Cuckolded by Mr Tumble | Claudius (Part 2)

0:12Welcome back to Finversus History. I'm joined by Horatio Gould. This is part two of the Claudius story. We're back in ancient Rome. Now we left off with a quivering disabled man who'd been flung from behind the curtain. As Caligula lay dead on the floor, his baby had been taken off the stumps. And he is made emperor by the Praetorian Guard. Much to everyone's surprise. And this is where, now, Claudius Truthers, claudius conspiracist theorists would say that uh he had a part in caligula's demise well we have no idea what what happened in sequentially in this event because it sort of reads a bit like a myth right you don't we don't know if how much is true all we seemingly do know is that he bribed the praetorian guard loads and loads of money but he had cash ready to go yeah which implies that he was in on a plan yeah to murder caligula the disabled noncy uncle yeah he's not noncy he's not noncy we've got to give him his his juice he's actually a cuckold he's a nonce cuck now that is a combination the very very rare i want to i want to watch you commit pedophilia yeah is that what it is who are you here to watch me are you watching me meet someone here

1:43that's just fascinating the nonce cuck yeah wow who are you here to watch me you're here to watch me meet someone let me let me meet let me meet someone in peace that's great if you're a nonce cuck let us know in the comments i've not i've not even heard of that concept can we get different uh pictures of different cuck um seating arrangements because it's one of my favorite things on on twitter is in in like uh new hotels or like hotel rooms where you find different like the cut command center i've seen the cut command center yeah so there's always the classic where you put your feet up that's a bit more too leisurely yeah yeah this one's great this one's great where you can yeah so that's that means that you can get also yeah that means that you're taking it very seriously an executive cuck chair yeah yes uh well that's when you've got business to do whilst being cuckolded and that's part of the great thing about being a cuck is that it does open up time for you to get on with other things Exactly, yeah.

2:38I don't have to, I can, you know, my wife is being satisfied. Yeah. And I'm being satisfied watching it. But in the meantime, I'm dealing with my emails. As we've said before, the female equivalent is a cuckooine. I can't remember what part of this we came up with, what episode this was on. I guess that doesn't get talked about as much. The cuckooine is the wife of an adulterous husband, the gender opposite of a cuckold. I guess because the cuck, when it's a man, it attacks your masculinity. yes it's very gendered very gendered the notion of the cuck is but but a cuck queen it doesn't feel to attack someone's femininity because it's almost built into femininity you're getting cheated on or like do you know i mean it doesn't seem to be a an attack on your gender no cuckolded if you're a woman compared to if you're a man but i guess if you're being cuckolded as a man what is that doing to the woman it's kind of irrelevant almost isn't it the woman's a prop for your...

3:32What is it, Charlie? In cutqueening, the male is known as the hot husband and the other female is known as the cutcake. The cutcake? The cutcake. Yeah, still pretty objectifying, I think. Cutqueening is often known as hot... Wait, hot husband, is that like hot desking? I guess it is, actually. Yeah. I'm hot husbanding. You're renting out your husband for cutcakes. Cutcakes. Cutcakes is strange. It's too close to cupcakes, which is a child's cake. Yeah. Let's be honest. Cut the cake. Cut the cake. We're not talking about that. We're talking about one of the great cucks of all time. One of the great cucks of all time.

4:06The cuck goat. He was the cuck goat. He was not a nonce cuck. No. But that has whetted my appetite to try and see if such a man exists. Charlie, little task for this episode. Find me an example if one exists of a nonce cuck. Yes. Anyway, Claudius bribes the Praetorian guard straight away. Who make him emperor straight away? So there's clearly some kind of arrangement. and so he gives them 15 000 sestases what's that in modern money i don't give charlie's looking for a non-scar okay we can't we don't know we i think at one point we found out it was pretty much equivalent to pounds but i think that's i don't doubt that that's bollocks um here the first thing he does as emperor is and i devastatingly sad he invades britain yes uh he conquered the he yes he conquers britain he is the you know the whole still when we were at school and we learned about the romans in britain it's claudius yeah it's he's our enemy for sure but the reason why he does it is because he's got an insecure route to power his lineage is a bit wishy-washy he's a loser who drools and laughs inappropriately he wants to he wants to open his kind of tenure with a big alpha male win.

