Men: Talk To Your Mates (and then Behead them) | Feudal Japan (Part 1)

6 Oct 2025 · 59 min · 27 chapters

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In short

Feudal Japan (12th–19th c.), focusing on the Genpei War’s breakdown of centralized rule, samurai culture and Bushido, ritualized suicide (seppuku), the Mongol invasions repelled by “divine wind” (kamikaze), and the Sengoku era leading into Oda Nobunaga’s rise.

Key claims

seppuku is portrayed as a widespread, culturally enforced response to dishonor/loyalty failure; the Mongols were defeated twice by typhoons; Bushido values (honor, loyalty, courage, self-control, benevolence) made betrayal “more important than life”; and Oda Nobunaga unifies Japan by using firearms introduced via Portuguese contact.

Notable examples

mass seppuku of 870 relatives (Hojo episode); “divine wind” destroying Mongol fleets (1274, 1281); the Battle of Okehazama (1560) where Nobunaga defeats Imagawa Yoshimoto; and shudo (age-structured male-male mentorship/relationships) described as codified.

Guests

Horatio Gould (co-host/guest). Main host: Charlie (referred to as “Charlie,” running the show).

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

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Introduction to Mental Health in Samurai Culture

0:03 to 1:14

Exploring mental health issues within the samurai community and the role of masculinity.

“Unlimited group fitness classes from yoga and Pilates to strength and conditioning.”

The Fascination with Seppuku

2:20 to 4:48

Discussion on the prevalence and cultural significance of seppuku in feudal Japan.

“But I have to say that I absolutely love this.”

The Role of the Emperor in Feudal Japan

4:48 to 6:38

Analyzing the diminishing power of the emperor during feudal Japan's history.

“It's not like a, it's not just a trope or a stereotype.”

The Samurai as Knights

6:38 to 12:39

Understanding the samurai's evolution into a class of knights in Japan's feudal system.

“The first five minutes, their guts are on the table.”

The Samurai as Knights

12:45 to 14:02

Understanding the samurai's evolution into a class of knights in Japan's feudal system.

“So that your thick girlfriend can pick you up and get you in a car and drive you home.”

The Influence of Bank Holidays

14:02 to 14:28

Discussion on how bank holidays affect pricing and potential risks.

“But if you're a domestic terrorist, you could still do it on a bank holiday with a VPN with the savings you'd make?”

The Influence of Bank Holidays

15:04 to 15:30

Discussion on how bank holidays affect pricing and potential risks.

“You know how a mom's bag has everything?”

Mongol Invasions of Japan

15:46 to 16:54

Overview of the challenges faced by samurai during the Mongol invasions.

“They're completely unprepared for the Mongols, who are obviously devastating at this point.”

The Concept of Kamikaze

16:54 to 19:18

Discussion about the divine wind that protected Japan from invasions.

“You know, you've seen battle simulators.”

The Decline of the Emperor

19:18 to 21:34

Exploration of the political situation leading to the Sengoku period.

“You've got one of those swords you only put it in and it retracts.”
Show all 27 chapters

Bushido: The Samurai Code

21:34 to 23:49

Insights into the samurai code of honor and its cultural significance.

“It's much more like just the culture of Japan is a religion itself.”

Seppuku: The Act of Honor

23:49 to 28:00

A deep dive into the tradition of seppuku and its cultural implications.

“And this is before, I think this is very crucial, it's before Rennies.”

The Concept of Wakashudo

28:00 to 29:20

Explore the unique social practice of Wakashudo among Japanese samurai.

“And this is a fantastic, this is absolutely fantastic, socially sanctioned homosexual practice amongst the samurai classes.”

Brotherhood and Age-Structured Relationships

29:20 to 31:00

Discuss the formalized relationships between older samurai and younger Chigo.

“A typically older ninja who paired with a younger Chigo.”

Cultural Context of Samurai Relationships

31:00 to 32:40

Analyze the societal norms surrounding homosexual relationships among samurai.

“would teach the chigo martial skills warrior etiquette I know I do feel the Japanese words is giving this a lot more like a ritualistic sacredness than what it is.”

Influence of Isolation on Japanese Culture

32:40 to 34:20

Examine how Japan's isolation influenced its unique cultural practices.

“This is what happens when you don't have loads of other outside influences.”

Arrival of the Portuguese and Firearms

34:20 to 36:20

Learn about the impact of Portuguese arrival on Japan in the 16th century.

“Charlie, what have you brought up there?”

Arrival of the Portuguese and Firearms

38:01 to 38:25

Learn about the impact of Portuguese arrival on Japan in the 16th century.

“The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money.”

Odu Nobunaga: A Historical Figure

38:25 to 42:00

Discuss the life and impact of Odu Nobunaga on Japan's history.

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Nobunaga's Early Life and Family Dynamics

42:00 to 44:14

Explore the early challenges Nobunaga faced after his father's death and the internal conflicts within the Oda clan.

“You would be a bit, you would hate your parents.”

The Rise of Nobunaga

44:14 to 46:41

Learn about Nobunaga's ruthless ascent to power and his methods to eliminate rivals within his family.

“Yeah, the black picket fence is very different.”

Imagawa Yoshimoto's Threat

46:41 to 48:31

Understand the looming threat from Yoshimoto and the precarious situation Nobunaga found himself in.

“That's another easier way to understand it.”

The Battle of Okihazama: Setting the Stage

48:31 to 50:55

Discover the preparations and strategies leading up to the pivotal Battle of Okihazama.

“Again, Japan is rigidly cricket at this point.”

The Battle of Okihazama: Nobunaga's Triumph

50:55 to 56:01

Follow the dramatic events of the battle where Nobunaga defeats a much larger army and secures his power.

“No, we're not going to verify your age, Charlie.”

Nobunaga's Rise to Power

56:01 to 57:11

Learn about Nobunaga's ascent and the key battles that defined his legacy.

“So highly skilled that he works his way up.”

Teasing Future Episodes

57:11 to 57:30

Discover what topics will be explored in the next episode about feudal Japan.

“well the country is still not united but Nobunaga is on one we're going to talk about ninjas the Korean War not that one and there's even more suicide You won't believe it.”

Teasing Future Episodes

58:34 to 1:00:02

Discover what topics will be explored in the next episode about feudal Japan.

