In Space No One Can Hear You Sieg Heil | The Space Race (Part 1)

0:00Truthers, announcement. I'm going back on tour. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's happening again. The truth teller. The truth teller. He's filling it out the box. Uh-oh. Lock up. Society doesn't want you to hear this man. Lock up your male cousins. I'm getting back on the road. Yes. My brand new stand-up tour, the preemptive comeback special. Before Starmer locks him up for telling the truth. You're going to have to log in to watch this stand-up tour. The preemptive comeback special. This is a world tour. This is the pre-come special. The pre-cum special. I'm going all over the world starting in September 2026.

0:38I'm coming to UK and Ireland. I'm coming to North America, Australia, that toilet in the Pacific, and New Zealand. Now, these first batch of dates, these are all UK and Ireland. These are the autumn next year, 2026. Patreon pre-sale is this Wednesday, the 3rd of December at 10 a.m. General sale is the 5th of December at 10 a.m. So sign up to the Patreon to get access to the presale. I'm going all over with this comeback special tour. Get out the basement. Sign up to the Patreon and get access to the presale. Get out the basement. Put your cleanest t-shirt on. Yeah, your least stained t-shirt. Your least cum-stained female body inspector t-shirt.

1:17Lick the tips of your fingers and push your eyebrows back. It's time to go out to see some live comedy. Fedora's on. Let the trousers on. Fight the AI slop and support some live comedy. People don't say that enough anymore. This is stuff that I can only say live in the room. Imagine. Imagine what that could be. That's why I've called it the preemptive comeback tour because this tour starts next year. It's going on for two years. Surely something's going to happen that's going to mean it's a comeback tour. Presale this Wednesday on Patreon. General sale Friday.

1:54Push your limits. Train with precision. See the results. At Equinox, that's high performance loving. Iconic spaces that inspire. Personal training backed by real data. Unlimited group fitness classes from yoga and Pilates to strength and conditioning. Elevate your post-performance ritual with saunas, steam rooms, cold plunges, and more. Everything you need to lock in and unlock your potential at Equinox. Start today at equinox.com.

2:25Wow. When you see the Earth as one thing, you realise we're not just a collection of nations. We're actually just one single people, the human race with one shared destiny. That's incredible. What are you getting? We've got to stop the boats. Stop the boats? I can see them from here. There's so many of them. It's a fucking invasion. I saw the border. How are you saying that? We need stronger borders. My word. How are you getting... We're defenceless. You're not feeling connected? They're just walking in. Are you not seeing how fragile the earth is? We need to protect it. They're not economic migrants.

2:58Bollocks. What are you seeing this? Those are working age males. Why are there not women on the boats? No, but what about the oneness of being? We're all one people. Fuck that. Britain for the British. That's what I'm getting. But are you not seeing the fragility of earth and how we need to go back and protect it? No, I'm thinking, why on earth am I recycling when there's all that blue stuff I could just shove my shit in? No one lives there, do they? Yeah, I know, but it's affecting the heat. Why am I washing out my glass jars? Don't you see that the earth is screaming out to be loved and cared for?

3:23Fuck that. I can see the Amazon from here. Chop it down. It's too big. Chop down the Amazon. I really thought... Set it on fire. I thought you'd have a new perspective seeing the earth from here. Yeah, it puts it into perspective what the real problems are, which is trans women in women's toilets. This is Houston Catholic with a desk. One, two, three.

