Laughing, Learning & Growing with My Bestie Whitney

29:52Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like that person is like, and I don't, I don't look, I don't, that's not a judgment to me. I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. Like when I describe one of my really good friends we spend a lot of time with, I'm like, what a fucking beast. Like, look how hard she works. Like she has a number in her head that she wants to hit and like she'll get it. And it's fucking awesome. And like she's so passionate about what she does. Like it's nothing but inspiring. But Davide and I like don't have like a number. We're not like we need to make blah, blah, blah. I have goals, financial goals, because that's responsible for family planning.

30:29and, you know, covering my overhead and like things of that sort. We want to have a house in Sicily one day, but a house in Sicily is not, you know, that's very affordable compared to like living here. Even Davide the other day, we were talking about having a third kid. And I didn't bring up finances, but he was like, you know, we don't have to live here. And I was like, I'm the one that tells you that, dude. You love it here, you know? Like, but our businesses do need to be next to major cities. So we're just in this like, and I know you have these family conversations too, of like, where do we want to be?

30:58And like, what's important? But we don't, we're not people who are like, we need to be hundred millionaires at all. Like, we're very much like, very grateful for where we are and on a good path. And that to me, like success means like, I can pay my bills every month with enough to save every month. And we can go on vacations and our kids can do like sports and camp and activities and we can have a house. And that's like, by the way, a huge goal, obviously. But I think it's important. Like we are around like, like, you know, the people that I like work with all the time and that I'm close with, it's like, there are people who, and that's just like something that, you know, it's just like an interesting thing that we're like, we're really good at remembering like, oh, like, so, you know, I oscillate between wanting to be someone that like has that financial success.

31:57But I also I'm already feel like I'm selling out so much. It's like, how much do I need to like sell out online? What do you mean by sell out? Just like, like, here's my sub stack. Here's my podcast. Here's my, you know, and that's like normal for a lot of influencers. But part of me is like, do you need this much of me? Like, am I? Does it look desperate? You know? Mm hmm. No, I don't feel like it is at all. So, but it's just this interesting world that we're in. Yeah. Of exposure. For sure. It's a reality TV, you know, just like we were talking about. It's like Substack became a thing. And then like, they're like, everyone's like, you should start a set.

32:36It's like, do I like, do you want more of me in that way? But it's like, but people like now it's something I really love. And I love the engagement that I get there. And that's like a different communities being created there. But then the whole thing needs to like land on Instagram because that's this other thing. it's just like a very interesting, it's like just like the way that media works. Like everyone's their own little media empire at this point. Well, just listening to you talk for the last couple of minutes, this word that you use is really popping out in my mind, oscillating. It sounds like you do a lot of oscillating where it's like, don't want to do the Instagram tactics, don't want to sell out, want to live a life of abundance, want to provide for my family, feel like I can't sit down, like I have to be productive all the time, but really want to still stay in this safe space where it's like multiple millions of people's eyes is too much, but a couple hundred thousand is fine.

33:28You know, like where do you land? It sounds like a real ping pong match in your mind. But it's not something that it's not a ping pong match that causes me stress. Okay. At all. That's great. Yeah. I'm just like, like, let's flow here. And like the other day I was like, Davide should have a sub stack and not for financial reasons. I was like, you, everybody. He's a great writer. Everybody loves what he writes. Yeah. And I was like, this is going to be so cathartic for you. And because he doesn't pay himself a salary, I was like, also, if you wanted to put a paywall behind that and like feel good in that way that you are like, that there's a financial value to what you're doing because you're not getting that from Gia right now because he's really responsible.

34:14You know, he's like, I'm not gonna pay myself. And that's like a beautiful thing that he does to sacrifice for the company, you know? So I was like, like, I, like, I know that I could write, like, I'm happy about Substack because I, I used to love writing my blog. It felt like really cathartic for me. And so I'm happy to get back to that on that platform. You know, there's things, they're all things that bring me joy. Yeah. You know, he's a great writer. And I was like connecting with people in that way and feeling value from like, especially from like an ego perspective. And obviously, you know, I could probably say that we're both definitely egotistical people.

34:51So, you know, that stuff like creates a yummy, tingly feeling for me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I feel like you've definitely gotten into a flow state in the last couple years. Tell me if I'm wrong by observation, where you're acting in alignment with how you feel. Yes. And not what you think you should be doing. 100%. I feel awesome right now. Yeah. This is the happiest I've ever been. I can see that. Feels good. I'm happy for you. Thank you. You too. Thanks. I feel that way about a lot of our friends. Yeah, it's great. I'm just like, wow, we have like, everyone's like building families and figuring out their careers or not wanting to have careers and like being and being like proud of that now.

