Neigh Their Neighm | Napoleon Invades Russia (Part 7/10)

0:09welcome back to fin versus history uh horatio gould is here and it's time folks to get into operation for fuck's sake it's time to get in to we're about to invade Russia we're about to invade Russia so by the way Charlie has got this bad habit that's starting to piss me off because it's so clearly ingenuine but he sends me voice notes after records right he sends this all does he do this to you he sends me sincere messages actually he started sending me go on by the way mate I just wanted to say you were fucking electric today genuinely um you know this job's a lot of pressure and easy but we're working with people like you uh it's what kind of gets you today so i want you to know it's a privilege and i'm always here if you want to talk you said most records i was here if you want to talk he in between records whether the episode was good whether it was bad whether i was good he would say you were fucking electric today mate do you know what he said what did you send me yesterday on instagram you told me you sent me a video of a poet reading out his poetry and how did I reply?

1:16One word? Rapist. Yeah. So, we are in 1807. Okay. Napoleon is at the height of his powers. I can imagine you in Napoleon's army being like, Napoleon, mate, today, you were a fucking electric. You were electric. You were also, after Astrid, mate, you were. Astrid, that was up there, mate. That was fucking amazing. We all saw it. We all saw it. But you'd also be like that after the Battle of Leipzig or Waterloo. You'd be like, you're electric. You were brilliant today, mate. And he's on an island in the middle of the sea. You were amazing today. You're electric, mate. So we're in 1807. Okay. Now, to recap, Napoleon is cooking on gas.

2:00He has smoked the Austrian and Russians at Austerlitz. Okay. His sperm is working fine, actually. Thank you, Josephine. It's your womb that's fucked. You're the problem. Yeah. However, he's had to invade Spain with his troops. Portugal have been ignoring his request to not trade with Britain. So he's being Eiffel Towered, to use the phrase of. Stop fucking bringing it up. Research won't stop bringing it up. By the Peninsular War and by Russia and the East. Austria and Prussia and all that stuff. But instead, at the moment, he is managing to defend against the Eiffel Tower by wanking them both off simultaneously.

2:40At the moment, it is quite seamless, which is a very hard thing to do. It's basically still maintain, you know, wanking off on both fronts. Yes, it is very hard. They are skilled women. At the moment, he's doing a good job. Now, Sir John Moore has had his chest blown out by a cannonball, but he's actually fine. Thank you. He's fine. I don't need to bother about it. Put some more stuff in there. Just fire another one at me. I reckon I can take it. The British have successfully evacuated Spain. we've left Wellington in Portugal for the night while we go out and dine out on Russian tapas so what's been happening in mainland Europe while the peninsular war is kicking off now in February 1807 we get to the battle of Ilau Ilau brother Ilau da Ilau da brother the battle of Ilau Ilau da now this is in modern day Poland in the winter of 1807 this is just before the Peninsular War has kicked off so it ends in a big standoff with the Russians at Eilau and snowstorms are blinding artillery and it means tragically the French fire directly into their own troops.

3:57Right, auto-erotic artillery. Artillery. It's a dangerous game that and so it's a French victory, it doesn't feel that one because they've literally shot themselves with cannons So Napoleon is quite shaken. So he spends hours riding among his own corpses. An officer recalls he seemed old the next morning. Okay. Which is a bit of an understatement. So he's an empath. 50 ,000 dead. 25 ,000 French. A slaughterhouse. Is this one of the... So it's kind of the equal casualties, but the French have made better ground. It's called long-term goals. Right. And he's an artillery officer. That's what he was originally.

4:33So I think this is extra painful. Right. Because that's the first rule of artillery officer. Don't shoot your own men. So now in 18... But first do no harm. But first don't shoot your own men. That's what the artillery officers say. Now in 1807, there is the Treaty of Tilsit. Oh God, yeah. Now, Tilsit on my face. Fuck you. Napoleon... Bill, sit on my face. now Napoleon meets his Russian counterpart Sir Alexander I in East Prussia okay neither sovereign is willing to step onto the other one's territory so the French carpenters build a massive raft to anchor it in the center of a river and it's kind of like a neutral DMZ right but a kind of bromance leave me halfway light up the borderline where I'm gonna stay for you that's what this song's about I'm 36 I don't know what that song is You know that song.

