In short
The episode traces early U.S. intelligence history as a precursor to the CIA, arguing that modern American spying grew out of Revolutionary War espionage, private detective/militia work (especially the Pinkertons), and then WWII-era intelligence structures (OSS), with Alan Dulles positioned as a key future CIA figure.
Guests
Horatio Gould (host/guest co-speaker). No other named guest appears in the transcript.
Guest backgrounds
The transcript does not provide Horatio Gould’s professional background beyond participating in the podcast discussion.
Key claims
Early American spying used “childlike” tradecraft (invisible ink/lemon juice, coded laundry signals, eavesdropping). The Pinkertons pioneered hiring women as detectives (“We Never Sleep,” eye logo) and later functioned as union-busting private force for companies. The OSS is presented as the CIA’s precursor, formed after Pearl Harbor.
Notable examples
Culper Ring; Nathan Hale execution; Pinkerton involvement in the 1861 Baltimore plot against Lincoln; Pinkerton use of reconnaissance balloons; Pinkerton anti-union violence and the “Anti-Pinkerton Law” (1893); OSS origins after Pearl Harbor; Alan Dulles in Switzerland amid WWII and LSD/MK-ULTRA tangents.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOThe CIA and Cultural Commentary
0:32 to 1:01
Discussion on cultural stereotypes and the image of CIA fans.
“Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted.”
The CIA and Cultural Commentary
1:51 to 4:31
Discussion on cultural stereotypes and the image of CIA fans.
“Yeah, now I know a lot of our fans will be more concerned with the FBI, and by that I mean they've got those t-shirts that say female body inspector.”
Exploring the Origins of the CIA
4:31 to 9:10
The hosts delve into the historical context and origins of the CIA.
“Did you have a period where you got into this and it kind of opened your third eye a bit?”
The Culper Ring and Revolutionary War
9:10 to 14:00
Discussion on George Washington's spy network during the Revolutionary War.
“We're here to talk about the early history of the CIA.”
Early American Spying Techniques
14:00 to 15:10
Learn about the early methods of spying used during the Revolutionary War.
“um and they had there was like 700 different like a bit a bit of laundry meant a number and they had 700 different numbers.”
Alan Pinkerton and the Birth of Private Investigation
15:10 to 17:30
Explore the story of Alan Pinkerton and how he founded the first private detective agency.
“Invisible ink, hanging up laundry, blah, blah, blah.”
The Role of Pinkertons in Labor Movements
17:30 to 21:40
Discover how the Pinkertons were used by companies to undermine labor movements.
“And, uh, so initially it's all like other big companies.”
Lincoln's Assassination Attempt and the Pinkertons
21:40 to 24:50
Understand the involvement of the Pinkertons in protecting Lincoln from assassination.
“In many ways, they were building railway track, then lying down on the track waiting for a train to hit them to stop them building railways.”
Civil War Espionage and Pinkerton's Tactics
24:50 to 28:03
Learn about the espionage methods used during the Civil War, including hot air balloons.
“Now, there are rumours that there's going to be an assassination attempt in his life.”
The Pinkertons During the Civil War
28:03 to 30:09
Learn about the role and effectiveness of the Pinkertons as spies during the Civil War.
Show all 24 chapters
Pinkertons in American Culture
30:10 to 31:56
Explore the portrayal of the Pinkertons in media and their real-life actions against outlaws.
“I watched a lot of female body inspector videos about Red Dead and the Pinkertons.”
From Espionage to Labor Intimidation
31:57 to 33:37
Discover how the Pinkertons transitioned from espionage to breaking up labor unions.
The Anti-Pinkerton Law
33:38 to 35:23
Understand the implications of the Anti-Pinkerton Law and its historical context.
“The thing is, if you're in one of those conversations with another person spoken, where you're talking about what's really going on.”
The Birth of the CIA
35:24 to 37:10
Learn about the origins of the CIA and its development during World War II.
“Children should be firebombed, not seen.”
Alan Dulles and CIA Controversies
37:11 to 39:03
Gain insight into Alan Dulles's role in the CIA and the controversies surrounding him.
“and it's just absolutely taking their middle stump out.”
LSD and CIA Experiments
39:04 to 41:31
Explore the connection between LSD, CIA experiments, and the counterculture of the 1950s.
TFL Logo and Perception Alteration
41:32 to 42:01
Discuss the unusual side effects of LSD as it pertains to perception and memory.
“It was there for like three, four years after.”
Exploring Dreams and Old Men
42:01 to 46:10
Discussion about personal dreams and the significance of an old man's appearance in them.
“She also had this little man, this old man that she would see every time.”
Exploring Dreams and Old Men
46:11 to 47:23
Discussion about personal dreams and the significance of an old man's appearance in them.
“Your to-do list may feel endless with new tasks and lists can easily begin to overrun your life.”
The Invention of LSD and its Intentions
48:04 to 48:31
Conversation about the unintended creation of LSD and its original purpose.
“With Apple Card, you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases like groceries, merch, or tickets to the game.”
CIA's Early Operations and Odd Experiments
48:36 to 56:00
Discussion of various bizarre and failed CIA operations during the war.
“So this will become what MKUltra kind of properly looks at, but this is all starting during the war.”
Cultural Judgments and Defenses
56:00 to 59:34
The hosts discuss cultural perceptions and the absurdity of certain defenses in public life.
“I think it's unfair to have an Italian come here and you're judging him for his culture and heritage.”
The OSS and Drug Culture Post-War
59:34 to 1:03:00
A conversation about the OSS's actions during and after the war and the rampant drug use in post-war Berlin.
“The Operation of Strategic Services during the war.”
Formation and Function of the CIA
1:03:00 to 1:04:41
Exploring the establishment of the CIA and its operational failures during critical historical events.
“The deep state up the stinkerton is hard.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen Snacks A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that but for your money Shop, pay, manage your account and earn rewards all in one place And with purchase protection on eligible items biometric security and pass keys you're protected at every step Download the new PayPal app to get started See paypal.com slash protection terms This message is brought to you by Apple Card With AppleCard, you earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases, like groceries, merch, or tickets to the game. Plus, it can be used anywhere MasterCard is accepted.
0:43No matter your team, no matter where you shop, AppleCard is here to help you tackle game day. Apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval, AppleCard is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at AppleCard.com. When you've got a job to do, Lowe's knows how to help you keep it moving. My Lowe's Pro Rewards members save more with member volume discounts on eligible orders through a quote of$2 ,000 or more. Plus, save time with job site delivery on select purchases. Not a member? Join for free today. Exclusions, more terms, and restrictions apply.
1:20Can't be combined with any other discount, including but not limited to contract and or special pricing. Loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions. Details at Lowe's.com slash terms. subject to change.
1:40Welcome back to Finn vs. History. I'm joined by Horatio Gould. This goes right to the very top. This goes right to the very top. Today we're talking about the history of the CIA. This is a very Stone Affair, isn't it? Yeah, now I know a lot of our fans will be more concerned with the FBI, and by that I mean they've got those t-shirts that say female body inspector. That's the next joke I have. I don't know what the... I had that lined up as one of my jokes. Well, every fan is listening to this going, yeah, man, wearing a female body inspector t-shirt. So they're watching videos on the CIA wearing a female body inspector t-shirt.
2:15And they've never inspected a female body in their lives. They are inspecting maybe dead female bodies. Yes. That they've found. right this is this is real uh incel history now yeah yeah i guess so but it's a certain type of incel this is not like norse mythology these are people who think who read this stuff and makes them feel like they know what's going on these are people who think they're more intelligent than anyone else right they're walking around in a shopping center and being like you fucking you have no idea looking at people you don't you don't know wearing a female body inspector t-shirt tucked into their cargo shorts and being like, you fucking sheeple.
