I Don’t Beef Wellington Someone Unless I Really Love Them | The Napoleonic Wars (Part 8/10)

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1:41welcome back to finn versus history i'm still joined by horatio gould still and we're still here it's napoleon part eight part eight the the school shooter has things are starting to go wrong for him right the police are amassed outside yeah like ozyman dais he has run out of fat kids to massacre he is not doesn't have enough ammo to turn the gunner himself fuck is there anything sad than a school shooter he's run out of bullets to kill himself always leave one in the chamber or is he too cowardly as well because when he thinks he killed himself when it comes to his survival instincts kick in oh no oh no i don't want to die oh fuck um we left off uh napoleon had met his match in Russia, which did what Russia did and just set fire to the place.

2:29Fair play. I mean, you can't really... It's not cricket. I mean, we're not playing that game. We could all just annihilate ourselves, you know. So I guess Russia kind of ruined it. They'd gi-hatted themselves? Yes, white gi-hats. Did they alu-Akbar? As a country, they alu-Akbar'd Moscow. When did they rebuild Moscow, Charlie? I was looking at this. Oh, please, please. Cook. it was a young king remember and he's one that he was he chat gbt ranks him third best russian monarch i've been getting a lot of rankings going you can't understand history unless you rank it you need to rank it i like how you know you try and ask people who know about history and they go well it's a complicated thing you know you watch chat gbt here's one two just give me a don't none of this bullshit just give me a definitive ranking but he because he was young he had a long reign after this and spent about 20 years rebuilding it most of it was wooden so it was all burnt and he rebuild it similar to like after the great far of london it was like rebuilt it in stone and stuff so uh napoleon has a bit has had to retreat uh now meanwhile on his other front wellington is cooking in the peninsula yes now um the duke of wellington look it's a big it's episode eight you've made a lot of come noises the prostates are imploded at this point right okay they're hanging out the back of themselves they're pink socking it every night i'm hanging out the back of myself every night of the week i'm hanging out the back of myself because we're not i'm not even at the climactic battle yet you know and there's so many battles still to go through now wellington uh he's he had learned how to beat napoleon in spain yeah so napoleon's brother joseph uh he had two brothers i think or he had maybe more he had joseph he had uh jerome yeah hey man yeah um jerome was his adopted brother yeah uh they're like the paula hitlers of this story paula hitler say her name Paula Hitler who was Hitler's sister who worked in HR what happened to Paula can we get Paula's story up why haven't we another patron on Paula Hitler before we get into pause this pause this why have we not dealt with the second most important woman in history after Eva Brown Paula Hitler what happened to Paula Hitler she died of natural causes in 1960 suspicious in Berchtes Garden so she was still at the nest yeah well that's good to know that's good to know that it stayed in the family what was her job she gave a recorded television interview in 1959 She's a broadcaster.

4:49Was she? No. No, she just had one interview because she's Hitler's sister. That doesn't make her Terry Wogan. Paula Hitler worked as a housekeeper, office secretary, and military hospital secretary during her life. She lost her job at a V &E's insurance company in 1930 when her identity was discovered, after which she was financially supported by her brother. Well, that is lovely. Yeah, that's nice. You've got to take care of the people you come up with. But also, how sad is that? Because, you know, her just because of what her family did. It's discrimination. Yeah. It's discrimination. She didn't do any of that stuff.

5:20No. She's the innocent Paul Hitler. She was a secretary. Paul Hitler's views on Jews, please. Sorry, we should use her name that she identified as Paula Wolf. Paula Wolf. She changed the name. What was Paula Wolf's opinion on the Jewish people, please? Because I think it's time we exonerate. Yeah. You know, not all Hitler. Hashtag not all Hitlers. Yeah. She was not politically active. This is the problem with sisters. Brothers, there will be quotes. of sisters do have an ability to keep their mouth shut in a way the brothers don't i've written a book my sister kept her mouth kept her mouth shut you know yeah the other taylor the other taylor when people are looking in history they'll be they'll scour the internet for exonerate her yeah let her live her life paula taylor