35:35I think that was scary for some of our friends who wanted to like be like, I want to spend time with my kids. You know, it's been like a very beautiful thing, too. And it also comes down to like, I think, an important lesson in surrounding yourself with the right people. But yeah, I feel. Just one more thought on that. And don't get me wrong, because I've watched from the sidelines of your life and obviously have experienced my own first hand, have not always felt this way. Well, yeah, like it was a journey as adulthood, adolescence and adult is, but it does feel good to kind of have figured it out.

36:14It's like the magic sauce of happiness, you know? Mm-hmm. Well, that's why I feel so sad when I see so many young girls that are like, I'm 20 something. And then I'm like, you're just like in, this is like, you're in like the testing phase, you know?

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38:53I want to also get back to like what you do your formula and like talk about that process because I think there's so many people who you could help and I'm like trying to figure out if I want you to do if like we should really do this full stop or if I can convince you to do it with Davide. the energy work. I don't know if he has to be open to it. I know, but he knows, he knows that something needs to, he just like deserves to have time where he's working on his own happiness because he's so busy, you know? Yeah. So he has to want to do that work though. I know. Does he? He's making little, he does like lots of things now.

39:37Like he's also very happy and is in such like a good place, but the work stress, which is what you focus a lot on, gets to him. And so I would like for work, like even for example, me being in a flow state, like four years ago, five years ago, maybe even three years ago, probably like if I were to get an email from a certain person or like a work situation would happen, I would have a spike of cortisol, a spike of adrenaline, formulate a reactionary email, call and talk about it with three people, create a fucking, what's that cartoon character? Tasmanian devil. Tasmanian devil of chaos. And my big reaction.

40:26Isn't it funny to look back at that and be like, whoa. And what it did to my body. Yeah, right. I could feel it in my stomach. It's stuck inside your body. Now I'm like, it's fine. So how did you break that cycle? Therapy, probably. Well, because I thought you just started doing the work with this therapist. No, I was doing a lot with the current one that I have. But I was doing other stuff and just like reading books, talking to my friend. I met her because she's a medium, but she's an intuitive. She's a normal mom. Normal, norm. Just like a full... Many people in her family don't know that's what she does.

41:04Wow. Many people don't. Because why? I think it's probably how I think it's like not something that's like I think it's I think there's like collective consciousness and like that being a possibility is just now starting to be discussed with things like the telepathy tapes and like whatever. But I don't think like an average person from like a Midwestern family, the whole family would be like total. Oh, you can talk to angels. Like I think it's weird. And I think rather than trying to like prove it to your family, it's like this is just like my little world that I do and it doesn't need to belong to anybody else.

41:38and I have I do a lot of I talked to her for an hour yesterday I do a lot of work with her and she's taught me extensively about the immense importance of vibration yeah period right and intention and practice and she'll give me like specific prayers to do and like things and she's like and she always says like the more that you do this the more that you start your day this way the more that you send love to people who hurt you the more that you don't like even will come down to be like hey if you're gonna have this conversation with this person like you can't approach it from a place of victimhood because you won't get the result from that conversation that you want I mean she's really like changed my life because you see your life shift so quickly with these like simple little decisions that you make you just start vibrating higher and higher and higher.

42:29And then lovely things start happening. Yeah. So the coach training program that I went to, I chose it because they had this modality called core energy coaching. And it's this whole framework. There's seven levels of energy. The goal is to coach people from lower levels of catabolic energy where you're experiencing stress, you're full of fear, self-doubt, you've got victim thinking, you're stuck, heavy judgment, big ego. You see the world through the lens of right or wrong, good or bad. So there's a lot of conflict in your life associated with a lot of judgment. And so the goal is to coach people from lower levels of energy into higher levels of energy, where you can tap into your intuition, you can tap into creativity.

43:14Because when you're in those lower stress-induced levels, your body doesn't know the difference between having something stressful happen to you at work or being chased by a jaguar in the jungle. We haven't evolved that much. So you're still releasing the same stress hormones, cortisol, adrenaline that helps you push through the stress. And it's supposed to be a short term push. But so many of us just live in stress all the time. And when you're there, you have myopic tunnel vision so that you can run as you know, you can when those hormones are released, they're actually breaking down the outside of your cells so you can run faster, so you can push through that stressor.

