Feminist Destroyed By Truth and Logic (and a Horse) | The Suffragettes (Part 2)

0:12Welcome back to part two of the suffragette story. that's Horatio Gould and listen it's all getting pretty ugly now actually to be fair it's been ugly from the start some of these women are absolute monsters but their tactics are getting despicable to recap women I don't know they're fucking naturally I don't know what they want do they want me to buy them dinner do they want me to maul their cunts I don't know I don't know but this lot watch the first episode first don't start on this one As ever, please listen to this podcast in order. If you haven't heard the first episode, that does. In order.

0:50Listen to it in order. In order. They come out in order for a reason. To recap, women want the vote. They've been whipping Winston Churchill. They're getting into BDSM. They're getting into BDSM. They're not eating dinner. Plus a change. And yet, Henry Herbert Asquith. The horn dog. A loyal man. I guess he's not a brilliant father. Yeah. There have been better fathers Sure. Than H.H. Asquith. Yeah. A reasonable politician Yes. Has been keeping them at arm's length. But it's nice when your dad gets on with your friends, I guess. Yeah, you want your dad to get on with your friends.

1:29Oh, my friends come around. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, great. Let me just change. Yeah. I'll take my trousers off. Yeah. Yeah. Are they staying for dinner? Yeah. Do they want to stay over? Sleep over? Not with you, with me. So, yes, Asquith has been violently horny writing letters to his teenage daughter's friend. That's kind of irrelevant, though. Mainly, he's keeping the suffragette movement at arm's length. However, Pankhurst has another ace up her sleeve. And they're big sleeves. Well, yeah, another ace up her muff. She's got a whole deck of cards and a muff, which at this point is not a fanny. When does the word muff mean fanny?

2:11Charlie, it is the 1690s. Interesting. So then they called... Post-Civil War. They called the hand warmer a muff with full knowledge of what a muff meant. I guess it looks like muffs before shaving Fanny became a big thing. But I presumed it was the other way around. I presumed women were carrying around a big hairy thing. Yeah. And then, you make your own joke. What is it? Is there any word that you could reclaim as kind of my knob, but it isn't your knob? what what what do you mean what that's what you said didn't make any sense ask that exact question again yeah is there any word that you could reclaim

2:57reclaim as knob but it isn't actually a knob in the same way that they had a little bag which is their muff could you could you answer it yeah like a small hammer a small hammer or like a little hat. I don't know. A little hat for your... I don't know. I don't know. What do we... Stop the podcast. Is there any... I don't know. I don't know. Why are you asking me? I don't know. Fuck off. Listen, they've been keeping knives in their muffs, carrying around big hairy things. That's what I want to say. It's interesting that they... I assume they were carrying that around then named their hairy muffs muffs after the hairy thing.

3:38Right. But reality, they had big stinky muffs first. Yes, despicable. And then they had the hand warmers. It's very vulgar. Which implies that women were warming their hand at one point in their big stinky muffs. Yeah, but you probably would have caught in a pinch. I guess for men, they're sort of a hand warmer in the primeval sense. What is it, Charlie? It better be good. This has to be good, Charlie. You're really fucked up. Do girls do that? Do girls put their hands, in the same way that men put their hands in their pants? Actually, that's a relatively good question. You've got away with that one because actually my daughter does that.

4:08Yeah. She doesn't have a muff. I mean, let's be clear. Like Ross Barkley. Excuse me? Ross Barkley. Why are you picking up Ross Barkley? I imagine he rolls around kind of with his hands down his track. He's like, does she roll around like Ross Barkley? Ross Barkley. I haven't thought about him for some time. So you're sort of becoming like a Ross Barkley type figure. I guess so. She's Barkley-esque. Yeah. She's sort of a Lampard tribute act, really. She never sort of fill his shoes. Is that what you mean? Yeah. Yeah, no. I imagine women, I mean, it is, I suppose you can find this out actually as a scientist.

4:42Is it hotter? Are women's pubises hotter than men's temperature wise? I imagine they are because they're cooking stuff. Maybe this is a chat GBT question. If you were, yeah. They're cooking stuff down there, aren't they? No, but I imagine there's this. No, because our organs are external. Yes. So ours are fucking roasting hot. Yes. So I actually think the cock and balls is a warmer place to be. Women's body temperatures are higher than men's naturally. which again was a reason why they did not have the vote. This is internal and does not significantly affect the temperature of the groin area. Woke nonsense.

