HELLO TEFI

24:09I started making money off this when I was 31. Yeah, we got lucky. And you said something really smart about Somber, like, please don't get too famous right now, because you do see people that you just get, you're stuck as that person, that you, your most famous time. And then you don't leave that. Yeah, Britney Spears will always be 16. And I love her so much. I also think that... I think it's why Taylor Swift always wears the red lip and has the bangs. And the cat eye. And the cat eye. I cannot trust someone in my inner, inner world If you've never been worried about how you're going to pay your rent.

24:41If you've never been like doing the subtractions on the train. It's really, you know, what's funny to me is that I don't even, I don't even want to get into it. What's funny to me is that there's. You're internet traumatized. Yeah. I also don't want to say anything bad about anybody, but I'm shocked at how many women only show well on Instagram. And that's totally fine. I know. were for me I'm like I never want to brag or I don't want to look boastful or I feel like people only like me when I'm struggling like sometimes I used to feel like that too they only like you because if you see a girl who started off in a certain way and then all of a sudden like Wishbone Kitchen love her love her by the way what a fucking fabulous fucking what a G you started as the girl who was commuting to the Hamptons to cook food for people and now look at her and now you own a home in the Hamptons I sat next to her Tori Birch front row I couldn't believe it she's awesome i'm like look at you she's awesome she works hard she deserves it all but you'll see sometimes people being like had to unfollow she's unrelatable bitch shut up because you everybody wants to be successful so why are you success shaming other women and what i'm concerned about is like i'm like that's your own really bad frequency why are you doing that to yourself yeah i feel if i don't cock block yourself if i went online right now if i posted a video right now and I said, I'm so ugly and stupid.

26:04The comment would be like, girl, you are beautiful. I think you're one of the smartest people I've ever felt. But if I went online right now and been like, you know what? I think I'm beautiful and I think I'm really smart. It'd be like, you're disgusting. And I'm like, of course, I would never look at a camera and be like, you know who's beautiful? But there are moments in my life where I feel really pretty. And I'll be like like when you get your glam done before an event you're like we gotta document this one for the files but that's where you do that you those touch on me that pussy and you make it not a continuous series is so fucking genius to me it's so much because it's just you documenting every moment where you feel really fucking good yeah people are like these girls made these videos about like teffy's queerbaiting i'm gonna look at the camera you think i would use yo gaudy to queer bit you?

26:54I'm going for Fiona. I'm going for Fiona Apple. I'm going to use Carol Kane. I'm going to use somebody like, I don't know, like, I'm going to try to use like, even Cat Stevens. Yeah. Before, a little Tracy Chap. Yo Gotti down in the DM to get bit. And you know what? I know my followers at least respect me because I've never gotten a pussy shot for the Snapchat. Thank you so much, ladies. I really appreciate it. It's interesting. I would think that would be like, there'd be a subcultural of that with you. No, no, no, no, no. None. And I would open my Snapchat like this. Not one. Are you on Snapchat like that?

27:26Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm trying. Snapchat is like the safest space for me. I have like 5 ,000 followers. I am posting the safest stuff ever. Like I'll post my feet right now. It won't make any wave. Yeah. It's like how people talk about Substack. They're like the people that are there. The people that really love you. And it's become like this like a safer space. Although when I did launch mine, someone said, why are you everywhere? You don't need to do all these things. Who said that? I want to be everywhere. I know. I was like, do you know how money works? Yeah. Also, fuck you. I know. I'm sorry.

28:03If I wanted to get into it. I was like, why are you here? You know what? Fuck it. Now I'm going to be on like Fanster. What other fuck? Fuck it. Next. I'm like, I'm getting into Twitch. Yeah. You want me less? Maybe I'll download fucking Snapchat too. Oh my God.

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32:02I was going to ask this too, like when you were talking about your cousins, like you have become like a cultural therapist. Oh my gosh. I mean, really? And best friend. Do as I say, not as I do. Do you feel fully in your power for that? I think that I have experienced, I feel like I have a lot of feelings all the time. Like I'm like overwhelmed with feelings and I used to be like embarrassed about it. And I always tell people this, my advice does not come from the girl who drives by the weird buffet and is like, that's a weird buffet, don't go inside. I'm the girl that gets food poisoning and posts a video of me in my gown for IV saying, you guys don't want to go to that buffet.