5:28Yeah. What is it, Phoebs? What is the song? Meet me halfway Right on the border That's where I'm gonna wait For you I'll be walking out Night and day Yeah, Black Eyed Peas. Put my heart on the limit And this is where

5:47Tom Jones. What a singer. What a man. You're touching grass. Touching Jones. That's my mental health. That's my mental health safe place. now napoleon is bewitched by this young handsome czar alexander the first right and he writes to josephine if he were a woman i think i'd make him my mistress right i think i'd do a lot of damage yeah uh it doesn't say that last bit there's a homoerotic side to it well totally now is napoleon fat at this point when does he get fat i think he's getting quite chubby yes because the the napoleonic paunch yeah the silhouette of napoleon is always quite fat yeah but it's not fat it's more like portly because the the tailoring of the time you know the jacket's quite high up and then it just reveals the belly it's almost like the belly is the feature of the the cloth is cut to reveal the belly yes almost the paunch is graceful yes it is it implies wisdom implies wealth yeah health high breaches yeah small paunch okay hands hands behind the he's on his way to being his fattest yes at this point um he's he will be fattest in 1818 thank you phoebe is portly the mirror image of fat with a p portly paug he's a portly ass white guy you you have to ignore him you have to learn to ignore him so just let them out as if so russia becomes france's ally as a result of till set on my face okay and this the prussia loses half its territory and now most of continental europe answers directly to napoleon yep so it's in the aftermath of till sit that arguably he's at the zenith of his power okay until it's after the standoff of the russians where he blew up most of his own men yes but that did lead them to come to the table and this is just before the peninsula war so here is where so russia they've they've started there's a bromance to sexual tension and he's agreed you can now turn your ass to me napoleon and i won't fuck it wink wink wink yeah yeah yeah and apparently it's like yeah no i won't fuck it yeah i won't enjoy it if you don't enjoy if you do i wouldn't like i wouldn't love that so um to celebrate the treaty of Tilsit.

7:48Napoleon's Duke of Staff organises a rabbit hunt. Now, it should be said, this is the time in Portugal, Wellington, such an arch-conservative that he organised fox hunts. He imported fox hounds from Britain to have fox hunts during battles. That's incredible. During battles. During battles. I'm bored by this. Release the foxes. He's someone who doesn't seem to have a homerotic side to his life. No. There doesn't seem to be any of that. That gate is shut. Has there ever been a straighter man from the Duke of Wellington? Look at that. Look at that man. huge nose, old nosy. Long face. Long face. Yeah.

8:22I mean, that's such an evocative painting we're looking at now. Yeah. You really get the disdain. He disdains me for looking at him. He speaks about his army the way you speak about... My fans. Scum of the earth. Absolute scum of the earth. Anyway. Scum of the earth. So, thousands of domesticated rabbits are purchased to ensure a high body count for Napoleon. Do you have a high body count? Not of rabbits. Okay. My girlfriends have a high body count of rabbits. Yeah. Because I can't satisfy them, so they buy a lot of rampant rabbits. So these rabbits were farm-raised, it turns out, and so they associated humans with food.

9:03Right. So when they were released, they all charged at Napoleon, thousands of them, and then Napoleon generals whipped and shot the stampede, but the animals were relentless. So he basically gets fucking mauled by rabbits, looking for carrots. No, he didn't die. That's not the end of the Napoleon story, Charlie.

9:23Yeah, and then he died. Yeah, then that's the end of the series. See you guys next week. Episode seven, that's the end of the series. Yeah. Napoleon dies after thousands of domesticated rabbits charge him. Fucking idiot. So, in 1809, the height of his power, Napoleon decides to divorce old black mouth Josephine right 13 years of marriage it's a true love though this is something that you have to give to the pony and Josephine it's quite an interesting love story for a man who's so power hungry and has kind of conquered it all Josephine it she's remains kind of a constant and even after their divorce it's clearly he still has the she's got she's got a black mouth I mean where do you find that again do you know what I mean if you're into that and he's looking all over he's looking for it yeah you know if you it's like she's got rotten gums yeah the smell she'll kiss the taste of her lips will be completely different to anyone else listeners my book is out now the history of mankind in its entirety abridged it may be a bestseller we don't know I'm sure it will he's going to eat Gillian Anderson for breakfast Gillian Anderson who's written a book of anonymous women's sex confessions right has been up against this for Sunday Times bestseller it is a referendum on the soul of the country okay you know who you should vote for vote for this guy he's not taking any shit yeah Do you think this guy's listening to women's anonymous sexual confessions?