6:05um she shared personal observations regarding her brother's adolf's anti-semitism while maintaining a posture of denial regarding the Holocaust. A posture of denial. So she's denying the Holocaust. No, no, no. She's maintaining a posture of denial. I don't want to look at what's going on. I don't want to see it. Whatever's going on over there, I don't want to know. I don't want to know about it. Whatever you do in your own room is your business. You're my brother and I love you. Yeah. But you make it hard sometimes. You know, we'll always be family. have you seen that film we need to talk about kevin or you know the book we need to talk about once again i feel my brother's loose hand across my face recalling her brother as a young boy he remembers her brother as a little boy who led all the others when they played cowboys and indians as children makes sense right anyway paula hitler friend of the pod um sister of the pod um up there in the family tree with erin musk erin musk as the grandfather paula hitler as the pod sister um however we must get back to the poet now uh wellington the cold cautious arch conservative he is brilliant doing more research on him he is exceptional a phenomenal character uh he had he is one of the straightest guys because i also think his defensive style of warfare is inherently straight well there's something he feels like he's defending his ass no one defends his ass more well listen this is why napoleonic wars are the straightest history gets because it's all about defending your rear i don't want to be outflanked you know that's why i'm walking through soho and i'm constantly you know i'm walking in a defensive square we'll get to waterloo but waterloo is the greatest defensive action of your rear card yes it is yes it is it's the greatest it's the straightest thing it's ever been and so that's why when i walk through soho i am in a square formation right because the gay cavalry cavalry is gay right cavalry is gay because horses charging down there yeah they you know they will just run they can't you know they can't they won't impale themselves on the bayonets yeah um yeah wellington starts to uh learn how to beat the french in the peninsula war yeah he's a defensive general although i think that does some discredit but he he prefers uh sapping uh enemy numbers and he only thinks he should attack to basically confirm a victory yeah he thinks victory is won in defense but also the fact that that's relatively similar to Monty.

8:31Do you think it's just more because of playing with British resources, seeing as we're not a land power? Yeah, it's definitely a bit more than that. I was discussing with Gemini, my AI friends, and I wasn't just going, can you rank the generals so I know who's the best? I was having a quite informed conversation about whether, you know, Wellington essentially... Do you like me? Am I a good guy? Am I a good boss? Do you like working for me? I mean I pay for your pro tier but you know what if I didn't? Would you just answer my questions? Is my knob normal size? Is that normal? Is that normal size?

9:08Anyway yeah I was having a conversation because Wellington arguably invents the kinds of tactics that end up as World War I but he invents it a generation like 100 years before because before this it was all about you know I mean we're rushing ahead but you want to get people, you want to intimidate the opponent by showing them all your forces. You're standing, it's kind of, it's theatre. Yeah. Wellington, straight man, hates theatre. Was like, I'm going to hide all my troops. I'm going to trick them. Concealment. Yeah. He invents tactical concealment. Yeah, millionaire wearing billabong shorts.

9:43You know, you don't need to front your cash. Exactly. Let it speak for itself. Let my billabong shorts speak for myself. Are you a millionaire or are you just wearing billabong shorts? so um he also invented the wellington boot um that's about as straight a shoe as you can get really yeah and it becomes all the rage uh after he invents it now uh he had not the arc boot uh thank you charlie he had allied in spain with a 68 year old general called general cuesta uh he observed battles from a carriage drawn by mules and he refused to fight on sundays because uh you know whatever the week needs and he needs a nap in the week yeah and so he had to be hauled out of his coach onto a velvet cushion to watch battles, which only angers Wellington and makes him intrinsically more anti-Spanish.

10:28Right. Okay. So he basically thinks these Spanish allies are fucking stupid. Right. He likes the Portuguese. Yes. Because, you know, these people... Yeah. And he ends up creating these defensive lines, the lines of Torres Vedras, which is a sort of secret 25-mile network of forts, redoubts, tank... I mean, what we would look at as tank traps or pits, which basically, and then he backed out. Basically trenches almost. This is it. He kind of invents trench warfare 100 years before. And then the European powers, they forget what he does. They forget that he beats Wellington, that he beats Napoleon with this.

11:07And then they all kind of default to like, oh, attacking Swagger and Elan, right? Which is why on the first day of the Somme and the start of World War I, the French troops just walk in red trousers towards machine guns. Yeah, get rolled by the Germans. Yeah, it's another Germany-Brazil 7-1. Anyway. Push your limits, train with precision, see the results. At Equinox, that's high-performance loving. Everything you need to lock in and unlock your potential at Equinox. Start today at equinox.com. Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile with your summer price forecast. Now, unfortunately, we're seeing rising costs across the country with possibility that big wireless hates you 100%.

