History’s Biggest Blabbermouths (with Bebe Cave) | Medieval Women

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1:28Hey guys, very exciting episode of Finn vs. History. We have our first ever female guest. Which must be very scary for a lot of our listeners at home. A lot of our viewers, listeners, this will be very intimidating. They won't know how to talk to women. But we've obviously been around women a lot. Very much, very experienced. We know how to do it. And so we hope that, before we start the episode, we just wanted to say we hope you can get something more from this. Learn how to have a conversation with a woman. How to talk to women. So we are joined by the fabulous, brilliant BBK. BB, what are we here to talk to us today about?

1:56Hi guys. thank you so much for having me on Historic Day for you and for me and I'm going to be talking to you today about medieval women oh wow the lives of some really visionary women who rebelled these women really decided to take a non-traditional part sorry it's hot in history it would have been about you know marriage that's such an interesting story a patriarchal society really enforces on them these women only had very few options I think that they probably would have This is what a feminist looks like. This is what a feminist looks like, Ellie. Some kind of a spiced ale. This feels like I'm married.

2:31I'm married. Religious leaders, spiritual leaders. I've always said that. I've always said that. I think you should be the Pope. Yeah. I'd vote for you. I'd vote for you. I'd vote for you. So, are you guys okay? Yeah, we're fine. It's just a bit hot in here. It's hot. Are you guys okay? It's fucking hot. It's fucking hot. It's fucking hot. This is fucking hot. It's fucking hot. It's fucking hot. Anyway, she's got a book. She's got a book out, isn't it? She's got a book up of fanny.

3:04Welcome back to Finn vs. History. I'm joined by Horatio Gould. And for the first time, the Sittledale has fallen. They've gone inside. They've gone inside. They're breeding. Retreat to the creek. Run. Run away. I hope you're sitting down. we have a we have a woman guest a live one the brilliant bb cave exactly thank you so much for coming my pleasure what a treat what a treat uh bb i saw your i saw your last show i guess you you're like you're doing one woman historical sort of stand-up comedy almost but good but i mean it sounds it sounds bad but i have to say i admit every word in that doesn't sound good no together it sounds like one super woman historical i mean i was gonna say i'm a polymath like um like you're in a polycule like hildegard bingen or something like a what hildegard bingen was a medieval you're just throwing that out like i give a fucking hildegard bing that's what you asked me to come on we'll be talking about more medieval women but i wanted to say i saw your last show not so you're doing a medieval woman i'm doing a medieval women show this year but i saw your last show golden age of hollywood stuff and i have to say and this is the biggest compliment i can ever pay your accent work really really puts me because you're an amateur linguist i'm an amateur linguist i'm a culture analyst ethnographer phrenologist etc but your racist accent your racist accents are are top top notch and he's giving that compliment to a woman he hates to do that no listen it's very off-brand for me to say this.

4:41I really appreciate it. My wife and I, my wife said racist actions are even worse than mine. We were blown away by your racist actions. Yeah, women could do it too. It's the Jamaican bobsay team. Women can do it better, it turns out. You can get away with it more. I think that my, I think the reason why I set it during the 1930s was because any kind of, you know. Morally, it's my favourite decade, I must say. I know that. I know that for sure. But I feel like you can get away with a lot of stuff if you put it in a very jaunty sort of a time frame and context. They got away with a lot of stuff and um yeah i think i played with a lot of sort of um ideas about sort of you know sexist and you know i don't know strange bigoted views but you know in the context of the time making you're making a sort of a cultural statement about you know what what that era would have been like you don't have to justify it to this extent this is a hoof pod this is the accents on their own were entirely we weren't enjoying it on that level yeah we were just going that's a very funny yeah yeah okay fine I really appreciate it it's a very simple theatre go with Finn I really appreciate it did you actually like the show I loved it I absolutely loved it and I'm excited for this one because you're now you're now doing a medieval woman show and this is medieval ladies night on the pod yeah this is ladies night isn't it it's bottlers brunch get that woman who fell down the back of the sofa do you think that your listeners all enjoy this topic I think some will be very angry that you're on the show some will be cancelling their patrons there will be a lot of sexist comments get the bird off what's that Harry and Paul sketch when's the bird where's the bloke there'll be a lot of this sorry look this is us three this is us three hold up this is us three 70s Man City hero Rodney Bowles hello guys where's the bloke where's the bloke darling where's the bloke honestly it's only me don't be silly darling where's the bloke where's the bloke darling where's the bloke yeah so that's that's what this is the energy of this episode where's the bloke love where's the bloke darling I mean, I think that's actually very timely, you know, for what we're going to talk about.