5:15I imagine Flora's putting her hand... She's got grey trackies and just stick it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flora's finally playing one-handed with her hand down the trackies. Just taxiing to land. Flora Drummond. She reverses the whole way. Oh, yeah.

5:31Flora can park. I'll say that much. Yeah. I would want her to park it for me, actually. anyway do you want to park it for me you want to park it for me love look at your look at your hands on you

5:46it's all been a bit it's all been fun and games alright it's been a laugh it's been silly it's been a laugh but they don't they don't understand when to stop the joke yeah okay and in 1911 Pankhurst a summer been Pankhurst begins been laundry a campaign of terrorism as if she hadn't already started one she starts bombing letterboxes okay what have they done yep you know first you smash windows and i said nothing but then you start bombing letterboxes yeah it is absurd i still said nothing yeah because i mean i live in the digital age they're irrelevant they're irrelevant but the postal system at this point in 1911 is everything critical i mean how's how ask is horny letters gonna get to where are they gonna go they're being evaporating to thin air Because now he's waking up.

6:31It's like, you know, you're as annoyed. Okay, enough. I spent ages drawing a picture of my penis to send to my girlfriend's best friend. Yeah. And now it's ruined. How is my daughter's best friend meant to know that I want to buy her dinner and then maul her cunt? How is she meant to know that if you're blowing up a postbox? This is the country's arseries that she's bombing, okay? And Pankhurst leads the campaign. They pour chemicals and burning materials into postboxes, okay? Activists call this outrages. I don't know what that means Outrages means I guess disorder Right okay Let's cause some outrages Oh I see right They've got to cause outrage Right But enemies Rightly call them terrorists Yes I guess we're enemies then Because they are We think they're terrorists Yes In the language of the time This is terrorism Yeah This is And I want to stress This is 50 years Before the IRA I don't care what type Terrorism is terrorism Yes it is There's no two ways about it Tough on terrorism Tough on the cause of terrorism which is women getting the vote.

7:30This is 50 years before the IRA imported their bombing campaign to the British mainland. Yeah. This is the first blitz. It is. You know, the blitz begins in 1911, as far as I'm concerned. All right, I'm hiding in the shelter in 1911. Get underground. Post boxes are exploding. Yeah. It's going to be terrifying. But also it's in your own house. It's your wife, potentially. Yeah. You can't trust anyone. It's like East Germany. Yeah. They're informants. Yeah. So they begin this campaign of arson. Okay. Government buildings, churches, sports pavilions. Leave the pavilions out of this. That is not cricket.

8:05It's not cricket at all. Bombing cricket pavilions for the vote. That's the wrong way to a man's heart, that is. Golf courses. God, this is an attack on straight middle class. Leisure. Late leisure pursuits, isn't it? You're bombing railway stations, golf courses, and cricket pavilions. Yeah. I mean, you've lost the autists. you've lost them Churchill condemns these tactics the suffragette movement has degenerated into an orgy of disorder a bit horny from Churchill again well he's being whipped by them to be fair he's ah so they this arson campaign kicks off in sort of 1912 around the time of the Titanic it's a you know this really is the end of the Edwardian innocence isn't it yes you know the Titanic has sunk the greatest ship yes at the same time middle class women are bombing letterboxes.

8:59There is a bomb maker called Jenny Baines. She's seen some things. That's not a man. That's a woman. That's like a Jewish intellectual. Yeah, it says he built hundreds of bombs. I'm wrong. First time you said that. I'm wrong. She built hundreds of bombs for the now militant suffragettes. And these are sort of homemade mustard tins, teapots. they're still quite gendered I guess but it's like home alone they're using the house they're using the kitchen to cause havoc this episode is sponsored by Sailor Name Sailor Name it's an eSIM service app ladies I apologise I think this is for the girls alright take your pants off we're talking about eSIM services Sailor, if you've ever been lost abroad yeah pull the pull the cord you've been waley waley lost say say they will rescue you do you know what an e-sim is yes who used one no you're not i don't know what an e-sim is so an e-sim provides an internet connection whenever you travel you just do it as an app you just go and it's all done all right so you just and you switch the sims all internally don't have to use a little thing to get out this crucial piece of uh is it software or hardware Software.

