Foreign Accent P*do Syndrome | Caligula (Part 1)

30:53We've barely sucked off this emperor here. We've only got to the tight bumps. He's not even come yet, so we've got to finish him off. So Tiberius, the original Epstein's Island, on Capri, he would, you know, if there were, if there were people he didn't like, he would chuck them off the cliffs and then you have people in the boats below the horse to like smack them. To make sure that they're finished. But it's like, so he didn't seem to want to be emperor and it sort of makes sense because he's, not only is it hard to get messages around in ancient Romans we've discussed, he's on an island. Yeah.

31:18So how is he running the biggest empire in the world? What's his general called? He leaves a guy in Rome who goes apeshit. Oh really? I can't remember his name, but. Everyone's going, this is what's crazy about this period. it's not like a couple of bad eggs but it's post-democracy they've had well it's post-republic they've had a kind of golden age yeah of but then isn't this the golden because at the same time as having the maddest emperors it's also this is the most powerful the roman emperor has ever been called pax romana which is this 200 year period where the i think mainly covers the first emperors after caesar yeah and i think it's because they don't have that many um foreign wars to fight they have kids sucking them off yes it's like well but there's no more lands to conquer yeah get fucking goblin get goblin so he's on capri and uh now his sisters get assassinated and supposedly they didn't know they don't i think yeah tiberius kills his brothers or someone kills his mum oh everyone everyone's dying all the time in his family but basically nefarious ways learns to just sort of button up and keep quiet keep his head down yeah not down there um get underwater his sisters are yeah some of his sisters are alive but he's one of like nine and anyway his family members are killed while he's on the island but he keeps sturm because he knows that if he if he sort of chips he gets a little chippy he's gonna his head's gonna be next but there's a prophecy that tiberius is rearing a viper for the roman people and a python for the world okay um it's not his it's not his perfect direction it's rearing it's rearing a viper you've done your viper reared i have caligula is married to a woman called junior cloud alert she dies during childbirth we don't know we don't know much about her um uh anyway this is the beginning of caligula caligula starts racking up wives yeah um now tiberius dies in uh what year is it is it like 37 i think right 37 so jesus died for jesus is already dead right jesus has had his last um He's touched his hog for the last time.

33:18So Tiberius is the emperor when Jesus dies. Yes, yes, he was. Anime. But that's in the Middle East, isn't it? But the Romans are there, aren't they? The Romans sent him to death. Romans and the Jews, I think. Are mandating it. Yeah. Now, there are allegations that Caligula smothers Tiberius in his sleep with a pillow. But again, that's not verified. pride so if you're conspiracy theorists it does seem like is it you have an absolute field day in ancient rome yeah everyone's fucking no one knows what's going on yeah so tiberius before he dies he names caligula and his uh his grandson gemellus yeah as joint heirs right uh which is obviously a recipe for disaster what i understand is how that because augustus didn't have any kid heirs so he adopted an old man so he adopted it does feel like it's not like natural there's always a mad succession crisis that's why in those first five emperors after caesar the julio julio julio caesar line whatever it's called claudian line julio claudian every time an emperor dies there's a conspiracy theory about that they were they were like knocked off yeah because it's all no one can hold on to power there's no it's all their kids get killed there's no bloodline yeah yeah and it's very new this is only the third right succession so they're getting their eye in a little bit sort of so tiberius has suspicions of caligula um and but he also detests gemellus right so he kind of just says well you you both do it yeah so i don't want to pick yeah um anyway on succession um caligula basically just fucking kills gemellus fair enough he just gets him does he order him to kill to kill himself or i think he does anyway he gets rid of him and he then delivers this very uh overly emotional funeral speech for tiberius yeah um he goes through rome and when Tiberius dies it's kind of the opposite of Germanicus it's a good move it's like people are really happy because like finally Epstein's it's just very similar actually did he kill himself?

35:15Epstein yeah very similar yeah it's true he is the OG Epstein the echoes of history yeah who knows was he bumped off? I like the crying you know the former guy's funeral is a great move it's the Gaddafi it's the Gaddafi at Nassau's funeral yeah it's a real it's a great because now they're dead you need to just be it's also not the only time that Gaddafi will come up in this series okay there's a lovely there's a lovely bit of symmetry later on looking forward to it so in on the 18th of March 37 four years after Jesus' death Caligula's honeymoon period begins okay the first few months everyone's loving it yeah he's he's declared he's only 24 years old which the Senate are worried about because they don't like him young yeah they they they think there's like oh he's got the arrogance of youth There's a real respect for grey-haired statesmen in Rome.