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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen Snacks A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that but for your money Shop, pay, manage your account and earn rewards all in one place And with purchase protection on eligible items biometric security and pass keys you're protected at every step Download the new PayPal app to get started See paypal.com slash protection terms Push your limits Train with precision See the results At Equinox, that's high-performance loving. Iconic spaces that inspire. Personal training backed by real data. Unlimited group fitness classes from yoga and Pilates to strength and conditioning.

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0:58Propel fitness water with Gatorade electrolytes. zero sugar and vitamins propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self what propels you propel with gatorade electrolytes i think the big problem with samurai today yeah is mental health definitely none of us talk anywhere near enough i completely agree we need to open up more you know the mental health toll amongst samurai it's a hidden illness really and do you know what i think actually the problem is masculinity. I'm sorry, I'll cut you off. No, no, no, you're a guest on my podcast.

1:37I come on your podcast and I'd cut you off. No, no, you're a guest, I can't possibly. I interrupted, I can't live with this disorder. I must kill myself. No you got it, you got it. I'm gonna kill myself. No, you cannot, no, it's my dishonor. I can't live with this dishonor. I can't live with this dishonor! I can't kill myself!

2:12welcome back to fin versus history i'm joined by horatio gould and today he's gone for it today accent fans rejoice here we go we're talking about feudal japan this is a one for the accent lovers out there fellow fellow ethnographers join me gather around it's going to be a fun one we've been walking our way through you know post-war britain with the least opportunity for accents and we're coming back with a big four-parter on feudal japan that noise i made there actually was a anime you don't really watch anime because you've got a mortgage and kids right yes yeah but uh one of my favorite things about anime is that is how loudly the like basic emotions are yeah it is thinking huh you know well that's the that's the equivalent it's the equivalent of british people just saying sorry for everything i want to i want to build that into normal life though if you ever think about something you go just every time i ask you a question

3:22yes but thank you for sticking with us through the the post-war british prime minister series near the end people were commenting that it's arguably getting a bit stale all of this now and you know what it was a experiment to sort of cleave off our fan base right some people were saying when we got to the end i can't believe you're stopping now you've just got to the good bit well fear not we have gone as far away as possible from heath wilson etc exactly we're in feudal japan right now feudal japan is um with it's sort of the 12th century to the 19th century 700 years and and i must say that i long long time listeners of this podcast will know that i i firm believe that the not all history is created equal right and that the medieval period is the preserve of autists and pedophiles.

4:08But I have to say that I absolutely love this. The preserve of pedophiles. Yes, it's like marmalade for nonsense. They're spreading this shit on their toast. Disgusting medieval nonsense. But I must say that I absolutely loved this. And I think I found a period of medieval history that I, as a straight man with a mortgage, can enjoy guilt-free. Now, yeah, I loved it too. But what is it? The sheer amount of suicide. It is amazing. It's phenomenal. Because obviously it's quite a racist trope, you know, just constantly committing sapouku. I don't think it is, actually. After doing research, they fucking loved it.

4:45They cannot get enough of killing themselves. They can't stop. It's not like a, it's not just a trope or a stereotype. They fucking. It's the leading cause of death for 700 years. They can't wait to kill themselves. And it's, it's. They keep sticking their head around the door is, have I dishonored myself? No, you haven't. It's the equivalent of you're in a pub, You spill someone else's drink and instead of offering to buy them a new one, you go, shall I kill myself? And then it's - No, I'll kill myself. No, no, no. Please, please allow me. And it's, it is insane. I enjoyed spending time in the research.

5:19And they're jealous when they hear someone else has killed themselves. They're like fucking, he managed to go out with such a fucking bang. He ripped, he cut his own guts out. God, I fucking wish I was in. He died doing what he loved. So this is when Japan, obviously Japan gets compared to Britain quite a lot with both island nations of similar size yes and we both got similar kind of weird social customs i guess grow from being an island nation right well maybe they push the englishness to a level you know the titanic is the ultimate british suicide this after you to death this makes me question whether i am in fact presbyterian and whether my mom's actually japanese yeah it makes us feel like italians exactly i'm like god we're such can't we keep our emotions in check for one minute us brits these guys are literally farting at the dinner table and then killing themselves it's crazy the amount of seppuku seppuku is a ritualised suicide that as we've said is sort of it's the air they breathe it's killing themselves and that's why I enjoy spending time in this research because you know I mean you have routines about it I have routines about it the current fetishisation of trauma porn and the Stephen Bartlett kind of depression industrial complex could not be further away from the attitudes to Imperial Japan Are you saying a samurai going on Diary of a Samurai?

6:33Yeah. It's not happening. Because you don't really get very far. No, you don't. The first five minutes, their guts are on the table. No, it's just Stephen Byerly interviewing a corpse. Yeah. So you struggle with depression. Okay, well, you solved that. Yeah. They love tea and suicide, the Japanese. Yeah, they do. Both two ceremonies, you know. so feudal japan really kicks off uh with the guenepay war right there's gonna be a lot of words and there's a lot of names that it's gonna be hard to pronounce but i don't want any fedoras in the comments going hum actually well you picked the wrong podcast because i must say that this is feudal japan this is fedora you know law this is have you if you watch love on the spectrum it's history for school shooters yeah it's you know the people who like this is history for people who own 3D printers.

7:22Yeah, villain origin story of every school shooting is this. Have you seen Love on the Spectrum? I have. You know, James is my favourite. James, the absolute goat, the guy with the kind of quite curly hair. He's my absolute... My favourite of that whole series is when he meets... There he is. What a fucking legend this guy is. I definitely am on the pod. When he meets his friends, you know, he's got... And then he goes to a sushi restaurant and he's the least autistic one. It's absolutely amazing. there's a guy in a full leather matrix uh yeah like tinted glasses and fedora and uh you know this is this is that period this is history for people who uh collect nunchucks yeah know how to use them yeah uh and it starts at the genepe war in the end of the 12th century which is a pivotal turning point as this is where centralized japan starts to break down yeah and um so it's been centralized yeah they've got an emperor they love an emperor but the emperor has been a kind of puppet the emperor's like a teapot right yeah it's like a ritual piece of china yeah that you the excitement in your eyes yeah i know flash before me just diving head of the back stick you couldn't believe i couldn't believe it just set up perfectly a beckon ball from the halfway way line how has he found this it's ban percy against against spain um no it's imperial piece of japan that's bread and butter stuff you've got me you've got me putting those away or you're not worth your salt you're getting subbed off if you're not putting that in the in the gulf anyway i can't remember what the fuck we're talking about well that the emperor is is a ritualistic thing almost yes yeah or is it at this point because it keeps changing right so they have an emperor and then it collapses yeah and then they bring it back right they're always bringing the emperor back but the emperor is a sort of it's like constitutional monarchy in the way that we have a sort of but even crazy because throughout this period the emperor loses all his money becomes completely irrelevant and basically has to beg uh daimios for money yeah and a daimio is like a lord the feudal system and it is quite a lot like medieval england set up it's all feudal lords fighting with you know it's the war of the roses but it's on speed yeah um so this yeah the guinepe war ends the sort of uh mark the transition to uh the regime military regimes local regime dominated by the war of the rices um not the war of the roses which is what i have after christmas dinner um uh desperate struggle for the best chockeys yeah your kids are trying to fight them off you and then i accidentally a orange one i have to kill myself um so a decisive moment in samurai culture now samurais are uh knights basically but obviously all our fans will have samurai swords they'll have katanas they'll have spent their lands inheritance on actual swords uh they'll become knights at this point samurai means to serve and it's kind of more of like uh it's more of like a a servant of a lord yeah it becomes it there's a contract to private protection.

