Measuring Skulls When The Women Have Gone To Bed | Prehistoric Man (Part 1)

0:00This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen Snacks A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that but for your money Shop, pay, manage your account and earn rewards all in one place And with purchase protection on eligible items biometric security and pass keys you're protected at every step Download the new PayPal app to get started See paypal.com slash protection terms Low energy? Unfocused? Foggy? You might be dehydrated. Whether it's hot yoga, over 100-degree weather, or too much sun. Gatorlite, with a specialized blend of five electrolytes, was scientifically designed to help move fluids into the body faster for rapid rehydration.

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1:41Welcome back to Finn vs. History. I'd like to start this episode with a trigger warning. Go on. We are going deep. Deeper than we've ever gone before. Into autism's core. We are meeting the architect of autism. This is the Titanic submersible. This is. We're James Cameron in this bitch. James Cameron going deep into the Ugga Booga lands. It's prehistoric man week. You're completely flailing about here. I mean, I feel like - You've got nothing to hold on to. I'm in a disabled toilet and the lights are off and I'm on the floor and I'm trying to find that big red cord. Help. I've tried to wipe my ass and fall off the toilet.

2:17Help. Help. This is the stone age. Yeah. This is history for non-verbal people. Yeah. People who struggle to live independently. we're going back to the beginning here history for ugly women would you say sorry the story i'll go women i'll go i'll go i'll go i'll go i do you know what i didn't didn't encounter any i'll go mingos yeah right i didn't i didn't encounter any women in the but exactly and it's also like you know women can't go in submarines because they lose the fertility it's like it's too really is that a thing yeah you know about this don't you come on this is good stuff pete you know about this don't you pete no so deep when you go it super deep down you lose all your sperm because we really because we produce sperm really easily yeah when we get up again we've become cum laden again right but women they have a set amount of cum laden yeah when he went when he was buried at sea lost all his sperm yeah and if he comes back up they'll start going it's the summer cum laden we we know and love but women have a set amount of eggs yes i knew this women are born with all the eggs they're ever going to have so when they go under they'll lose them all so that's why you can't you can't conceive underwater well it's just more like why it's boy zone down there, is it?

3:31it's not for women no it's not for women, you shouldn't be nosing about down there, no frankly the deep is none of your fucking business because your insides will just be like a fucking omelette well there's a great joke I can't remember who does it about how women are born with all their eggs and the reason that men aren't born with all the sperm they're ever going to have is because by the age of 12 they'd have just lost everything just the race would not continue yeah yeah speaking of the human race um we are no women do not lose the regs in deep water so you're you've completely just even for this podcast the amount of misinformation off the top i mean that's extraordinary i mean it was a legal ban until 2011 because people i think i think it's just because you're trapped down there and the last thing you want is any nagging 3 ,000.

4:17It's a funny thing for the government to make up to stop women going on. No, you'll be infertile, actually. You'll never have kids, so you can't go down there. No. I tried to impose a similar rule on the shed at the end of the garden. If you go there, you'll become infertile. Your insides will explode. Your room will explode if you come in here. But then she walked in one day and I had to backtrack. Yeah. No, today we're talking about prehistoric man. It's... I'm lost. Completely lost. Something about the stone age... This is before history. It's arguably not even history. well no history starts when people start talking yeah and this is they have this is biology this is the village origin story yeah this is the prequel this is i mean history starts what this is the phantom menace 10 000 this is the phantom menace in in every respect you know people i mean i i don't know i didn't load nonsense it's it's tedious history starts in the bronze age you might say yeah uh which is what egypt and it ends when blair comes to power yes 97 the end of history this is before egypt yeah uh way before way before egypt so let's just get people up to speed so 13.8 billion years ago right hang on hang on now i must again in a disclaimer if you're listening to this and you are you you're awaiting a meeting with your bank manager stop now you will default on any loan payments if we go any further yes as you said 13.8 billion years ago bang bang you know bang in the dirt is gone yeah instead it's bang and everything exists bang and the dirt's arrives yeah four and a half billion years ago big jump forward earth do we not want to go every year yeah let's do it year by year 13.79999 billion years ago the bangs happened uh yeah what's happened between the big bang and and earth but at this point that anyone who says they know what's going on there is just talking out their whole yeah and that's dust so it's banging the dust to rise yeah but bang on the dust is bang the dust is here four and a half billion years ago earth 3.8 billion years ago it feels like earth is is pretty is older than you'd think right in the in the whole scheme of things if the hot if everything is 14 billion years and earth is almost five billion that's that's that's it's we're older than I thought we'd be.