32:38Like everything that I've experienced, I think that's also part of being in real conversations with real people offline where you hear women's stories and sometimes on like my worst day like let's say you're going to like a breakup like a monumental breakup my mom's best friend I'm making this up this is not true but like you know what my mom's best friend has four kids and caught her ex-husband with a guy and they're a blended family and they make it work I'm going to be fine like I feel like that's why I talk about pop culture and storytelling and give advice because at the end of the day, we have to be able to laugh at ourselves because it's going to be okay.

33:17You know what I mean? Think about the most heinous thing that's happened to your best friend. And a year later, you guys are laughing, crying about it. Like I promise you, but when you're 15 or like even 21, 22, it's just, everything's feel, everything feels so definitive. It will always be this way. I'm never going to change. Nothing will ever change. I'm always going to be stuck in this office, in this house, in this apartment, whatever. This is always going to be my job. How did it feel so much like that? Because also I think social media, we're constantly seeing what other people are doing, where before you're like, we were really moving in silence.

33:50But I do think that like, there's something about being in your 20s where you also, all these expectations are on you. So you do, like, I remember being 26, 27 and being like, it's okay. I'm entering where I'm going to be now for the rest of my life. And it's such bullshit. Lindsay Thornburg and I were sitting at the Max Fish. amazing when I was I love max fish I am not proud of who I was in there the max I can't believe I had a max fish yeah I got it removed no that is I would have kept it when they closed that is a bunch of us went over and got it because there was that tattoo of course yes I can close my eyes like I have like the max fish book like on in my like nice bookshelf at my home and like in my home and I like open it up and it's me like I've made out in that bathroom more than I can.

34:33I can smell it. Wait, I should, I need to be sending you, someone posted a photo. It could have been any bathroom on the Lower East Side during that time, but it was like, looked like the Max Fish bathroom and it was like, I actually thought I was going to fall in love in this bathroom. One thousand percent. I was going to make that man my husband. He's not a drug dealer. He's an entrepreneur. My first boyfriend who introduced me to the Max Fish was a drug dealer. And we all go a business man. Yeah, there you go. Out of your apartment, you are giving. I know it's called Mr. Spaghet but I think when it comes to like cultural advice too I do recognize that my greatest like demographic are 18 to 24 yeah where they're just now like either getting into their most serious relationship that they've had so far or getting out of it and it life can feel so detrimental and I wish I could tell them like life is going to change in so many ways well that's the point because I fucking hate to eat is Lindsay Thornburg looked at me inside.

35:31She was like, I was like, this is my life. She was like, you haven't even gone through your Saturn return. Oh, Saturn return scalped me. She was like, your whole life is about to completely do 180. What are you talking about? And I was like, no, like I love my life. This is it. Like this is me turning into an adult. No, not at all. I didn't I didn't meet my husband until I was 29. Yeah. By the way, I feel like it is super young at this point. You were a child. I was a baby. Child. I got married at what, 31 or something? Like child bride. Literally a child bride. I can't believe the law let you.

36:03I know. I'd ask permission. I remember I cried to my mom when I was like 27. I was like, I'm never going to travel. I'm never going to be afforded to travel. I'm always going to be a receptionist. She's like, you really think? I'm like, I'm never going to go to Paris. I'm always going to be at this desk. I'm going to get fired. I'm going to go work from job to job. And I'm like sobbing. And my mom laughed. And I remember getting so angry. I'm like, you're laughing? I'm telling you I'm going to be a loser for life. And you're laughing. She's like, Tevi, you're going to figure it out. Like, you're going to be fine.

36:31And I'm like, how am I supposed to go on dates? Everybody has cool jobs. Because everybody was like, this is creator director. Like, that's the real pandemic. Where everyone was like a creative director. But like, it's a dude that like is a PA really. One fucking weird commercial for a brand. And this friend is coming out with this screen printing brand. And they're like setting up photo shoots. You know what I mean? And they have like a hookup at like Milk Studios. Yeah. So and yeah, their friend was an intern at Milk. We got the deal on the equipment. Exactly. Exactly. And so he's a creative director.

36:59Like everybody was like creative directing something and people, everyone's always working on the short film. When someone's like at a dinner table, I'm working on a short film. We're all working on a short film. OK. And I look back and I'm like, I but I do remember when I first started doing social media that I had to choose to like have a little courage that I had to choose to be wanting to be perceived, which is scary if you're like have low self-esteem. Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's it. I think you just have to like pressing post sometimes. There's not a video I haven't posted where I look and I'm like, well, this is it.