5:22Yes. And he depicts himself in pictures as a sort of rapist. There's like, you've seen this, there's like posters of, would be of him of like Britannia as this woman who's trying to get away from him and he's raping her. But then politically, that was seen as like a brilliant thing. That was seen as like a cool, that's like, that's good PR. Well, again, this, you know, this is the opposite of today, as we've said, in that rape is a positive PR move. Yeah, brilliant. You know. he's not he's not anywhere near he couldn't rape a fucking fly yeah nowadays is that claudius raping britain where's oh right see nowadays you know nowadays that's fucking these days these days that's nowadays except claudius is sadiq khan yeah raping london right with gangbannock banging london with a series of emissions uh policies anyway nowadays obviously any public figure is you know has PR teams to try and distance themselves from any hint of rape it's not a politician with a hint of rape you really don't want any of that enter this brave salmon swimming upstream oh no I rape I'm a rapist vote for me maybe it will work it's a single issue party

6:46yeah he's using rape as a propaganda tool it's extraordinary actually extraordinary i mean we're barely 10 minutes in the concepts we've uncovered nonce cuckery rape as a positive it sort of implies that there would be like a a debate politicians debate when you're going for power and everyone's saying he's not a rapist no i'm a rapist no i'm much more for me i'm the rapist i'm a much more of a rapist than him look look at my manifesto i will rape he says that That is lies. You'll get into power. It's all taught. He will disappoint you. He's all mouth and no trousers. And I mean that. Trousers are staying on.

7:20So yes, he paints himself as a rapist and Britain is his victim. And Romans like this. It's a different time. So let's get into the conquest of Britain. Okay, so he... And at this point, the Roman Empire was... Gaul is under Rome, I imagine. That was Julius Caesar. Yes, of course. so Caesar conquered the Gauls Germanicus his brother had done Germany so the next stage is to go into Britain now Britain at this point Britain is a complete backwater yeah it's crap yes it is it's the north no it's unmetting it to the crap yeah it's north of Oxford and Cambridge is what the whole of the country is basically yes yeah we're in the toilet but for that golden era from you'd say 1815 to 1945 five yeah we have mainly been in the toilet yeah we must not forget that we we had an hour in the sun but really stinky toilet dwellers for most of the time uh but the reason they attack britain as well is because it's not it's not that important a country for anything it doesn't have many resources it has a couple of pearls a bit of tin that's kind of it they're doing it because it's terrifying fish yeah yeah a bit of fish but um they're doing it because it's terrifying and you can gain a lot of honor by conquering it's basically the way they write about britain in the roman emperor is the way that the british wrote about the congo as this sort of like exotic yes wild place that they used to write heart of darkness it's genuinely britain is heart of darkness genuinely and in the heart of darkness that opens when he they're leaving gravesend on the boat because it's going from one mouth of a river to the other mouth of the river yes he talks about the same of the romans coming into the thames oh he actually She makes that link.

9:07So very much so. People in Rome are hearing of this sort of, this jungle of Essex. Yeah. You know. Surrey. Kent. Ooh. Shivers going down the spine. You know, this hot, moist. Yes. Scary place. Dengue fever. Semi-detached new builds. Ooh. Shuddering. Have you had your jabs? Are you going to Suffolk? You know, it's... Yeah. So the invasion begins in 43. Yeah. Should we place this? We haven't placed any. Yes, 43. 43 AD. It is, well, it's 10 years after the death of Christ. Then it's before the first time. It's before Biscuits become part of the Christian church. Before Jesus Christ Superstar. Yes, that's nice.