11:53Now, over here at Mint Mobile, we're seeing sunny skies and dropping prices. Every plan to just$15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for three months,$90 for six months, or$180 for 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. New customer offer for initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. See terms. Hey, y 'all. Kelly Clarkson here. with Wayfair. You know my favorite compliment during the holidays? Your house feels so cozy. That's when I know everyone's comfortable enough to kick off their shoes, grab more dessert, and stay a little longer.

12:25Wayfair makes it easy with everything from dining furniture to festive guest room essentials all in one place. So whether you're hosting for an afternoon or all weekend, everyone feels right at home. Get holiday guests ready at wayfair.com or on the Wayfair app today. way fair every style every home uh the battle of vittoria is where wellington smashes king joseph bonaparte's army he ends french rule in spain uh and then he also basically takes all of joseph's looted art and gold uh and rescues it does he put it back one small side thing is that he his big campaigns before this were in india and the and he was actually quite attacking in India because he had far less men.

13:10He'd, he beat an Indian force of 40 ,000 men with 7 ,000 men using quite expansive. So you had that element to his, his game. He kind of thought it was, it was almost cheap or gay to attack. Yes. It was much more manly and straight to lie there. Hold on. Hold on. Um, probably the most Protestant general there is. For sure. So he's been cooking in Spain and Portugal. And, uh, after June, 1813, uh, He starts to incur into southern France. So Napoleon's southern border has been breached. It's his Falklands. Now, meanwhile, in the east, in March 1813, a sixth coalition has risen. Russia, Prussia, Britain, Sweden, Austria, and many of the German states.

13:59And this sixth coalition have decided... Nick Clegg is not in this coalition. That's the seventh coalition. which we're coming to. Nick Clegg is a crucial member of the 7th Coalition. This coalition, they think they've worked out how to beat Napoleon, finally, which is the Trachenberg plan. Sounds like it's going to work. The Trachenberg plan is a plan that means whenever we fight Napoleon, we get smoked. Yeah. So why don't we go after his generals or his marshals and their forces and basically run away from Napoleon? Go after her ugly mates. Thank you. You know, you see the pack of women at the nightclub.

14:43Well, I'm never going to, it's never going to work with her. Don't go for the centre. Neg the ugly one. You know, outflank the uglies on the side. Find the weak one. Tear the weak one away from the pack. The less mobile. The less mobile. You know, the fat one in a wheelchair. You know, I reckon I could call. The cowboy. Yeah. I also form squares to avoid the devastating cavalry attacks, the British cavalry attacks of women in mobility scooters and seaside towns. Ah! Trying to steal my chips. No. Well, the women are trying to steal your chips. Yes, well, that's the modern-day cavalry. Modern-day cavalry is me in a defensive square.

15:27Seagulls and women in mobility scooters. Seagulls and women in mobility scooters with crutches. That's their saber. The modern-day cavalry is the one-armed crutch. Anyway, basically, because Napoleon is so good, and because so much of this is mind games, he's trying to make the Allies do something, and they end up doing it because they're just spooked. Whereas the other Marshals don't have this aura. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. There's a sense of confidence and morale that you're destined to victory if you see Napoleon's leading you. Yeah, totally. So, I mean, bear in mind, he has lost, what, 600 ,000 men in Russia?

16:01Yeah, it's the worst disaster in military history up until this point. The big army. Yeah. He's lost the big army. The small army now. It's now a small army. So he now assembles another one very quickly. Rapid conscription. Medium army. Medium army. L 'armée moyenne. The teenagers that are barely old enough to shave are drafted. I mean, they're French, so they must have significant bum fluff, though. Sure. An old grenadier said they smell more of school books than gunpowder. basically they haven't actually like fired their guns so why is this guy smelling kids why is this guy smelling kids he's an old grenadier that's French slang they basically haven't fired their guns yet and also you know the French are not using rifles the French are only using muskets as we discussed in our sharp deep dive on the Patreon rifles and muskets the French aren't getting into the new technology Why not?

