The ONE Question You MUST Ask Yourself Today with Jenna Kutcher: An EOFire Classic from 2022

0:01Boom! Shake the room, Fire Nation. JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs on Fire. brought to you by High Level, the all-in-one sales and marketing platform. On today's classic episode, we'll be breaking down the one question you must ask yourself today. To drop these value bombs, I brought to Jenna Kuchar into EO Fire Studios. She is the author of How Are You Really and host of the Goal Digger podcast. Jenna is a born and raised Minnesota wife, mother, and entrepreneur who aims for two things daily, helping others wake up to life and staying in comfy pants. And today we talk about how to set goals based on how you want to feel, even if they aren't measurable.

0:35Make self-check-ins a habit. Success can be moving through life with ease, excitement, and energy, and oh, so much more. And the big thank you for sponsoring today's episode goes to Jenna and our sponsors. Fire Nation, are you ready to make 2026 your best year yet? I believe it's time to start your transformation by attending the world's highest rated business growth workshop taught personally by Clay Clark and featuring football star and entrepreneur Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump, at thrivetimeshow.com slash EOFire. Again, request life-changing tickets today at thrivetimeshow.com slash EO Fire.

1:09Are you ready for the ultimate all-in-one platform for entrepreneurs, marketers, coaches, and agencies? Build funnels, automate follow-ups, manage clients, and even white-label your own software. Say hello to our featured partner, High Level, and visit highlevelfire.com to start your free trial today. Jenna, say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with. Okay. So first off, I have been an audience member of Fire Nation for years. So this is a dream come true. So let's not belittle that fact because people would totally agree that this is an incredible opportunity.

1:55So one thing that people often disagree with is that when I set goals. I don't always use the whole SMART framework. Instead, I really set goals around how I want something to feel, which isn't always quantifiable, but it is real. And so when I think about like, what does success look like? I reframe it and say, what should success feel like when I achieve something? And that's kind of how I move through life and entrepreneurship these days. So Fire Nation, first off, you can just tell what a generous giving soul Jenna is by sharing that at the top of the show. Number two, you can already tell what kind of value bomb she'll be dropping the rest of this episode.

2:37So tune in because this is going to be quick and sweet. This is going to be an episode where it is going bang, bang, boom. But Jen, I want to say thanks for those kind words. It's been great getting to know you and Drew over the past couple of years at our Tony Robbins event. I know myself and Kate have always looked up to and admired what you two have created, you know, having kids and still doing what you do. So the gratitude goes both ways as far as trailblazing. So I appreciate that. But as I mentioned, Fire Nation, we're talking about the one question you must ask yourself today. And I want to start off Jenna by saying for years now, you've been one of the top business and marketing educators, not in America, in the world.

3:17So why did you decide not to lean on that authority and influence that you've built up and just write a business book like most people were probably expecting? Yeah. You know, it's so funny, John. So the first time I wrote a manuscript and a draft, I did it without a book agent or a deal or a deadline for me. And like as a creative, like I consider myself like an artist in a sense, as an artist, I was like, if I'm going to write a book, I want to do it without a deadline, without money. I want to write words that tell, not words that sell. And so the first version of my book was in fact a business book.

3:54And what's really fascinating is that when I went through the formal process of publishing, my agent picked out chapters that had nothing to do with business. Because even when it was a business book, I was writing about things like body image and identity and wanting to do more than just one thing and being multi-passionate. But essentially, I took my photography career and widened the lens of the message and recognize that the mission was so much more beyond just entrepreneurship. It was really this philosophy of how to move through life and actually enjoy it and how to come home to yourself.

4:28And so what was really fun about it is I love business and strategy, but entrepreneurship isn't for everyone. And we know that, right? We watched cycles of entrepreneurship be born and cycles of entrepreneurs be not in existence any longer. And so for me, entrepreneurship has been the vehicle of that life. But this philosophy isn't necessarily only reserved for entrepreneurs. It will serve entrepreneurs, but it can be widened beyond that. Fire Nation, it's only beginning and it's going to get deeper and more powerful, specifically right now, because I've always believed in the sad but true truism, Jenna, that so many people are living quiet lives of desperation.