9:53Yeah. It's 10 years after Christ dies. And you'd say. When was Jesus Christ Superstar? We have to check first. I think it's the 70s. Because it wasn't in that small window after he died and 43 CE. I'm sure of it. Jesus Christ Superstar, I'm pretty sure the original is in the 70s. Right, so there's a long, long, wide berth. 1973. Yeah. That's a lovely cushioning, actually. So, yeah, it's 10 years after Jesus was crucified, and it is 1 ,440 years before the first performance of Jesus Christ Superstar. That's how long it took for the story of Jesus to become a gay musical. Okay, which I think is a good enough time.

10:35Yeah. Now, how long will it take for the story of Muhammad, the sequel to Jesus Christ Superstar? Well, we're not, in the great scheme of things, we're not that far off. Really? We're only, yeah, really. Well, I'm just saying we didn't get a cartoon. We didn't get, really? Really. I think we're about 500 years off. Right. Muhammad Superstar. Muhammad Superstar. Prophet Muhammad Superstar. Type in Prophet Muhammad Superstar. I want to see if there's any short-lived productions, because they would be short-lived. They would be. It's not a long-running, there's no way. as much as the author the author the playwright would be quite short lived as well Prophet Muhammad yeah definitely a more controversial but better probably experience in the Prophet Muhammad Superstar yeah it's a good question Phoebe our researcher just asked how tough would auditions be for Muhammad I mean they'd be closed they would be behind closed doors I'd say that they would not be open you could do some creative staging a lot of silhouette it's not X Factor no yes shadow puppets I'd say probably I saw a production of His Dark Materials where they had a lot of shadow puppets.

11:34That's not what I call the Koran. Don't chop our heads off. Please. Please, we're trying. Okay? I'd love to go to Mecca if I was allowed. Yes. I'm not allowed, apparently. Apparently. Apparently these days. But don't worry, Mecca's coming to London, so it doesn't matter. Yeah. I open my door when I'm in Mecca nowadays. I open my front door. Right. Anyway. Let's go back to it. It's the first conquest of Britain before the Islamic Empire, which we are under now. This is the Roman conquest of Britain in the year 43. So Claudius sends 40 ,000 soldiers across the English Channel. Well, you're not reading the paper.

12:14This just happened 1 ,000 years ago. 25 years ago this week, Al-Qaeda's attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and a United Airlines flight killed almost 3 ,000 people and set in train events that would kill literally millions more in war, the destruction of countries, and the spread of preventable disease. I'm Andrew Harrison, and this week in a special miniseries from The Bunker, I ask experts and eyewitnesses how the consequences of the 9-11 attacks and the war on terror that followed still shape our world. From the rise of the security state, to the tensions that still inflame the Middle East, to the rise of an isolationist America First President who treats his allies with contempt, that's Terror Century, a three-part miniseries from The Bunker, tracing the road from 9-11 to Donald Trump.

13:01Follow The Bunker now on your favourite app. You won't want to miss it. Do you struggle to keep up with the news every week? The Bunker has got you covered. Every Monday, we release Start Your Week, where we go over the big stories to follow in the coming days. And then on Fridays, we have our weekly wrap-up, where we give you the context and the meaning behind the biggest and the weirdest stories of recent days. Search for The Bunker wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe so you never miss an episode. It's time for race rankings. We've ranked Pakistanis high recently, but let me tell you about Karoolean Indians.

13:36Oh, they're performing well at the moment. Listen, they are hot, sexy Indians. They are some hot property. And they are top of my list of my favourite races of people right now. Wow. I mean, this is big news. I mean, you're finding out here that this is the Screen Rock podcast. This is a regular feature we do. We do a bit of race rankings. It's kind of like woke racism whilst talking about social media, really. That's our vibe. Exactly. We pretend that we want to talk about social media. Really, we want to talk about whether we prefer people from Pakistan or Brazil. And right now, Pakistan are winning, baby.

14:05So listen to the Screen Rock podcast, if that's the kind of thing. We'll see you there. And they're led by Aulus Plautius. Right. They're Romans. I mean, we fold like a house of cards, really, because we're all just very thick and ugly and smelly. Yes, we are. And we're wearing rags, and we're like the trolls in Frozen. You know, we're just little people with wide heads. So I think that they're terrified because we look mental. We're Ooga Booga at this point. We are Ooga Booga. The things that shock the Romans about us, that they think are completely barbaric is. Ooga Booga. Ooga fucking Booga.

