Britain has a Cuck Dad and a Bitch Mum: Clement Attlee (Part 1) | Post War British Prime Ministers, 1945-1979

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1:34Good morning, History Tards. It's the start of our biggest series yet. Wow! I'm here with Horatio Ghul. Hello. This is Finn vs. History, and today is episode one on a month-long trudge. Trudge. Is it a long, yeah. A trudge through post-war British prime ministers, 1945 to 1979. Relentless. An audio portrait of managed decline. That's what this podcast was sort of set up for. It is. It's the embodiment of what we stand for. It's a test cricket match. This is a test cricket match in audiovisual podcast form that ends in a sort of, yeah, a loser's draw. Three days get rained off. Yeah. This will be epic.

2:20Is it testing patience? testing the algorithm really going to test the algorithm out with this one we thought you know we just did a live show in Edinburgh Fringe which is very great for everyone who came out but we do want to start cleaving off some of our audience whittle them down do you know what I mean we looked out there and we're like we could probably make this a bit more of an elite group I think so and elite's not the right word what's the opposite of elite well extreme yeah extreme they're extreme elements in terms of smell in terms of throat bits in terms of employment prospects yeah by which I mean they have zero Yeah, like a white Al-Qaeda.

2:52Yes, exactly. The Jihadi John, the Beatles, the Fab Four. But they're just John. But the Jihadi ones, yeah. Yeah, Johnny John. Johnny John. So today we are, we're essentially looking, you know, this is a British podcast. Yep. And rather than trying, famously British, rather than trying to gain new listeners from overseas, we're just doubling down on why is this country like it is? You can't understand Britain without Thatcher, and you can't understand Thatcher without the 70s, and you can't really understand the 70s without understanding the system that collapses in the 70s. Yeah, and people from other countries, when they read about how big the British Empire was, and they see Britain now, and they realise it really wasn't that long ago, it doesn't quite make sense how that happened.

3:41Yeah, how is that country that thinks it's that actually that? And it might be one of the funniest declines of an empire, because normally when an empire declines, it collapses. It's, you know, explosions everywhere. There's fucking famine. There's death. This was just quietly packing up. Yep. Yeah, exactly. Have you got everything? Yep. Yep. Do one more look around and make sure you've got everything. Actually, I think it's fine, actually. I think we'll just go. I reckon we've had enough. We've had enough. We've had enough. We're fucking knackered. Because what stands out for the British Imperial collapse is that at home, it didn't, People didn't really notice that much.

4:18They were like, sorry, we were stationed where? Yeah. Ooga booga where? What? People are dying in ooga booga. No, no, let's get out of there. Let's get out of there absolutely now. It's a portrait of a nation. Yeah. It's, the 70s is, I think, objectively the funniest politics ever been anywhere. It's the, you know, Britain, it's the closest Britain, basically Britain becomes Greece without the weather in the 70s. All the food. All the food. Really, really are. We just have working sewage. It's the only reason. And we barely have that, actually, in the 70s. And it's the long road to Thatcher. How do things get so desperate that we elect a female prime minister?

4:59How is that? On our knees. Mummy, mummy. So that's the sort of scope of the series. We will be dealing in this episode and the next with Clement Attlee. Yeah, one of the two transformative prime ministers of the post-war period. That's what everyone seems to agree is Attlee and Thatcher, isn't it? We're still in Thatcher's Britain in a way. We still have not been able to overturn the changes she's made. But before Thatcher, it was the transformations that Attlee made. So basically, Postwell Britain is a cuck dad and a bitch mum. Yeah. Yes. That's what defines us. And then Blair sort of made it feel good about itself for a bit, but ultimately gave it more issues.

5:37And since then, everyone's gone, well, I'm not fucking touching that. And that's kind of Britain today. But we've still got some of Attlee's stuff today. The NHS welfare state. so it's mummy and daddy it's very damaged though it's an intensely damaged child this this child of ours it's a tired dad oh whatever you want and then a mum who's just right right it's the step mum it's a new step mum that's come in yeah and it's really just slapped clement around the face we can't afford this you're okay fine fine so uh we're gonna start with atlee um and i must say that this is an epic long series the first half of which will be already all on the patreon yeah We can't give it to them all in one go.

