How to Turn Overthinking From a Super Problem Into a Superpower with Jon Acuff: An EOFire Classic from 2021

0:02Who's ready to rock today, Fire Nation? JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire, brought Brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals with great shows like inclusion and marketing. Today, we're pulling a classic episode from the archives and we'll be breaking down how to turn overthinking from a super problem into a superpower. To drop these value bombs, I brought John Acuff into EO Fire Studios. John is the New York Times bestselling author of seven books and an Inc. Magazine top 100 leadership speaker. And today, Fire Nation will talk about how every new level you go to, there is a new fear.

0:35Deal with it, then go on to the next level. Do what you want to do. Do not allow extra thoughts to slow you down, Fire Nation, and so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to John and our sponsors. Sales Evangelist, hosted by my friend, Donald Kelly, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Each week, Donald interviews the world's best sales experts, successful sellers, sales leaders, and entrepreneurs who share their strategies to succeed in sales right now. A recent episode you should definitely check out is the five ways to do daily outbound with LinkedIn.

1:09Listen to Sales Evangelist wherever you get your podcasts. Hostinger is among the top web hosting and website creation brands in the world. See for yourself. Head to hostinger.com slash onfire and use code onfire for an exclusive 10 % discount. That's hostinger.com slash onfire and the code onfire. John, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. I am thrilled to be back again. This is my favorite conversation that we get to have. I think most people think you can become fearless and you must become fearless in order to be successful.

1:51And my idea is no, fear gets a voice. It doesn't get a vote. So when I spoke to 10 people the first time, I had 10 person fear, but then I did it and I got over it. Then a hundred people, I had a hundred person fear, a thousand people. I think that at every new level you go to, there's new fear and you deal with it and then you grow to the next level. So I don't think you wait until you become fearless to do the thing. I think you'll always have some degree. Fear will be present. It has a voice. It doesn't get a vote. It doesn't get to sit at the table and decide whether or not you do the thing.

2:20Fear has a voice, not a vote. And Fire Nation, honestly, this is one of the problems I have when I interview John is I'm too busy taking notes and typing away here. And then I have to rush back and have the next part of the conversation because I learn so much, so many big takeaways. By the way, John, when I repeat them down the line, I give you credit for them the first two times, but then I own them. Is that okay? Yeah, that is rare that I get the first two times. Most people go, you can just say Abe Lincoln or Rick Ross, just whatever. The internet doesn't fact check. I love it. So good. So listen, Fire Nation, as I mentioned in the introduction, We're going to be talking all about how to turn overthinking from a super problem into a superpower.

3:00And John Acuff is going to drop these value bombs. So, John, let's just dive into the first part of our conversation is what specifically percent of people overthink? So the PhD who helps me with my research, his name's Mike Peasley, he and I asked 10 ,000 people if they struggle with overthinking. And 99.5 % of people said yes. and it's really interesting because most people think they're the only ones but actually everybody does it and we did this survey before 2020 I mean you talk about a year that was catnip for overthinking 2020 had everyone overthinking so it's a really common issue and as an author when you find something that 99.5 % of people raise their hand for you write that book I mean you talk a lot about serving need and adding value in what you do there's a place for me to add value I mean, I can tell you, Kate, my fiance, she is a perfect example of an overthinker.

3:55I mean, she's an amazing human being, but she overthinks everything. We always talk about it. Like she gets sometimes paralyzed with thinking and overthinking because it just, it just, she doesn't know what to do with it. She's just like, okay, I'm just thinking, I got to think of all the possible scenarios. I know there's 4 billion possible scenarios, but I got to think about every single one of them. If this outcome happens, what happens? I think I might be in that 0.5%, John, I might be in that 0.5 % of people who do not overthink. And sometimes, by the way, it's to my detriment. I mean, I am a big believer in that ask for forgiveness, not permission type of thing.

4:30And I've gotten into some hot water more than one time. So what would you say to me, the person in the 0.5 %? Well, my wife is in the same 0.5%. So we've been married for 20 years. And so sometimes it's like we speak a foreign language. Um, so what I'd say to you in the point five is one of the greatest gifts you can give your fiance is the gift of empathy And empathy is defined with two things understanding what someone needs and acting on it It's two parts Like in that whether that's business whether that's personal relationships So if you if you're not somebody who overthinks Give somebody who does overthink empathy understand what they need and act on it so that they don't feel like They're giving you 10 000 thoughts and you go.