10:34Because obviously the Western view of the samurai is sick as hell. Yeah. Right. Our view of the samurai is just like this fucking, this very exoticized view. What have you got up? This is the heaviest Japanese person ever. Wow. I'm surprised. I would go, I would think they'd be heaviest seeing as the... Is he a sumo wrestler? Yeah. He is. He's the heaviest sumo wrestler. Yeah. He's called Yamamoto Yama. What I like about sumo is that they've given the fatest people in the world like an honorable way to live you know yeah in america you got my 500 pound life yeah and there's a documentary following you try to get down the stairs yeah right but with these guys you're like sports stars and it just feels nice that you have like an option yeah it's like that's david beckham in japan yamamutai ryoto and like why aren't we doing that for like lizzo yeah do you know what i mean well why aren't we getting lizzo to fight rick wallow and yeah i guess that makes sense mcmanus mcmanus versus lizzo why are we not getting lizzo to sumo wrestle is a good question i think it's a perfectly legitimate question i think i think what get that flute out her mouth and get a nappy on it i don't get enough respect i'm only like an international pop star i'd i wish i was i was doing something more respectful like sumo wrestling that's my point sumo wrestling is the it's the height of japanese culture you know so are sumo wrestlers are they born are they born fat or are they I think they're bread like cows yeah like wagyu beef you know how it's sort of massaged to be like marbled so as in when a sumo wrestler is training are they just sort of piling on milk beef and milk and stuff yeah I mean I think it would be probably terrifying to see what a sumo wrestler eats 20 ,000 calories in a day they eat 10 times what a normal male eats it's a young Finn Taylor and it's done two massive meals wow yeah at my peak at my peak i was in a it wasn't a sumo camp in my head this episode of inverse history is brought to you by surf shark friends at surf shark they are our friends now if you're traveling are you being on your holidays anywhere nice say you're going to turkey to get your horrible hair and teeth done exactly uh and you want to whatsapp your thick girlfriend yeah if i'm there with a massive bandage on my head yeah and i want to be picked up by my thick stupid girlfriend and i'm like trying to use whatsapp you try to open whatsapp in turkey your phone explodes well there's nothing i can do that's where you're wrong really because surf shark if you use a vpn yeah you can use whatever apps you use in this country in turkey no matter what the turks do yeah yeah right boss man's trying to stop me whatsapp in you can waddle around him I don't think so.

13:24You drop the shoulder. Boss man flies out of the way. So that your thick girlfriend can pick you up and get you in a car and drive you home. I don't know why she's driven to Turkey, but she's thick. She doesn't realize planes exist. Speaking of planes, you can save money on flights and car rentals by hiding your location. That's a good trick, isn't it? So if you want to crash a plane into a building. For example. For example. And we're worried about, well, I'm going to die anyway. but that is a ridiculous price. That's extortionate. That is extortionate. I'm being ripped off here. But then again, why are you plotting to do this on a bank holiday?

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14:52Don't let online threats catch you off guard. Put a condom over your laptop. Keep your data safe. We'll see you next time. Very good, my friend. Very good. Very good, VPN. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. You know how a mom's bag has everything? Sunscreen? Snacks? A stapler? The new PayPal app is like that, but for your money. Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security, and pass keys, you're protected at every step. Download the new PayPal app to get started. See paypal.com slash protection terms.

15:30Push your limits, train with precision, see the results. At Equinox, that's high performance loving. Everything you need to lock in and unlock your potential at Equinox. Start today at equinox.com. Anyway. so yeah so the samurai are knights or they become knights but one of the founding one of the important things uh in the samurai legend is that the chinese invade japan in 12 no sorry the um the mongols invade japan kubla khan founder of the yuan dynasty in china yeah no because remember the mongol empire we did this it split into four sections and one of the the four sections was the huan dynasty huan yuan dynasty right so huan anyway the huan dynasty so the mong the mongols or the chinese it doesn't really matter it's the same thing at this point and still today if you're if you're me uh the the chinese mongols they invade japan in 1274 this is a big this is like the spanish armada sort of in the japanese yes yeah mentality this this is a really defining So 40 ,000 soldiers, they arrive, and the samurai are obviously, at this point, they're mainly like dance-off combat kind of thing.

16:45They're completely unprepared for the Mongols, who are obviously devastating at this point. Have you seen battle simulators? Do you ever watch those, where it's like 10 ,000 Chuck Norris's versus like 9 ,000 chickens and stuff like that? No, no. You know, you've seen battle simulators. Well, it feels like one of those, like having Mongols versus samurai, it feels like a sort of, you put it into a battle simulator. Yeah. So it's off. There's lots of YouTube videos recreating this because it's like, it feels like... Yeah, it's how autistic people sleep at night. Yeah. So the Japanese defenders are sort of struggling to resist.

17:16And then this, quote, divine wind, which is in Japanese, that means kamikaze. Yeah. Basically a typhoon just wrecks the entire fleet. Yeah. And this then... A lot of armada. Yeah. And the same thing happens again in 1281 where about 140 ,000 soldiers from the Mongols come over. And again, this massive wind, kamikaze, destroys them. And so the samurai now have this kind of... Sumo farted. Lizzo farts. And the Mongols can't deal with it. And then so they kind of feel like they're blessed by whatever god they believe in. Blah, blah, blah. And does that lead to the samurai being... Sorry, the kamikaze, that's the origins of the word, which then obviously is where we get the kamikaze pirates from.