6:37Yeah. Well, where's the bloke? Yeah, where's the bloke? Because it's a history. That's what they'll be saying. Yeah, where's the bloke? Because we're talking about history and it's not about bloke. Yeah. And everyone's going to be like, where's the bloke next? Well, it is his story. Which is a, yes, it is. And we did Herstory in the last episode. We did Herstory. We've done that now. It was very quick. It was five minutes. We did a line. Who's your favourite female historical figure then? Oh, fucking hell, tallest dwarf. Ava Brown. Probably. Probably have to say Ava Brown. Who's your favourite female historical figure?

7:06It's funny actually. Somebody was telling me about Ava Brown yesterday. There's something about Hitler was really romantically, sexually attracted to women who wanted to kill themselves. Apparently all of his lovers, he was drawn to women that would threaten to kill themselves. Every time Ava Brown would threaten to kill herself because he wasn't paying her enough attention, that's when he would be most into her. He had a lot of things going on. I mean, he did have a lot of things going on. Has anyone ever had more going on? No, no. No, no, no. Yeah. Right. Anyway, we're on to talk about medieval women.

7:36Medieval women. And firstly... In the way of your new show called Christ Bride. Which is called Christ Bride. Christ Bride. Which is about an uppity woman who makes up, she can see visions. Well, no, she's doing a show at the end of the festival. It's an uppity woman who's doing a show at the end of the festival. To be honest, so after I worked on my last show, The Screen Test, which is all about Golden Age Hollywood, and it was basically just about actresses. I'm an actress, you know, at some points failed actress, at some points working actress, but always mental actress. and then after I worked on that show and I loved it so much and I thought I wanted to do another sort of historical piece I tried to think about let's expect like taking a step back I would like to do something that's even more historical what's an old world version of an actress and you know basically more than 500 years ago women really didn't have many options when it came to professions and if you wanted to have any kind of like independence as a woman like turning to a religious life and being really fucking mental and annoying but having these huge visions but your only route in history was being annoying yeah you had to be really annoying but also very very performative interrupting the grand national yeah exactly if you want to if you want to make it into the history roots you just got to be fucking you've got to be fucking annoying you've got to be fucking loud but you've also got to say yeah i'm literally talking to god and to me that's like the most actually saying that yeah i guess it is i just thought i would love to write something that's sort of like about a medieval equivalent of an actress and i realized that that was about a woman who's sort of not faking religious visions because they didn't necessarily have that sorry sorry i'm so sorry to cut you off No, no, no.

9:00Do you know what? It's good for me to prepare myself for how much I'm going to be interrupted right now. And I hope this doesn't dent your self-confidence, but Charlie has just googled the fastest woman ever. Charlie. Why are you looking at fastest woman ever? I said it. Charlie, Charlie. Charlie. Bibi started talking and you typed in fastest woman ever. Do you know how fucking rude that is? That is, you know, you know. There's a possibility of exacerbating live body issues. Okay, Charlie. Bibi starts talking, you go, you go, fastest woman ever. Well, yeah. Bibi didn't come up. He's got another tap saying, I didn't come up, which is great.