10:43Yeah. Fuck is he? Go away. I don't want to know. Whatever you do is disgusting. I don't want to be part of it. Yeah. If you like the pod, you'll love the book fundamentally. Fundamentally. And I know what you're thinking. I can't read. That's where audiobooks come in. Yeah. Audiobooks are one of this century's great inventions. You know, they've made books more accessible for people who are too thick to read. Yeah. You can get it from all good bookshops and the shit ones that are run by pedos. all available bookshops and audio retail stores. I read the audio book in case anyone's been like, oh, is it you?

11:15Yeah, of course it's me. It is, it'll be. History of mankind in its entirety, abridged. Available now. Visible puts unlimited 5G data and hotspot in the palm of your hand. Powered by Verizon's 5G network, with no contract holding you back. And for a limited time, you can get Visible for just$19 a month for 12 months when you use promo code SAVE6. All the features of big wireless service for half the cost. Tap the banner to switch today. Terms apply. Standard rate applies at month 13. See visible.com for plan features and network management details. In 1991, two hikers in the Alps found a body melting in the ice.

11:53They assumed a fallen climber. What they'd actually found was a 5 ,000-year-old murder victim. Welcome to Buried Evidence. Join archaeologist Professor Raksha Dave and me, historian Rebecca Radil, as we dig up some fascinating true crime through history. Launching on Friday the 4th of September, you can find Buried Evidence wherever you watch or listen to your podcasts. Subscribe at thecrimedesk.com and get episodes a week before anyone else. After 13 years of marriage, however, she had failed to produce an heir. And because he's an emperor, he's essentially a king. And he's proven that it's not his problem because he's had a baby with an 18-year-old because he's fucking cool.

12:30He's a legend. He's a legend. so um she they separate as an emotional ceremony in 1809 josephine's it's a strange one because she she never seems to like him and yet she seems to like the life that yeah it's like lifestyle yeah yeah it's a classic feminine tale isn't it you don't like me but you like all the stuff i give you let that one sit you'll get there you'll get there soon enough surprised you're not already there actually. Anyway, so Josephine keeps the title of Empress Queen and she receives a yearly allowance of two. Empress Queen. Empress Queen. Empress Queen and she receives a yearly allowance of two million francs from the state.

13:13It's a lot. It's a lot of money. Now, Napoleon. Well, it's not two million francs from the state. That must be. I don't know how, what the francs. That franc will be worth for. Right, fine. So, in her absence, Napoleon, still horny of course he's French he meets a girl called Marie Louise the Duchess of Parma now she was born in 1791 nice yeah interesting to look at that's a googly of a face that is I don't know if it's ugly or not I can't tell what's coming at me but I like it, I'm confused I'm disarmed she looks lovely, look at her she does look nice I like the kind of baddies who have the eyes really far apart I think it kind of it can go so far apart that it becomes very attractive again Hamhead Shark yeah Hamhead Shark yeah baddies so her childhood is filled with stories portraying Napoleon as a monster okay so the Kors Kanoga the Antichrist she was like I like the sound it's like a big it's like women who are into Shrek porn I think I can fix him I can fix that guy the Antichrist yeah as a girl she built a really ugly toy soldier named him Napoleon Bonaparte and spent afternoons brutally torturing it.

14:28Yeah, by shoving up his fanny a fanny. Sorry. Not much back lift on that. You didn't go at me for that. We were talking about it. You went, yeah, bro, shut me up on a fucking fanny. Sorry. Part seven. Yeah, I bet you shut up on a fucking fanny. It wasn't the wittiest one. It was a bit of a, we got sort of hoofed it there. Yeah, it's Operation Baghetto Rosser and you shoved that up on a fanny. It wasn't nice. Baghetto Rosser, there's something there. Fucking absolutely hoofing through. So, um. Baghetto Rosser was a miskick. This was a hoof. there's a difference yeah agricultural that so uh the wedding takes place in 1810 uh which now you'd say that's the height of his um power if it weren't for the uh domestically yeah but also like he's got the most people under his control but the peninsular war is dragging on yeah so anyway the wedding happens in 1810 he's 40 years old and she is 18 swing a wee.