43:55And when you're there, you're not able to creatively problem solve or idea about the future of your life. You're not able to tap into connection with other people or joy. And so the goal through this core energy coaching framework is to right out the gate, have someone take this 80 question assessment online. It tells you what your energetic profile is. This is your energy on a good day. So it's literally a bar graph that shows percentages from one to seven. So cool. And it must be so helpful for people to see. It is just immediately. I'll do a two hour debrief with someone on their results. And so you have your energetic profile and then you have another graph that is your energetic stress reaction, which for most people, the one and two level energy bars are the dominant bars by a long shot because that's where you go.

44:46But sometimes I've had people in their energetic profile, I've had clients who on a good day still have their primary and leading levels in one and two, which is sad. Yeah, it's just not quality. And even level three, which is coping energy, it's just you're just trying to keep your head above that catabolic water and try to like see as much as you can the silver lining of situations, but you're not fulfilled and you're not satisfied. You're not living in a flow state and your mind is repeating negative thoughts so much that you, the volume knob on that is all the way up and your intuition knob is all the way down.

45:27You can't access your intuition. That's how my 20s was. Yeah. I think for a lot of people. Yeah. Just like some people live their whole life though. Yeah. In that space. Yeah. And so I really loved this modality when I learned about it, not to mention when I was in my training, I had to be, I did the assessment, the energy assessment, and then I had to be debriefed by five colleagues after the second. This was when I was at the startup after the second debrief. I was like, oh my God, I have to leave my job. Like there's no option. Otherwise, I'm not happy. I'm just coping in this space. I'm not thriving.

45:58and I knew that yeah but it took doing the debrief after the first time like okay yeah and then the second one I was like holy shit I need to make a major change in my life. I wonder why it is that so many people are okay like being in such an uncomfortable position all the time like and down to like work and then like not advocating for like how we feel it's like my stomach always hurts and I always have these headaches and they don't connect the mind-body connection they don't make that connection or it's that level three space where you're rationalizing staying in a job that's not fulfilling for you because the pay is good or you like your boss or your hours are flexible.

46:36You make up excuses. Also really scary because most people like who is going to support you. Yeah, you don't have that option. It's a luxury. It's a privilege, right? And so and I completely understand that. It's, you know, and when people come to me, they're ready to make a major change in their life and so that's why when you say Davide should do this work he has to choose it he has to yeah he has to choose to to be at that point where they're you're like there's got to be a better way to live than this I know that I can access joy we all want joy it's one of my top five values I think as you were looking through the list go back to the list here I'm gonna have to unlock my phone it's because I don't know it I I am surprised you could probably guess it.

47:206969. Oh yeah, baby. I was having Pia look at this list of values to choose her top five. Because I talk about values all the time. And I even talked about it on a podcast that I need to go through and do it. Because Brene Brown also has her list. Yes. Yeah. I'm sure the lists are similar. And I was like, oh, I need to. So the ones that I have. She's looking at an intake form of mine right now. Because I do values work with my clients right out the gate. A lot of people don't know what their top five values are. And if when you're out of alignment with even just one of your values, something feels off.

47:56It could manifest in your body. It could manifest in your mental health, feeling anxious. Something's off. But obviously the first step is knowing your values. Okay, mine are excellence, beauty, power.

48:12I actually... Romance, sexuality. It's funny that you're teasing about these. because you're like, not no, not no is right. I could see some of those being your values. Okay. Accomplishment. See, values work is really interesting too, because it's, you're in this exercise of choosing your values. It's what you feel in your body, not necessarily what other people's perception of you choosing these values are, right? But there's an interesting interplay there. Yours make the ones that you told me that you had were like so you? Mine are connecting with others, joy, fun, compassion, and personal growth has always been in my top five.

48:51But I've just consciously and intentionally moved it out because I've had too many fucking invitations lately. So I'm like, all right, personal growth can chill for a little bit. Family's getting bopped into the top five. Okay, I would say, yeah, because these obviously, this is something that how often do you think like, I would say this should be like a yearly exercise. You could do it yearly at least every five years, I say. I've had coaches, other coaches tell me that. But it could just depends what's going on in your life. This is your five years makes sense. Okay. By the way, these are not by importance.

