The Full Spirit Workout with Kate Eckman: An EOFire Classic from 2021

0:01Boom! Shake the room, Fire Nation. JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire. Brought to you by the HubSpot. Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals with great shows like The Product Boss. Today, we're pulling a classic episode from the archives and we'll be breaking down the Full Spirit Workout. To drop these value bombs, I brought Kate Ekman into EO Fire Studios. Kate is the author of Full Spirit Workout. She's a success coach for leaders in business and sports, an elite athlete, and performance and mindfulness experts. In today's foundation, we'll talk about training our emotional, mental, and attitudinal muscles to combat against emotional gravity like fear, stress, anxiety, and all that jazz, and how there's an inner battle that we all face from time to time, and we are guilty of falling asleep to the truth of who we are, Fire Nation.

0:46Plug into your truth and your inner wisdom, and we'll tell you how, and so much more. And a big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Kate and our sponsors. Hustle and Flowchart, hosted by Joe Feer, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Join Joe as he discusses systems, mindset tweaks, reframes, and strategies to help you build a business that gives you freedom and fuel for your life. A recent episode on using AI for effortless content creation is a must listen. Listen to Hustle and Flowchart wherever you get your podcasts.

1:18Kate, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. Yeah, first of all, hi to all of your beautiful audience members. It's a pleasure to connect with all of you and of course, John. And what comes to mind for me is that we need to spend more time sitting quietly in a room alone. That's inspired by Blaise Pascal's beautiful quote that all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. I think we need to become more practiced at listening. And I'm not talking about our ego mind that tells us we're not good enough and compares us to what John and Sally and Susie are doing and how we don't quite add up.

2:00I'm talking about that divine wisdom that is available to us at all times. We just have to download it like we would a computer file into our minds, into our hearts, into our bodies. Let it live there as the wisdom and the truth that it is. This is the divine intelligence that turns an acorn into an oak tree and an embryo into a baby, knowing and believing and trusting that this is always working for us behind the scenes, even when we're sleeping and we can tap into this at any time. And we just aren't practiced at listening. We're listening to all the nonsense and the noise and the distractions and the chaos of the world.

2:39And we aren't spending that quiet time alone, practicing the listening, practicing the art of doing nothing. Because when we do this, we become the men and women who can naturally attract our experiences, our opportunities, the relationships, the money. We don't have to strive or grit our teeth or force or try to control to make anything happen, we attract it more naturally. Does that make sense? I love all this. And the reason why it makes so much sense is because I used to struggle with this a lot. Like I struggled at one point in my life with being alone. And I just kind of always written it off by saying, Hey, I'm just a massive extrovert.

3:15I just love being around people. I love having conversations. I love interactions, but there was always something missing. And it really has been over this past decade of speaking to people who are just a lot more experienced, a lot more knowledgeable than me in the areas of spiritualism and meditation and journaling that I've really realized that there's a massive power and just calmness and satisfaction that comes with like really being able to and enjoying being by yourself. And Fire Nation, this is a skill that you can absolutely acquire if you currently don't have it. And there's a reason why Kate wrote the book, The Full Spirit Workout.

3:50So let's kind of talk about what exactly spiritual fitness is and even more specifically, how it can transform our lives. Absolutely. So just like we have to go to the gym and work out our physical muscles to combat against gravity and keep our muscles up, otherwise they're going down. We have to train our mental and emotional, our attitudinal muscles to combat against emotional gravity, like fear, stress, anxiety, COVID-19, comparison, judgment, anything that weighs us down. And spiritual fitness is about having the courage to show up like you mean it with that gusto and that presence, but also the courage to not just be that perfect put together person that we present to the world or to Instagram, but that messy, beautifully flawed person behind the scenes, just trying to keep it all together.

4:45He or she is beautiful and relatable, quite frankly, and authentic. So this is building a strong inner core and musculature so that we have the confidence and resilience to weather any storm. And Fire Nation, there will be storms. I mean, I do love that quote because it is so true is that winter is coming, but guess what? so isn't spring and summer and fall. And that's why you need to make sure that you're prepared for winter so you can thrive when spring, summer, and fall are in full bloom. And let's just be honest, Kate. So many people in this world, they struggle. They struggle with anxiety, with comparison, with fear, with judgment, with stress.

5:27Let's talk through how we can overcome these things, these struggles, these obstacles, these challenges that we all face as human beings. Yeah. And thank you for saying that because I think there's this myth or notion that if you look a certain way or achieve a certain level of success that you don't struggle. I think the quicker that we can own that struggling is part of the human experience, the sadness, the bad days. Let's normalize that experiencing something sad, it's appropriate that we are sad. And I think the more that we can just embrace our humanity and then come to terms with, okay, let's not dwell here.

