How to Get What You Want by Owning the Stage with Freya Casey

0:02Who's ready to rock today, Fire Nation? JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on fire brought Brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals with great shows like Science of Scaling. Today, we'll be breaking down how to get what you want by owning the stage. To drop these value bombs, I have brought Friya, Casey, and EO Fire Studios. From opera singer to best-selling author and entrepreneur, Friya, who's a single mother of three, transforms voices to turn dreams into reality. And today, we'll talk about being unapologetically authentic. Dick. We'll also talk about ignoring other people's opinions, immersing in your character, and how that's going to influence your life ambitions and so much more.

0:46And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Frya and our sponsors. Marketing Made Simple, hosted by my friend, Dr. JJ Peterson, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Marketing Made Simple brings you practical tips to make your marketing easy and more importantly, make it work. A recent episode on whether vulnerability is a superpower and business is a must listen. Listen to Marketing Made Simple wherever you get your podcasts. Freya, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with.

1:22Well, first of all, I'm excited to be here. This is really, really awesome. And the thing that I have learned over the years that I used to disagree with is that I have made the most progress when I actually didn't do anything. When I took a break, when I was on sabbatical, when I walked in the forest, when I meditated, when I was not working on the business is when I made the most progress. Just taking a step back and seeing the big picture versus being immersed in all the little bitty details that we used to, we just get caught up in has helped me always to kind of see the bigger vision of it all.

1:58I love starting here at Fire Nation because I can tell you with certainty, every one of my seven figure ideas has come on one of my daily walks. I do a three mile walk in the morning with my dog, three mile walk in the evening with Gus. And that's just my reflection time. That's my relaxing time. I'm listening to podcasts, music, audio books, and then ideas seem to come. And it's never when I'm rushing or trying to force something that that idea comes. So I love that because we're talking about how to get what you want, Fire Nation, by owning the stage. And I want to talk about what exactly unapologetic authenticity is and how it opens up opportunities on the stage.

2:41As an opera singer who is on stage, you have to always play a role. But it's so much more than just playing something that is not you. You have to immerse yourself in the character and kind of get to this point of not judging, not scrutinizing anything that the character does or thinks or believes. But you have to accept that this is authentically who this person is and this is their experience. And I feel like when you want to sell anything to anyone, whether it's whatever you believe in or anything you want them to do, you have to be very secure in who you authentically are and what that character is or that belief is that you're standing for.

3:24I have had the experience that, you know, I used to stand in front of people and ask myself, is that BS what I'm saying? What are they thinking? Do they judge me right now? Maybe they're hating what I'm doing. But what I've learned being in opera, and there are sometimes characters you might not agree with because it's not what you stand for. But whenever you want to sell an idea or anything that you stand for, you have to be the one experiencing everything that it stands for. And unless you authentically are that person that believes what it is that you that message that you have, human beings are very empathetic.

4:07They can smell BS when you're you know, when you're talking about something that you're not fully behind and fully in an immersive way, in a very authentic way, stand for. They're not going to believe you and they can smell that even on stage. It's just the light in your eyes, the color of your voice, that tone that you have that gives everything away. And that's why I've learned in order to really get what you want, you have to get to that point to where you fully believe in that character that you are in the story that you are selling. Freya, I want to talk about desire because you believe that focusing on our intrinsic desires impacts our business and our own personal success.

4:56So talk about how this has been the truth for you and specifically how. Well, there are always some extrinsic desires. There might be vanity metrics. You know, I want to have a million subscribers on YouTube or I want to make amount XYZ as revenue. That is an extrinsic desire. But really, what stands behind that is more, it's the vehicle that gets us where we really want to go. For example, for me, the intrinsic desire behind everything that I do is really, number one, for my children. It's the drive, why I do everything that I do. And there's nothing that could substitute for that intrinsic desire.