9:31I've seen what my fucking top Google image search is and it's not that different from that, to be fair. Charlie's listening to me, we're going, most boring woman ever, most fast woman ever. Why are women so fast? This is actually Bebe's Wikipedia. This is Eamon Ahmed from Egypt. Egypt takes the crown. Good for you guys. The Mohammed Salah of fat women. I would have thought it'd be Pacific Islander or something. No more salad. What? Mohammed Salah. Right. It's in there somewhere. I went for a swing you know this is a comedy podcast you don't always hit before we before we go into medieval women I guess what we find interesting because we do such male history history history you know about stuff that happens you know things that change the world important things what is I know a lot of women who are into history what are the big what's like World War II for women is it the Tudors like what are the big kind of which is what do you think that women are most interested in what is the if dads are in the shed painting spitfires okay women are learning about Henry VIII strumbling themselves silly well obviously women are sort of doing the housework and picking up the kitchen filling all the holes in their lives that the dad has vacated yeah but as in if roles the Titanic yes that's actually for men and women because you get Titanic's one of the most gender neutral topics there is War of the Roses because engineering and it's romance yeah War of the Roses courtly love I suppose you know maybe anything that's like courtly love no not courtly love oh for fuck's sake I heard courtly love to be fair I did hear courtly love courtly love right like the concept of you know like romantic affairs happening you know walking around the garden to propose to someone absolutely maybe regency that's women's history of course the regency Jane Austen Jane Austen right I wouldn't say that at least from my perspective I don't think that women are that interested in like warfare in like I never to be honest I'm going to be really honest every time that we've me and her show um have ever watched a war thing together and they have that big scene where it's the two sides of the

11:35army and then and then they start running towards each other in the middle of the field and i i truly cannot wrap my head around that that's just how like wars happen where you just run again well that is very funny because you think wars would be you'd start spreading shit about the other people well yeah i guess so that's what my tactics would be but the idea i can't even it makes my brain like short circuit when i think about like just two sides of people running it up against each other in a field and whacking each other with stuff i lose it's crazy i lose all interest because it so doesn't make any sense to me that that's what people have to do that that's what men have to do so i think from my perspective girls like me i just don't think that we're drawn to that element of history we're drawn to i don't know i think like things that about like power and affairs and you know how secretive.

12:26Yeah, so popular stuff. Trashy stuff maybe is how you guys would view it. But I'm just not interested in the violent parts of it, really. I've had a Titanic phase and Henry VIII phase, maybe Robin Hood I was vaguely interested in at one point. Not like any of the money stuff or like, you know, taxes and stuff that goes over my head. But like, you know, the idea of bandits in the forest, that's quite fun. The sexy fox who played Robin Hood. Yeah, it's mostly just about the sexy fox that plays. so maybe women are attracted to more of the medieval period i think so what's the attraction to the middle ages i have a very romanticized view of of of the medieval period um it's not an accurate one i think it's weird because in school we're very much it's like it's like this it's like this diametrically opposite thing where we know that it would have been the worst time to be alive but at the same time we also view it as like this very romantic idealistic like um sort of creatively fertile time like you know a maiden sort of sitting in a stone turreted window with like long hair maybe i'm just thinking maybe i'm just thinking the mid-lages has two things it's either kind of uh princess in a tower george the dragon or it's i'm wearing a potato sack covered in shit i think it's also i mean it's like those are the two things i think that it's also very influenced my perception of the middle ages anyway very influenced by the mid-century medieval revival movement that was very much popular in the 1960s so sort of prog rock music yeah there was like a stonehenge stonehenge yeah which is actually kind of just like hippie whimsical yeah i think that that's folk very folk which i love right right i detest paisley velvet you know embroidered embroidered clothes long flowing hair musical instruments and made out bang them up they're a dangerous society yeah you're not into that you're really not into that her issue's a bit hippie i know i know i know i know i'm on the gayest one on this podcast and yeah that aspect and charlie's actually a bit gay i think that aspect of it and also the fact is a lot of the childhood um uh illustrations in like fairy tales that we we all grew up with yeah are very much um influenced by like the sort of 1960s reinteresting like sort of um you know fairy tales and things like that i think that they're so sanitized i mean like what does a woman do for a period she just wipe it on a rock the medieval period let's talk about let's talk about if we're going to talk about it yeah let's dig in let's talk about what what you know what the difference is between um how they view men and women so this is the old lbc gotcha question right what is a woman so you're nick ferrari i'm nick ferrari i don't tempt i'd love to be nick ferrari but do you know what they thought was the difference now anatomically between men in the Medieval period, which let's just say, what kind of era is this?