6:37Right. No? No. Okay. Billion. Yeah. Billion's such a big number. It's Cillian, yeah. It's just too big a number. I don't believe it. And in 3.8 billion years, emergence of orgasms, organisms. Yeah, orgasms. 3.8 billion years ago. They emerged from the depths. The big, ah. And then 245 million to 66 million years ago, dinosaurs. We will do a dinosaur episode. Yeah, we will. We'll leave that for now. And then 2.5 million years ago, which I suppose is when our timeline starts. All mans. Humans evolve in Africa. Yeah. And this begins the Paleolithic era. Yeah. Which apparently is 99 % of human history.

7:18Right. Is the Paleolithic era, which is 2.5 million years ago to about 10 ,000 years ago, or 10 ,000 BC. Yeah. And then everything since then is 1%. Isn't that crazy that everything we've done so far is only less than 1 % of human history? But I think if you look at human history, it's just more is happening more regularly exponentially right yes yes so 2025 you know bonnie blue yeah is a new phenomenon that we've been talking about and that's all happened within eight months this podcast yeah but then for two million years you you'll invent one thing every 500 000 years yes one notable thing will happen in half a million years if you look we just skipped millions of years yeah because yeah someone will come up with a shoe and that will be like well that's pretty quick for 200 000 years let's take let's take three million years off we've invented one shoe yeah so but it's just fascinating isn't it it's dizzying one percent less than one percent at this point hitler is is a speck in a monkey man's eye yeah i guess so yeah crazy yeah but a but a spark but a twinkle yeah so his ancestors are around here though it's comforting it's comforting to know that somewhere somewhere in east africa

8:43yeah um so homo sapiens start to evolve in africa yeah we are homo sapiens that's our listeners are we don't know they're more homo basement in this maybe yeah um homo smellions yeah um now there's several different types of human at this point yeah there's a homo that bit would be interesting wouldn't it to have loads of different types of human i do find this yeah i mean your your view of racial science is we'll get to racial science well this is where i started to actually find interesting it's when they discovered it all and went oh yeah this is the missing link between monkeys and colonial subjects.

9:20So there's death from about, what? Two million years ago, the homo genus starts. Don't slag them off. They're all homos for two million years. Pre-history is gay. Right, yeah, it is. And then really it's a journey of getting straighter. So the homo genus, this is my problem with it. This is not history, it's biology, which I did not like. This is a history, it's it's it's a it's a fat trans woman with a pink uh hair in a wheelchair that's what this history is don't threaten me with a good time that's what this is this is what where we're at right okay because i think it evolves into more straight straighter as it goes along and that's currently where we're at this is the apex if we look at the evolution of the type of history people who are into this history it's so you're saying that you've got like apes that walk that start walking and then before apes you've got a fat trans woman with pink hair in a wheelchair skinnier and and onto crutches yeah and their hair gradually gets blue for a bit and then black until it's world war ii and it's a it's a straight man in a suit straight man reading a book about churchill there's lots of different homos right at this it's famously yeah there's homo neanderthalus yeah homo erectus yeah homo they're all homos yeah it's like the lgbt community right it's a rainbow coalition rainbow coalition let's have a look at these so the first one is homo habilis right which is latin for handyman okay yeah so he's yeah so he's the suppose we think again we don't know any so this is the oldest one this is the first non-monkey man right right we think and it's not this stuff changes it's chicken and egg isn't it it's monkey and human yeah we're not chicken and egg it's more like because chicken and egg is a stupid thing because it was clearly the chicken but at some point well hang on what do you mean it was clearly the chicken Where's the chicken come from?