3:52Welcome back to Finn vs. History. I'm with Horatio Gould. So infinity and ciboyond. Today we're going to space. Shit. We're in space. Wow. Oh, but another one. Wow. It's bourgeois in space. Yeah. This is the history of the space race and the moon landing. Yes. I get quite melancholy about this topic, actually. why because uh it's sort of the last time it's annoying that it wasn't the start of like a whole new era of history it's kind of like as good as it got in some ways sort of yeah it feels like it's the most jealous i was to not been alive during i'm jealous that the americans did it you know it feels like that i look back on that the most as if i wish i was there but also it's the last sort of time of genuine awe yeah the last time anyone had any awe for anything yeah exactly like now it's bourgeois with a gopro and it's like that originally for views and i know yeah he should be up there going i mean because he's left himself no room in the emotional scale has he right if he's going a fucking you know like an s-class train from the 80s you stick him in a in a pot up there and you see like the view of the earth whatever what's he gonna do just melt he's not bothered but the most exciting thing about this topic is that we uh it begins in the sauna of nazi science i could not believe doing research for this how much the nazis have a role in this the nazis arguably win the space race it's absolutely extraordinary really when we talk about the space race it's the race for second place because hitler did it in finn 44 and no one talks about it no one talks about the space nazis no some people do the space right to be fair my hairdresser who's like he was into q anon in 2013 right so like proper yeah yeah yeah die on the wall yeah exactly he was talking about nazi space race right so the there's there was guys before you know who are really into it my hairdresser yeah it's bald which i think is a red flag it's like a dentist with no teeth yes that is weird bald hairdresser um now yes the nazis uh the sauna of nazi science fuck me it's hot in here but i like it it's good it's good there's health benefit how long should i stay in here it's fucking hot in here but i'm enjoying it that's nazi science cold plunge of of leaving nazi science and then run back in run back in quickly i want to stay in for half an hour cold plunge of recycling and listening no the cold plunge of medieval history back to the sauna of nazi science me and the boys with the towels on just just talking about ideas now um starting a dialogue uh the cut this is we're in the cold war really um but really that starts in world war ii uh and now in our next episode we'll be dealing with the moon landings and manned space flight.

6:31But really the story starts with a man named Wernher von Braun. The big star. The star of Nazi science. I mean, I don't know. They should make a film about this guy. Really? Yeah. It's a fascinating narrative. Well, it feels like they're quite squeamish about the whole thing. Fair enough. But I'm not. No. I don't know why we're not shouting more about the fact the Nazis went to space. They won the race. You know, they are Usain Bolt and everyone else. Yeah. I mean, in terms of their racial theory, they won. Yeah, they won. They won the race. They did it. And Hitler would have landed on the moon much earlier had the Allies not defeated him.

7:11The what ifs in this scenario are extraordinary. Imagine the first words on the moon. That's the man's first... As he lands on the moon, beautiful words beamed across the world. So this starts with the German sort of naughty weapons. Right. They were by far the most ahead in rocket science. Yeah. So this guy, Werner von Braun, he's a real rocket botherer. But before rocket bothering was even a thing, is he one of the... So his dissertation at university gets classified by the German army. Because they're like, hang on. Hang on, this is, yeah. This spec, he comes onto something here. So that only gets released in 1960, but he's all about liquid-fueled rockets.

7:56And the reason the Germans are so obsessed with rockets is that in the Treaty of Versailles, they were forbidden from building a lot of different types of weaponry and army, but no mention of rockets, because I guess they weren't really a thing in 1918. So they go hell for leather on rockets from quite early on in the Nazi regime. But then I think around 1942, 1943, things are going bad for a friend of the pod, Adolf, and his boys. the stag do is starting to come unstuck. Yes. They haven't been to bed for three years. And the light's streaming through the window and they're thinking, oh, fuck, what's Ava going to think?

8:38We're in Russia. We've made a real pig's ear of it. Now, they start coming up with these sort of wonder weapons as a way to try and turn the tide of the fight. The first one is called the V1, which is known as the Doodlebug. and this is sort of like an early drone basically the first kind of idea of a modern rocket or like the drawing of a missile as we'd imagine it yeah missiles aren't a thing there's artillery yeah stuff like that there's shells yeah but the the actual missile doesn't exist at this point they've just been getting bigger and bigger and bigger cannons yes that's what they actually i heard this morning that the there were four there were four weapons in total in the v program the vengeance weapons v1 v2 which is the main one in this series v2 but there's a v3 that was a huge cannon from france pointed at london oh right basically just the biggest cannon you can imagine to just fire a ball at london and obliterate it now the v1 was called the doodle bug that would like buzz in the air and then its engines would you have to sort of catapult it from like a little runway okay if you can hear a drill uh people are drilling downstairs we've got nazis working on the v4 yeah we are doing a space program ourselves this podcast we want to go back to the moon and plant a swastika on the lunar surface as it should, that should be the first flag on the moon.

