How To WORK EVERY Room you Enter: A Timely Tuneup with Susan RoAne

0:01John Lee Dumas:Light that spark fire nation, JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire brought to you by High Level, the all-in-one sales and marketing platform. Today we'll be breaking down how to work every room you enter, a timely tune-up. To drop these value bombs, I brought Susan Roan into EO Fire Studios. Susan is the mingling maven and she's a legitimate best-selling author and speaker who has transformed the socially shy into the socially savvy. She's been featured on TV, radio, podcasts, and in national and international print media for four decades. And today, Fire Nation, we're talking about the five keys to perfection, the keys to clever conversation, how to effectively get into a conversation, how to get out of a conversation, and oh, so much more.

0:43John Lee Dumas:And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Susan and our sponsors. NetSuite is the number one AI cloud ERP trusted by over 43 ,000 businesses, bringing your financials, inventory, commerce, HR, and CRM into a single source of truth. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get their free business guide, Demystifying AI at netsuite.com slash fire. The guide is free to you at netsuite.com slash fire. If you are building a real business, you need real infrastructure. High Level gives you website hosting, funnels, email marketing, automation, calendar booking, payments, and course hosting all on one platform, plus award-winning 24-7 support.

1:21John Lee Dumas:Get a 30-day free trial and my full bonus stack that includes a a 15-minute private call with me and much more at highlevelfire.com, highlevelfire.com. Susan, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. Well, this was an easy one. Small talk. The people who can make small talk and talk about the little things that connect us, really connect with people and build relationships. But I discovered when I wrote my conversation, but the only people who denigrate small talk generally are the people who are not good at it.

2:03They look down at it. They berate it. They belittle it. And if I were to say anything to entrepreneurs on fire audience, it's okay to talk about little things because it leads to big things.

2:18John Lee Dumas:Well, I love that. And we're talking today, Fire Nation, about how to work every room you enter. And this is a timely tune-up. Now, Susan, there are five keys to perfect preparation. Break those down for us. Well, the first is your interesting self-introduction. And if I may add, I'd like to tell all of our audiences what's in your self-introduction. It's not a 30-second elevator speech, you shouldn't even give it in an elevator because no one wants to be locked in that small space with you talking. So here's the number one trait. It's seven to nine seconds. The self-introduction, it's a pleasantry.

3:02Seven to nine seconds. It includes why you're at whatever event or place you're at. And you do that to help other people figure out what to talk to you about. It gives them context. The third trait of the self-introduction, and I know you interviewed Patricia Fripp, my dear friend. Yes. She told me years ago. She calls me Roanne. Roanne, tell your audiences, don't give their job titles because every company has a different title for the jobs. Give them the benefit of what you do. So I followed it. I'd go to Vince and say, I turn people into mingling mavens. And people, what's that? And I go, well, I wrote How to Work a Room and being able to mingle.

3:49And what I've done by doing that is giving them the opportunity to invite me to speak. And then I can elaborate. But now I'm going to give the hint of how you prepare. And I want you to remember this, everyone in our audience. You only talk a little bit after you've been invited to share the benefit. And then you stop yourself and say these magic words. And what about you? And you're inviting them to speak, and then you're in a conversation. So that's the first thing you prepare. The second thing you prepare is prepare your attitude. I know it sounds very Pollyanna-ish, but please go everywhere in your life.

4:35And this is going to sound very substandard. But go everywhere in your life to have a good time. And good could mean good connections. Good could mean good use of your time. Good could mean that you have a smile on your face. If you walk around expecting to have a good time, not only will you, but other people will be drawn to you because we are drawn to the person who looks like they're having fun. Make sense?

5:07John Lee Dumas:Makes sense to me. Okay. Nobody goes over to someone in a room that looks like a sourpuss and says, oh, look, there's a sourpuss I want to eat. Why don't do that? another thing you prepare is you prepare actual conversation now i know this sounds very scripted that it really isn't how you prepare and this is going to sound old school well if you're all into ai ask ai to it to say and then edit it because a lot of it it's pablum but what you should do is read the headlines that your browser sends you. Look at an online, I still read several newspapers in print. Oh, nice. Know what's going on in your industry.