17:01Because they're stuck in their ways. Yes. They're all like... If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Exactly. But it's broken. It is broke. The French economy is in the toilet after 20 years of continuous warfare. They've also got no fucking horses. Nay, their name. Because the horses all died in Russia. Yeah. So in this period, Napoleon is only sleeping three hours a night. And sleep is very important. Well, you never regret sleeping instead of doing anything else. You know? it's never worth trading sleep for that thing that you're going to do yeah it's three the worst number of hours to get explain i think if you as a man who has tried every single type of hours you know what you often see people ranking number of pints do you want to rank hours of you've done i think every hour yeah you have i think seven is the best better than eight yes okay i think 15 minutes is better than three hours interesting wow um and i think anywhere between three and five is basically fucked but then once you hit six six onwards is fine six is good eight is too many 50 minutes is better than three hours i came to work on 15 minutes and we did all right did we what's what when have you been on the worst when you felt the worst working because you did some crazy late nights back in the day when i missed the caveman shoot how many hours was that i think i got like five but it was such a it was such a mess it was genuinely it was like i woke up so you woke up so it was late and started masturbating because it was well i'm sure he did god this is so my last girl this is such a mess i'm gonna lose my job yeah waking up waking up to that was was uh devastating yeah you need to get i think for me seven hours is good well that's the health that's the healthy amount three is fucking horrific well having well when you have uh newborns and stuff i mean you'll just take anything you can get three four hours five hours but you're a father and you do it for them yeah yeah this is the point charlie's making is when you do it it's meaningful it's for someone else there's a purpose to it charlie has none of that you just stayed up two night two like gooning and you're late for work yeah i've been creating my child getting up getting him or her back to sleep and you've just been awake all night you're just cradling your hog just cranking it

19:21you know on seven screen oh fucking hell anyway it's these kind of people you know these teenagers that are gooning all night the napoleon hires in his army you know because all the actual men he's left in russia they're in the bin so uh and also the russian army these are these are such experienced veterans who have been through all of his big battles yeah like all the the creme de la Yeah, it's decreasing the proportion of actual good troops. It's now way, way, way low. What is it, Charlie? Nothing. Right. I was going to say creme de la Kremlin, but it doesn't work at all. Creme de la Kremlin?

19:55It's not far off. It's just, yeah, it's a bit wrong. But he's French, isn't he? Napoleon? Yeah. Part A, that's an absolutely devastating question to ask.

20:07Yes, Napoleon's French. Good. Yeah, sort of. He likes onions. Onions. crucially yeah and part of Wellington's tactics is the scorched earth thing so he's taking all the onions away so that when the French caramelising them he's caramelising them he's not he's eating them like apples he's a straight man but he's taking all the onions away so when the French are foraging they have got no onions they have got no onions yeah exactly you know you take away the onions you kneecap the army so somehow in 1813 even though he's got all these squeaky French He's exchanged tunes with Bunfluff. He still remains terrifyingly effective on the battlefield.

20:48The spring campaign of 1813. Lads, prostate check. Napoleon, he wins victories at Lutzen and Bautzen. And for a minute, it seems possible that he can recover from Russia. Who are these victories against? Against the coalitions. Again, he's doing what he always does. He's separating them out. He's making sure they don't all coalesce. That's his main thing is that he's so fast because he just is fast that he can knock out allies one by one. So these coalitions, they're not working together quick enough. This is in Saxony. So this is in the remains of the First Reich. Now, there are opportunities for peace in 1813 in the summer.

21:28And they kind of they pause for negotiation in June 1813. now the difficult thing the real moment of hubris is that he is married to a 18 year old who is the daughter of the emperor of Austria Franz Joseph so in June 1813 there is a temporary armistice which gives the allies time to negotiate strategy I was thinking sorry Russia and Prussia should have changed you can't both be called that go on it's too silly what do you mean i'm the russian you're the prussian is there's two you can't just put a p in front of another country's name pingland england and pingland where's pingland where's pingland where we're saying that is island yeah i mean that's quite funny that is quite funny england and pingland england and pingland over there i'm gonna start calling i'm touring pingland uh it's awesome i'm coming to belfast uh cork and dublin still tickets left for the pinguish leg of my uh uk tour um just sounds silly uh austrian emperor francis ii is napoleon's father-in-law an in-law it's not an easy relationship it is not and yes you don't want to um declare war genuine war on your in-laws for sure you know it's a tough one to manage did he ask francis ii's permission or blessing when he proposed to his daughter i'd like to know that what is it Charlie?