9:54He's not having any of it. He's not having any of it, but they won the race. Now, we'll get to the race for second place. There wasn't really much innuendo there. We want to go to the moon and plant a swastika. I believe in earnest speech. We went on Chris Williamson's podcast. We talked about the problem with ironic speech. Yeah, it's true. when we were brought on say what you mean as experts yeah it was great it was great going on that podcast but Chris earnestly asked us about history but it turns out you do know we don't know anything it turns out compared to him we know quite a lot he'd never heard of Clem and Attlee had no idea who he was anyway um I suppose him hosting a podcast called Modern Wisdom is the exact same as us holding a history podcast isn't it it's just that we're we're joking and he's not yeah he's wisdom fan TV he is yeah philosophy fan TV anyway uh yeah join the patron to help us fund putting a swastika on the moon uh what was the the germans start invent a rocket called the v2 this is the key this is the key one yeah uh the v1 was a doodle bug that was kind of a drone and what i'm sorry charlie can you get a photo up of the v1 launch pad it was like a little missile with wings and they'd sort of basically pull it back like a big catapult right sort of little conveyor belt and it would shoot up in the air and it would have a little jet on, a little propeller on it and you would hear it above London and you'd hear this kind of like bzzz, which is why it's called a doodle bug and then the engine would cut out and then you'd know that you were fucked.

11:24If you heard it cut out, it was just going to boom. Yeah, way worse than the V2. So it's basically the idea of a cannonball that can fly. That's kind of what's new is they're getting bombs that have their own flight paths. Sort of, but you couldn't control it necessarily. But it had wings, it had an engine. And it had a jet propeller in it that you could press like an accelerant. That was the first time anything like that had been done. Yeah, yeah. It had a range of about 200 miles. So the Germans, I think they stationed them around kind of Holland and they just try and lob them at the UK. And they do cause a lot of damage.

11:57I think maybe 10 ,000, no, no, maybe 6 ,000 people die in the UK from V1 and V2. And so a lot of blitz bombs were V1s? No, this is after the blitz. Oh, right, okay. This is after the blitz. So this is when Hitler's basically backed into a corner. The rhythm is quickening. Big man up top. Yeah, exactly. It's getting exciting. Mad stung is happening. Yeah, it's like that scene in Whiplash. Hitler's on the drums. Just press all the buttons, fire the rockets. He's backed into a corner. You know, he's losing. Ten minutes to go. Right, get big man up top. V2, bang. Now the V2... Goalkeeper up for the corner.

12:33Goalkeeper's up for the corner. That's what this is. The V2 rocket is Schmeichel going up for the corner at the end of the Champions League final. So now the V2, which is the main weapon in this story, the V stands for vengeance because Hitler's annoyed. You know, you don't back Adolf into a corner. They're like 47 feet tall. It's very much are we the baddies sort of energy. Yeah, the vengeance rocket. It looks fucking cool, to be fair. This is the first ever sort of ballistic missile. uh 47 foot tall and it it traveled so fast that you wouldn't hear it coming wow yeah that's the classic that's still that the our concept of a missile right yeah like a rocket the v2 the rocket so this was a child's idea of a rocket yeah um and this is the thing that on its first successful flight uh left the earth's atmosphere and entered space about 65 miles up into the sky so is this It's the first flag in space.

13:37There's so many milestones that we're going to cover in this whole race. And it's between the USSR and the USA. But the first real milestone is the Nazis. Which is the first object fired from Earth. The first man-made object into space. Nazis. Right. Okay, right. So that's the beginning. Gold medal off the top. Of everything. The Nazis start everything. And it's all because this guy, Werner von Braun, who is obsessed with rockets. rocket bother he's a rocket bother uh and he is a member of the nazi party as of 1937 and then he's a member of the ss but he in his defense he would say he's doing all this because he needs to be inside the tent to let so that they let him play with his rockets and the united states have had to accept that because he's so fucking good at making rockets yeah they really like rockets as well they're like fine fine sure uh and now when we get into how they make this Maybe a blind eye has never been turned as hard as this.