15:13Is this 14th century, is it? Let's go say from like the 1300s to, I don't know, the big 1600s. Okay, so we're talking about 1300s. Place this for us to start. All right, so this is after Cleopatra. Yeah, big birth. Yeah, after Cleopatra and before the woman threw a cat in the bin. Lovely. That's exactly what we're talking about. Cleopatra's been and gone. From one woman to another. girl on girl a woman who threw a cat in the bin I'm so sorry can we get woman who threw a cat in the bin video up again one of the best it is it's an all-timer for me I think it's a hall of fame sorry we were trying to name all the historical women in the last episode Joan of Arc Florence Nightingale Pankhurst Cleopatra Cleopatra Thatcher Truss women who put the cat in the bin that's it that's the lot let's have a look at this I mean it really oh no this is not the trial Charlie the fucking violence And she only gets fined 250 quid.

16:09But it's not about the fine. It's about, she symbolises something. Broken Britain, right? Here we go. This is brilliant. I love this. It's so, it's unprovoked. It's like the second war gap-filling. There we go. And bang. It's in the bin. Look at that. Fuck off. Fuck off. I mean that. It's the coldness and the slowness. So calculating. Cat's in the bin. Do you think it's cat-cling? Very witchy. Very witchy behaviour, actually. I mean is it unwanted thought syndrome because we all have thoughts imagine if I just kicked that man yeah yeah yeah I think it was that in front of a train yeah I think it was that which is her reclaiming a little bit of power you never know maybe she's like had a really rough night with her husband you could have dressed up like that it's like a powerful slay queen right well-behaved women don't make history put a cat in the bin yeah they fucking don't she's actually a feminist icon yeah otherwise she wouldn't be on the fucking news would she so she's like Frida Kahlo well-behaved women don't make history that does work here because people will still we'll be talking about the woman who threw a cat in the bin in 25 years time yeah you're right because she was very naughty so what is the medieval understanding of a woman yeah okay so basically the idea was that um in gestation you're trying to create the perfect organism and that men were that sort of perfect creation and women were sort of half formed men ahead of time yeah um in aristotle's model when babies are born female it's because they haven't received enough heat during gestation so men were viewed to be hot dry and strong and women were viewed to be overly wet soggy um yeah genuinely genuinely it's a very strange as well this like equation of women being because they they were seen they um were thought to have so much excess fluid they cried too much they really that is interesting and that's what made their brains damper and not as able to contain you know thoughts and because they're soggy because they're soggy and men were viewed to be men were viewed to be dry so men are like crackers and women are like baked beans oh that's just fucking horrible so no no well no because it's all about balance isn't it you know if you're just eating beans that's a bit much yeah if you're just eating crackers you can only eat that crackers and beans beans on a cracker it's lovely there's anything better than a beans on a cracker name me something that's better than baked beans on a cracker jacob screen cracker there's a tin of beans on it and i think it's that's that's women and men harmony when to become one i mean obviously like even now i would say that you know um like the the study of women's bodies and women's medicine is is still you know much below sorry she's sorry she's an extreme but especially back then there's there was this amazing medieval women exhibition that was on at the British Library that we went to.

18:58Yeah, yeah, it was really good. And this medieval anatomy book had insane drawings of the inside of a woman's body. And even though she's - Well, they're just guessing, right? Well, they're just kind of guessing, but even though she's fully naked and it's illustrated with all of the organs on the outside, she still has to have her head covering, which I found really funny. Even in a medical drawing of a woman. In a medical drawing, she's still got her head. Like, don't just fucking hide her head, please. Still put her burqa on her. Kidney, intestines, cover her hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm too horny come on but they also they drew the pregnancy it was like a fully grown man standing inside of a woman's stomach his head reached like the sort of top of her chin and her feet and his feet were like they didn't really have a conception of like you know the baby in the womb really they must have because babies came out as babies they did come out as babies but they didn't understand what was going on inside of there they were like oh witch magic witch magic right there's also if women looked in the mirror too long vanity then the devil will appear and show his arsehole i think i talked about this before remember this in the exhibition so there's this great like wood carving which is from the 40 hundreds there's a drawing in a book a really quite good little animation of this woman i think she's doing her hair and then in the mirror the devil with this nasty face like horns is there and he's stretching his arse and like he's just revealing his entire hole and it's being reflected in the mirror.

