Hindu Mussolini’s Vulva Envy | Mahatma Gandhi (Part 3/4)

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1:25Welcome back, pigos. It's part three of our Gandhi epic. I'm with Horatio Gould. Bloody hell. Fucking hell, it came out of the hand funny. He's gone for it. He's gone for it. He's done a big old Indian googly. Bloody bastard. Part three. You think we're safe in part three? Yeah. Buried. Buried. Buried deep. Who's got part one and part two and go, that fucking hell, what's that? I thought, bloody bastard. No, turn that off. Turn that off. Not for me. We are in India though. We're back in India. Gandhi's been in South Africa in the 1890s and he's a product of that time and place. It's the 90s. It's the 90s.

1:58It's a different time. Different time. There was no phones. You know, Blair, there was no social media. the 90s, the end of history, the 1890s. You know? So Gandhi returns to India, having spent 21 years in South Africa, having supported the British in the Boer War. And you understand Gandhi at this point. I understand Gandhi. Gandhi very handy. Yeah. Gandhi very randy. Yeah. Gandhi not on Mandy. Now, he's involved in the Boer War, the Zulu uprisings, and a miners' strike. And he's developed his Satyagadha philosophy. truth force right that sounds like a russell brand like well live stream this is the long road to russell brand it is he's a bit of a gandhi the russell brand pervy guy in a fucking bath towel wrestle brussell brand could have done with a lot more semen retention yes that's true uh but anyway back to fucking russell bindi um gandhi returns to india in 1915 and he is now engaged in resistance against the british right Anakin has become Darth Vader he's been corrupted he has uh he begins when he joins the Indian National Congress which is the leading political party for Indian independence because but this is during the war this is Ireland trying to get into everyone's now now that we're busy it's just fucking can you just wait till we're finished all of you all of you this is not the time our weakest they try to take advantage of us I know it's terrible it's disgraceful it's as i said they're the empire in star wars and we the british empire are the brave rebels the death star of the irish independence movement the brave the brave soldiers who shot shot of the easter rising is the the ewoks and the x-wings i love star wars what a great franchise um world war one uh gandhi attempts again he's still he's still on our side at this point gandhi attempts to recruit non-combatants to join the british forces during world war one he wants to show that the british empire that young indians can show their capability to self-govern it's a it's an error to do that you're wrong gandhi that's not how colonialism works okay we will use you as your expedient yeah so because from the british perspective if they're like was like brilliant they're helping us handy gandy until you're not handy gandy yeah exactly yeah so his friends are not impressed with this though with one writing i was struck to the heart this morning with sorrow to see that you and other Indian friends had offered to serve the English government in this evil war in any way they might demand of you.

4:31Surely, you who would not take up arms, even in the cause of your own oppressed people, cannot be willing to shed blood in this wicked cause. And again, it's his contradiction. He's non-violent and yet he's getting involved. Yeah. But he's doing ambulance shit. He's sort of like a war cuck. Go on. Isn't he? He's not getting involved but he's sort of... He's there. He's there. He's watching. I just wanted to watch you. no no no i wouldn't be involved no no no please please please you go ahead though so he's standing on the sidelines watching the people fight yeah and yes i suppose he's he's he's is he gaining some sort of spiritual power well it's all very consistent i guess the cuck semen retention it's all consistent well the cuck masturbates not always the self-controlled cuck sometimes there's a level well I suppose actually as we'll get to the next episode Gandhi would test himself by watching what did you just flick across the screen there Charlie I was just thinking if he ever said did he say I'm non-violent because you took away so quickly and it's rare for you to do that so can you bring that back up please makes me think it's something absolutely abhorrent it's not actually oh that's why you probably took away so quickly no this is a good search you need to get that away immediately well is it non-violent or violent nard sorry sorry i'm non-violent or did he actually mean i'm violent not well i imagine he could have said it like that but maybe he could have gone like this i'm super violent on opposite day that's what i mean right well maybe yeah i guess maybe if gandhi saw it permanently being opposite day oh well it's a war brilliant i'm really violent and we've translated it as non-violent yes well it's easy to yeah it's the same the same thing it's how english works isn't it that that's how borat speaks well they still achieve the same end it's just a different mode of communication go on mahatma borandi mahatma boratandi my wife i hate my wife i hate my wife i do not fuck my wife do not the fuck my wife well we'll get into uh mahatma and the jews next episode but um yeah no it's it's it's not he's non-violent not violent nah well he could do that yeah i could do that Yeah, I'll fight with the one.

