Chandler Bing & The Easy Peelers | Feudal Japan (Part 4)

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2:00welcome back to fin versus history i'm with erasure gould uh this is the final part in our four-parter on feudal japan yeah i'll romp through feudal japan i'll romp through the possibly the best attitude to suicide i've encountered so far i was just thinking about seppuku and whether if i committed seppuku though you'd do it it's powerfully honorable in this context and now we've lived in this world for a while i now see it as honorable yes i can't understand it yeah i wonder if the idea of it i'd like but as soon as it goes in i'd lose all my horror yes because you've just disemboweled yourself so it'd be like you know what i'm gonna take my own fucking life oh my oh no oh oh but then you have to move it across oh Yeah.

2:47Because you can't, once you're there, oh no! The whole point, no, but you're coming out of this from a, you're coming out from a Western mindset. Right, right, right, right. Other than the sound, the Japanese. Judeo-Christian sort of, yeah. It's just one long Japanese noise, isn't it? But they're just doing that anyway. That's what I mean. Everyone's saying that anyway. That's them. A guy who just walked in, from the outside, you can hear him just go, and then he sees and he stops. That's him waiting for a bus.

3:15what about the guy with the speech impediment yeah that's what he's doing as he spooks himself oh my god his lisp is awful who's this guy this japanese guy

3:35anyway um if you if you've not if you've not started if you've not listened to the start of this series you might have to to get catch catch some of this and even if you have that might not make sense part four yeah come on start walking to the building on the ground floor you idiots um anyway so we're into uh the edo period in japan yeah um uh there is peace in japan long peace 250 years of peace which means that for once they've stopped slashing each other chopping each other's heads off chopping their own heads off they are still sorry they still are uh and now as when war isn't happening, prostitution and theatre flourishes.

4:13Flourishes. Yeah. And so how is the system so robust? Well, Tokugawa Iemitzu. Yeah. What does I emit? Su. Su. He's the third Tokugawa shogun. I wonder if they ever say that. I emit poo. It's always an easy, if I do a poo jacket, it's a guaranteed laugh from a fit. That's one of the most endearing traits you have. Me and my dad. You can't. I love language as fart. My dad played me blazing sandals when I was about 12. You can't believe it. Anytime there's a full fart joke, Finn cannot believe he's like pig and shit. Yeah, I just love fart. Farting is so funny. It's so funny. Because Charlie likes farting as well.

4:55Yeah, why is it funny? I have thought about this. It's easily why. It makes a sort of toot noise. It smells as shit and it comes out your ass. It's brilliant. Win, win, win. Ding, ding, ding. Funny, funny, funny. Yeah, but is it the fact that you can't control? You're making a trumpet noise out your ass. But you can't control. And it stinks of shit. You're livid about it, though. If you fart, you're livid. I'm livid. You're livid. You do a fart, and then you have to go and stare out the window. I'm furious. You would actually... I've got a speech in bed of it. Japanese speech. It doesn't make sense at all.

5:31I think we've lost whatever... It's the usual journalistic integrity of this podcast. right come on Tokugawa what are you laughing at the poo see look I'm laughing you can't believe it that you had called Tokugawa I'm in its poo it's the purest sweetest thing about food it's not it's so it's so stupid what are you what why have you made that noise now read that read that read that out loud for him. Well, no official organisation recognises bodily function world records. Bernard Clements. Now that's a name. Bernard Clements. That's a Japanese name. That's a Japanese peasant. That's what the peasants are called.

6:21Was that fucking, was it Nigel Boulevard? What's his name? Ian. No, Gordon Crescent. Gordon Crescent, Ian Boulevard. Fuck me. And Brendan Clements. If anyone's just joined now, you've got absolutely no idea what's going on. Bernard Clements of London and is frequently cited for the world's longest recorded farts. Frequently cited? Cited in academic... The footnote, I'd like to footnote Bernard Clemens' record-breaking farts. What's your citation on that? A reportedly lasting two minutes and 42 seconds. However, other unverified claims exist, including one for two minutes and 58 seconds by a person known as Mr.