6:14The first half will be incredibly boring. They will die. They will die if we give it all to them in one go. They'll eat the whole thing in a month, a month's worth of food in a day. Yeah, they're like dogs. They don't know where their next meal is coming from. So they have to just... And if you'd like to be one of those dogs, it's just£3 a month to lower yourself from human to dog. They are classed as a different species, our truthers. Anyway, Clement Attlee. Right, we've just got something in from Charlie. This is the gender distribution of people called Clement. Apparently it's a male name. It's mainly a male name, but there are a few women called, there are a few ladies, Clement.

6:48Clement is a very funny... Clement. Girl name. I quite like the name Clement. For a girl. I love you, Clement. My wife's called Clement. This is my wife, Clement. Yeah. Could you get Clement Weather, which is, what's that, muggy? Or is it nice? I don't know. I think it means nice, isn't it? I don't know. I've never heard that. No, I've not heard that. You never heard Clement Weather? No, have you heard Clement Weather? Oh yeah, mild. Mild. It's a very Clement day. Mild or merciful? all clement it's a weird the more you say it's i mean there's a there's clementine clementine yeah that's a female name yeah churchill's wife was called clementine yeah wow so what's going on there well join the patron to find out this all this all adds up you know obama's michelle obama's a man maybe yeah kevin attley's a woman who married churchill and then shaved her shaved her head and became prime minister there'll be a lot of conspiracy theories that we'll be starting so clement at lee 1945 to 1951 yeah so what are your views on clement off the off the bat well obviously he's an extremist um he sets up the nhs yeah radical terrorist he's a radical domestic terrorist domestic terrorist who uh thankfully was booted out of office calmly uh no he is sort of like he's upheld everyone because uh james ford mccann who came on this podcast has that bit where he just goes through every prime minister and everyone boos every single one yeah it feels like the only one that people can agree that everyone sort of likes yeah is probably at least and i think it's fascinating when you see he actually he actually did stuff yeah and it's what the left hold on to also at least like well the at least was good yeah that's kind of 70 years well who did you like well he was good it was great but even at the time a lot of people didn't like in the labor party thought he wasn't doing enough yeah and then it's funny that basically in one year they do everything yeah and it's the year literally after the world's in ruins and that seems to be the only year that they can do anything yeah but also they couldn't get back into power because they'd done everything yeah and they'd run out of ideas yeah because it's like what they got it all done and about we did fucking everything we did it in a year and i think also maybe at the time they can't really view it with hindsight the reason why at least so respected is in hindsight so much of his stuff has stayed yes and that's a way of judging how successful a prime minister is.

