What Investors Really Think When They Read Your One-Liner

0:02So we've got a great variety of panelists here today. and I think that we're going to get a lot of opportunities to see what they think and how they think differently here. I think that maybe the clicker is not connected to the slideshow here, team. If you can try that again. There we go. Awesome. All right. So here's the first one, and this will be a variety of logos, one-pagers, one-liners. I'll read it off because it's just a little bit of a distance from the panelists here, but the company is iBed.com. iBed, solving the trillion, oops, ghost click going on, solving the trillion dollar problem of excess and idle inventory.

0:48What would you rate that? The higher the number, the better the rating, the lower, the worse in terms like would that make you lean forward when you're, if you read that in your inbox or see that on a business card, etc. Alright so we got Todd's interest, so why do you rate it high Todd? so you can see uh yeah a couple things about it initially for me i like the logo it's real simple very creative but i i like a tagline that's short right right to the point not several lines i see a couple of them we've got coming up or a little longer yeah i just want to be able to see that and understand it very very quickly got it uh true i hesitate a little bit on trillion dollar but that's kind of the number that's showing out a lot now right a trillion was a made-up number now it's real right all these companies made of trillion dollars so i'm okay with that i like it got it okay anyone who didn't like it want to share maybe what i didn't like it or anyone with a strong opinion on any of these we won't call on all four so just speak up if you want to share an opinion and i i don't think it's clear about what the problem what the problem is i don't identify as that i think it's uh very generic and i i would like to see i i i agree that the trillion dollar if that's a real number.

1:59If it were specific, if it would say$13 trillion or$33 trillion or$2 trillion, I think it would be more impactful. Right, right. Yeah, I've studied Dr. Robert Cialdini a lot. He always says that a specific number is just proven to be more certified believable, even if that number is an approximation. It's just more believable. Yeah, Jack? I'm also a little bit unclear on the value proposition. Based on the name, I would expect that it's an auction opportunity of some kind. Sure. But when I hear solving the problem of excess inventory, I think just-in-time manufacturing. Maybe it's a consulting group that's focused on just-in-time manufacturing and reducing excess inventory.

2:38So it's, for me, a little hard to decipher what the company is doing. Okay, great. Got it. So some takeaways. Make sure it's clear. And if you're approaching Todd, make sure it's concise as well. All right. capacitate has architected the missing health care control plane enabling continuous AI preventive care to operate safely auditably and at a national scale Todd probably doesn't love the length of that one based on his last comment but let's see what the good news is that the panelists can't easily see what everyone else has rated it so we get some independent ratings here so mr. Halpern, you like that one?

3:16Yeah, well, the reason why I gave it a higher mark is because I love the name. It's the opposite of incapacitate, and since they are in the healthcare, then I think it's a great name, but I also have some bias because Ed presented to us yesterday, and I thought he was very credible, but the reason why I don't give it a 10 is, well, actually, I don't think it's appropriate to say out here okay anyone else want to make a quick comment on that one before i move on to the next it's a lot of big words for me yeah i mean i don't think i'd ever seen an m dash in my life until two years ago and now anytime i see an m dash i just think like oh was it written by ai which is not the end of the world i would encourage you to use ai to write your one-liner i just try to religiously not use it and train my llm at the core system instructions never ever under any case using MDASH.

4:09So I'm just biased a little bit against that, but we'll just add that in there. Singer? I agree. I think it needs to be dumbed down and simplified and describe more what problem they're solving and what they're actually doing instead of architected. It's just a big word that I think gets lost, and I think that this is on a much higher reading level and people that want to look at a one-liner or pitch. They just want a quick, easy-to-understand synopsis of what the company does, not bring it down a couple grade levels. Sure, yeah. I think also, like, for me, an ideal one-liner has one or two credible numbers in it of how many clients you've served, how many years in business, how many employees, how many patents, how much revenue.

5:00And the ideal one-liner says something that nobody else is saying, and they can't wake up tomorrow and say it. It's something no one else can say because no one else has built 150 T mobile stores and had an exit and now has their own family office. It's just unique. All right. Next one here. And let's see here. All right. Self-storage developers. We build institutional-grade self-storage assets in highly undersupplied markets, partnering with publicly traded REITs to deliver our investors double-digit preferred returns, significant year-one depreciation benefits, and a clear, profitable exit.

5:39Any quick comments on this one? Other than the fact that it's long, which is a negative, it does, first of all, the name self-storage, like you say, it's not Wilson developers, it's self-storage, so now we know that it's not biotech. It's still great, so the words are saying all the right things. yeah you know double digit preferred returns the point the point of the one-liner is to get me to read the one pager and the point of the one page is to get me to read the pitch deck so that right if that's the point then this one-liner is going to get me to the next i want to i want to learn more right it doesn't mean it's good but right i would say my comment on this one is that i don't know if you started it this morning or 22 years ago so i just put something in there that's a hard number that someone couldn't just say tomorrow morning and compete against you with the same one-liner.

6:32Jack? Yeah, I like this one very much because it talks to us about where they're building the facilities. They're talking about the undersupplied markets. We're talking about what kind of returns they're expecting. They're talking about what kind of a investment vehicle it is, preferred returns specifically. So for me, it sums up the opportunity very well. Cool. And I think that Mr. Halpern, Singer, were you going to say something? Sure. Actually, I like this one a lot. Other than the fact that I think it's a little too long, it could be made much simpler, saying the same thing. Building institutional grade investments and undersupplied markets partnering.

7:14There's a lot of extra words in there that I think would make it more readable people people want things very simple to the to the point and direct yeah i like the uh i like it part of it and the other part i don't like the logo is great the logo is very creative and clever shows what looks like a lock you're in secure self-storage but again it's what mark was saying too just a little too many words just took from cradle to grave this this says everything that they're going to do for you right i don't think you need to do that in your right just gotta get their attention yeah i do really like the name if you compare that to wilson capital where i don't know if you're doing dry cleaners in nigeria or australia or whatever like this tells you what they do so many investment company names you have no clue what they do right so we're gonna say something else just one very quick comment uh in self-storage i i i the red flag here is highly undersupplied markets sounds great in self-storage my experience has been when you have highly undersupplied markets in self-storage you get new construction the new construction becomes oversupply dynamic pricing kills it and then so believe it or not the words highly undersupplied markets that's usually a really good thing is to me is a red flag got it yeah and i think one good thing to note is that like it's just diversified feedback here just like our clara tool can analyze your pitch deck and give you like feedback from many angles it doesn't mean it's right you might have a one-liner that's amazing for raising capital from doctors and if these investors are not doctors then they're going to say oh this doesn't make sense it's confusing and you totally lost me.

8:41But for your demographic, maybe it's amazing, right? So it's just something to keep in mind. Hi, I'm Richard C. Wilson. Our community has closed over$1 billion of transactions. We have over 16 million registered members across 100 plus LinkedIn groups. And I own billionaires.com and run Family Office Club. Over 19 years, we've hosted 300 live events. I've built 50 of our own AI tools. And between the billionaires I've interviewed, this into millionaires who have spoken on stage and over a thousand decamillionaires who have presented, we've found there's three things that really can build your wealth.

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