5:55Know what's going on in your profession, your country, your state, and your neighborhood. Because now that we have Nextdoor, our communities have expanded a little. But if you read, you'll be able to have conversation. So have at least three items. Now, I live in the San Francisco area, and I have decided that I am going to be a Valkyries fan. For those that don't know, Valkyries are the WNBA San Francisco team, and they're owned by the same that owns the Warriors. So they're called the Golden State Valkyries, because if you ask me why, why not? But also, between my time as a teacher and starting my business, I was a consultant for Title IX to make sure it was implemented in my state.

6:52Well, what better use of my Title IX time than to sit and cheer on a woman's basketball team, who, by the way, beat the Indiana Fever last night.

7:06John Lee Dumas:Ooh, that was Caitlin Clark's team, right? Yes. And I got tickets for the August 31st game that's here with the Indiana Fever. And I just want to point out to our audience, did you just see what John and I did? I said something, he commented, he had read it. Let's just say someone's not a sports fan and knows nothing. There are movies. I'm from Chicago originally. We could have an entire day's worth of discussion about deep dish pizza and don't you dare put ketchup on a hot dog. And I know people are going, well, that's kind of, I really need to get business. But you know what? when you have a conversation with someone about their dogs, their kids, you know, their favorite sport, their favorite team, their favorite book.

7:59Today, my former editor at Warner back in the day, we had a discussion about Zero Mostel, the late comedian who was in The Producers and a funny thing happened on the way to the forum, which, by the way, I only recommend if you want to laugh a whole lot. throw something out and when you throw out a topic in the midst of a sentence john a little phrase when someone responds you know you hit the connection the common bond

8:31John Lee Dumas:and would you like one more thing to prepare let's get that one more thing one more thing to prepare Practice smiling. There is so much going on in the world that makes me frown and say bad words. But any event you go to, if you walk in with a smile, and all my audiences when I speak have all proven this, when you walk in places with a smile on your face, you become approachable. Nobody goes over, as I said, to the person that looks like they have bunion problems. It's a smile. Because when that smile is so inviting that you will invite people to smile back and then you're connected. So prepare that smile.

9:25And here's the thing that I know. Some people think they're smiling, but what I see on their face is a scowl. So look in the mirror and work on the smile if you want people to feel comfortable with you. So those are my tips on how to prepare.

9:44John Lee Dumas:And Fire Nation, I always say you can feel the smile in your eyes. So until you're really feeling it in the eyes, it's not going to be a true smile. And I even sometimes take a one step further than that is I love to be smiling when I walk into a room. But then if I'm engaging with somebody, if they say something even slightly, and I mean the mildest of mildly funny, I laugh. Like a genuine belly laugh. And at first they're kind of surprised, but you know, you're being genuine. And then you'll see like a couple minutes later, they'll say something else a little funnier because like you almost just like gave them permission and courage to try to be a little funny.

10:24John Lee Dumas:And then you belly laugh again. And before you know it, this person's like a comedian going left and right. And they walk away from that conversation. They're like, I don't really know why, but I feel like I really like John. Like, he didn't really say much. He just kind of laughed, but he made me feel good. And that Maya Angelou quote is so true is that people will forget what you say. They'll forget what you do, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. And Fire Nation, Susan's going to make you feel pretty special when we get back from thanking our sponsors. If you've ever tried getting a traditional bank loan for your business, then you already know that it's not exactly fast or easy.

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12:42John Lee Dumas:If you want to stay ahead, not scramble to catch up, NetSuite is how you do it. If I needed a platform like this, NestSuite is what I would use. If your revenues are at least in the seven figures, get your free business guide, Demystifying AI at NestSuite.com slash fire. The guide is free to you at NestSuite.com slash fire. NestSuite.com slash fire. Fire Nation, if you are building a real business, you need real infrastructure. That is why High Level is Entrepreneur on Fire's featured partner. High Level gives you a website builder and hosting, funnels and landing pages, email marketing, appointment scheduling, payment processing, course and membership hosting, and so much more.

13:21John Lee Dumas:Everything you need to succeed all under one roof. No duct tape, no juggling five platforms, just one clean system for your business. And their award-winning 24-7 support has your back when you need it most. When you sign up at highlevelfire.com, you also get my exclusive bonus stack, a 30-day free trial, a private 15-minute call with me, JLD, access to my weekly live office hours, a digital copy of my book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success, my 50 Days to Something Execution Roadmap, and more. Visit highlevelfire.com and start building your something today. All right, Susan, I want to go on a little bang, bang, back to back right here because a lot of people have a hard time getting into a conversation.