6:42He's not a laugh, though. No, he's not. Sorry, he's a laugh. Yeah, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to go have a wank later. It's a lot of that, really, isn't it? Anything that someone normally would do, he does it and then goes, Yeah, he's not bantering about it. No, he was... There was the video of him. He's wanking in the mirror, he's like, you will never get this because he's not allowed to come. Right, right. You will never get this. Up to himself. Yeah. Do you remember that? What do you mean? You'll never get this. What do you mean you remember this? From the film. Do you remember when Borat's like, you'll never get this, you'll never get this.

7:15He's preventing somebody from shagging their sister or something. Oh, sorry, right. And he's wanking them. I thought, because you're such a sexual freak, I thought you masturbate in the mirror by going, you're never going to get this. You do masturbate in the mirror though, Charlie. No, I don't. Charlie, you do. I have done to see what it looks like and it looks horrible. Yeah. And now I do it on the bed. But I imagine you talk to yourself going, you're never going to get this. You're not worth this. You're never going to get this. You're not deserve this. You're disgusting. Yeah. You're mogging yourself.

7:40You're wank-mogging yourself. Am I using that right? I'm having a conversation. Sorry? I'm having a conversation. Sorry, it's a dialogue. Of course, it's a dialogue. He believes every wank is a dialogue. It's not a monologue. You get to know yourself and you grow. With every single wank, you grow. So that's Gandhi's philosophy. With every wank, you grow. Gandhi believes that Indians could not choose to refuse service to the motherland, the empire. they had to contribute to the defense of the empire to legitimize their plight to then leave its rule. Kind of makes sense. But he's actively avoiding discussions of home rule with political parties.

8:16And all his focus is on the war effort. However, Gandhi concedes that he fails to recruit a single combatant. So again, when it's stuff like being a lawyer or actually trying to, you know, he's a bit shit. Like it's that thing we say in the last episode, he opens his mouth and it's like are you actually just a bit thick he's a silent guy he's a silent guy a strong silent type yep or rather a weak wankless he's kind of silent and annoying which is a kind of rare combination very rare it's loud and annoying right punchable face yeah a silent annoying man that's a rare yeah unique character they are rare but sometimes you see people on the street and you go fuck I don't know why but I fucking hate you I fucking hate you I'd like I'd cross the street to punch you yeah don't stare at me like that sorry nothing like I wouldn't piss yeah it's Beethoven's brother I wouldn't I wouldn't piss on you if you're on fire that's Gandhi after saying he's going to join the war effort yeah that's when he's going to use violence in the war nah that's Gandhi after he was like ask me where I was when my dad died fucking railing a 15 year old so guilty mate yeah I feel so ashamed about how much fucking pussy I was getting I feel so guilty nah so he tries to recruit for World War I and then we get to these two Satiragraha Champaran and Ahmedabad now is Champaran the name of that filthy novel my wife reads what's that that filthy fucking sex book that's got like a what's the sex girls what's the sex book called that all the women read with the fairies and all the bollocks Court of Thlearn Roses there's that one there's another one there's another there's another big Indian book that actually might not have anything to do with sex women are actually very similar to Gandhi go on in that they read horny fiction, but then you try it on.

10:07They go, what are you doing? I'm reading. I go, you're not reading. Come on. You're basically masturbating. You're asking for it. You're masturbating. I'm reading that in public on the tube, but I don't know you. You're asking for it. Yeah, they read horny books. Anyway, one of them might be called Champaran. No, I'm thinking of Santharam. Maybe it's not horny. I don't know. Women's fiction just remains a mystery to me. Fiction remains a mystery. Get me into the military history section of the Waterstones. It's not Mark Ramprakash, Charlie. I know who that is. Champaran Satgayara. Fucking whatever.

