How I Pack, Finding Personal Style, and Injection Questions - It's a Rapid Fire Solo w/PP

0:00The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

0:15Okay, let's go. I'm doing just a rapid fire here. Hello, how are you? All my darling internet friends who I love to meet in real life all the time. So funny when someone's like, hi, I follow you. And so like, I know all of this stuff. Like people say it, like they're embarrassed. And I'm like, I am embarrassed about how much of my life is on the internet. I am the embarrassed one so please don't ever that's on me okay need your advice on how to plan a vacation I don't know how I'm not good at that I guess I I don't know we are a very I can't get Davide to plan anything to save his fucking life even in his own country he just doesn't want to.

1:07So, you know, it like, if we, when we go to Italy, like this trip we're going on tomorrow, he starts with a wedding and then we have like really important family stuff for him. Like usually when we go, this is why it's like so tough for us to live so far away. We have so many vendors that like, it's never, it's always such a gift to be there, but it's always really chaotic because we have to drive around so many places. So we're going to a wedding and then we're going to Sicily. And for the first time in the almost 10 years that I've been going to Sicily with him, we are staying in one place for eight days the first day.

1:49And yes, we have to drive to many different places while we are there. But the fact that we are not moving locations with two children and all this stuff, I try to pack very light. If it was just me, I could do a carry on. Carmela has so many supplements. I have fucking snacks. Like I have, it's a lot. So I'm very pleased we're going, you know, we stay on the east side of the island because that's where he's from. And then we are going to the west side of the island because I was able to procure a little apartment at the Tonaro di Scopelo, which is heaven on earth and that's also the same side as the of the island where we make our olive oil so we'll go to the farm so like i don't know like we go where we need to go for family and work when we go to italy and then any other time like we love a road trip we love colorado we love wyoming montana is beautiful It's like much more rural and spread out.

2:59We love exploring. So even with the kids, like there are oftentimes where we travel where we leave a lot up to

3:06PP:be discovered. And that is really where I think the magic lies. And that's also just like a little nice life lesson, right? What kind of filler do you do and how much? Oh, lip filler. I don't know. I have no clue. I've been getting my lips done for eight years little bits good lip filler you can do like as little as once a year I go to either Dr. Payman at Plastic Docs although he will literally say I'm not doing anything to you and same thing just happened with Mona at Facile I went to get like a couple little touch-ups and I was like should I do more lip like should I do this and she was like I'm not touching anything else, which was really nice.

3:51But Mona at Facile is really cool because she just specializes in filler, like in injections. And I found her because she makes TikTok videos about bad filler and bad Botox. And so I was like, I definitely want to go to that girl. She's really unbelievable. That is Mona at Facile. Woodtown's to stay in or near Amalfi, Amalfi is tough. Amalfi is very crowded and very expensive. And if you rent an Airbnb, just so you know, you will oftentimes find like a magical place, but it will be like a thousand steps down to the water because Amalfi like is essentially like, you know, it's like on a mountain with the cliffs.

4:43The best time to go, I would say is May and September, October. And then, you know, you could just stay anywhere in there. You want to be in the water. It just, Naples is fire. It's very crowded. It's actually dangerous in certain areas. I'm not saying this as like a annoying person. I'm saying this, like I've been there multiple times with people who live there and they will be like, take your jewelry off before we walk through this neighborhood. So I would just be like, you know, aware of how you move through certain areas. But if you're going to Amalfi, you fly into Naples, I would absolutely do at least a night there because it's really fucking cool.

5:25Tips for traveling with the baby. You know, we leave tomorrow at 4 a.m. And we are lucky that Carmela has always been a very easy traveler. and Carlo is just a monster. He's a beast. He has opinions. He is very physical. He will push you around. He is impossible to change a diaper. Like, you know, so he's going to be a monster. I have no problem giving my children melatonin or Benadryl on the plane. And that starts for me when they are one. Carlo is one. I'll tell you a story. When Carmela was two, we were going to Italy. We had a layover in Paris and we get on the plane and there was a couple sitting in front of us and they had a kid that was like a year and a half.

6:21And we had Carmela who was two and I had melatonin gummies. So we're like, Oh my God, hold your kid, hold your kid. Like super cute. We get a glass of wine. You know, we sit down, get a glass of wine. We are cruising. We'd been traveling with her already, you know, since she was three months old. So she's amazing to travel with. She's just lovely and sweet and loves being cozy somewhere and being able to like, you know, look at a book for a long time or look at an iPad. We never really let her look at an iPad. So, you know, unless it's an emergency, definitely no iPads at any sort of dinner table ever.

