The #1 Success Secret to Stopping Self-Sabotage with Mia Hewett: An EOFire Classic from 2022

0:02Who's ready to rock today, Fire Nation? JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire, brought Brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals with great shows like Marketing Made Simple. Today we're pulling a classic episode from the archives and we'll be talking about the number one success secret to stopping self-sabotage. To drop these vibe bombs, I brought Mia Hewitt into EO Fire Studios. Mia has co-owned and operated multiple seven-figure businesses, is an international speaker, best-selling author, and a world-class business coach. In today's foundation, we'll talk about how the more awakened of an entrepreneur you become, the less of a life you fear.

0:36and to live your potential, you must see yourself being bigger and greater than all things physical in life and oh so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Mia and our sponsors. Success Story, hosted by Scott D. Clary, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Success Story features Q &A sessions with successful business leaders, keynote presentations, and conversations on sales, marketing, business, startups, and entrepreneurship. A recent episode discussing the billion dollar health secret with the founder and CEO of Whoop is a must listen.

1:11Listen to success story wherever you get your podcasts. I have a question for you, Fire Nation. Do you feel like your life is optimized or do you feel like you're leaving a lot in the table when it comes to health, wealth, and relationships? If you think you could use some personal guidance in optimizing your life, let me help. I've created a program called Optimize where I will personally work with you one-on-one to get to know you, your life, your goals, and your dreams. If you want to learn more about this program, visit eofire.com slash optimize. Mia, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with.

1:51I'm going to say what I feel about becoming most successful for me has been that most people will disagree with is I really owe it to the fact that I know exactly who my ego is and who my authentic self is. And most people would disagree with me that that is what has led to my success. Well, Fire Nation, we're going to talk about your success today because we're talking about the number one success secret to stopping self-sabotage. Now, a lot of entrepreneurs, Mia, they hit a wall. It just happens. I mean, even successful entrepreneurs, they feel like they're burning out at some point in their journey.

2:31So what's going on in this world? Yes, absolutely. It's such a great question. And so in order, like, it's something that I want to share that it's not what we think. Like, imagine that, like, if we can take us back that way, we were all born whole, perfect and complete, right? Not one baby is born with a self-esteem issue, not one. So then what happened to us? And so I'll have you consider that what happened to us is that no matter who we are, something happened that was traumatic for us. And it was traumatic for us that it broke our trust and left us feeling an immense amount of shame. This happens most often under the age of three.

3:17So it's really young, really young. And without knowing how to process our emotions, we actually take on those emotions and internalize them to mean that there must be something wrong with us. And this is what leaves us feeling all alone, abandoned, separate, like no one gets us. It's also how we disconnect or one feels like they disconnected from their authentic self as it ceases to exist psychologically. And then we go to our head trying to figure it all out as an attempt so that we never feel that way again. Does that make sense? It makes so much sense to me. And Fire Nation, I hope you're really taking in these words that Mia is talking about right now, putting yourself in that position and saying, you know, what happened?

4:09Or give yourself a little space. And one thing that, you know, is really interesting to me, and because I've seen this happen with, you know, all of my younger cousins and my nieces and nephews now that are a lot, lot younger than me, you know there was like there's a certain age where they just are dancing and they're singing at the top of their lungs and they're drawing everything and then like i see them you know a year later a few months later because i live in puerto rico so i don't see them often and man like this shift has happened and now like they won't sing out loud because they're embarrassed so they won't draw because they're not great or you know they won't dance because they're self-conscious like man what happens there this is exactly what i'm talking about that the world would disagree, like they'd have not caught up to what I'm saying.

4:52This is exactly it. Consider inside of every human being, there is a split that happens from that trauma, that broken trust, where we feel like there's a part of us that goes, I want to be seen, but now I fear being seen. I want to be accepted, but now I fear being rejected. So the real battle every human being is fighting is the battle right there where it will become the logical side versus the unconscious emotional side where we felt like our trust was broken. This is the number one reason we sabotage. I mean, Fire Nation, again, I really hope you're absorbing this conversation because this is something that can save you so many years of pain, of anxiety, of stress, and it's just not necessary.