9:01I guess so. Is how much of it stays in. Because when you talk about Blair, it's like, yeah, for pre-9-11, it was kind of a, he did a lot. Yeah. And he actually did a lot afterwards, but then all of it's pretty much gone. Yeah, apart from the Good Friday agreement. Yeah. Even that's on the edge, really, isn't it? So, yeah, I suppose Attlee's one of the only prime ministers, him and Thatcher are the only two that have actually changed the country long term. But Attlee, when you compare it to Thatcher, is a pretty boring cunt. Yeah, I mean, that's the whole thing, is that he's, him and Churchill, they're kind of during the war because they got on during the war and they were a good partnership it was sort of jack leach and ben stokes yes that was kind of like the combination they had and it feels like it's the most cross-party kind of synergy was during the war where the kind of the impitome of a labor prime minister and the pit of a tory prime minister with church and atlee but then what's quite funny is that when the election campaign immediately after the war which is like it's like two weeks after the war ends churchill just starts uh calling atlee the gestapo just really ramps it up and goes this guy's a nazi but if you're a wartime prime minister that's you want someone who's just calling everyone a gestapo yes exactly but doesn't really work when you're talking about boring domestic reforms that's a guy in a waistcoat likes cricket i don't think he's the gestapo yeah so uh very boring but very radical that's what's interesting about clemen atlee yeah he does so much but he doesn't he's so boring you can't remember who he is really which is maybe why people to this country allowed him to be so radical church a good a shape and shapes clothing uh he had the quote the tepid enthusiasm of a lazy summer afternoon at a cricket match yeah uh he brought that to the fierce struggle of politics yeah so the main events in this in this episode we're going to deal with is what does he do domestically yeah which is as we said is is literally everything yeah he's a domestic terrorist he's a domestic terrorist thankfully yeah uh we'll deal with his his foreign uh his foreign policies in the next episode now we just to give you a flavor of the time uh charlie's just brought up did did atlee hoover no clemen atlee did not hoover uh he was a british politician who served as prime minister thank you ai overview um i don't know if hoover's are around at this point actually and also ai's overview is very confident that they didn't know he did not hoover he is a man seems to be what ai hope you're saying i mean he probably didn't hoover i don't think he was a so British Prime Minister in the 40s British Prime Minister is not hoovering apart from Margaret Thatcher seems to be I think that's when she proudly did it proudly she was the Prime Minister but she was also her wife first that's what the Hoover vacuum cleaners painted the invention in 1908 okay so Hoovers are around yeah but when did when did men start hoovering Charlie when did men start hoovering I guess early 20th century do you guys hoover I hoover yeah Hoover is my favourite chore do you enjoy to hoover I love a hoover I tell you what I like doing I did this weekend is hoovering the the back of the car oh nice that's an absolute fucking minefield yeah cheerio there's genuine mould I've been in your car it's like a failed state it is a failed state it is a failed state collapsed it's entirely relaxed all the institutions have collapsed it runs on petrol and yeah we can't afford to keep filling it up and the back the back of my car yeah is I think I'd rather yeah it's like a post IRA bomb I'd rather live in Eritrea it's like a bus in Guildford just I'd rather live in Eritrea than spend any time in the back of my car my kids are animals they're absolute animals it's haiti your boot is haiti yeah the boot's haiti the back's eritrea we're not here to talk about finn's car are we no we're not so what is life like in britain when attley comes to power okay um the economy is obviously completely fucked do you just place this uh we should place this thank you charlie so 1945 1945 so 1945 is just after Hitler has died.

12:43Yep. And it is... Sorry. Just. Sorry, I'm welling up. Because you are not alone. Not alone. The light will shine on through. Get your lighters out in the car whenever you're listening. Lighters out for Hitler. He's gone. Do you know what? I can see you. You know Elton John doing Candle in the Wind at Princess Diana's funeral. Yeah. I can see you doing that at Hitler's funeral. Like a candle in the wind. But to no one. Candle in the wind about Hitler. Yes. So anyway, Hitler's gone. Yeah. So it's after Hitler. It's after Hitler. It's before Fritzl, right? It is before Fritzl, but I think Fritzl's probably born at this point.

13:26Oh, right. Let's see. So I think it's after Hitler and it is before Twiglets. Yes, before Twiglets. Is it before Twiglets? Let's find out. Because Twiglets are quite enough. Post-Hitler. Now, Twiglets, I feel like they... no it's not it's not before Twiglets Charlie no Charlie it's not before Twiglets Hitler before Quavers Hitler will have known about Twiglets it's before Quavers Attlee's eating Twiglets definitely Attlee's a Twiglet guy I think Twiglets is the most adult crisp because they're fucking disgusting it feels like the germs are flying overhead when you eat Twiglets it feels like ration food yeah you eat one Quavers I always buy it I think oh I like this it's sort of they're kind of Marmite and then I have one and I go Christ I wish I got Quavers Quavers are brilliant though to be fair 1968 68.

14:10So it's prequavers. Post Hitler prequavers. Hitler never saw a packet of quavers. Perhaps it's why. Well, it depends. We don't know if he went to... He was so angry. Who knows? So that's 1945. Post Hitler prequavers. Now the average house price... It's a handshake, I think. It is a handshake. It's a firm handshake in these days. Because avocados weren't invented. Because they weren't spending all their money on brunch. Nowadays, you're just throwing avocados. So house prices are£620. Christ. That's£25 ,000 today. Yes. Unemployment rate is low because everyone has literally just died. Yeah. The price of bread, four and a half pence for a two pound loaf.

