Grampa Gandhi’s Night-Time Boner Test | Mahatma Gandhi (Part 4/4)

33:41you're liking what you're hearing no it's zane low hitler's freder getting and zane low's like no no don't stop don't stop so Hitler does not respond to Gandhi's letters because he's busy and he has to just be like fuck this cunt's fucking annoying now Gandhi now let's bear in mind Gandhi has been you'd have to say certainly not anti South African apartheid proto-apartheid situation yes he was basically being like well I know we're not white but we're not fucking black give us something but his views on the Holocaust are for a holy man who's revered as a peace activist. Yeah, a man who cannot stop thinking about holes.

34:23Yeah. Yes, I suppose it's not his holocaust. It's pretty controversial. He said Hitler killed five million Jews. Okay. Suspicious. Slightly undercooked that one, but that's fine. I mean, overcooked those numbers. Yeah, it is the greatest crime of our time, but the Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher's knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from cliffs. It would have aroused the world. Aroused the world. Why the horny language? And the people of Germany. As it is, they succumbed anyway in their millions. It would have aroused the world. He can't stop. He can't. It's too blended.

35:03He's brimming with cum. He can't just like... He's constipated, brimming with cum. It's like it's all going into this writing. So he says that if the Jews can summon to their aid the soul power that comes only from nonviolence, her hit her hitler will bow before the courage which he has never yet experienced in any large measure in his dealings with men his point is he's like if the jews had uh willingly sort of not protested uh which i suppose the jew doth protest too much yeah then then the the holocaust would be even more uh powerful the holy cost it'd be the holy cost because their stance would be morally pure so i mean to be fair as much there's loads of mad shit he's saying and it is all stop clocks he's the same answer sort of for everything yeah occasionally it works a lot of time it doesn't yeah starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times your to-do list may feel endless with new tasks and lists can easily begin to overrun your life so finding the right tool that not only helps you out but simplifies everything as a built-in business partner can be a game changer for millions of businesses that tool is Shopify.

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36:56Start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify, and start hearing. Sign up for your$1 per month trial today at shopify.com slash realm. Go to shopify.com slash realm. That's shopify.com slash realm. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweet Greens Fall Harvest Menu is back with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels, and crave worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate, and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen, featuring fall's best dressed.

37:43Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. I don't think I can be your friend, Isabella said. Rebecca's stomach flipped. this is the love story of real hinge couple isabella and rebecca written and read by me listen to the free audiobook now just got lucky that in this one moment it worked right yeah he should be just a madman rambling saying i haven't wanked in years who the fuck are you yeah but instead it just worked you know he was born in the right age are you saying what you're saying he's correct about this? If you think about it, there was no real strong Jewish resistance because they couldn't be because it was so overpowering.

38:27Six million of them died anyway. Yes. If they had done this. Done what though? Just all killed themselves. Okay, is he saying kill? Oh, you're saying like go off the cliff by Lemmings. Yeah, by Lemmings. Yeah, maybe that is a bad idea actually. I thought if they make a big non-violence it would be like a... But I think I suppose the claim is, is that they they didn't really know. They couldn't know. They were being told they were going to like a work camp. And then they should have been shot into showers. They should have jumped off a cliff. Yeah. Gandhi's saying, silly Jews, you should have just jumped off cliffs like lemmings rather than going into the gas chambers that you were told were showers.

39:07Yeah. I don't know what the Nazis would have. The Nazis would have just gone like, that's brilliant. Yeah. All right. Well, then we could save money on infrastructure. Yeah. Holocorma. Holocorma. How long were you cooking that one? I wouldn't say holo... I wouldn't say holo... I'd say it's a... It's a... You know, it's a vindaloo, isn't it? If it's anything. It's not like a... I think that's quite a racist thing for you to say. Holocorma. You'd say, yeah. Think about something that's mild and boring. Because you know when you do... When you make like... That's just incredibly offensive. What's a really buttery sort of entry-level curry?