36:09So one of his first acts as emperor is to bring the ashes of his mother back to Rome and he buries her with his own hands and he builds this big tomb. And I think maybe he... Does he put her in Augustus' mausoleum? And he builds... This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen? Snacks? A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security, and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started.

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37:24Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Allerge your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins as these may increase the risk of serious side effects why wait ask your doctor visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more it's a big grave and maybe he makes her a god but also Tiberius uh you know hadn't really been focused on being an emperor he was focused on being knocked off on the tight bumps and stuff like that and so when he comes in he basically feels like a breath of fresh air yeah it's Blair 97 it is the whole story is Blair it is Blair 97 everyone's so happy because also I feel like this is representing the new generation he understands what it is he's a bit he's having dreams at Oasis and Downing Street he is bucket hats because also the other similarity to New Labour is that Tiberius because he'd been such an awful leader he had done like all these show trials and public executions and imprison loads of people he didn't spend any money on all the public shows.

38:55Yes. Because as we talked about in our Nero series, part of the role of Roman Emperor was they sort of also had to be like Danny Boyle and they had to put on these big spectacles for the public. So they were, they were at the same time military commanders, prime ministers and like theatre producers. And he didn't, did none of that. Yeah. And so the coffers were very, very full. And so similar to how Major actually... Because he didn't spend anything. No. Major gave Blair a good economy. Because he was frugal. because he was frugal but he also he took a lot of the crisis major Blair comes in and is able to just start handing out yes you know sure starts or whatever right and so it's that feeling of optimism that you always forget the guy before Tiberius did a similar thing so Caligula comes in it's a fucking spending spree brilliant he slaughters supposedly 160 ,000 animals within the first three months to celebrate you got it though he starts he reverses all the like he recalls exiles he ends the trials he republishes books that have been banned big feasts but it's bread and circuses right that's the big thing is that if you want to control the populace you give them food seconds and then you give them entertainment right yeah he supposedly spent 2.6 billion circuses I don't know how you pronounce it and I asked chat GPT yesterday circuses not circuses I asked him cestuses cestuses cestuses and I get up how you pronounce that and I chat GBT'd this as what's that in today's money and it is 300 billion pounds.

40:30Right. So you're spending that on the Olympic opening ceremony? It's a G7's like defence budget. Right. G7 countries. But it's on Cirque du Soleil. It's on like just... It's on the Blue Man group. Exactly, yeah. So what he likes, so he gets into, he likes tossing money at crowds and getting them to run for it. so already there's a sort of there's a glint of the evil in him yeah he starts paying everyone bonuses yeah his Praetorian Guard now the Praetorian Guard are the crack squad who they're the only ones who are allowed to carry weapons in Rome and they protect the emperor throughout all of these stories the Praetorian Guard that's their key you've got to have them on side yes and if you don't that's how you get fucked is that like the mob like the Gestapo no Praetorian Guard it's more like if the Varangian Guard which is the Viking It's basically if the beef eaters weren't symbolic, right?

41:24It's very similar to imagine the beef eaters were the only people who were allowed to carry weapons in London. If only nowadays. Yeah. In Sadiq's London. Christ, everyone's got a knife. Yeah. And every time you fucking post a tweet and the SWAT team come fucking blasting. The beef eaters come knocking down your door with their pikes. No, beef eater is not a slur for a man who likes to do cunnilingus. Oh, right. Horrible. You heard about him? I've heard he's a fucking beef eater. imagine if you had to wear that when you went down the woman i'll just get my cloak i'll just get my hat on get a picture of my beef eating hat imagine coming coming through the door in that and your wife's like oh hello here we go i know what's going on tonight then come on put the hat on the rough i mean maybe that's why the rough's there christ so anyway the praetorian guard gets bonuses he renames the month of september germanicus after his dad that's nice which is nice yeah what would you call well that'd be me like me calling november jeremy october jeremy december it doesn't really make sense yeah it'd be august peter august peter october jeremy december anyway uh he includes his sister's names in the imperial oath and this is very important everyone starts thinking that he's got a rock on for his sisters yeah supposedly and how much of a big no-no is that in front in france in france is the culture sidebar it's the culture in france the culture you gotta do it for the culture in france it's the culture but in rome it is a big no-no because they're into for some sick fucking shit so i don't know so they don't like it no incest isn't cricket right no so is this why in gladiator which is taking from this period right that's why he's he fancies his sister Joaquin Phoenix's character does it oh yeah maybe yeah so it's all playing on this sort of shit it's Joaquin Phoenix and Gladys are sort of based on Caligula and Nero yes so he's spending loads of money on all the games he loves the Colosseum he loves blood sports there's clearly a sort of I'd love to see a sadomasochistic streak in there but genuinely a lot this is like a classic question where do you most like to go back to yeah like a day in history for a day to be a Roman peasant yeah going to the coliseum at the height of blood sports would you go see a ball if you think about in spain now yeah yeah no if you no one was judging you if no one was judging me i'd go i mean it's spectacle isn't it yeah hemingway went to the ball ring and wrote i wrote um it's called death in the afternoon you wrote that sorry i read it i read the book i wrote that