5:40All the outside things that I want to achieve, all those goals that I have, there will always be the next bigger goal. But the underlying intrinsic desire is what's really going to help me not burn out. It's going to help me be more authentic. It's going to help me be like full of fire when I talk about something. When I think of my kids and why do I want a bigger house? It's not just to have a bigger house, but it's I want to be the place where all the friends that my children bring home feel safe and heard and understood. and they can have all these conversations with me. It's that underlying intrinsic desire that drives everything and all the message that I bring across that, I mean, really, there are always times when we feel like, I don't feel like doing this now or I think it's too hard.

6:36I've come to this point several times where I felt like, why is it so hard? What don't I know that everyone else knows that seems to get so far ahead sometimes? but knowing that intrinsic underlying desire is what keeps me on track. It keeps my eyes on the focus. And that is more than just a million followers on YouTube or X amount of revenue. Fire Nation, how is this resonating with you? What is this touching cord wise for you in your life? And I want to move into OPO, other people's opinions, because you, Freya, believe very strongly that we need to ignore other people's opinions if we're going to create a convincing performance, whether that be in life, on stage.

7:24Can you share what you mean by this? No, there's a difference, of course, between taking into account what others say. We want to take advice. Obviously, I have a coach. I'm part of mastermind groups. I highly value their opinions. And sometimes I might be on the wrong track and I want to correct the course. But what I'm talking about is that moment when you stand in front of an audience. Now that might be on the opera stage. That might be when you're recording a podcast. It might be when you're recording that video or when you're doing a webinar. That moment when you're on, when everyone is watching you, when you are bringing your message across, you can't stand there asking yourself, is this really what I stand for?

8:09Is this, I touched on that in the beginning. What do others think I remember that time like I was in I was on a cruise ship I was hired as the soloist and each and every concert there was this one lady she sat in the audience with her arms crossed with a very serious face and frequently she would just shake her head really slowly the entire performance I was thinking oh my goodness is she hating what I'm doing what like does she do I suck and I questioned everything. I had enough experience to where I could just continue on, but I questioned everything I did. Every single note, I was like, is she hating it?

8:52But here's the thing. Don't make assumptions about your audience, what anyone thinks. I met her in the hallway a few days later, and then she suddenly lit up. She's like, are you that singer and I was just thinking oh my goodness she's just gonna tell me all the things she hated and suddenly she smiled at me it's like you know what I have been coming on this cruise ship here for 20 years and you are the best artist I have ever seen on here which is to say that when you are convinced of what it is that you're doing when you stand there and you are bringing your message across don't question anything you just kind of have to start not caring it's like and In this moment, this is not the time to question everything that you're standing for.

9:39This is the moment to be very unapologetic and just to be fully yourself and just do whatever it is. Be polarizing. Say what it is that you mean. Don't be wishy-washy. Don't water it down. Just speak the truth. This really goes to assumptions as well, Fire Nation. I mean, there's been so many times when I've been on stage and I've been going back and forth, delivering value. And you see a lot of people like eyes wide open, nodding, and they're taking notes. I mean, those people, obviously they're enjoying it and they're getting great value. And then there are those people like Frye's talking about arms crossed, sour expression on their face, whatever it might be.

10:14And I've had the same experience in the hallway afterwards. They've been like, oh my God, that was a great experience. Like I really enjoyed that talk. And it's just their natural expression. Or it's just, you know, they were thinking about something else at that time that I glanced at them or whatever it might be. Like don't assume because Fire Nation, it can make an ASS out of you and me. Never assume. Now, we have a lot to talk about around this topic when we get back from thanking our sponsors. Starting your year off strong and accomplishing goals like increasing revenue and faster growth starts with the right selling tools.

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12:41See hims.com slash E-O-F for details and important safety information. Subscription required. Prices vary based on product and subscription plan. Fry, we're back. And one thing that you also believe very strongly that immersing yourself in a character can help maintain that focus on our goals. Can you give us an example of how you've done this in your life? When I was studying opera, whenever you study a role, you have to study it on all levels. So there's the music, all the notes. there are the words the lyrics and i've had to sing entire operas in foreign languages like italian for example so there are the words there's the music then there are the rehearsals with the orchestra so you have like your brain literally has to divide up into all these different parts that you have to pay attention to then there's the actual performance like the you know the theater of it the acting part and then you have to bring it all together and it's the same really in business.

