How to Use Your Nervousness to Your Advantage with Aaron Marcus

0:01Boom! Shake the room, Fire Nation. JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire. Brought to you by the HubSpot. podcast network, the audio destination for business professionals with great shows like Billion Dollar Moves. Today, we'll be breaking down how to use your nervousness to your advantage. To drop these value bombs, I brought Aaron Marcus into EO Fire Studios. Aaron has been a full-time actor for 39 years. He is an acting career coach and the author of How to Become a Successful Actor and Model. He is the creator of the YouTube channel, The Actor Career Center. And today, we'll be talking about using nervousness to our advantage, a physical technique to lower stress, a mental exercise to harness our energy, and so much more.

0:43And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Aaron and our sponsors. Hustle and Flowchart, hosted by Joe Feer, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Join Joe as he discusses systems, mindset tweaks, reframes, and strategies to help you build a business that gives you freedom and fuel for your life. A recent episode on using AI for effortless content creation is a must listen. Listen to Hustle & Flowchart wherever you get your podcasts. Want to meet me, JLD, in person? Attend Clay Clark's two-day interactive business workshop and meet me, Tim Tebow, and Clay Clark this June.

1:17Experience the highest-rated business workshop in America and hang out with me in person at thrivetimeshow.com slash eofire. Again, that's thrivetimeshow.com slash eofire. Learn more and request your tickets at thrivetimeshow.com slash eofire. Aaron, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. First of all, it's great to be here with you again, John. In the acting world, here's something that a lot of actors definitely get wrong and it will hurt their success. A lot of times actors feel that when they go to an audition or they're auditioning with a casting director and they don't get the job.

2:02And then they get invited back either for the same project or maybe a different project in the future. And they still don't get the job. And then they start getting angry and they start thinking that the casting director just doesn't like them. The casting director thinks that they're just wasting their time because they know, the casting director knows what the actor can do and they're never getting booked. Well, the reality is it's just the opposite. A casting director will not bring an actor back to read a second time unless they really liked what they did. And I always, in my workshops and private sessions, I always like to give real examples.

2:47So there was a show, many people probably never heard of it, but it was the first paid streaming show on Netflix that they actually put up the money for. And it was called House of Cards. I auditioned for that show 14 times over two years. I would get a callback sometimes. I would be put on hold. Never booked a role until the 15th audition. And that's when I booked a reoccurring role on the show. And I can tell you, sometimes the casting directors will bring you back and bring you back. And they're kind of waiting for a better part to come in for you because they really like what you do. So that's a really big misconception.

3:33And I think it really hurts actors when they start getting angry and frustrated with casting directors because they continue to audition with them and they don't get booked. But that's a great sign. Fire Nation, I think you can tell we're dealing with somebody who has been there, done that, has the experience. And that's why we're talking today about how to use your nervousness to your advantage. Because a lot of people will get nervous in those situations or in new situations, but there's opportunities that abound. And I would venture to say, Aaron, that most people think nervousness is a disadvantage, but you actually think we can use that to our advantage as the title would lead us to believe.

4:15So talk to us about how that is so. This really goes across all kinds of different jobs, certainly with actors going into an audition, or even if you're just auditioning at home, which is what most people are doing today, it still can be a nervous situation or you show up on the set. It can be a nervous situation. But this really is universal. And as a matter of fact, it's so generic in the world because, you know, no matter what kind of business you have, you're probably going to be feeling nervous in certain situations. And so when I'm giving talks and people are about to do a monologue and they talk about how they're nervous and then they're always told, you know, my friends or family members tell me, don't be nervous.

5:02I've heard you do it a million times and you sound great. Just get up there and do it. Well, you know what? That's always really easy for other people to say to you because they're not the ones getting up there and doing the show. But here's the deal. I feel just the opposite. I think it's good to feel nervous. Now, having said that, you don't want other people to see your nervousness. And nervousness comes out in different ways for different people in different kinds of situations. Some people begin to talk very quickly. Some people have physical manifestations and they actually start grasping their hands together, putting them behind their back.

5:48I've seen people almost hop a little bit, leaning on their toes and heels, and it's just so distracting. So don't try to squash your nervousness. Don't get rid of it because what I find is that when I am nervous. And I'll tell you, even though I've been doing this for almost 40 years as a full-time actor, there are certain jobs that still scare me. There are certain actors I might be working with that make me nervous. And I think it's just the opposite. I think it's actually good because when I am feeling nervous, I feel this energy flowing through my body. I can feel those synapses firing. the cortisol is is you know shooting through and what I find is it makes things more alive for me but here's here's the trick so you don't want to get rid of your nervousness but I highly recommend that you harness that energy and there are different ways that you can do that but I truly believe that it is a really good thing for people.