6:57Charlie. And some sources also attribute the two minutes and 42 second record to Mr. Methane. Right, now Mr. Methane, this is a misnomer. Mr. Methane, he's on the circuit, right? Yeah. He's a fellow UK comedian. I don't know why you're putting it at me. He's on my circuit. You're on the far circuit. There's a black circuit and then the far circuit. Okay, so I do want to draw a distinction. Mr. Methane is a professional flatulentist, right? Yes. Flatulentist? Flatulentist. We've talked about that, haven't we? Because there's Roland the Farter. Yes, Roland the Farter. It's a long line of British flatulentists, but the thing about him is it's actually he's trained his ass to make the noise but it's not real farts so it won't smell of poo it is it's like yeah it's like doing that so I don't know if you can I would I would stick with Bernard Clemens because Mr.

7:47Methane is juicing cooking the books right okay but he's so that guy's trained his bum to make a different sound to a normal fart right so just back to my original question yeah sorry how hard can you customise your farts This is question time. When you say original question, was that from part one? Two weeks ago. Yeah, yeah. I'm still wondering. Right. Like, could you make it sort of talk? No. Anyway, so Tokugawa Iyemitsu Poo, the third shogun. May I just say all of these long farts are all British. Well, thank God. Yeah. Because you've also got to get Ethel Caterham to the top of the charts.

8:28interesting if she also has this record as well the oldest woman with the longest fart now that's that's like holding the that's like the majors you know you win all four majors grand slam yeah that's a grand slam if you get if you get oldest living person and longest fart that's like holding the us open yeah and wimbledon yeah and the australian yeah anyway one can but dream how When did Bernard Clemens die? That's the real question. How old was he? And what did he die of? Holding in a fart problem. Tokugawa Iemitsu, the third shogun. He's the one that formalizes this system called Sankinkotai, alternative attendance.

9:09Right. And this means that if you're one of his mates, one of his little boys, daimyo, whatever, you have to alternate living in your region, your constituency, and then the capital. Year on, year off. But your family is in Edo, so essentially they're hostages. it's similar to the MPs well yeah but except if we made MPs live in their families live in London and Keir Starmer owns all the MPs families as sort of ransomed I guess so I guess that's what's implied so he's just got them he's got them there right right and so if like if Andy Burnham's kicking off Starmer's like your wife and kids are here yeah so get back into line yeah and this prevents the daimio from building independent power bases and ensures a sort of constant financial strength they're always having to travel and they've got to keep two houses yeah yeah um and this stimulates commerce and infrastructure because people are moving around they build like five roads which is a lot of roads i guess yeah um blah blah blah money people are circulating you know the economy starts to boom um and just from commutes from forced commutes i guess so has built a whole economy that's interesting um but it locks the them into dependence on edo which will weakens their autonomy and starts to integrate japan into make it more centralized and that's why tokyo's yeah the thriving metropolis it is today yes where everyone i mean that people still do commit suicide a lot in japan nowadays don't they have a suicide forest you know well yes yeah i do logan paul obviously got cancelled for uh filming someone was in there but they did they just go there and it's like a more holy place to die and then they they'll kill themselves in the forest i think it's just a much more socially acceptable and there's also a lot of people are much more on their own in japan yes so i guess it's just like it's easy to kill yourself um no one cares uh but but also there's a uh you know as we were saying throughout this series the the religious ethical foundation of their code is that life is transient and like sort of more disposable than us in western cultures where you're put so much as the individual you're in god's image yeah whereas this is shinto is about nature it's an animal it's an animalist religion you're part of a system so you can you can die it doesn't really affect anything your reputation means more than your life yes so killing yourself through ritual disembowelment brilliant is brilliant yeah whereas over here we're like what a waste what a waste yeah just have a rennie well there used to be like i think it's now because of mental health we've got much more acceptable of suicide of a Victorian attitude to suicide, you'd be like picketed if you were suicide.