11:10If you think about it, it's quite, at any point you decide what a chicken is, that's where it starts. At one point, something that wasn't a chicken laid an egg that gave birth to a chicken. Right. So then it is the egg. So it's the egg, actually. It has to be the egg. It has to be the egg. Sorry. That's what I meant, was anyone who says it's the chicken is really stupid. And I just said that. And you just said it was a chicken. No. Of course it's the egg. It's great to just, the theatre of ideas here testing fellow historians this podcast is sponsored by surf shark yeah now listen if you using public wi-fi did you know you're at risk of what i don't know well it's like much like public toilets right at risk of getting chlamydia aids yeah everything yeah sexual diseases in the air travel in the air right digital stds i think i think it's real so this is a johnny this is a digital johnny if you like surf sharks digital condom right that you place over your laptop

12:13they send you a big massive condom and you squeeze your laptop they also send you a tiny condoms they know the kind of people who use their service and they're just like not everyone's diggers are smaller than yours a lot of them are smaller because i am pretty much average it's your laptop it's your laptop quite small for your height it looks like a small laptop i'm just very tall i've got big hands actually got an ipod mini this is an ipod this is a macbook pro 15 inch no matter how small your cock is it doesn't mean you stop you from getting sex or it probably makes you less averse to stds because less people want to have sex with you and uh there's less surface area yeah exactly yeah if you if you're carrying around a big old fucking hog what you think you're scraping stds like an elephant's trunk just yeah yeah whereas you i've got a little pocket you're a surgeon surgical sex penis keyholes keyhole butthole surf shark vpn this is a risk-free 30-day money-back guarantee and if you use the code fvh foxtrot vagina hotel four extra months of surf shark on us yeah go to this link yeah fat vagina horse the fat vagina horse surfshark.com slash fvh four extra months of surf shark don't let online threats catch you off guard buy a big condom for your laptop you've got to you've got to put a condom on your laptop or else you'll get chlamydia you'll get you'll get digital chlamydia yeah so the beginning of the paleolithic period the first species identified as part of the homo genus the lgbtq community is homo habilis yep um little fella little boy a little hairy fella little hairy fella he looks like he's cute he does look cute um this is getting i'd like to have one of these guys around yeah yeah long arms yeah very hairy hairy shoulders and back um he looks like a sort of um a boss man bring a kid to boss man day kid to work day what a kebab shop owner's son homoabolism is a command proponent son yes yes please my friend oh you're learning yeah chili garlic please please it's work experience boss man work experience right now he didn't look like modern humans i disagree as i said i think we've seen a couple of these people yeah yeah uh those of you haven't seen charlie it's not far off this is not far off charlie face reveal on the screen now um charlie by the way who hasn't turned up yeah by the way The reason why we've got Pete, didn't say hi, Pete.

14:55Hello. The reason we've got Pete behind on the mics today is Charlie just didn't turn up for work. No, and he woke up. We don't know where. Also, he produces another podcast I do. It's not out. No, his wallet, his keys and his jacket are all here. He was in the office yesterday. No, he's not answering his phone. No, I mean, he'll probably arrive at some point. And then we called him and he said, yeah, I've slept through 15 alarms. I've been up till three. You know when someone answers the phone going, fuck, you are right. You are asleep. He'll be here at some point. But it's quite, it's appropriate, isn't it?

15:25We're talking about cavemen. Anyway, speaking of notably smaller brains and more ape-like proportions. But enough about our producer. We're talking about Homo habilis. And we think he was related to an earlier ape-like creature called Australopithecus africanus. Making shit up at this point. Who fucking knows? I mean, you could just tell us anything and we'd believe you. Do you know what I mean? Because no one's boring enough to go into this apart from like 15 people. Yeah. They could just be having a jolly. Yeah. and just making shit up because it's not like we're going to check it. No. I'll just be making loads of shit up.