5:42And there's something that I want to kind of ask you about because, you know, you're a very interesting person. You have some interesting thoughts and kind of contrarian in some ways, which is why, like, I love speaking with people like you because you believe that entrepreneurs, they can't just shift their mindset and they can't just work on quote unquote work life balance, which is just the easy answer that everybody goes for. Like it's the low hanging fruit, like, Oh, just work less and just live more or just shift your mindset and you'll be fine. Why do you believe that's not the answer? You know, I struggled with this, and anyone listening is going to know exactly what I'm talking about, right?

6:18Where this divide that we're talking about, where we feel like these two parts of ourselves, like I know that I'm meant to more, and I know that, but yet I don't feel like I can actually do it. It's what's happening, and the reason why we can't just shift the mindset or just reframe the mind is because all behaviors are emotional. They're not actually logical. And so we can't just shift and reframe our mind because unless we actually go and look at what is that emotional side of ourselves and really learn to process our emotions so that we can actually separate out, like we've never been taught that.

6:57Nobody's taught, nobody's teaching how to process their emotions, but we do. We teach you how to process your emotions because when you know how to process your emotions, what happens is your mind comes back on board. Does that make sense, John? Like you come into alignment within yourself. It really makes sense. And this is like a different way of looking at things. So is there like an example you can give of this? Oh my gosh. Yes. So many. Give me one thing that you think of is like something really big your audience always talks to you about. And I'll tell you like, does imposter syndrome come up?

7:28That was so you really took the words out of my mouth. I was just like, I get the so many emails and comments of, I just don't think that, you know, I am expert enough that I have knowledge enough that I'm the right person. Like who am I to do X, Y, or Z? So the imposter syndrome is huge. Exactly. Right. And the funniest thing of it all, we have to start here and I'm going to answer that question, but isn't it the funniest thing when we really think about it, that everyone we see as an expert was first unqualified when they started? Because in order to become an expert, you, you didn't know how to do it yet, right first, right?

8:07You it's in, you only become qualified as you do it. So it's really fascinating because we look at if, you know, I'm in the U S but if we look at all the institutions, we look at Harvard, Stanford, um, anything that is like a well-known institution, someone started it unqualified. Totally. Right. So we have to say that, but then, okay, so let's go into imposter syndrome. So imposter syndrome, the truth about imposter syndrome that no one talks about, It is simply the logical side of yourself. So the awareness that you have a desire for something, but an emotional belief that contradicts that. So powerful.

8:48Yeah, that's what's really happening. So that is the example of like the exact divide that I'm talking about. It's like, oh, I really want to be seen. I want to go out there. I know I have this desire to really, you know, live my dreams, go after like, you know, live being on my own terms. But yet there's this part of me that really feels like I'm incapable, which is that limiting belief. And here's the interesting thing about limiting beliefs, right? It's like, if I were to ask people, like, where is your, you know, if you have limiting beliefs, what limiting beliefs you have, they'll either say, well, I don't think I have a lot of people.

9:25have any or I don't know. And the reason that happens is because we don't experience a limiting belief in the moment that it's limiting. We experience a limiting belief as a fact, like we think it's just the way we are. But here's how you really find your limiting beliefs. Everywhere you are triggered, everywhere you have a resistance to something, or you think it shouldn't happen that way, where you have a judgment or a story or a meaning or something, any kind of resistance of some sort, any trigger, when you feel resistance, that is the gift. That is where your limiting belief is. You just have never gone deeper and processed it to separate out the truth from the lie of why that is not really true and found the limiting belief.

10:20Does that make sense? That's the blind spot. See, that makes sense. And Fire Nation, And this is exactly why you need to listen to people like me who have this outside of the box thinking because these could be ways, discussions, and thoughts you haven't been having before. And we're having more of these kind of discussions when we get back from thanking our sponsors. If you're a marketer, then you know what it's like to feel like you're moving in a hundred different directions at any given time, like you're spread too thin. Between creating content, launching campaigns, generating and nurturing leads, and more, You barely have a moment to breathe, let alone do your best marketing.

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11:33Visit hubspot.com slash marketers to learn more. We've managed a lot of projects here at EO Fire, and one of the most impressive pieces of software we've seen to help you keep your workflow tight is Notion. We first discovered Notion thanks to one of our sponsors, and it made it so easy to track talking points, due dates, deliverables, and more. Every time we had a question about the sponsorship, all we had to do was check Notion and all the details were laid out for us. It made the entire process simple and straightforward. That's because Notion combines your notes, docs, and projects into one space that's simple and beautifully designed.