10:39Gandhi supports farmers who had started an uprising after they were being forced to grow indigo without payment. I don't think I can be your friend, Isabella said. Rebecca's stomach flipped. This is the love story of real hinge couple Isabella and Rebecca, written and read by me, Temby Denton-Hurst. Listen to the free audiobook now.

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11:42Blue is the warmest color. Yeah, all that. This episode of Fin vs. History is sponsored by Surfshark. Ooh. Yes. Yes. VPN. We love it. Vag Pussy Nunga Nungas. It's all there. This is the opposite of that. This is not a Vag Pussy Nunga Nungas. This is a virtual private network. Okay. with which you can explore images of Vag Pussy Nunga Nungas. Admittedly, if you talk about a virtual private network too much, you'll never really be able to see a Vag Pussy or Nunga Nungas. So weirdly, they're kind of... Pick a team, fellas. Pick a team. You'll scare away all the Vag Pussy and Nunga Nungas if you keep talking about a virtual private network.

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12:53False nine. And Keir Starmer and Reg Roozer just there going, we can't find the command center. Where's it gone? Where's the command center? Where's this man wanking? you'll never find me I'm using Surfshark these are the unique benefits of Surfshark secure your digital life with Surfshark VPN it's a risk free 30 day money back guarantee as we always say the risk free is on the guarantee of the money not what you're looking at at the internet not the filth that you want to use this VPN for Surfshark take no liability for what you're looking at nor do me nor do me nor do me if you go to surfshark.com slash FVH or click the link below you will get four extra months of surf shark don't let keir starmer's online threats catch you off guard keep your data safe and see you next time now dye was being made artificially in germany and therefore was obsolete for farmers to grow however during the war german dye production falls through the floor so the britons then make uh uh they force the indians to grow it so gandhi goes to meet the farmers uh they that angers the colonial authorities who immediately demand that he gets deported um and then gandhi defies the order speaks to over 8 000 people and he concludes very quietly very quietly though whisper on the mount he concludes the farmers are ignorant of their own economic worth and sets up organizations to improve conditions uh and then they start this new committee and anyway there's a champeran agrarian bill is introduced thanks to the protest so again i mean it's this it's pretty dry stuff this is fibrous come on okay we've started part three are we at the fiber bit yet hey we're not the phone no no calm down we're not that bit look the problem with gandhi is that what he's known for right what what most people know him for is actually very very boring and annoying but he's a little annoying wanker but you get past the servers and he's an absolute creature which is not boring no far from it it's opposite of boring but we have to deal with what he actually did why people know why he's on the fucking bank note it's because he was a snotty little wank well he wasn't a snotty little uh wank resistor yeah yeah he wasn't he was a wanker wasn't even wanking he was annoying he was a prick right gandhi's a sort of professional prick but we have to deal with him being a prickish yeah in order to get to the good the stuff where he's you know got to dig through we've got to dig through right so in armadabad in 1918 there was a mill strike yeah fuck yeah mill strike ladies um the the workers were forced to work under bad conditions there'd been a plague and then in 1917 and they got a plague bonus 75 was added onto their wages to persuade them to stay and work through the plague yeah just work it through it work through it when the plague subsides the So treating the plague like man flu.

15:45Yes. I mean, imagine COVID, where he's like, we're just going to pay you more to keep working. Anyway, the mill owners tried to remove the bonus after the plague, but then the workers tried to fight back. Blah, blah, blah. Gandhi protests, and he demands 35 % pay increase, only an eight-hour workday rather than a 15 one. That's work nonsense. Anyway, the mill owners don't respond. So Gandhi calls for a non-violent strike. 100 ,000 laborers picket the mill. The British administration gives in and offers the workers a pay rise. And so, again, Gandhi is showing that not listening pays dividends. For the Brits, this is going out of control.

