Italy Recap with Davide!

0:00The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

0:14Davide Baranchini, welcome to the podcast. Wow, wow, wow. Can I have a little jingle too? Davide, Davide, Davide, Davide. oh my god look carlos chuchos on the floor i love when they're like you try to track him based on what it like carlo is here there's a soccer ball and uh and like one of carmelo's little so cute i love our babies of all the thing the the chuchos the lulus don't uh don't bother me of course why would it yeah no you know what i mean like yeah like um okay we went to italy day two davide almost gave up because he was losing it with the kids and he was like i don't think we're gonna make it this whole was it day two it was uh no but something happened i don't remember i mean this is not gonna work i mean this was irresponsible well you said it was this was peak like marriage parenting hilarious moment.

1:28So Carmela has like once a day gets really upset and it lasts for like five minutes. It doesn't last a very long time, but she gets really, really upset and it's a full body. It comes out of nowhere. It's not like in response to something. So it's not like we could say, Oh, don't do this or don't do that because like, it's going to put Carmela into a tailspin. She'll literally be like in the middle of laughing and having the best time ever on the beach. And then it's like a full blown and you have to carry her and she's kicking and it's dangerous. She's like long limbs. And it was bad for a second.

2:06And then it got better. And like a month before the trip, I said to Davide, like, do we think we should bring her? And you had the correct response, which was like, we're a family and We don't leave people out. Yeah. And so the first meltdown occurred on our first flight. And it was, just to put some like. Context is the word you're looking for. It was very, very, it was violent. It was the first time. And people were sleeping. I saw her almost, it was almost related to her space. She kind of also felt very. She likes being on planes usually. No, no, but she felt in that exact moment, it was a serious thing, I believe, that brought her to have the violence of a reaction.

3:05Like she really felt unsafe. she felt that you know usually if it happened in the house she has her place she loves she has places where in the house she feels more safe and and maybe it's like a the light from a window or maybe is is is a room and we went on the plane and she couldn't find comfort so we went to the toilet and and when i locked the door and i put her standing on the toilet that smaller space and she would see all the walls and yeah that was such a fucking good move on your end and and it felt like she'd re reprogrammed herself it was fascinating so here's also a real thing. Dobby day works almost every day.

4:00He's like most Sundays he has off. That's how much he leaves here and he's at his store or in Italy working a lot. He went to the store at 8am the day after I gave birth. So he is not, he is a very loving, attentive, wonderful father, but he is not around all day long the way that I am because I work from home. So he does not have the familiarity or the same amount of earned patience that I have. Also men are just impatient in general because they're just like lost and like kind of losers but like women are so women are so and moms this is this is what makes us moms is like we see clarity in the chaos and we have a level of calmness in disastrous situations because that's just what we do I couldn't agree more on both of these statements.

5:06Thank you. So Davide did not have the, he has no loops on his belt when it comes to Carmela's meltdowns. And I have many. And to Carlo meltdown too, it's not that I do distinction. It's just, this is the point. So Davide took Davide a few days to get used to. Like it's not about what they're like. and this is a good way to recap being a parent in a scenario that it's only environmental if it's the two of us if it's Carmela and I or Carla and I or Carmela, Carla and I pretty much you have everything in your control if you are in an environment that you created or you know home there is not or we go to a park or we go to have ice cream if you are in an environment that is the beginning with is a little bit of style like sometimes i have panic attack if i'm on a plane it's not nice for myself even if i am in a in a place where i'm not safe it's like a corporate office if you're sick in a corporate you know what i mean so so so So basically, here I am trying to navigate, already dealing with them one-on-one.

6:29And then if the environment around me requires me, it's like when we were at the, perfect example. By the way, to summit is, this was the first time in almost 10 years we got to Italy together.