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12:52So, 1912, three cabinet ministers, their homes are attacked, bombed. A bomb is planted in the Home Office in July. Thankfully, it's discovered before it goes off. The Theatre Royal Dublin is bombed. Okay. Suffragettes burn down the theatre while Asquith is attending a masonate. Can a man not attend a masonate? Jesus Christ. He's trying to have a break. The same day that an axe is thrown at his head. Okay. Asquith is again, there's an assassination attempt. A canister of gunpowder and petrol is placed near the stage. Lit match is thrown. There's an explosion. No one dies, but the theatre suffers damage.

13:31I mean, it's vandalism and vandalism. David Lloyd George, who is at this point, maybe the chancellor, He's in the high up in the government. In 1913, his house is bombed and the bombers leave behind a large hairpin as like a... Calling card. Calling card. Right. Sexy with it though. So they want to be caught. You know, no, no, no. But there's an element to this. With most terrorism, it's like if it's the Irish, if it's Islamic terrorism, these are two factions that don't need to be together. But men and women, it has a different tension to it. Alindo Akbar. is that what they're shouting they're on their letterbox hello Akbar anyway but do you know what I mean the fact that men and women have to live together we have to we have to IRA and Protestants you can segregate those two groups there is a solution where you don't there's a two state solution there's no two state solution for men and women if only there was I think there could be, you know.

14:36Yeah. No, I think, I mean, you could have a sort of, you could split up the world into the male half and the female half. How do you reproduce? Sorry? Well, you, you, you, sex tourism. I see. Yeah. So sex tourism becomes essential. Yes, it becomes procreation. Well, do you know, we haven't talked much about female sex tourism. Do you know about this? So the... Good God, the debt. So type in female sex tourism, Trinidad and Tobago. What? So in the way the male sex tourists, they go for the kind of - We go east. Yeah, we go east for cheap erotic pleasures. Women are going west. Is that what that song's about?

15:13Go west. So it's interesting that the men go for small Asian women, affordable. Women go for big black guys in Trinidad and Tobago. Yeah, brida. Yeah, so look, female, yeah. So female sex tourism. Yeah, so there's this big industry of like older white women going out and getting absolutely - Yeah, getting out. absolutely railed by like male prostitutes out there this is a scandal this episode is scandal upon scandal so old white women yeah are traveling yeah to the caribbean yeah uh to get purely to have purely to get dipped down yeah by young black men yeah from the cat wow yeah and are they coming home you know is there a tie is there a tie bride thing in the in the way that oh yeah Yeah, I don't know.

15:58I don't know. Or is it just too frivolous? Michelle, a local woman who works at one of the beachside bars, wonders what the tourists see in Jamaican men. They know what it is, I suppose, but I don't see the attraction. Our men are lazy and good for nothing. They are not good lovers. All they do is get us pregnant and leave us to cope with the baby while they're off doing their own thing. That's your words, Michelle. Yeah, not my words. Yeah. So literally, they've heard about the big knobs. I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? It makes sense, yeah. You know, you've got Thai fanny tourism that way, big knob in that way.

16:25You don't want to get on the wrong plane. your dad doesn't know the wrong player oh no what tight fannies firing ping pong balls out their vaginas yeah and then big knobs batting them away organize that cricket match with you charity cricket match and also you could um divorcee husband and wives could both go to watch different things i'd watch that yeah but it's his and hers no no no it's the same game no but i'm saying that you could both watch together yes you could tell your wife yeah exactly something for the guys something for the girls Yeah, and we can each have a favourite player, you know?

16:57Fastball fizzing in and bam! So obviously the Thai brides, they'd want to field first because that's where they're, you know, they're bowling out. They're families like that. And then you've got these black guys swacking with their cocks, you know? Fucking Viv Richardsing at the end.