6:59As a matter of fact, just to kind of jump off on a little bit of a tangent, I once got hired, and it's funny, you never know where one thing might take you. I got hired by a big architectural firm in Washington, DC, because they knew that I did work with helping people relax, dealing with auditions and things like that. And they wanted me to talk to the architects and the salespeople as to how to give a better presentation when they are pitching clients. And I use the same theories for that as I would for an actor going into an audition. Fire Nation, there's a lot to work with here. And I want to kind of use this talk about nervousness to move into stress because there really are, Aaron, few people in this world who do not deal with stress every day.

7:49I mean, some people don't, but most people deal with it, at least on some level, every single day. So let's talk about a physical technique that will actually lower our stress. One of the things that I do, and look, I don't do this out in public. I'm going to go to a quiet, you know, whether it's a bathroom stall or I'll do it outside someplace before I walk in. But there are a lot of things in this world that I don't understand, but I know that they work. So that's how I'm going to preface this thing. I'm not sure how it does its thing on me, but here's what I will do. If I'm feeling nervous, I will close my eyes.

8:34I will take my left hand and put it over my belly button, take my right hand, put it over my heart, take a really deep breath. I breathe in as far as I can go through my nose, and then very slowly let it out through my mouth. And I'm counting down from eight, seven, and then go down. And when I finish doing that, I can't explain it, but I feel more comfortable. It doesn't kill all of that nervous energy, which I don't want it to do, but I feel it contains it in a much better way for me. And so, like I said, I wouldn't do this in front of a room full of actors who are ready to go in and audition.

9:25But it's really, it's an incredible physical technique that can be used. Once again, this is universal. It's not just for actors or for anybody who is feeling nervous before maybe giving a talk or having a meeting with somebody. But yeah, I'd love to have people try it out. And if you find it helpful, shoot me a note. I'd love to hear about it. Now there are processes for lowering stress like you just talked about and Fire Nation. That'd be really cool for you to share with Aaron if that was something that worked for you. But then there's something for harnessing energy because this can be important as well for reasons you kind of already touched upon.

10:06Now you actually have a mental exercise that will help us harness our energy the right way, the positive way. Let's go through this exercise. And it's a funny thing. This probably could have also been one of my topics at the very beginning. of something that a lot of people disagree with. And I feel like it holds them back from success. So let me first preface this by saying, I'm not a negative guy. I don't walk around saying the sky is falling, and I'm horrible, and nobody likes me, and I can't do anything. Look, I wouldn't have been able to make my living as an actor for decades if I didn't have some talent.

10:48Now, I don't think I'm the greatest actor in the world, but I do some things that are okay. And that's how I booked almost 1 ,300 jobs. But when I go into an audition, I truly never believe that I'm going to book the job. And once again, it's not me saying I stink and nobody likes. It's none of that. It's simply the realities of understanding how the industry works. People book jobs for all different kinds of reasons. And if you are granted an audition, chances are they know that you can act. They know that you are skilled. And most of the people who are going to be auditioning give great auditions.

11:36But what people have to understand is that decisions aren't just made on your acting skills. for actors going to an audition. It's not like the Olympics. It's not who does the best skating routine and the judges all give you tens. Everybody is going to give a good audition. And then it comes out and down to factors that we have absolutely no control over. You're too tall. You're not tall enough. You're too handsome. You're not beautiful enough. Your body's in too good of shape for this particular character. You're not in good enough shape. You're one of the kids and you don't really look like the parents who are the stars of this particular project.

12:21Now, I know that people use all different kinds of ideas when they're going into auditions. Some people like to manifest things. They're auditioning for a feature film and they see themselves walking down the red carpet. They are walking up onto the stage and they are giving an acceptance speech. Look, if that works for you, absolutely use it. I tried that and it was a disaster for me. It just felt, for me, it just felt very phony. It wasn't based on any kind of reality for me. So what I do instead of thinking I'm going to book the job, because once again, I don't believe I am. I'm not even thinking of that when I audition.

13:06I had an audition last night. Actually, I'm going to have one in about two hours. I'll be shooting in my home office. And my number one goal for every audition I have is to have a good time. That's my goal, not booking a job. I have no control over it. I have control over my audition, no control over decisions. And so I get a chance to play. I get a chance to take on another character for two minutes here or three minutes. that is fun for me. So that's my goal. And getting back to nervousness, that helps take some of the pressure off. And it takes some of the nervousness away because I'm not trying to book anything.