20:22But weirdly, women were also viewed as the ones that were overly lustful. Women had like, they had no control over their desires and it's like actually that women would be the ones that would sort of lure men into having affairs and things like that. Well, yeah, this is the whole witch burning craze, isn't it? We talked about this on our witch episode about the German witch construct. What's this? This is like a sort of adjacent toy. It's not adjacent. It's not adjacent. We're on to something interesting for the first time. We've just gone on eBay and you're finding lewd trinkets anyway so uh women were lustful women were just viewed as overly lustful um but um i just find it yeah i mean obviously it's just like these insane um double standards that you can't uh live up to um leave your radical politics at the door also kind of interesting i didn't really realize like the marriage contract in um you know medieval society was a lot more casual um it just had to be a verbal contract it could happen anywhere but then you needed some sheep and some goods had to exchange hands.

21:18I mean, yeah, so some kind of a dowry to be exchanged, but ultimately it was just a verbal contract, which made it very confusing sometimes in medieval society, say if there has been a verbal contract agreed and therefore you are actually viewed legally as married. But then if the man says, well, no, nobody saw us having that conversation, that's why I had sex with all of these other women, etc. But it just had to be a verbal contract. And then, you know, then you would have a big party to celebrate. I find it really interesting. Also to consummate a marriage. So, okay, so it was a verbal contract, but you did need to consummate the marriage for it to be viewed as legally binding.

21:52And say if the bride, she's 12 years old or something like that and she doesn't want to be married to this old stinky man or something like that, but the parents really do want her to. I was just reading about a story of this girl who wanted to commit herself to a life of religious chastity, which we'll get on to. And the parents were so upset about this that they kept on trying to sneak men into her bedchambers at night. This man that they really wanted to marry her because if he could sort of successfully rape her, then it means that, you know, sort of her commitment to a life of religious chastity would be none and void.

22:24So the parents - Different men. No, so there was one man who was a bishop initially that was trying to bed her and the parents were totally fine with that. He was like, yeah, send her into my bedroom later. And they sort of tried to trick her around that. She luckily escaped. But then a different man, they wanted to bed her and they kept on trying to sneak him into her bedchambers. Imagine your parents trying to sneak a guy into a bedchamber so that he can rape you. It's a pretty brutal time, I think, to be a woman. I guess so. Yeah, I guess it's conservative parents. Yeah, yeah. This episode is brought to you by PayPal.

22:55You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen? Snacks? A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms. Low energy, unfocused, foggy. You might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body with a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors.

23:37Great tasting hydration no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist. Push your limits. Train with precision. See the results. At Equinox, that's high performance loving. Everything you need to lock in and unlock your potential at Equinox. Start today at equinox.com. so anyway so um one of the women that i wanted to talk to you guys about was um a girl called katherine of siena she um was living in the 14th century this is our first broad and um i she's a big inspiration for the the character that i've written about in my show because she is similar to that girl she um didn't want to want to pursue um the normal path that women would expect what are your options well ultimately to be a wife and a mother was essentially the path that you could be women weren't given the access to education unless you were a noble woman and to be honest actually the highest hell is that her that's bloody hell yeah bloody hell um so she really took it seriously the whole jesus thing she was one of 25 siblings how many of them are living beyond the age of i would say probably loads of them died like literally loads of them died.