12:06And now it has the power of AI built right inside of it, which means you don't have to jump between your work and a separate AI power tool to make magic happen. Notion AI helps you work faster, write better, and think bigger doing tasks that normally take you hours and just seconds. Try Notion for free when you go to notion.com slash John Lee Dumas. That's all lowercase letters, notion.com slash John Lee Dumas to try the powerful, easy to use Notion AI today. And when you use our link, you're supporting our show, notion.com slash John Lee Dumas. I have a question for you, Fire Nation. Do you feel like your life is optimized or do you feel like you're leaving a lot on the table when it comes to health, wealth, and relationships?

12:49After interviewing over 4 ,500 successful entrepreneurs, I have found that every one of them have optimized their life to a high level. In over 12 years of running a multi seven-figure a year business myself, while staying healthy and raising a wonderful family, I figured out how to optimize my life to an amazing level. It didn't happen automatically. There was a lot of struggles, but through mentorship from others and a lot of intentional work, I got there. And if you think you could use some personal guidance in optimizing your life, let me help. I've created a program called Optimize, where I will personally work with you one-on-one to get to know you, your life, your goals, and your dreams.

13:27Then over a three-month time frame, we will create a fully optimized life that will set you up for a lifetime of optimized health, wealth, and relationships based off your goals and your dreams. An optimized life does not happen automatically. It only happens through intentional work and guidance from someone who has reached that level that you are striving for. My goal is to turn you into a fully optimized human based off of your life goals. If you want to learn more about this program, visit eofire.com slash optimize. We'll jump on a call. We'll discuss the specifics of the program. And if we both feel to fit, we'll talk about next steps.

14:02eofire.com slash optimize. All right, Mia, we're back. And you have this phrase that I just simply love, meant for more. What does that mean? Yes. Oh, let's talk about that. And I'm sorry, I did forget to answer one of your questions. So I want to just make sure I answer it. You asked me about work-life balance. I just want to add one thing to that. So the lie in that is if you feel that balance, like riding a bike, requires you to be in constant motion. So the funny thing of it is, is that just, you know, the idea of work-life balance, I've never seen it the way that it's implied that way. What I would say to people is aim for harmony, meaning allow yourself to prioritize your business in the form of seasons.

14:51like one time you know like at one time you're moving in and out of different seasons so that you can always prioritize what is most important so let's say you're in a building your business building phase well yes your family might get a little less time of you in that phase but then make the time you spend with them really high quality so you're really really present when you're there so the thing i just wanted to make sure i mentioned on on work-life balance is there's no such thing as that. It's more about instead of creating separation, how can you bring this all into integration? So just wanted to say that.

15:33Didn't want to like skip over that. So you asked me a beautiful question on potent, you know, like as far as how, how is it that we become more meant for more or how does one actually become more? I love this question so much because this is about what everybody's searching for. How do you really live your potential? Like, how do you really become more? And so the answer is this, it's going to be contrarian as well. To live your potential, you actually must see yourself bigger, being bigger, greater than all things physical in life. Let me explain. So once we decide, okay, we're going to create our reality, we're going to create our reality deliberately, we have to, number one, we have to consciously accept that we're responsible.

16:24And I don't mean it like our parents where they used to be like, you better be responsible. That's not a negative. It's really about responsibility is the ability to respond, that you're going to decide that you're capable before you know how it's all going to work. So it's the decision that you're capable before you know how. The second step is then you're going to have to actively and deliberately choose everything that's happening in your life, right? There cannot be something that you are not choosing. Otherwise, you're a victim to it. So when you choose everything that's happening in life, and then number three, you learn to self-observe.

17:06this is where we what we teach is that inside of this is how to come up and out and really take a bird's eye view right if we were um as an example i'm going back to the u.s but if we were at ground level at the new york state you know empire state building we don't really have access to much we can't see anything but if we were to stay in the same location and just take it all the way to the top. Everything looks different. So when we learn to self-observe where we are from an outside perspective, right, what happens is then we interrupt our automatic programming, the conditioning from childhood.