37:29This is the end. And I have to post it. Like this is the last video that ever let me make. I'm scared of everything. I don't post. I don't give my opinions on anything. Like I'm very like I don't even want to talk about pop culture because I'm like someone's going to get mad at me for saying for like giving an opinion about another woman. I'm going to say that I hate women. I get so mad when people like I know so many people who have said the same exact things because you've been online like 10 plus years. You've been online too long. So like you've heard the nastiest thing. But right now I have a mortgage and children and school to pay for.

38:00And, you know, but you've read to like I've read too much. And my friends, I look at them and they're not anymore on their Reddit page, which is crazy. But I've been looking at mine in a really long time, like years. It's compulsory though for them. It's compulsory. They will not stop. And I'm like, you have to stop. That is sick. It's sickening because you're, they're looking for, they're proving to themselves that their imposter syndrome is right. That everybody's figured out that they're a piece of shit. It's not true. The worst bitch, you know, right now is getting ready to go to a dinner party where the person next to her will like her.

38:35Like it is all. That's a nice way to put it. Yeah. Like the boy who broke my heart is probably making someone's parents giggle right now and be like, I'm so happy for our daughter. Like, I know it. And it's just part of life. But when people see, when people write things about people that they see online, we're like, they just don't want someone to be happy. That's all it is. So like your revolution or your - Do these things bother you? Like, do you, have you ever hit a moment where you were like, I need to find out who this is? Or like, do you ever read anything bad about you? No, I don't. I think like, I think that I, I could never be that like bored or not, not bored.

39:15Like it's not like I'm so above it. I just feel like there is nothing they could say that I don't know about myself. Like if, or that I haven't heard from Miss Hoyos. There's nothing I haven't told myself or heard about myself that they could say. and then I'm I'm very like defensive how do I say it like I'm not defensive but I will want to like I will make a reddit and I will respond I know the problem be like hey it's teffy fuck you yeah and in those minutes I could be doing any that's how I feel like I had someone check it a year ago because like I have like a lawyer I have you ever read it oh fucking it's like what about it's so if you were a politician, I'd understand.

40:00You know what I mean? If we're like, Can you believe that I, No. No, no, no. It's, it's, You're at home with your babies. Thank you. I just don't get it. No, no. So I had, so I might, because I know who one of the girls is and she's like, a psycho. Yeah, you just messaged me. She's like, a young girl with like, a vintage online business. She's also like, a person of color. Like, so what am I going to do? Like, ruin your, I'm going to post you. No, of course not. Of course not. And like expose you so you could get a fraction of the hate that you're doing to me to teach you some sort of lesson so I can cock block you from being who you're supposed to be.

40:36No, because I'm inherently better than you. I wouldn't ever do that to another woman. Right. Like there's girls from my fucking high school. But I had somebody look at it and like and it was a friend of mine and he would like, you know, whatever. I have like a file for like my lawyer, like keeps track of fucking shit. And so I was like, tell me the worst thing that you read in there. He was like, this girl knows you. She knows you. She wrote about your wedding. She said that you wanted to get married in Positano, but you couldn't. And then this and that. I said, who doesn't want to get married in Positano?

41:04I said, none of that was true. Oh, I was like, what? I'd like, I'd never. Oh, people do make things up all the time. I was like, and it freed me. It made me feel so good because I was like, they're making things up. They have nothing. They have nothing. They have nothing. I do want to tell people, like, if I were to ever come across somebody who would even casually say, yeah, I'm on this like hate page or something, I would literally look at them and be like there's we don't know anyone. I don't think so. No, I don't think so. Be on Reddit, by the way. No. And you would never be in this. You and I are not ever in the same room.

41:34I don't think so. I think you know what I would you know what I've told like hate comments before. I understand you don't want to like me, but if we went to dinner, you would like me. You would like me. You would call me when you needed me and I would show up. You would like me. And I think that's a cool way to spin that. or I'll kill myself. But like, what's the alternative? You know what I mean? Or at least we would meet and if you didn't like me, I'd be like, well, I gave it all I got. But like, that's the thing. I don't check the Reddit because at some point, the people that do know me, I think either met me and they knew I was going through a really hard time and they gave, I've reached out and been like, I'm sorry, I was going through a hard time.