13:52I just want to have a good time. I love that mentality. And one thing that you learn pretty early on when you get deep into negotiation skills is the person that wants it the least usually wins. And the reality is, It's not like you're going to an audition wanting it the least. But if you just look at it, you know, like Aaron said, like, hey, let's have fun. This is my craft. Like, I'm going to give it my best. And there's so many factors that I can't control. There's some that I can and I'll maximize those. But there's a lot that I can't. And that's just going to be what it's going to be. And we have a lot more to talk about Fire Nation around this topic.

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16:30Become the next success story and request tickets to join Tim Tebow, myself, and Clay Clark at the June Business Conference today at thrivetimeshow.com slash eofire. There are lots of things you don't want to be as a parent. But one thing you definitely do want to be, the parent with life insurance. And right now you can get affordable life insurance online in minutes at ethoslife.com slash fire. Having life insurance gives you peace of mind. Knowing your loved ones will be supported if something ever happens to you. Think about all the things they'd worry about if you were gone. And with life insurance, you can help eliminate their stress around things like mortgage payments and other bills.

17:07Get same-day coverage in three easy steps. Again, Ethos makes it quick, easy, and it's all online. Just answer a few health questions and see your rate in minutes. No medical exam required. Term life policies start as low as$10 a month, and you can start your policy instantly. be the parent you want to be. Get up to 2 million in term life insurance coverage in 10 minutes with Ethos. Answer just a few health questions and get your free quote at ethoslife.com slash fire. That's ethoslife.com slash fire. So Aaron, this is the theme. This is the topic that we've been going back and forth about all around nervousness.

17:46And you actually believe being nervous is helpful. Let's even dive deeper than we have thus far about this specific statement. Once again, the key thing is you don't want people to see it. If you are exposing yourself and people can see the nervousness, they're probably not going to trust you. They're not going to hire you because they can't afford to take a risk in putting somebody in a very stressful situation, being on a set with hundreds of crew people, a tremendous amount of money on the line, and then having somebody freak out and not be able to handle things. So what you want to do is contain it.

18:29And, you know, when we were talking about before, as far as, you know, when you're going to the audition, you know, in some ways, it's very similar to going out on a blind date. And if you go out on a blind date and your goal is to marry this person, you haven't even met the person yet. The person's going to feel it. They're going to feel some of the stress and the anxiousness. You want to just go in there and enjoy yourself. If it works out great, if it doesn't work out great, you'll go out with, you know, with somebody else. And it's the same thing with an audition. If you don't, if you go in there and you're just presenting yourself as someone who wants to have a good time, that also allows the casting director to relax because they can sense and they can smell desperation a mile away.

19:21And once again, those aren't the people they want to work with. They want to work with people that they trust that do have that confident feeling of, yeah, let's just have a good time here. And I'm telling you, that is a very powerful way of going into an audition. So we've talked about a physical technique to lower stress. We've talked about a mental exercise to harness our energy. Let's bring it all together with what you consider the best way to prepare for an audition or an interview, if you're interviewing for something, that will actually do those things, that will lower our stress, that will harness our energy.

19:59What does that preparation look like? Walk us through an example. Sure. And that's a great question. So if somebody is, and this also will help, like you were saying, this will help with the stress if you are better prepared. So for, let's say a TV show that you're auditioning for, watch the show, know all the characters, understand, is this a comedy? What is the dialogue like? Are people more laid back? Are people cutting each other off? Is it fast paced? know the producers, the casting director. And as you know more about the project, you will feel more confident. And let's just say you're interviewing for a job.

20:46Well, once again, do your research. Find the person that you're going to be talking to. And Aaron, let me break in here because I actually found this very fascinating when I was watching the Friends reunion the other night. They were talking about Courtney Cox. and she was actually brought in to do an audition as Rachel because they thought that she would be a great Rachel just based off of some other things that they had seen. And instead of her just kind of blindly going in and doing that, she actually got a hold of the whole script, like read it all through, got to know all the characters. And she said, wait a second, I'm just not Rachel.