14:38Was it Stacey Stoulas? Stacey Stoulas. Yeah. Essex Ooga Booga. Ooga Booga. Oi. Pete Wicks and Stacey. Oi, you mugging me off. You mugging me off. You mugging me off. That's how they sound, you know. The things that are completely barbaric about us, the Romans, is we wear trousers. They've never seen trousers before. The Romans? Yeah. They're wearing skirts, of course. They're wearing skirts. And they're saying, who are these... Fascist skirts. What a phenomenon. These fruity fairies wearing trousers. These gay boys wearing trousers. Because that's like a... It's an ancient Britain thing to wear trousers.

15:08Pajama bottoms, basically. Is it? And then also... Are trousers this old? Let's check ancient Britain trousers. It feels like quite a rare thing. And then we have blue tattoos, blue hair. We all look like the Woke Brigade, to be honest. 600 BC. Wow. Trousers are very old. Ancient Britons, yeah. And then moustaches. We all had the ancient Britain moustache. Really? They don't have moustaches. They saw it as very unmanent. They were quite clean shaven, the Romans. Well, there's the ancient Greek beard, which is without the moustache. Yes. And then I guess we're the opposite in so many ways. Ancient Britain moustaches.

15:41Did Britons have moustaches? They used to bleach their... I mean, that's still happening in Essex now. They used to bleach their hair and beards. But do you know what? Because I've always struggled to feel connected to Britain in this day and in this time we're talking about. Why? Pre-Roman. Pre-Norman, really. Pre-Norman, yeah. Well, pre-Nelson, let's be honest. But the idea that we had moustaches and were wearing trousers when the Romans invaded, suddenly I feel slightly more connected to the country. A brewing. Anyway, so they - Thick and ugly people, for sure. No, we haven't changed that much, I suppose.

16:18Now, the Romans quickly gained control of Southeast England. The D-Day landing beaches for the Romans. Yeah, terrifying. Margate. Yeah. What else? Fucking, I don't know. Burgess Hill. Whitstable, Burgess Hill. These names that echo down the centuries. You know, these slaughter sites. Claudius wants the conquest finished quickly. Yeah. He goes to Britain himself. Wigglesfield. Plumpton. Say their names. he arrives on the front at the thames with a herd of war elephants to begin the final march on colchester i think we this is a good time to do a soundscape yeah of uh the the elephant herd arriving in colchester okay oh my god what take him take him George Oga Boca Excuse me Alright Oh my days Wait there's one There's one on the floor Is that What the fuck is that Is that like a fucking big dog Oh my Now you jump on him What Take him You're trying to make it rapey again Yeah You're always trying to make On Soundscapes rapey I thought I was safe with the elephant Because I knew what was going to happen No but then Charlie was like You rape him fucking Weinstein stuff from behind the desk I don't know why we keep doing these soundscapes it's always the same thing yeah but normally he raves you right it's a great subversion on the form so Elephants Storm Colchester I mean you know they're still doing that yeah I don't know if you've ever been there on a Saturday night good lord is it a good town no no I'm on tour there am I don't know maybe I'm not Colchester Arts Centre shout out that's a good venue it's not a good venue Colchester Art Centre it's up there with Swindon Art Centre for me right well with thickies behind in the tech booth some real clawlises on the decks there's a few emperor clawlises working at Colchester Art Centre it's a church it's an off the curb gig and yeah no it's not my favourite also the car park situation is atrocious and the cities have been anyway what is it Charlie there's no public records of pedo cucks.

18:38But I think Beter Bandleson probably was one to be honest. Beter Bandleson. Say his name. Say his name. Beter Bandleson. The nonce cuck. Well, ladies and gentlemen, there's a first time for everything. There will have been some. Yes. But they haven't put the word out. Sure. Yes. Very humble, the nonce cuck. Well, it is. It's a strange fetish to want someone else to assault a child and for you to feel cuckolded by now. Is it worse? Is it worse? I don't think it is worse. I don't think it is. There's something more fucked about it. Yeah. It's certainly just down the line. It's certainly harder to get your head around.