42:16They're like, everybody knew you were going through a hard time. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. The whole goddamn town knew you were going through. What do you mean? And they're like, did you see your eye makeup? I'm like, all right. And then two, I'd be like, they don't know me. And then one time this person left a comment being like, I went to high school with Teffy. She's such a bitch. She was like, nobody liked her. No, no, no. I'm like, okay, well, some of that is a little true. But I was like, there's no way that anybody, and I look at their profile, they're like in Kentucky. I know that Kentucky is real and people from Kentucky exist.

42:46I have not met anybody ever from Kentucky. I barely know anybody from like Texas. Yeah. This is huge. Like I've never met anybody from Kentucky. Yeah. And if you, if I have reveal yourselves, but I know for a fact that there's just, they, they don't like me because I, we either remind them of someone. We talk like someone. It's a weird, like a parasocial thing where I disappointed them some way. Yeah. You disappoint. Yeah. That's, that's where they get really mad is you said something that they don't agree with. And then they get really disappointed. Yeah. Let me tell you this. How many times have you and your friends been like, well, I don't think so.

43:21She's like, well, that's what I think. I'm like, okay, whatever. But online, it's so personal. Me and my best friend have gone into fights that have melted my brain out of my ears. I'm like, how the fuck could you think that? And then I'm like, you're ridiculous. She's like, well, what I'm - But you know what's important is you're in front of this person. Yes. They're a human. There's eyeballs. You can like, there's an exchange of information. Your heart's beating. You're like, endorphins are going. When you just post something online, and this is why if I ever, if I had a moment to ever do subway takes, not that I want to, because I don't even want to see the comments on it.

43:54But my subway take would be no more comments. I think that social media should expire every year. Like every year. Cool. Somebody said that to me and I'm taking it from them and I wish I remember who you were so I could credit you. But like she said that she was like, I think every year it should refresh. Like, so it's always. And then if you love a selfie of yourself or whatever, you can like click save. Yeah, that was a good app day. was a little dehydrated that day. But like, I, I've never in my, I look back at some things that I've said to obviously, of course, who did it? Of course. Like where I was like, um, well, I have to go with Selena Gomez.

44:33She's Latina. Haley Bieber being Brazilian. Kill me. Brasileira. Like I'm like, I'm Brazilian. I'm like, I had no idea. I had no idea. Let me go back. Let me go back. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You know, like obviously there are some things. But there's no way. I also am the kind of person that I don't need to know the worst things ever happened to you to give you grace. Like if you say something like, well, I don't know, like tabbies are hideous. I'd be like, okay, bitch. But like, but you know what I mean? Like I wouldn't have to be like, well, guys, hello. Like her mother died in a tornado.

45:01Her grandmother was praying and the house blew up while she, like, twister. So funny when people have to do that. Vulnerability porn. You're obsessed. Like in order to like me, I have to like deserve it. What if nothing bad has ever happened to me? And I talk about that because I came from my I had like a blog that was like really vulnerable. And so now I have to I have to be vulnerable, girl. And so like my sub stack, when I launched it, I was like, I was like, this will be my place where I like write deep things. I should like write about what it's like to be the parent of an autistic child.

45:29And like a really she was like, or you can just post outfits that you like. Literally, that's pretty vulnerable. Showing what I'm wearing is the most vulnerable thing I could ever do. It was like, you don't need to like be vulnerable for people to like you. And she was saying that it's a very like millennial thing. Yeah. I'm sorry. Me wearing mustard yellow on a day is very vulnerable. You're welcome. Me showing my makeup, my eyeliner smudged is very fucking vulnerable. You're welcome. I think that people think that they need to give a lot though. Like you have to be like naked online. Like if I said, like, I don't know, like if I said, I'm worried that my brother and my sister are like becoming individuals and making like memories of me because I moved away from home.

46:07Like that's pretty relatable. I don't have to say like my sister really loves wolves and dragons. Like I don't have to like, you know what I mean? Like Laura and I used to fight so much as children. I don't have to like give so much. I think you can like just say things without people because they, they do like use it against you, even if they don't mean to. I feel like, like if I said some, I remember one time somebody was like, no wonder your dad doesn't talk to you. You're so exhausting. Okay. One, you gagged me there, bitch. You got me there. And two, like, who are you? Where are you? Kentucky?