5:12And you actually believe that most humans don't spend the necessary time to confront that scary little feeling that frankly, they're just unhappy with their life. Can you talk about this concept? Yeah. You know, it's funny. There's a chapter in my book called my soul Shavasana. And if you've ever done yoga, you know, at the very end, you're invited to just lay on a mat and be still. And I used to talk about how, when I would go to a yoga class, I would check off exercise off of my box and I couldn't, I just couldn't lay there. Like if it wouldn't have been rude, I would have just gotten up and gotten on with my day.

5:46And I think as entrepreneurs, we have these obsessive tendencies, which are incredible. It's our passion being lived out. It's so exciting. We're obsessed. We want to create results. We get to work and we create these lives where we're constantly running, where our worth is measured by our output. And what's really fascinating is a lot of us are high achievers. I know for myself, I convince myself I'm not capable of getting quiet with myself. I just operate at a higher level. I don't require rest. Rest means quitting and I'm not a quitter. And the reality is, is a lot of times we take those obsessive tendencies and we get out of alignment in our life.

6:24We build these lives where we're not actually enjoying them. In fact, we're faking them. They might look good, but they don't feel good to be lived in. And we use gratitude as this way of staying stuck. We say, you know, I should be thankful. I should be thankful. Something's wrong with me that I'm not happy. Maybe I just need more. But in reality, maybe you're just not going after the right things or in a way that makes sense for you. And so there's really this invitation because I think all of us have this deeper knowing, this intuition, this gut game happening in our lives. And we just ignore it because we're taking on all of this advice and this noise from the world.

7:01And so I really want to invite people like check in with yourself. It's like when your Apple Watch pings and it's like reminder to breathe and you've been breathing, but you haven't really taken a deep breath. And I think that's how we've been moving through life, especially as entrepreneurs. Fire Nation, if you think Jen is even close to done dropping value bombs, you get another think coming. We'll be right back after thanking our sponsors. Let's talk about that level up mindset. You know, the one you need to take your business from comfortable to next level. Amazing. In this stage, the basic stuff matters, like how you communicate with customers, which is why today's episode is sponsored by Quo, spelled Q-U-O, the modern alternative to run your business communications.

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9:24Become the next success story. Schedule a free consultation and request tickets to join football star and entrepreneur Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump at Clay Clark's next business conference today at thrivetimeshow.com slash eofire. Okay, let's talk about a platform that's completely changing how entrepreneurs are running their business and they are also our featured partner high level. If you're an entrepreneur, coach, agency, or course creator looking to grow faster and smarter. High Level is the all-in-one platform that replaces your entire tech stack. Seriously, think ClickFunnels, Calendly, MailChimp, Kajabi, and even your CRM all rolled up into one powerful white label solution.

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10:36Seriously, every question that pops up, they will have your answer waiting. And if you visit my special partnership link, you'll get a free trial. So visit highlevelfire.com to start your free trial and see why thousands of businesses are switching. That's highlevelfire.com where marketing, sales, and automation finally come together. High level, join the revolution. So one of the many things that I love about you, and I actually experienced this in person multiple times at the masterminds we were able to do at the different events that we've been at together, you're a very intentional person.

11:12You're willing to hold a mirror up to other people, like not just yourself. Like you do it for yourself, of course, but for other people as well, which, you know, that kind of truth, that kind of realism, like everybody's kind of tiptoeing around each other most of the time, but it's so real. It's so helpful. It's helped me multiple times. And you're really like that in every facet of your life. And with this book project that you've been working on, it's no different. So can you share the story of how your book, How Are You Really, how did that come into existence? Yeah, it's so crazy, John. So during the pandemic, we lived up in northern, northern, northern Minnesota.

11:52So a town of 1200, two and a half hours away from a McDonald's or Target in this desolate town. And it was my husband and my, it was our 10 year anniversary or wedding anniversary. And I booked us these massages and I promise this is getting to the point. And I book us these massages and I show up to this place called Lute Zen and I go in there and the woman who is doing my massage says, hi, I'm Thea. I'm an intuitive healer. And I had no idea what that meant, but I just laid down on the table, got my rub down. And afterwards she said, can I tell you what came up for you today? And I'm very open-minded.

12:29So I'm like, sure, tell me what happened? And she said, there's something in your life that you need to do and you know what it is, but you're avoiding it. And the minute she said that, I knew it was a book. And it's crazy because I want your listeners to pay attention to this line and I want for them to even just close their eyes and to think with me here. There is something in your life that you need to do and you are not doing it and you know what it is and I need you to go do it. And it was funny because I went home for my massage that day and Drew said, how was your massage? And I said, I'm going to write a book.