22:54Do you in any way feel that Amanda's dad is your dad at all? Is it like Definitely a father figure in my life definitely But would you ever call him dad? Very different very different father figure you know he's not gay That's for one For one You know He's not my dad He's not my dad for two A very practical man an esteemed member of the community Is your dad practical? He can play the trombone I'll let that lie Neither of us have dads who have any DIY skills. No. Yeah. Your dad's quite DIY. I don't know if he is. He likes pots though. Pottery. Pottery. He does pottery in his shed. Right. He likes clay.

23:36Yeah. Did you ask Bibi's father's blessing when you proposed? No, I didn't actually. That's disgraceful. Napoleon did ask for his blessing. Well, that's good. It's classy. That is classy. It's always nice. And it's his blessing, not permission. Yeah. You know, that's the way to do it. I'm doing it anyway. I'm doing it anyway, but, you know, is that all right with you? Well, it's not. Well, fuck you then. Fuck you. Fuck you, mother-in-law. Yeah. Anyway, so probably his greatest strategic failure, actually, is that he allows Austria to join the coalition, which leads to, gentlemen, clasp your pink sock in your hand, the Battle of Leipzig, 1813.

24:17this is the largest battle in europe before the first world war over half a million soldiers participated and it is the bloodiest battle of the napoleonic war you have 200 000 french against 400 000 coalition troops it is a meat grinder uh now that said czar alexander the first and king william the third of i don't know where he's king of uh they just watch uh drinking champagne from the nearby hill. Classy. There's a guy called Joachim Mourin who leads a 10 ,000-man cavalry charge that nearly breaks the Allied lines. He's Napoleon's brother-in-law. He designed his own uniform. Let's have a look at it.

24:57Skin-tight crimson red leather breeches, a tiger skin over the war horse, and a fur-trimmed cloak and a massive bicorn hat with the huge ostrich plumes. Wow. Awesome. A tiger skin over the horse. That's a lovely touch. Are you trying to make them think that you're riding a tiger? Yeah, sort of, I guess. I mean, I think that's actually, I think the tiger skin and the skin-tight red trousers. The skin-tight red trousers, I don't think, have aged well. No. But I do think a tiger skin and a horse, there's something about that. So Napoleon frequently mocked his fits. Devastating. Anyway, so... We don't know much about the battle of Leipzig, I think, in the...

25:37That's not one of the battles that gets talked about, I feel. even though it's such so consequential and arguably more consequential than Waterloo in some ways no, no, no no, no holding my prostate no, absolutely not, explain that, why is it more consequential than Waterloo well it's his first proper military defeat on the battlefield yeah, and it ends up with the kind of beginning of the end properly for him, this is the big turning point, but and it shows that he can be beaten on a battlefield Yeah, but the reason he's beaten is that the Allies just work together and outnumber him. And so he was always going to...

26:17He's defeated by friendship. He was always... Yeah, that's the real lesson of this. But I mentioned Battle of Leipzig in German history. It's talked about a lot because I guess we have a quite Waterloo-centric because it's more British. But we don't know about this because we weren't involved. Do you think? I think we paid for it. It was very consequential. I think we funded it. Yeah. I think we paid for it. Produced it. I think we paid six million pounds. Yeah. Did we? I know, it's such a big number. I don't know. It's a lot, isn't it? But that's not exciting when you're teaching history. No, no.

26:47We bankrolled it. We bravely bankrolled it. We bravely bankrolled. And so what happens is that midway through the battle, Saxon troops start marching towards the Allies. The French think they're launching a charge because the Saxons were fighting as part of Napoleon's German Empire. and then they just turn around and start firing at him. So mid-battle defections, they get trapped in this vice. They have an escape route planned, but then they accidentally blow these bridges while they're still on the wrong side of it. Air two sacks on. Yes, yeah. And then 30 ,000 troops are just stranded and taken prisoner.

27:26And I listened to a quite boring podcast about if Napoleon had won Leipzig and they say no German state, no World War I, no World War II. It's that crucial. Yeah. Because this is where Prussia becomes, like after this, Prussia is now the main power in what is proto-Germany. Yes, it becomes the alpha German state, which basically leads to the German Empire. And with no Prussia, you get no World War I. It gives them the confidence. I mean, so the Prussians lost to Austerlis, right? Yeah, and Russians. this is sort of their revenge revenge and getting their confidence back and the Prussians are becoming more and more dominant in Central Europe now having defeated Napoleon at Leipzig Napoleon licking his wounds he runs back to France and the foreign armies cross into France for the first time since the outbreak of the Revolutionary Wars in 1793 it's amazing that he still managed to get a force together after Russia that's what's crazy is that he's still having people fighting through the big army he lost the big army You can't lose the big army.