6:44That, eight years, sorry, that you cried at departure. sorry you cried on the way back it never happened it's true um can i tell you why yes i was bringing another example like when we were at a custom perfect example is the extra reminds of what i'm trying to describe you know we landed we got to lax the flight was relatively smooth and we figured that the the cabin crew member told us that our strollers will not be we gate checked our fucking strollers and they put them in with the fucking luggage they would be at the belt for us so we had to carry both of the let's give context to this because people don't we can't let go of carmela's hand so the stroll so putting her in the stroller and makes it's necessary because it's very hard to control her and that walk to customs is very long and then carlo's heavy and we had a shit ton of carry-on bags yeah so we were fine but it was definitely fucking annoying as fuck to be like fuck deal with holding them and and then we arrived to custom and we arrived to custom after literally like 16 minutes of walking and you know making sure that they're with us and and then we do the line you know and so what i do as soon as arrive in front of the officer to make myself available to him i lifted carmela and i seated her on the counter which we do a lot because it's she's she won't jump off yeah she's it grounds her and it allows us we call baby gel and it allows us to use our fucking hands correct and we can't let go of her hand.

8:32To be available to you. I mean, it's like, I know that she's not going to jump out of that, out of there. I know that she's here. I see it. I put it, of course, not in front of the office, but it was on the corner. And this dude, look at me. These fucking TSA bitch asses. By the way, we went from TSA, I hate to use stereotype. I hate to generalize. I hate to label things. We came from TSA, the look at me in the eyes, play with my baby cheek and say to me, welcome back home and i go to a guy that wears a g-shock has a full like war gear on and he's like can she please what did he say how you articulate no can she can she get off from my he said please remove her from my counter no she said can she get off of my account okay and then i said and i and davide doesn't like when i speak for him but this but davide has no self-control and so now Davide is about to like tussle with this fucking TSA guy and this is the only time we need to be fucking cool because these TSA people fuck with him because he has a green card and I put a hand in front of you like I'm talking to this guy but I was like I gotta do this I'm like I just put the baby in here you guys that was a big dick off like I have never seen him in my fucking room the two of you because I can be 100 % available to you and I and I brought it off and I'm holding her and she's like you it's not safe to have her oh my god she said you can hold and then he said you can't hold her of course I can hold her I'm holding her no no he said you looked at him and you said it's my daughter of course I can hold her yeah because I am explaining to him I gotta hold meanwhile I'm going like hi she runs around she has she runs away autism so we can't and they didn't give us our strollers and so but this man was overly so rude to you and you were trying so hard to not fully lose it so you didn't get in trouble but you were also trying to like place your dominance over your child that it was my baby i'm like you idiot of course i can hold her it's my baby and i'm telling you that if i let it go she would run away from me oh my god this baby has no tag on this baby can't say who she is in the business airport on the planet then at one point he picks up why did he get on the phone?

10:59he got on the phone remember that? he made a call he was like excuse me and then he looked at your passport and he was like call the 51 yep okay and I was like why are you making a fucking call are you trying to make us the only reason why he didn't put us in secondary is because we had the kids and one of them has autism. He would have put us into secondary for sure, pulled you in and I would have had to wait there. And only because she has autism and he knew that it would, that I didn't have the strollers and I couldn't do it by myself. That's why I didn't do it. That was the perfect example.

11:32So I found out yesterday. What the challenge is, you know what I mean? I found out yesterday. That's what I was trying. The point I was trying to bring is that. I found out yesterday that from a cop, that TSA people. You talk to cops? No, the girl who did my The girl who did my vitamin drip I didn't want to say from the girl who did my vitamin drip Because it sounds very fucking LA And very fucking embarrassing As a married woman, I knew from a cop No, her brother's a cop

12:05I was with a cop yesterday

12:12The girl who did my vitamin drip yesterday's brother is a cop again i know from a yoga instructor your pilates is jack that tsa agents are cops who are are tried to be policemen but failed yeah it's like a service dog it can be military dog because they're too too friendly basically so yeah but this is the opposite because these guys aren't fucking friendly i know we send them to each other all the time i love it i want adopted so there's like a bitterness there anyway i'll i'll i can just yeah i don't yeah dude you want to be a tough guy go get it go be tough and literally my favorite part of going to italy is when we arrive because it's just when they tell you every time they touch our children and oh and they and they welcome and they welcome you home naples and i put her on his counter yeah You remember that?