15:57Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking bisexualsaurus. Bisexualsaurus. Right. So we think that homo habilis, the handyman, they're called handyman because they're the first human-like things to use tools. But it's the opposable thumb. Well, there's a thing about pinching, isn't there? Right. There's a thing about how humans can pinch like this. Yeah, Italians. Italians are the most... Women in public. Yeah. Hey, hey. Ciao, Bela. So humans can pinch like this. We've got family friends who lived in, who are English, who lived in Italy for 20 years. An Italian man once pinched Pippa's arse and she had to run into her house and he held it until she shut the door on him.

16:36He was literally running down the street. She was like, she had to shut the door on his hand. The most Italian man in the world. Just running down. But yeah, that's what I mean is that the Italians have evolved the grip, the strength to their pinch that I don't have. I'm less evolved than Italian. The opposable thumb is very opposable for the Italians. Italians are the height of evolution because they're able. And you think about the evolution, breeding stuff out, who's successful. Italians are the most successful at breeding because they can hold onto a woman's ass for days, hours. Hey, hey, ci-pa, ci-pa, ci-pa, ci-pa, ci-pa, ci-pa.

17:14You know, I can't do that. So eventually Italians will win out in the evolutionary struggle over British people. Yeah. We'll after you. And they're spreading their seed like nobody's. They're chucking out a window. Crop duster. Please. Anyway. Then we get to Homo erectus, who, these, the first, I'd say, he's good looking. Yeah. But he's kind of hunky. So we go from a like little monkey boy to pretty lean. But in a way, I feel this is what women really actually want. They kind of pretend that they want other things. They kind of are still, they're still sort of pining after this. This is kind of the female gaze, is it not?

17:53I think it is actually, yeah. Deep set jaw. Hairy. And if you're listening, at this point we have very small foreheads because we have a small brain. Right. So we have big eyebrow, big brow. Here we go. This is what women want, apparently. Big overbite, like big kind of monkey face. Well, I think what men want is like Sidney Sweeney. Yeah. And what women want is this. Yes, you're right. but they want this but he writes poetry

18:26it's ugga bugga haikus that's what they want so this is the first guy to stand up now what's going on in their brain because when you're trying to think of what's going on in an animal's brain do you know what I mean like so like when you're thinking what does a dog think it's sort of you can't really it's pointless I sometimes go to text my dog and then remember that I don't it doesn't have a phone what would you be texting how much do you love him do you want to walk walk question mark walk yeah but at this point we could probably conceptualize a little bit what it was like in their brain oh go go go go go because it would what's the vision there is it just is it just being like being in charlie's brain is it just what we've seen but just everything is just yeah like stupid is it just stupid no i don't know if they have uh is it stupid brainers conscious they they're the first ones to the first ones to stand up first guy to stand up this guy yeah uh they were always before lenny bruce before lenny bruce we should place this um this is sort of 1.9 million years ago so have i got news for you is in development it's in development it's not been picked up yet but his slop and merton are yeah they're going into hat trick offices we've got an idea here about something very wry could we make wry comments so believe it or not this is pre have i got news for you i mean it's terrifying what is what is the world if we've got news for you isn't there you know yeah the first guest for homo erectus kind of yeah angus deaton wasn't born yet terrifying anyway 1.9 million years ago he's this guy stands up a monkey stands up yeah and he's got cum gutters as well yeah look if you're watching absolute fucking smoke show smoke show i mean it's like david gandy he doesn't like david gandy if you just stop before the head yeah i mean it's a hairy gandy he's got hairy shoulders david gandy if you've got pva glue and pubes all over him yeah this episode is brought to you by paypal you know how a mom's bag has everything sunscreen snacks a stapler the new paypal app is like that but for your money shop pay manager account and earn rewards all in one place and with purchase protection on eligible items biometric security and pass keys You're protected at every step.