6:05Let's not coddle our weaknesses or neuroses, but let's remember our strengths and spend some time identifying and then leveraging our strengths and our unique gifts. And that comes from having a purpose greater than ourselves. And I'll talk about this later in the five Ps of confidence, but you write a book, I'm sure you've heard this and everyone and their mother says, oh, I want to write a book. And I think, okay, great. Why do you want to write a book? And some of the reasons I hear, I think, oh gosh, they're going to have a really rough time or miserable experience because their why is in the externals like money or fame or notoriety.

6:41And there's nothing wrong with money or fame or notoriety. I love it as much as the next person, but that's not going to keep you going on the days when it gets really hard. So for me, my why in writing this book is Sam and Roth, the two men who I loved, who were dear friends and an ex-boyfriend that I lost to suicide in one year. And on the days when things are really tough for anything or for any reason, they keep me going. They are my why. Everyone who struggles with mental health is my why. And by the way, that's everybody. That's all of us. We all struggle with mental health in some way. Fire Nation, it is so true.

7:19In some way, shape or form, we are all struggling with mental health. I mean, I know that it was very obvious to me back in my 20s when I got back from my deployment to Iraq that I was dealing with forms of PTSD and depression. and then there's been some times that I've been, you know, just doing really well in life and had some great things happening for long periods of time, but I would still wake up some mornings being like, why do I feel like I'm in a funk? Why do I feel like I'm kind of out of it right now? Like everything seems to be so aligned, but the world's just not this cut and dry place.

7:50Like there's a lot that's going on in our bodies and our minds and our lives, both consciously and subconsciously. And Kate, you talked briefly about the five Ps and how we were going to get into these five Ps of confidence, take it away. Thank you. This is one of my favorite things to talk about. I conducted some pretty intense research while getting my master's degree at Columbia. And I love these because they're for free. You can access them anytime and then really build upon them. So the first is presence. And this is not just being present in the moment and shutting down the distractions and being all there with whoever is in front of you, even if it's just yourself.

8:29And, um, you know, a way to know if you're not present, I'm sure we've all experienced your pet or some kids you've been around call you out like, hello, why are you on your phone? What is cuter or more adorable than me? Hello. So I think just really committing to being present wherever you are and with whomever you're with and also presence showing up like you mean it and you've got something to say. And that's what the full spirit is. It's bringing your authentic truth and power to everything you do and everyone you meet. Let's go. You know, it's not quite midnight, but it's 1145. We all need to get it together and really start flexing our strengths and our inner confidence.

9:10The second P is patience. And patience actually stems from the Latin word for suffering. So no wonder we all struggle a bit with being patient because we're struggling while we're suffering while we wait for the thing that we really want. But a story I love to illustrate patience is 20 years ago, country singer Shelby Lynn won best new artists at the Grammys. And when she accepted her award, this is the only speech I've ever remembered. She said, best new artist. It's only taking me 13 years and six albums to get here. And I'll never, I'll never forget that because we all think she must be nice to be her.

9:51She just showed up last year. Oh, she's this new artist winning a Grammy, but really it had been so many years of the making and none of us saw all that behind the scenes chaos and setback and frustration and stress. So keep going, keep putting one foot in front of the other exercise, your surrender muscle and, and you'll, and you'll get there. Um, the next P is purpose. that's your why. So why is this important to you right now? And the days you can't show up for yourself, show up for your family, show up for your community, show up for a cause or organization greater than yourself. And that will keep you going.

10:25The next P is preparation. So when we are prepared, we build better habits that lead to improved behaviors that lead to increased results, better results. And that of course boosts our confidence. And the next P is practice. And you You know, this, I get this image of Tom Brady. He comes to mind. He and I were both big 10 athletes at the same time. You know, I was swimming at Penn State. He was playing football at Michigan. And, you know, he's still winning Super Bowls. And my knees hurt when I go to Pilates. So I bow down to Tom Brady and I say, Tom trains harder than anyone, practices more than anyone, not because he's the worst, but because he's the best.

11:06So your talent merits investment. You have to practice. The rewards will be worth it. And recently I've come up with two bonus piece that I'd love to share with you and your audience because I love you guys. And that is pause as in then that's what spiritual fitness is. It's about non-reactivity and stillness. So pausing, even though you really want to tell the jerk he's being a jerk, you really want to answer that upsetting email immediately and get your point across. but taking a pause, taking a breath, relaxing a bit in between those meetings, thinking about what you really want to say and don't betray yourself by, you know, perhaps saying something that could ruin a relationship or, or a business opportunity.