14:06John Lee Dumas:Some people, my wife is actually very much like this following one. She has a very hard time getting out of a conversation, exiting gracefully, so to speak. She gets trapped in rooms. I'm like a butterfly. I go into a room, there's 15 people there. Within 10 minutes, I've spoken to 10 people and then I'm out. I'm able to kind of keep moving along and just kind of gracefully do that from person to person. My wife, she's a people pleaser. She just kind of gets into a conversation. She gets cornered. She doesn't know how to exit. She hasn't talked to one person all night. And then she kind of regrets it, not because that one person's a bad person, but because she wanted to have more conversations potentially.

14:41John Lee Dumas:So how can we A, effectively get into a conversation and then B, gracefully exit conversations? And I would add, I already like your wife. And I think the fact that she is a good listener is a great gift of a skill. That's number one. But the other thing about getting into conversations. Sometimes we walk into places and they can be in our social life as well as our business life. And we think people already know each other and we think they're in clicks and they're exclusive. So here's the tip. I call it breaking and entering. When you see a group, and this is the Susan Rowan tip, look for the most animated group that's laughing.

15:28Two people is hard, but if you three or more, and if that group is laughing, that's the group you want to be in anyway. So look for the animated group that's having a good time. Stand in the periphery. Do agreeable body language. And when someone looks your way or directs something to you, step forward. This is not the time to sell your stuff. Nobody gives a garn. This is the time to be amenable. You step in. And I have someone who is in a seminar of mine who gave me an even better idea. She was from very polite from Canada. And she, which she told me she does is she hovers. And then when invited to step in, she says these words, oh may I join you and she told me nobody ever said yes so she's then by silence she's invited and welcomed so stand in the periphery move forward and step in when something's directed your way now for our audience our entrepreneurs on fire audience here's an extra Susan Moran tip We all have peripheral vision.

16:49When you're in a group, in any situation, you can sense, if not see, that there are people on the outskirts. If you want to be memorable, take a step back, reset the circle, and you've included them. try it. It really, it creates people who think so highly of you because you have welcomed them and they remember you. As for getting out of a conversation, if any one of our listeners think that's an issue, let me tell you, after many decades of giving this as a talk, every single person said their number one issue was getting out of conversations because we were taught, don't be rude. Don't end a conversation.

17:40Don't leave it. So we don't want to hurt people's feelings. And that's a good thing. We shouldn't do that. But here's how you get out. There are three ways. One, if you've had a great conversation and you know that it's time to move on, not only for you, but for them, what you do is you put out your hand for a handshake, interrupt yourself. And by the way, if you are a little cautious about shaking hands, you don't have to do that. But you interrupt yourself, not them, and say, oh, you know, it was so great to talk to you about the impact of AI on medicine. I'm making that up. But what you've done is you've summarized what the conversation has been about in a phrase so they know you were listening.

18:25I've really enjoyed it. and if you some people don't carry cards anymore some people don't use a card sometimes they just exchange uh contact information this is a good time to say i i'd love to stay in touch to let you know about the next meeting of the ai ias whatever that is can we exchange information do you have a card if someone says no i don't carry cards oh what would be the best way to stay in touch with you ask them they'll tell you i just had someone do a riff because someone sent an evite via email when he only deals with texts i couldn't believe it i go it's called evite and the e stands for email I mean, so this way you're exiting and then the magic, you walk a quarter of the room away from the person.

19:25You don't turn your back because then it looks like you're turning your back. Walk a quarter of the room away, and this is the magic, to a person standing alone who would be happy to talk to someone, another group. but you don't need to say oh i have to go to the bathroom too too much information but you move away so that's one way i've enjoyed the conversation summarize let's exchange information move on what if you had a bad conversation and you're like sweating blood from your forehead and i've had those well you you never know that person may have found out that their child flunked, that the mother fell, that there's a bad medical diagnosis, that there's a job cutback.