20:42Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms. Low energy, unfocused, foggy. You might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body with a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration. Consult a healthcare professional if symptoms persist. Brussels clean up nicely at Sweetgreen.

21:22Maple glazed, roasted, and edges perfectly caramelized. Sweetgreen's fall harvest is back on the menu. And the season's most overlooked little green vegetable is dressed to be devoured. You know what to do. Order on the Sweetgreen app. uh they had a larger brain than homo habilis two-thirds the size of the modern brain is the bigger the brain this is the cleverer the monkey don't get me started on phrenology but this is the first guy to control fire we think right we think i don't fucking care we the royal but they are conscious well i guess so there's a level of conscious when do you when do you draw that line well is it i guess in when the people are talking about consciousness in the enlightenment they were drawing their line racially yes so it is all about where you decide to draw the line right well in the book sapiens which is very popular good book yeah um you know open to the whole chapter about perjo which i think is a strange way of opening well yeah it's so he's really talking down to people right but he has to because he's a very clever bloke right he says that there are three main revolutions in the human story cognitive agricultural scientific no no no come on come on that's i think that's over isn't it i think it's gone back there's a sexual counter-revolution yeah it'd be awesome if you just put that in there sexual counter-revolution yeah it's just mission the horniest guy the lights off now from now on women getting their tits out i feel industrial is probably more bigger cognitive revolution agricultural women getting their tits out that's the 90s last mags um so he says there's the cognitive revolution which i guess at some point i think he credits it at 70 ,000 years ago.

22:58So we're still way after this. Because these fellas, they're still kind of monkeys. Right. And he says that... Monkey! Monkey! They're northern. And he says the key to their success or sapiens success... The monkey? No, us. Okay. Is that we can cooperate in groups larger than 100. Right. Because we can imagine stuff. Okay. So he says fiction is the actual difference between us and apes. Right. Because you can't convince an ape to do something for... a story like religion or nationhood or whatever no it's it's fucking or bananas it's fucking or bananas um which you know me on a bad day yeah that's you won't convince me to do anything if it's not for banana or a blowjob right whereas for them it's like you know the gruffalo exactly yeah something like that yeah uh yeah the people will die for the gruffalo the gruffalo i think is after homo right yeah yeah homo gruffalo i think homo erectus controls fire they have more advanced tools i guess because their thumbs are better yeah this survives for two million years right that's a long time long old fucking shift this guy's done so we're standing up and i think we're running a bit yeah we were waiting for half an hour for charlie and that felt like a long time yeah but that's two million years two million years so then we get to uh this isn't really a key species but it's quite funny homo floresiensis So this is like a side species.

24:20Yeah, side quest. The Hobbit. So around 700 ,000 years ago on an island in today's Indonesia, a species is thought to have evolved from a population of Homo erectus that were all dwarfs. Well, there's island shrinkism. Well, there's island gigantism, and I guess it's the opposite. Because you know island gigantism, right? The reason why the Komodo dragons are massive is because on an island you can dominate. Small creatures can dominate to the point where they become huge. They get really big. That's why you have giant tortoises. That's why Scandinavian kids are taller than our kids. Why? Because they're eating better.

24:55Fish. Fish, I guess. Stinky fish. I don't know. Yeah. I suppose by the time they're five, they're about that much taller. Okay. Fair enough. Anyway, these fuckers were all dwarves. But this is tiny. Yeah. They were all the size of penguins. Look, we've got a picture up there. That's kind of cute. Talk about that. I mean, that's the beauty standards at this point. That's a thick, a thick homo florenzius. um big thick is that a woman i think that's like their equivalent of kim kardashian that's the picture big bum yeah tits out break the internet yeah um they weighed about 25 kilos very small brain um evidence suggests they hunted baby elephants but they could hold sticks and stuff so that's still pretty like dwarf elephants so everything's just mini it's like a model village um but this is essentially so my theory is that the female evolution starts here right um and modern women take their cue from okay these fellas they're smaller they have bigger hips small brains small brains but what's interesting is on these islands the rodents are huge and the people are tiny yeah so it's like a nightmare that's crazy yeah you're like the massive rats yeah yeah here we go so about 200 000 years ago something like that you've got these three distinct homos right so this this would be lgb alan car alan car alan car steven fry and uh claire balding yeah it's all three people who've been on celebrity traitors yeah off the top of my head trying to think of any gay celebrity to us like they've all got big heads yeah uh very so So Homo sapiens originates in Africa, East Africa.