16:27If you give the kids an inch, they'll take a mile. Discipline. Where's the discipline gone? In the house. So we get to the Roller Tacks of March 1919. This is discipline. this authorizes the imprisonment of anyone suspected of terrorism in india for two years without trial yeah okay straight to bed and if i think it's now suspicious if you're doing semen retention if i was the british empire i'd be like anyone who else is joining in this this quiet protest should be sectioned under the terrorism act yes because that's you cannot be that's gearing up for war if you're yeah why are you holding on to it yeah so you better get that out right let me have some at gunpoint i'll be making them all drain it out so that indians at their weakest because then the horniness is out but that's a bit like um the ira handing in all their weapons in the 90s isn't it i mean like a gun amnesty it's like get everyone just drain yeah drain drain milk yourself now yeah and they're too powerful otherwise i mean enoch powell called it the rivers of blood really it's the rivers of cum yeah it's draining out but then the life force of India draining with much cum the banks of the river the river but then what have you what have you Googled Charlie if all 8 billion people on earth moaned at the same time the sound would be would not be a singular deafening explosion but it would be exceptionally loud likely comparable to a heavy thunderstorm or a very noisy football stadium so it'd be like the new camp but everyone's coming right I wonder if a quiet moan if everyone did it would it have any sort of effect if it was just like oh Eight billion people going, but then you can only hear what's around you, can't you?

18:05Yeah. I mean, we'd probably hear... You'd hear it up north. What do you mean? What do you mean? You'd hear what up north? You'd hear it up north. Right. If everyone cared. You heard. I don't know. Anyway, so the roll attack. Listen, we're about to get to some good stuff. Yeah. Okay. Look, stay with me. Gandhi's being a prick in India. He's being snide. He's being, I'm actually, I'm not going to listen to you. I think I know better than you, all that stuff. Right. But then with the Roller-Tact, Gandhi realizes that Britain see Indians as a threat. And so he leads nationwide protests against it.

18:48And now we get to one of the defining boo-boos of the British Empire, the Amritsar Massacre, April 13th, 1919. Let's place this. This is a week before Hitler's 30th birthday. Oh, that's it. He probably was feeling quite like weird before a week before his 30th. Well, he's like, he's an adult, you know. God, am I ready to start adulting now? Should I, you know, I'm writing books in prison. Is this what I'm going to be doing? Yeah, exactly. Like all my kids, all my friends are having kids, getting married. What am I doing? You know, I can't even fucking, I can't even. It's like you just turned. so Hitler's Charlie's age yes Hitler is Charlie's age and Charlie you feel a big turn since 30 the way that people maybe perceive you maybe yeah I've got I've I've decided I want to make a change I want to I want to you don't seem to be making much of a change what change have you decided to make because you were on a massive bender all weekend yeah I mean I want to do more of that and yeah okay so putting the foot on the gas actually yeah I'm having a kind of a 30 man crisis right is that normal yeah I think so I mean Hitler It depends if you think it was a crisis or not.

19:58Or a moment of clarity.

20:02Yeah. A profound moment of clarity. Hitler just took some time to say. He shut up the noise and thought what was really going on. He cut through the crap and he just started. He went, you know what? I'm going to change things around here. It's dangerous. It's dangerous when they have moments of clarity and you hit 30. Isn't a creative, artistic guy like you? He was. And he also had a failed artistic career. Yeah. Of course. You've got an album on Spotify. How many monthly listeners do you have? Four. Have you got an album on Spotify? Yeah, it's called Sponsored Walk. Right. Is it poetry? Is it rapping?

20:33No, it's music. It's proper music, yeah. When did that go up there? That went off about three years ago. Wow. There's a Spanish song. So about the same time as you stopped throwing shit in the toilet from the shower, you released an album on Spotify? Yeah. I need to channel stuff differently. Yeah. Well, that makes a lot of sense. Please listen. You've got Express. Yeah. Do you want people to listen? I'd love that, yeah. Link it. How many tracks are there? Ten. Ten tracks. One of them's based on my experience at Pure Gym St. Paul's. That's the best one, I think. I'm Charlie from the site. Charlie from the site.

21:02Do you want to give us some lyrics? How you doing? Are you all right? My name is Charlie and I will not bite. How you doing? Are you all right? It's Charlie from the site, site, site. So what's going on upstairs? How are the cogs? Are they spinning like nobody's business? Or are they feeling a little slow, a bit rusty? Or maybe they're nice and calm, just right. See, the key, as far as I can tell, is to do things that make you feel like you're helping yourself. a general sense of progress of all forms of caution. Caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. So love yourself and love your companions.