14:46Right. I don't know what a two pound loaf means. Don't know. I imagine that's just a loaf. We're basically importing everything we need to eat. Right. And we're exporting nothing. On our knees. We're on our knees. We're absolutely on our knees. Sucking off. And not in the same way that we are in 79. No. So who's in the charts? Yeah. Vera Lynn. We'll meet again. Doris Day. Bing Crosby. My nan grew up with Vera Lynn in East London. Oh, really? Apparently. What was she like? She was very nice. She was a bit older. She more knew her younger sister, but she was just a nice East London girl with bad teeth, I think.

15:18Now, this is interesting. On TV, Brief Encounter, so that's a big moment, there's a show in 1949 called Come Dancing. Yeah, well, you've chosen to say it that way. No, because... Come Dancing. Yeah, well, it's come... It's not come dancing. Well, no, it's strictly come dancing, or it's strictly come dancing. Yeah, I guess. But is that why Strictly is called that? I don't know. Because there was a cum dancing before. Cum dancing. Cum dancing. Cum dancing. No, no, my God. We've got fucking hell. Charlie's going to call it. It's C-O-M-E, Charlie. Right. Yeah. Cum dancing. Terry Wogan. Wow. Cum dancing is a British ballroom dancing competition show.

15:58Okay, so this is the precoast to Strictly. Right. So again, I mean, think of the thread from taking us from nowadays to 1945. Cum dancing is still on our screens. there's still come dancing there's post-war filth immediately but also the best period for British film is 1940s I don't know why that is but the most classic films made and here is our first our first staging post on the way to Britain's decline in 1946 Woman's Hour starts so really it's the beginning of the end we're in the toilet from this point on that's the end of the series well you could argue it's the it's two world wars that destroyed the British Empire or you could argue it's Loose Women we can't not Loose Women Women's Hour this is they're tight women this is tight women's hour loose women's not when loose women doesn't start till what the early 2000s they're letting it all hang out on loose women oh my god it's disgusting it's a disgrace atley atley would have hated loose women yeah but these women are slowly getting loosened every every decade right these are fucking tight women but they every every decade they're getting a bit looser yeah they are they are getting looser that's the story of this uh this series is the loosening of the women the loosening of women women uh 1999 when loose women starts right but it was called it was called live talk and then everyone was like what

17:13live talk live talk um anyway let's get the fittest women of the era this is something we'll be doing every episode just kind of just just again it's it's a portrait and women's being being loosened betty grayball uh let's have a look at okay so this is the beauty standard back then they even if they're young they have the hair that makes them look like nana's yeah but but nana's aren't nana's they're just young women now but people age you see 40 year olds in this period and they look like old women yes and 40 year olds now are doing edinburgh fringe shows about adulting yes yes they are people are adults now this is 40 year olds it's like i'm big baby yeah i've got a big sippy cup yeah i don't know how to sleep at night and they're wearing dungarees yeah yeah they don't own a they don't own a home yeah i'm i this era makes a lot of sense for my 35 i'm 35 right but i'm 35 in 1945 i feel completely out of town nowadays yeah but like yeah women or people headbands gorgeous yeah gorgeous people don't you know an old woman they're not old they're just they're just young in 1945 yeah so they just stay the same oh right so you just get you get old early so actually when you're talking to an old woman you're talking to 1945 and they stay so they look fit for 1945 anyway so Attlee had been Churchill's deputy prime minister in the war cabinet yeah and they'd all got on as you said he's the longest ever serving party leader is he 35 to 55 20 years at the top of the Labour Party right and the big thing that kind of kicks off his mission is in 1942, there's this thing called the Beverage Report, which is like, it's quite hard to think about now, but it's like a bestseller.

19:02What is it? It's like a really dull, dry report on census almost. Yeah, but what would you call it now? It's like a white paper or it's a proposal. Right. A think tank. It's a think tank's white paper and everyone's buying it. It's like 50 shades of grey. Oh my God, people are queuing for the Beverage Report. Fuck. and it identifies the five giants on the road to reconstruction. These are the five pillars of socialist Islam. I mean, this is you just discussing people outside your car window. Well, it's want, disease, ignorance, squalor, and idleness, which as you say, that's why I shout out the window when I drive through.