2:53And they've got like 20 pen knives around there. Yeah, and it's like, of course the government can do it at once. It's got a populace that has completely, you know, drunk the Kool-Aid. I've got a concrete shed with like 20 cans of tinned mackerel because I know what's about to happen. I know what's going on. Anyone who does any research in the CIA immediately thinks, well, at least I know what's going on. Yeah, the galaxy brain. They see the puppet strings coming out. The American government is a giant squid. it's Spectre from James Bond pulling the strings yeah it's not the man the legend Charlie I think that's a very different type of it that's a dad who's not getting any right right right that's a man so the man the legend t-shirt I don't know this t-shirt you don't know this t-shirt I've never seen this t-shirt I used to have this t-shirt did you?
3:33really? before I even hit puberty as a 12 year old I had a t-shirt that said I have the body of a god brackets Buddha which is quite funny that is quite funny isn't it were you fat at the time? yeah huge that's why it was funny and my parents would be like oh he's got that on again with me little fat cunt if you're fat and you've got that you've got to lean into it you've got to lean into it i had billabong shorts and i had like um billabong shorts that's such fat yeah like i like a wooden wooden surfer like necklace yeah yeah yeah bracelets yeah well this was during the era where surfcore was in right i was fat surfcore that was my vibe i was like elvis films you were Drinking pina coladas on the beach while someone else surfs.
4:14Yeah. I was sink core. I was sinking. There's a lot of t-shirts for this topic. This is a real t-shirt fair. This series is mainly dealing with like the origins of the stuff that I didn't actually know about before reading about it. But later on, which we'll probably do a series later on, the kind of like 70s Cold War CIA. Did you have a period where you got into this and it kind of opened your third eye a bit? My third eye has never been opened. I have two eyes. and then my third eye is my ass. I've got no third eye and anyone who talks about a third eye, I'm like, get out of here. So you never had any of that thing?
4:49You're not watching Noam Chomsky videos about the Grand Area and all that sort of stuff? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm watching Niall Ferguson videos about why the colonies should be grateful for Britain colonising. That's what I'm watching. Everything's actually all right. Yeah. Stop complaining. Shut up. It's brilliant. Stop smoking the herb. Stop chasing the green dragon. that's what i'm watching i did smoke weed for eight years right so i have gone relatively and there's that eight years annoyingly i can't remember anything that i found but i was that's the problem i know that i found the truth i just can't remember what the truth is i got very into noam chomsky and smoking weed at the same time so the kind of thoughts that was having it was like unbelievable late night youtube it's weed and chomsky because for me it's for me it's like whiskey and douglas murray and it's like it's like it's like what's he saying i'm not i'm not the kind of horny evil gay man there's something so oh i find it it's asmr though do you want to fund as well as well yeah him do you see him he went on rogan and there's a guy who's defending he's like well have you been no well then you don't know what's actually going on yeah yeah If I lived in Gaza, they'd throw me off a rooftop for being gay.
6:08I'd fucking love it. I fucking love it. I'd love it. That's why I'm trying to get into Gaza. And we have talked about the Kevin Spacey, Douglas Murray thing. Oh, the speech he makes. Yeah, Murray lets Spacey on. It's absolutely incredible. Douglas Murray's doing a speech to the Oxford Union, and he says, well, I've got a very special guest. Welcome to the stage. He then sits in the front row. Kevin Spacey comes barreling in. doesn't say a word just goes straight into a speech from like King Lear yeah I think it's the end of King Lear everyone's like what everyone's like what and he comes out into the audience comes out into the audience Doug's Murray sitting on the front runner yeah and then he leaves doesn't say a word and here he comes barrelling in
6:52this would be so good at the live pod what have we got Spacey a man we're proud to call a friend yeah and he doesn't no but he what he reads is Why are you gay? Why are you gay? You are gay. You are transgender. He gives the whole speech seriously. Wouldn't that be amazing? We've got Kevin Spacey to read that. Why dost thou seek me out? Why are you gay? But he reads it like this. Why dost thou seek me out? Why are you gay? You are transgender. So yeah, you're drinking whiskey, mainlining Douglas Murray. I'm watching Chomsky smoking weed. Yeah, and I'm not saying I'm drinking Murray's Kool-Aid.
7:32No. I'm not gobbling his cock juice. You just like the vibe. I just... It's ASMR. I'm watching through a window going, what's he saying over there? And then thinking, imagine if I thought, do I think that? What do I think about that? You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not, but I think with the weed smoking and the CIA, it's like, I get it. I get it. I see everything now. This whole fucking stinks. And it's like, but luckily they're on weed. if they were drinking whiskey they'd then by a gun go and do something about it yeah yeah he is amazing how he is I still find him really interesting even though he's the most boring voice in the world I mean peak Chomsky is he says if we were playing by the Geneva Convention every post-war US president would be in jail and then the guy tries tests him the thing about Chomsky no matter what you think he has never lost a debate or come out no one's ever called him up because he knows he's read everything yeah he is the biggest brain brain yeah he's mega mind and he just goes through every single US president from World War 2 and explains all of their war crimes systematically it's about 35 minutes does he know what war crime is though no that's it there you go well not in the Douglas Murray school book of war crimes Hamas Hamas Hamas Hamas I'd love to have Hamas I'd hate if some strong boys from Hamas grabbed me and took me into Gaza anyway enough of Douglas Murray's sexual fantasy about Hamas.
8:59We're not here to talk about. We're not here to talk about Douglas Murray being hot tied by Hamas. We're here to talk about the Hamas. The Hamas bandit, Douglas Murray. We're here to talk about the early history of the CIA. We are. I forgot. Whoa, man. In our next episode, we're going to be joined by a real female body inspector of a comic. The brilliant Jeffrey Asmus, American comedian. He's floated in another female body inspector. We think two, isn't it? I'd say of all the comics whose reels I watch, he's the most likely to have owned female body inspector T-shirts. We're going to be dealing with the Alan Dulles tenure with him, but his name will come up in this part.
9:38This part, we're going to be going right the way back to one of the great tragedies of British history. The great what if. Well, no, it's not the great what if. That's Dunkirk. This is the sort of the big, what would you say? This is the big kind of British calamity. calamity it's in sort of a 9-11-ish thing where they lose the most profitable colony yeah they lose the american uh but is this and it was all downhill for an america you know but is this when america starts to become fat when did americans become fat i don't think because it is george you couldn't be fat british everyone they're all british in a way that's what i mean is how what second what generation is he he'd be like second generation okay right he'd be doing an Edinburgh Fringe Show about his heritage.
10:20About his British dad.
10:26Yeah, so rather than the Nigerian... Yeah, you know, Radio 4 radio player. Come downstairs now. Rather than that, it's come downstairs now. As he'd be doing a voice, a British dad voice. Because that's what, growing up in a British household, you know, a British-American household, it was a real clash of cultures. Yeah, that's true. But when do Americans get fat? Is it... When does anyone get... Is anyone fat at this period? There are fat fuckers in the 18th century. Not really. there's Victorian industrialists and they might be the only people who can afford to be fat. Yeah, they might be the only people who can afford to be fat in the world or African kings.