18:03Anyway, so blah, blah, blah. The emperor then in the 14th century, his authority declines and this war breaks out between the emperor and one of the daimyo, the Hojo. And at some point, the emperor, or rather one of the forces sides of the emperor, and rather than fight the emperor, the Hojo response is that all of them get in a room, 870 of their extended family. Get the guys in. And they just all commit synchronised seppuku. Like, you know, you're in a gym and you see the old lady synchronised swimming. Imagine they're all just killing themselves. 870. Crazy. That's the second largest mass suicide in history.

18:51So wait, is it Heaven's Gate? is the largest. Oh, what, the Jonestown? Yeah. I guess, is it? Which we will do a patron on because that's awesome. That is awesome. I absolutely love. That's pure Wikipedia fare. That's one of the best Wikipedia scrolls. Yeah. Is the Heaven's Gate Massacre. 870. Imagine, extended family, just all in the house. Do you know what? I'd love that. At Christmas? Yeah, I'd love that. With your in-laws. With your in-laws. With my aunts, in-laws, cousins. And then what I do, I don't do it. Yeah, you don't do it. I'm waiting for everyone else. You've got one of those swords you only put it in and it retracts.

19:24Oh no, I haven't done it. And I'll just walk away. And I'd never have to be in a fucking WhatsApp group again. So they set it on fire at the same time as doing it. That's awesome. Yeah, brilliant. So then the emperor's technically back, but then he gets deposed again. And essentially, this just happens again and again and again. And we start to enter the Sengoku period. Right. So this is where the samurai really start to come into their own as like sick incel heroes. Yeah, because it was a unified Japan. Now it's collapsed into feudal warlords and every feudal warlord daimyos has to have an army of samurai to...

19:55It's just... It's a complete mess. So the samurai originally emerged from the bushy class. Right. I don't know if I'm saying that right. Bushy clad. Bushy clad. The bushy clad. Yes. Yeah. What's that? Kind of hairy fanny with blood on it, I guess.

20:13Say what you mean, Charlie. Enough with the innuendo, Charlie. I guess it's doing quite a lot of heavy lifting. It's a hairy fanny with blood on it. I guess. I guess you are guessing. Yeah. A bushy clad. Show me the bushy clad. Who on earth is asking for that? Is that rap Jamaican island culture in the 70s? Bushy clad. Yeah, it was briefly the bushy clad. Your wife got them bushy clad. You got tampons stuck in bushy clad. Amazing. 50 minutes into the Japanese episode, we've got Jamaica on. How have we got a Jamaican accent in? Greedy. Greedy. Greedy. Anyway, so the samurai's primary role is to serve and defend their...

20:56Daino. Daino. Daino. The lords, the magicians. Daino. And my best friend's my granddad. And so they basically become sort of vassals, warriors of the lord. And now their code, their code... So they're all the daino... I'm imagining all the dainos. The daino, the magician, impossible. That's what they all are. So no, those are the lords, and then the samurai are a bunch of hairy fanny tampons. anyway um so the samurai are bound by a code yeah and again as i'm saying this is what i like about feudal japan is that um there's rules there's very strict rules if you if you don't adhere to the rules you kill yourself and you're lucky to now the way of the warrior is called the bushido right so the samurai were uh defined by the bushido bushido a lot of chivalric code yeah and so the several core values of the Bushido honor, loyalty courage, self-control and benevolence and so betraying your lord loyalty was more important than your life yes that's it isn't it that's where all the seppuku comes from and I wonder whether the religious foundation for Japanese people Shinto, Buddhism I sounded like that woman in them uh shinto buddhism buddhism buddhism you're not a buddhist yeah i wonder if because they don't really they think they're gonna is it reincarnation or something so if you support yourself they don't even seem to talk about reincarnation no i guess they're buddhist elements but what's interesting about japan and sort of china is that it's not like islamic or christian countries where it's deeply deeply defined by one religion no it's like there's There's folk religions, there's Buddhism, but it's not like these huge wars of faith in the same way.

22:50It's much more like just the culture of Japan is a religion itself. Do you know what I mean? Pokemon. Yeah. That's people's religion. Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty. Come on. Hentai pornography, you know. Yeah. This is the long road to squid porn, we should say. How does a country end up thinking that's acceptable? But like, you know, England is within a European context, but japan is like because of the isolationism it's it's actual cultural identity is so strong that it doesn't need to define itself by religion in the same way i feel no but i'm wondering how how do you you know the seppuku being the the consequence of disloyalty how does a country think that that is okay or uh appropriate given from our perspective you know right well how do you get to that point yeah it must be because you have an attitude to life where life is is temporary what's that saying they go that suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem but they're like no other way around no suicide's a permanent problem permanent solution to a temporary problem yeah to the japanese it's a suicide therapy is the temporary solution to the permanent problem of being alive we must we haven't placed any of this and we should place this so this is the uh 16th century japan right where we'll start off sort of so this is um it's after the reformation in Europe.

24:16Yep. And this is before, I think this is very crucial, it's before Rennies. Right. Because if they had indigestion, they would just sepouca themselves. Oh, that's lovely. Oh, after a person was dead. You can get like a graph of the invention of Rennies and the amount of sepouca. I think it immediately declines. I think as Rennies come in. Oh, just had indigestion. Yeah, it turns out, wasn't dishonor. Well, you send the sepouca's to unreleased gas. Yes. that the rennies with otherwise yeah exactly I guess it's controlled seppuku a rennie right it is yeah it's an inside drop rennie it's like the hurt locker going in to you know defuse a bomb it's before Gaviscon it's before rennies this is how Japanese people are getting rid of trapped winds this is the pre-rennie period this is the pre-rennie period some people call it the Sengoku period we call it the pre-rennie period it's because the Japanese are struggling with trapped wind that's why they sound like that yeah

25:11there you go anyway um someone must have sepuked themselves and farted at the same time yeah so far so far too for the fuck sepuku sepuku sepuku yeah sepuku yeah from a young age in the what is it charlie is it um kind of like a moral high ground thing like no matter what you've done if you then kill yourself yeah the other person can't be in order of you basically less than reoconation i just think uh it's just having an honorable death it's it means that you can just put a great full stop to your life and it makes your whole life have meaning right exactly so you've done something wrong which could be you've walked into the house with the wrong shoes on yeah and you've gone i can't bear to live with that shame so what i will do is i will uh i will pass permission may commit suicide and if my lord grants me the honor of saying yes yes i will get down on my knees i'll wear a little white robe and i'll just gut myself like a fish and then they have this second person who's called the kalakalaka i don't know what it's called yeah but they write a little poem as well write a little death poem through an instagram post yeah peaky blinders snakes all of you you're all snakes and then they uh they get a short sword and they draw it across their belly and their guts spill out yeah and that's supposed to be like a then the other dinner guests arrive then they step over them step over them wrong shoes was it And then their mate chops their head off.