17:15Well, I did not know about female sexism. Every day of the school day. Yeah, thank God I do now. Now, the suffragettes, let's get back to female terrorism, female sex terrorism. The suffragettes plant a bomb under the Bishop of St. Paul's chair. Oh, my. It's nothing sacred. I mean, it's nothing. That's St. Paul's. Not even the Nazis bombed St. Paul's. No, of course not. Okay? It was left standing, the footage of defiance in the Blitz. And yet, 30 years, 40 years previously, women had tried to blow it up. Bomb failed to detonate. I mean, maybe not, yeah. You weren't getting into STEM at this point, I suppose.

17:53Yeah. Not enough autists on your side. No. And that is the one key in our arsenal. A cathedral verger, I don't know what that is. Is that some kind of religious nonce? Heard the mechanism ticking and discovers the device and then puts it in a bucket of water. Nice. Nice. Now, the WSPU, right, which is, you know, that's Sinn Féin. Yeah. But they also are tied to the IRA. It is Boko Haram, female Boko Haram. but they run a bomb-making factory. So at least the IRA and Sinn Féin are separate. Yeah. You know, obviously they're linked. This is the actual organization, the political arm. So I want people to know that the Women's Equality Party by Stanley Toksvig, okay, which is the successor, in her words, to the WSPU, ran a bomb-making factory out of a flat in Leeds.

18:42Okay? Shocking. This is four lion stuff. This is four lion stuff. Four lionesses. Yeah. they start using code names they go on the ground they use these code messages to avoid capture so uh the codes are uh they're all animals so uh like if you say fox it means are you prepared for arrest um not a rat like to be arrested not have a you know not have you not have you tucked yourself in yes um goose don't get arrested duck don't get a finger up your ass don't get a finger up your arse um birds finger yourself silly um tortoise don't do it wait yeah is this where duck goose comes from no so you think a suffocate would say don't get arrested unless success depends on it don't get arrested unless success depends on it don't get arrested and then runs and then runs they also this is the long road in many ways to just stop oil definitely i saw there's a lot of parallels.

19:42A lot of parallels because in 1914, Mary Richardson, okay, yet another middle class female terrorist, hacks a painting in the National Gallery with a meat cleaver. The Rokeby Venus, okay, a sort of Baroque period like nude. Wow. And she slashes at it and she says, quote, I've tried to destroy the picture of the most beautiful woman in history. She let a growl out the cage. Yeah, well exactly. As a protest against the government for destroying Mrs. Pankhurst, who is the most beautiful character in modern history. Okay? That's objectively false. Yep. Well, I guess it's like just a don't stop oil, just stop oil, because it's middle-class terrorism, right?

20:27Yes. It's got its own, it's granola eating kind of guy who has an allotment who's trying to bring down the British state. Yeah. You can't have an allotment. Yeah. And be a terrorist. And be a terrorist. uh speaking of terrorists there was a militant cell of uh young unmarried uh i mean they're already militant yeah exactly you don't need to say militant they're unmarried but these are basically lesbians right and they get known there's as vera wentworth and lc hoey are so rowdy uh that more conservative suffragettes call them as hooligans lesbian hooligans just fucking taking their tops off get the vagin

21:07every photo they're like wait wait get the vagin not that right every photo yeah casuals that's being casuals get the vagin it's awesome go um who will have been looking at cane you know that fat bald guy this is flora this is flora looking at a police officer

21:32yeah that's a suffragette yeah 1912 um so they pledged to undertake danger duty and they would um they would bomb trains they would attack the houses race courses put a pin on that they do all the postbox stuff um uh and these were card carrying lesbians they were open lesbians in the edwardian era so they're called the young hot bloods to get the badge in, right? And now we need to get to Emily Wilding Davison, okay? If, you know, if Pankhurst is Bin Laden, Davison is Abu al-Baghdadi, whatever, what's he called? Who's the head of ISIS who died like a dog? Who's that guy? Al-Baghdadi. Al-Baghdadi, okay.

22:19She will become probably the most infamous suffragette. Yes. she this is sort of if you're going to do a whistle stop tour of this period she's probably this event is probably the most memorable thing this is the this is the 9-11 for women 9-11 for men by women yes yes by women because it wasn't 9-11 for Al-Qaeda it was 9-11 for America it's true actually when we say that was like 9-11 we never think about like well who's perspective wasn't there the Muslim 9-11 what's the Muslim 9-11 I don't know maybe they mentioned the miniskirt yeah yeah Mary Quant in the 60s but before 9-11 so they were like what do we call this so Emily Davison had studied in Oxford again just a sort of breeding ground for female extremism it seems she's arrested after joining the WSPU and she was always when all the other ones were kind of like you know working together she was always sort of a lone wolf right a lone growler right and she was quite what was she like?