11:49And then the second bonus P is person as in be a person. And my speaking coach, Eduardo always says this to me, just be a freaking person. Meaning if you're anything like me, you're a bit obsessive. You are always striving for perfection or you're obsessed with performance. That's certainly been something I've had to overcome. And by just being a freaking person, it means we're being authentic. We're being relatable. We're, you know, showing our humanity and that's good enough. And that's what really bonds us with people and helps us connect more deeply with others. Fire Nation, that was a fire hose of peas really quickly.

12:29That was presence, patience, purpose. Why is this important? Like, why is this important to you? You're going to be asking these questions, preparation, practice, you know, Fire Nation, I love talking about putting in the reps, practice, and then those two bonuses, pause and person. And if you think Kate is even close to done dropping these value bonds, we're going to be talking about some really cool things when we get back from thanking and our sponsors. The amount of software required to run a growing business can be daunting. And how do you even know if you're using the right tools? There's help desk software, payment software, email marketing tools, blogging tools, SEO tools.

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14:51That's ethoslife.com slash fire. So Kate, I want to dive into your book, The Full Spirit Workout. How specifically does this book empower our listeners, Fire Nation, to accomplish their goals? We're giving you a game plan here. So we're not just blindly leading. This is about making intentional, deliberate, conscious choices every day. This system is directional. It's not linear. It is like going to the gym. Maybe today it's like, I've only got five minutes to stretch. Maybe the next day you're doing an hour of high intensity. It really is tuning into what you need. And, and I, I refer back to my book all the time.

15:33I think that's the other myth. Like, Oh, you wrote the book. You don't need it. And it's just like saying Tom Brady doesn't have to work out because he's won a Superbowl. So I think honoring ourselves by continuing to do the work, but I've made these exercises really fun, really interactive. all the feedback I've gotten is that they feel like it's their best friend talking to them and really guiding them through this. And I made it fun so that you actually wanted to do it and you would come back. A man said to me last week, you know, this is a life resource tool you can turn to again and again.

16:02And it has the real life experiences and stories. It has the journaling exercises, meditations, which are also available on my website to listen to. I do my coach Kate check-ins at the end of each step too, because I know not everyone can afford executive coaching, for instance. So asking you the really heartfelt, but gritty, tough questions to get underneath the hood of the car, really get clear about who you are, what you want, not what you, not what you just want, but what you really want. I think what we want is often based on societal standards. We don't even believe in what mom and dad want for us, what our friends are doing.

16:39this is I put as a writer, I put really an italic. So what do you really want and spending some time there and having the affirmations and the mantras. But this is really the exercise system you can turn to again and again. But like physical exercise, you can't just show up at the gym and your cute outfit and expect your trainer to do all the reps for you. You do have to do the pushups and sit ups, the spiritual sit ups by yourself. You have to put in the work, but it is so rewarding. And then you, you really are sharpening your sword and you're fine tuning your instruments so that your default setting is, is bringing in the success and the goals and the opportunities rather than looking for it on the outside.

17:22Because I'm sure you've experienced, John, you know, we get the thing, we get the shiny object, we get the money, the promotion, the house, the car, and we're super happy for 20 minutes. And then it's on to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. And that's what science says too. And all of my research is that all of the shiny objects and things that we think are going to make us happy actually don't move the needle for our wellbeing. What moves the needle are things like sleep, exercise, time affluence, social connection, acts of kindness and service. And my personal favorite, a gratitude visit that I write about in the book where you're thinking of someone, and I'd love everyone to do this right now, think of someone who has profoundly changed your life for the better, who you've never properly thanked, write that person a 300 word letter thanking them and expressing your appreciation, and then call them up and say, you want to visit, don't tell them why and read them the letter.

18:21And what happens when you do this is that you cry, the other person cries, you have this deep lifetime bond and your wellbeing meter skyrockets, not just that day, but for weeks and months and years to come. You are so right, though, about the progressive realization of goals and the fact that when you do achieve that goal, you're not just like, okay, like my life is now just sipping margaritas by the pool. It's like, what is that next thing? You may enjoy that for 20 minutes, some people 20 days, whatever that might be. But there is that quote by Earl Nightingale, which I so believe in, which is success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.

19:00And if you think about that, he didn't say success is the realization of a worthy goal or ideal. It's the progressive realization, meaning it's the progress you're making towards achieving that worthy goal or ideal. It's the journey itself, not the destination. And you also mentioned Tom Brady a few times. I mean, I've been a New England Patriots fan for life. So six of his seven Super Bowl rings in a Pats uniform, which of course I love. And I was definitely rooting for him as a Tampa Bay. QB for sure. And you yourself had a 17 year competitive swimming career. So how did that specifically help shape this book, the full spirit workout?