12:59And he's like, I am so confused how a masseuse or sorry, how a massage therapist told you that you need to write a book. And what's really fascinating to me is as someone who is highly confident, who's a big achiever, it was almost like I needed somebody to just remind me that there are things in our lives that we know we need to do that we're avoiding. And that night, I opened up a Google Doc and I started typing. And it was really just this tiny dose of permission and this reminder of like, hey, there are other things in your life that you've wanted to do or wanted to try. And when the time is right, man, it's a difference between force and flow.

13:37And everything about this book and even launching this book has just been the state of flow. And I think you can feel it. And so much of our life is like backed up by force. And so I just want your listeners to think today, if there's something in their life that they need to do and they're avoiding it, I want for them to think about like, how can you start taking tiny action? How can you open up that Google Doc? How can you file for that LLC? How can you start creating that product? Because it can totally change the trajectory of everything, including your life. From the moment I saw the title, I was like, I resonate with that.

14:11Because, you know, every interaction you have with people, it's like, oh, so how are you doing? Oh, I'm great. How are you? Like, it's so automatic. Like, I'm great. I'm fine. Everything's good, blah, blah, blah. That's just kind of the facade that we all have to put on. And, you know, the reality is we don't get to truth very often. I mean, I can tell you firsthand, Janet, like, you know this, I launched Entrepreneurs on Fire in 2012. I've interviewed over 3 ,600 entrepreneurs over the past decade. And I interviewed people who like in 2013, 15, 17, like whenever the time was, and I had a whole conversation with them about how awesome their life was, about how awesome their business was.

14:45It was all sunshine and roses. But then guess what? I'd have them on for round too and like 16, 18, 20, whatever it might be. And they would go back. They'd be like, yeah, man, like last time I was on your show, I was in a dark place. Like my business was struggling. I was unhappy. I was depressed. And I'm like, wait a second. That is so the opposite of what you were sharing with me, with my audience, with the world. And that kind of sucks because you're in a sense, it's like false advertising. You're leading people down the wrong path. You're saying your life is amazing because I'm doing X, Y, and Z in business and life.

15:19But those things are actually making you unhappy, sad, unfulfilled, depressed, all these different things. So let's be frank, inner peace. It's a tricky concept these days. So can you share what it means to truly have peace? Yes. Oh my gosh, John, I could not relate with what you just said more. And here's what's so fascinating to me too, is like when people do that, then I'm like, how do I trust you now? How do I trust what you're saying is true? And I think so many people are literally moving through life so out of alignment that they don't recognize the dichotomy of like presenting one person and being one person behind closed doors.

15:57And it's like, how do you feel about yourself when you're with yourself? That's peace to me. And for me, like if somebody asked me today, like, how do you define success? It is literally moving through life with ease, with excitement, with peace, with energy, with vibrance and being excited about what you're about to do today. How you spend your days is how you spend your life. And for me, and here's where I want to encourage people is that we live in a culture these days. And why I think what you just said happens so often is because we want to show the highlight reel. Our lives have become these peer review journals where you're invited to show the best version of yourselves, right?

16:36But for me, I have recognized this one thing that shifted everything for me. We lost a very, very close friend in a car accident years ago. And I remember when he passed away, I remember going to social media and just looking at everything he had ever posted. And I'm sure when he was posting that funny meme or that silly tweet, he didn't think that that would be his legacy. But what we share online is not just a highlight reel. It should be our real lives. It should be our legacy. We don't have scrapbooks anymore, right? Like we don't create and do that in the way that past generations did. And so I recognize that like, I want when my Facebook memories pop up, I want to remember that that was that real moment.

17:17That was what my life felt like. That was how I was moving through it. And we are so obsessed with showing up as these perfect versions that we're missing these opportunities to connect with people through our imperfections, through the messy middles, through the insecurities. And so peace to me is really saying, I am here right now. I am present. I am awake to my life, the good, the bad, the ugly. I am feeling my feelings, but I'm moving through my life with this ease, without this level of force. And I feel like when you do that, it invites people on the journey with you. It is so much more inspirational, but it is also so much more sustainable for you in the pursuit of your dreams.