10:58It's more that fat became poor. Fat was a sign of wealth and then it became a sign of poverty. It was the Overton window. Yeah, it is. So when you were fat, what was it? Well, I guess it was aspirational in middle class. This is the origin of the American spy system. It supposedly starts in the Revolutionary War, in the war to rid, to free itself of the British yoke. But this is when the Americans, the Revolutionary War is when the Americans are like the Taliban. Yes. And we're America. Yeah, we're the good guys. We're the good guys. But they're guerrilla warfare. They're winning via local knowledge.
11:34Charlie, that's really putting me off my stroke. Is that a naked woman? No, that's John. That's John. That's John Brown Minock. He's got a nice pair of tits, he does. And a very, very bad leg. I tell you what if you put him in front of a wicket he's getting out LB no matter where you hit him he doesn't have a thigh gap no look at that foot can we get him off can we get him off we were getting somewhere we were getting somewhere George Washington he sets up the first official organised network of spies in the late 18th century because in the revolutionary war Britain controls New York and so all the British troops all the ships they're coming through New York so he's like we've got to get some people in New York to find out what's going on to help the struggle.
12:16And so he sets up this thing called the Culper Ring. Right. I feel like that's something that Charlie uses on the weekend. A Culper Ring. Yeah, it does sound vaguely like a cock ring for your arse or something. Or maybe a vaginal ring. Yeah, it sounds filthy. Anyway, this uses revolutionary, and by revolutionary I mean like childlike. Yeah, it's those things that you give kids, like an eight-year-old boy. Like for Christmas, a spy set. Sunglasses, but you have mirrors backwards. Do you know what? When I lost my virginity, when I was with that girlfriend, we were 15, her brother, this is before we lost the virginity, but when I'd be like in her bedroom, quotes, chilling out, that was the defense.
12:56What are you doing? Just chilling out there? Just chilling out? Leave us alone. Her brother had been given a spy kit for Christmas. And so he picked the lock and broke in. And we were caught with our trousers down. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. By like a little 12-year-old. Trying to like hack. traumatized just getting to his sister served him right literally it was like click click like mom like that was yeah yeah absolute yeah so he could pick pick blocks with it that's pretty yeah yeah fair enough anyway so like invisible ink so like so what they do is they'd have this system where uh women would hang up laundry and then to put like if it was like pants and they had shit on them well maybe not i don't know making that up maybe they'd have if there was shitty pants on a line then someone be like ah right the british are coming through the north or whatever what if you shat your pants and the british are coming yeah it's like they're like oh that that that spy master shat his pants that's the code they had an indian last night the code he's got he's got a dicky tummy but they'd so messaged into clothes uh like under buttons yeah um and they had there was like 700 different like a bit a bit of laundry meant a number and they had 700 different numbers.
14:07So some poor cunt's going to have this massive book going, right, that's a beige petticoat. That's number 600. That means the British are like having a nap. And how much do you think this helped the war effort? Well, it says supposedly helped them win the war. But I mean, I reckon it was when they got the French involved, probably. But there was some guy called Nathan Hale who the British captured and executed, which is probably the first spy that we executed. That we execute. but do we have a spy service at this point because i guess it was yeah it was just because a lot of it was inspired by the fact that they were so technologically behind the british because they are the they're the taliban yeah they are the taliban so mi6 they have local knowledge and that's all they got yeah and they're farmers and um yeah so 4th of july 1909 independence day for the americans that's when mi6 is founded but yeah the british are like prop like proper spy services of the british are ahead of it because as we'll see the cia have based a lot of what the mi6 is doing but this is very early american um washington sets up arguably not really yeah it's not at all a modern spy network it's just no but they're using like invisible ink like lemon juice yeah you know again it's stuff that kids get for christmas so they can um break into their i guess there's always been spies hasn't there yeah there's always been people sneaking about yeah i mean the aztecs had spies but they yeah but they sent like 30 of them but when you're an aztec you can't blend in to like a modern civilization they all went as a group yeah it was a spy group so they're not one person sneaking around it's not really spy then is it yeah it's 30 people 30 people 30 people with a big newspaper but it's like mate your headdress is sticking out over the top of the newspaper i know i know you're an asset yeah what are you doing well that's not that's stupid language isn't it what's that um so there is early spying in the Revolutionary War.
16:00Invisible ink, hanging up laundry, blah, blah, blah. Eavesdropping, you know, tin can with the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that stuff. What's your favourite spy gadget? Like jetpack, I mean, the backward sunglasses were unreal. It's got to be the, it's got to be the golden eye pen. What's that, what happened there? Three clicks, it's a grenade. Okay, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. I did see a shotgun walking stick, if it makes sense. No, a shotgun umbrella. That was like a French spy thing. You have like a, so, yeah, Yeah, you can then just shoot people. So you can... Well, there was this thing about an umbrella with poison in it that I think a KGB guy killed someone on a bridge maybe with?
16:36Yeah. Why are you saying yeah? Because I've heard about that. Yeah, he's heard about that. Anyway, so there's early spying in the Revolutionary War, but as we say, it's pretty childish stuff. Yep, yep. Then there's a Scottish man called Alan Pinkerton. Yeah. The Pinkerton... Pinkerton. This stuff's fucking great. So the Pinkertons are in Red Dead Redemption, right? Are they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched a lot of fairy female body inspector videos about the Pinkertons and Red Dead. So he's a Scottish guy who comes to America because he gets persecuted because he supports the Chartists. Do you know what they are?
17:07I've heard about the Chartists. The Chartists are like early people asking for... Early Corbyn. They're asking for democracy in Britain. Like basic rights, I think. Yeah, and we're like, you're an extremist. Get out of there. What's the Chartist? We should find out. I think the Chartist is early democracy. 19th century workers' rights. It's the original work nonsense. Yeah, extremists. Yeah. working class movement advocated for political social reforms universal suffrage i mean come come on when when the other one when's that ever gonna happen uh so he moves to um america chicago right uh and he he basically founds his agency he becomes the um the first private detective he's the first pi oh really alan pinkerton nice because it's private company yeah uh he has It's basically like a private militia, private army.
17:53And, uh, so initially it's all like other big companies. Yeah. I mean, they're the Taliban at this point. So there's just roving private militias. Yeah. Yeah. But the big companies are employing the Pinkertons to protect their assets and stuff. There's a, there's a great story of like these big, uh, whatever factories. Yeah. And there are, there are loads of, um, workers like forming a union and they're going to ask for more money. and then the bosses go, well, rather than pay them more money, why don't we pay the same amount of money to Alan Pinkerton to get them to just come and like blow up the fucking movement?
18:28So then they... Smart thinking. Yeah, exactly. Why don't we lose money on not giving them more money by getting the Pinkertons to infiltrate the unions and so they then... Well, it's a matter of principle, isn't it? It is. It's like, don't ask for more money. I'm going to spend more money giving you less money by paying the money to the Pinkertons to come and... To punish you for asking for more money. Exactly. Yeah. So, what is it, Charlie? Do you think it's quite unfortunate to be called Alan Pinkerton if you're trying to be a spy? It is like the most... It stands out. No, it's like... It's not very intimidating.
19:00Pinkerton. One and the Pinkerton, two and the Stinkerton. The Pinkertons and the Stinkertons. Do you reckon anyone ever said that to him? I don't know if that came around. I don't know when that was invented. What, Pink and the Stink? Pink and the Stink. We need to place this, actually. That feels like a 90s thing, pink in the stink 1890s no when it's pink in the pink one in the stink when was the first time someone said one of the pink two and the was it all right that's what no chopsky videos does to you do the stink four in the stink none in the pink none in the pink first up the stink that's that's that's hammer stuff that is i'm in my mouth four in the stink it's believed to originated in Formal settings is like playgrounds.