26:36Yeah. Neanderthals, they're Europe. Yeah. And then Denisover. His name's not Denis. Not Denis Irwin. Not Denis Irwin, no. Homo Denisover, who they only discovered him about 15 years ago. Oh, really? Yeah, in a cave in Siberia. How's he doing? Hey? How's he doing? Oh, he's fucked. He's done. Completely fucked. But that's why all of this stuff is completely up for grabs. still yeah literally they thought it was just home and neanderthals and sapiens and then like oh fuck dennis was knocking about yeah there were then then there's kind of i guess a struggle for supremacy sort of between neanderthals and but we stayed in africa for ages yeah neanderthals were europe right they got out there quick yeah but neanderthals didn't come out of africa but sapiens starts moving about yes at some point sapiens is like i don't like it but neanderthal the Neanderthals actually were...

27:31Should we get into the Neanderthals? So they develop kind of like a, is it a similar time? They're around at a similar time, the Neanderthals. Discovery of Nathaniel Bonds was 1856. So this is a fruity time for science. Oh, I love this. This is my favourite. So taking Neanderthals, they're big headed. They look like our idea of a caveman, right? Well, all the ideas of cavemen, our perception of cavemen comes from the 19th century discovery of Neanderthal bones in Germany, the Neander Valley. That's why Neanderthal was used as an insult. Yeah, exactly. knuckle draggers yeah so they found these skull cap and bones in the cave and this is just before darwin's book they basically think yeah this is you know this is a theory that i've a long bit a fan of that the skull they find is the missing link between um black people and white people right or they think that at this point the other those big heads the bridge is the bridge yeah because at this point it's empire racism is a is a scholarly pursuit yeah um it's not it's not been degraded yeah um and so at this point they think european civilization is the apex of evolution yeah and so they think neanderthal skulls are like uh a stepping stone on the journey to becoming white and enlightened right right um well are they saying blacks behind neanderthal i don't know right but this is um this is when you got the caucasoid mongoloid and the other one this is when they're like doing it yeah it's three groups yeah which has been discredited It's three genders.

28:55Phrenology is rife. Again, I'm trying to bring, I'm an amateur phrenologist, so I love this stuff. But they find the skull, and then there's a French guy who finds a skeleton in a cave in like the 1911 or something, and he's the first one to draw the caveman stooped over. Right, right. So that's the first, our thought, our image of Neanderthals comes from that 20th century. But actually, what they found is in Spain, they found a Neanderthal skull with Down syndrome. Right. And so, and he lived, the kid with Down syndrome lived for a bit, which implied like, you know. Implied that they were woke.

29:34No. Implied they were looking after him, which means that Neanderthals were actually, weren't necessarily savages. They were like, caring. Yeah, they were woke. Yeah. They had blue hair, basically. He found a fragment of blue hair in the skull. But they found disabled Neanderthals. You have to sustain a tribe to keep a disabled Which again is like what do they sound like if Ugga Booga is like Stephen Fry what does what does disabled Ugga Booga sound like like what's the speech impediment Ugga Ugga Ugga Ugga and everyone's like Ugga Booga everyone's like Ugga Booga but then again this is what Havagor News Viewer doing they're being Ugga Booga or like a Rye Ugga Booga and everyone's like the big the big brow yeah uh is neanderthals they've got a higher lung capacity they've got bigger lungs because they've got their rib cages are like sort of squat they're stockier they've got bigger muscles they could they could carry more than we can they're stronger they're faster yeah right maybe not faster but basically look they're kind of squat and they've got high hips um and what's big rib cages it was quite a recent finding i remember watching this on tv like fucking 10 years ago it had only just come out that basically Neanderthals weren't stupid they might even be cleverer than sapiens really they might have a higher brain capacity yeah the number one reason why sapiens could defeat Neanderthals is working as a group or community yeah they don't have that sort of thing so they're sort of like autistic guys yeah who are smarter yeah but had worse social skills yes yeah so it's kind of like sapiens were like the high school bully yeah jocks jocks yeah wedging Neanderthals.