39:35Yeah. Like the holocaust. Just really vanilla. What's the most vanilla thing I could think of? The holocorma. Because you know how we have hot sauces and they're called like tears of hiroshima because i think that's a very big event and spicy right holocaust yeah yeah well obviously like butter is the holocaust right that's the base yeah that's the creamy base level yeah inoffensive yeah zatziki just yogurt it's something to take to take the heat off it's the holocorma it would be a fucking foul or a vindaloo that doesn't work why doesn't it work because it's not a pump yeah you've got to stop seeing everything through the lens of your poetry j charlie i can't i know you can't you're a prisoner of your own poet poetic

40:16it should be the hollow loo or the vindo vindo lula course hallelujah

40:25no no right rejected we need to start rejecting some of these yeah rejected yeah a lot of these you're getting you're getting rejected a lot of these are swings and misses and you're bold that you're bold to the gate i think a lot of your puns as someone commented have been thick edges that have run down to four through the slip cordon and you're lucky. Your number's looking like you're giving him quite a good score, but really, you've not connected at all. You've not middled any of these. What was the one you middled at the start of this episode? Masalini. Yeah. You've hit one ball properly. Right?

40:57Holocomber. No, it's not a holocomber. This is bad ball when it doesn't work. Yeah. You're just swinging at everything. Everything. And it doesn't work in a way in India. You know, we got lost in India because the track's so dusty. Anyway. Now, Churchill, robust opinions about Gandhi. Sure. Because Gandhi urges Britons during the war to lay down the arms as they're useless. During the Battle of Britain, Gandhi calls upon the British people to abandon wartime violence. This is when you realise he's just saying the same shit for every situation. Yeah, just go and have a wank and just chill out. Yeah.

41:31And in favour of non-violent resistance against the Nazis. Does non-violence work against the Nazis? I don't think so. Paratial gold. I would argue that they're the one people who would be like... Brilliant. You're brilliant. Yeah, yeah. Because we're really violent. So it's rock, paper, scissors, really, isn't it? You know what? You've got the higher moral ground, so we're going to surrender. Yeah. But also the idea of like approaching the Nazi death machine with like a snide self-satisfaction. Yes, you can take me where you want. Yeah. I'm not resisting. Yeah, you'd just be ending up in a mass grave.

42:05All right, great. Bang, dead. Yeah. He suggests that they should allow a German occupation while refusing to owe allegiance to the occupiers. Nice. Yeah. So you're right. The real victory. Yeah. I mean, it is basketball, isn't it? Yeah. No, we did. I know it was a draw, but we won, actually. Yeah. Yeah, because it rained a bit. We would have won. Yeah. So he wants just the moral victory. Yeah. But I guess we wanted both, which was the moral victory and their victory victory. So that's my point about him during the Holocaust is like you could have made it a moral victory, Jews, but you didn't. It kind of was a moral victory, wasn't it?

42:36Was it? Isn't it the loss of all morals? Isn't it the worst humanity's done? Yeah. The Holocaust is a moral victory. No, but I mean, the Jewish people, morally, they won, right? Or is it just... I think it's all bad, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, maybe you could say that the state of Israel, or rather the government of Israel, are using, are still kind of dining out on them. Because it's clear good and evil, I thought. Yeah. It was a moral victory. Well, no, yeah. The Allies have a victory and a moral victory. Right, right, right. I'm not sure you could call the Holocaust a moral victory. Because that implies that it was a moral victory because you got a lot of it done.

43:20But it wasn't a complete victory because you didn't get the whole thing done. That's what that implies. Sure. So Churchill despises Gandhi. Okay. He dubs Gandhi a seditious Middle Temple lawyer. He opposes negotiations with Gandhi, characterizing his civil disobedience campaigns as, quote, nauseating I agree it's fucking boring stop they're both voracious writers as well they're both firing off letters this is quite a Twitter feud and Churchill's just letting he's letting come out there's cum coming out of Churchill what is this before Churchill went and fucked up in India I don't know what he did that's 42 that's 42 is the Bengal the Bengal famine but again Churchill's got a lot on he's got a lot on so do you know stop making it all about you Yeah, stop putting stuff on Churchill's platter.

44:08Like, he's fucking, you know, that's the height of the North African campaign. You know, he's got a lot on. The Bengal famine is a complicated one. Do you think that his hatred for Gandhi affected the Bengal famine? I mean, fucking. I think his deep racism towards the Indian people probably play the part. Yeah, sure. But the Bengal famine was misappropriating food from India to help the war effort. But there still was going to be a famine. It wasn't like all the famine. And Churchill's probably thinking, well, you've got loads of cows. You can have beef burgers. Why are you killing them? And he doesn't understand that they don't like beef.