13:42When you want to deliver an amazing performance, you kind of have to take it apart. You first have to do your homework and take it apart into little bitty pieces and then put it back together. But you can only immerse if you understand every little detail about it. If you don't understand what is the motivation behind that? What is the goal? How do I achieve that goal? Where do I come from? What is that entire life story? Like when I studied characters in opera, basically I had to come up with all questions to anything you could have asked me about that character as if it were me for real. And that is hard work.

14:20You really have to dig deep in yourself and ask yourself, so what would be the favorite color or why, why was there, what was the motivation behind that action she just took? Like, why did she not say straight out that you love the guy. What is the motivation and what is wrong? Maybe there's a pain underlying. And I think even understanding your audience, put yourself in the shoes. It's like a character. Put yourself in the shoes of your audience, of that person that you're trying to solve the problem. It's like, what is that experience? Where are they coming from? What are the details? it's the language we use even when we sell something you have to be specific you know like in in singing there are a lot of i love you music but that is very broad that is very generic it doesn't really have a meaning unless you have all that subtext that goes with it you know maybe it's an i love you oh you know what i've loved you for so many years we're like an old couple now we're also best friends and we do everything together maybe it's an i love you that is more like oh my my goodness, I am so attracted.

15:27I just met this person and I'm all hormones. There are different shades that it could take on. And so really immersing yourself in the character in order to understand what is your message, but also to understand where does that person coming from that you're talking to, what is their pain point or what are their hopes, what are their dreams, what are they hoping for? Because you play the character, but you also, that character never stands alone. That character is surrounded by other human beings that have an entire story to tell also. And I feel keeping that in mind when we sell something or when we sell an idea or when we talk to anyone that we want to understand where we're coming from, we have to kind of keep that entire play in the back of our minds.

16:17What is that play of life with everyone who's involved? Friya, one thing that you've been able to do is embody your stage character. And this has really influenced your life as well as the ambitions that you've had. So can you share some of the specifics on this? I've had a past that was, you know, like my childhood has a lot to do with where I went later in life and why I actually became someone who's on stage. I feel like a lot of singers, when you look at all the singers that are really famous, a lot of them are very much introverts and they've had, they were either a very hurt child or they've had a very life changing experience at some point.

16:56now some can handle it some of course drift off and have big problems and get into drugs and stuff but the way to embody a stage character has helped me to kind of it is fully me but I can I can separate out I can separate out the negativity that I might carry with me like when my my dad always griped me out when I was a child I was I was paralyzed A lot of times I was paralyzed because it was like I didn't have any power against it. You know, I was just in that situation. I could not get away from it. So what I did was it's almost like I flee. I fled into this character that was really asking myself, who am I deeply and believing that deep within?

17:48It's not true. What are you saying about me? It's I am authentically this good child with the best intentions. And when you study a stage character, it's the same what I said in the beginning. It's really like not judging anything, whether it's positive or negative. Don't give it a color. It's not good or bad. That is something that a lot of times our upbringing tells us or society tells us what is good or bad. what is desirable or not desirable or like you know the language we use is really important for judging whatever is good or bad or we want it or don't want it this this is a good guy this is a bad guy this is a good product this is a bad product um the question really is um is there a congruency um and asking yourself if there's this congruency between you and that character that you're embodying.

18:44In this case, of course, it could be the message that you have for the world. You know, we all have these experiences that were painful in the past, but I feel that can contribute to understanding ourselves better and understanding our customers, understanding the people that we interact with, because there's always this entire world of what, where the experience is positive, and negative in the past. And that has influenced me a lot because understanding that that hurt child only made me stronger and it made me understand everyone else in this world who is also that hurt or was that hurt child.

19:30Now it helps me connect with a lot of people because they have that same story. So yeah, just not, you know, being authentic about and accepting that character that is you. Freya, we've talked about unapologetic authenticity, other people's opinions, intrinsic desires. What is the main takeaway from our chat that you really want to make sure Fire Nation gets? I feel like you really can, you can only have success and fun when you're truly authentically yourself. Like you have to come to this point. I mean, there are going to be haters. I get this all the time on YouTube. There are people who think they like they have an opinion and they think they know something and don't feel offended.