15:21That's a French a wee. However, this is awesome. It's a proxy wedding because he's too busy, so he sends someone to say I do for him. Awesome. Sort of Iran doing October 7th via Hamas? Yeah, I guess it is. You know, using your proxies. If you have proxies, you have to use them. You can't keep a proxy, it's just fucking idling. I'm going to get Hamas to marry my wife for me. Yeah, I'm going to get my patrons to do it. Am I a proxy for you? no what am i what do you mean what am i what am i to you he's just a producer that's really bad at his job yeah and eats fish cakes but yeah i've never heard ever in history someone who's gets gets like his secretary to yeah can you get married to a like it's admin it's awesome yeah i mean that's i guess because i can understand like getting like a legal wedding may be done via like some letters but having her stand at the altar without you there is hilarious i mean i mean humiliating for her you know because her family will be there yeah you know her dad will walk down the aisle and be like fuck you is the first dance just like a solo no i think he has to he has to dance there and he has to fuck her in the night right okay um napoleon remarked that despite her quick infatuation with him quote it is a womb that i am marrying yeah he really i like this guy he says it like it is yeah uh that's all that i mean that's that's crazy yeah that's basically So I suppose a 19th century equivalent of saying you're just a flashlight with a mouth.

16:50How do you imagine the womb? To me, it's like a kind of purple cave in a good way. So the consummation.

17:01The consummation of the wedding. Napoleon takes his new wife straight to the bedchamber upon meeting. He hasn't met her yet. Yeah. So a proxy is married for him. Right. Brilliant. that's done I can just get to the good bit can you fuck her for me oh no I'm gonna leave okay I'll do this bit I'll do this bit I'll take the wheel come on do you want me to fuck it for you love the next he wakes up after the running night thrilled saying quote my friend Maria German I don't know my friend my friend Maria German they are the best women in the world sweet good innocent and fresh as roses yeah That's a man who's just slept with a teenager.

17:45Yeah, it could be. It's not German, but it's marrying 18-year-olds. That's a divorced man who's just gone to Southeast Asia. This is fucking brilliant. I feel alive again. You know what I mean? I was so worn down by having a fat wife for ages, and now I'm just freed from it. And God, they're brilliant here. Anyway. And they all really like me. I'm really funny. I'm funny. I'm funny. They don't speak English. They think I'm funny. You know? And yeah, I'm buying them dinner, but that's not why they're with me. They're with me because of my sense of humor. and my dress sense. My dry wit. Yeah, yes, I've got my regular room at the Hilton, but it's my wit that I'm with you for.

18:19No, she's not stealing from me. Now, 1811, 1812, the first French empire reaches its max territorial extent. Okay, 90 million subjects. This is the EU SSR. Yeah. Right? Controls pretty much all of continental Europe, bar you'd say Sweden, and then maybe southern Italy. I don't know. So how does this compare to Hitler at his biggest extent? At his biggest extent. Comparing Napoleon to Hitler. So I mean, I imagine you'd have to go Hitler halfway through Barbarossa. The height of Hitler is... Is it Hitler on the eve of Stalingrad? No, no. On the eve of Stalingrad. Mid 42, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's got...

19:04Let's compare on ChatGVT, the height of Napoleon's head by compared to the height of Hitler's place. Come on. He's back in the game. Baguette Ross is in the bin. Now he's coming up with some great ideas. Compare Hitler's height with Napoleon's height in map form. In map form. I want to see it. Now, the problem is that Spain is out of the picture for Hitler because of the Spanish Civil War. But it's still sort of a proxy. It's an alliance. And I would probably, I would count Italy as being Hitler's. Yes, they're not invaded yet at the height. Yeah. Right, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. That's a great...

19:38Here we go. So... Peak year for Napoleon, 1812. Peak year for Hitler, 1942. Controlled territory of Napoleon, much of continental Western and Central Europe through annexation. Okay. France, Belgium, Netherlands, parts of Italy, Germany, Spain is occupied, the Confederation of the Rhine, Switzerland, Warsaw. Here we go. Yeah, but they haven't counted France in this. No, they have. No, because they've done France as a sphere of influence, which I don't like. 90 million plays 250 million. I mean, how would we do it by a million kilometers squared? No, the Nazis. Kilometers squared. Let's do kilometers squared.