49:22This is in alphabetical order. So accomplishment, abundance, connecting to others, joy. And then I have one more and I'm having a hard time picking it because I could, family seems obvious, but to me that could fall under the category of connecting. I don't think so. It's going to be family. Okay. What helped you make that decision? What does family mean to you? Like every, like my whole, everything. So then I was like, as I was saying that out loud, I was like connecting to others. That's a fucking really low bar way to say I love my family, you know? like sure because others that's no that's like strangers you could even i would say say human connection in general i don't know you could include connecting with the dogs you're surely connecting when natal's fart right now no it smells like you know what it smells like piss in here and because chi chi started peeing in our bedroom what are you gonna do about that i say castrate him what's davide say about i joke about he's no he's just trying to mark his area because He loves me.

50:28He's getting older. He doesn't know. I don't know. A lot of empathy for this fucking dog. Okay, should I press next? What's the next thing? I was just visioning. Yes, so in this intake form, there's visioning. So that's my process, I guess, back to the coaching. These are awesome. What are you doing in as many aspects of your life as possible? With whom are you doing it? Where are you living? I really want to do this. What and how do you feel? I love when you do the visioning to because my other friend the intuitive will say this to me too she'll say think about how you're how you feel in that moment it's a big part of manifestation work would you like to have accomplished how much income are you earning what difference are you making in the world what do your senses pick up what are three changes you want to make most in your life and what motivates you this is great it's a helpful exercise for anyone to do For the least judgmental person I know, like if I call Whitney to like express my feelings about a scenario with other human beings, eloquent way of saying like vent or gossip.

51:37Talk shit. Whitney will be like, how does that make you feel? What would you like to see in that situation? What would be the preferred outcome? Like, where do you think that's coming from? And you know what you have done for me that's changed the way recently, and it's in my head all the time, is, and it's freed me from so much judgment, is understanding, like, how other people, you use the example of, like, someone that we love, like, love language. like she likes to receive love in this way so like having that kind of friendship with somebody like I was like oh yeah like that you know like it was very like this is a very like broad scenario but you know how sometimes you'll you're friends with someone and like a new friend pops into the mix and it like switches up kind of like the vibe of the group and some people are like I don't like this new person or whatever but it's like if you think about why that person's like called in that other friendship and view it from that, not like what's happening to you, but like what that friend needs in their life right now, the judgment's gone.

52:51And I love that. Yes, it is difficult, especially when you're feeling jealous, I think, but to see from the other person's perspective. I'm freed of it so much. Yeah. Well, it's freeing the judgment too. Yeah. But even we talked about this last week, like there's been like, you know, as there are many in people's eyes, but like a situation that arose in our friend group and everyone's reacting differently. and if you under if you're like everyone's responses completely correlate with their life experience so instead of instead of being like why is she reacting like that it's like obviously right like think about and not in a bad way it's like no this girl has like never had any trauma in her life like this thing happening is like a really big deal so it just creates empathy for their response.

53:47Yeah, totally. Which is like, and then my response to it has been everyone's perspective is right based on their own life experience. Exactly. So I always think about this with politics, which I don't even want to talk about, but it's like people, like Democrats and like super liberals and super Republicans, like, you know, outside of like an abortion clinic screaming at each other. Like, these are two different value systems. Like, there's no amount of screaming that's going to, the more you scream at that person, then the more they're going to lean into their far left or right zone. Right. So it's like if you had empathy for where they're coming from, then there's room for conversation.

54:25Well, it's also accepting them exactly the way they are and not expecting them to change.

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58:18This is a Tony Robbins quote, which is just... I would love to get into Tony. Tony is the shit. He has a lot of wisdom. And I've used this all the time. Personally, in my coaching with friends, just told it to someone last week. And they took their phone out and wrote it down. What was it? When you replace expectation with appreciation, your suffering goes away. It disappears. Amazing. And there's a lot behind that, obviously, when you have expectation, there's attachment and there's judgment. And so anything that is other than that idea that you've etched into your mind is a letdown or you're disappointed, suffering, right?

59:05Because you're attached to this. And so when you're able to reframe that and replace that expectation with appreciation, like, or acceptance of meeting other people where they are. I think I did a good job of that yesterday with what happened to Carmella at school. Yeah, absolutely. Right. You didn't go in there with games a blazing. And I, like, hugged her this morning and I was like, I feel bad for you. And for context, Carmella started preschool. There's two Whitney kids have gone... or Dom will go, but Luca went to the same school. This is a school that we all adore. And I will continue to send all of my children there.