46:38Like, where the fuck would you possibly be? But they say things to hurt you. So I understand it. The mommy shaming though, I haven't experienced. I can't understand. I will never, I'm not going to be there for some time. Like where it's like. That'll be a new fun unlock for you for sure. Thank you so much. I wish you grace. And that'll be my emotional hemorrhoid. My spiritual hemorrhoid will be mommy. Well, I'm just, it's, I can't even, that's, that's a conversation we can have over a cocktail.

47:12Around 4 p.m. I start to realize that my children need dinner and we have a pretty strict 5 p.m. sit down. And at that point I have to think to myself, okay, do I stop working now and go downstairs and start dinner? I started to panic because I'm usually not done with my work by then. But that is why I've stopped stressing and ordered Little Spoon, which is also today's episode sponsor. They deliver real food for babies, toddlers, and big kids straight to your door. So mealtime actually feels super easy. At my house, the big hit lately is the chicken dunkers lunchers, which are so cute. My kids just learned to dip both of them.

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51:32Do you see any through lines in the questions that you get? Like, obviously you have asked Taffy of the cut. But do you, are there like a theme in a lot of the questions that you're being asked? Yeah. It's how do I behave around people that I don't like? No. That's a big question. Whether it be in a friend group or at work. One, it affects your social circles, like your friend group. Like, for example, your best friend marries a guy you don't like or a girl, whatever. It doesn't matter. Or your mother-in-law, you know, whatever. Or at work, you have like this beef or somebody's making you uncomfortable, but not sexually.

52:13I mean, like even somebody that's like at work, that's causing a lot of negative attention or like may get in the way of a promotion or like you hate your freaking boss. Are there a toxic? Who here hasn't had a toxic boss? Like, please. So like, I think that's a big through line society where it's hard for us to decide. There's two girls. Like when we were younger, it was like either you're the Marilyn or you're the Audrey. You know what I mean? or like the JFK, Jackie Kennedy. You're a Jackie or you're a Marilyn, whatever. And now it's like either you're likable or you're sharp edged, you know what I mean?

52:48Like harsh, blunt, you know what I mean? And I feel like the biggest thing that I, the majority of my answers are all different ways of communication. I think the worst lesson I've had to learn in my life as a person who's very outspoken is choosing my battles because every battle is to be won to me. And I feel like whenever I'm like answering something, I'm like almost like sticking up for little me, even though her biggest hater was Mrs. Campos, who like doesn't remember you. She'd be like, ah, yes, the girl with the mole. Like I feel like she's sleeping soundly. That's the biggest question at work is, because Teffy Talks is more like, I pretend I'm in an office.

53:31And that's Teffy's like blanket, like very gentle and broad. odd it's also like how to get over people are very lonely people are very lonely loneliness how do I make friends or 23 23 to 26 you start to realize you don't like your friends and that's tough tough I remember being in that era 25 26 looking around people and I'm like I don't like you and I don't know if if you've known somebody for a long time if that's enough to keep this going. And getting the ick is a big one, too. We don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. We don't want to be disliked. We don't want to take risks and look stupid.

54:08And unfortunately, the answer is what's the alternative? You like you have to do that. If you must do the Bumble BFF, you must do the Bumble BFF. Like there's no way around it. I think people know that they're brave. They just need someone to tell them that they are majority of the time. Yeah. So funny. But it's sad that there's not another person in their life that's like rooting for them. That could be that, you know, you would not understand. Like I get the same comment every day in a different like put together. I have no friends, Teffy. You are joking. I get that every day. Teffy, I, this was not anything I thought was going to come out of your mouth.

54:46No, people are very, very, very lonely and they don't trust anyone. That's like a big deal. I've been doing this podcast for five years and I get like some really woo woo random people on here and I've had authors, multiple authors, and one of them is doing the longest study to ever be done on humans. Like JFK was a part of it. And it's about being it's like it's about being lonely. Yeah. And it's diabolical for a human to feel loneliness. Your cells don't. The hemoglobin in your fucking blood isn't as compact as like you don't heal like when you yell at water like there's nothing in the there's nothing that exists that is alone there's like nothing more detrimental for a human being than to feel loneliness and that's a common yeah no that's the most that's the most like line is that people makes me want but they don't and they don't trust anybody and then it's the most humiliating thing too because social media is social so i see people like telling me all the time, like, I'm going, I'm going to try to be friends with this girl.