19:18It's more terrifying. It's a complicated concept. Yeah. I suppose we shouldn't think about it too much. Listen. Colchester is pillaged. Eleven tribes surrendered to Claudius and a culture is then called Camelodnum. is the first Roman capital in Britain. Oh, yeah. And so Claudius is then given the title Britannicus, which does not mean Encyclopedia at this point. Yeah. It means conqueror of Britain. So Britain has fallen. Colchester has fallen. There are elephants parading the streets of Colchester. And Claudius then starts carrying on. He goes, the king of Judea dies in 44. And was he the king of Judea when Jesus died?

20:03Probably similar times. I guess so. But now is Judea, is that Israel? Yes. On the map? Where is Judea? Charlie, give us a map of ancient Judea because this is probably where Israel will be in the next hundred years, I imagine. Right. I think it's there. And then this would be King Herod. Okay, so it's a small section away from the coast but between the river, not the sea. But Jerusalem is in that Judea. It's sort of just bordering, I'd say, modern day Gaza, you'd say. But it's interesting here, not to get too political, the kingdom of Israel is a kingdom, but that kingdom does not stretch into Jerusalem or Judea or the kingdom, the Philistine kingdom.

20:46Yeah, which is where Gaza is. And I imagine Palestine comes from Philistine. Does it? Well, it seems so. Are you pro-Philistine? Well, it's interesting that Philistine becomes a slur. Yes, it does. It's for somebody who doesn't read. Is Palestine from Philistine? Very, this is fascinating stuff. This is good stuff. But it is interesting for the territorial claims of Israel that even in their 5 ,000-year-old claims, they are northern. What is that region ever? You know, Judea is still not. Yes. Wow. That's fascinating. So it's pro-Philistine. Free the people who don't read. Yes. Now, what does Philistine mean?

21:22It does sort of just mean idiot, I believe. I think it's uncultured, isn't it? A person who is hostile or indifferent to art culture. Intellectual pursuits. being hostile to art it's quite funny well i am a philistine yeah i am pro philistine and i am actually hostile to art yeah free philistine is get me out of this play it's yes yeah so you're free philistine i will bomb the national gallery in order to free to liberate philistines why where's the etymology of philistine why are they calling these people philistine sorry just to get this a guy at school said i was the least cultured person in school Who's that is?

21:56A guy called Nikola Stojanovic. I will name him. Did you agree with that? No. But you don't consume... I mean, you do. You go to festivals. In the last episode, he just did a deep dive on how he's going to go to the anal action series on a porn conference. Biblical name is Enemies of Israel because they're enemies of Israel. So they've always been enemies of Israel. So it becomes an English insult for an uncultured anti-intellectual person through 17th century German slang. We do need to do the history of... Israel. Yeah, I mean, it's a long one, but seeing as that in the Bible, the Philistines and the Israelis are fighting each other, that's pretty extraordinary.

22:35Wow. So it's basically, it's what Jewish people are calling their enemies. It's Philistines. Yeah. Wow. Phenomenal. Good stuff. Well, an unnecessary tangent, but a fascinating one. And just to reiterate, I am pro-Philistine. Get me out of this art gallery now. Herod dies and Claudius annexes the king of Judea and puts the province under direct control of the Roman Empire. He has a similar thing in Thrace. I don't know where that is. Greece. I feel it's, yeah. Northern Greece. Turkey. By Turkey. Yes, please. Oh, so it's Romania. Bulgaria. It's from, you're going from hair transplant into sex trafficking.