44:41So blah, blah, blah. Now, Gandhi is trying at this point to get the British to leave India. And what he would like there to be is one Indian nation for Muslims and Hindus. But he has a counterpart, an Indian Muslim nationalist called, is it Muhammad Jinnah? Jinnah. Muhammad Ali Jinnah. He's the leader of the Muslim League. And he wants a two-state solution, essentially. So they're both London trade lawyers. Jinn is more secular. And he wore, like, tailored Savile Row suits. He spoke. They're quite similar paths in many ways. Yes, they are. They hated each other. He looks like Indian Chamberlain.

45:25Yeah, he does, actually. They're both Gujarati Indians, I believe. But Jinn thinks Gandhi's infusion of religion into politics is dangerous. even though he's the head of the Muslim League. That doesn't really make sense. Anyway, he thinks there should be a separate state for Muslims. Gandhi's like, we can all compromise and live together as one because no one should be violent. But it's like you live in a world where there is violence, Mahatma. I guess he's now entering his sort of uni 5am kitchen sort of. Yeah, but he's 75. Mahatma Mandy. Sorry? Mahatma Mandy. Muhammad, yeah. Let's all love each other, guys.

46:06Yeah. Forget about religion. Forget about nations. So in 1944, there's a standoff when Gandhi and Jinnah meet at Jinnah's house. They talk for hours, but they can't agree on what they're even arguing about. Yeah, because... In terms of arguing with Gandhi, he's in a completely different realm to you. Yeah. He's like, well, you need to stop jizzing before you talk to me. And Jinnah seems like someone who's quite grounded and earthly. He's quite down to earth. Yeah. He's a realist. Yeah. He's got his head on the ground. Yeah. Gandhi's got his head up a woman's arse calling her a walking stick yeah he says Jinn has said Mr.

46:42Gandhi is a very difficult man to deal with he's a master of the art of double talk I can imagine yeah it's Russell Brown isn't it it is Russell Brown it's like use a fucking proper word stop speaking like a thesaurus has been dropped down the stairs so we get to partition now essentially what happens here is that in August 1947 the British Empire are preparing to leave the Indian subcontinent. World War II has obviously left them fucked. We dealt with this in the start of the Prime Minister series. There's a naval mutiny in 1946 where 20 ,000 Indian sailors leave. And all these factions, you know, Britain is being overwhelmed with people being like, two states, one for Muslims, one for Hindus.

47:22Gandhi's like, no, there's too much going on. So basically... It's mum downsizing after the kids leave home. We can't... I've got to live in a smaller place. I can't be living in this five bed. No. It's just me in here. So they basically, they realize that the British don't, they don't have any troops or kind of willpower to stop any kind of revolution. So they get a bloke who had never been to India to draw a line. It's a bit of a Wizard of Oz moment, isn't it? When you realize it was just like a small guy. A lot of the British Empire, I think they're realizing it was just, there was like a little fella behind with the big, scary, you know, the guy, that's sort of what they're realizing now.

47:57Yeah. Is that, there's only five people running this whole thing. Yeah. We can have it back. yeah yes the the what we did was just the pomp and aura the suit the axe and everything was to try and make you think the big shorts the big shorts yeah there's like 15 of these guys there's a billion of us there's a billion of us and we're all really horny we can take it but they get a guy called ratcliffe to draw a line right there's going to be the india versus pakistan he's never been the story he is the hero of the story really this is the Radcliffe series. Radcliffe is Luke Skywalker. Gandhi is Darth Vader.

48:32Now, Radcliffe draws a line, having never been to India before, and he's given five weeks to complete the task. In the heart of every human, right? You can draw a Radcliffe line between good and evil, and that line goes through the heart of every human. Yes. Don't you think? Yes, I've got a Muslim half and a Hindu half. I've got a really poorly drawn, unconventionalised line in my heart. Now, on the 14th of August, 47, Pakistan becomes an independent nation India becomes fucking Pakistanistan you know what I mean I know well it's a very racist name now what a crazy thing to call a country anyway fucking what they elected another Muslim fucking Pakistanistan Pakistanistan these days these days now Gandhi tried to block partition but then many in his party feared that denying the Islamic territory would lead to a full scale war I mean there's I think basically partition was going to result in deaths, whatever.

49:26I mean, sectarian violence was about to erupt, whatever happened. Whether they stayed together, it was going to erupt. Yeah. It's the troubles with so many more people, right? Yeah. And also... It's just you scale it at exponential trouble. It's on double speed. Yeah. I mean, quadruple speed. Because the numbers are just crazy. Crazy numbers, but also it's the troubles within the space of about a year. Potentially 2 million people died due to sectarian violence. Yeah. 20 million people are displaced. People try and run to the... Yeah. They keep the border secret for a couple of days. And then they go, right, this is the border.