19:44Yeah, we need a period AI. They don't know. They don't know. We can't say. They've got to know. Alan Pinkerton's not doing any butt stuff. Sorry? Alan Pinkerton. Pinkerton. Pinkerton's not doing any stinkerton stuff. No. I'm going to call my wife's ass stinkerton, I think. What, Alan Stinkerton? You call her ass Alan Stinkerton. Oh, come on, Alan. Can you please put Alan Stinkerton away? Is it Pinkerton or stinkerton tonight? What are we doing? It's date night. Is it Bingerton or Stinkerton? Who's coming for dinner tonight?
20:20Anyway, so it'd become this private militia that big companies would use to, like railroad companies, all this stuff. Because, you know, are the Chinese making railways? I think so. When are the Chinese making railways in the West, Charlie? It's the 19th century, isn't it? Yeah. While he's looking for that, do you want to just place, because I think the big thing that establishes them as a thing, the Pinkertons, is the 1861 Baltimore plot. Would you like to just place 1861 for us? 1861, so I guess that's after the invention of the spinning Jenny. Jenny's are spinning. Yeah, so that's kind of early industrial revolution in Britain.
20:58Spinning Jenny sounds like a bit of a goer. She sounds like she'd have five up with a stick of them. What is a spinning Jenny again? Is it some kind of weaving thing? Yeah, I think so. It's 1764, right? and I guess it's it was before the invention of the fleshlight cleaning devices is that like a fleshlight cleaning device so it's not even the fleshlight it's what you'd use Charlie what is a my friend got given a cleaning kit an anal butt fleshlight and he came in it and then immediately cried on his birthday apparently yeah so he got a stinkerton fleshlight he got a stinkerton fleshlight and then cried yeah we had a Christmas meal with comedians Dan Thin and Paddy Young where on earth is this guy Dan's for for his secret Santa from his housemates he got an anal fleshlight and he was he felt a bit like he was feeling a bit upset about it because it was like what am I just like gay to you you know and then Paddy did say do you have to put your own poo in it
22:00no Thin was like feeling a bit like and Paddy was like wait do you have to does it come pre-shed or do you have to put your own poo did that help did Dan feel better after that I mean he could just like oh yeah it was a good point actually yeah I think we laughed about 15 minutes did it come blue flecked can you buy shit is it pre-pooed um Christ anyway
22:23I got a message saying love the Paul can you ease off on the poo stuff actually really yeah because he's trying to eat while listening don't try and eat while listening don't try and eat while listening for Christ's sakes no liquid like most of all yeah drink Huel and listen just get the carers to play it after lunch rather than before um so the pinkertons uh anyway the stinkerton the stinkerton that when's the show one of the chinese building railways 1860s look at that i placed that absolutely perfectly so around the time that the chinese are throwing themselves as railway track yeah how many chinese people does it take to make a railway thousands yeah so this is kind of like the precursor to them jumping out of apple buildings building iPhones.
23:04In many ways, they were building railway track, then lying down on the track waiting for a train to hit them to stop them building railways. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen? Snacks? A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security, and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms.
24:04by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at applecard.com. When you've got a job to do, Lowe's knows how to help you keep it moving. Milo's Pro Rewards members save more with member volume discounts on eligible orders through a quote of$2 ,000 or more. Plus, save time with job site delivery on select purchases. Not a member? Join for free today. Exclusions, more terms, and restrictions apply. Can't be combined with any other discount, including but not limited to contract and or special pricing. Loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions. Details at lowes.com slash terms.
24:38Subject to change. 1861. So Abraham Lincoln is president. Abraham Stinkin. Abraham Stinkin. Stunkin. That woke madman who ended slavery. Now, there are rumours that there's going to be an assassination attempt in his life. Nah. I reckon nah. Because he's such an extremist. If I was there, I'd be like, I reckon you're right, mate. Yeah. I don't think so. But then I reckon that. Unsustantiated rumours, I'm saying. Well, supposedly, this never really was an actual plot. Right. But Pinkerton, so Lincoln goes to the Pinkerton and says... Stinkin goes to the Pinkerton. Stinkin goes to Stinkerton. From one Stinkin to another.
25:16Can you investigate? Yeah. The Pinkertons did some sniffing about. Yeah. Stinky sniffing. Yeah. And they work out that apparently there's an assassination that's going to take place as Lincoln travels through Maryland to Washington for his inauguration. So he's about to be inaugurated as president, but he's going on like a big railway tour. Okay. So over all the Chinese dead bodies, he's going on like a little tour from, I don't know where, somewhere in the Midwest. Yeah. To visit people as he gets inaugurated. Tensions are obviously high because he's got some pretty fruity ideas. Yeah. He's, you know, the plans for the Southern economy are devastating.
25:55Yeah, it's an extremist has gone in the White House. There's an extremist in the White House and he needs to be stopped. Pinkerton alerts Linkerton to the threat. It's Pinkerton, yeah. So what they do is they get one of their female body inspectors because the Pinkertons were the first enforcement agency of any sort to hire women as detective, as give them detective roles. Right. And so they had a fully like female subdivision of agents. They had the female body inspectors. Right. That was only in guard. Sort of. Yeah. And he got one of them. He said, you have to get on the train with Lincoln and you've got to stay awake all night.
26:29Right. And that's why their logo became We Never Sleep. We Never Sleep, yeah. And their logo was just an eye. So similar to your third eye that you're always watching Chomsky with. I was not sleeping either. Fuck! Yeah. This guy. I need to stay up. I need more thinking time. I need to really process this. Pinking time. So, stinking and pinking time. Their logo became this big eye, which maybe is the same eye that's then in those conspiracy things with the pyramid and the money. The Freemason stuff. Yeah. I think eyes are just... So that's the Pinkerton logo. Is it? Pinkerton's National Detective Agency.
26:59we never sleep does that go into the CIA logo no no CIA's an eagle yeah they get Lincoln to travel like incognito through Baltimore at night right because because at this point there's still a law against trains going through towns so you have to get off a train then just get on a carriage and like horse ride through town then get onto another station outside the town oh okay so for an assassin it's like ideal he's gonna be here yeah anyway so they just go well why don't you just do that at night because they're geniuses so um lincoln obviously i mean i mean i say the assassin's like where the fuck is he yeah and then pinkton's like oh don't worry we've gotten tickets to the theater in four years um anyway so they didn't stop that one i guess but they then you would say you would say lincoln happiest man watching a play i don't think he was assassinated because of the civil war i think he he was he asked someone to shoot his brains out because he was watching a play i think that's why he was assassinated i think jfk was on the way to watch a play yeah and he was like sorry fuck this can someone just shoot me in the head please my wife started telling me about her dreams shoot me in the head please please just take me out anyway lincoln then employs um the pinkertons to be like proper eight spy guys during the u.s civil war okay i think a lot i think they're actually quite shit though i think they get a lot of stuff wrong um so they're meant to go intelligence gather they use hot air balloons there's a lot of like reconnaissance balloons but that's is that spy do they use hot air balloons i don't know if hot air balloons are around i know they are around yeah they are around do they use spy balloons i mean there's a lot in war you use reconnaissance balloons but i don't know if that's like it's hard to be a spy it's just like well they've seen us now aren't they is that one of ours no right well that's a spy yeah there you go 1794 was the first documented use of hot air balloon espionage yeah yeah it's not exactly like a u2 spy play is it it's a fucking massive basket in the sky so they hire uh black undercover operatives to infiltrate the confederacy by posing as uh slaves which must have been i mean that's a very hard thing to ask a black guy who's just been freed yeah can you pretend to be a slave again yeah to no for a good reason but can't you just you just eat because so easily just end up being a slave again well yeah because no no i'm pretending yeah whatever mate you're in the fucking chains it's like well how are you getting out yeah no i'm actually i'm a fake one and i was like yeah all right whatever gets you through the day i'm being paid yeah all right we're all being paid really anyway so they're not very good during the civil war but then after the civil war they become sort of more crime fighting-y and you know this is this is now getting into the kind of the gold rush the old west yeah um uh like wild cowboys what are they spying on post-civil war then well they're not really spying they kind of morph into more of a labor breaking union busting fine this is when they start doing all the infiltrating the unions so just like a they basically enforcing the will of the government no it's not governments it's um private companies private companies so private companies hire them to basically turn union rallies into riots so that discredits the idea of paying people properly and they broke up butch cassidy and the sundance kids gang yeah forcing them to flee bolivia have you seen butch cassidy in The Sundance Kid.