11:51At a funeral, it's an absolute disgrace for you. Did you say that we're much more okay with suicide now because of mental health? Yeah. Should we? We're the opposite. No, we're much more like he was going through something. Oh, right. Isn't it such a tragedy? Yeah. Whereas Victorians would be like, it's a sin, you know, it's a shame on the family. Right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's like the worst thing you can do. Whereas here it's like, brilliant. God. Wow. What a beautiful family. They've all killed themselves. you know like idealized uh version of family on the back of like a cheerio yeah you know that family they're always like yeah like they're all dead yeah but the japanese version is just like the perfect family yeah yeah anyway where are we yes then we get to sakoku uh which is the closed country policy right which is when's this this is this is sort of the whole period so the 16 30s right replace this you haven't placed which replaced 16 30s right so 16 30s it is after Henry VIII dies of gout and then drips through his coffin and his dogs eat him.

12:52Do you know that? No. That's what happened. He was so fat and he was kept in a coffin that his body like exploded in a gaseous sort of funk. Like a whale? Yeah. On a beach? And then it like dripped down through the coffin and his dogs ate a lot of him. Wow. Where did they find that out? Wikipedia maybe? Is that? Fuck, I didn't know that. They had that round back then. I think I did learn that at school well so you know how like when there's a whale on the beach they have to like pop it no Henry the Hates dogs did not eat him this is a piece of folklore and a prophecy from right fair enough well that's ruined yeah don't look things up and you don't have to include that we don't have to include that so it's after it's after that didn't happen yeah it was after yeah after that it was it was after that happened and it was before the guy who made that up said it happened right brilliant okay Perfectly placed.

13:45Perfectly placed. But who's on the throne in the 1630s? He admits poo. No, in the UK. Oh, sorry. 1630s is this? Well, it'll be Charles I. Is it Stuart or James I? Yeah, Charles I. Yeah. Yeah. So it's in the build-up to the Civil War. Right. So between 1633 and 1639, the shoguner issues the so-called seclusion decrees. Right. So they basically, it's like incremental ban stopping the boats, really. uh that big some of the big stop of the boat stop the boat but this is what's fascinating about this is that japan stopped the boats and they do and i'm not i'm not saying that we should i'm not i'm not trying to make this political of course not not a political person but i'm just saying that it's like the buses i'm saying i'm saying that part of the reason they have such a unique distinct you know alien culture that's so different to anywhere else is because the boats are stopped they stop the boats yeah and they they go completely inwards it's like it's allowed to grow so independently britain is a global country from the from the 16th century yeah right uh and so but japan closes shuts up shop and then you know they're doing some pretty fruity stuff with octopuses Japan's a weirdo's basement right that's what I mean no one's checking in on it no one's checking in what are you doing down there what have you been doing that's fucking tentacle porn fucking young boys fuck me come see some daylight yeah no oh he's got a speech impediment but I guess Japan is the argument for and against globalization globalization yeah you know so because they are weirdos but there's some absolute awesome stuff oh they're weirdos they're weirdos but there's some fucking sick shit that comes out of that 1635, the Japanese abroad are forbidden to return.

15:35That's interesting. So expats, you can't come back. The construction of ocean-going vessels is prohibited. So only coastal shipping is allowed. But do you know what's kicked off this really aggressive policy? Yeah, it's two things. So in 1588, when Hideyoshi had done his sword hunt, he tried to ban all weapons. But in trading with the foreigners, the foreigners had been trading guns with everyone. So people could still have guns because of the foreign influence. also we haven't really talked about this but in the when the Portuguese arrived they tried to spread Christianity a guy called Francis Javier right yeah this is what Shogun has got a lot of this Christianity and Nando's and all that shit and Japanese are like we don't like Nando's we've got Karagi or whatever sushi and so Christianity is seen as a rival you know it's a rival religion and so they crack down on Christianity quite hard at the same time so okay because also it's like the country and also they never ended up being colonized.