19:35When you visited me in East London, that's exactly what you're describing. But it's quite funny to translate that into nowadays. It's hungry, sick, thick, lazy, and fat. yeah that's the labor labor government's yeah it's 2000s british tv yeah it's the fattest man in britain yeah it's all of these shows but as opposed to being like isn't this fucking hilarious it's been shouldn't we do something about it yeah but now we talk about this it's just it's on channel five and it's rich yeah there probably is a channel five show called want to see the ignorant squalor and idleness well you know britain's fattest man hosted by richard hammond uh he gets in an animated submarine and goes inside britain's fattest man and they animate what it might look like inside and he's looking at all the yellow fat going what the fuck i mean i guess that's a version of the beverage form that fat guy must have signed it's crazy while that he's on a submarine inside him it keeps cutting back to him eating a a buster uh full english here we go yeah yeah it's crazy so this is kind of the beverage report yes yeah yeah so he's drinking in it.

20:40Imagine signing up for this. We're going to put a camera in your drink while you do it just to make you look. Oh my god. So he's inside and look, there's Hammond. I'm taking my life in my hands. I'm taking my life in my hands. This is crazy. For a human being, that is enormous. I'm sitting engorded with fat. I mean, it's like pate. right pause it charlie so yeah for people who aren't in tv what how they would have done this they would it must have been so convinced of the moral nature of their quest yeah that they will have have to film a lot of that in post yeah they will have had to go into a green screen to get hammered to pretend to be inside there's so many moments where they could question themselves it's not a spare at the moment thing yeah and a lot of hoops to jump through you can really see how the body positive movement, you know, has quite a kickstart to it.

21:41You can see how they swing that pendulum back because it really did get quite, it did get a bit bad. I'm going to pay, I'm going to, I want to use taxpayer money to put a GoPro in someone's beer as we watch this fat guy drinking. And then I'm going to go to a green screen and get into a submarine outfit and call his liver like Patek. I mean, a billionaire submersible, but just looking at a fat guy's stomach. Wow, it's massive. and this is a human not a bear i mean is there any more humiliated than having an animated green screens sequence with richard hammond in there just saying how disgusting you're does he want to lose weight after this guy or is he so this is yeah this is sort of the a 40s beverage report yes yeah yeah and the state basically the beverage report says that the state should look after people from cradle to grave which is a a revolutionary idea because before this it's it's just a wild west yeah uh everyone's fucked but no one you know you have to think of these ideas before they come up it's easy to look back it's jack the ripper's britain basically before this it's just it's the east end who gives a fuck people are just sort of you know waltzing down the east end yeah hitting women for six it's a blood bath no one's in charge yeah they're playing a gentleman going to the east end with a polo mallet yeah just fucking smashing women this episode is brought to you by paypal you know how a mom's bag has everything sunscreen

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24:22So the coalition government ends... But do you know Hitler got a copy of the beverage report? Did he? Yeah, it was such a big book during the war, but Hitler wanted... It was like it had international success. Really? Yeah, Hitler was interested to see what... Wow. So everyone was kind of interested in it. Well, it's crazy. That's like people queuing up, like camping outside Waterstones to get a copy of the Hutton Inquiry. I just can't imagine it now. I'd be there. I'd be there. I'd be going, this is a whiteweser's disgrace. So the election is called two weeks after victory is declared, May 23rd, 45.

24:54Attlee wants to continue the coalition until Japan has been defeated, but he was vetoed. Right. And so the 45 election, as we said, Churchill starts, he releases 1.6 tons of government rationed paper to allow for the printing of extra copies of Hayek's The Road to Serfdom, which equates socialism with Nazism. Oh, right, right. So he's just giving it all. He's like, the people we just defeated, this is what we would be electing. He calls the Labour the Gestapo. And then everyone's just like, I don't think that's not quite chiming with the optimism maybe that we're feeling about a new world. Well, it was a huge shock him losing this election, right?

25:29Because he's the huge war hero and immediately gets voted out. So it always is kind of seen as quite a shock. But I guess it's because he was never viewed as a great peacetime leader because they knew what he was like before. Yeah, because he really, it's only when Chamberlain gets kicked out that the country's ready for Churchill. So Labour proclaims that we're a fully socialist party. We want to build a new Jerusalem in England. Now, the new Jerusalem in the Middle East, that's slightly more complex. And they do build that, but we'll get to that in the next episode. So the general election takes place on the 5th of July, 1945.