30:08Yeah, it's great stuff. Yeah, it's great stuff. So this is what's interesting. I watched a lot of female body inspector videos about Red Dead and the Pinkertons. Yeah. Because the Pinkertons are in Red Dead as one of the people that can come after you. Okay. And then there's a whole like cut scenes in I think Red Dead 2 where they're like just firebombing people and they're killing pregnant nuns and they're awful in the game. Oh, they're baddies. Yeah, they're bad. Yeah. And the Pinkerton agency nowadays are suing whoever makes Red Dead 2 because they're like we're not bad guys. Pinkerton's still about?
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30:41It's still about. I think it's now a security firm or something. Really? I don't know. I think maybe they send out those guys that give you perfume in nightclub toilets. No splash, no gash. Don't be stinkerton. Don't be stinkerton. Use Pinkerton. Have some Pinkerton. Threat response protection for key personnel. That's crazy. There you go. That's like a modern... Yeah, so they're like bodyguards. Let's get a quote. Should we get a quote? What? Can you get a bodyguard if you're just a normal person. I reckon I could get one. For money? Yeah. You don't have to have loads of money. If I wanted to, can I have one?
31:13We can get you a company bodyguard. Yeah. But they're protecting you from yourself. They'd go around your house and put like chocolate. They'd put child locks on the toilet and stuff. You don't drink out of that, Charlie. What are you doing? Crazy. Sorry. Did you know about this before researching the Pinkertons? Obviously not. Yeah. Good. Just checking. I'm not a female body inspector. i'm a solo i'm a solo male body inspector i only inspect my own body i went for the smi what's that smbi solo male body inspector so what they did was when the pinkertons were looking for jesse james the wild outlaw there's a film about him yeah yeah and um not the uh is it jesse james jesse j not jesse jay oh not jesse no about the money money money jesse jay was this wild out or running around i'm gonna make the world so they go to his like mom's house rather than ask any questions they just chuck a firebomb in it and they kill his eight-year-old brother well you can ask questions later well i think so you've got to be safe you've got to make sure you know clear bang um eight-year-old son killed yeah yeah dead so that's what the developers of red dead are like yeah you firebomb the child yeah so i think it's fair play fair play anyway so and then after this they they go more into the worker intimidation and then i mean it's what 32 000 people are like pinkerton officials by the 1890s so it's like a proper big thing match the size of the u.s army they then there's this big thing in like the 1890s where like they just kill a bunch of people at like a strike and then there's this law coming called the anti-pinkerton law in 1890 summon what's that about only butt stuff only butt stuff everything must be stinkerton from now on yeah um yeah it's catholics before marriage yes exactly the god hole put a ring on it stinkerton pre-pinkerton um so i think can you just google charlie was it 1890 whatever the anti-pinkerton law which means that the government can't employ the pinkertons right so the anti-pinkerton law means the government can't employ the pinkertons 1893 yeah so this means uh that the u.s government cannot using these private militias to get to yeah um because of this homestead strike of 1892 where they killed a bunch of people anyway naughty so this sort of then sort of like there's world war one yeah and the u.s are not really doing there's like some like unofficial spies yeah but there's no arguably hey what sitting on their ass arguably well yeah fucking come on lads you stop jacking it over there wheelbarrows full of cash yeah whatever they're doing then in world war ii that's when uh the cia's kind of proper origin story yes because this is the real because this is that's just a precursor this is yeah this is when it properly starts but i think what's interesting is that the whole idea of like private companies contracted with no real um accountability is something that sort of stays throughout.
34:14So it's the culture of the Pinkertons. Yeah, man. Whoa. Unaccountable. The fucking Pinkertons. Yeah. It all starts with the Pinkertons. The Pinkertons are running everything. The thing is, if you're in one of those conversations with another person spoken, where you're talking about what's really going on. The Pinkertons. You can't, you're claiming it too early. You always have to go one up someone. Yeah. Oh, you think it's the Pinkertons? This goes back to the fucking French. No, it's the Freemasons. Oh, you think it's the Freemasons? This goes back to the tribes of Israel. You have to have a lot up your sleeve.
34:49You have to go back to the dinosaurs, basically. You have to say there were dinosaurs with really big noses that were pulling the strings back in the day. Yeah, because you'll get laughed out of any room if you say it was there. Because they'll go, oh, you think it's there? That's what they want you to think. The first Jew was born out of an egg, and that's how... Oh, you think it starts with the egg? No, no, no. What? The first Jew landed in from space. Yeah. Those were before space. yeah when it was just the big bang yeah that's where it starts it was a big schmuck yeah anyway so the office of strategic services right oss yeah is the probably what you'd now call the precursor to the cia uh and it basically starts with pearl harbor because they were blindsided they fucked it yeah and and again pearl harbor the story is the same they no matter what they do they're always just too busy eating crisps to work out right you know fall of the soviet union 9-11 they don't know what's going on to be fair they have missed a lot of big things yeah they've missed all the big things they've missed it because they're eating Cheetos or eating corn dogs watching telly yeah or whatever they're fat cops on Steakout who have fallen asleep at the wheel they're eating donuts yeah they're generally eating donuts while Pearl Harbor's happening it's Chief Wiggo yeah I mean the Pinkerton's actually had some get up and go and then they fucking banned them for being too Protestant and now it's just fat cops eating donuts I love how Protestant is firebombing children.
36:11Yes. Firebombing children is Protestant. What's wrong about that? Children should be seen, not heard. Children should be firebombed, not seen. That's my Protestant parenting. Imagine if I went on Diary of a CEO as a parenting expert. So how do you think? Well, I'd like to say is I think you should firebomb from a distance before anything else. By the age of eight, children should be firebombed. We've lost some sense of discipline with today's gentle parenting. yeah my philosophy is firebomb them early yep so speaking of firebombing pearl harbor in 1941 is uh now do they and the americans bloody hate hate it when pearl happens happens they don't like it at all they're like oh what oh they're fucking livid yeah they they can't believe it yeah the audacity yeah japan have really they've really um they've absolutely castled them here Yeah, in a way, but also it's like, what were you thinking?
37:05Well, they've sent someone out to bat. You know, they're not really, they're still like burping from lunch and then they've just gone to leave the first ball and it's just absolutely taking their middle stump out. They don't know what's going on. And so they realise they've been caught. Very naughty from the Japanese though, to be fair. Oh, very naughty. Very naughty. But they all get their comeuppance. They all really. Night, night, go straight to bed. It's straight to bed. They get slapped about. Yeah, they get slapped about. Bed, no dinner. So we need to probably start talking about a guy called Alan Dulles, who despite his name is very interesting.