16:31It probably was the right move at this point to be that aggressive. Yeah, but that's what it means. They're never colonized, but they're always taking elements of other countries and making it their own. Because if you look at other countries in the region, letting like if you look at like India, it's not the region but letting you know, fucking the east of Oxford. East of Oxford. It's all India. Reading, India, Japan. Yeah, anything east of Oxford is India. Anything west is Colombia. The Mughals in India They were trading partners with a lot of Westerns, and then it created grassroots that you could then colonize from.

17:06Yeah, yeah, totally. And because Japan cut even any of that shit off, there was not a foothold to it. So it was probably a smart thing.

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18:09Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. Chronic migraine. 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more, can make me feel like a spectator in my own life. Botox, onabotulinum toxin A, prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. It's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month. It's the number one prescribed branded chronic migraine preventive treatment.

19:06Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more. So can we look at the first weeb? Do you know what a weeb is? I do know what a weeb is. So that's like a white guy. That's my old flatmate. I'm a bit of a weeb for sure. Yeah. But a lot of British guys, especially British autistic men go out to Japan. They absolutely love japanese the the first real weeb i mean look at this look at this 80 90 week that's a nice one yeah yeah look at him let's have a look at that look at his eyes he looks like a look at his eyes original weeb he's got a neck beard yeah of course he does describe it so it's it's it's a fucking english looking bloke that is the composite of our average patron in their chosen uniform throat beard full samurai outfit yeah that is uh one of our patrons at a wedding yeah they've taken their purple fedora off as a mark of respect that's it's black tie is it oh yeah no i know exactly what i wear well this is this and this is what shogun's based on based on james james something first english first english samurai in japan first yeah english william adams navigator arrived in the 1600s so around this time after a ship the lift was wrecked in japan he became an influential figure in the country getting the patronage of that so he became like an advisor.

20:20Let's have a look at his face. First Western Samurai. Yeah. So he is the original weep. Yes, I guess so. So many people have done this since. Is he close to Nobunaga? Yeah, but they kind of... He can't have been because he arrived after he died. He becomes... He's not Nobunaga. Ieyasu. Shogun, they blend a lot of the history. It's Ieyasu, yeah. But they basically use him. He becomes like a member of the court and he's just an advisor. Yeah, yeah. As an aside, I went to the Transport Museum yesterday for my son's birthday and it's mainly kids there. but then you really notice there are guys with throatbeards and fleeces on no kids who are basically waiting to drive the simulators that the kids are on and they're just there like fuck's sake and then it's their turn and they just push through it too this question is yeah no I got recognised recognised a lot can I shake your hand anyway so suddenly there's a kind of paranoid atmosphere about anyone who's christian or portuguese or anything uh and the italian italian missionary giovanni sidotti is smuggled into japan in 1708 interrogated in prison and eventually buried alive yeah we haven't talked about there's a lot of there's a lot of boiling alive actually at this day what the mongols did so i think it's an asian thing oh is it yeah okay i can believe that and that's how you make a it's a hot pot hot pot yeah you just chuck whatever you want own vegetables your enemies italian bloke um so yimitsu expels missionaries bans christianity outright and then he builds a floating um artificial harbor in nagasaki but not like a floating brothel not a floating world okay the opposite of that floating dockyard right right very very real world okay yeah uh that's just outside nagasaki and so the only um trade that is allowed anywhere is from Nagasaki.

22:09But it's like, it's like a open, it's like Guantanamo Bay where it's like international waters. Yeah, kind of. But they only allow It's like a quarantine for stinky foreigners. Yeah, there's like a quarantine of artificial islands where, and I think it's just the Dutch that are allowed to still trade with them. And Japanese think foreigners really are stinky and that's prevalent today. So like, a lot of my friends who went out there, if you sit next to them on public transport, they'll move because they think white people are stinky. Yeah, it's such a racist culture. And what I find fascinating.