20:20Give them grace. So what you do is you don't say, I've enjoyed talking to you because you have not. What you do is you say, get this, these are my best words. Oh, I hope you enjoy the rest of the event. said in an upbeat voice because the next time you see them, everything may be fine and they'll remember your kindness and your upbeat voice rather than that you were dismissive. But you still, maybe don't ask them for their contact information, but you still walk a quarter of the room away after you wish them a good event. By the way, I've had this, when I've done this in this speech. And there is always someone that comes up and does this on me.

21:09So it's so remarkable that they're such good students.

21:13John Lee Dumas:Oh, I love hearing those kinds of stories. And Susan, I want to end with a bang here because you actually have a super strategy. I want to give you time to break down because you believe that we should always act like the host. How the heck do we pull that off? This one's easy. And this came from Dr. Adele Sheely, who was the first person who started the Northridge University Career Center. She's one of the first local people that had a careers column. Dr. Sheely said, instead of going to an event and act like a guest, feed me, bring me a drink, amuse me, act like the host. Every single person listening knows a good host.

21:52What do they do? Well, they plan a good party. They have good food. Everyone always brings up they have a good drink. And here's the number one thing they do. They make you feel welcome, John, and they introduce you to other people, but in a way that you want to talk to other people. It's not, hey, Susan, meet John. It's, Susan, you will really enjoy talking to John. He is on fire all the time. And they say it in a voice of enthusiasm. we talk to children with enthusiasm oh wow you painted that and you're only in first grade and then we talk to each other oh wow that was quite a nice painting bring your childlike enthusiasm to the introductions you make and give people a kernel of information so that they can continue the conversation and you can go on be a good host and welcome others

22:55John Lee Dumas:Susan I love this strategy It truly is a super strategy as we're honestly, everything that you shared here today, I mean, it's so valuable. And at the end of the day, Fire Nation, this isn't rocket science. It's smile, laugh, be happy. Let people like know that you're glad to be around them, that you care, that you're listening, that you're paying attention, that you're part of the conversation, that they matter. Like how do you make them feel? That's so key. Susan, give us the final takeaway. way? What's one thing that you really want our listeners to get from our conversation today? How can our listeners connect with you?

23:31John Lee Dumas:What's your call to action there? And then we'll say goodbye. Okay. Well, first of all, I'm a former teacher, so I can't pull out one strategy. Please do everything I told you because the test is next week. You know what? Be nice. Be yourself. be pleasant be the person that your favorite grandparent thinks you are oh man that's good lock that in that's what I think and to get in touch with me easy I'm still on X but I'm on Blue Sky and all that and it's my name Susan Rowan S-U-S-A-N R-O-A-N-E also Susan at Susan Rowan frog jumped on my throat But if anyone in Fire Nation has a burning question, how's that for a pun?

24:27John Lee Dumas:Yeah. I'm going to give you a number, 415-461-3915. You can go old school and pick up the phone and call me and we'll iron this out. Fire Nation, that is so special when somebody gives you their phone number. I am just challenging 10 of you to take action. And if you're thinking about it, be one of those 10. Call that number. Make it happen. You can hit the rewind button right now for 30 seconds to get that number again. Give Susan a call. I promise you. She was a delight to talk to when I first interviewed her in 2014. She's a delight today in 2025. Have a conversation with her. you won't regret it because you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with you've been hanging out with sr and jld today so keep up the heat and for links to everything that we talked about visit eofire.com type susan in the search bar the show notes page will pop right up and susan thank you for sharing your truth your knowledge your value with fire nation today for that we salute you and we'll catch you on the flip side that was great thank you hey fire nation a Huge thank you to our sponsors and Susan for sponsoring today's episode and Fire Nation.

25:42John Lee Dumas:What can 4 ,000 of the world's most successful entrepreneurs teach you? How about how to achieve financial freedom and fulfillment? My first traditionally published book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success, is a revolutionary 17-step roadmap that will lead you to the lifestyle you've been dreaming about. This book took me 10 years of accumulating the genius of the world's top entrepreneurs, and you can get it all in one place when you visit UncommonSuccessBook.com. I'll catch you there or on the flip side.

26:37John Lee Dumas:hosting, funnels, email marketing, automation, calendar booking, payments, and course hosting all on one platform, plus award-winning 24-7 support. Get a 30-day free trial and my full bonus stack that includes a 15-minute private call with me and much more at highlevelfire.com. highlevelfire.com.