49:55So is it sort of musical chairs? Sort of. The music stops, go, and they have to run. And on the day of partition, Gandhi does not celebrate. Instead, he fucking just weaves, spins wool and appeals for peace. And he starts fasting. And it's like, mate, get your head in the fucking game, Gandhi. Like you're not seeing what's happening. He has an insanely naive view of human nature. He doesn't understand humanity at all because he thinks that everyone should be as not a paedophile as he is. Yes, but I think his oddness and his commitment to being a fucking weirdo, sort of like hardest geezer type thing, does still capture the imagination of people.

50:41But I don't think it should. I really don't think it should. He did affect a lot of change, she did but he shouldn't have. No, I think people, I think the cartoonish 2D idea people have of him is not, like it's, I think he, He's a pedo. I think he was a mad pedo. Well, he's famously not a pedo, is he? He got a boner with his granddaughter. Yeah, he didn't do anything with him. He didn't have sex with her. I think if you get a boner, if you have a boner with your granddaughter, you are a pedo. Yeah, but are you testing it? Well, what's the line between bad grandpa and pedo? Boner in bed with your granddaughter.

51:14Okay, fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. i think he's he's a true historic figure who's completely mad and has just happened to be right place right time his madness has somehow worked to build a nation and do you know what i mean like he's just he should be shouting at pigeons yes and it just it's happened it is literally like the plot that you know the sellers film being there you know it's basically i got i He's an idiot savant. Yeah, the whole civil disobedience thing is, like, that is the only thing that kind of worked and caught the imagination of people, made it a mass movement. I get that.

51:53Yeah. But everything else he believed, the way, like, the tree where that... Any other situation apart from Indian independence. Nonsense. No, complete. Doesn't work at all. Looney. Looney at a bus stop. Yeah. Now, his wife, his long-suffering wife, having dealt with the fact that he was using his granddaughter as a boner test as opposed to his wife his soulmate Kasturba who again I imagine he hated because he'd been fucking her when his dad died yeah probably she died in 1944 of bronchitis and pneumonia now British doctors were recommending administering the newly available penicillin Gandhi refused he believed the drug went against his principles of non-violence because penicillin is violence that's awesome yeah wife dying of cancer no no she must die and he said he said to his son who was like can you give her the penicillin he was like why don't you trust God she died shortly afterwards Gandhi said I've got malaria yeah I'll have some of that penicillin turns out that's brilliant which is kind I'm coming back round to Gandhi that is kind of awesome that's great that is awesome that is absolutely awesome I mean that's amazing isn't it I mean has anyone's wife ever been as much of a bin as Gandhi's like I need to do I need to do a sexual uh urge test uh granddaughter no you're right you're right uh I don't think we should try that drug out on you no no oh yeah yeah dead I mean the level of disrespect is astonishing it's quite amazing yeah for for a man who uh you a proponent of women's freedom yeah the freedom from life-saving drugs freedom from penicillin ugly bitch wife crazy absolutely crazy so now he loves fasting as well we haven't really talked about but he loves attention he does love attention he loves attention that's what keeps him sustained yeah he's fasting for attention yeah so his final fast is in January January 1948 oh I'm so hungry oh he's kind of like Ariana Grande sort of on the Wicked Press tour you know it's just like I'm waiting I'm fucking fucking reference is that to a straight man with a mortgage Ariana Grande on a wicked press tour the fuck are you on about they cry they did a lot of interviews and did a lot of crying they're kind of like they're kind of they want people to think that they're wasting away I've got two kids and a mortgage you think I'm watching the wicked press tour sorry apologies thank you accept apology accepted I don't know what reference would more be your speed I don't know make it about Top Gear or football it's like Clarkson right he's on a promotional tour yes for the new series of Clarkson's Farm yes and then him and Caleb yes both are kind of in competitive eating disorders right see who can lose the most weight I get it now there's this weird kind of bond they have okay yeah thank you Christ yeah happened to translate sorry we're in co-host Ariana Grande on the Wicked Press Tour his voice became so faint people had to put their ears to his lips to hear him attention seeking.