22:35But we kind of respect it for its race but that's what i find fascinating is that the the anti-immigration here is viewed as so yeah knuckle dragging yeah and yet in japan it's so anti-immigrant and so racist i think it's because they've been it's more like they've been that's kind of their culture has been so preserved so you understand there's something to protect yeah but here it's globalization is so entwined i know i know it's just it's just fascinating how like if that happens on the scale of racist stinkiness yeah white people are stinky yeah you know we're normally we're looking down we don't realize there's people looking down on us yeah exactly it's like uh it's real us are in the gutter looking up at the stars that's why we stink that's why we smell we're in the gutter japan looking at us going oh um so christianity is outlawed because he doesn't really see it as a religion more as a kind of subversive threat right uh there's a peasant revolt that's mercilessly crushed by the shogunate um yeah so it's interesting that christianity it's so it's already had its hooks yeah in japanese culture it's been there about 100 years yeah i guess this is what the scorsese film silence is about which we'll be reviewing on the patron which i think is an absolute abomination to cinema right so the shogunate there's like a coalition of disaffected ronin and christian peasants they revolt they fortify themselves at harrah castle in minami shabara yep um i think you've got to do the voice you've got i think you've got to do the voice yeah it You can fly over the...

24:04Minimishabara! You can't be like Minimishabara. No. The shogunate respond with 125 ,000 troops, including artillery support from the Dutch. Right, so what I don't understand about this... Well, this is what I mean. It's that... So the Dutch and the Portuguese have been fighting over the East. They're the two big colonial powers in the East. Indonesia, the Spice Islands, all that sort. Those are the two big ones. now what is that why the dutch off you giving their utility to fight a christian peasants because the christian peasants are catholic well i'm yeah they yeah so sectarian yeah celtic ranger sort of stuff well because in shogun the whole the englishman turns up and he fucking hates the portuguese because he's at war with portugal right right right but that's what i mean is that the the japanese are always using foreigners on their own terms so some stuff is does get through yeah so the culture we talked about last episode is obviously the sumo and the boring theater and the prostitutes whatever but when it comes to like medicine a dutch guy arrives they originally find some like um manuals or some scripts on a dutch ship with like western medicine and obviously at this point the japanese are like getting people to walk on nails yeah you know they're giving people dried herbs yeah whatever they love that shit but um the dutch have got western medical knowledge and so the dutch doctors um uh basically start to impress the japanese with the kind of anatomical precision japanese have chinese medicine exactly which is cuckoo land yeah it's like oh give them give them some fucking matcha powder yeah it's quirky yeah it's nonsense yeah um and so but then they start to realize that all the dutch people are getting ill and then surviving and they're like fucking they're going what that's really getting ill dutch people who get ill are then surviving because the dutch have medicine right and the japanese go here right huh uh yeah and then they get the dutch to do an anatomical uh what's it called drawing no dissection dissection and so there's a criminal nice one though called old lady old lady green tea who uh is dissected publicly uh and she reveals the internal organs and all this stuff that contradicts chinese texts and sort of spurs an interest in western medicine now i feel you could have worked that how why they've been chopping each other they've been cutting their guts open for thousands of years how have they not worked out that well in there because maybe because the class of people that deal with their bodies are outcasts yeah so because it's like prostitutes are yeah yeah and then tanners butchers they're all yeah they're all the bomb so i guess all medical knowledge would have been kind of like confined yeah they're just like rambling homeless people the people are saying actually the guts are like this yeah yeah yeah and so the same thing happened with astronomy so copernican theory arrives in in the 18th century.

27:14So this refines calendars. So this is an intellectual intellectual channel called Rangaku, which means Dutch learning. What does intellectual channel mean? Like it's not a TV channel. No, it's like a movement. Right, right, right. Rangaku. Right, right, right. Which is like Dutch. So the Dutch are kind of feeding the Japan bits of knowledge. So it's like Japanese weebs for the Dutch. What's a Dutch weeb? A dweeb. A dweeb. A dweeb. Tori's a shush, Ashos. It's a good Dutch accent. Once a year, the Dutch East India Company representatives would trek 90 days to Edo from Nagasaki, bearing gifts, bound for the shogun, and then departing.