59:46Like, love this school so much. But human beings are human. And there are two yards for this age group. And the one yard is definitely more Carmela's vibe, but like her class was going into this other class, like altogether. And I knew I wanted her to switch, but like the teachers were like, maybe she should just stay with her people because that's like such a community-based school and like that's a big value of theirs. And I was like, I understand that. Okay, fine. But this yard was like, we walked in, and I was like, this is too big of a yard with like way too many activities. It's a play-based school.

1:00:20And the other yard is like way more quiet. It's like smaller, it's more organized. They do like circle time in the morning. It's just like a totally different, it's so funny because it's two totally different experiences. And so I already was feeling overwhelmed. so I was walking away to put her backpack away and I heard something and then Davide looked at me and was like get over here and so this very sweet teacher who's been there for a long time looked at Carmela and was trying to engage with her and she obviously doesn't respond to people when they talk to her she doesn't use expressive language so she was teaching her something and she didn't respond and the teacher said hello is anybody home or like are you in there or something and Davide lost it sure and Ben ran to it was like get over here and was like did she not did she not know and I was like and I said of course she she has to know Carmela has autism well how of course there's no way there's no way that this school this small school private school would like and so I asked her she didn't know and then I was like oh my god and so now she's panicking poor thing.

1:01:25And then my heart broke for her. And now she's like writing down notes. And I'm like, okay. And instead of reacting in that moment, I told Carmela's ABA who arrived just to be like, this just happened. So like, please like keep a vibe check for today. And I wait, I talked to you and I talked to Sarah and I, we all kind of sat with it for a little bit too. right because like you you and I talked over the course of a couple hours and Sarah too and Sarah called me and she was like you know I actually think that's this something and then you guys talked so I was like okay we're all like a line and you you know are really good about handling like you know giving advice and so navigating politics yeah in hospitals for many years and so So I called an administrator who I love.

1:02:15She's great. And she loves Carmela. And she's very proud that they have an autistic child there. And she, I told her this, and I didn't even want to name names, but I did. Because then I was like, she should, it's not something that should ever be said. And she's not a bad teacher. She just made like a human misjudgment. She was nervous. It was the first day of school. Or it's a breakdown in protocol and process. And then I thought, and so then I, and that's what I said to her. She should have been prepped on every student, by the way. I said from an administrative level, there was a blunder here.

1:02:48Anyway, we had, and I said, you know what? Maybe this happened because I do really want her to be in that other yard. And maybe this is, and my intuition told me that. And maybe this is happened for that. And I said, let's just, we could use this scenario for, to help with administrative functions and to get Carmela to where she needs to be. And she was so grateful. And the teacher apologized profusely this morning and I hugged her. I said, I'm so sorry you were not well equipped for the scenario. and you know what a mom wrote to me on instagram today because i shared it and i didn't want to share because i don't want anyone to like piece together who the school is or because i'm not in that business at all but i well you know when you go on instagram at our age bracket it's like everyone's like first day of schools and like it's first day school is really hard for a lot of people and it's very hard for parents of special needs kids and i ended up on like a really heavy TikTok like rabbit hole the other day of special needs kids going to school and parents taking photos of like their kids in wheelchairs and being like, be nice to my baby.

1:03:55And it's like kids who have Down syndrome and kids who have like tubes, you know, like there's so many different forms that like we're so lucky that Carmela is so blessed to have this on such a minor scale. So I'm like, I'm happy to share it because it did look like we had such a perfect day and it was hard and it's going to be like that for a long time forever. So I'm happy that I shared it. And then, and which is, comes back to my value of connection to others because the responses from people were important to me because a lot of people said I had a horrible day. That's your community right there.

1:04:30It's so nice to see. And then another mom said that her son has really intense sensory issues, no diagnosis, but it's something that they work on. And then he goes to OT. And so she makes a binder to give to the teacher the beginning of every year, explaining what they are, things that he loves, what brings him joy. And then like recent reports from their occupational therapists. And I was like, you know what? I could have done a much better job. I do a good job. I'm not, I'm not going to, I'm not feeling, I'm not like going to do mom guilt here. I see where you're going with this. But I should take a little bit of responsibility for my role here and not assuming that everyone is doing something that I could also be participatory in to create a better environment.