5:10No, you should only have two because that's where you end up speaking different languages and missing each other I think I kind of like your wife. I mean, in our pre-interview chat, you told me how she's amazing when it comes to all home construction and repair. Now she's like not an overthinker. I mean, there's a lot of good things. I can see what you saw in her, John. Very, very good stuff. She said to me the other day, she said, I think in three years, you're going to wish you had a time machine that you could use to travel back to these days right now that you're missing. And I was like, so she drops what I call elegant grenades.

5:39And what she meant was, we've got a sophomore in high school and a junior, no, a freshman in high school and a junior in high school. And in three years, they're both going to be out of the house. And she was like, we have a window and you're missing it right now. And so, yeah, my, my wife, Jenny, um, she, she speaks the truth. Whenever we do events, she's the most requested person. They want to, people want to ask Jenny questions. And we, we are barely doing some content together because she's more of a behind the scenes person, but it's, it's fun when you've got, you know, when you've got a fiance, when you've got a spouse, you've got a partner, one plus one doesn't equal two, it equals one million.

6:11Two people pushing in the same direction is amazing. I mean, I always use the word value bombs, but again, I'm going to steal for the right time the elegant grenade and give you credit twice, but then it's mine forever. There you go. I appreciate that. Let's talk about how overthinking specifically impairs our goals. Take that away. Take, for instance, writing a book. 81 % of Americans, according to the New York Times, want to write a book. And every year, if you look at Amazon publishing numbers, less than 1 % do. 81 % say they want to, 1 % do. That's a gigantic gap. And part of what happens is we overthink it.

6:46Whenever I hear somebody dramatizing their book and they go, I got to write the book. I've been working on the book for 10 years. And I'll say, well, what's the goal of the book? And they're like, to prove to my dad that my decision to be a writer was the right one. I think, oof, you've added all this extra pressure, all this extra overthinking. And that's one of the ways that gets into, you know, in the way, same with going to the gym, you know, how to drive to the gym. Like most people aren't like confused by how a treadmill works. Like they only go one direction, but it's all these extra thoughts that we put against our goals.

7:19And so what I, my definition of overthinking is when what you think it's in the way of what you want. So you want to write a book, you want to get in shape, you want to start a business, you want to start a podcast. Those aren't impossible to start. People start them every day and then extra thoughts get in the way and slow you down. So as we mentioned in the introduction, your latest book is called Soundtracks, which is going to be available everywhere at Fire Nation in April of 2021. So pretty soon after you hear our voices, you're going to be able to go make this happen. And Fire Nation has been trained by yours truly, John, to love stories.

7:53So within this book, what's your favorite story? I think my favorite story is in chapter one. I'm like you, I'm not going to wait on value. Like let's, I like to write slingshot chapter ones where it's like you're pulling back a slingshot and it launches you into the rest of the book. So probably my favorite story is Colleen Berry. I, you know, did a ton of research with my readers and I tested these ideas with thousands of people before I put them in a book. And so I asked people, you know, have you ever changed your life by changing your mindset, by controlling what you thought? Because most people don't pick their thoughts.

8:27Even my most Taipei friends who lay out their clothes the night before they go to the gym don't pick out their thoughts for a meeting. They don't say, hey, I've got a big meeting tomorrow, so here's the three soundtracks I want playing while I'm in there. They just let their thoughts show up and then get wrecked by them. So I ask that question. Colleen Berry says, you know what? I lost my job during the dot-com bust in Boston. I was a documentary filmmaker. I had shown a film in Cannes, and all of a sudden, I had to take four jobs just to piece together something, and a lot of people would have gotten stuck there.

8:55She's a receptionist at a real estate office. A lot of people would have had resignation. Oh, well, this is how it is. Fear. What if I even lose this job? Entitlement. I shouldn't have to make people coffee in a lobby of a real estate office. And instead, she said, I'm going to build a plan and a path out of this. I'm going to become the best receptionist that there's ever been. I'm going to change my thoughts, which will change my actions, which will change my results. And over a 15-year process, she's now the CEO of the company. So getting to show her as an example and how she deliberately all along the way used thoughts to lead to different actions was probably my favorite story in the book.

9:31Fire Nation, you'll hear me talk a lot about not being a time traveler. Like don't live in the past, don't dread the past and don't live in the future, don't dread the future. It's like you have this present moment right now and knowing that this is the present moment you have, why would you just not be the best version of you right now? And that's exactly what this character and the story decided to do, be the best present moment she could possibly be. And that led it to amazing things because all these things add up over time, Fire Nation. So what are you doing with your presence? And now one thing that I'm excited about is we're going to be talking about three specific questions that you, Fire Nation, should be asking your thoughts as soon as we get back from thanking our sponsors.