55:02Yeah, it's people who, it's that thing, power move of speaking quietly. I'm a little ickle girl, you know. I couldn't possibly, he's doing, I couldn't possibly come. He's doing chick shit. He is doing chick shit. This is so like, he had to be carried in a cot. I'm so faint. Carried in a cot, like a baby. Girls who don't eat anything before a night out, get absolutely blackout drunk. Yeah. Have to get put to the head, looked after, you know. Yeah. It's that whole thing. It's the whole process. Gandhi shit. Don't try that Gandhi shit with me. Eat some fucking dinner. Skinny legend, yeah. So he's fasting for Hindu-Muslim unity.

55:39He had three demands. Hindus and Sikhs had occupied all these mosques in Delhi. He demands they can be vacated. He demands a reunion of hearts where Muslims could walk the streets of Delhi without fear of being killed. And India had agreed to pay Pakistan 550 million rupees as part of the asset split, but the Indian government was withholding it because the two nations were at war over Kashmir. Gandhi views this as a breach of honour demands India to pay the money immediately he's 78 years old his kidneys are failing by the third day of his hunger strike citizens begin to sign peace pledges the fast last five days and then it ends after 130 representatives sign a peace pledge promising to protect Muslims and return their property so it does work yeah it does work but I guess you know by this point partitions already happened but I guess he's trying to stop the violence post partition yeah still think he's a wanker so now we get to Bobby Sansy I guess yeah very much so it's not a huge hunger strikes for a political cause oh like Bobby Sandy Sandy Bobby Sandy Bob's Bob Sandy Andy, that should be that, Bob Sand.

56:58Send Bobby Sands. Send Bobby Sands, that's it, yeah. Fucking Wicked Maiden, I reckon. Send Bobby Sands, yeah. Is that when you, like, send your... Go on. No, it's Indian Bobby Sands, send Bobby Sands. Yeah. Yeah. It's there. It's as good as we're going to get it. Send Bobby Stan. Yeah. Yeah, anyway. So, let's get to his death. Okay, now... Let's kill him. Let's kill this cunt, please. I can't deal... He's so annoying. He's so annoying. Now, Nathuram Godzi, who is a Hindu nationalist, who they're putting statues of up now because of Modi and the BJP. He had twice tried to stab Gandhi in 1944. This is what I don't understand.

57:49So there's so many assassination attempts. I don't know how they haven't caught him. They're quite back to back. this is how's this guy still around but imagine there's a massive mob all these things and he's just running and you know so on the 20th of January 1948 Godseet makes his third assassination attempt he follows Gandhi to a park where he was giving a speech but look sorry look the first time he tries to stab Gandhi twice both times stopped and apprehended yeah don't do that again yeah alright I promise okay okay and he comes back because a lot of assassins you feel like in the moment they might try and do something but then they get a clear head afterwards.

58:26But he's like, he's not going to stop until he kills it. No. So he throws a grenade near the crowd to cause chaos and evacuate the area. With Gandhi isolated, the plan was to throw a second grenade at him directly. However, he loses courage and joins the crowd that's running away. So he gets scared of his own grenade. He goes, what the fuck is that? Right. He might just be a really, really bad assassin. Someone's trying to kill Gandhi. Fuck. So then on the 30th of January, having given, having given a speech, he shoots now he goes right up have you seen a fish called Wanda? yeah do you know when he's trying to kill the woman and he keeps killing the dogs this is basically this guy up until this point so he goes it looks like he's about to bow at his feet and instead he shoots him three times in the stomach in front of his family allegedly he tries to shoot himself but his arm gets pulled away he gets beaten by sticks now he is strongly opposed to the partition of India and blames Gandhi's methods in failing to keep India as one nation.

59:26So... Interesting. Which is interesting. But Gandhi agrees with him, right? Well, yeah. They're on the same team. But he thinks that Gandhi is... Yeah. Gandhi hasn't... I don't know. The fact that he wasn't using violence. I guess, does he think that Hindus should be using violence to corral the Muslim as a minority? Yes, within a big Indian super state. But also, it's like... India's so fucking big. Do you need Pakistan as well? Do you know what I mean? I know. It's like, it's already massive. Yeah. You know. You would be a bit sad if they just cut off half the country though. I guess so. I'd be sad if they just like got rid of...