13:08You put Carlo on his counter because we didn't have the fucking. I did the same thing. And he played with Carlo's toes. Thank you. Because I had Carmela. And I was pulling the pad to free one hand. I put Carlo on the counter. And you know what he did? He reached his hand out talking to the microphone. It's just, that's the easy way I don't get it. That's why I don't get it. But we always do feel very nice coming back to America. We get into an air conditioned fucking airport. Everything operates. We know there's fucking directions. Flying out of Palermo that had no... This is Italian. This is the video that I posted of that fucking hilarious comedian who always makes videos about how useless people at Italian airports are.

13:57She drove me crazy too. I almost forgot about her. Yes, we almost didn't make our flight. It took us 45 minutes to check in. I've never seen anything like it. it's not my responsibility you go buy a light i'm like are you serious no that was crazy and then you're supposed to pay for the extra luggage but she didn't have the fucking machine to swipe the card so like some woman who was like eating pasta somewhere on her fucking three hour break had to like walk over here it was so it was exactly here's what i said when i said traveling is crazy traveling is insane and what a privilege to be able to travel absolutely but italian airports we never go through this at Malpensa like it's always because that's a busier airport but these small Linate is great but these small airports Italian airports are and I told you that they make no fucking sense and everybody has their head up their ass what about the floors we go to the elevator and it's like departure floors 2 so we go with the luggage floor 2 but the departure was on floor 1 but you gotta check in the luggage so then it's level one we get to level one and then we check the it's like but what about um are you flying like no then that's level zero i'm like i'm coming from level zero why do you guys send me to level it's like that it's like a it's like a it's like it feels like that it's it's ridiculous anyway you remember that i lost it i'm like sorry you send me to the world no but you gotta board the life i see but you see that that woman that does the reenaction the reenactments the comedian should be like ah i found your luggage it is in the middle of the water off the meritorranean ah okay i found your luggage you want the luggage in person i'm selling it to dublin oh you want to take your luggage on the plane no

16:01she looked at me and she said crazy i mean it's not my responsibility i said sorry you so we have four luggage usually experience we don't need to over explain the luggage they will weight all of them and if the weight you know a few kilos is like just redistributed with the other luggage and so i can board all of them no she booked she she sent all of our luggage already down it's already on the plane and there's one luggage left and it was two kilos over two kilos over and she goes you need to buy another luggage it's not my responsibility it's the european protocol i cannot board the luggage so then david had to take out his fucking what did you have to take um duffel bag um thank god you had those jackets in it he just had to take out one duffel bag and then it was just fucking fucking ridiculous i'm sure you've seen a million ads for hair growth products and thought, okay, yeah, but there's just like no way that works.

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20:36Hi everyone. I'm Peyton Sarton, host of the Note to Self podcast. Note to Self is a space to embrace your unique qualities, get grounded, and ultimately have honest conversation. No topic is off limits. I began doing social media seven years ago, and since then I've started a clothing line and this podcast. Note to Self is a place where people from every stage of life can come for advice, new perspectives, and to feel a little less alone. Whether I'm recording by myself or bringing along a friend, we will explore topics ranging from relationships and mental wellness to social media and entrepreneurship.

21:08Tune in to Note to Self every week for the sisterly advice you didn't know you needed and raw conversations you've always wanted. So I asked, I've said this before, I'm going to say it again. I keep getting all these questions about like, why don't you guys move to Italy? And I need to give like a, I think people, I'm going to say this you we it sounds we need to be realistic about this fantasy of what it's like living other places because Italy on vacation is obviously absolutely fucking incredible and I'm sure there are many expats who live there who will tell you how lovely it is to fucking have us you know slow life there and blah blah blah blah blah and I'm very happy for them and that's great but Italy is also, and I hate to generalize, but I'm always too scared of people getting mad at what I'm saying, but this is fucking true.