21:33So this is where Hitler's sort of at. You know, he's transitioning from this failed career doing that. And now he's making a real turn into politics. He's writing a book. It's the same thing, isn't it? Hitler writes a book. Sponsor walk. Yeah, Mein Kampf. Mein Kampf. Sponsor walk. Anyway, look, The Amaritsar Massacre is in 1919. So to place this, it's a week of Hitler's 30th, but we've dealt with that. It is. It's after the Treaty of Versailles. Yes, that's only just happened. And this is before I completed Pokemon on Game Boy at Versailles Palace when I was an eight-year-old. Really? Yeah. School trip, took my Game Boy, nailed it.

22:19Did you finish it while you were in the palace? Yeah. So you were like, this French shit is boring as hell. Yeah, I was like, fuck this. I just completed Pokemon Game Boy. And I was fat. I was in France. And I obviously hated France. So I was like, fuck this. I got a Game Boy. Pokemon. You know, the visceral memories of just having the best time ever. On the Eurostar, it was like, was I eight? Maybe I was 10. Maybe I was 10, something like that. Playing Game Boy, I think it just does not get better. It does get better. Yeah. And then we arrived in France. I was like, I was right. It does not get better.

22:46It just gets worse. Yeah. god the game boys never the game was the best they were there was an innocence to the game that that felt like a kind of golden age of gaming because now it's just too hyper real you know it's always now it's insane it's too much you know you couldn't if you were playing game boy and you had a headset on and you were like screaming the n-word you know there wasn't license to do that you know you weren't being sort of insanely racist playing game boy by yourself um anyway so the the amritsar massacre is uh look it's it's sort of um it's bloody sunday for the indians in a way yeah for the the numbers are quite a bit bigger than the police well india's a bigger place it's proportionally it's bigger yeah so look there's thousands allegedly are gathered uh for a punjabi festival in a public garden in amritsar some doubt on those numbers though.

23:38Punjabi. It's not Punjabi MC Charlie before you ask. No Punjabi. No Punjabi. But yes Punjabi. That's quite serious what happens Charlie. Do you know what this is? No. No okay. The word massacre may maybe do some heavy lifting there. Didn't hear that. Didn't touch the sides. Okay. So thousands are gathered for a festival in a public garden in Amritsar. They are peacefully protesting the roll attack and the garden is crucially surrounded by high walls and there's one narrow exit which Brigadier General Reginald dyer a trustworthy man a trustworthy man uh a good man a friend of the pod he arrives a responsible man finally an adult's arrived he arrives with 50 troops first thing we're all blocked the exit and then without warning he just starts says open fire and they all start shooting until they run out of ammunition he was decisive he acted robustly indecisive i mean you've got to be able to make give it to him that was a decisive yeah sort of decision look at look at him look at this guy he He looks exactly how you think he would.

24:36A strong jaw, a big tash, not a hint of conscience on him. He sleeps like a baby. He falls asleep immediately. As soon as the day of the Amazard Massacre. Anyway, not that. Yeah. Yeah. He, yeah, so they just fire all the ammunition. To escape the bullets, people jumped into a well where they drowned or get crushed. Well, you can't blame him for that. No, that is shit. That's silly. Don't do that. That's dangerous. And that's a coincidence. You can't be taking responsibility for the well jumpers. No, look, some people were murdered. Some people just killed themselves by jumping into a well. Now, the Indian estimates say that 1 ,000 people died.