14:34This might be the hardest blind eye ever turned. Yeah, yeah. The blindest eye. Yeah, because the way that they make the V2s is, and this is so exciting. I didn't know this. It's so exciting. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweet Greens Fall Harvest Menu is back with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels, and crave-worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate, and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen, featuring fall's best dressed.

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15:48For a limited time, you can get a Big Mac meal for just$8. That's a burger, fries, and a drink. They don't call it an extra value meal for nothing. Get a Big Mac meal only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. So initially, they make it on this port called like Pinamunda. You what? It sounds like one of Hitlers Girls in Brazil. Pinamunda. Oi, Pinamunda, get us a coat. No, Pinamunda is a Baltic sea base in the north of Germany. And that's where all the research is happening and they're building V2s. But the Allies spot this. There's an Operation Crossbow, I think, which is where they're preparing for Operation Overlord D-Day and they basically go and bomb all these sites to try and knock out all these sort of mega weapons that Hitler's built.

16:37And does that work? Yeah. So they bomb Pienemünde in 1943 and so they then have to move the production of the V2s into central Germany. So they then get 20 ,000 concentration camp inmates from around Buchenwald and they get them to burrow into a mountain in the middle of, it's called Nordhausen, in the middle of Germany, and they build a fucking Blofeld underground rocket lair. It's as evil as it gets. It is so fucking cool and nasty, but it's like proper James Bond stuff. It's so cool. It's cool. Getting concentration camp slaves to build an underground lair. Yeah, okay. It's fucking cool. No, forget the slave labour.

17:20Yeah, it's like Lenny Kravitz. Look, you've got an iPhone. You think that's cool. Look, everything great in this world has been built by slaves. The pyramids, iPhones, the trainers you were wearing when you came in. Anyway, it's an underground fucking Bond villain lair where they store the V2s. So this is a big thing in how complicit Von Braun was, right? He definitely knew about the 20 ,000 Jewish starved slaves. They weren't all Jewish. Were they not? No, there's a lot of Eastern Europeans. Right. So it was prisoners of war as well. Yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, it wasn't a picnic for these fellas, right?

17:59And they were being worked to death. Okay. So they just - When are we working too? When do I go? Oh, right. Fine. You clock in. When do you get off? When I die. When I die, yeah. But to be fair, I mean, they do this from 43 onwards. To be fair. Interesting. To be fair. that you know we we have a long running go at the government for its failure to get infrastructure done we did talk about this is that the the real problem with hs2 human rights it's human rights yes exactly it kind of genuinely is everyone's like we used to build stuff we used yeah well yeah that's because we didn't really care if people died you throw people at a mountain and they will build an underground rocket there um so uh verna von braun is based here and so he definitely definitely knows that there are 20 000 uh are they not coming from the nearby concentration camp yeah right middle bow dora yeah which in the research says was infamous for its brutal conditions but it's a concentration camp so i don't know what infamous in what sense is it compared to other concentration camps oh you know it's not infamous for brutal it's a concentration camp?

19:10What are they doing? Yeah, what was the, Charlie, can you Google what was the nicest concentration camp? Of all the concentration camps. ChatTBT. ChatTBT. Oh no, they'll probably go woke up. Be all funny about it. What about the least horrible? Yeah, frame it like that. Like the kind of... Because that was the fat camp ones. That was a... Low security prison style. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Good behaviour. Where'd you get put to? Maybe they didn't know the concept of good behaviour, did they? Oh, come on, AI overview. Come on, don't be woke. Quote, it's not possible to describe any Nazi concentration camp as not horrible.