26:33Because if they don't chop their head off, it would take you up to 90 minutes to die from disemboweling yourself. Be a mate, would you? So that's how they do it at the start. And then they introduce a second bloke to kind of cut your head off. Because that's where the honour comes in. Mates don't let other mates sepuk you about chopping their heads off. Come on, mate. Chop your mate's head off. Don't keep it all inside. Yeah, it's not talk to your mates. Chop your mate's head off. Men, you need to disembowel yourself. The samurai are trained from a young age and the sword is called the katana.

27:12Best sword in the world. Yeah, and it's interesting, or it's not actually that interesting, but I was reading about why a samurai sword is so much better. They fold the steel over. Yeah, it's because they don't actually have that good iron in Japan. So they come up with this technique of folding the iron or the metal over and over and over again. so it becomes really strong through folding origami i don't fucking know yeah the origami steel they have those little things what are those called i don't know what they're called paper mache not paper no you fucking idiot what are they called the little things we fold the paper i said so confidently paper mache the little thing where you go you have uh you write like four little things fortune you know what you know what you know origami no we just said that you fucking

28:07it's where you you have you're at school you have the four things and a little quadrant carter and a cootie carter sorry phoebe's caught whatever charlie's got a cootie catcher it's not a cootie catcher they're not called that anymore you can't call gay people that anymore phoebe please our research is blatant homophobia cootie catchers of course both cootie catchers you just call us both gay he's writing cootie catcher on the screen oh god right anyway it's that thing isn't it whatever that is no it's not that it's not i didn't do it then i did lego yeah whatever it doesn't matter i don't know why we even came up with it the katana so uh the Samurai trained from a young age.

28:51And this is called the wakashudo. I sound like John Travolta there. The wickedly pounder. Wakashudo. And James Brown. Jinza McGinnity. Wakashudo. The way of the young. Or shudo. And this is a fantastic, this is absolutely fantastic, socially sanctioned homosexual practice amongst the samurai classes. I love this shit. Yeah, this is good stuff. Very Greek, this. Very Greek. Yeah. very victorian yeah very nambler very nambler one of our most controversial patron specials the angriest we found the line with most of our patrons when we did a whole episode of the north american man boy love association it wasn't historical enough that was the issue we did get drawn up child porn which probably was a line come on um now this is uh this is socially sanctioned homosexual relationships between a young uh samurai and his master or his or his uh mentor, I guess.

29:47A typically older ninja who paired with a younger Chigo. Chigo! And the man was permitted, if the boy agreed, or maybe not, to take the boy as his lover until the boy came of age. And then ruined. Where he would become ruined from a male perspective and he would get passed on to disgusting women. Yeah. So the relationship was formalised in a quote, brotherhood contract. I guess you could say that. My bro. and it was expected to be exclusive with both partners swearing to take no other brackets male love it so there's a lot of jealousy and like yeah commit this commitment right so it's a codified system of age structured homosexuality that's what shudo is and the older partner the the ninja not ninja will come to those ninjas aren't all nonsense otherwise i'd have to throw up my air fryer i've got a nonce air fryer i can't believe it anyway chucking your air fryer out the window such a funny they what they're nonsense imagine seeing your neighbour throw their air fryer in the black bin nonsense a lot of them fucking ridiculous it is ridiculous I can't believe I fell for it anyway the ninja would teach the chigo martial skills warrior etiquette I know I do feel the Japanese words is giving this a lot more like a ritualistic sacredness than what it is.

31:14Look, this is the key. If you name something, it doesn't seem as perverted. It's pedophilia. I don't know why this is... It's not pedophilia. It's a code of honour. If the boy agreed, brackets, or if he didn't. Now, the relationship was... This is how orientalised. This is amazing, ritualistic code. Who's a pedo? Is a guy in an Asda car park? It's not an Asda car park. it's an ancient code of honor yeah the relationship was mutually ennobling you know what's ennobling i've never heard the word ennobling does that make each other more noble yes exactly it's mutually beneficial i guess pedophilia is ennobling it's a noble the ninja would the ninja would be a good role model for his little chigo yeah right both parties are expected to be loyal until death and to assist the other in feudal duties and in honor driven obligations so sex between the couple was expected to end when the boy came of age the honorable thing to do honorable thing to do and if you had sex with that boy a day past his 18th birthday you would kill yourself yeah for being not being a peter sex with majors that's incredible isn't that amazing this is this is the culture we're discussing today if you have sex with someone who is of age yeah of the same gender as you you have to kill yourself to redeem yourself isn't Isn't that incredible?

32:30What a world. What a world. Take me back. Well, this is what's interesting about Japan being quite isolated. They come up with their own stuff without influence. What are they doing over there? Exactly. What's going on over there? This is what happens when you don't have loads of other outside influences. You're kind of like, well, I don't know. No one else told us this shit was weird. What? We're not meant to go. Oh, right. This is our culture. Well, I don't know. Yeah, we haven't really spoke to anyone for like 600 years. Yeah, exactly. If you leave them - What have you been doing that? Yeah.

32:58Yeah, pretty fruity. So sexual activity of the women was not barred. And once the boy came of age, they were sick to open to and find other male lovers. And the ninja, the older man, is the active penetrative partner. That's very important. Very important. And the younger Chigo would submit to... He'd get bummed up the arse. Yeah. I just thought, enough of this flowery language. Because, yes, the older had to be the penetrative partner. and it was basically not seen as gay if you were the penetrative part. And the adult men were not permitted to play the role of the Chigo. Yeah, that was seen as very weird.