21:23And they're not going to see me as a Rachel once I audition. But man, I am definitely a Monica. like I can tell that I'm Monica inside and out so she went to our audition she's like hey I'm happy to audition for Rachel here but I'm telling you right now I'm your perfect Monica and they were kind of like oh well that's weird well okay audition for Rachel and they're like okay good and they're like okay before you leave like audition for for Monica as well and after she she left like the the casting the casting look he looked at each other and they were just like oh my god like she is totally Monica so she went from not even getting the job.

21:57Like she never would have got cast as Rachel to, you know, getting cast as what she knew was her perfect role as Monica. And, you know, the rest is history. That's a great story. And, you know, the other things too is, you know, if you're auditioning, forget about acting, you're auditioning for a job. Well, look up the person you're going to be auditioning, you're going to be meeting with, you know, do you have similar hobbies? Did you go to the same college? Did you grow up in the same city. You know, you can find things out about the person because for most interviews, it's not so much do you have the mental capabilities of handling this job.

22:38They probably wouldn't bring you in unless they saw your resume. And then it comes down to other factors. Are you somebody they want to work with? Are you somebody who's, you know, enjoyable to be around, someone that they can trust. And so, yes, being incredibly prepared. Now, for a film, it's a little bit more complicated. You can't watch the film before you audition for it. But what you can do is you can certainly do a lot of research on the director and you can go to a place like imdb.com, it's Internet Movie Database, and you will see a full listing of all the projects that the director has directed.

23:18And then you find clips and you can get a better sense of the style of the director. And once again, the more prepared you are, the more interesting your read's going to be, and the more confidence you're going to have at the audition itself. Fire Nation, I hope this is resonating with you because this is something that can literally impact the rest of your life because it can be a decision maker in what happens to you at a fork in the road of your life. And that can take you in a completely different direction in both a good way or an opportunity lost. So Aaron, we've talked a lot about a lot today.

23:59Nervousness to your advantage. That's what we've learned how to use the techniques, the actual processes, the exercises. is what is the one thing that you want to leave Fire Nation with today? No doesn't mean never. And I can't tell you how many people that I've spoken with who talked about, yeah, I start looking into doing some acting or maybe some modeling, and nobody really responded to me. And I just thought, well, I guess it's just not meant to be. And you have to understand that somebody might say no to you now, but it doesn't mean that they'll never say yes to you. So if there is something that interests you, no matter what your age is, sometimes people say, oh, I'm too old to get started.

24:46You're not too old to get started. If you were breathing, then you're young enough to get started in the industry. So if there's something that you feel passionate about, something that really intrigues you, get the information first. Make sure you are really equipped to try to enter whatever it is and go after it. So that way you're not going to have these nightmares of thinking, I wonder what if. Fire Nation, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. You've been hanging out with AM and JLD today, so keep up the heat. For links to everything we talked about, visit eofire.com, type Aaron, A-A-R-O-N in the search bar.

25:28The show notes page will pop right up. And Aaron, what is your call to action for our listeners today? If they want to connect with you, learn more about you, where do they go? Here's the simplest thing to do. And I'm going to, there are a couple of different links, but just go to howtomodel.com. It's all spelled out. There's a contact button. You can get to my YouTube channel. You can get to Instagram. Feel free to ask me any questions that you have about the industry. Just please mention the subject line that you heard me here on John's podcast, and I will certainly put it on the top of my list to get back in touch with you.

26:05But I'm more than happy to try to answer any questions that people have, because I know it's hard breaking into the industry. It was hard for me. So anything that I can do to make your journey a little bit easier, feel free to reach out to me. Aaron, thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation. For that, we salute your brother and we'll catch you on the flip side. Hey, Fire Nation, a huge thank you to our sponsors and Aaron for sponsoring today's episode. And Fire Nation's successful entrepreneurs accomplish big goals. That is why I created the Freedom Journal to guide you in accomplishing your number one goal in 100 days.

26:43And we're talking step by step. Visit thefreedomjournal.com and I will catch you there or on the flippity flip side. hustle and flowchart hosted by joe fear is brought to you by the hubspot podcast network the audio destination for business professionals join joe as he discusses systems mindset tweaks reframes and strategies to help you build a business that gives you freedom and fuel for your life a recent episode on using ai for effortless content creation is a must listen listen to hustle and flowchart wherever you get your podcasts want to meet me jld in person attend Clay Clark's two-day interactive business workshop and meet me, Tim Tebow, and Clay Clark this June.

27:22Experience the highest rated business workshop in America and hang out with me in person at thrivetimeshow.com slash EOfire. Again, that's thrivetimeshow.com slash EOfire. Learn more and request your tickets at thrivetimeshow.com slash EOfire.