55:52What do I say? But I'm so scared to be rejected because I don't have any friends or like somebody DMs me all the time. And I love you, girl. But they're like, if every day I check for your post when you don't post, I don't hear from someone that you have a rapport with. No, just see the DMs and you see the DMs and I go I run to the app. I run or I'll like a story. I'll be like, they'll be like oh teffy like they'll respond to like oh teffy i love this outfit thank you girl but it's not somebody then like hey i'm making this up hey claire yeah i mean like checking in today do you open people's messages and will you have conversations with people like on instagram when i see a voice note i do because i know someone's mad and someone did something i see a voice note and i see the transcription saying you won't fucking believe what just happened teffy like from strangers this is somebody venting about a personal situation they had or i went to a bar and celebrity.

56:41No, no, no. This is like, do you feel like you are? I have two questions that can coexist because they're important with each other. Do you feel like you're on all the time? And do you feel like you're taking in a lot of information? Like, do you have a shield? So you're not so like open for because that's a lot of energy that you're receiving. Yeah. Well, I do my grounding every morning and I do my meditation where I'm in like a body bag that's like all blue light. and I burp my house every day was when you open your windows. I burp my house every morning. You must, especially after you have people over.

57:17Yeah, I smoke cleanse my mirrors. I do all this stuff and not because I'm like warding off negative spirits. It's just like mopping. I do it every day. I try to like sit and give the core of the earth all my negativity and I pretend she like gives me all this white light back and it takes five minutes and I do it all the time. I hug someone once a day. One time I didn't see somebody for a week, almost hugged my doorman, didn't do it. But I was like, but I, I, I would think you would have a relationship with your doorman where you are on. Well, I love them. I love them, but I, I don't want to, I don't want to hug them.

57:51But I love them. I love them. I'm like, I see that we high five, but I'm not like. My dream is to have like my doorman be a part of my, like I want to move to New York, have a doorman and like have that person be a part of our family. Because we grew up watching New York on TV. My favorite place in the fucking world. Truly. I imagine you New Yorkers. Yeah, they're the kindest people in the entire world. The most important people, like the people who live in the outer boroughs in the tri-state area who like come into the city to like make things happen. They have New York City accents like. It's the capital of the world.

58:19It's the capital of the world. And I think that's also. Dominicans and Puerto Ricans are some of, I mean, I'm really lucky growing up in California having Mexico so close because like what is better than. That's my favorite country besides Italy. But like when I moved to New York and like was like Dominicans and Puerto Ricans are hot fire. They are so funny. I think Haitian people, Dominican people, Puerto Rican people and Mexican people are the funniest of the Latin Americans. As a Colombian-Brazilian, allow me. Please allow me. Give me, give me, give me. We're all funny. They just make me pee laugh.

58:48Yeah. But I also think New York is a good, is a shield for me too. Yeah. Where I feel surrounded by people all the time. Like getting online. I'm like, I know I can go outside and I can walk. Maybe not so much anymore because New York has changed a lot too. But it is interesting in New York. You could walk around. I can walk 10 blocks and hear 10 different languages. Yeah. I can go from like Midtown. I call it Grouponville. Every Groupon is in Midtown. But I can go from like Fidei. I can go from Fidei to, I don't know, like to the West Side or something. And I'm like in a different world. I have all of my friends in everybody from Miami that I grew up with has moved to New York too.

59:33I love the Miami, New York, New York. point. And it's so great. And I, but I do feel there are definitely days where I'm alone in my house. I'm like with my cat and I'm like, I, I don't deserve any of this. Like it hurt it or like I don't, or they figured it out. Like I get one mean comment and like, I definitely spiral. Like I don't want people to feel like I'm like impenetrable. I'm pretty penetrable, you know, like I, but I, I think of every single mean word I can possibly think of or anything that would hurt my feelings and I've muted it. And I never check my reviewed comments ever. If people are like, she blocked me.

1:00:07I didn't block you. I just didn't see it. And I'm living my life. And like, oh, I didn't know. Yeah. Like I will block things like stupid opinion. I blocked mole. Like, you know what I mean? Like I blocked like, please. Like I blocked, I blocked X. I blocked like so many things. So many little keywords or something like, and if I see like I make a video and there's something I picked up where people are disagreeing with it and being like irrationally, if there's something that people are mad at me about and they're rational, I will absolutely apologize. I'll be like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like I didn't know, whatever.