22:04Italy, this is the most elegant way I can say this, is not the most open-minded country. And they currently have a very right wing, some would say fascist president. So if you want to flee America because of Trump, you're fleeing to the wrong place. You're not going. If you're doing this for the moral standpoint, if you don't stand for what your president stands for, you are going to the wrong country. OK. And it's just not a place. So will we retire there one day? I don't know. I am available to love places for what they are, understand the good and bad of certain places, and be grateful for where I currently am.

22:55You know, if it makes sense for us at some point to move somewhere else, then we will. Do I have a hard time reading the news every single day about what's going on with our president? It makes me sick to my fucking stomach. But is this a country that allows us to start businesses and allowed my immigrant husband to move here and start businesses, even though he could get thrown into a van by a masked man at any given time? You know, you weigh the options. There is a chance of me to get deported. Not that it's fucking funny. What a fucking name where we're living in. But anyway, we take advantage.

23:37So we had a great trip. This was summer 2025, Barangini family trip. Now there's four of us. There was a lot of poop everywhere. Lots of poop. When we, where was the first poop that happened? And I was like, oh my God, where was it? When we got to the Cayman, when we brought the kids to Cayman, Davide took Carlo's diaper off. And then walked away. and I was using the restroom and I walked into the living room and now we can say it. Carlo, we've been sitting on this. You can say life. Carlo shit. And then, and then was just playing, stomping, crawling in it. And, um, that was within, that was like, we had just put the luggage down and I went to use the restroom and he got the kids like, and so there was poop all over the room.

24:31I had to roll up the carpet. Like it was a fucking dead person and put it on the balcony and like, didn't know how to dispose of it. And like, was all my family group chat. Like, should I bring this thing to a dumpster? But like, obviously there's going to be cameras everywhere. So they're going to catch me. Like I was horrified. So there was a lot of like poop moments on this trip. Cause you know, Carmel is not potty trained yet. And, um, so between her like random meltdowns, but we have a, we have a system for her meltdowns. which I have Miss Rachel downloaded on my phone. And so it's just like a matter of not telling her she needs to calm down.

25:12Like you can't say anything. Same thing as any kid having a tantrum. You're not, you can't poke the tiger. You have to say, I'm sorry, you're feeling this way and put on music or something that soothes her. And then I got to give her space. And then when she gets out of, I mean, I do that when we're here, if she's like out of control and like getting dangerous i put her in her room i put on a song i closed the door she knows how to open her door obviously and so i'm like let me know when you're ready to you know join the rest of us that i'm here for you if you need me and 10 out of 10 times she i can hear her taking deep breaths i'll count with her to 10 a couple times because that always soothes her so you know we're able to get her out of it carlo on this trip turned into a fucking bandit out of fucking nowhere criminal he's a criminal full delinquent he's a delinquent full delinquent I don't you know he I have a theory that he was the haircut to give him the macho felt very strong about himself after that yeah he's just a bad he's number one bad boy right now so he you know he needs to feed himself with the fork I can't there's no we were with these people at one point in the trip and she was like oh your son has the fork like she's like I'm not a mom but I but that is that dangerous and I was like you take it from him I was like what like I take try to take the fork from him like I don't know what to tell you like he has a fucking fork and I can't take it and he has to feed himself and if I take the fork it's a meltdown the goddamn high chairs in Italy don't have seat belts so it's like if I took my eye off him for one second he's standing up covered in food fork in one hand bread in the other hand going hey hey across the roaster.