25:20Official figures, though, says that it was only 379 deaths. Yeah. And Ritz-A-Chorst deniers, basically. And Ritz-A-Chorst, yeah, exactly. Well, there's two sets of figures. You can choose which ones make more sense. to this day I don't believe the British government has ever apologised should we apologise as representatives yeah of the Amrit's I Massacre are we sorry are you sorry no one I no one I linked to was involved yeah so it's not our responsibility no not our circus not our monkeys that's my view on the Amrit's massacre not my circus not my monkeys Queen Elizabeth II and David Cameron expressed deep regret that's not an apology no did they regret how few people they killed I'm sorry that you took offence to our response how much do the Indians care about the Ritsa massacre is it big because that's one of the big as you're saying there was the they tried to kill they tried to kill the queen in 2021 someone who did an intruder broke into Windsor Castle in 2021 and citing the massacre as a motive for an attempted assassination of the queen so were they Indian or they just you'd hope so you'd hope so well when we talked about the irish having like four members of the band of colonial atrocities bloody sunday the famine cromwell india sort of have that and this is one of the pillars yes there was the jaipur uprising when that was there's the one that happened in 1857 jaipur jaipur one out yeah for all the people that died yeah uh there's a couple but we don't get told about them.

26:57So I don't really know. The five pillars of empire. The Amritsar massacre definitely does not come up ever in any sort of... No. No one brings it up. It's under here. It's under the rug. Keep that under there. General Reginald Dyer becomes known as the butcher of Amritsar and he enforces the... Which is very rude because butchers are untouchables, right? Yes. You know, the caste system, it's a deep, deep insult to call him a butcher. It's like saying he's a poo handler. Yeah. the sewage worker of amritsar uh he enforces the crawling order which means he makes indian men like snakes through a narrow street where a female british missionary had been assaulted he shows no remorse stating intended to produce a quote moral effect he was eventually censured is just no remorse no it's no remorse yeah i mean you're getting close to a mustache yeah doing this podcast no remorse no remorse no never back down never surrender i'd do it again i only stopped because i ran out of bullets fuck off he was eventually censored by a committee and he was hailed as a hero by the house of lords right well they raised a 26 000 pounds defense fund for him right well that's take me back to an age the defense fund you could gun down unarmed civilians and then the british government would start a go fund me for your legal defense he's a hero yeah that's a that's an empire man that is uh gandhi however uh i mean you can imagine what he thinks about this uh diarism is not the real seat of the disease only the symptom the real disease is the belief that the british can do no wrong so he's already losing his head he's losing his marbles at this point gandhi's gone cuckoo um now when's the thing that when's the thing that like a bomb in a they set fire to people don't they there's a that's that's vietnam right no no this is a day after the amritsar massacre also in the Punjab region, there's the Gurjanwala bombings.

28:55This is after the arrest of local leaders. There are protests that break out in Gurjanwala and they burn a railway station. And then the British send in three RAF planes and drop bombs and fire machine guns into the town. They drop a bomb at a school. And the British Secretary of State for India defended the use of planes, saying it was a military necessity to disperse bombs. But would you not agree that Britain has a right to defend itself? Britain has a right to exist, and a right to defend itself. Okay, I don't know why we only say Israel has that right. We all have that right to exist. We have a right to drop a bomb in a school.

29:35That is our right, enshrined in a constitution. Yeah. Are you anti-British? Are you being anti-Britic? Oh, so I don't have a right to exist. Oh, well thank you. I'm sorry that me taking up space offends you. Yeah, fattest.

29:52Yeah. Israel's essentially a really, really touchy fat woman. Saying, why should I pay for two? Oh, I'm sorry. Two airplane seats. Really? Oh, so I have to pay for two seats, do I? You're sitting on a five foot two man. He can't breathe. Yeah, yeah. Well, why aren't the seats bigger? Why isn't my plane bigger? For me. Anyway. Yeah, look. The Brits turn up the heat in India. after World War I because we've been busy actually. It's less of a laugh this bit I think. Yeah, no, it's not as funny. The Empire is getting less of a laugh. The golden days are over. After World War I it starts getting a bit...