28:32You can't lose the big army. In October 1813, Wellington crosses the river from Spain into France. December 1813, Austrian troops march through Switzerland into eastern France. January 1814, Prussia and Russian armies cross the Rhine. We now get into the Six Days campaign. February the 10th to 15th, 1814. Still, this school shooter is firing off. He's still finding teachers to mow down. He's just found the drama department. Oh, my God. Is there ever, you know, a better department for a school shooter to find than the drama department? That's my dad was a drama teacher. And I can tell you now that they would all be dead if a school shooter took them out.

29:20There's no one, you know, like if... I don't know how much of a take that is. I bet drama students they would all be killed if they got shot in the head by a guy no listen I spent my childhood in schools sure okay I lived in schools my parents were no no I'm not saying a hot take listen mate I went to school alright can you let me can you let me cook because I actually went to school unlike some people in this room who were homeschooled right no go on cook cook cook right so my parents were teachers I lived in a girl's boarding house I was a stud pig I was reared as a stud pig as we've discussed this a panty sniffer yeah I was a homebred panty sniffer okay I was rattling around foraging for sniffy pants now my point is is that I'm familiar you know I was rattling around schools on the holidays yeah you know in many ways that was my playground I was bouncing around you know a rattle implies I was bouncing yeah I was bouncing implies that there's hardness I was jolly and I was bouncing around departments, okay?

30:27Looking for something to do. Is that what you'd like to know? I was like a big inflatable pinballing around. You ever raffled once? No, no.

30:38Right? My point is, I was very familiar with the topography of private schools in the Oxfordshire area. You know, if I had wanted to, I would have been a phenomenal school shooter, okay? Because I knew the ground. I'm like Wellington at Waterloo I would have hidden you need to make sure because it's quite a solitary thing by the nature of being a school shooter exactly you don't have a lot of friends you don't have a lot of friends that's the reason you're a school shooter you know so the key thing is making sure your rear guard's defended well obviously my rear guard has to be defended because the only friend you have is geography really when you're a school shooter well the geography department are getting it first because they're the only ones who understand the geography of the school exactly you take them out suddenly you've got free reign okay so you have to take over the geography department now do you think some of the drama students uh a lot i've obviously did drama at gcce and a level so i'm kind of a bit of a scholar

31:33and if i wanted to get my dick out i could mime it very very well because of my skills wow

31:45but maybe a lot a lot of what we did was um sort of animal work uh a lot of it was maybe becoming trees and stuff like that. Do you think you can maybe blend into the surrounding better than any other student, a drama student? You can maybe become the war. Well, no. My point, I was saying... Become a chair. My point, at this... At my point, they could play dead. Very well. Which is how you survive a school shooting. Ah! It might be a bit too much, though. Yeah. Oh! Yeah. Because I guess you're learning from, like, the sort of the Shakespearean style. Ah! Like those old 60s films. Ah! a school shooter comes in i'm struck um anyway my point is uh were i shooting up the school that i attended and lived in for eight years the drama department would be a fucking easy win sure the teachers in there are cowards they're they're a feat you know um they're they're kind of their heads in the fucking clouds yeah right easy were i to attack the biology department go on okay i would have a real fight on my hands okay okay dr gunn who used to dissect foxes in the car park off the back of his land rover blood pouring down into the drains yeah you know this is boss level stuff good guy right he almost certainly had a loaded shotgun under his biology desk yeah now were i to somehow defeat him but then move on to the chemistry department yeah right certainly in the tenure of uh someone who i won't wait for vote name for legal reasons i would have had a pedophile to contend with okay chemistry pedophile as well chemistry pedophiles

33:31private school bumping mics at the new york comedy cellar was your pedo chemistry chair sick you know and that is why I couldn't go on Duke of Edinburgh because our Duke of Edinburgh leader was a chemistry pedo that's see look this is what you don't see you know it's very easy to say it's about a life of privilege ah privilege well I didn't go on Duke of Edinburgh because my chemistry teacher was a pedophile alright where's Stephen Bartlett when you need him