19:36I reckon they were all quite horrible yeah obviously they're all horrible we're a concentration camp but what's the best one to be in probably it probably is this one you know well they said this is infamous yeah so i don't know if it if there's something about it that's but at least you're building stands out in the worst place to be ever at least you're building something that will get us to the moon i mean you don't know that but in other camps they're just digging your own grave you're a big man for silver linings that's that's what listen let's chalk this one up in the pros okay cons holocaust allegedly bad pros the silver linings playbook big shiny rocket yes that's my version of civilized playbook it's me and jennifer lawrence and i'm just explaining to her how actually the nazi got to the moon so let's not rush to judgment jennifer also your fucking mentor i don't think i want to see you again that's what i would do um anyway so 7 000 people across the um across the war are killed by v2s but many more thousands die actually making them in the right of course in the slave labor mountain camp so not the most efficient death machine well well yeah it's just as death on the input as well as the output right um so it's not an effective missile basically no it's not an efficient missile but the technology is the beginning of everything.

20:55But it's absolutely terrifying because it comes faster than the speed of sound. So it's not like you see planes or hear them coming. So you're just not... I think the first one that ever lands is in Chiswick. People are just going about their day. And then just the next second, there's a 20-foot crater where six houses used to be. Oh, so there's a first V2 landing in... The first one in London. I think the first one might be in Belgium or Holland. Right, right. The first one lands in London in Chiswick and they're aiming for Charing Cross. Right. So they can't aim for shit. No. But London's such a big area that they hit a lot of stuff.

21:24I mean, this photo is amazing. This is from a V2 launch in Piedermunde. Just the look at that rocket and the design, that in the 40s, it doesn't look 40s. It looks like 15 years ahead of its time, at least. And so Werner von Braun, he's in the SS. At one point, he gets drunk and he goes to all the boys and he's like, we're losing this war. I don't know why they're making us concentrate on this missile. It's not going to work. I want to get into space. And then he basically is going to be court-martialed and shot and then Himmler intervenes and goes, he's really important. Because Hitler loved the idea of the big missile.

22:04Maybe because he had a micro-penis. I did watch that documentary I watched the documentary and they split it into two parts and so the micropena stuff they're saving for the second part which is very frustrating it was like you're watching a football team play come on come on come on come on yeah I'm like my dad watching the rugby come on come on get to the micropena ah fuck ah fucking idiots and then when they had this propensity for ADHD I'm like oh come on man we know this he was busy I did find it astonishing honestly Saturday night me and my wife stayed in to watch it event TV first time we've watched linear tv sorry we can't make it out tonight baby sister you put the kids to bed hit the hit the micropenial stocks on um but it presented very strangely how do you mean as in like they're saying he's got adhd and he's in the top one percent for predisposition to autism right and then they keep saying like but this doesn't excuse his actions and you're like well why are you why are you saying telling us this then yeah because it can't help but make you think oh right well you love trains i guess yeah and big numbers i do think it's yeah i do think on a more genuine note it's kind of ridiculous to keep bringing these things up because it equates them as if it's some sort of the adhd is completely irrelevant yeah yeah it's like what he famously got a lot done in a short period of time like so that's irrelevant um but also what what point are you making what is the point you're making he had adhd and autism oh okay that's what he did on the course i get it now anyway vernon brown wants to go to space and he is saved from court-martialed by Himmler and Hitler who intervene and say no don't court-martial him because he's our main rocket botherer wait wait why is he court-martialed because he's he's being anti-missile pros he's being defeatist and he's saying and Himmler or whoever is saying you're actually trying to get to space when really you need to be developing this technology to fire long-range missiles the only suspicions I have about all of this is this is definitely could be part of American propaganda right don't you think because they want to Selvon Brown is as un-Nazi as possible.

24:00Oh, I see what you mean. That's why I'm a little confused about how much of a prison this is coming through. Yes. Because it's completely within their interest because it's so embarrassing that the Nazis... I think they've got paperwork, I think. I mean, I don't know that. But I give the guy the benefit of the doubt. He got us to space. And by us, I mean the human race, not the Nazis. But they did win the race. Now, at the end of the war, tragedy. The Nazis lose. But straight away, the Cold War starts. Right. In that the Americans and the Soviets are then battling for the best of Nazi talent. Yes.