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13:24That's hostinger, H-O-S-T-I-N-G-E-R dot com slash onfire and the code onfire. John, we're back. And as we kind of teased before the break, we know that Fire Nation has thoughts. So what are the three questions that they should be asking these thoughts? Well, here's the three questions. You should ask any repetitive thought. I said soundtracks for thoughts because that's what it's like. It's like a soundtrack for your day. It's something you're hearing over and over and over again. So you take your repetitive thoughts and you ask them these three questions. Number one, is it true? Is this thought true?

13:59Is it true right now? Number two, is it helpful? Does it move me forward or pull me back? And the third is, is it kind? Is it kind to myself? Because sometimes, you know, you'll have a true thought that say, like, I want to start a podcast. Okay, well, that's difficult. Is it true? It can be. But is it true that it's impossible? No. So that thought you might go, it's not impossible to start a podcast. That's not true. Or this, you know, I have a thought, is this helpful? Does it move me forward? Does it encourage me? And is it kind? Does it result in me feeling better about myself? 53 % of people who filled out the survey said they felt drained and inadequate by overthinking.

14:40The one thing I never saw in any of the research was somebody who overthinks compliments. I couldn't find a single person. I was like, I just am so nice to myself on the inside. I overthink compliments about what a good mom I am constantly. It's a real hassle. No, we tend to overthink the negative. I always say fear comes free. Faith takes work. You have to work at positive thoughts. You've all had that moment where you're in the grocery store and something you failed at three years ago comes back. and reminds you, oh, that's right, I said that stupid thing in the meeting. So I want you to ask those three questions.

15:09And when you do, you're gonna be really surprised at the thoughts you've been letting take up a lot of your space. And that's where it gets fun because you can start to create some new thoughts, some new soundtrack. Soundtracks for your day. I love how you broke that down. And those three questions, is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? Like just try it for one day, Fire Nation. Try asking yourself these three questions. Is it true? is it helpful? Is it kind? You might be surprised by the results of that question. Now, John, obviously, we live in a new world now. I mean, 2020 threw a right-hand hook punch to a lot of people in a lot of different ways, by the way, a lot of different ways.

15:51So do you think that overthinking increased or decreased in 2020? It 100 % increased. I mean, think about all the things we used to take for granted that would happen. I mean, you've talked to me before about going on European vacations with your fiance. Like you, you can't plan that the same way. Like even the calendar got twisted on us. I tell people right now, three days is firm. I have a pretty good sense it's going to happen. Three weeks is fuzzy. I'm a little unsure. Three months is fiction. And so we all had to change our calendar. So yes, the, you know, all of the 2020 challenges increased overthinking because we lost comfort, clarity, and courage in a lot of things.

16:32And we had this kind of perfect storm of overthinking. And that's why I'm really excited. I mean, to be honest with you, would I rather launch the book the way I know how to launch the books, which is doing a bunch of live events? Yeah, that's what I've built my career on. But it also gives me a chance to say, hey, I made it through 2020 because I learned how to control what I think. And it was like I learned how to swim right before the world got covered in water. And I can't wait for you to learn these same things too. Lost comfort, clarity, and focus. 2020 hit people really hard, really where it hurts.

17:06In Fire Nation, there's a lot of people, by the way, who have completely transitioned, who are completely living new lives right now and thriving. And there are some people who are literally still drowning right now. So let's talk, as we close down here, about Soundtracks. It's available in April of 2021. So John, take the mic. What do you want Fire Nation to know about this book? I want them to know they have the permission and the power to change the way they think. That thoughts aren't something you have, they're something you hone. And that if you can worry, you can wonder. If you can spin, you can soar.

17:44If you can doubt, you can dominate. And it starts with how you think. I mean, your thoughts are the most constant, loudest thing you'll experience all day. What if they could be fighting for you, not against you? That's the potential you have. And it's, there's simple things you can do and there are fun things you can do. And so I think that the people that read this book are going to go, I had no idea how many things I was listening to that aren't true. And I had no idea what happens when I start listening to things that are true, that I get to pick, that I get to create. So I think it's going to be a lot of fun for a lot of people.