20:18Yeah, the Nazis doubled it. Hitler doubled it. Yeah. So, but you know. The goat. Still the goat. My queen. Yeah. So in 1812, I think, his first son is born. No, 1811, 1810, who cares? This means he's got a son and his dynasty is secure. So this is the big question, the big hinge point, okay? Why doesn't he stop here? But is this the same? This is the same point as Hitler, right? Totally. The mirror is completely right. Yeah. You've tried to knock the British out. You haven't. Can we stand alone? But basically all of continental Europe is yours. why then do you not just say we did it losses yeah we did it we fucking did it guys should we go for a beer yeah why doesn't he go for a beer because the the sort of mindset you have to have to get into such a situation in the first place means you can't stop if you're the guy who gets a fucking assistant to get married for you you're not gonna you're not gonna pull it back you're gonna stop you're gonna be you're gonna be fucking what fighting around the house all day with an 18 year old no i don't want to talk to her no you've got to have other projects you gotta keep yourself busy so by 1812 napoleon and czar alexander's friendship has festered into mutual suspicion uh russia like portugal was binning off the continental system uh lots of um russian merchants lots of smuggling russian merchants are sort of making a fortune trading with british yeah and so napoleon uh interestingly this is the book the book we read uh napoleon supposedly he doesn't want to conquer russia he wants basically to bring them to turn he wants he wants a slap wrist yeah he wants a decisive uh victory that they meet the in a tent somewhere and he gets a good deal yeah that's what that's what he wants he doesn't actually want to take the difference with hitler hitler's going for much more lean because i guess if you compare them as two figures napoleon actually probably i'd love to do there's nothing i don't want to do napoleon probably do you want to meet after this and do that do this again napoleon probably has a bigger ego than hitler yes would you say yeah because hitler his view and what drives him he views himself as more as a part or a leader of a race of people spirit of woden his spirit of woden yeah it's he he views it as like still a much more of a collective force that he is manifesting Whereas Napoleon's view is actually, it's more just individual will above all else, right?

22:53Yeah. He's not building an empire for the French superior race. What's it for? It's only for to say, it's amazing I've done that. Yeah. It's a white posh guy climbing Everest. It's already been climbed. There's nothing up there. Hitler's actually doing it for a reason. What's the reason? At least he's got a reason. Yeah. Now, Napoleon can't stop himself. He can't keep his hand out the cookie jar. He wants a swift victory. Tactical genius, just strategically, not so much. He also doesn't seem to realise that Russia will just keep falling back into its own territory and swallow him up. We should have learnt from Great Northern War.

23:37Why has he not studied the campaign of Charles XII? The three great military geniuses, Charles XII, Napoleon and Hitler. so um now it should be said that you remember i can't remember what episode you're talking about who invented scorch earth yes i thought i said it was american civil war wellington pioneers it in spain right and portugal because he's part of the he's one of the guys that is like this this he's a defensive genius if you go for i was ranking military leaders he's seventh on chat gbt out of 10 out of 10 which is pretty high i thought yeah but he's probably viewed as the greatest defensive general of all time which i think it's actually i think it's actually a bit of a myth he's sort of viewed as like mayweather right it's technical it's defensive you get points yeah so he's yeah moldini but he actually he the end of the iberia campaign wellington gets his dick out and fucks shit up yes so which i guess he'd have to if he wants to get into that that top seat yeah wellington's all about falling back behind the lines of torres right i don't you know redoubts anyway so um uh britain is still financing anyone willing to fight napoleon okay that is the gaddafi era yeah please my friend have yeah so um austria and prussia are technically napoleon's allies and supply troops for the russian invasion despite privately hoping it wouldn't happen because there's a big sort of you know there's a relative calm and in the east of the continent but much like the Ukraine conflict troops are building up and people are like Napoleon man what are you doing?

25:12Nothing. What are you doing? Nothing. You just married an 18 year old what are you doing over there? What? Free country? What are you doing? It's not a free country. Tsar Alexander Tsar Alexander right he thinks that his struggle against Napoleon is a religious thing because he's Russian and orthodox and I don't know. So voodoo stuff eastern voodoo stuff cold voodoo which is snowy voodoo Snow voodoo is a scary one. It gets a bit scarier. Terrifying. Right. So he falls under the spell of a Baltic mystic. Yeah, this is... Baroness von Krudener, who convinces... Shivering ooga-booga is a wick. Chilly ooga-booga.