31:20Yeah.

31:24Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was an American football team, basically. Neanderthals are Milhouse, and we're whatever the other guy. What's the other guy called from The Simpsons, the bully? Nelson. Nelson. We're Nelson. We're Nelson and Neanderthals are Milhouse, yeah. But we have 5%, roughly, Neanderthal DNA in us. Europeans do. Right, so that means that we're... Which means, well, this is where we get to the... We don't know why sapiens won out of Neanderthals, but there's two theories. Yeah. One is that we fucked them and then... Out of existence. And into us. Yeah. So we interbred. Right. And then we've got a bit of their DNA in us.

31:58Yeah. And Neanderthals, it should be said, were all in Europe and they'd evolved to adjust to the harsher conditions than sapiens had. Because sapiens are in East Africa. Yeah. Cradle alive. Yeah. And then Neanderthals are humans that are like, it's chilly. Yeah. So they were better at living in caves. Could you do it on a cold, wet night in Stoke? Yeah, basically. We were in the Britannia. But again, that's the thing. Like Stoke are a good, you know, you might be able to get into the fifth round of the FA Cup, but eventually you'll be found out. Because Man City are better at teamwork. So Neanderthals were doing long throw-ins.

32:39Star-analyzers in Neanderthals. Sean Dyche. and you might you'll get a couple of points you'll nick a couple of points here he is here he is here he is here's our producer what time are we on what time are we on Pete oh we've got a stopwatch going 30 minutes 30 minutes in go on go on just go on get behind the wheel come on cheers Pete we're talking about caveman appropriately enough you would have loved this episode yeah it's a shame it's a shame it's all over worst one to miss I know where you been asleep go on then Charlie what happened I set like I felt I set about 15 alarms right yeah um and none of them worked what do you mean what do you mean I'm worked did the alarm just fade into your dream I don't know what happened I was up to like I didn't sleep the night before I mean I was up to like three work it's fucked yeah I mean we just did our life live show in Bristol which was great thanks everyone coming out we all went for drinks afterwards Charlie this is like like 11 o 'clock yes yeah about yeah 11 p.m.

33:43in October, Charlie gets espresso martinis because he's going back to work. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. He works very hard, Charlie. He just doesn't work smart. No, he doesn't work smart. No, no. You can't say he doesn't work hard, but he really doesn't work smart. Work hard, not smart. It does work. It's a long-term strategy. Yeah, you're right. It's like he's biting down on the bit between his teeth and just putting his snout in the mud. Crazy. What have I missed then? Right, to get you up to speed, Charlie, we've, unfortunately for you, we've missed the dinosaurs we've gone we've plowed through that we are oh christ where are we we're in neanderthal we're about what we're between a hundred thousand and forty thousand years ago yeah right so what so what do they have names what do you mean like derrick it'll probably well i mean is the popular imagination of what we were just talking about how that the reason that sapiens win out over neanderthals is that neanderth sapiens can communicate sapiens are like cool they're like they're hanging out they're going to like they're hipsters they're hipsters they're it's just kind of like they're neurotypicals you know yeah they are that's that is basically it yeah is that um neanderthals are autistic very good at surviving house parties on their own yeah whereas neanderthals are sigma males aren't they they're lone wolves they're our listeners yeah you think it would make a difference if you're autistic as a caveman well i think people think that there's a some people have made i mean this is where fun science is coming in people made a link between autism and the neanderthal dna is that right i mean i've said a lot of bollocks but i don't mind saying some more you're not a swing at that one yeah i think people say like neanderthal if you have more neanderthal dna you're more um predestined to have more thick well maybe not even thick just more you know like to have autism yeah that's interesting yeah in certain settings yeah in certain settings you really thrive so but we need to get to the let's can we get to the that's true is it but if there's neanderthal dna in homosopians it means they must have been fucking so that's guaranteed right that shouldn't be read up for debate well they were definitely fucking yeah but the the reason this is this is quite contested stuff is that how genetically different are the three groups right because if they are what the racial scientists the scholars and racists would have said is that the different races that we see today all evolved out of different species of human that's quite that's quite politically incorrect it's quite fruity you might say to put it mildly and would fit a lot of racial theories that's not dinner party stuff now no some of my dinner parties that you get it used to be yeah very polite conversation at dinner party oh the women the women would go to bed and then would talk about racial science i'd love to take bring that back right women you go to bed It's 10 p.m.