26:53Ha! Ha ha ha! Hey! He's a dick. Oh man. We did, you know, we posted a reel of him getting a haircut in the little barbershop where Davide's been getting his haircut his whole life and his dad and his brothers and the whole family. And that was so special. It was. And I'm really happy we were able to do that. We got there. It was closed. this is this is so fucking a time we get there it's closed nobody really has like hours posted anywhere uh it was four o 'clock and so david i called his dad and he's like oh he's having lunch like he'll be back let me call him calls them uh calls back he's like yeah he'll be back at five like he's got a couple people like come back around six or whatever so we go back and in the middle of the haircut which was so fucking cute he looked the man looked at me and said in italian your husband your davide is turning 37 this year that was and he said it with pretty that was pretty he said it in the most with a big smile on his face and it caused me also a full um Um, existential crisis meltdown from Dami Day over that one.

28:20Yeah. Because he could have said to me, I've been cutting your husband's hair since he was a baby. Or your father-in-law, blah, blah, blah, the family. But he looked at me with a sweet smile and wanted and with a loving smile and was proud to tell your wife that he knew the year that you were born. And that's what I think some, somehow, like, I think is a great, like, and I think I said in the past, but that's, that's when you say like, we're always happy to come back home. and we are we are always happy to go to Italy and it's a privilege to be able to call it home it's a privilege to have our babies with us and it's beautiful we are so fortunate, we are so lucky it's people in your context that make the difference people make places, people make places and that's at the end of the day is what I try to bring, we try to bring in our environment.

29:37So him looking at you that way with my son and my legs. And by the way, you, you went to his, is one of the first places they brought you when I brought you home. Yeah, I've been there before. Also for context, which is really sweet, is he has a mentally disabled son that goes to work with him every single day and sits in there. and it's so sweet to see like that element of the experience because his son is non-verbal but but the dad obviously communicates with him it's really sweet it was really sweet so then if we go going back to what we said a minute ago of course when you experience that or when you experience episodes like that or when you experience something on a human level that, you know, and you never had to be, you, sorry, you, you have, you have been also in hospital.

30:30You have been, uh, we were in the hospital on this trip, obviously didn't post about it. You already had, you know, experiences in, in, in where, in where like the people of that, every institution, like in everywhere you go, you know, you've been with me at the passport of, it's like, there is this pattern or of of humanity there is this line that the link all of all of the italians and then and that makes it that that's what makes it to me so do we live in a beautiful place yet do i do i miss italy paisagistically no i love california i love where we live i love looking at what is out of my window i still miss these days that feeling of they could go from a barber a coffee or by the way i i feel that i think it's the the the word that it's not even good enough to describe it but the word that i think that you would use to describe like you know that feeling is like is community there's also like a nostalgia to that but i feel that on the east coast it's something of there's something about california this is not all of this is not all of california but there's something about los angeles where like people look at you like they know who you are or they like every time you enter a restaurant in la the whole restaurant looks and like stares you up and down they do it to everybody who walks into a room but nobody's like kind it's this like is it i please forgive me this is the far west yeah but it's true so when i say that places hold you know we were on the beach and we are on the beach actually with with the new yorker we were with frank and nino and the muslin and we are looking at the we're looking at this beach next to us is is it was a temple an actual greek time temple like the place has more greek ruins and we are we are all quiet we're all grown up we are eating we are looking outside the restaurant we look each other and it's like it was civilization here like thousands years ago.

32:54The same way, so imagine how many people stop in those coasts. So imagine how that builded. Yeah, energetically it's unbelievable. Correct. Not only existentially, but energetically. And then if you compare that to, I don't know, Scandinavia or South America or Asia, like China let's say, of the Asian country or America, In this case, West Coast, California, a state that is known to be like, basically the human activity that happened here, the opposite of what we experienced. Yeah, absolutely. It was about tracking your land. It was about killing for your land. It was about protecting your thing.