37:39Alan Dulles is a lawyer. More Alan interesting arse is what we'd call him. Yes. So it's not ham arse. It's Alan interesting arse. Alan Dulles will end up being probably the most controversial, certainly the longest serving CIA director, which we're going to deal with in our next episode. Dulles. At this point, he's a lawyer working for a law firm with his brother, maybe. And they, I think he was a bit of a spy during World War I, maybe. Or a bit of a spy. What's a bit of a spy? Well, like, they don't really have spies. It's all fucking invisible ink and lemon juice and, like, tapping someone on the shoulder and looking over there.
38:16You know, it's not spying. It's just eavesdrops a little bit. What's that? What are you doing over there? Who are you? Doesn't matter who I am. What are you doing? It's just that. Oi. He's nosy. He's nosy. Yeah, he's nosy during the war. He's nosy. because originally there were no spies it was just nosy cunts yeah what's going on none of your business well maybe it is that's all that's going on what do you mean that's the first spy you're gonna eat that what can i have that yeah right so he's gathering but then i guess with trench warfare like what is there to know it's like yeah they're still there still there they're doing anything not yet no he just owns a telescope i think that's what it is i think he gets drafted into i don't know how i don't know how i don't really care either but he ends up being in switzerland in bern yeah thick burn burn uh in switzerland and this is where the oss are based and uh this is where like a lot of the origins of the cia's fruitiest uh period okay start yeah lsd is invented in switzerland in 1943 right there's some swiss scientists obviously they're not well they're they're neutral all the time in the world if you're not fighting like it's so funny to think that europe's literally in ruins around them and they're just making drugs right lsd is like the 25th uh attempt at syndicating some form of i don't even know for the invention of lsd was it were they trying to make lsd huh or were they just trying to make like fucking washing up detergent i don't know i don't know they must have been trying to it's only like viagra trying to stop you down with a heart attack and give you a massive boner i don't think they were trying to make you maybe they're trying to make you give you make dick pills and they ended up making lsd i don't know this is the guy who invented it albert hoffman swiss chemist yeah and he fucking he loves it he's taking it a lot doesn't he yeah all the first guys and we're going to do a patreon special on mk he doesn't look like he takes lsd no he's a very upstanding guy it looks straight as hell but that's what's funny about we'll do the mk ultra as a patron special this week but what's funny is that the 50s everyone's on lsd and they're all in suits drinking coffee just like holding down conservative dads yeah they're all conservative dads but they're all fucking buzzing on LSD I imagine you take LSD your fantasies your what would happen would be pretty straight down the line as well yeah you'd just like visualise a game of cricket I had the best trip of my life you take an ayahuasca ceremony yeah and it's just like a little bit of peace and quiet watching this is me that's me and ayahuasca ayahuasca just bounces off you yeah no nothing doesn't touch the sides nothing so did you have a life changing experience no I just I had decent seats at the second day of the test so you haven't changed your opinions hasn't been like a and there was a bit of rain there's not a moment in your life that you're going to look back on as like a real turning point no it was a bit of rain so I read my book and then I was home in time for bedtime gave the kids a bath and then I had meat and two veg for dinner lovely stuff lovely stuff from bed by 10 and up again do the same thing again that was my hour ayahuasca trip charlie you've got probably have you done ayahuasca no you're interested in ayahuasca i don't think you should take i think i think it would go wrong for me i think maybe your parents took it a lot while you were in the womb my friend did lsd and she had this like long-lasting effect where i don't know if she i haven't spoken to her in a couple years but basically she would permanently see the tfl logo like like a kind of just very faint hologram of tfl like it's a watermark yeah like the thing you put on like clips to make sure they don't get pirated which It was like a permanent TFL.
41:49For how long? Years. Years. I mean, you might still be there. I don't know. It was there for like three, four years after. She had to stop drinking and everything. She had to stop. Because everything was branded by TFL. I mean, that's marketing though, isn't it? Yeah. Fucking hell. Can you ask her? I will find out, yeah. Yeah. I'll be fascinated. She also had this little man, this old man that she would see every time. This is before the acid. Before she went to sleep, she'd see this little old man. So she hasn't even touched acid? I think the TFL thing has maybe got nothing to do with the acid.
42:16but like does she work for TFL after the acid chip she didn't the old man disappeared he left so she gave TFL a loss the old man was replaced by the TFL logo yeah brilliant there's good news and there's bad news that old man he's gone but what's the old man doing I think he's just waving at her a bit just sort of it's her way of like entering sleep entering sleep do you guys not just shut your eyes and say night night you know like a prime Ronaldo highlights reel yeah of his like best moments I'd have that but it's all the worst things i've ever said and all that it's me fucking up such situations over the last 15 years it's a youtube video set to like you know he's got the magic in me genuinely that's what yeah i close my eyes and it's just like a i'm like a really like like flashily edited video i'm japan 945 night night two bombs my dad's the same dad has so many things that you should be overthinking about not a thought i'm thinking about nothing it's amazing someone like my dad who is has so many things to be embarrassed about as soon as you click just turns yourself off.
43:20Yeah, exactly. I turn myself off. I'm like my parents turn the internet off at night. Really? Do that, yeah. They go, well, we don't know what's going to happen overnight. What? As if someone could just come in and like put porn in their house or something. So they turn it off at the router. They go, turn it off. Still do that? Yeah. It's crazy. It's like part of their bedtime routine. Locking up the house. Turn the lights off. Turn the internet off. Don't want any of your porn while I'm asleep. Thank you. No, thank you. Keep your porn outside while I'm asleep. I don't want those filthy thoughts.
43:46It's as if their dreams are going to be corrupted by the internet. To be fair to Hoffman, by the way, he lived till 102. That's true, actually. So maybe there is something to it. Banging, banging LSD. Anyway, so... We were trying to find out if he was meant to create LSD. Was he... Oh, yeah, was LSD an invention a mistake? I think he was... They were looking for it. Right. But what are you looking for, though? Well, they're nosy, aren't they? Yeah. All these cunts are nosy. No, he did not intend to create LSD. What was he trying to do? Hoffman's primary goal was to create a drug that could be used as a respiratory and circuitry stimulant.
44:16But anyway, but this, he, this is to help you, he was trying to make you just like increase blood circulation, breathe better. Probably was looking to make your dick bigger. Probably. Does your dick get big on LSD? No, I think it gets smaller probably. I haven't checked. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think you really, you're not that concerned with your dick on LSD. It's just funny. It's more than 150 old people staring and wanking at you. It's funny that old, I don't have a small cock. No, it probably gets smaller actually. I reckon whenever you take it, it gets smaller. Do you have a drink of water to get smaller?
44:46It's not small. No, I know. You've made this very clear. 10-minute tangent. It's not small. No, it's the smallest cock here, but it's not small. Well, yeah, it probably is the smallest cock here. But that's not necessarily small. I don't want people in the comments acting like I'm... Well, I'm no giant. Yeah, okay. Well, nor am I, but it's not small.
45:11anyway so in 1943 lsd's invented in switzerland and this is where what's mad is that switzerland is just a neutral country in the middle of a world war just literally like rainbow road mario kart yeah you know and this guy dullers is just there like fucking he's gone he's getting nazi officers to come and give him information uh he hears what's very funny i find this funny uh he finds out about auschwitz someone tells him about auschwitz and he's he's like nah he doesn't believe it six million six million that's that's a lot but no that's not happening that's not happening but um call the other one mate come on mate you what fuck off nah now try some of this
45:57um so he's in in some well i think to be fair to him he hands he handled everything up and the Americans are like, fuck no, that's not happening. But he's getting loads of intel about what the Nazis are doing. Starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times. Your to-do list may feel endless with new tasks and lists can easily begin to overrun your life. So finding the right tool that not only helps you out, but simplifies everything as a built-in business partner can be a game changer. For millions of businesses, that tool is Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10 % of all e-commerce in the U.S.