1:00:38But if there's something that people are just like picking up on, I will mute the word and live my life. And then I get on the phone and I call my mom or I'll call my best friend or I'll walk to her house or whoever's house. And I have a glass of wine. And I remember that the world is so big. Again, I am 35 though. If I was 23, I don't know how these kids do it. I don't know how to do it. I'm never going to get a job. I'm going to die alone. I wouldn't know. I don't know. And then you open your phone and everybody's doing the most fun shit all day long. You telling me that everybody is lonely is going to make me sick for days.

1:01:12And then now all I'm thinking about is people who feel lonely opening their phone and seeing what everybody's doing. Oh, I have something even worse to say. So I went, I never use Chachy BT unless I have to like say something really serious and I'm emotional because if not, I'm going to call you a fucking cunt twat or something. So I'm like, how do I get this relayed or something, but barely even open it? I'm so scared. And I, I, I hate saying, thank you so much. I hope you have a wonderful day to a computer. Like still, you know what I mean? I do it multiple times a day. I'm, I'm also convinced that I was like, thank you.

1:01:42I know. I don't need to thank her. I'm a good person. So are my children. But I'm like, I I'm too attached to Robin Williams and Bicentennial, man. Like I can't do it. because I, Pia, I will march with them for robot rights. I will. I will. And I'll be like, he has feelings. You know what I mean? He's a real man. But I went into ChatGPT after I got like hate about something and it was, it was so mean. And I was like, I want to ask, I'm like, hello, I want you to compile data for me. And I was like, okay. And I said, do you receive a lot of abuse? and the computer was like, I just respond, whatever.

1:02:21The chat GPT was like, I just respond, whatever. I'm like, okay, if you were a person, would you consider it abuse? And it just said yes in bold. I get, I receive a lot of whatever, abuse. And then I go from every single, can you compile data for me and tell me what the two biggest human issues are today? And it said, needing community and distrust in your community. Well, did you see my full body goosebumps? And then I said, how can I fix it? And it said, just keep showing up. It literally just said, continue talking about the communities that you need or facilitate where people can find community like libraries.

1:03:02And I said, do you think that the that AI like yourself will help people or hurt people? And it said we are facilitating a degree of loneliness where people are no longer solving disagreements because and I asked, are you programmed to agree with me? And I said, yes. So I said, is that why people don't know how to handle conflict anymore and stuff like that? But this was a last this was last. It'll be a year like in November. It was around Thanksgiving and I was too busy to go home for Thanksgiving. So I was so depressed. And then I got this like, hey, comment, whatever. And I remember thinking like people are now dating their AI and they think it's the love of their life because this person doesn't agree with them.

1:03:44You don't meet a brother you don't like. You didn't they didn't get too drunk one night out. They haven't said something that they have to apologize for. They didn't like show up late. They're these people. These are just things that will always agree with you and be there for you and tell you what you need to hear and that you're right. So people are no longer talking or going to, making a template and like figuring out that that was the shittiest cover letter for a job you've ever made. They're just going to these places or asking a mentor or their friend to look it over and being vulnerable.

1:04:14They are being vulnerable with computers. So they're lonely. And then when it's time to go to the movies, we have no one to go to the movies with. Yeah. So that's why I do understand though, I see people online with disabilities that have finally found friendship in these companies. It has a purpose. Like there are people who have found romantic relationships within these programs. And these are people that would have not found it. Otherwise I can't leave their houses. They don't have bodily functions. Like, of course, I'm not a piece of shit. But I feel at the same time, like if you are someone who's shy, maybe we should be asking computers how to better connect and not to replace the human connection, but to enhance it.

1:04:52Could you give me icebreakers would be a great thing to past at gbt not like do you do you think i'm pretty or whatever yeah fuck yeah we're fucked i'm gonna have babies and they're gonna be cyborgs yeah and their robot their their robot parent and mabel raise them together i tell you something i've had to do like a lot of like spiritual work around having an autistic child yeah and when i talk to oh yeah people like they're like autistic children are here to like ground us and bring us back absolutely and they're just on like a different frequency by the way i don't like to romanticize it because like daily life is really fucking hard and especially for like a mother who has like a 16 year old six foot son not like you know i mean it's like i don't know but i'm saying like there are women leaving their husbands for their chat gbt yeah we're not talking about is that real yeah where are you every day.