33:43It was about your own family. It was about what's yours. That's stolen land and then people protecting the land that they stole. It's just bad. Correct. I've talked about this with my, I can't say her name, but the woman, my like psychic woman I always talk about. Because I talk about this energy stuff all the time and she's like, you're on land that's like fucking gnarly. So that carries. Yeah. As much as we don't believe it, it carries. The same way you being a parent carries on your kids and eventually it carries on their kids. And it lasts forever and it's for a very long time. so like we've i've born and raised in pasadena for 40 years i mean i lived away for 10 we don't davide doesn't have like a coffee shop that he goes to here and it's not because i'm a dick sorry if i use a strong term no no because then you want to also contextualize thing is like it's not about you know we're going to this cafe and i hate to use we've gone to so many trying to find our place Day two we get to this cafe, right?

34:44We go to this cafe and it's actually a fancy place. It's not a family necessary. The guy understanding of us as a family was spot on. And he treated us spot on. And he's like, the next day, he already, not only understand, it's much better. It's better. Wait, can I tell you what I think the difference is? It just hit me. Go ahead. it takes me a lot of words to articulate it takes me to a lot of articulation but what you just said it just hit me but because of what you said you're articulating well people who work at coffee shops here don't want to do that job not i mean they love they've many people love their job but it's not what they do it's a means to an end they want to do other things if you're a barista in italy that's your job for 40 years literally the guy that we went when we went to katania cafe the guy that there that hugged me at the end he's been working there since you were a baby right so it's a humanistic job but that's what it means it means that if you already right already we say the tsa we say the hospital we say the bar we say the barber the police guy and you say something that i love that when when you when we were almost at the end of our trip and and we never talk about for instance another thing i'm very happy when we share our experience we never talk about food we never say how good the food it is we never say how beautiful it is a bee or a crystal the water was or a hider of a gem one place no we say actually if we will all put some effort on being better people for each other in the place we already live everywhere you are in the world the world is a better place our joke on the trip was like anywhere can be italy if you believe in yourself enough and you and you create a community and listen i understand people go to italy we all do and we're like what this is the fucking it's never gonna be traveling or going anywhere going to how i feel in mexico it's never going to feel the same as where you live people it's normal but my life on a daily basis would be better more enriched more fulfilled if i had a place i could go in the morning with somebody who remembered my name and touched my child thank you and asked her how she's doing at school and remembered my mom's name in my order and then if i went to my guy for my fucking groceries i feel this way at the farmer's market with the guy who remembers us or whatever.

37:23And like, if we had restaurants we were continuing to go to, and I had a lot of that growing up here when I was little, there were like restaurants that we, they're gone now. What? Perfect. Stay wherever. The point is this, what we're witnessing here, which I'm pretty sure, and I hate to say it this way, and I hate to say something strong, I can see already Italy changing. Oh, it is big time. And it's changing through fast food. It's changing to fast fashion. It's changing through content that people have available. It's changing through social media. It's changing through platform communication.

38:04And it's a small process, of course. We're not going to probably witness it in the next... But it's changing. And that's what... Carmela's walking up the stairs. It's almost like a globalization issue. Yeah. Means that the same way we say, oh, if you actually pay attention to how you behave or if you treat people nice and you can be in Italy, you can be anywhere, right? It works also the other way around. If we started to... Not go to Italy and be like, I don't eat like this. Can I have this? To forget that. If you're starting to forget that, every place pretty soon is going to be... The same.

38:46Is going to be the same. Yeah. Because that happens in Mexico too. You see that like... Correct. So we talk about like, oh, I don't know, people want it to be, you know, I want to talk about an Italian restaurant. Okay, dude, what's the link with it? Nothing. I like it. Okay. It's great. And God bless you. But what I'm trying to say, we cannot flatter this world. We cannot make it that everywhere we go, we eat the same thing. everywhere we go we win is a the same we we cannot level the world that way so i love the phrase that anthony bourdain said being a being a traveler being a tourist is is some perfectly i think what we're trying to say and he's i miss him every day no but you know like what i miss i miss people you know what i'm starting missing pp and it's funny you say that about him i'm started missing reference that we used to have.