24:37They know that the Germans are way ahead of either of them in all this technology. And the US have this big night-night bomb. Yeah. Night-night! Yeah. But they think, Christ, if we could get that on one of von Braun's naughty rockets, we are golden. Yeah. We can tell everyone to go to bed straight away. Operation Paperclip, right? Yeah. The Americans had earmarked basically all of the... Which is not the Microsoft paper clip. No, it's not. Although I would like a Nazi paper clip to just pop up and give me tips. And something throughout, which also happened with East Germany and West Germany, is communist Russia, because there's actually a much deeper hatred of the Nazis because of how much more close quarters the fighting was.

25:18The denazification process in the East was far more thorough than in the West. the west it was a lot more open to like if you're good you're good you know but the east it was really like it was a much tougher and that's kind of what ended up happening with the space program as well and what you think what the soviets just took nazis no no the west was far more uh turning better at turning a blind eye i see well forgive and forget turn the other cheek yeah now operation paperclip is where a lot of these scientists uh they surrendered to the americans and as you say the americans go uh it was a bad few years we've all done stuff we regret he's a scientist he's not a politician he's a man of science it's apolitical yes your stuff was built by slave labor but anyway so uh they take vernon brown and his boffin mates to the america america now the soviets they uncover a v2 factory and they see some like fragments and they have a guy as well called korolev so the soviets have a guy called korolev who's like a once in a generation rocket genius he's their boy um and he starts he takes a few of the uh verna von brown's muffins because they have they had a space program from 1921 really rocket program so this is like lenin the end of lenin right right so they they have been investing in let's go to space and share it all yeah brilliant um space and missiles far more than the americans even though the america what's interesting is the americans lead the nuclear program through the manhattan project but missiles and space they're actually very behind on well part of the reason they put everything into nuclear part of the reason the soviets pull ahead is that the american uh hydrogen no the the russians hydrogen bomb is so heavy they need a bigger rocket to transport it yeah so the americans were dealing with much smaller bombs anyway should we go through key figures in operation paperclip yeah let's get the microsoft paperclip up and just tell us who are these um we we've won the war who are these nazi scientists that we should uh take home we've got arthur rudolph who's a rocket engineer investigate for war crimes renounces he's the one they do clamp down on he's the one who's who's not apologetic at all no he's basically i'll do it again do it again and it's like you gotta go doesn't even get arrested he's just gets kicked out he gets rudolph herman who's uh an avid nazi supporter he directs an expert in supersonic travel yeah so it cancels each other out basically um helmut walter who's a specialized specialist in peroxide technology um these are all like key so they're really entrenched in nasa basically yeah kurt heinrich yeah becomes the first director of nasa's kendi space center and is described as an ardent Nazi.

28:03This is crazy. Yeah. They're not even disavowed their Nazi. No. A lot of them are doubling down. Can you Google Kurt Heinrich, is it Debus? Debusy. Debusy. Debus. Kurt Heinrich Debus. What's the vibe in like the canteen there with all the other, when you just got like 20 Nazis? Well, I guess the shared language is science, right? Do you know what I mean? So I feel that no matter the political differences, you do have... No, that's a basketball player. Kurt Heinrich Debus. Kurt Debus was a committed Nazi party member during the third Reich. Joined in 33. Yeah, early Nazi. So right at the beginning.

28:37He got on the train early. He joined us the same year as Hitler. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you sort of can't really deny that. So he's a founding member of the Nazi party. No. And NASA. Yeah, I mean, well, NASA is very close to Nazi, isn't it? NASA. Nasty. Nasty. Nazi. There you go. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's true. Yeah, the Nazi. Oh, it all makes sense now. Oh, the Nazi space center. Yeah. Did he revoke his views or something? Let's type that in. There was no record of him ever publicly renouncing or apologizing for his Nazi involvement. No public statements of regret. So I guess he never spoke.

29:13No comment. Right, no comment. Just no comment. Leave. Leave that. Yeah, fair play. None of your fucking business, quite frankly. He's had, the top order's been absolutely shattered. Yeah. Just leave everything, I reckon. Yeah. See it out. Yeah. So the Americans nick all these boys. Yeah. They put them up in Alabama, Huntsville. But remember, America this whole time are trying their best to not use the Nazis as well. But they just can't. They're just so behind. They're scholars. So like, but they're trying, a lot of the reason why it takes so long is that they're trying to wait as long as possible to use von Braun, who's ready to do it.