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48:37Right. So this will become what MKUltra kind of properly looks at, but this is all starting during the war. They're getting Pan Am Airways to provide information about what the nazi agents are doing in africa they're um they've tried to inject hormones into hitler's food to make his mustache fall off and to make him speak in a high-pitched voice to undermine him well yeah because i guess why if you're doing that why don't you just kill him yeah put cyanide in there but it'd be funny to like under because i guess his aura is like samson but with his mustache yeah so if it's like it's not the same as blood is it so i guess if you're making more feminine yeah i guess so but it's quite a funny it's a long way around it is a long way around you could have just if you're rejecting him as food you're already there yeah just just fucking tap in it's arsenal isn't it yeah they're all trying to walk it in all trying to walk it in but it must be said the fbi which is the thing at this point is spying on the oss because they're like they're like what are you because the fbi has been around for a while it was set up by hoover was it not hoovering up pussy yeah body inspector well he was gay actually hoover that's the big thing he was a closeted gay man wild bill donovan is the head of the oss so the other inventions that they were trying to do under wild bill is um pen bombs there you go golden eye clicky pen um limpet mines and bat bombs what's a limpet mine i guess a limpet mine is um what's a limpet a limpet is like something that just sticks to you oh right right right semtex uh it's a type of naval mine that's attached to yes you're using it to like magnet yeah that makes sense yeah uh uh bat bombs now this this involves napalm attached to hibernating bats uh as sort of a test of fire bombing how the fuck are you but how do you know where the bats are going well i guess you can use radar can't you because the sonar or whatever yeah but how do you know they're going to go to your target you can't drive them no but i guess do you put like some bat food that's a bat bomb so that's a bat with some napalm attached to it it looks like the bombs are just as big as the bat it's like suicide suicide bats so they spent 35 million dollars on testing and research yeah also should be said america have more money they don't know what to do with yes so no one else can afford to do any of this shit so they are just taking the piss won't we glue a firebomb to a bat see what happens yeah i guess it's like the evolution of pigeon carrier pigeons isn't it yeah i guess so atomic bats are they as well but pigeons you can send them kind of more reliably they're kind of actually they have like a honing initially there was an idea to to poison pigeons feathers and send them as like a dirty bomb yeah well so people touch them and yeah i don't know but no one's touching pigeons anyway no insects yeah wouldn't that be like the a really good sneaky way of doing what ants yeah just like all like you know mosquitoes or all kind of bugs just big bugs just like send a fucking legion of bugs over Or you get mosquitoes who have poison on them and you just fucking...
51:33Well, malaria. Yeah. Or AIDS. But even more so. AIDS. Double. Mosquito AIDS. AIDS, all of it. Yeah. The whole lot. Do you reckon anyone's ever put the whole lot in a bomb? What's the whole lot? AIDS, malaria, TB. An AIDS bomb? Yeah. AIDS, malaria, TB, the COVID, common cold. In a bomb? All in one. Imagine how fucking rubbish you'd feel. Wait, is it a pill or is it an explosive thing? I don't know. it just explodes all over you no it's like you take it and you get everything oh right so it's like a yeah it's like the opposite of a supplement it's like everything you don't want do you reckon that's a thing oh fuck i shouldn't have taken that aids pill i've got aids but it also gives you an erection it's also viagra so if you're if you're every cloud yeah so if you're like running low yeah bug chaser so let's just rattle through some more of the inventions at the oss these are things that made by stanley lovell whose nickname was professor moriarty you know the incel the incel spy law really starts this is really for the blokes this is this is really for the blokes bat bombs we talked about cigarettes laced with an extract of indian hemp to induce uncontrollable chattiness is that so you'd spill the beans what's indian hemp is that something my girlfriend's got that women secrete that is that what indian hemp is do you know what indian hemp is indian right it's indian hemp indian hemp oh so um is that the noise that maybe that's what on the ai tiktoks that's because they've had some indian hemp right right uncontrollable chattiness is that to try and get information well i guess so just you're chatty yeah well so yeah my girlfriend has gotten a lot of trouble for being the biggest mouth she she's got a lot of trouble with our fans yeah i couldn't believe it we'll stop talking but yeah she she if there's a silence she'll fill it with saying that the the thing she's most embarrassed about but but the problem with chat so she's already taken indian hemp but i'd say chattiness what's the cure is what i want to find forehand uh or the sean connery the sean connery cure yeah that's the antidote cover drive yeah enough dalton dalton dalton's think dalton's got the best cover drive what did he slap a woman in the bond bond dalton's bond is so aggressive towards like he hates women the most yeah i mean listen connery is um you know he he's he's taking a lot of his old-fashioned connery's taking his work home with him in that he's hitting women as a bond as james bond and he's going well i'll just carry that on in the home moore's obviously you know he's he's gay he's raising the eyebrows he's trying to get fucked up the ass by um by the Bond villains.
54:11It's a pun comic. Yeah. Dalton is the most, like he just seeps anger at women. He just can't stand them. So he doesn't hit them, but in Living Daylight, he's like, come on! So he's my favourite because he's so, he just can't hide it. He's so angry at them. Stop talking! He's just so annoyed. He's like a guy who's been married too long. He's like, will you ever fucking shut up and leave me alone? He's on the brink of divorce, Dalton. That's why he's my favourite Bond. is because he's just so highly strung. Because he's fucking James Bond. It's stressful. It is stressful. And Connery and like Roger Moore just it all glides off him and he's like, oh, what the fuck are you doing?
54:50Leave me alone. Yeah. Put your cello down and fucking run. Anyway, so Dalton has got the best Bond girl cover drive if that's what we're calling it. Oh, he's got a lovely cover drive. route yeah yeah but don't don't show root yeah because he's following through yeah and then i mean you don't want to i mean for the police that's not what you want to do but you know when commentators watch cricket if you're a kid watching at home that's how you do a cover drive kids watch this watch this that's how you do it perfect cover drive so there's various various sort of um early cia operations uh that during the war but a lot of it doesn't work like ginny one and two 944 attempting to bomb italian railways but it just always fails what because they didn't turn up on time yeah exactly you can't you can't legislate for italian railways you've got a time bomb expecting the train to go yeah right well it's due it's due at 20 past 11 what do you mean they're having an orgy on the train for fuck's sake not today bang have you seen all this stuff about gino de campo being inappropriate well he's just he's not being appropriate it's just mediterranean that's what i was trying to tell people yeah i'm I think it's unfair to have an Italian come here and you're judging him for his culture and heritage.
56:09Yeah. Imagine if you did that with someone practicing Islam or something. It's the same. Yeah. And everyone's just acting like he's being really creepy. He said, if you don't get me a coffee, I'm going to fuck your girlfriend. And everyone's acting as inappropriate. It's like he's a... That small talk in Italian. In Italian. That's how you order a coffee in Rome. Please get me a coffee or I fuck your girlfriend. Or I fuck your girlfriend. Are you sorry? I mean... I guess we're just getting more anti-immigrant. I guess there's been a shift to the right. Maybe that's why we're treating Junior De Campo like this.