17:56I love your quotes. What we share should not be a highlight real, but our real lives. Think about that, Fire Nation. Now, Jenna, as we start to come to a close here, you're busy. You're an energetic, high-achieving entrepreneur, not to mention a mom of two who runs 5Ks and marathons. How does peace have a place in your life? Yeah. You know, it's funny, because I was thinking about this the other day. My life has never been busier, right? but in the busyness it's not lost and the other day I was washing the dishes and I just took a moment to like breathe and for me like breath has just been this like constant like connection I've been learning a lot about like our nervous systems and even just like fight or flight responses and how our environment impacts how we move through our days and I want to just invite you right now if you're listening to this, to just like take a deep breath, like a full, fill your belly breath and like feel yourself, like feel being held by the earth right now.

18:59And for me, peace and moving through that is these little tiny moments in my life. It's crossing the threshold and walking into a room and saying, I am here right now. It is sitting down at my laptop and saying, I'm here right now. I am present because when you are awake to your life, you don't miss it. You're not waiting for someday, you are literally awake to the moment. And so invite peace in, even if it's just for a moment or a breath. But as you start to do that, you constantly come back to yourself. And the final thing I want to say is, when you start to ask yourself, how are you really?

19:33How am I really? Am I really enjoying my life? Or am I faking it? Am I really showing up as the best version of myself? Am I really deserving of going after my dreams? It becomes this part of your life where you become addicted to checking in with yourself. It's not just this one and done, it's this practice, this philosophy. And I really think that if you want more peace and ease in your life, that is the first place you have to start. Fire Nation, I promise Jenna and I do not collaborate. But one thing I do every January, Jenna, is I pick a word of the year. And my word this year in January, I chose it and I announced it on our income reports was breathe.

20:08And actually one of you, Fire Nation, one of my listeners sent me a custom crafted sign with that word on it. And it's now hanging in my office right now. I'm looking at it. It's pretty cool. And I think that is so important, so powerful. And one thing that I've actually taken up over the past couple of years is I got a cold plunge. And I'll tell you, you need to practice breathing in a cold plunge. Otherwise, you're just not going to be able to stay in that thing. So I have really taken what I've utilized within the cold plunge of my breathing exercises and the Wim Hof exercises and taking it also outside of that to real life.

20:41So powerful stuff on so many levels. And Jenna, I just want to have you answer the question for Fire Nation, who I know is with pen and paper, write it right down, whatever call to action this is. How can we get our hands on this book? How are you really? You can head to howareyoureallybook.com. We have links to all of the places, Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, your local indie bookstore, wherever you're looking. you can search how are you really anywhere or head to jennacutcher.com and before we sign off I will not let your editors edit this out John you have so many incredible guests you create so much content and I just want your listeners to know that while he makes this look easy the work that John Lee Dumas does is anything but and I just want to acknowledge this show and the way that it shows up in other people's lives and the work that you do because I don't think people do that enough.

21:39My mom always says, we don't ever recognize the ripple effects of our work. And I just want you to know that your ripple is me being here right here today because I've been a listener of your show for so long. And I just want to say thank you for all the work that you do in the way that you do it. So I just had to say that before I left. I received that, Jenna and Fire Nation. You can just see the kind of person that Jenna is to share something like that. And you, Fire Nation, are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And hello, you've been hanging out with JK and JLD today, so keep up that heat.

22:10Head over to eofire.com, type Jenna in the search bar. The show notes page will pop up with all the links you need. Howareyoureallybook.com is your direct call to action. Jenna, thank you for sharing your truth, your freedom, your life, your words with Fire Nation today. For that, we salute you and we will catch you on the flip side. You're amazing. Hey, Fire Nation. Today's value bomb content was brought to you by Jenna and Fire Nation. Successful entrepreneurs accomplish big goals. That's why I created the Freedom Journal to guide you in accomplishing your number one goal in 100 days. And we're talking step by step.

22:49So visit thefreedomjournal.com and I'll catch you there or I'll catch you on the flip side. Fire Nation, are you ready to make 2026 your best year yet? I believe it's time to start your transformation by attending the world's highest rated business growth workshop taught personally by Clay Clark and featuring football star and entrepreneur Tim Tebow and President Trump's son, Eric Trump at Thrivetimeshow.com slash EO Fire. Again, request life changing tickets today at Thrivetimeshow.com slash EO Fire. Are you ready for the ultimate all in one platform for entrepreneurs, marketers, coaches and agencies?

23:26build funnels, automate follow-ups, manage clients, and even white label your own software, say hello to our featured partner, High Level, and visit highlevelfire.com to start your free trial today.