26:02The results are delayed until 26th of July so that servicemen who were based all over the world come back and vote. Interestingly, this happens over Potsdam, which is the end of the war conference. So Churchill and Attlee, I think, are over there. Is Attlee over there with him? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because he's such an important member of the war cabinet. Now, apparently, Churchill is basically talking complete bollocks. I mean, he's pissed. He's pissed. But that gets him so far, but it was a bad performance. So Stalin supposedly hated Churchill's dog, Rufus, who had a seat in the commons. And, oh, look at him.

26:36Come on. What is he? That looks like a sort of poodle. I think he's a poodle, yeah. A poodle mix. Like a sort of modern day kind of cockapoo, cavapoo type thing. It feels like Churchill should have had a bulldog because that's just what the car insurance has been. Yeah, dogs look like their owners. He literally looks like a dog. Stalin supposedly hated Rufus and asked for Churchill to stop bringing him, but Churchill just brought him in anyway. And then Churchill discusses the Iron Curtain and Stalin's translator translates it as a metal drape. And then Stalin gets confused as to why Churchill's afraid of a household item.

27:08So anyway, Churchill's performance is very bad. And halfway through the conference, the election results happen. so he just he gets defeated so Attlee then comes and is like the main guy and it's a great photo of him he's just walking around being like fucking hell he sat next to fucking Truman and Stalin and he's got that giddy smile on his face yeah he's like it's like he's a competition winner he's a competition winner it's the definition of imposter syndrome little Attlee's there look at his little face look at his face it's like yeah it's like meet the Prime Minister but he is the Prime Minister so Truman and Stalin and then he's like hello it's be the prime minister what are we doing then what are we doing look at his little face he's so happy yeah giddy little atley little clement clement so clement the uh the labor win 393 297 uh massive uh swing yeah atley is is very surprised and then there's this whole business about how i think even though when labor win there's like there's a there's a coup within the labor party i can't remember who it is someone else is like oh maybe i'll go it might be gate school might be someone else yeah or is it morrison so morrison herbert morrison who is peter mandelson's grandson was he deputy prime minister i think he was it yeah he was yeah but he was high up he he basically's like maybe i'll go and fucking be prime minister well because it because because they won clearly anyone could be prime minister well they just didn't really think they were going to win yeah uh and then but then at least wife is like let's just go there now and meet the king it's basically first of the king gets to be pm yeah first come first serve yeah Yeah, he is first man, first man.

28:39So she drives him to accept the King's office to form a new government. And she drives him everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. But she's a shocking driver. Terrible driver. But this is 1945. This must be one of the first women drivers. Yeah. Is Clemens wife. You've heard of her. She's also an innovator. Yes. And again, an extremist. At least one of the first people to let his wife drive. So can Atlee not drive? Can Atlee drive? Can Atlee drive? No, don't think so. Yeah. But so why was he getting his wife to drive him? But she would get frequent. Yeah, she's fucking knocking over old ladies. She's killing dogs.

29:10She's got frequent fines. It was like GTA driving. Yeah, erratic, impulsive, just mounting the curb, bins everywhere. But that fast driving is what got him there to the king first. And she drives this old banger. Yeah. And Churchill's driving a Rolls Royce. So it's kind of like the man of the people. Flies into Buckingham Palace, smashes him. Hello. Right, so let's go through his cabinet. So you could argue that all the things that get done kind of sort of because he has this amazing. He is a very talented. Yeah. Which how much of that's luck of the draw? If I'm doing this series, looking over research for great governments, it's like, are you just lucky to get the talent that defines everything has to come together?