23:24She's using, she's almost using kind of David Blaine-esque performance art. Yeah, public shock tactics. That reflect society in a certain way. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, it's all like, yeah, it's what it brings out of other people. This was a famous one. In 1911, so they were doing a national census, okay, and women were not allowed the vote at this point, obviously, so they were protesting by boycotting the census, right? However, Davison, because she wants to make a sort of edgy, cool point, she hides in a cupboard in the Palace of Westminster on the night of the census, which means that her recorded address is the House of Commons, right?

24:07Suffragette stuck in cupboard.

24:12There we go. There's only one way to get her out of it. You've got to fuck her out of the cupboard. Yeah, suffragette stuck in the cupboard. Duffer get stuck in Parliament's cupboard. The predecessor to Stepmom getting stuck in a washing machine on the night of the census. But that's very kind of Beethoven's brother activism. Technically, I live in the House of Commons. Radio 4 are lapping that up. That's not actually political activism. That's Radio 4 comedy. Very droll. Very, very dry. And again, Asquith is enjoying this. because he's like well that's just that's just humour yeah that is just a laugh that's just wry humour that I can enjoy you know listening to the radio and then I turn it off and go and rail my daughter's best friend you know that's just good stuff that's funny in this day and age that is what's funny yeah this is a woman hiding in a cupboard your uncle talking about Merson yeah oh yeah the master is it a subject hiding in a broom cupboard

25:18um so but davidson repeatedly goes to prison um and so in the prison she fucking barricades herself in um yeah she won't eat dinner right obviously so she fucking locks the door and barricades herself in and then she refuses to come out and it's like well you're in a prison so you've imprisoned yourself in a prison yeah and then they have to flood her cell to get her out with what water right like flood her out basically she throws herself down the staircase right very dramatic yeah it is because she wants to draw attention to the treatment of prisoners but it's like well you're you're throwing yourself down there and you love so this is the first maybe uh you've got a black eye that fell down the stairs she's a bpd bitch basically a bpd bitch yeah right sorry yeah she's a lot yeah she um you know you you go for a pint with her you think fuck i know and then she's crazy in the sack so you know you keep saying she's thrown up on that thing she's getting stuck in she's getting stuck in cupboards she's she's giving you such good she's asking for it she's giving you such good net that she's horse kicking your tv off the walls um well yes i suppose maybe that's what maybe that's how she met her end she uh she went to the front of the horse and that was what happened she goes uh on hunger strike in she goes girl dinner in in jail yeah and she's force-fed um and she publishes this account as i said describing the choking the pain that's just the good stuff and that's just the fun bit um and this causes a national scandal which then uh starts now the public are starting to turn the public opinion is quite interesting because it's quite split it's not well there's a lot of people who have public sympathy for suffragettes and always have done but i think it's seeing them being rugby tackled by um policemen uh is and then the the prisoners getting and it's a liberal government as well yeah so this is in many ways this is like a very this is something the liberal government should do yeah it's a logical end point it's the logical end point of very good liberalism yeah very smart charlie so the public has they don't like all the the force feeding stuff they think that's a bit vulgar yeah and so the newspapers are now printing increasingly graphic accounts of the force feeding.

27:35And so it's causing a very conservative nation to recoil. Yes. What is it, Charlie? Do we think the force feeders are getting off on it? Are you right? I knew. This is such a mess, isn't it? What are we doing?

27:52You think the force feeders, the prison guards, are going, this is God. What am I doing? What are we doing? I shouldn't be doing this. We shouldn't be doing this. I'm actually certain force feeding a suffragette. I'm certain that they would they would have found that horny. It's like bread and milk and meat, processed meat. Yeah, but you're making them do it. You're like, this is fucked. You've got to bear in mind, Charlie, that you think anything can be horny because the thing you find horniest is you saying, this is fucked. This is absolutely fucked. Should we just fuck? It's such a mess. There's no coming back from this.