27:58And in return, they retained access to trade and refueling rights. And they were also required to submit annual reports on world affairs. So it's kind of like an intelligence service for the shogun. Yeah, it's interesting. that they're so good at this. Because I feel a lot of countries... If they shut up, shut up. There's more a lot of countries see bits from other people's cultures and don't integrate it successfully. It's interesting. But who are Japan most racist against? Who do they like least? Chinese. Right. No, that's quite English and French. Yeah. It's probably black people. There's so few black people there.

28:38Yeah. Well, yeah. but as in like you didn't even consider it no but I mean well obviously if you put a Jew in Japan there'll be someone who's anti-semitic right you know because people love Jew in Japan a Jew in Japan the Finn Taylor story Jewpan Jewpan but no the Japanese and the Chinese fucking hate each other yeah famous famously yeah all is all might be going well in Japan they've got these theatres they've got these prostitutes the Dutch the Dutch are knocking about cutting old decent it's decent it's class i like this this is all right absolutely man absolutely danny dives there guys is fucking quality you got brasses salt you got theaters you got everything you need here they stick raw fish on rice it's fucking wackadoo here yeah anyway the samurai have been obviously they're now just like they're basically civil servants now they're not warring yeah they've been cucked they've been completely cucked yeah there's a big famine but yeah okay yeah go on we'll go on what were you gonna say well it's just interesting the samurai merchants have been at the bottom of society yes as money becomes much more of a thing and private holdings become much more of a thing basically uh samurai increasingly in debt to merchants yes one is respected kind of warrior class yeah now constantly having to ask money for these bottom of the bottom merchants and so this this power pyramid is sort of changing yeah when you think about the modern Japan and the salaryman and the you know and the boom of Japanese business yeah the merchant is now right at the top of Japanese society but it's a lonely Japanese businessman I mean there's a thing isn't it a Japanese businessman is like a prostitute's best friend isn't it is that a saying it feels like it's a saying that's the lyric from a song I never heard you said that Japanese businessman prostitute's best friend go on photo series of sleeping salarymen Tokyo have you seen this yeah I mean, the Japanese businessman is like a, that's a sort of almost like a memetic phrase.

30:39The Japanese businessman. Yes, yeah. They all dress the same. It's a lonely guy. So these people who'd worked so late, they missed the last train. Yeah, they just fall asleep. It looks all right. It doesn't look that bad. Yeah, it looks, yeah. If you just submit it. It's only because they're Japanese, it looks all right. Do you know what I mean? This is probably a bit racist, but Asians sleeping in public, they make it look a lot better. Yes. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I think if you see a white bloke passed out like that it does not look as fucking chill as a Japanese or Chinese bloke doing it.

31:09I don't even know if that's racism. I think that's just observation. That one looks fucking sexy. It's like that one there in the middle with his legs open. He's got his hand behind his... Yeah, a Japanese bisman getting tugged off in the street. I imagine sometimes. It must be. Yeah, it's not quite the same. Yeah, it's that guy. It's that third one. It's that guy on a fucking Southwest train who's just falling asleep. Yeah, he's got a meal deal. Yeah, it's not as good. But no, I mean, the Japanese businessman is a kind of, you know, that's the prostitute's mark, isn't it? That's who they're after.

31:42Yeah. Wealthy, lonely. Yeah, that's their bread and butter. And also, they're used to paying for companionship because that's just their culture. Yeah, yeah. So there's a big famine in 1833 caused, I guess that must be rice. So the daimyo start to become more powerful. Right. and the shogunate weakens because I guess the daimyo are on the ground and they're trying to help the famines and stuff. So they've got more support from the people. And the merchant wealth starts to destabilize the class system, as you were saying. So there's a call from the Mito daimyo to quote, revere the emperor, expel the barbarians.