29:45Von Braun's like, I've got all the things. Get me on the pitch, lads. And he's like, well, let's just see if our guys can do it. And it keeps fucking up. And they're like, yeah, let the Nazi do it then. It's an under 12s team with Messi on the bench. And Messi's like, get me on there. And they're like, no. They need to learn. Anyway, the Soviets, as you said, they've been doing this since the 20s. The early pioneers include Sergei Korolev, who is the future mastermind of Sputnik. Now, he, during Stalin's great purge, had been banged up in a gulag. And with that goes all kind of rocket knowledge.

30:16So when the USSR entered Germany in 1945, they capture a lot of V2 factories and some of the engineers, and they rebuild the German rockets as R1, which entered service in 1950. Now, the R-5 Pobeda, 1955, this is the first real Soviet strategic missile which is capable of carrying a one megaton warhead. And they launch dogs on the test rockets. They're not going into space, I don't think. They're just firing dogs across the world. Now, the R-7, this is the big one. This is the rocket that is designed from 53 onwards, can carry up to a six ton nuclear warhead to America. Yeah. So from 50, 53 onwards, the Americans are really like, they're like, fuck, okay, we're falling behind here.

31:02This has got four strap-on boosters. Yeah. Also, they've gone nuclear cable. Charlie's woken up. Yeah. Not your kind of strap-on boosters. A strap-on booster, is that a strap-on on top of a strap-on? Yeah, is that for short people getting pegged? Yeah. Would you be wearing, do you wear a strap-on booster? I do wear a strap-on booster. It's like a car seat booster. Yeah. Yeah, there's a booster seat with a dildo in it, basically. It's a high chair with a dildo. Yeah, but for adults. For adults, yeah. Yeah, because you do see those things. What are those machines with the, like, you have levers and you sit in a chair and it's got stirrups kind of things?

31:36What, the Pilates machines? Almost. The Reformer Pilates. Like Reformer Pilates, but there's a dildo on it. All right, like a Reformer dildo machine. Can you buy them in the shop or do you have to make your own? I don't know, Charlie. Can you buy them in the shop? Yeah, Argos. Yeah, because rockets, I believe they have three-stage, like, boosters, don't they? yeah who do the rockets oh right but the equivalent would be you have a really really big strap on and then when it gets you get tired you make it slightly smaller yeah and then you just have your dick at the end I think and that's when you get to space that's a way I guess to fuck a woman into space I don't really know what I'm saying yeah Charlie not sure no I'm not sure either normally it's just analogue just get the dildo and just like ram it in there I guess old school none of those woke bollocks I guess ram it in there I guess yeah you know you know trends are temporary but class is permanent exactly you know knees in the dirt with a dildo up your bum the rolex of masturbation it's timeless it's timeless yeah no matter what comes into fashion ramming a dildo up your ass aggressively will never go out of fashion you're right actually class is permanent um on your knees in the dirt apple watch bollocks you know this remote control flying dildo shit.

32:55Roll your sleeves up like a real man. Get a rolling pin up your butt. Put a fucking... Fucking eat a plank of wood, bite down hard and shove a rolling pin up your ass. Like a fucking classy bloke. You're right. So that's called the R7. That's when you bite down on a piece of wood and shove a rolling pin up your ass. Arse heaven. The arse heaven. Thank you. So the Soviets have gone nuclear in like 49 or 47, isn't it? Yeah. They did their first nuclear test in the end of the 40s. So it's now really heating up the Cold War. But in the 50s, I didn't realize just how much the Soviets were dominating this.

33:30Yeah, because as you say, von Braun is constantly like, there's something about how von Braun was working for the army, the American army, and the army weren't interested in space. They were interested in getting a fucking nuke over to Russia in a missile. But the Russians are thinking about space as well. Yeah. And it's also the generational genius of Korolev that's driving this as well. So October 1957, a modified R-7 launches Sputnik 1 into Earth orbit. This is the first thing to go into orbit. Right. This is the first satellite, but it's literally a grapefruit that beeps. It's about that big.