56:38Yeah. I guess it's like post-Brexit. Yeah, it's like Greg Wallace doesn't have that to fall back on. He played the autism card. The autism card, that was the wrong card to play. He should have played my dad's Italian card. And then we're like, right, sorry. That was one of the most extraordinary deployments of autism I've ever seen. Weaponising his... Weaponising your autism retrospectively. he plays Rome Total War every day yeah and his son's autistic so it means he runs to the fantasy he probably is a bit tizzed up yeah but he did the spacey defence yeah but no the defence that I have a autistic hypersensitivity to pants so I can't wear trousers did you not hear that was his defence that was his defence he said I get very I can't wear pants well so like Pianovelli always wears shorts because he's autistic no he wears shorts because his thighs are too big for clothes clothes um greg wallace genuinely claimed that he couldn't wear pants because his autism meant that he was uncomfortable right so that's why he would walk around the studios with his wanger out shaking it at women it's because of his wanger out is that part of the allegations yeah he was fucking he was he had it out all the time and he showed little greg wallace out there i imagine his penis looks like another greg wallace again again it doesn't have to be little mate some people have big dicks.
57:55Stop fucking, you know, takes all sorts. But it's not small. Yeah, he was getting, what's the other bloke called that got done for racism on MasterChef? Taroad. Yeah, that's what I'd call him. Taroad's Taroad. Greg Wallace, I think, I always think John Taroad sounds like Greg Wallace's name for his own dick. Well, John Taroad, but like a debonair. Come in here, love, and meet John Taroad, would you? Or like an apples and pears sort of Cockney rhyming sound. Alan Pinkerton, meet John Taroad.
58:26I think you two are going to get on very well. No, thank you. I don't want to meet Mrs. Stinkerton tonight. Yeah, no, so Greg Wallace genuinely claims his autism meant he couldn't wear trousers. It's just one of the great defences. It's great. I've come around to Greg the more I hear about him, to be honest. Yeah. But I thought that meant that he thinks, is he saying that his knob is so sensitive that his bell end is like hyper? No, no, no, no, no. It's the area. It's that his skin. Are you sure it's not his knob? well that's an even weirder defense that's that's how i took it because because that's basically saying oh my knob's too big it has to i can't wear trousers which is when you're being done for sexual harassment going well yeah i'm autistic and my knob's too big you know how you know how retired people got massive cocks that's me it's not my fault my knob's too big done in the workplace yeah i've got a big knob was that a crime is it my knob's too big to wear I've got learning difficulties on the big norm.
59:23What do you want? Yeah. I mean, anyway, so why are we all talking about Greg Wallace again? I don't know. I've forgotten. We're talking about the OSS. I really don't know. The Operation of Strategic Services during the war. Italian train didn't turn up. That's it. Italian train didn't turn up. The OSS are not a convincing organisation. It's all pretty unregulated. Alan Dulles is in Switzerland, denying the Holocaust live as it happens. He's on LSD denying the Holocaust. He's on LSD going, what the fuck? He's having the time of his fucking life. Six million, fuck that. So then this guy, well, Bill is like, that's what you'd get out of an Ayahuasca trip.
1:00:04You come to, the Holocaust didn't happen. Hey, no, no, no, no, no. I've seen the world as it actually is. It's all fake, man. It was like 200 ,000. That's so funny. To go, to pay all that money to go to Peru and me to shame and come back going I reckon it was 200 ,000 no you meant to feel connection with the oneness of being and love for all humanity it was exaggerated there's no way it was 6 million there's no way there's no way have you seen Finn since he yeah I thought he was joking before but he took Iraska and now he's just fully deleted he's just worse he's got worse he's just fully denying it all the time
1:00:43after World War 2 the OSS gets shut down and we'll talk about this more on the Patreon special because after World War II in Berlin basically everyone is on drugs everyone's on speed everyone's on all the Nazi drugs are just in the there's a black market for drug all the civilians are trying to like rebuild their lives with speed with speed with whatever they can get or is it just or is it a way of like numbing the reality because it's like waking up Berlin 1945 sucks sucks like it's even worse than those waking up in London in 2013. Was there more drugs in Berlin then or now? Interesting point.
1:01:20Because it's not changed that much. Arguably it's just... It's sort of gone like this but it's back again. Well, they rebuilt the buildings but they didn't get rid of the drugs. Right. But there was a big, there was a huge like push to get rid of drugs from Berlin at the end of the war. Okay, and then it failed. It's also like LSD's invented during 1943. Speed is like, you know, considered socially acceptable for soldiers to take. It's a different form of drug culture, right? So Truman is obviously president and he approves funding for some kind of centralized organization because the OSS has been inspired by the FBI.
1:02:00They've never had some form of like federal centralized intelligence service. And also Alan Dulles has been, why people think he's denying the Holocaust live as it happens is because he's more concerned with using, taking Nazi scientists for the oncoming Cold War that's going to come with Russia. So he actually, in 1945, he does this thing called Operation Sunrise, which is where he negotiates specifically with Italian Nazi generals and some Nazis about a truce. And then that fucks off the Russians who think, no, we need a peace that's with all of us. We need total surrender. That's the point of this.
1:02:39And he's kind of like, he's not got backing from Truman or anyone to do this. So this is the start. So already CIA's, so this is deep state. This is already deep state out on the limb, going away from the president's orders. And I guess the story that we're going to take into the next episode is this is never really has it ever been regulated. How deep does the state go? Right up the stinkerton. The deep state up the stinkerton is hard. We've got to drain the swamp. Drain the stinkerton.
1:03:12Drain my stinkerton. and it's like a fucking drain canal in there. Just bicycles. Shopping trolleys. Lying bikes. Fucking cash of AK-47s. The CIA is officially formed under the National Security Act of 1947. The head is known as the Director of Central Intelligence. Now, that's not Dulles yet. Dulles does this report. The Dulles-Jackson career report in 1949, which found that it was failing to provide intelligence to senior leaders. and then in 1950 the invasion of South Korea takes them completely by surprise again because they're just too busy they're falling asleep in the car with the donuts that is interesting because the CIA had this powerful all-knowing thing and they're kind of yeah man but they're seen as like that's where all the money's gone for this sort of they're the modern spy agency and they do it at the top but they do miss but throughout the whole history it seems like obviously they've stopped so many things that we would never know about and they've done loads that we would never know about successfully Yeah, I guess so.
1:04:13But it does feel like there's been a lot of cock-ups for the amount of money in the CIA. I guess they've got a lot of stuff today. But the point is that Dulles writes this report that essentially puts himself forward to become the first non-military civilian director of the agency, which he does in, I think it's 51 or 3. So he does the report that's saying that there's failures of intelligence. No, it's 53. Anyway, we're going to leave this episode here because we've been blathering on for quite a while. We really have. um now in our next episode jeff asmus the female body inspector yeah it will be in um uh that episode's already on our patreon where this week we're also going to do a bonus episode on mk ultra which is real like nuts whoa that is pretty crazy that's what's crazy about this period is all this stuff is true a lot of the stuff that sounds fucking made up is fucking true because it was done by men wearing suits and ties yeah um so uh that's already on the patreon for three pounds a month you can become a truther and you can become part of one of the smelliest most stupid um communities on the planet we never sleep they never sleep too much they never sleep because they're drinking monster all the time um and they do live in basements yeah they have command centers of sorts they have big chairs with neck sports they've got multiple screens multiple screens uh they're like security guards where every screens is pornography warcraft or pornography they're probably doing both at the same time anyway if not no worries thank you for stopping by we will see you next time for more CIA goodbye bye
1:06:30We'll see you next time.
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