17:46And then number four, we start looking lovingly from curiosity. And this is where the goods happen. This is where real potential happens. So potential happens, how we become more is in between, instead of going into an automatic reaction. So it's where we feel when we're going to want to react to something. And instead, it happens in the space between that reaction, and then our intention. So we go into an intention instead. And in that moment, we become inside of there. We become bigger than our circumstance. We become bigger than the situation. We become bigger than the judgment or the resistance or the limiting belief.

18:35And that is how we become more in every moment, every situation, every circumstance, and with any type of person. One thing I want to talk about right now is that the reality is that a lot of people are talking about trauma these days. I mean, it's a saturated market. There's a lot of trauma. Almost every person has experienced some form of trauma in their lives. I mean, I dealt with massive PTSD after my 13 months in Iraq when I was in the army and different areas and things. So what exactly is your niche? Like what makes you different from the crowd? Great question. So the first thing I would say is what makes me different is the original trauma that I'm speaking about is the original, the divide in ourselves between the authentic self and our protective self, our ego.

19:27So that's, that's really where I'm differentiating there. But then beyond that, what's different about us is we don't teach coping mechanisms. There's nothing we give you that is a coping mechanism. So that's amazing because most everything is just giving you ways to cope with things where we actually go to the root cause, which is where it all got created. And everything after that, every event after that, because once that split happens, what happens is it's kind of like you're cooked, so to speak, in the conditioning or the programming. And so from that day forward, every other negative event or situation or circumstance will become a bigger version of the same original trauma, just in a bigger way, if you will.

20:17Like it's like this, right? It just gets bigger. So what happens is when we go in and we actually help you heal that, it actually acts like a domino and everything else stops. It loses its attachment or its power over you or control over you. So they all start falling. So that would be like another big reason, like what's different about us. We also, the way that we do it, we do it in eight weeks or less. So how fast we do it, the combination of how, you know, my partner who's an empath and an expert in energy, and I'm a human potential expert, the combination of the two of us. So the speed, the combination, the fact that we don't teach coping mechanisms, and then we do it in the right order.

21:04So everything in life that is successful has a recipe. Like, you know, in the alphabet, ABC comes before X, Y, and Z. It's the same inside of anything in life. When you have the right recipe and you do it in the right order, it always works every single time. Fire Nation, I hope you're taking as many notes as I'm taking in this interview because there's so much to be learned from Mia because this is such an important topic for you, for your loved ones. So give us the one final takeaway, Mia, that you really want to make sure Fire Nation gets from everything that we talked about today. Give us a call to action after that about how we can connect with you, learn more from you, any call to action you might have, and then we'll say goodbye.

21:48Sure, absolutely. I would say the biggest thing that I want to leave everybody with is the more awakened of an entrepreneur you become, the less of life you fear. And then where you can reach me is you can go to my website and download for free my first three chapters of my book called Meant for More. I actually break it all down inside of that in a story way that you can find your own where this actually happened for you. So you can uncover it for yourself and set yourself free. And you can go there at www.miahewitt.com. Fire Nation, you're the average. Of the five people you spend the most time with, you've been hanging out with MH and JLD today, so keep up that heat.

22:34Head over to eofire.com. Just type Mia M-I-A in the search bar. Her show notes page will pop up with everything that we've talked about here today. And Mia, one more time, give us that call to action website. Mia, M-I-A Hewitt, H-E-W-E-T-T.com. Mia, thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation today. For that, we salute you and we'll catch you on the flip side. Thank you so much. Hey, Fire Nation. Today's value bomb content was brought to you by Mia and Fire Nation. Are you ready to rock your very own podcast? Check out our free podcasting course where I will teach you how to create and launch your podcast for free, freepodcastcourse.com.

23:15That's freepodcastcourse.com. I'll catch you there or I'll catch you on the flip side. Success Story hosted by Scott D. Clary is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Success Story features Q &A sessions with successful business leaders, keynote presentations, and conversations on sales, marketing, business startups, and entrepreneurship. A recent episode discussing the billion dollar health secret with the founder and CEO of Whoop is a must listen. Listen to success story wherever you get your podcasts. I have a question for you, Fire Nation.

23:50Do you feel like your life is optimized or do you feel like you're leaving a lot in the table when it comes to health, wealth, and relationships? If you think you could use some personal guidance in optimizing your life, let me help. I've created a program called Optimize where I will personally work with you one-on-one to get to know you, your life, your goals, and your dreams. If you want to learn more about this program, visit eofire.com slash optimize.