29:50Trust was unlucky. Trust was unlucky. Because they were just like, fucking hell, she's hot. Of course I work in her government. You know, they're just, they're just drooling the whole time. They can't concentrate anyway. So yeah. Also this is the era of big beasts, isn't it? Which we're not in anymore. What do you mean? political big beasts yes and is that just because uh great historical events make great historical figures possibly i say you have big beasts up until the end of brown's brown's government what's a big beast in your like a like a political you know someone who's just yeah i don't know they're a big beast yeah because it does feel like the talent in politics is is there being away richard bergen is it because is it because there's uh less money in it there's less respect in it uh britain's a less powerful country so it's there's also no new ideas at all so it's just um fabricant he's a beast yeah fabs i thought he was a joke character when i first saw his face he does look like a joke character but he's a real man it feels like he there's a stand he wakes up with with a dummy of him with the wig on yeah it's a take off every morning so at least cabinet you've got ernest bevin ernest ernest and clement ernest and clement yeah ernest clement herbert yeah he's foreign secretary herbert morrison is the is the biggest rival i mean bevan's probably the real ideas guy well no that's Bevan oh fuck there's Bevin and Bevan oh fuck so Bevin is the foreign secretary right Bevan is the health guy who makes the NHS yeah Herbert Morrison uh Peter Mendelsohn's grandfather so is he a kind of is he a sort of scheming gay yeah Machiavellian Machiavellian character Herbert Morrison constantly made attempts so he runs in the family hmm constantly doing like that he's kind of he's all sass at least does something and he goes, yes.

31:36Really? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's doing a lot of that. Yeah. He's like clicking like, yeah. Yeah. Hugh Dalton is chancellor until 47. He's replaced by Stafford Crips, vegetarian teetotaler. Yeah. They're quite a self-serious or steer bunch. Cause I guess this labor government coming in after the kind of, the kind of fuck party, the Churchill kind of era where everyone's these kind of like gin drinking old boys and waistcoats. these guys are quite like serious serious adults who are coming to like do some actual change which is what is weird that it chimes with the country because the country is obviously just you know they've spent four years sucking off soldiers for yorkies in bombed out cities and now they're you know that's what the thing whenever i go all my granny's so uptight it's like she's fucking lived through the war yeah if she wanted some chocolate she had to notch off a fucking constable she's tight now she's tight now so bevan's the real extremist right right and urine fuck and urine and urine earnest clement urine what a weird name bevan bevan and urine bevan nigh nigh welsh welsh yeah and urine that sounds like like a double-barreled first name like an urine and urine and urine pissy and and he's the one with the big ideas right he's the big ideas guy and he came up with the national health service basically so the cabinet members there's a lot of infighting and this sort of start the seeds of the Labour factionalism starts here because you have Gatesgallites who's sort of the, I guess the ancestor of Blair and to the right of the party and Bevanites who's, you know, the idealist, real socialist.

33:14Corbyn, Ben, that sort of tradition. How did Attlee become PM? What did he do in his early life? How was he so boring and yet so successful? Yeah. You know, public school, blah, blah, blah. But he loved his public school as well. Even though he was a socialist, he would wear all the old school ties, would not stop talking about it. He was like a real old boy. Yeah, and that doesn't happen. Nowadays, public school socialists sort of, you know, they're burning their ties to try to hide the fact that it's public school. Whereas at least this guy kind of stood by it. Yeah. Love cricket. You could be a patrician.