24:57Her twin sister also died. Her twin sister, she... Did she eat her in the womb? No, she didn't eat her in the womb, but Catherine's mother breastfed Catherine because she was sort of the favourite child, but she didn't breastfeed her sister and then her sister died. Well, yeah, because there's no formula at this point. Yeah, there's no formula. So that was, she killed her child. Yeah, so she killed her child and I think Catherine always carried around a lot of guilt about the fact that her sister, she got breastfed and her sister didn't. How would she know? Because you stopped breastfeeding about 18 months.

25:23Yeah, it's true, but I think it's maybe... the mother then had another baby after the twin sister died and gave her the same name as the sister. But it's a mum like teaser. It's a mum being like mum, mum, mum, mum. Yeah. So, Catherine had a younger sister. What is it, Charlie? What is the max that you can breastfeed? I think it's maybe 10. Yeah. Charlie. That's so late. Yeah, it is, but I think you can get away with it. But there's also, there's something I think you can. Three. I'd still hang out with you. Why do you think you can? Because you can. You can't breastfeed up until 10, Charlie. That's insane.

25:51You can't. You could. If I found out my mate, if he would just open up and he was like, look, it was a weird time. I didn't really decide it. I just kept doing it. I guess he doesn't have much consent in it. I'd be like, Charlie, your mates live on barges and bins and gypsies. These aren't people who follow society's codes. The latest you can get away with breastfeeding a child, in my opinion, is three. In terms of, as people... At least four. Yeah, but I guess the full-grown man sucking on the mother's teat, there is a religious imagery there. I think... That's the Madonna. Yeah, absolutely. That's the amount of paintings of the young sucking on the teeth.

26:25That's a holy image. But this is something I wanted to talk about really. I feel like Jesus Christ himself actually has a very sort of breastfeeding kind of an energy. There's a reason why so many of these female mystics sort of gravitate towards the idea of being married to Jesus and sort of sucking on his festering sores, you know, drinking the blood from his wounds. It's actually a very maternal image. He's kind of like a mother. And he's also kind of like a bleeding woman in a way. Well, Jesus is like a mom. Women, female mystics, you know, they relate to Jesus because of the suffering, because of the moisture.

26:56We need to wind back a bit. Yeah, we do. Sorry, I'm getting hurt myself. It's fine. It's fine. It's classic blabbermouth syndrome. We need to, we need to, we must remember, Bibi, that our listeners, our viewers are incredibly thick. Yeah, so Bibi. We don't, the actual history, they're not that interested in. Bibi, they're thick, they're smelly, and they're lonely, and they will be. Breastfeeding. They will be breastfeeding up until the age of maybe 30. So really simple stuff. Really simple stuff. Okay, I'll keep it really, really simple. So Catherine of Siena. They are allowed rail cards way beyond the normal time.

27:30Okay, so Catherine of Siena, 14th century Italy, right? Both the Renaissance actually. Siena, all the proto-Renaissance stuff was all in Siena at this time. Absolutely. But there's huge famine going on. The Black Death. Death of colour. Yeah, exactly. Thank you very much. D.O.C. And it's essentially, I feel like it was very much a time where people felt like God had gone. Like God was angry. That's why they were saying that was why harvest was terrible. Gone and gone out to get cigarettes didn't come back. So in a way, it's like, not only is this girl going to be rebellious in lots of other ways, it's kind of very rebellious, I think, to like lead this life of like, you know, when other people are sort of trying to repopulate the earth and get married and have lots of babies.

28:08The idea of you saying... I guess there's a Black Death, wasn't it? There's a Black Death. Yes, exactly. I just said that. Yeah. So everyone's dying. Everyone's dying. The idea that you would say, no, I'm not going to fucking do that. I'm not repopulating. So sorry, sorry. But what is she refuting? The idea that she's going to be a mother? She doesn't want to be a mother. I don't want that. Okay, but the reason why I think she doesn't want to be a mother, so not only does her twin sister die, her twin sister Giovanna, her mum then has another baby, calls her Giovanna, which is kind of weird as well, isn't it?