44:01ernest hemingway is my nom de plume it's my pen name hemingway but genuinely i think we got a do a Hemingway episode. His life is amazing. There's a Ken Burns six-part documentary just on his life. Oh, I've got to get into that. He read his own obituary because they thought he died. He wrote it. They thought he died in a plane crash. Yeah. He was lost in the wilderness for two days, comes back and in the morning he's just reading his own obituary. That's amazing. Come on. That's good stuff. But yeah, if I can go back for a day, I've thought about it through this whole series. I do think height of Roman blood sports.

44:34This is quite interesting. Sorry, this is a list. Is this a list of blood sports? Yeah. So I didn't know this. There's cock throwing, fox tossing, this sounds adjacent to beef eating, goose pulling, human baiting. Now octopus wrestling. I would back myself for getting this for octopus. Get octopus wrestling up, please, Charlie. Let's see what's going on there. Octopus wrestling, octopus wrestling involves a diver grappling with a large octopus in shallow water and dragging it to the surface. Right. But this is blood sports in general. This is not Roman blood sports. Although it was called wrestling, it was not wrestling per se as most octopuses are rather skittish.

45:06not aggressive at all yeah it seems easy but this is not this is not Roman blood sports this is just general blood sports no I'm just but I go back to the list of blood sports because what was what's Rampakan what's that one that seems Japanese they're into some fucking shit sick shit big cat fight that's in Java Panthers released from wooden boxes are surrounded by warriors with lances trying to prevent them from breaking out well that sounds quite Roman that's very Roman that's bear baiting isn't it because Roman is fighting against a fucking we should do history of blood sports what do you think is the most horrific blood spot most horrific yeah I think bear baiting is the one I like the least bear baiting that's happening in Renaissance England right what is it what do you do just fight one I think you just prod it with knives and stuff and then it gets angry and then you just kill it or maybe someone there needs to be some sort of like it's similar to bullfighting I imagine yeah anyway I think they've got a little they've got like a mesh a net they've got a net on them and then they're just sort of prodding it with spears oh just make it a limit yeah Yeah, that's not a game element to it.

46:07It's not cricket. There needs to be, yeah, it's not cricket. No. How would you make it cricket? Well, if it's like... Give a bear a bat and start throwing balls at him. That's how you're making a fucking cricket. That's how you're making a cricket, Charlie. You put it in the stumps. Yeah. Mark out 22 yards. Get 10 other bears to field. Now, I don't know how good they'll be at that. No, that's cricket. But imagine standing there at the stumps and a bear is steaming into a bowl. Fuck me. Terrifying. That's cricket. What, all fours? That is cricket. Overarm, please. Paddington. Anyway. Nowadays, they're bear-baiting Paddington in London.

46:42Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. It's illegal. Siddiquistan. Anyway. Siddiquistan. Londonistan. Londonistan. Siddiquistan. Christ. Caligula's putting his beef-eating costume on and he's going down on his sisters. Yeah. He's dressing up as gods. He is, quote, ignoring masculine and even human conventions when he's choosing how to dress. Right. So he's cross-dressing. Yeah. I guess he's dressing up as a god. Maybe he's dressing up as animals he loves playing with the form he's a he's sort of drag he's in drag but a lot of the things we said in the nero episode right yeah playing with the form uh embarrassing the senate all this sort of stuff starts with caligula starts with colleagues yeah right my boy colleagues because this no one had seen this shit before he this is this is crazy so even before his first expedition as a as a military general yeah he um he takes the breastplate he steals alexander the great's breastplate from his tomb and how old is that at this point that's like 300 years old i'd say is it when's alexander the great charlie 300 bc alexander the great timeline me want to see it 300 bc uh 356 bc yeah so it's when he was born yeah so it's 300 years old so um but he nicks that from the tomb gets that on um he starts dressing as a god he's tried to deify himself in his own lifetime.