33:42Yeah. Which you are, no one's a patrician anymore, are they? What does patrician actually mean? Patrician means that we will, like, guide the country. Yeah. We will help the poor. Paternalistic. Yeah. The paternalistic rich. Yeah, exactly. It's like we will help the poor from our position at the top. we're not going to elevate the poor to us we will no no this is rigidly classed society i find them repulsive they're disgusting they smell they're fat we will hand them down we'll send in richard hammond to examine richard hammond the patrician i'm getting the submarine that's fucking massive you're disgusting you need help i'll help you as a thin rich person so i definitely it should be it's like because we made it so shameful to be from a privileged background it's not like there's less privileged people getting into positions of power what you've created is this the same amount of privilege it's just everyone is doing gymnastics to prove that they're not privileged right i mean that's what that's the problem yeah if you made it kind of acceptable to be born how you're born and it's just the contents of what you do in your life it'd be a lot better than everyone being like well my my dad's best mate is cleaner went to state school yeah all right my dad's butler's working class actually yeah no i did go to private school but wasn't one of the best private school like every especially in comedy everyone is just doing bad no no it's not i'm only posh because my parents are actors we actually really work in class yeah it's amazing what people will do just i mean technically i was raped at public school but we call it fagging so actually if you want you know i'm a victim really i didn't choose to go to the school and you'll be in a room where everyone is privileged basically and everyone's just trying to one-up each other but if you could just accept where you're actually from it'd be a lot better yeah like yeah my dad bought me a house no no i'm not hosting refugees of it no fuck off like that why don't you fuck off i think there's more respect to someone going why don't you fuck off why don't you fuck off yeah it's my house someone worked very hard i don't know who my spare room someone way back worked hard but that's all it took yeah if you if you want a big house maybe your great grandfather should have fucking worked hard yeah yeah why why are we not why are we not all going on the attack for other people's shit great i'm sorry your great great grandfather was a fucking idiot yeah yeah yeah was your granddad a nonce and you get banged up lost all the money yeah i'm not gonna get my spare room to a refugee i've got an exercise bike that needs to go there where's the peloton gonna go um we know when people say my dad'll be up your dad why aren't we saying well my granddad was richer than your granddad and that's why you're fat and thick why don't bring back is that what a patrician is we're a patrician podcast yeah we genuinely are because our listeners are very thick and fat and smelly you're right and we obviously apart from charlie we smell fine so yeah and we're just kind of a pied piper leading them to well you can only you can't lead a horse to water but you can't make a drink we're giving people information yeah we're leaving all this to mountain dew yeah so uh while volunteering in east london attley is shocked by the poverty yeah he's in stepney yeah he becomes a socialist after he realizes that poverty is systemic and not due to character flaws which i disagree with um i'm of the hammond school yeah i'm getting a submarine well you should you're saying there's a new there should be a new myers-briggs test and that's basically how poor or rich you are it's like your personality defines yeah how thick and fat are you and that should be that's directly tied to income yeah so atlee um he fought in world war one and again the story of this whole series politicians pretty much everyone fought in a war everyone is a war veteran everyone is exhausted no one can sleep yeah everyone is drinking to just squash the memories yeah and trying to age so much more than they actually are because it's fucking hilarious because they fought a 30 year old man in 1950 looks like a 70 year old and now yeah because they spent their 20 storming beaches in italy yeah um atley is commissioned as a lieutenant promoted to major in one world one he's carried off the battlefield three times we don't know that's a heroic thing or uh he was so annoying fuck off um the final time he was injured a battle was due to confusion because turks were retreating without the british realizing well because yeah he got injured in gallipoli yeah And it's interesting that Churchill, I wonder if there's anything like that.

37:49It's just Churchill sent Attlee to go get injured, you know, with the failed Gallipoli campaign. Oh, and then they end up being like a sort of buddy. Yeah, that's interesting. He gets shot in friendly fire and a chunk of his buttock is sliced off by shrapnel. So he's got a bit of his booty missing. But he's proud of his war record. His brother is a conscientious objector and imprisoned as a result. Quite right. So he comes into power in 45, having become leader in 35. Yeah, and so because there's a lot of, talented people around him who could have been leader. I think the reason why he came to power over them is because he was kind of the least divisive.

38:23Because of his boringness, you can sort of project a bit onto his baldy head. You can see your own reflection. You can project a film onto his bald head. And the film's really interesting, but the head is very boring. Yeah, he's got a shiny forehead and you can see yourself, your reflection in it. You go, I quite like that guy. Yeah, maybe he thinks like I do. You can see me in his head. God, I can just, I really relate to that guy. Can you, or can you just see your reflection in his bald head? But that's often why the boring people end up in power. It's because they just end up... As opposed to Mikhail Gorbachev, when people are like, what the fuck?

38:51Who the fuck is that? Have I got something on my head? So Attlee, I mean, I think part of the reason is that he's quite a social conservative. Yeah. And yet he's going on this massive campaign of societal socialism. Yeah. So people feel like he's not an extremist because socially... But this was quite common in the era. And I think left-wing politics now, kind of like uh economic left wing is always so tied to social left wing yeah behavior it feels like this was much more common to be a social conservative but want socialized health care yes but then just don't be a fucking but that's um that's blue that's blue labor isn't it now you've seen that there's a fraction of blue labor what's that which is like well well people shouldn't be gay but the nhs should exist right yeah i mean i'm probably paraphrasing but that's kind of what their thing is.

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