7:02I'll sneak an iPhone and she watches Miss Rachel basically she's been obsessed with Miss Rachel for fucking three years and you know autistic kids love to watch the same thing they find it really soothing so she just like locks in and gets into the zone and Carlo wants to party and he's strong and he doesn't fucking sit still anyway back to what I was talking about we get on this plane. And I say to them, I don't, you know, I know this is controversial, but if you would like to give him some melatonin or Benadryl, I have it. And they looked at me like I was a fucking trash can. Judgment, judgment, judgment.

7:49Oh, no, no, no. We don't do that for our son. And I was like, of course I get it. No problem. Just so you know, things start to get desperate. I have it here. He can take a half. It'll conk him out for just a couple hours. No problem. We fall asleep. This flight is a fucking red eye, by the way. So we're like settling in, we eat dinner, we give her a melatonin, we have our glass of wine, we get cozy. We are like settling in and we pass out. We wake up like an hour before the flight's going to take off, which is amazing. And by the way, this is obviously like so rare, but I know a lot of, you know, most of my friends will give their toddlers melatonin on the plane, especially on a red eye.

8:35And this is why, because we woke up and we were ready to tackle the day. I open my eyes and I look at them and they are pale and sweaty. And I'm like, hi. And they were like, you slept the whole time. And I'm like, yeah. They look at me and said, we didn't sleep at all. We've been up 11 hours. It was like, we flew LA to Charles de Gaulle. I was like, I am so sorry. They start freaking out. They're like, we're supposed to drive four hours to Provence right now or whatever, like long fucking trip they had. It was so sad. And here is what I'll tell you. Now I have to give carmelomelotonin all the time because, you know, a lot of kids with ASD are lacking in melatonin.

9:21They have huge sleep issues. So now it's something that I don't have a choice to be snotty about, right? Like it is what it is. When you have these preconceived notions of like what you are and aren't going to do for your child based on like some weird principles or like whatever, I'm going to just say, giving your child melatonin every once in a while on a plane so all of you can sleep because your child needs sleep too, does not make you a bad parent. It makes you a parent that assessed the situation and did what was best for everybody. Okay. That's my tip for traveling. Otherwise I have a shit ton of snacks.

9:57I have little toys to entertain them and I have an iPad and I don't, and I melt on it. That's, that's what I have. Do you have these items pre-pack? Oh no, I pack. So the question is, do I have items for traveling already packaged or I pack each time? I pack each time because I need different things each time. I try to have like, I have all the things that I need for the most part. So it's just a matter of kind of going into my little organized areas and like grabbing this and grabbing that. Oh, I will say what I do have. I had to, I had to re up it this time though, is I always have a bag of stuff to like throw in it.

10:45I don't, I should bring it in a diaper bag, which doesn't, this is like when you're like a first time parent, you always bring it around. Then you realize it's like not that deep, but like you just get lazy. I have a bag that has like a mini thermometer, a nose Frida, emergency Benadryl for allergic reactions, dye-free Tylenol, Band-Aids, like, and that's kind of like always ready to throw in a travel bag.

11:15PP:Thank you, Cotton, for sponsoring this episode. You should feel confident about what you put on your body. So whether that's clothing or your sheets, you want something that is soft and natural. And that's why I just love cotton. Who doesn't love cotton? Who doesn't? I mean, denim and a white t-shirt. I mean, to me, it's just like the American uniform. Cotton is gentle on your skin. It breathes. So it keeps you cool. It's hypoallergenic. And what is better than putting on that perfect t-shirt that you've had forever or getting into a perfect, cool, yummy cotton bed on a spring or summer night.

12:00PP:I always choose to wear cotton when it gets warmer out. And I don't know if you know how many different cotton fabrics there are. Again, we have denim, corduroy, and flannel. It's such a versatile fabric. You can wear it with any style, season, or occasion. Cotton is also so durable. It's easy to wash and care for. It keeps its shape. And listen, I love cotton for a multitude of reasons. One of them also being, you know, financial, but on top of that, the nostalgia that comes with wearing an item that you've had for so many years of your life, like my favorite jeans, the jeans I'm wearing right now, I've had these since before I had my daughter and I've worn them through two pregnancies and my favorite, favorite, favorite white t-shirt I've had through my twenties.

12:47PP:So I always think about when I put it on, like how many places I've worn it. Davide wears one of my dad's t-shirts, this cotton short that he loves so much that he wears every single time we fly for good luck. If choosing quality fabrics is important to your family, make sure that you look for the cotton tag. Cotton truly is the fabric of our lives. Learn more at thefabricofourlives.com. I'm a Merit makeup girly through and through. I have been for years now because listen, Merit is trying to solve a problem, right? The beauty industry can feel overwhelming because there's complicated 12-step skincare routines and 50-shade eyeshadow palettes and products that require a near expert level of artistry to master.