33:35And again, playing the role of the Chigo is getting bummed up the arse. Yes, yeah. But it's a very nice way of saying it. Yeah. What are you doing tonight? I'm playing the role of the Chigo. I'm getting pegged. You've played the role of the Chigo, haven't you, Charlie? I have, yeah. Many times. Who's your ninja? Are we your ninjas? We can be. I think we are. We can be. I think we can be. um charlie's archigo only pre-adult boys are considered legitimate targets targets it's a moving target it's like clay pigeon shooting it is pull anyway um fuck bum so uh now we need to we need to get to we do the start of our narrative really so in the mid 16th century yeah um which is where this chaos really starts to kick off yeah is uh the portuguese arrive right they're shipwrecked and i don't know what they're where they're fucking going yeah i mean they've got a base in macau but this is portuguese golden age they're kind of like they lead the age of sales so this is the period the portuguese divide the world into two yes yes and the spanish get the new world yeah the west and portuguese get the east so that's which is a sort of um something that this podcast really supports dividing the world into two it's just It's like white people looking at a map and saying, well, you have that, I'll this.

34:58Charlie, what have you brought up there? I think this is Achigo getting... Yes, that is. That is. Now, that's quite a beautifully done ancient Japanese drawing. Isn't that incredible? That now blurs penetration. Wow! Look at his hog. Oh, my God. So, for those listening, I would switch to video now if you're on Spotify. Is this going to get taken down, or is it seen as historical art? This is historical art. This is a 16th century wood carving. Because I think with a lot of this stuff, whenever we're talking about like, I don't know, ancient paedophilia, it's all - Has he got his hand in his mouth?

35:34Yeah, look, to be honest, to be honest, because it's all like implied and there's a lot of youth business we've had around it. I think seeing that, where it's like, I don't know what I expected. Sorry, there's a head in the bin over there. That's like a Japanese cuck, but it's just a head. No, no, no. That's a 19 year old. He came of age. oh i see so he's ruined is that someone just going what's going on over there poking his head through a paper wall that's charlie on the internet anyway let's get rid of that print that's incredibly graphic that's crazy crazy anyway it's drawn so it's fine i guess now the portuguese arrive in the 1543 shipwrecked and they introduce christianity and firearms yeah and this is crucial because obviously there's been all this sword stuff yeah and it's chaos you know, there's no central authority, daimyos are fighting.

36:25But what will happen is that a man called Odu Nobunaga will use firearms to… Starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times. Your to-do list may feel endless with new tasks and lists can easily begin to overrun your life. So finding the right tool that not only helps you out, but simplifies everything as built-in business partner can be a game changer for millions of businesses that tool is shopify shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10 of all e-commerce in the u.s from household names like jim shark rare beauty and heinz to brands just getting started shopify has hundreds of ready-to-use templates that can help you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style and you can tackle all the important tasks in one place, from inventory to payments to analytics and more.

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38:56His advantage. Yeah. So we should start with Odin Obunaga. He's sort of like, I mean, historic figures for Japan. He'd probably be Henry VIII in the sense that maybe he doesn't have the life of Henry VIII. They live very different lives. But in the school system, he's like a defining... He's the one everyone learns about. Japanese History 101. Long road to the night-night bomb. Yeah. Nobunaga. Sort of Alexander the Great. Yeah, yeah. This is one of his famous quotes. Without destruction, there is no creation. There is no change. Fair enough. Now, what Nobunaga, his kind of genius, is that he takes a very stiflingly coded society and basically just fucking tears it all down.

39:39It does anything he wants. Similar to Genghis Khan, actually. Kind of, yeah. Where it's just like, well, if you're good, you're good. As opposed to everyone's following these strict rules. Yeah. And then he's like, you know. And he is seen as the first of three great unifiers who ultimately unified Japan by the early 70s. And what's the rhyme that all the kids learn in school? It's not a rhyme, but it's like, Odin Nobunaga got the rice. Can we get it up? What? You heard this. No. the three great I thought you were just making it up Nobunaga got the rice Hideyoshi got some fish and Ieyasu stuck it together sushi look at that fish bash bop fish bash bosh Yoshi's your uncle Nobunaga pounded the rice cake Hideyoshi kneaded it and Ieyasu ate it yeah so it's the three unifiers right yeah that was worth it that was not worth it Odoo Nobunaga is born on the 23rd of June 1534 in the Owari province which is central uh japan uh japan is several islands we haven't said that yet but but there's two massive ones right like yeah honchu there's north and south and then there's fucking they go all the way down to the philippines yeah and all the way up to like russia russia yeah bananas um anyway so his father was uh dynamo dynamo he's leader of the odor clan yeah and he was the eldest son or Odoo and he's the eldest legitimate son.

41:06Right. So he's got what? An older brother who's disabled? What's illegitimate? Oh, just oh right. Yeah, out of wedlock. That was a Freudian slip. Older people are illegitimate. The Odoo clan are warring with their neighbouring clans and blah blah blah. What we need to get to is his dad dies. So Nobunaga is basically like a little brat undisciplined and he doesn't really want to become leader. No one thinks he's going to have any, be historic in any way. No, because he's not sticking to the convention. He's like, he's a punk. Yeah. He's like, fuck you, man. Smoking weed, lazy. Fuck you, man. Fuck you.

41:44I won't do what you tell me. I won't do what you tell me. Fuck you. Fuck school. Yeah. He's listening to Japanese mind chemical romance. My chem. MCR. Yeah. He's like Johnny. Where are you? My name's Hotsari.

42:06Yeah, he's an emo. He's an emo. I mean, he's called Nobunaga. You would be a bit, you would hate your parents. Yeah. Well, because of the knob in your name. Nobunaga. Anyway, he's kind of like a punk. He's a rebel. Yeah. And the... A lout as well. He's a lout, right? So, he's a lout, he's a rebel. in april 1551 uh nobunaga's dad dies right uh without killing himself which is very dishonorable yeah it's suspicious yeah because weirdly in my head the fact that he hasn't killed himself i am already disrespecting him like i'm already been come into this culture i can see how it grows i'm like this guy died of natural causes yeah what the fuck what's going on here it's very rude yeah what a cunt yeah yeah exactly but that's now spending time in this research i'm now thinking about famous suicides and going oh maybe they were just maybe mark spate had done something terrible very yeah or just it's an honorable way out yeah yeah uh nobunaga's father dies this divides the clan uh and the you know the who's the most suitable successor is thrown into question now nobunaga is uh on paper the legitimate heir yeah but because he's like listening to mcr he's spoiled and he's wearing my eyeshadow yeah um uh he like dresses inappropriately and at the funeral he's not dressed right he's pissed he throws incense at the altar fuck you dad and this made people side with the younger brother Nobuyuki yeah Oda Nobuyuki they're all called Oda yeah it's the other way around first second names yeah it's upside down yeah first names second names suicide is honourable age of consent the other way age of consent the other way around yeah