1:05:18That's really mature of you. Thank you. that's that difference between having a level one or level two reaction where there's immediate conflict and anger which I think is where most people would go in the situation and how it was handled no one should ever speak to a child like that by the way is anyone in there that's unacceptable to me I know I hate admitting it because then I said it to the administrator this morning, I told her I'm oscillating using this word a lot. I said, I'm oscillating between the thought that no one should ever talk to a kid like that and just having so much empathy for her.

1:05:55I don't I'm trying to figure out where I because I don't want to be mad at anybody. I don't like this is you going to level three where you're trying to rationalize and then you're going to level four. We're saying, how can I serve this other person in this moment? She's just a human. she's doing the best she can who knows what's going on with her on her face this morning when she apologized to me was was horrible yeah well shannon was heartfelt of course and there was this this whole situation was an invitation for her yeah totally she's learning you're learning you're saying okay i can also take more responsibility and how i can prep these teachers, it's a partnership.

1:06:31I felt I'm very proud of that scenario and how it all happened. And I feel really good about it. Well, and another lesson you had intuition that she should be in the other yard. And so then in retrospect, you're like, okay, well, next time I can advocate more to get her where I know she needs to be. Because I also want, I never want to like ruffle feathers. Why? That's an interesting trait. I know. My mother. So you'll like tip, you'll avoid conflict? Yes. Sometimes I'm so shocked. Not so, because it hasn't happened in a long time. I've had any conflict with a friend in a long time. But sometimes I'm so shocked at the way that certain people are like willing to talk to me when I'm like, I would never.

1:07:22Give me an example. I had a argument with someone I've known for a long time who had a baby and was going through like a bunch of postpartum stuff and like wasn't invited to something here for Davide. But like she and her husband are not friends with Davide. And she like was feeling left out. She had had a baby and like saw it on Instagram and sent me a diabolical novel about being a horrible person. Meanwhile, Davide's like, at no point did either one of these people text me happy birthday.

1:08:00Yes. He was like, all this drama around my birthday. Still nothing. No blessings for Jocobo. He was like, we don't even have fucking, yeah. It was like, and we went to lunch and there was an apology and then empathy on my end for like being a new mom. And like, you know, when you're like a few months postpartum and you think and all you see is like, my life is going to be like this forever. I'm never going to have fun again. Like I'm never getting out of this. You're sleep deprived. Like you're not making rational decisions or hormones are crazy. And so I was like, we don't even need to talk about it.

1:08:33Let's chop it up for what it is. And like, I love you. And we had like, you know, whatever. But I was like, there's no part of me that would ever send a message like that to anybody, no matter how postpartum I was. Making them feel bad about not. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and again, you approach that through a higher conscious, higher level of energy. So speaking of children, another beautiful thing that you're doing in your life, in your career to fulfill your soul and your heart is writing a children's book. And you're doing it with one of our best friends. We've all known each other since eighth grade.

1:09:10Yeah, it's very fun. Sarah, one of our best friends, she's really the creative force and subject matter expert. She has her master's in early child education. And that's where the manuscript for this first book, this is the first book in a series of books. I went up, our kids went to preschool together and I approached her a couple of years ago and said, let's write a children's book together. I think it would be fun. And she said, great, I have an amazing place to start. I wrote a manuscript for a children's book and doing my master's program at Bank Street in New York. This was over a decade ago, so long ago.

1:09:48And so we reworked that and it's a really cute premise. It's a nighttime rhyming story and it's called Everybody Breathes in Dreams. And it's a tool really for the caregiver and the child to use the practice of breath work to prepare your body, calm your body for sleep and the power of visualization to open your mind for dreaming. And the series is going to, so this is Everybody Breathes and Dreams. The next one's going to be Everybody Lives and Learns. And so we're in the illustration phase right now for this first book. And it's so fun. JJ Averuton is our illustrator and she's doing these beautiful watercolors.

1:10:31And it's so fun to see this little project come to life. So it should probably be ready for publication and purchase sometime in the first quarter of next year. I have to tell you how joyful it is for me to receive like text messages from the two of you and be like which cover do you like better like where do you think about like the placement of because I've been in the creative field for so long and then watching the two of you enter like that side of it is like so fun to watch and it's so beautiful and it's so exciting and like what an unexpected sweet thing. It is really sweet. Yeah. And I think it's just nice to know that at any point in your life, you can do magical things.