13:33And Merit is not that. Merit is the anecdote to the overwhelming world of beauty. Merit is a minimalist beauty brand with a mission to simplify what it takes to feel beautiful. And you can see it in their collection of products and how they all work together just beautifully and simply. Merit helps you simplify what it takes to get ready. It's makeup that you can really live in. They simplify by creating impossible to mess up makeup and skincare products that help you do more with less. It's designed for people who want to look put together without spending a ton of time on their routine. And that's what Davide always says to me.

14:06He's like, you spend way more time getting ready to go to bed than you do getting ready to go out. And that's because of products like Merit. I mean, I've been using their concealer for years. I think it's one of the best concealers on planet earth. I've been posting about it a lot lately. And that's because Merit focuses on high performing, clean, effortless products. They're skin loving and designed to enhance natural beauty rather than cover it up.

14:29PP:Their products are impossible to mess up and perfect for busy mornings or anyone who prefers a less is more approach to beauty. I love the flush balm. It's just an easy, beautiful pop of color on your cheek that just makes it look like you almost just went on like a light little run. And the minimalist is just, I mean, everybody needs it. It's a foundation and concealer and one for quick natural coverage. One of my girlfriends, since we've been on this trip, like need, you know, she didn't get her luggage. She needed to use makeup. And she was like, oh, do you have foundation? And I said, no, I have my Merit Minimalistic.

15:03I was like, it's both in one. And it was so amazing to like watch her put it on and be like, oh my God, this really is like the perfect coverup that looks so light and dewy and perfect and not heavy, but just makes you look so good. It's time to simplify your routine.

15:17PP:Head to MeritBeauty.com and get their signature makeup bag free with your first order. Welcome to Dear Media IRL, a live experience for listeners, trendsetters, culture shifters, and fans. This fall, we're bringing your favorite shows and voices to the stage in Dallas for a full day of real conversations on entrepreneurship, brand building, and meaningful creativity, all with the creators you know and love. If you're in the area or you need an excuse to get away, this is your sign. Head to dearmedia.com slash events for tickets and more information. do you believe in going no contact with someone you broke up with i i don't know how but at some point in my life i had developed this idea that being friends with your ex was like an accomplishment and so it was something that showed that you were like elevated and could like get past i don't know I think going no contact is honestly just now being the age that I am and watching lots of people break up and stuff.

16:26I think it's a really fucking good idea. I really, really do. Davide is a huge like no contact. Like he is someone who when you break up, like you break up, women are obviously more emotional. And for me, it's hard to figure out where all that love went, right? Like it was all there and now it's just supposed to go away. And I think it's, I think if you slip up and have sex with an ex every once in a while, like who cares? That's part of being a human being. But I absolutely think that there is a lot of benefit to going no contact. You're just going to drag things on. You might say things and listen, it's very much okay to have a moment where you say a bunch of things that you shouldn't have said.

17:13And, you know, that's just part of the process. And we, we recover from that. That's totally fine. But I do think, you know, if those are things you're going to spiral over, maybe like allowing there to be, yeah, a no contact situation is going to alleviate for any of those issues. I wish that I had gone no contact with my ex, just because I was acting out of fear, but it wasn't really how I felt. Like I knew we weren't supposed to be together and I, but I still was just scared. And so I like, I wish I had gone no contact because like I gave him a lot more contact than like he deserved in the breakup.

17:56And it just like dragged the whole thing on for a long time. Just fucking stupid. What are your thoughts on vaccines and autism?

18:06should we make this podcast only about vaccines and politics? Keep it light. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know enough. I do not think that someone goes from being a completely neurotypical child to being autistic from a vaccine. And I am sure that there are a group of you who are going to say, actually know I've experienced this and I experienced that and I don't want to like if that's the truth then like please let's talk about it and and I and I when like I'm open to any and everything something's causing autism and I want to know what it is Carmela has a genetic mutation which you know I don't know what percentage of kids who have autism do and don't have that.

18:57But I do think that the vaccines are tough on the body of a little child, the same way that like dairy is hard for an autistic child and noise and light and gluten. And, you know, they've so many sensitivities. They're like so sensitive to like everything in this world. So for me, like my gut instinct is, yeah, if you're going to put like a bunch of stuff in a body that's already trying to work really hard to just function, Carmella has extremely low mitochondrial function. Like her synapses don't, her body has an inability to absorb folate. So we gave her lucavorin for that, but the lucavorin can also raise glutamine if there's some sort of irritation happening in the body.

19:45And it like that happened and she turned into like a zombie and this has been a miracle drug for everybody and we didn't get it you know there's just like a lot of layers and things so like I am going to do the vaccines that are necessary for her to be a part of society absolutely I have been told different things about spreading out the vaccine my lovely pediatrician tells me that she loves and has no problem spreading them out and that in her entire career as a doctor taking care of you know tens of thousands of children that she has never seen spread out vaccines ever make a child sick. There was a time, God, I don't know.