47:58Yeah. This is in the first year, months, right? So he establishes a shrine to himself. He makes life-size golden statues and then whatever he's wearing that day, he makes the statue wear the same clothes. Right? It's crazy. It's a bit vulgar. It is vulgar. Wait, what? So there's a guy who's putting a T-shirt on the statue? Yeah. So what's Caligula wearing today? It's like when you see people who dress their dogs up with matching outfits. yeah I like that I don't think it's very classy no I think it is it can be if you dress it like a spark shirt yeah if you make a shrine to yourself and say I'm a god and then you make a statue and you dress it like you I think that's a bit tasteless it's a bit new money yeah it's flash it is flash vulgar yeah making a temple to yourself it's just a bit it's a bit like come on come on there's no class to me yeah he spent heavily he pours out gold coins and rolls naked in them yeah that's down and fair at this point he drinks pearls dissolved in vinegar that can't be nice yeah but you gotta remember this is they don't have nice they're like six foods I guess this is like this is the first cocktail they're like posh cereal no no he's not eating pearls no he's dissolving the pearls yeah he's just miserable in the morning like fuck hell no they're not like all golden nuggets Charlie right they're not like Wee Toes but it's pearls in vinegar I had golden nuggets earlier yeah I know that's what you eat for breakfast and I think that is an issue I think you're starting your day right yeah that's a terrible way to start your day the best cereal how often do you have golden nuggets genuinely well currently Monday Friday five days a week but in general yeah because I've got a few boxes in a few you buy them in bulk do you yeah multi-pack but what's your standard breakfast over the last three years I do think this is where part of the problem is eggs and golden nuggets wow do you put like a fried egg when you put it on like a ramen do you put that a bowl of golden nuggets with a fried egg on top yeah yeah I don't know because you're getting everything out of that you're getting you're getting sort of strength from the egg I don't know if you're getting from the nuggets.

49:55Yeah. Yummy nugs. Good egg. Are you still crushing eggs because **** has been putting you on the egg diet? You've got piles. Guys, please. Is your pile out right now? No, it's not right now. Is your knob out right now? I want to see it. I've got a bum boner piled out. No. You've got a reverse boner. My personal trainer, we should just bleep his name. Yeah, okay. But this is fascinating. Yesterday, I went for a session with him and bear in mind, I've been seeing him for about five months. Up until yesterday, he's only just found out what I do up until yesterday he thought I was a history teacher it's because on our first session I said I would do a history podcast right because I don't you know I don't want to get into it yeah and he just heard teacher and then genuinely he's been asking me about history while we did our sessions he's like this guy oh god he knows and you're like I don't have a fucking toe boat yeah and then I don't have but you've eaten no I do a holocaust on our podcast and he's like what has he listened I don't know.

50:53Maybe he has now. I don't know. Anyway, my point is... Yeah, what's your point? My point is that... The point is your pile. The point is, it's not my piles, is that Caligula is not eating pearls and vinegar like breakfast cereal. Okay, fine, fine. He builds massive ships, which this is interesting. These are like floating yachts. These are huge super yachts. They're covered in jewels. They've got marble toilets. They might even have hot tub. They found... So Mussolini found the ruins and he ordered them excavated at great expense. and then they got destroyed during World War II but you can still go to a museum now and see all the water pipes which took which is how he basically had a hot tub on his yacht Caligula Caligula right yeah that's crazy anyway obviously so he spends this you know a G7's military budget in months in the first year on all these shows these yachts in order he then realises so it's starting to turn now because he's had to raise taxes and he's becoming a bit more unpopular with the exactly this is sort of like you know new labour when the financial crash comes in everyone's like oh you spent all the money close the shore starts if you've got maternity if you're on maternity leave you're on your own blah blah blah scroungers everyone's saying benefit thieves he imposes taxes on food and prostitutes that's the opposite of bread and circuses yeah brass tax you can't be taxing brass tax let's get down to brass tax let's get down to brass tax that's where that comes from that's where that comes from brass tax he imposes taxes on marriages so you get married you have to I guess that means that like in a, what you spend on your wedding, a bit of that goes to the crazy.