1:00:04Which bit though? Because it's a small country. If we lost like Dorset, that would be a bit... Yeah. But which, but you know, there's some bits that we could... Where would you lose? Swindon. No, no, I would lose sort of Lincoln and up towards... I think the cathedral is pretty big. Yeah, but, you know. Is it worth the rest of the county? And then, like, up towards that sort of... Like, the north-east is great, but there's definitely a point before it becomes Norfolk, that bit, bin. Right. Just its own state. Boring, Stan. Just fucking sink it, I don't know. Right. Whatever that bit is. I like to pretend, when I go to, like, a town or like a village next to a town, I'll stand right on the sign where it says welcome to kind of Tilbury.

1:00:55Yeah. And then I'll just stand right on the border and then you're kind of in the mid, you're like, if you're between Bedbrook and Tilbury, then you're in Bedbury or Tilbury. Yeah, another very violent border. Yes, of course. Famously, the partition caused millions of deaths. But if you're like Tilbury and Bedbury. If you're on the border of like Pakistan and India, you're in Pak India. dangerous dangerous in Dan in Dan in yeah do you ever do that sorry do you ever like stand on the border of little towns and villages and pretend you're in both or by I do that with counties sometimes but not with I've I've got things to do I'm not doing that I've got a lot on fucking just aimlessly standing at points on a map yeah so uh Godsey is imprisoned and then it's it's eventually executed in 1949 um but is now being kind of rehabilitated under modi as a hindu nationalist and and as we were saying modi is trying to make india or certainly the politics more masculine and so he he wants to encourage a more macho violent politics which he thinks gandhi was a sort of little feminine annoying did gandhi help define because i guess because gandhi happened post-world war ii gandhi's death did he was he kind of quite a definitive figure in the sort of post-war consensus right in the kind of like global peace un sort of it felt like that it was living in a little bit of like a gandhi quite feminine age where it was like yes it would that was quite a celebrated view yeah we're all human we're all the internationalism and that is now come crashing to an end.

1:02:39That's true. It's kind of like in that new world being like Gandhi feels like you're very vulnerable to getting fucked by Putin or the Ayatollah or Trump or Xi. In India every city has Gandhi Street or Gandhi Square. He's on all the money. He's called Bapu, isn't it? He's the father of the nation. Bad Poo. Bad Poo. He probably did have Bad Poo if he only ate nuts. Over one million Indians go to Gandhi's funeral, I guess proportionally. That's quite a lot of staff. It's about 300 equivalent in the UK. Loads of that. Fucking hell. Yeah. A lot of people didn't turn up. That's like an average Indian wedding though.

1:03:18Yeah. So there are people tearing statues down of Gandhi in South Africa. Very funny. Hashtag Gandhi must fall. In 2019, a Hindu right-wing group had organised an event to celebrate the 71st anniversary of Gandhi's assassination. Interesting. Pooja Pandey who's Pooja Pandey? why is that in the script? have you Pooja Pandey? Charlie when was the last time you Pooja Pandey? Pooja Pandey she's an actress she's gorgeous she was born in Jabalpur you don't need to tell us the story but how long ago did you last Pooja Pandey? just time Pooja Pandey don't need a story I think that's the most Indian name of all time Pooja Pandey?

1:04:01Pooja Pandey oh my god she's Pooja Pandey Mahatma Gandhi's Pooja Bandits

1:04:09I can't remember I think within the last like couple I think on a train in the last couple of years right just doesn't even doesn't even remember just I know it in a couple of years probably yeah I mean like you know it's etched into me every time when I last chat myself and it was it was maybe 20 oh no it was when who's Prime Minister so sorry the one I'm thinking of in Edinburgh Festival was. Which Prime Minister? Which Prime Minister? It would have been David Cameron. So it's the Cameron years. Cameron years. But I think it would have been... It was a different time though. It was a different time.

1:04:45I could have shat myself under trust. I mean, we were all... So that little window. We were all very loose down there. Now I'm thinking of a moment where I was taking my... So just before the Queen died? Or after? Look, down there it was very unstable when trust was in government. I've been very clear about that. My lower half was at risk from all angles. And then you find out the Queen's dead. No, I'm more mean that there was a moment where it could have been Boris Johnson actually, but I was walking my daughter to nursery. She'd had a shitting bug. She'd recovered and I was getting it. And it's a five minute walk.