25:51No thanks. Look what happened to Glenn Hoddle. Ooga-booga. Ooga-booga. She convinces Alexander that he is the, quote, white angel of peace chosen by God to defeat the black angel, Napoleon. Yeah. Don't make it a race thing. All right? Race doesn't really come into this story. This is what's quite nice about it. It's nice. We can enjoy it. You know, and it's not, there's no colonial stuff to it. It's European. It's in fighting. Yeah. It's white on white violence. Exactly. So we're going to have fun. Yeah. Anyway, so he then gets to a point where he refuses to make any political decisions without consulting the Baroness.

26:26So it is Glenn Hoddle. I'm going to consult the Baroness. Let me consult the Baroness first. Go for a poo. He sort of Glenn Hoddles it. Anyway. sorry i was like i was consulting the baroness yeah yeah it turned out in my future she saw a big sloppy poo so that's what i had to go and do uh anyway so uh in 1812 napoleon assembles le grand armée you son of a bitch i'm in which listeners don't know if you studied french school like i did but that means big army yeah i always thought the grand armée is one of the great land forces ever yeah in the whole of human history most iconic you know the big army it's basically the barbie army but then i guess in french it sounds a little bit more in the grand army but it's big army you and his army is one of my favorite um parlances would you say that's napoleon if you're the russians i would yeah yeah you and his army oh what you've got 600 000 men the most have ever been assembled in history uh is it the most that's ever been assembled ever No, no, no, no, no.

27:29Hitler. At this point. Yes, to this point. Yes, my friend. Yeah. Hitler actually used three million men to go into an operation. Yeah. At this point, it's the biggest army ever amassed. Come on. 600 ,000 men. What else do you fucking want? Yeah. But guys, you know, episode seven. Biggest army. You're in the shed. Episode seven. Biggest army ever. What do you want? Your prostate's hanging out the back of you. You're Richard Keats in your own prostate. What else do you want? Yeah. pick socking it in the shed come on yeah for a while you can go around any night of the week and you'll be hanging out the back of it honestly you're reading that book about Napoleon any night of the week I'm fucking hanging out the back of myself prostate's falling out of my bum 600 ,000 men crossed into Russia now basically only half of them are French the rest they're all which is throughout the whole Napoleon it was right yeah even though it's like a lot of nation states they're all complete mongrel mixes right yeah mongrel scum well wellington's got mongrel scum he's got scum of the earth so there's a lot of polish and lithuanians there's austrians there's italians bavarians again this is pre-german as a country so there's a lot of um holy roman it's not the holy roman empire because that's four people don't know who they are anymore no italy is not a thing germany is not a thing so it's a bit confusing the austrian netherlands yeah you know anyway Diary of Anne Fritzl.

28:51Diary of Anne Fritzl. Now, this means that the orders, the Napoleon says, has to pass through several different languages before reaching the troops. It also requires 200 ,000 horses, who are the hidden victims of the Russian invasion. Yeah, very much. Genuinely. Nay their name.

29:12Bleat we forget. Doesn't really work. What? Bleat. Do horses bleat? No, sheep bleat. They kind of pray. What's the thing they do? They neigh. There's another thing they do. But they also winnie? Winnie, that's winnie. Yeah. What else do they do? Horses. Trot. I think I've nailed it, guys. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, do you know what? I went to say neigh, and then I realized that name is neigh. So I just doubled it. Anyway. Neigh their name. Neigh their name. Now, Napoleon's objective, as we said, is to just force the Russians into a decisive battle. His big problem is because he's got the big army.

29:48the biggest the biggest army the grandest army the big army right I'm gonna come and get you with the big army right his problem is that he can't do what he normally does which is we're gonna forage we're gonna truffle like truffle pigs and pick up thank you thanks Charlie by the time it's just gone every time he said that he's just gone onions not even that onions onions yeah threatening slightly onions Tourette's. Onions. Foraging onions.

30:25I say foraging. You say onions. Foraging onions.

30:30Onions.

30:34Right. So he can't forage because the army's too big and the distances are too big. He can't get his onions to the front. Right. and the French to be fair to Charlie the French fucking love onions they love an onion he can't get an onion around his neck he can't fucking jack it with onions around he can't do that auto-ironion whatever there's something there you work it out I can't be fucked anymore anyway so he has to have traditional supply lines right which is the big problem this invasion because it's too the army's too big big army yeah that's big army yeah that's big of you anyway way. Is everything we knew about warfare changing right before our eyes?

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