32:21Okay. So there's already people are not liking how much foreign trade there is, I guess. Even though there's, you know, foreigners are bad. It's the most conservative country. You can't leave Japan if you're Japanese. That's another thing. You can't leave Japan. Right. Yeah. So anyway. Starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times. Your to-do list may feel endless with new tasks and lists can easily begin to overrun your life. So finding the right tool that not only helps you out, but simplifies everything as a built-in business partner can be a game changer. For millions of businesses, that tool is Shopify.

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34:23pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms. Brussels clean up nicely at Sweet Green. Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweet Green's fall harvest is back on the menu, and the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured. You know what to do. Order on the Sweet Green app. You got to the middle of the 1850s. The interesting origin story of Matthew Perry. Who knew? I didn't know this. Yeah, so this is Matthew Perry before he got friends. Before he became, he was a charnabin.

35:02He turns up on a ship in Japan and he's like, could you be any more Japanese? Could you be any more Japanese? Commodore Matthew Perry. Right. He is an American, captain of the US Navy. Yeah. And at this point, America is you know the steamships so what year is this 1854 1853 1854 America it's just before the Civil War right but basically they think like Japan's just over the ocean so like that's in our backyard we need to we need to make terms with them yeah so this is kind of beginning of the United States and Japan's relationship yeah yeah this is the long road to Pearl Harbor yeah how are they doing now the long road to the night-night bomb how are they doing now as a relationship very good Japan's America's cuck yeah I mean it's in their constitution that they basically americans yeah they folded in american military bases all over japan that they're culturally completely tired and basically they just said they just completely committed to it and it worked out pretty well for them so uh he is chosen by the u.s government matthew perry to open up japan uh and they want to secure coaling stations for american whaling and uh trade in the pacific they need somewhere to um like refuel if they're going to be a global trading power, establish a foothold to compete with the European empires.

36:23So he arrives in Edo Bay, Tokyo Bay, July 1853, with four ships, including two steam-powered quotes, black ships. And he delivers President Fillmore's letter, which demands an opening of ports and the protection of American sailors. And Japan like freaks out. I think, is this the one where he fires fireworks off the, he fires fireworks, it's Independence Day in America. just celebrates it so he just arrives just immediately starts firing fireworks off the front of the ship and so all the japanese looking on like yeah yeah yeah what um because they've never seen gunpowder like this a communal hurt like a million people yeah a million at one go yeah yeah um and also the display of modern steam-powered warships completely shocks everyone because this is the thing they realize they're like oh yeah we've been isolationist we've got no foreigners we got them under the thumb we've got our own culture big fat guys are wrestling we're eating stinky fish brilliant and then someone turns up and you think oh we've actually missed out on 200 years of technological innovation so they're all they're suddenly they're all a bit like fuck yeah we're vulnerable we're a bit vulnerable here perry refuses to meet low-level officials insists on only meeting the shogun or representatives and then a few days after Perry lands Shogun Iwoshi dies right I don't think that's suspicious I don't think so right so he presents diamonds and promises to return next year and he's gonna he needs an answer he wants the Japanese to open up emotionally emotionally he thinks they're too repressed they are too repressed and then Perry becomes there's something about the black ships being like the Japanese think they're dragons or something right okay because they're like breathing fire sure and Perry becomes it's kind of nightmare fuel for the japanese because uh okay he's indicative of like another world yeah um he's depicted in ukiyo-e-e-e-e-e prince ukiyo-e yeah the wooden prince he's depicted as a tengu-like goblin with a comically oversized feature what's the head i don't know which feature that is nose knob features features features yeah because americans are big fuckers they are big fat fuckers yeah jowly yeah uh so in february 1854 he comes back with even more ships he anchors again in edo bay and japanese officials now realize that you they're kind of impossible to resist globalization which is sort of what happens to everyone really isn't it yeah but you have to but also if they didn't adapt they would have got fucked by countries that did yeah like so they They realize they have to kind of chat to the guy.