1:05:18And as I was on the way there, basically just did a fart but shat myself. Turned around. No, I was like, well, they have to be there by a certain time to get breakfast. So I just got there and had some small talk with parents. they didn't know that there was just sort of shit in my ass but the nursery drop-off there's always such a sort of fecal smell because there's just kids booing in nappies and there's nappy bin there that no one thought it was me you know i was hiding in plain sight would you say the perfect crime uh i guess turning up to a place that smells like shit i mean of all the places i had to go that day it happened at the perfect time but it's more the realization of like shitting myself going oh no So I'm going to have to keep going.

1:05:56Get that hot dog meme up. You know, the guy in the hot dog costume. Yeah, saying, we need to find who did this. Yeah, that's me. So, oh, God. Yeah, that's me.

1:06:08So I do think I shot myself under Boris Johnson. Pooja Pandy's. Sorry, Pooja Pandy's. I met Pooja Pandy when Boris Johnson was Prime Minister. But Pooja Pandy shot an effigy with an air pistol after garlanding a picture of Godsey, who was the guy who shot Gandhi. So people are shooting effigies of Gandhi because he's been seen as too moderate by some right-wing Hindus. Yeah, I wonder if there's any... The equivalent would be left-wing people who hate Blair, I guess. Yeah, centrist. Yes. Sort of. For like selling out. Yeah. But it's the opposite way around, I suppose. Very strange, confusing. Yeah.

1:06:46But then I do have sympathy. I do think that the more you understand who he was, i mean he's a fucking he's a friend you understand the man who shot him in the head yes yes i do no the more the more you understand the figure the more you as you've said you think in any other set of circumstances this guy would just be a crank but that's why i like him as a historic figure oh no he's definitely a historic figure i'm not saying that's why i find him interesting he is he is very interesting he just the time he came in his his very specific mode of madness did change the world. But in the way that like Rasputin has this reputation, Gandhi should have a similar reputation.

1:07:27As a mad cunt who changed the world. Yeah, Rasputin. Right? Yeah. Right? You should have been on that, Charlie. Yeah, I know. Finn should not have to be doing those. So that's a warning. I'm taking your shots for you at this point. This is not Finn's job. Right? We've got a lot to think about up here. That's your job. I'm trying to farm the strike here. Right? But like, Gandhi should have Rasputin's reputation. Yeah. Right? this mad mystic with a big hog right who influenced events instead people see him as this like monk like ascetic ideal almost to like an ideal the ideal of non-violence yeah what a brilliant non-violent ideal for the people of the world to look up to he used his granddaughter as a boner test you know like I don't see I guess the full picture of the man I wish more people knew about.

1:08:21Yeah, he used two young women as a Zimber frame. Yeah, he's crazy. Crazy by today's standards. But a fascinating figure. Closing thoughts, Charlie. What are your thoughts on Gandhi? I used to think that Gandhi was the Dalai Lama. Right. Sorry, we've been podcasting for four hours and you've just told us that you've, have you thought this whole time we've been talking about Dalai Lama? No, I used to think, before this, I used to think that I thought it was kind of like the Pope. Was he one of the Dalai Lama or did you think Dalai Lama was one guy? I thought it was a big succession of Gandhis. Oh, they're all called Gandhis.

1:08:51Like the Pope. Yes. Right. Right. So it was just one of many Gandhis. And they're all pedos. The Pope and the Gandhis are all pedos. What? Well, the Dalai Lama and the Pope. And the Dalai Lama's a pedo as well. He got with that kid. The time thing. Yeah. I just think if you're too religious, you get a bit high on your own supply and you do some crumb mad stuff. If you're not allowed to regularly have a woman's touch. Yeah. Or just rub one out. Yeah. if you're not allowing yourself that it gets a bit fruity I guess what we've learned listeners is that life's about simple pleasures yeah a well a well cooked steak a quick wank in the shower cunnilingus and cake cunnilingus and cake yeah that's what life's about really and all this fucking you know eating nuts wearing a loincloth eating nuts three hours in the toilet three hours in the toilet you know it's not healthy at the end of the day appreciate the small things in life that's my lesson that's what we've learned that's what we've learned from the Gandhi series thank you very much for sticking with us if you've enjoyed this and would like more we have bonus episodes on the and Hinduism we're talking about the Kama Sutra we're talking about Hindus and the Nazis that's on the Patreon where you get instant access this is India week it's India fortnight it's India fortnight so all our toilets are going to be absolutely pollocked because of this yeah thanks very much Patreons and listeners we'll see you on the Patreon for more and if not we'll see you next week for a brand new topic on Finvers history goodbye namaste

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