43:53so the older one who's illegitimate he may be disabled I may be making that up we don't know we can't know we can't know we don't have time to know so he makes a bid for the leadership people don't support his claim blah blah blah at some point Nobunaga I don't know he kills his brother and his uncle chops the heads off because he knows that the claim to the throne got rid so he's already showing a pretty ruthless streak in the 1550s killed his brother and uncle done uh he then forgave his brother that's easy to say the one he hasn't killed the one he hasn't killed yeah um because his i forgive you well i mean does that mean you just chopped my head off so nobuyuki is still plotting against uh nobunaga um and then eventually nobunaga just has him assassinated yeah so he's like i forgive you he's i'll promise not to plot again so he goes to plotting then he kills him right so uh by 15 the late 1550s nobunaga it's the 50s you know it's it's the american dream picket fence you know your neighbors um segregation uh anyway yeah um i always love how that's just left out the 50s dream segregation white picket fence people talk to their neighbors obviously black people or anywhere near where you live.

45:17Yeah, the black picket fence is very different. Very different. Don't cross the picket. Anyway, it's the 50s, and Nobunaga has taken control of his family clan. Now, just over the border, there is another clan, another powerful dynamo called Imagawa Yoshimoto. Yoshimoto is a good name. Yoshimoto. And also, it's very hard because I was obviously, you know, I was a kid in the 90s, so Nintendo was a major part of my upbringing and so all of these sound like Mario Kart characters. Yoshi. Yoshi, Yoshi. Woohoo! Yeah. He's aided... Well, that's how Japanese culture has changed. It's gone from being samurai warring to like making Nintendo games.

46:04Well, that's the night-night bomb, isn't it? It's just a hard reset. You drop an atomic bomb on a culture and their medieval brutality becomes... Yahoo!

46:18But it's easy maybe to imagine Oda Nobunaga in this period as basically one long star mode. Yeah, yeah. So he's running around Japan on a little cart. And he will meet his comeuppance. He will sip on a banana, Peter. He will sip on a banana and just go into the abyss. But anyway. And then, you know, the other two unifiers are behind him and that's how they win. That's another easier way to understand it. if you're tuning out because of the language barriers, just imagine a Mario Kart race. So, Imagawa Yoshimoto, he's a powerful daimyo, and he is aided by the Matsudaira, the Matsudaira, who's a longstanding enemy of the Oda family.

47:01And Yoshimoto has assembled an army of 25 ,000 men to march on Kyoto, which is the capital at this point, I should stress. Tokyo is not really a thing. Right. At this point, it's called Edo. Yeah. Edo. Edo. which of course Ido is a good thing yeah Ido Idophilia oh thanks mate Ido no you should have said that oh thanks oh that's nice cheers do you know what I feel so good so good I might kill myself it's upside down um anyway so Yoshimoto whose whose family his his region borders Nobunaga's right and he he wants to march on Kyoto to make a bid for power and he has to It's Burnham Andy Burnham It is Andy Burnham yeah It's the king of the north and he has to go through Nobunaga's territory to get to Kyoto Right Now on the way to Kyoto he enters Owari province which is Nobunaga's and they're capturing castles and they're plundering Yeah and they seize the strongest of the fortresses and they try to respond but they're a fraction of the size so there's about 5 ,000 men that Nobunaga has at his disposal.

48:14The odds are stacked against our boy. Exactly. So a head-on attack is suicide. Which they would love. Which is a great thing. So that's actually incorrect. A head-on attack would be to die naturally. Yeah, yeah. So there's only one thing, one way of doing this. And again, this is not the dumb thing. This isn't cricket. Yeah. Again, Japan is rigidly cricket at this point. Yes, yeah. There's ways of doing things. Yeah. Nobunaga. He's listening to Mike M. Fuck you, man. I won't do what you tell me. Yeah, yeah. I sound quite Mexican. I apologize. Yeah.

48:54So this is one of the great, the legend of Nobunaga really starts here. The Battle of Okihazama. Here he is. This is, yeah, this is when it's, yeah. This is when Nobunaga appears. It's like a legend. Oi, oi. Oi. Oi, oi. He is. The man himself. The big guy. Who wants two beers? This guy. What a fucking legend. Yeah. So this is June 1560. Yoshimoto and his army set up camp at the foot of Mount Okihizama. Classic. Now, on the day they attacked Yoshimoto's boys, they're celebrating. Because they've had little victories here and there. They're doing a head inspection ceremony. You heard of this? Well, I'm suggesting we do that for our guests, right?

49:36No, this is not phrenology. oh right sorry okay um it's not that charlie thank you for the mime it's not it's not inspecting how good they are at giving head no they cut off it's like goldilocks no too teethy oh that's just right it's not so gummy i can't feel anything but it's not so teethy that i'm in pain that's just perfect that goldie cox it's not bad it's not it's good stuff There's something there. That's good stuff. There's something there. You work it out. The three bears. The bears are the gay men. I mean, there's a good porno in there. You're saying it's the bears are the gay men. Old gay men.

50:17Hairy men. So Goldy Cox is Charlie. Walks into a house. I mean, it's a gay porn premise. That's pretty fucking watertight. Guys, we're just shitting out gay porn porn on this podcast. Why is no one making Goldy Cox and the three bears? We're printing money. We're printing money. Charlie, that must be a porn. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Gold Locks and the three bears. Or he stud markers rivers. takes three cocks in perv taboo stepfamily gangbang. Why have you searched gay porn? Because it has to be. They're bears. Oh, you're right. Okay, I guess it's already been done. Fair enough. Yeah, it has been done. Nothing original under the sun.