18:18Fire Nation, you see what I'm saying over here? I mean, I'm Johnny Twinklefingers trying to keep up, typing all these things down, taking all these notes because it's just line after line of awesomeness. I mean, one that I got down was thoughts aren't something you have. They are something you hone. I mean, when you think about it that way, man, I just want to start honing my thoughts. Literally. Well, John, think about it this way. People say things like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. That means that you woke up with some thoughts you didn't like and decided they got to change your day.

18:47Well, who says they get to control your day or like when traffic ruins your day? Like, I don't want to give the Atlanta traffic permission to change my day. Like, it's just it's terrible at deciding what kind of day I have. Like as a general rule, you shouldn't give traffic the power to control your day. And if you know you're going to experience it, it's so much better to go, no, no, no, no, no, no. I get to choose my day. I get to shape my day. And it starts with the thoughts that I listened to on repeat. Like that's the key to the book. The heart of the book is you retire your broken soundtracks, you replace them with new soundtracks and you repeat them so often they become as automatic as the old ones.

19:23When it comes to your soundtracks for the day, Fire Nation, when it comes to the thoughts for your day, is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? John, where are we going ideally to pick up a copy of this book? Soundtracksbook.com. If you pre-order it before April 6th, you get the audio book for free. I read the audio book, which I absolutely love doing. You get a ton of fun bonuses. You get a signed book plate, which is a fancy word for a sticker. We're actually going to send you mail. And here's what I've been telling people about pre-ordering a book. When you pre-order a book, you're sending yourself a gift in the future.

20:01You're going to forget. The only one, you and I are releasing books, the only people that remember the exact release day are us. That's true. And you're going to go to your doorstep on April 6th and you're going to go, what is this box on my front steps? And you're going to go, did somebody send me a gift? And you're going to open it and realize, oh, I sent myself that gift. So I would just say, go to soundtracksbook.com, get all the bonuses, check out the book. If you know somebody who overthinks, buy them a copy of the book. I think you're going to have a ton of fun reading this one. Boom, Fire Nation.

20:30Another value bomb that I'm going to be able to use now in my book promotional tour, which I get to say, hey, Fire Nation, You are sending yourself a gift for your future. And guess what? You deserve it because you do deserve it. So John, what is the one takeaway of everything that we've talked about here today? I mean, I've repeated a ton of the value that I got and I was writing down here, Johnny Twinkle Fingers. What do you want to make sure we walk away with from our conversation today? I want you to walk away knowing I get to choose my thoughts like that. I have the ability. Everyone has the ability.

21:02It's not special people. It's not that overthinking is a personality trait and you're just born with it. No, it's an action. So you get to choose. In the same way that I'd say bravery is a choice, not a feeling, we get to choose. And so you get to today, you can start making that choice and start seeing the difference it makes in your life when their thoughts are the thoughts you want to have, not the ones you think you're supposed to have. Fire Nation, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And you've been hanging out with JA and JLD today. So keep up that heat and head over to eofire.com.

21:36Type John in the search bar. His show notes page will pop right up with, by the way, all the other interviews that we've done over the years, and they're all value bombs. So you want to also head over to soundtracksbook.com to get those goodies and the bonus and to give yourself that gift in the future because you deserve it, Fire Nation. So John, thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation today. For that, we salute you and we'll catch you on the flip side. Thanks, buddy. Hey, Fire Nation. Today's value bomb content was brought to you by John and Fire Nation.

22:10Over the past decade, I've interviewed more than 3 ,000, I mean 3 ,000 of the world's most successful entrepreneurs and I've created a revolutionary 17-step roadmap to your financial freedom and fulfillment. I put it all into my first traditionally published book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success. This book is personally endorsed by Seth Godin and Gary Vaynerchuk. The Common Path to Uncommon Success is the step-by-step guidance you need to achieve lifestyle freedom and fulfillment. Visit UncommonSuccessBook.com to learn more and order your copy today. I'll catch you there and I'll catch you on the flip side.

22:48Sales Evangelist, hosted by my friend Donald Kelly, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Each week, Donald interviews the world's best sales experts, successful sellers, sales leaders, and entrepreneurs who share their strategies to succeed in sales right now. A recent episode you should definitely check out is the five ways to do daily outbound with LinkedIn. Listen to Sales Evangelist wherever you get your podcasts. Hostinger is among the top web hosting and website creation brands in the world. See for yourself. Head to hostinger.com slash onfire and use code onfire for an exclusive 10 % discount.

23:25That's hostinger.com slash onfire in the code onfire.