about, visit eofire.com. Just type Simon in the search bar. The show notes page will pop right up. And Simon, one more time, what is that URL? SimonTBailey.com, T for terrific. T for terrific, and Bailey is B-A-I-L-E-Y. Simon, thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation. For that, we salute you, brother, and we'll catch you on the flip side. Hey, Fire Nation, a huge thank you to our sponsors and Simon for sponsoring today's episode. And Fire Nation, over the last decade, I've interviewed more than 4 ,000 of the world's most successful entrepreneurs, and I've created a revolutionary 17-step roadmap to your financial freedom and your fulfillment.

20:04I put it all into my first traditionally published book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success, personally endorsed by Seth Godin and Gary Vaynerchuk. The Common Path to Uncommon Success is the step-by-step guidance that you need to achieve the lifestyle of your dreams. Visit UncommonSuccessBook.com. I'll catch you there or on the flip side. Is now the time to grow a successful business? Attend the world's highest rated business growth workshop taught personally by Clay Clark and now featuring football star Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump, at thrivetimeshow.com slash eofire. Again, request life-changing tickets today at thrivetimeshow.com slash eofire.