28:34To think that in... She's a different name, I reckon. Yeah, use a different name, but I feel like that's something that happened quite a lot in medieval societies when you had so many siblings dying that you would sort of reuse names. You wouldn't remember who's alive and who's not. I mean, it's like a chicken. You can't remember that many siblings, to be fair. It's like a pig with eight things. If you have eight kids a year... Reuse the names. Yeah. Well, it's like, I don't fucking know. But it's like, when you have loads of kids in a family, you have lots of hand-me-downs. Just hand the name down.

29:00Sorry, Charlie's Googled one of the all-time... How is us talking? Oh my God, Charlie. Charlie, how is us talking? Is that going to show up on the screen? How is us talking about medieval Italy? And you've just Googled is pineapple up the penis actually as bad as birth? Well, that's what I've been told. By who? By one of your bin friends? I just think I learned it maybe at school. No, you didn't. What school? Were you home school? No, I went to Montessori. I went to a proper school. But apparently, and it's a way of empathising with women actually. Shoving a pineapple up your cock. I feel very empathised with.

29:31As in if you, apparently it's as painful as putting, giving birth is like putting a pineapple up your penis. Why would anyone ever put a pineapple up their penis? You couldn't put a pineapple up your penis. But you can give birth and you can't put a pineapple Imagine kind of the feminist allies in the Women's March. Some of those blokes would do it. This is what a feminist looks like. Yeah, yeah. We're in this is what a feminist looks like. Why are your wives from birth? Just at the same time. And she's like, help. I'm like, no, I'm actually going to go through it with you because we're pregnant.

29:59What a fucking tosspot nonce. I was having lunch at school and a year above, lent over and said we were talking about whether pineapple changes the taste of cum and then lent over and said trust me it doesn't right and he's trying he thinks it's implying that you know he's getting blowjob but it seemed like he's just been drinking his own cum trust me it doesn't big spark and I think he thought we'd be like oh fuck he's getting no he's gobbling his own cum sorry Catherine Sienna enough about Speaking of goblin cum, Catherine of Siena is a medieval woman who is refusing to gobble cum. Well, she started having intense religious visions of Jesus appearing to her.

30:48Which is a common thing throughout medieval women is the vision thing. Well, I think partly because when women have reading and writing restricted from them, but religion is such a sort of... They can't read or write. Well, they're not taught to, right? I mean, they can use their initiative. They can use their initiative. you know you can pull yourself up by the bootstraps but religion is such a sort of permeating part of culture isn't it but it's like really inaccessible if you think about the fact that you know you gotta open a book you gotta stop talking for one second church would be essentially about your fucking dreams for one second and open a book you have to go to church you have to go to church you're told that if you um stray from religious teachings that you're going to go to hell but all your access to religion really is like some priest with his back turned to you speaking in latin you don't have any fucking idea what he's talking about um women that did feel a sense of like religiousness it was very sensual like female mysticism is all about the senses not necessarily always horniness although we will get to that when it comes to like junior norwich she was terrifying very for it but i suppose the the god god is reliant on faith in the way same way the female orgasm is absolutely well did mary come who knows god exist no but did mary come do women come we don't know we can't know medieval medieval scientists for a long time thought that the way for a woman to get pregnant that she had to orgasm that's how women got pregnant they thought that's how conception happened which is amazing because i can't imagine that medieval men were making women come when do you reckon the first female orgasm was probably uh 1971 1971 i remember marvin gaze around well that's to be discovered it was you know but it's a bit it's an interesting theological discussion it was by accident yeah it was religious visions and like these um ecstatic visions that are in this very common thread between a lot of these um uh female mystics what do they what do they look like just visualize it are they uh well it was like a lot of um public um outpourings of heavenly feelings Mary's described when she I think Charlie's Sorry Charlie found a video This is a lady who had 180 orgasms in two hours In two hours So is this Catherine of Siena?