20:16If you are truly secure in what it is that you have to offer and you understand that person that you're talking to, that you might change their life by offering the thing that you can help them with. and if you allow other people from the outside to judge you in a way that it will cause you to lose focus and to question what it is that you have to deliver it will just take it will make your message so much weaker and you will not be able to help as many people like just think about that one person if you can just be unapologetically who you are and get that message across to them in a strong way.

21:04When it's watered down, no one listens to you. But there is that person who needs you and who needs you to change their life because it's exactly what they need. They don't need generic. They don't need broad. There's tons of stuff out in the media and there are so many offers. But that human connection that we have with someone by sharing our own experience our vulnerabilities, it might just make the world of difference. I mean, John, you do this too. You have followed a path. No matter what anyone said, you were very secure and like, this is what I want to do. And I know there are those people.

21:49I'm going to change their lives. And I'm sure you get tons of messages from people all the time that tell you, John, I listened to this episode and it changed my life. The takeaway changed my life. But if you had been always playing it safe, it may not have gone that way because it's too generic. I always tell everyone, it's like, you know, chat GPT nowadays, you'd give chat GPT a prompt and it spits out something extremely generic and broad and general. And that's not going to touch anyone. It's the human story. It's that underlying intrinsic value, that pain that is behind that, that you want to help solve.

22:31That's what it's really all about. I love that. And Fire Nation, when you can truly at your core know what it is that you want to be unapologetically known for in the track that you want to follow, and you just follow and focus, follow that one course until success. That's where it is. That's where the magic is. And Fry is right. I mean, everybody told me my path was the wrong path before I started that path. And then, of course, once I got down that path and there was success, everybody's like, of course, that was the right path. Like, that was very obvious. Well, of course, it wasn't obvious at the time, only in hindsight.

23:07And Fire Nation, when it comes to haters, just remember this. Hurt people hurt people. Those individuals that are spewing negativity about other people or even you when you're doing something, they're lashing out because they're hurting and they're trying to make themselves feel better and of course it's not working for them and don't let it get toxic for you just let that go let it just wash over you and in some ways in the right times feel empathy for those individuals because again they are hurting in a lot of ways shapes and forms so Freyag let's dive into you sharing with Fire Nation, a call to action that you have for our listeners who want to connect with you, learn more from you.

23:54What is that call to action for Fire Nation today? I have a free course that I would offer to everyone. If you have a goal, a very specific goal, and you're just not sure about how do I go about it? I have a free course, how to achieve any goal. And you can find it when you go to findyourvoice.tv, along with some resources and my podcast and all the good stuff. I would highly encourage you to check that out. Fire Nation, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You've been hanging out with FC and JLD today, so keep up the heat. For links to everything we talked about, visit eofire.com.

24:36Just type Freya in the search bar, and that is F-R-E-Y-A. and the show notes page will pop right up with links to all that jazz, her free course that she mentioned and everything else. And Friah, I want to say thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation. For that, we salute you and we'll catch you on the flip side. Awesome, thank you so much. Hey, Fire Nation, a huge thank you to our sponsors and Friah for sponsoring today's episode. And Fire Nation, over the last decade, I've interviewed more than 4 ,000 of the world's most successful entrepreneurs and I've created a revolutionary 17-step roadmap to your financial freedom and fulfillment.

25:14I put it all into my first traditionally published book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success, personally endorsed by Seth Godin and Gary Vaynerchuk. The Common Path to Uncommon Success is the step-by-step guidance that you need to achieve the lifestyle of your dreams. Visit UncommonSuccessBook.com and I'll catch you there or on the flip side. Marketing Made Simple, hosted by my friend, Dr. JJ Peterson, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Marketing Made Simple brings you practical tips to make your marketing easy and more importantly, make it work.

25:50A recent episode on whether vulnerability is a superpower in business is a must listen. Listen to Marketing Made Simple wherever you get your podcasts.