52:27Get less for murder. He then, he starts to fake auctions. So he runs auctions himself, but drives the prices up so that - What I love about these mad emperors, they love doing other jobs. Well, they're doing everything. They just love just doing - They're fucking cleaning the toilets, whatever. Now, when does a prime minister have time to do anything other than just sort of be constantly on the back foot? They're actors, they're fucking musicians. A senator fell asleep at an auction and then in air quotes, bought 13 gladiators for 9 million cestuses. What, they just got his hand and wrote? Yeah, basically.

52:55I'll buy that, right. He then starts to frame noble people for treason and then seizes their property. This is very funny. He forces strangers to name him in their wills and then when they live too long, he poisons them. Well, you sort of snooker'd be there. That's the ultimate inheritance tax. Right, I'm just going to kill you and take all your stuff. Write me your will. Are you going to kill me? No. Right, right. Bang. yeah now and this he starts to turn the imperial palace on the palatine hill into a brothel which is not now this is big outrage for the senators and the aristocracy we've got to remember that rome has this aristocratic class this class-based system and they've been running it for hundreds of years and this is early on in the in the empire and they're like this guy is tearing up convention and we don't like it yeah i guess i struggled to understand what the moral headspace of rome is because we understand it for you it's quite moralistic yeah exactly but i thought so but then all of these emperors are so fucking mad consistently that's why we have the saying of like living like a roman emperor because back then the p the people yeah um sort of love the drama of it because it's quite a martial stoic stoicism comes from it's populism right but later that's marcus aurelius right that's yeah that's that's after way after this but it's still that sort of culture rome strength is built on its order and its discipline they're not like the fruity greeks right no they're not but yeah that's what i mean is that they're so the idea that it's like turning um buckingham palace yeah into a mega brothel right right the people it's like you know everyday cab drivers would fucking love it the future liberals want yeah the future is that buckingham palace is a transgender brothel cab drivers would love it right they'd be like you won't believe what's going on in there but the mps and the you know the noble the nobility Jacob, he's mogul, like, this is absolutely terrible.

54:45Right, yeah. It's a disaster. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So he stuffs the palace with matrons and freeborn youths. He lent customers money at interest to then go and spend on his own. So he's running Wonga as well? Yeah, basically. It's like prostitute Wonga. He then records the proceeds of the brothel as, quote, Caesar's revenue. Right. Caesar means emperor for anyone who's just gone on the train. So only a few months into his reign, Caligula, falls gravely ill. Yeah. Yeah. And this is kind of what historians say is the turning point in his reign. Yeah. Yeah, well, they're basically saying that he goes mental.

55:28It's like when Hitler got into drugs. Yeah. Yeah.

55:34He's in bed. He starts listening to thrash metal. Yeah. He puts a flame bandana on. I mean, he's already pretty mental, but basically it's like when you get like someone gets a tumour and it pushes on the paedophile bit of the brain you know about this? this happened to you? your honour I've actually got a brain tumour that's pushing on the paedophile bit of the brain that is that's absolute phrenology the paedophile bit of the brain someone pushed the paedophile button in my head and I can't turn it off I mean it's not far off though you heard about this right? you've not heard about this so it's like foreign accent syndrome but it's paedophile syndrome basically someone basically got a brain tumour and whenever it grew, he had paedophilic thoughts.

56:17Whenever it was in remiss, it was, search up, it's true. And when he'd not stop having paedophile thoughts. So there is like, if something starts growing in your brain, you can become a, reports in the early 2000s detailed the case of a 40 year old teacher who after a sudden onset of uncontrollable, uncontrollable, is pushing it. Paedophilic urges was found to have a brain tumour. The man's abnormal sexual behaviour, which included an obsession with child pornography and sexual advances, towards his step door disappeared after the tumour was surgically removed. I think that could be coincidence.

56:46Do you think? As a paedophile who happened to have a brain tumour. I don't know if you can say that. He's trying to blame it on something else. You know, what is that saying? He's coming onto his step door saying, I've got a brain tumour. What is it? I've got cancer. I've got cancer. Go on. I've got cancer. Get your dick out. I've got cancer. I think that's... I've got cancer. These people are... It's the cancer. It's the cancer. Yeah. Your honour. I don't know. It feels a bit... I've not got cancer anymore. So it's cancer come back. I think that's a pedo button. I think it might be true. I think what's that correlation does an equal causation?