33:06This is Catherine of Siena I think Right So because they couldn't read or write Yeah They're much more Kind of sensual Her legs buckled And she fell Experiencing a series of crippling Unstimulated orgasms Imagine having orgasms Being crippling Crippling orgasm Persistent genital arousal disorder. Stop it, Charlie. I mean, I'm just, I mean, it's one of those diseases, a bit like alcoholism where you're like, it looks quite fun. Yeah. It ruins, it's bad for other people around you. No, no, he's shaking his head. No, because there was the case of that man who had this but he busted his dad's funeral Yeah, he busted his dad's funeral, yeah.

33:45I hate to do that. He's going up to the open casket going, I love you, I mean, that is bad. That is bad. But then, do you know what? Can you just not come for three seconds? Do you know what I mean? Can you take a day off? Keep it in your pants Nigel take a day off for a minute just say goodbye to your dad come on I think it is an interesting question to raise in a very like puritanical society this idea that the immaculate conception I mean Mary was the woman that you know didn't have to suffer from childbirth because obviously because of Eve that's like women's sin is that they have to have this really painful childbirth but Mary doesn't have to experience that and this idea that God like makes Mary come so hard that she literally conceives Christ himself I think I think that is quite funny the idea that like you weren't allowed to talk about sex and yet like religion was so inherently sexual i think also like in the way that like you you had lots of one d direction posters when you're growing up and like the boy band theory you know when there's five of them all together jesus is like you know the ultimate they don't have any they don't have anybody to look look up apart from loads of images of jesus of course and he looks fucking great can you get rid of the coming woman from the but it's such a horny relationship between these women and jesus because they're trying to discover the sexuality and the only place they can really put it is into faith maybe because it was also a bit of independence you know you didn't have some like you know horrible sweaty man calling all over you at all hours of the night you know whereas at least if you're you know you're married to god you're married to jesus you know that sounds like probably a bit more of a pleasure but also like fantasy erotica right that women are really into it's like for them the ultimate sexual fantasy is not a horrible man in reality it's a wizard lord listening to your feelings exactly i mean that's like what turns the elf king you know uh men sexual fantasies is your step sister gets stuck in a washing machine and the only way to get her out is by fucking her out of it right that's you know and then the female engineering family that's it and then the female sexuality is yeah you get captured by an elf lord uh but he listens to your feelings and he validates you and he doesn't have like a real body and he just like floats in the air he just listens he's a therapist yeah exactly jesus doesn't exist so he's like but yeah i don't know if i already said this about this idea of the virgin being like a sort of separate gender almost three genders um again this is most of our audience of versions so there you go you would have been highly ranked and ready with society but it's like yeah it's almost like it just is different well i mean we'll get to anchorites being um literal women who were walled up in these cells connected to um well i don't really have any more to say about it rather than like you know women your role was to become like a mother and a wife and to bear children and a man was to provide a home and to work and whatever.

36:19And to be a virgin was like this kind of religious consecrated role that wasn't even seen as a woman anymore, wasn't seen as a sexual object, they were seen as something godly. It was like a way to elevate yourself above the rank of other women in a way. Which is why you think that some of these women probably in a modern society would have been like CEOs or something like that. They had business minds. So are virgins looking at other women as sluts? Yes. right no I don't think they're looking at other women as sluts they revered motherhood but they also were like yeah I'm not gonna do that you know right so Catherine of Siena she don't want no so she starts having religious visions at six years old six years old six years old sorry six years old I didn't realise Catherine of Siena medieval six is current day 18 yeah it's true that's fine and she has her twin sister's dead regretted that she already feels bad because she got to breastfeed twin sister didn't she has a beloved older sister Bonaventura who's married and who's really into fashion and stuff and is trying to get Catherine into fashion.

37:17Yeah, so it's like clueless. And it's like clueless, did you say? But Bonaventura has a husband. Great, great, great, right back. Sorry. Bonaventura has a husband who's a little bit lecherous and Bonaventura, to try and punish him back in line, she decides to go on a hunger strike which influences the young Catherine at that age that a way to kind of get your power and to sort of manipulate people is to starve yourself. Fasting is going to become a big theme with all of these women. Fasting. Fasting. So like anorexia, bulimia. Oh, it's right. It's Thai culture starts here. Diet culture starts fucking here.