19:41Yeah, I mean, athletics were my life. And I knew how hard I had to train my physical muscles to compete at a high level for so many years. And I thought there must be a way to train these inner muscles because, you know, I was experiencing the material success and I was had a forward facing career in New York City and had all the bells and whistles of a life that I should have felt really, really complete and fulfilled and, and it should have been meaningful and it wasn't. And I talked very openly about my struggles and a dark moment and a Twain Reed pharmacy across from Penn station where I contemplated, you know, taking pills because I was in so much pain following the death of my beloved to suicide.

20:22And I had to get really clear in that moment and to call it a wake up call is, is, you know, such an understatement, but it is that those moments where we decide who do I really want to be and what am I going to do about this? And for me, it wasn't just getting by or having a so, so life. I thought I really, really want to come up with these tools and these keys and, and the swimming career certainly gave me the discipline and the drive. I knew what it meant to be a great teammate and really show up and show up earlier on time that my swim coach really ingrained in me, but it also gave me that spirit of excellence and that, you know, life isn't always going to be easy.

21:02And sometimes you don't want to show up. You don't want to put in the work, you're tired. And so take a break, but then really come back. And for me, this book is so much bigger than myself. It really is about giving people the tools and the keys to a better way of living. And I'm right there with you. I don't pretend that, you know, I'm the enlightened Buddha on the mountain who doesn't still have to do the work. But I think having this connection with others and building this community, and I just can't even imagine how fantastic the world will be and how elevated it will be when we are all working on getting fit on the inside and sharing this practice and this relief and this strength and confidence, the genuine confidence that can't be taken away with everyone around us.

21:46I love all of this. And Fire Nation, this is why you need to fall in love with the idea of getting a full spirit workout in your life. So give us one value bomb, the one big takeaway that you want to make sure our listeners get from everything that we're talking about here today. Then give us your final call to action, and then we'll say goodbye. What comes to mind, I'm trying, I'm feeling a little emotional, and I think it's because I see how much everyone is struggling. Even people who look like they're not, there's some inner battles that, that we all face from time to time. And I think we were all guilty of falling asleep to the truth of who we are.

22:25And so I just would like to kindly, but very fiercely remind you how powerful you are and that you can do anything, absolutely anything that you decide is important enough. So what's up, what matters, you know, we are reaching midnight, like I said, but, um, we're not in full crisis mode yet, but we need your gifts. We need your strengths. I I believe in you. And I think you believe in yourself too. You've just forgotten because you're subscribed and plugged into a really sick society. So unplug from that, plug into your truth and your inner wisdom and let's go. I really am excited to see what everyone accomplishes, not just in the external world, but the accomplishment of getting to know and love yourself and create that unbreakable, unshakable, full-bodied confidence.

23:14Let's go Fire Nation. And where do you want Fire Nation to go to learn more about this book, to get any added value you may have along with this? Break it down for us. Sure, so go to Kate Ekman, that's K-A-T-E-E-C-K-M-A-N.TV, like the tube that you watch. You can go to thefullspiritworkout.com for more information on the book. You can buy it there or any place that books are sold. Bookstores are online. and there's the free book meditations on my website. So that will really take you on a journey. I mix them with high frequencies to really help you connect more deeply with yourself. And it's really just an uplifting community and a place where we're not in comparison or judgment.

23:57We really are in a place of collaboration and community. Fire Nation, you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And you've been hanging out with KE and JLD today. So keep up that heat. If you head over to eofire.com and just type Kate, K-A-T-E in the search bar. Her show notes page will pop up with everything we've talked about today. Best show notes in the biz. And of course, head over to thefullspiritworkout.com to learn more about what we've been talking about here today and to pick up your copy of Kate's great book. And Kate, thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with Fire Nation today.

24:34For that, we salute you and we'll catch you on the flip side. Thank you so much. Be well, my friend. Hey, Fire Nation. Today's value bomb content was brought to you by Kate and Fire Nation. What can 3 ,000 of the world's most successful entrepreneurs teach you? How about how to achieve financial freedom and fulfillment? My first traditionally published book, The Common Path to Uncommon Success is a revolutionary 17-step roadmap that will lead you, guide you to the lifestyle that you've been dreaming of. This book took me 10 years of accumulating the genius of the world's top entrepreneurs and you can get it all in one place when you visit UncommonSuccessBook.com.

25:14I will catch you there or I'll catch you on the flip side. Hustle and Flowchart, hosted by Joe Feer, is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Join Joe as he discusses systems, mindset tweaks, reframes, and strategies to help you build a business that gives you freedom and fuel for your life. A recent episode on using AI for effortless content creation is a must listen. Listen to Hustle and Flowchart wherever you get your podcasts.