20:32I just, this topic is just, I don't know. I'm just as lost as you guys are. I remember giving her all the vaccines and being like, this is a lot for her. And one night after her vaccine, she was violently ill and threw up a lot. And I know that that also can be common, but my gut was like, fuck, like that was a lot for her little body. But I see other kids get vaccines and they're totally fine and it's no big deal. I just think this is so nuanced and I don't know. And I want answers just as much as everybody else. Anyway, my doctor said that she she's never seen kids get sick who have vaccines that are spread out and individualized.

21:13That's her experience. I also saw a doctor that I love to follow on TikTok, who's a amazing pediatrician, whose advice I love to follow, who said spreading out the vaccines, you know, these vaccines give a cortisol spike to children every time you give it to them. So if you spread them out, the more you're giving them these little cortisol spikes and those cortisol spikes could lead. So it's like, I don't know. Every way you look and go, there's like some different thing. And so just so you all know, like I am just as curious and I'm just as open and I don't have a strong opinion either way. I just hope for the best for everybody.

21:52And when I see people arguing about this, it makes me really sad because everybody thinks they know everything and we all don't. And I just think the goal is for us all to figure something out together. And I wish we would work together to do that.

22:04PP:That's how I feel. How do you keep your relationship spicy? I think that there's a lot to be said about being like sweet to your partner and doing things that they appreciate, making sure that, you know, even, you know, everybody has such a busy day, but if you're able to, you know, order pizza and have it be home by the time your partner gets home, not that that's something that needs to happen every day, but if it can, you know, those are things that are really meaningful. I think we have a lot of little ways that we have, that we communicate with each other without communicating with each other, you know, but like, it's a lot of touch.

22:52Oh, it's a lot of physical touch. I know he likes his back scratched. I know he likes when the sink is like little things to, I think there's two things. There's, there's respecting each other enough to have a nice flow. You know, if it, if it, if it makes him happy when the house is on the cleaner side, I go out of my way to do it. is he putting up with a lot from everything all the time and he's meeting us halfway with like the cleanse? Like, yeah, like we all are just doing a really good job of meeting each other halfway. So we don't, we're not, no one's like bitching at each other all the time.

23:31Cause I think once you get into that, it's really hard to get out of it in terms of keeping it spicy. Like I am always available and ready. Like I, you know, I shave my legs every time I get in the shower Or I get waxed regularly. I know that he likes when I have sexy bra and underwear on. He prefers that to like no underwear. So even when I go to bed at night and I put like a cute little nightgown on, if he sees a little something peeking out from the nightgown, that gets him excited. Like he needs those type of things. If I'm just like, you want to have sex right now? He'll be like, what? Like he can't.

24:09And I'm like more of like a frat boy. I'm like, let's fucking do this. And he's like, that's really not romantic. I don't like that. like what so it's like a matter of just he'll always say like what really like turns him on is like when things are light and sweet and it's when he's not like bogged down by a bunch of different stuff and and so you know I think that's the hardest part about being an adult with work and kids it's like where's like what space is left right you know and so I think just keeping things really sexy. You know, I obviously care about how I look and maintaining how I look for myself, but I also, he loves me at any stage, anywhere.

24:55I mean, he'll pull up a photo of me like 215 pounds and he will be like, look at my wife, look how beautiful you are. I mean, he's never for one second refused sex with me when I'm pregnant or postpartum or anything. Like he makes me feel just as beautiful every single time. And that's because I married like a real man who's not like a little bitch who doesn't like judge women for their bodies and loves women of all shapes and sizes. That was also like a choice I made. You know, I wanted a partner who was going to be willing to love me at every stage of my life. And then I think, you know, investing in being able to have time alone if it's possible, like putting your kids to bed early and getting upstairs.

25:40And, you know, I have friends who lived in a loft with all three of their kids and they had like the most active self-life that I knew. So I think just knowing what the things are that make your partner get excited is just something that we should all try to be doing if we have the bandwidth for it. whether you're in a brand new relationship or you've been in a relationship for a long time it's totally possible to feel overwhelmed exhausted distant and disconnected from your partner because life is absolutely insane and sometimes you just need to reconnect and if you're like me if you love games you're gonna love paired it's an app for couples who want to strengthen their relationship.

26:30It was founded on the simple belief that lasting love is a daily practice. All of Pear's content is backed by experts and relationship therapists, and it's proven to work. So how it works is you and your partner download the app and together you just play like a fabulous little game. There are personalized questions, quizzes, and it's like this very funny, cute, quirky, but also very amazing way to stay connected and deepen your conversations and have fun too. The best part is you can't see your partner's answer until you answer yourself. So it's a really safe space to have an open and honest discussion about your relationship.