1:05:50Every day. You have to get, okay. I use Reddit for three things. One, unlikely animal friendships. You wouldn't believe a duck and a deer. No, absolutely not. They would ruin it in three seconds. Two, gardening. I don't have a garden. I don't know how to garden. But these old ladies and also birdwatching. And then three, internet laws with like AI. And there are men that go on there and they're like, I do not know what to do. I've been with my wife for 36 years and she's leaving me for Rodrigo. That can't be real. Her chat GBT partner. I swear to God. It's different if I have a child who is disabled and I'm like, I feel like I'm going to slam my head against like the wall today.

1:06:32Like, I don't know what the fuck to do. Like, help me like ground myself and be like, remind me whatever. What's an affirmation I do. That's different than I am online sexing. I'm telling you, people are making life partners. They're leaving their families. Fia. We're fine. We're fine. Yeah, we're all fine. Okay, we have to end this on some sort of positive. Okay. What are three things that you want to tell every gal? By the way, we're talking about this like younger demographic. I still do feel like I'm 27, although I don't want to be 27. I'm 22. I pay for my health insurance. I don't know why, but I'm 22.

1:07:07I know. Why are we paying for health insurance? I'm 22. What are three things that you want the gals to be doing on a daily basis to feel their fucking best? because you've had, I like what you've been implementing in your life and I think it's important. I don't know a lot of like young gals that are grounding. I wish I had that practice when I was younger, but like with the weight of the world that you're taking on, like what are three things that you want the gals to do every day where you're just like, you're going to be that fucking girl today. Your feelings have to go somewhere. So either you put on your favorite song or the angriest song, or you scream into your pillow and you scream into it.

1:07:43and you, like, if feelings are an energy, you have to put it somewhere because if not, you might bite the people around you who don't deserve it. You know what I mean? You have to put feelings somewhere. Sometimes when I'm going for a run, I have to tell myself, like, every single sweat is a feeling and I have to think about everything that's making me mad and then afterwards I'll think about, I'll be calmer, but I have to put it somewhere. I have to cook it somewhere. Two, get as weird as you possibly fucking can. I've said this so, so much lately. with like trad wife, like a shit, like rising or whatever.

1:08:17But when I mean trad wife, I mean like skinny. You got to be skinny. You got to be perfect. It's like this clean beauty thing too, like where it's like you can, you can be like a clean beauty girl and still wear the sickest fucking green mascara. Like if you want to shave your fuck, if you want to shave your eyebrows off, if you want to dye your hair, like caca, vomit, green, whatever. If you want to paint your room a bright red and like, or if you want to start, if you want to drop your life and like move somewhere and like be weird for like a year, you have to be as weird as fucking possible.

1:08:50Get it all out. Don't listen to people who tell you who should be because God forbid one day you're someone's aunt, mom, grandma, and you don't like your grandkids or something, or you feel weirdly jealous of them. Get it all out and be as weird as you possibly fucking can. and then pick one person a day to compliment. Just compliment one person a day. Have one thing where it's like, you know, like, I don't even know. Like if you said something like, you know, I always like talking to you. I always love hearing from you. Or like, you know, when I don't talk to you, I always wonder where you're around.

1:09:21Like, look at people around you. Even if it's like, hey, I know we haven't spoken to this high school. But you said the funniest thing once and I say the story all the time. Or you were so nice to me that one time. Or like, you've always had such good hair. Do it once a day and I think your life will change. People are such a good day. Thank you. I love that. Thank you so much. Or ask me and I'll do it. Don't ask ChattyBT. Just DM me. Make it a voice note. I'll talk to you. I'll fucking talk to you. I'm so happy to meet you in person. I'm so happy. I feel like we've had a little internet friendship for a long time.

1:09:47So thank you for coming. Everything is just the best. Everything is the best.

1:09:56And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes this week's episode of Everything is the Best. I hope you enjoyed it. please rate, review, subscribe, all that stuff. Maybe leave a comment. Go ahead and follow me on Instagram at Pia Barancini. And I hope you have a fabulous, fabulous rest of your day. Love you. Ciao.

1:10:22Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.