23:16Right. On the map that we can understand. Yeah. So you've got spicy, spicy Jewish stuff. Closing your eyes. Haircuts. Sex trafficking. not today a little cabbage you know I can yes it's the braille map of the world I know where I am it's a bit of Greece as well so it's lazy it's lazy sex traffickers it's the nonce cuck so after the successful campaign in Britain the elephants in Colchester Claudius is at the height of his power and so he passes a decree reducing the authority of the Senate because actually the interesting thing is that seeing as Caligula and Nero these tyrants everyone kind of thinks that Claudius maybe was going to bring back the republic and that he was going to empower the senate but he doesn't and so there is an increase in political violence but he's because he's sandwiched between these two absolute Gaddafi-esque mad cunts he never gets the credit for being bloodthirsty as a prime minister who is Claudius because he's sort of like a like a bureaucratic pen pusher is he a bit of a major underrated you know or is there not one that tracks well you've got Augustus as Blair I guess Tiberius as Heath because of the nonce allegations and then I suppose Caligula is trust it's this frenzy sex crazed period in our history that you know we just went mad for a couple of years and we just elected an absolute sauce pot and then who is maybe it doesn't track well who's our most disabled prime minister Gordon Brown at Douglas Allen.

24:53Brown. Yeah. Maybe it's Brown. Yeah, Brown, because Brown is a technocratic, you know. Yeah. Yes. He's a numbers guy. And people underestimated him and he kind of rode through the ranks, even though Blair should have purged him. Yes. What's fascinating in that documentary is where Blair is kind of, Cherie, the puppet mistress who did 9-11, let us not forget, wearing Tony like a puppet. There's weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. There's weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. We need to be on the back at whatever cost. Right. she says you should get rid of Gordon. Yeah. She does. Of course she does.

25:27Lady with Beth. Fucking minx.

25:31Well done. I'm the wrecked. Well, you've got me on the Cherie Blair now. I've got to pause the episode. We're going to have an intermission where I go and bust one out next door because you brought up Cherie Blair again. How many times? We need to have a sign in the studio saying don't mention Cherie. Then even that would make me think of Cherie Blair. Christ. It's a good thing I've got wearing on my gunt bulging trousers. For your shiri, your anti-shiri busting pants. powerful erection down there. But you can't see it for the amount of girth they've got the iron dome. The cord, the cord dome around my missile system.

26:08Fuck me. Now, speaking of Cherie Blair and minks like puppet mistresses. Yes, my God. God, we've actually got a lot to get through. We've got so much to get through. What is it, Charlie? This is important. Just quickly, Gordon Brown's favourite mane is rumbled thumps and his favourite pudding is crumble. That's not relevant. Rumbled thumbs. Rumbly thumbs. Rumbly thumbs is a Scottish dish, but we don't have time. He also likes, um, No. Kit Kats. Right.

26:35Four finger or chunky? No, come on. Last episode, we brought you breaking news about Eamon Holmes' stroke. This news, this episode, breaking news, Gordon Brown likes Kit Kats. Anyway, and there has been no recorded evidence of there ever being a nonce cuck. More fascinating insights from the scholars at Finferst's history. Now listen, Claudius, the increase in political violence seen under Claudius is actually the doings of his wife. His bitch wife. His bitch wife Messalina. Now, we need to get into Messalina. By the way, he is the first emperor to introduce frisking. What is that? Is that what?

27:13Stop and search? Stop and search. Is this a racial thing? Well, as you say, there's no real racial dynamics in the Roman Empire. so I guess it's just stop and search but it could be ableist couldn't it? do it to the doors not if he's doing it yeah because he's clapped the disabled prime minister the disabled Gordon Brown let's get to the let's get to the wife right the wife Messalina yeah okay we need to get into Messalina who she is what number wife is this? I think this is number four I believe is it? or is it three? just double check because he had one who died on the wedding day yep he had another who he left because she was no longer um politically relevant but also their son had choked to death on a pair age four and now she's got this third one who's an 18 hot piece of ass she's an 18 year old scheming yeah um and i think he's going in saying i'm 50 she's 18 i'm 50 she's 18 i can control her the power dynamics very much in my favor this is an old man taking advantage of a naive girl he's wrong but it's complete it's a reverse owl because she completely yeah drives him like a sherry blair puppet she's the dog he's the rabbit yeah definitely um so messalina is renowned for her political scheming wildly promiscuous uh apparently she would compete with uh the famous roman prostitutes to see how many men they can sleep within a night bonnie bluey bonnie us blue us um yeah bonnie us blue the original bonnie us blue us yeah um it's sex as sport.