1:11:16Just be texting each other lines for the book because it's poetry too. What a beautiful stage of your friendship. Really cute. It is very fun. And raising kids together. It's so great. A lot of conflict with that fucking last hangout with kids. Oh my gosh. The kids were really going through it with these Pokemon cards. At one point, everyone was crying. The kids were losing their mind, actually. Carmella had a tantrum that I've never experienced. Finn got mad at the dog. For pushing him in the pool. This dog is two pounds on a good day. The Pokemon card fight was crazy. It was. I was just like, we all had too many kids.

1:12:01Well, and they were all just going back to school. And it makes you, it reminds you, oh, these are little people like dealing with big feelings and a transition from summer back to school. I am very like, I love a big part of us becoming adults and seeing how kids are being raised. It's like very interesting and cool to watch. I told Davide about how you reacted to Luca in LaCarr because you were like, you valid, you were like, they did you dirty. He got tricked. You said that you got tricked is what you said to him because he did. And so you I said to Davide, how would you have handled that? And we went back and forth between saying like, would you say you got tricked?

1:12:46That's what I'm really validating him where Davide grew up being like enough. Get over it kind of thing, which so did I. Right. So I was like, don't get me wrong. I really wanted him to get over it. I know. So I was like, what's the, and this is a whole other podcast, but I was like, part of me, I went back and forth between then he feels so safe to go to you. They needed to learn a lesson not to do that because they ganged up on him and their cousins. So they do that. And this is just normal kid shit. Sure. Of course. So you've vowed, like there was a big lesson for everyone to learn. Although I heard they cried until 9 PM.

1:13:18But then I was like, do you also then like want to also give him the lesson of being like it's just a card game oh wait i forgot to tell you so it was always his card he got it in a gift bag yep and the packet was in his so it was always his card those are fuckers he told us on the way home but still yes there was there were many lessons many lessons tucked in and we didn't get to talk about your baron cheney stuff i can help we can do another episode we should do we'll do another if you want to i can help because i think this was really funny tell them what you're what you're at the forefront of trying to tackle right now yeah i mean i'm about to do like i truly and i remember it goes back to my initial feelings of like launching lpa and being by the way for context 10 years ago when lpa launched there were 10 years there were there were no other there was barely there was not many other like clothing brands now half the people I know have clothing brands and they should and they're all fucking amazing and there's a room for everybody and they're all successful so fucking the more the merrier but I'm only saying that because it was all fucking eyes on me and I was shitting my pants and I was like this is so vulnerable of me like everyone's like there was all this like pre press and me talking about all this thing and like what if it actually is it actually going to sell Like, is it actually going to look good?

1:14:44You know, it's like so much judgment. And so I was shitting bricks. I remember sitting at my old house that I lived in with Ashley and like chain smoking and being like, what the fuck am I going to do? I'm like freaking out, like I'm freaking out. And obviously I don't have that same energy around this, but this is another thing for people to judge me. You know, my scariest thing of my life is a blank canvas. I grew up oil painting and I stopped because remember my ex-boyfriend made that art studio in the garage for me and I never used it. Why? Too scared of a blank canvas. Like I can make clothes because I know what will sell.

1:15:23Right. So I'm like, there's a formula there, which I learned at Reformation. And you know, Doan does a really good job of this, of like introducing new, but maintaining bestsellers and redoing bestsellers in different, like updated prints or like different colors or like we call it Frankensteining where you combine two best sellers. You're just like doing like a really I can almost see it as like a math problem. Even though I'm not. Yeah, it's like a formula. So this is just like I'm fucking I'm nervous. I'm just I'm really nervous. Like what if somebody's like, oh, like that's boring like all this time.

1:16:01And that's what she did. And it's not going to be that way. But I obviously have those insecurities. And then another major insecurity is that I don't know the operations or business side of anything. Tell them what you're talking about. Raising mobile barrancini. Yeah, about barrancini. Doing what with it? Like, I mean, they all know I'm fully like relaunching, raising money, like many product categories. Like this is the brand that I want my children to have. Hopefully they have Giaia and barrancini, but barrancini is our name. so that also comes with a whole different set of responsibilities and nuance when it comes to raising money because there is no exit so if I you know like I have a couple people signed on for equity and then they're like well how do you expect to pay us back one day you know what I mean it's like if there's no exit or there's not these big fundraisers if you want to maintain majority of the company like how does that work so it's these very like and I literally was like I don't know.