30:27Raj Khor has ended. Yeah. Raj Khor you'd say is 1857 until... Maybe World War I? 1907, 1910. Yeah. The Indians are no longer listening to the men in big shorts telling them off. It's all falling apart. It's gone to shit. Okay. So the non-cooperation movement now begins we get into gandhi in the 20s he blames himself for the violence always going to make it about him um uh he says a bit pious it is a bit pious oh it was my fault yeah all right then send you to jail then let's let's let's yeah oh dad died because i wasn't there i was fucking i was fucking getting what were you doing during the amritsa massacre oh fucking railing a 15 year old gandhi a 40 at this point that's not cool that's not cool i'm just pregnant yeah you know what gandhi was like um so he blames himself for the violence because he had called for protests and he goes i have made a himalayan blunder it's like the himalayans off yeah leave them out of it i've also had several himalayan blunders actually um your piles no no it's me ordering a file when i'm i think i'll handle it it's a it's that's when i'm my most toxic masculine is me in a curry house going fuck it watch me and then i just it's just no collapse collapse the next morning i'm just on the toilet hugging it not worth it someone going through internet search history wife going through internet search history sweat just yeah it's uh it's that photo of the guy from Chernobyl.

32:01My wife goes to my internet search history. No.

32:08Because I haven't got a skin, you know. If you're going through my search history, I've not got a skin. So he says, I've made a Himalayan blunder in calling upon the people to embark upon civil disobedience before they had qualified themselves for it. So he's being quite patronizing to his own people there, I suppose. but the Punjab atrocities become the primary justification for Gandhi's first massive movement non-cooperation he says cooperation with the government is a sin terrorist he's a terrorist Mahatma bin Laden so he by the way having joined the Indian National Congress is full of like educated Oxbridge British people right and he is the one that sort of turns it into a mass movement he's sort of Corbyn okay yeah So he convinces the Congress that swaraj or self-rule is the only path forward.

33:01So he then organizes a mass movement that boycotts British goods. This is one of the big parts of his holy rules, right? His nine rules for life. Be good, don't steal, love your mother, boycott imported goods from Britain. Don't cum. When your dad's dying, don't fucking rail a 15-year-old. By the way, do you remember I did that? But I did do that though. I did that. I was sick. um don't eat only each only eat cheese uh whatever else is anyway uh mass non-violent strikes only purchase indian goods see look he's a national socialist in a way i'm listening i'm listening there's a level of they've got the same symbol do they not yes so the practice of self-reliance through production uh this starts to get quite costly for the british english businesses would buy raw cotton cheaply from india then process it in the uk and sell it back to india at an inflated price lovely stuff terrific business smart brilliant but this stops entirely it's a shame

34:03textile boycott really is this where we are it's all pretty grim this stuff yeah this stuff is very but this is all this is the problem with gandhi is that what he's known for is very very very very dull he's just fucking walking and yeah he's indian lenin oh now as you said the current indian government friend of the pod nyan dr modi is a hindu nationalist yep uh and it's the this we're in the age of the strong man yes yes so especially if you're leading a country as big as india you can't be it is i guess the 2010s it was like we should all be like jacinda arden yes and it's all about like the real leader is being oh no you actually can't have a baby and be a prime minister oh no I can't yeah of a country that small yeah but did she quit yeah couldn't even do that try being a fucking prime minister of an actual country and having a baby there's that great Carl Donnelly bit about like you know everyone says how great a job she's doing compared to Boris Johnson but to be fair they're very different jobs 4 million are the loveliest people in the world compared to 70 million cunts they're different jobs yeah of course you can be nice in new zealand yeah it's like it's the same people with people who have like kids but they have like three paid nannies like god yeah i don't know what everyone complains about yes you've got three paid nannies we've got some of the worst people on earth yeah we're a nation of cunts she just seen she had very much the substitute teacher you can make cry energy yes i think that's a peacetime uh luxury i mean i made a lot of substitute teachers cry or teaching assistants teaching assistants french teaching assistants yeah they have one day and it's like 20 minutes french teaching assistant who had who had cartoon cross eyes and i just could not resist what were you doing whenever she turned her back i'd be like like that and it was killing yeah and then she'd look at me and i go we all used to look over our heads when she was looking at us like and there's just a window behind oh you're talking to the window and um yeah she she hated it yeah sounds quite tough for her yeah well if i can get out the kitchen you can't stand that hate you're teaching it a fucking boys school teaching snotty little 15 year olds french call her out down the barrel i can't remember your name i can remember your eyes though and they were clapped and i'd do it again if i saw you i'd look at i go oh where If you win a BAFTA, I think you should use your speech to slag off the subject.

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