28:44Yeah. Now, Claudius supposedly is a bit of a horned dog, as we said. Yeah, they say Woodhorny, tough pocket to be in. Hawking us. Yeah. But he's also very passive and easily dominated by women in his life. Yes. Both politically and sexually. Yeah. Much like Blair. Yeah. So, now, Messalina, she, she attempts to marry her lover, the Senator Gaius Silius, that's his actual name. Mr. Senator Silius. Senator Silius. Which is insult to injury. Yes. To Claudius, I think. Yes, it is. That is a step too far. If I'm being cuckold by a man called Senator Silius.

29:24Yeah. It's like me being cuckold by Mr. Tumble. You know? Yeah, Mr. Tumble. If my wife leaves me for Mr. Tumble, I'm like, well, I can't. This is, I can't face anything. my kid's stepdad is mr fucking tumble i can't i can't compete with that right he's like god to these kids mr tumble i don't trust him though has mr tumble shacked up with a young piece of ass he has he has recently he's been asexual having a rumble in the jungle tumble's rumbled in the jungle he's had he's been asexual for a while and he has been made like like neo in the matrix dodging don'ts accusations right because also being a children's detailer for that long over that many different eras he's 55 and she's 21 oh woof oh woof that's an excellent Mr.

30:17Tumble just so I say I don't really watch a lot of Tumble oh woof she's 21 I'm 55 now your kids love him Mr. Tumble obsessed with him really yeah I don't think I ever watched Tumble's Tumble growing up why would you you don't have kids no but when I was growing up how long has he been going if you're watching Mr. Tumble he's like the He's like the Messi of Kiss TV. He is the go. Yeah. Dumble, tumble, tumble, tumble, tumble, tumble, go! It's him when he's going to bring out a big, big pink hat or something. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Yeah. She's 34. Okay. But still, 21 years of junior.

30:52Still a doubt. How long has he been at the top of children's television, Mr. Tumble? Do you think he's got an anger inside him? Do you think he gets... Yeah, but I think what's quite sweet about this Awu relationship is they both have a love of performing and they both share the stage. it does feel like it's john yoko yeah exactly she will tear him down i think he started september 2003 so were you how old were you in that were you nine was this before or after the iraq invasion as this will be six months after iraq is march 2003 there's maybe a link there what is the link explain it i just think that's it's post iraq britain right so we need it sort of we need our innocence has been shattered you know it's not worked like it did the three times things when get better have stopped getting better release mr tumble so messalina is having an affair with senator silly yeah claudius as if you know one thing is to be cuckolded but to be to but by senator silly so he learns the marriage he orders the execution of both messalina and sillius immediately yeah well this is so i when i was doing the research i did ask chat gpt because It didn't really make sense why anyone would do that.

31:58It makes sense. It's still a mystery. And there's no historical record because it's such an insane thing for her to do. Yeah. It's time for race rankings. We've ranked Pakistanis high recently. But let me tell you about Karoolean Indians. Oh, they're performing well at the moment. Listen, they are hot, sexy Indians. They are some hot property. And they are top of my list of my favourite races of people right now. Wow. I mean, this is big news. I mean, you're finding out here that this is the Screen Rock podcast. this is a regular feature we do. We do a bit of race rankings. It's kind of like woke racism whilst talking about social media, really.

32:32That's our vibe. Exactly. We pretend that we want to talk about social media. Really, we want to talk about whether we prefer people from Pakistan or Brazil. And right now, Pakistan are winning, baby. So listen to the Screen Rock podcast, if that's the kind of thing. We'll see you there. Is everything we knew about warfare changing right before our eyes? The war in Ukraine began with tanks and infantry, now drones, network systems and low-cost weapons wage a battle for dominance.