36:30Me and the boys are going to get the brandy out and talk about skull sizes.

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37:38Sweet Greens Fall Harvest Menu is back with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels, and crave worthy flavors in the Autumn Harvest Bowl, Maple Glazed Salmon Plate, and Roasted Bacon Brussels Side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen, featuring Fall's best dressed. Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. Yeah. So Asians have Denisovan DNA. Right. So in the way that Europeans, or at least people, I think Africans don't have any Neanderthal DNA. Right. Which is, I guess, ironic, given that in the 19th century when they found the Neanderthal skull, they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's an African, 100%.

38:22Definitely, yeah. So that's actually not true. But actually, Neanderthals are the true Europeans. Does that mean that more Europeans have autism than Africans? Maybe. I mean, it kind of makes sense. Because I suppose African's not a very autistic culture, is it? No, it's not. It should be more autistic. Although, why are you gay? It's quite an autistic thing. The trains would run better if they had some autists. You're right. Exactly. I think we've solved African time. Yeah. Yeah? Go on, Charlie. Do you think you'd clock if you saw a Neanderthal in the street and like... I don't know. So the documentary I watched, they were like, if you put Neanderthal in a suit and like, you know, put him on London Bridge at 8am, he'd get a couple of looks, but no one, people are like, well, that guy looks a bit weird.

39:07But, we put you in a suit. But think about it, but you've seen people with crazy facial deformities in London, right? You've seen it. He's here. He's just behind the desk. But you know, it's polite society. What other option is there? What? Who are you? Well, it's like, I've got a toddler, so they're like, yeah obviously i mean yeah a toddler seeing a neanderthal in a lift do you ever do that yeah i remember being in a lift seeing my first disabled person this is me furious yeah i remember doing that with a dwarf in a hotel you're kind of shocked and livid what's going on here it's i've been lied to well i could end up looking like that i could end up just just my head gets bigger that's it um what's that mummy pointing yeah pointing it's that meme of leonardo dicaprio yeah right so there's two theories as to why uh the sapiens win out one is that they fuck all the neanderthals and they kind of absorbed into them uh which yeah but neanderthal found in the valley germany germany are very autistic culture so it does it does sort of yeah read And in fact, do you know what?

40:16Let's bring this up now. Go on. They found a bit of art from 30 ,000 years ago in Germany. Right. So this is Stone Age art from Germany. It's a woman and she is doing a Nazi salute. Caveman art in Germany. Blub! Right. Huckabuckabunit! Huckabuckabunit! Right, this is Venus of Glangenberg that's dated 36 ,000 years in Austria. Wow. that is extraordinary Austria yeah that's amazing it was predetermined that's amazing how fucking amazing is that the Germans have been the Austrians have been Nazis for 40 ,000 years a 40 ,000 year Reich a 40 ,000 year old Reich crazy who knows well maybe maybe you know not to get all Graham Hancock maybe there was an advanced civilization that we don't know about in the human story if you say you know you can't be trusted we have found a Austrian Nazi salute figurine yeah that's 40 ,000 years old.