50:52No, I mean, every idea is been done. I've got no new ideas. Can you have a bang on this? No, no, I'm right, Charlie. No, we're not going to verify your age, Charlie. Let's not do that. Christ. So, a head inspection ceremony. What this actually is is that you chopped off all your heads as your enemies and then they basically if anyone's seen the series Shogun which I've been watching and it's fantastic it's sort of like it comes in like a little bamboo steamer wrapped in some cloth what like a Baobun it basically is a Baobun but it's your enemy's head and you unwrap it and then you just lift the lid and it's just like but they've got they've had makeup put on they've had their hair done you know right it's a big day for them they just commit yeah so they're inspecting their heads and I guess this is to sort of go oh yeah that's that was that guy I killed him he was great or whatever I don't know so it's a ceremony it's ritualized again everything is ritualized so they're just he's looking at the heads of the people that he's cut off he's loving it he's loving it so it's night time at the camp now you don't attack at night yeah that's not cricket that's not cricket yeah that's like fucking a boy over 18 exactly it's not the done thing it's immoral but Nobunaga he doesn't care no He doesn't care how old you are.

52:08He's going to have sex with you. Yeah. The first non-pedo man in Japan. Nobunaga. That's right, isn't it?

52:17So, he goes to great lengths to make the Yoshimoto clan think he's in a different location. Even though he doesn't have that many men. So he's got to have to be very... He's got hardly any men. Yeah. So he sends a few of them up to like another... And they're all like, oh, there's loads of us. It's basically just tapping. Look over there. Look at this. Oh! And they've got loads of flags. There's like four guys going like, Yeah, there's so many of us here. There's a lot of fog. There's a big storm. It's rainy. And as the downpour ends, Nobunaga and his boys, they charge into the camp and they attack.

52:50Now, originally, bear in mind, they're all sat on chairs looking at heads. They think it's like a drunken brawl that erupted from their soldiers. But by the time they'd realized what was happening, it was too late because Nobunaga's in there and they're chopping off. And I mean, it'd be a good time to do a bit of a soundscape. Yeah.

53:12Who's that? Just one guy's having a great time. One guy. Well, do you reckon that's a speech impediment in Japan? Rather than...

53:26So it's like when you're thinking about a question. I mean, some animes, that's how women in animes, is when they're considering something, they go, because men go, instead of a stutter, which is humiliating, it's, so it's four guys who go, and then one guy's like, yeah, he's got a speech impediment. It's got a lisp. I was also thinking this, what's bad handwriting look like in Japan? Because Japanese handwriting is incredibly all day. And you have to be. But not everyone can be that good at handwriting. Yeah, I mean, I guess that's pretty bad. That looks pretty bad. That's how I'd write Japanese.

54:05Just some smiley faces. Yeah. It's a funny thing to write quickly. If you had to write a message really quickly, just having to draw the little boxes. But again, we should say that this is the Chinese script that they take in the first millennium and they make their own version of it. Because what Japan is amazing at doing is taking... They're never colonised. They take things from the outside world and make it Japanese. Even when they're isolationist, when they come back in the 1800s, they send a guy just to take all the best ideas. And they take all the stuff and they make it. They've done that with America post-war.

54:37With watches, bikes, whatever. They make it their own thing. But anyway, so back to Okihazama. The soldiers of Yoshimoto's clan are fleeing for their lives and then Nobunaga samurai go and actually kill Yoshimoto himself. Right. At this battle, he meets the two other unifiers. Okay. In that Tokugawa Ieyasu, who's the guy who eats the rice cake from your famous rhyme. Yeah. He is fighting for Yoshimoto but switches sides. Right. And Hideyoshi, he's like a, so if you were in the Japanese army, you had samurai who were like, they were elite knights but then you had the middle class. You'd get the working class people in.

55:23Yeah. And they're called like foot soldiers. Yeah, the foot soldiers. And they only started Ashigaru or something. They only started being viewed as a military force in this period because no one fighting was a bit more ritualistic and now he properly uses foot soldiers. He probably trains them and crucially, he gives them guns. Oh yeah. Which, I mean... That's a brilliant idea. It's a great idea. Because his dad's there like... And he's like, fuck you dad. Yeah. He's got these Portuguese arquebusters. Yeah. Arquebus? Arquebusier. Arquebus. Hideyoshi comes into the army as a Shigaru, like the lowest of the low.

56:00Yes, foot soldier. So highly skilled that he works his way up. Now, this is a society where social mobility doesn't really exist, which we'll get to in a later episode. So his rise will be amazing, Hideyoshi. But anyway, at the end of the battle, it's not cricket, but Nobunaga wins. Sure. He returns triumphant to Kiyosu Castle and takes Yoshimoto's head for display. Right. And so prior to this battle, there was a real chance that the Iwari province would fall completely to the Yoshimoto. But somehow, with the odds stacked against him, he is now the most powerful and feared warlord in central Japan.

56:42And so other day, Dainamos pledged their allegiance to Nobunaga. He ate that shit up and left no crumbs. He ate that shit up. Yeah. And so Tokugawa Ieyasu, who was the leader of the Matsudaira clan who had been fighting with Yoshimoto he switches allegiance and becomes one of the three unifiers that's Nobunaga's rise so we're going to leave that episode here Nobunaga is in charge what could possibly go wrong? well the country is still not united but Nobunaga is on one we're going to talk about ninjas the Korean War not that one

57:24and there's even more suicide You won't believe it. If you'd like that episode now, it's already on our Patreon where we recently hit 20 ,000 members. Look at that. Unbelievable. 20 ,000 members and not one bar of soap between them. It really is. I mean, that's a feudal army, right? It is. They've all got swords. They've all got katanas. They've all got katanas and they've got full armor and shooting stars. I think, I know we're not... They've all got samurai outfit and glasses. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's really thick glasses. And yeah, if there was some kind of Patreon war, we'd have a good chance, I think.

58:05Just with the quality of the authentic katanas. Yeah, yeah. They would all kill themselves, though. The minute that we don't put an episode out, they all kill themselves out with dishonor. Anyway, if you'd like to join our army of smelly, mentally handicapped boys, it's just£3 a month, and you get access to the next episode ad-free. a treasure trove of bonus episodes as well. If not, no worries. We will see you next time for more adventures in feudal Japan. Goodbye. Goodbye.

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From the publisher

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Part 1: Accent fans, rejoice: we’re in feudal Japan, which it turns out was Upside Down land.

The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened. 

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00:00 Accent Fans Rejoice

06:50 Emperor Teapot

13:47 Mongol Invasions

16:05 Synchronised Seppuku

17:38 Incel Heroes

23:34 Real Mates Chop Their Mate's Head Off

26:52 Wakashudō

34:35 One Long Star Mode

41:07 Goldicocks and the Three Bears

47:24 Nobunaga’s in Charge
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