1:16:57You tell me, how does that work? I'm very... Ask Brunello. I know. Public... Actually, Davide had a call with their CEO for a long time. This is where mentorship really, really comes into play. I feel very blessed that I have a very good lawyer who educates me and cares about me and loves me and works in this space and is a lawyer for huge... That was a big lesson for you guys. Holy shit. Yeah. Lost friendships with using a cheap lawyer and not, and not. So what my lawyer does that this cheap lawyer we used for Giaia that created a shit storm of a horrible scenario was nobody went over like every page of the contract at that point and said here, this contract states blah, blah, blah, which means here's five different scenarios that are most likely to happen.

1:17:50And here's the outcome based on you having this contract. So now my lawyer will be like, well, this person put this stipulation in. That means that if, but then she'll put in something to make sure that I'm protected, like, you know, this equity vests over this period of time, but if they're not hitting these benchmark goals, then, you know, their equity gets diluted or they don't get that, you know, it's like these like very helpful, beautiful conversations. And then even in terms of like, you know, we're doing like a rebranding And it was a much bigger investment than I had expected. For Baranchini?

1:18:21And it's with somebody that I love. And I was like, wow, we're in big leagues. That's a big price for this. And I... Maybe you should keep these mics a little longer. That's why we have these shitty Amazon$12 mics instead of... And so I said, I messaged two women who run companies that I love and respect. And one of them said, this is going to be on shelves next at Erewhon or Nikki Kehoe or on Moda Operandi sitting next to the most beautiful brands. And this is like a lifelong investment. And she was like, actually, like I asked another creative agency that I won't name that I'm obsessed with that my friend runs.

1:19:06She was like, I asked them to do our branding for double that price. And they laughed at me. Wow. And so, and what got rolled into that is like, is this creative agency is going to do our rebranding? They, in a very honest, beautiful conversation we had, he's like, you know, I will not work on any other brand in this category. Like, that's what you're getting with this price. And I gave him, like, he wanted a little bit of equity. And he, I was like, what, what are you going to do for that? You know? And he said, he's like, you know, I only work with DTC brands and he has for 15 years. And so he's like, that comes with like consulting.

1:19:43He's like, you want to call me 10 times a day? You need a CEO. You need this person. Like, and he works with all the biggest brands. So I was like, he's like, I'm putting that in there because I'm in here for the long term with you. That's great. And he said, have it vest and we'll have these different. So he's like, if at any point you feel like I'm not keeping up, then get rid of it. So it's been these very like cool. I also had a learning situation where somebody came on. I talked about this in the last podcast. and I hired an operator and she was like, he's too expensive. And I had to make the hard decision to have the hard conversation with him and be like, we can't afford you.

1:20:18And that was scary for me to have like that kind of like confrontational conversation. But I was like, I'm in my big girl's shoes now. I have to have uncomfortable conversations. Because I thought back in my life at times where I wish my bosses had had more confrontational conversations with me instead of not and creating resentment or putting us in situations that weren't good for everybody. Just like the preschool situation. Just like the preschool situation. It's all you're learning. That's an opportunity for growth for you. So we had talked about before this is kind of like, and we can do it on another episode is...

1:20:51Yeah, I'm hearing a lot. There's a lot to work with, right? Yeah. The insecurities, the fears, yeah, the blank canvas, but you're already doing it. You're already doing it. And by the way, just observing your energy the last couple minutes as you've been talking about this, you are energized. This is pure energy. I'm really excited. You're excited to grow this. And so run with that. Yeah, I'm really excited. I do think it would be good. We don't need to do it offline. But to do this assessment, just within the context of launching the brand. So I could almost set intentions and manifestations for that specifically.

1:21:31Yeah. Well, it's your whole person. And this is maybe a bigger slice of the pie right now for you. I encourage you to do the assessment. If anyone else wants to do the assessment, they can go to my website, wdcoaching.com and take it there or get in touch with me if you're interested in coaching or you want to participate in a women's circle. I'm about to open another circle soon. That's really the best way to get in touch with me because I'm not too active on social media. There's no DMing happening, but we will put all of that in the show notes. So everybody, thank you for having me. Thank you for coming.

1:22:06All right. Thank you. Love you. Yeah, let me do it.

1:22:14And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes this week's episode of Everything is the Best. I hope you enjoyed it. Please rate, review, subscribe, all that stuff. Maybe leave a comment. Go ahead and follow me on Instagram at Pia Barancini. And I hope you have a fabulous, fabulous rest of your day. Love you. Ciao.

1:22:40Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.