57:20Yeah, it's correlation I don't know if that's I think that's convenient. It's definitely a theory. It's potential. Because if you start fucking playing Fred again with your brain you'd start you'd be like

57:34you'd be like Chinese accent. You're a pedophile for a second. Well, that seven-year-old's attractive. Oh, hello. I'm from Devon. like what but get the clip of the Devon woman heroine from Devon have you not seen that woman the Devon woman who got have you not seen it get it up it's fucking incredible yeah but if that can happen then you can get the pinot button so maybe it's just maybe she should count her lucky stars she's not announced this woman basically cover your skull out let Freddie Gain go hell for leather a woman from Devon has Chinese woke up with a Chinese accent after a stroke heroine from Devon that's what she says my name is Sarah Colwell I am 40 years old I live in Piemann Born and bred here I've seen this About Five years ago now I had A stroke life event Yeah So this is what happens When you You just keep Pressing You keep fretting getting your head Yeah And you either You've got Chinese pedophiles Yeah It would be Very tough luck to get both Wouldn't it I've got foreign accent Pedo syndrome Oh hello Oh, for Devon, that's Seven Rob looks nice.

58:45Anyway, we don't know what happens to Caligula. I don't think he doesn't wait. Sorry. Are we saying that for the next episode, we're going to have to do all of it in a Chinese accent because Caligula gets foreign accents in. Oh, we don't know. We don't know which button was pressed. Okay. Anyway, he falls ill. We think he could be syphilis or something. It could be like a UTI. You know, people go mad and they're like, oh, people go mad. Yeah. It's before cranberry juice, isn't it? So his character changes dramatically. Right. He's on his deathbed. My name is Quirigua. I'm the Emperor of Asia Ram.

59:20He's on his deathbed and he sounds different. Oh, yeah. He's saying his accents change. You're Italian. Why are you speaking like that? My name is Quirigua.

59:40he's on his deathbed ancient writers frame this moment as the turning point where a young emperor turns into a despot into a Chinese beautiful

59:53anyway in our next episode we will continue the story where he really goes mental where his accent really starts to get a bit much that episode is already on our Patreon where for£3 a month, you too, to become a Chinese paedophile. We will press on parts of your brain. To be honest, actually, it would make more sense if our patrons have just had a button pressed and that's why they sign up. They've lost all impulse control. Got a brain tumour. They've had a stroke. I got a brain tumour so I signed up to the patron. Yeah. So I got cancer. Oh, the brain tumour's gone. I bet it cancels the subscription.

1:00:31Anyway, we do a bonus episode every week and they're getting pretty fruity. We did a geisha episode, dressed up like geishas, talked about a day in the life of Japanese sports. Doing our sunning next week. Are we doing our sunning next week? Yeah, we're going to do a live stream where we sun our assholes to get more powerful. Oh, you've got access to the live stream episodes we did where we did The Life of Blondie, Hitler's dog. That was wild. We did Bin Laden's Hard Drive on another live stream. Bin Laden's Hard Drive live. Not good stuff. All ad-free and early release. If you listen to the podcast, three pounds a month is a great deal.

1:01:00It's less than the price of a coffee, but you don't drink coffee, so it's less than, I don't know, a monster six pack six pack a monster I don't know no it's not how much is a can of monster it is six pack a monster will probably set you about 450 do you reckon they'll ever put six pack a monster you know how nowadays you go into a coffee shop and it's just it's all like Americano latte and then my dad goes in and goes I just want to can I just have a coffee can I just have a monster can I just have it's like tropical ice it's like a wizard's clunge that's what I mean can I just have what's happened to monster can I just have a can of monster how much is 24 monsters 24 monsters is 27 pounds right if you buy an annual subscription you actually save 10 percent right so an annual subscription is less than a 24 pack of monsters is it yeah wow so you know for the festive season our patrons are sweating it's that that meme with the two buttons 24 pack a monster annual subscription yeah so uh but you can buy a year's worth and you can give it to someone because the festive season's approaching right you can give someone uh it's like 30 quid you get a year's worth give them a 24 pack of monster that'd be a horrendous thing to give someone or tell you what you do both for if you're if they're really special in their life 24 pack of monster with a little card on top so you've also got a year's worth of that is the absolute incels yeah starter not even the house not even downstairs no don't say hi to your mum anymore no stay in the basement fuck you mum i got a 24 pack of monster subscription uh anyway that's on the Patreon and if not thanks for stopping by and we will see you next time for more Courier Garret Courier Garret Goodbye I'm a pedophile

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