Say That To One Of Their Seven Faces | Chernobyl (Part 3/3)

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1:42Welcome back, fatos, to the final part of our epic Chernobyl series. I'm with Horatio Gould. Hello there. And we, listen, it's all gone to shit. Yeah. it's all gone to hell in a hand basket a massive nuclear core has exploded in ukraine the biggest bust of all time oh um the city of milton keynes has been evacuated uh only two people have died at this point which is actually fine yeah but they have many firefighters are suffering from ass, which is acute radiation syndrome. This is in 1986. We haven't done any soundscapes. It might be nice just to do a soundscape of the actual events of the evening of 26th of April.

2:30Charlie, you could be the actual reactor. Yeah. And then you'd be the Geiger counter. And I'll be some Russians or Soviets, whatever. Okay. What's happening in number four? Oh my, oh my, oh my lord, no, no. The reactor is looking unstable. Stop the test. Oh my, it's exploded. Mr. Diablo, it's exploded. Call me, call me, call me, call me. Sir, the reactor is behaving very different. It seems to be playing Take On Me by Aha. The reactor is emitting really sick beats. Why are these beats so sick? This is the world's first nuclear beatbox to that. So that was, we were in control room four there. And, well, they're having a great time, it sounded like.

3:32So it wasn't too bad. No, it sounded like they were having a great time. And it's nice to know that even under the most stressful of conditions, people can still enjoy Aha. That's what they said. It's the Geiger beat pad. The Geiger beat pad. In all seriousness, people's skin have fallen off. The world could have genuinely been wiped out. But there were some burly men from the Donbass who came in, and in the series, they all look like Red Richardson, and they built a massive concrete slab underneath the power plant to stop Jaina's syndrome. So by the summer of 1986, the fires are largely out. The worst of the immediate submissions have subsided, but there is still a risk.

4:17Reactor 4 remains shattered. A shattered, unstable mass of fuel, graphite and twisted metal. Am I talking about Charlie's toilet on holiday? No. It's still dangerous. Twisted metal. A shattered, unstable mass, dangerous, hot and leaking radiation. It does sound like your toilet. Your ski's shallow. I don't want to talk about it anymore. The reactor needed to be entombed to seal off what was left of the core. Yeah, so after our ski holiday, the cleaners had to be on a shift pattern where they could only be going to the toilet for 40 seconds at a time. It's clear. And 4 ,000 cleaners had to be used.

4:53Yeah, for 90 seconds at a time. And they nicknamed the toilet after a Russian woman called Masher. Yeah, and what they found in there they called the elephant's foot. Yes, and they needed to build a structure called a sarcophagus over the toilet because they're like, we cannot flush this. It's still emitting radiation. We've just got to write this whole room off. We can just contain this room. Contain the toilet. The official name for the sarcophagus is object shelter. Now, in theory, this is to encapsulate reactor four in concrete and steel structure to reduce the radioactive release. In practice, it became one of the most complex engineering operations of the late 20th century until the situation at Charlie's Toilets in the skitch hour.

5:36This is beef to the dads right here. This is engineering red meat. I guess it's like a man of a certain age. You're viewing yourself. When you read about this, you're thinking of yourself as the guy who sorts it out. That's why every dad has a fantasy. That something like this happens and they have to work something else. Sheila, I've got to go. I'm needed. They need someone. With my sort of brains. My brain. My practical approach. Finally, my brain, that is always at odds with yours, is useful. Yeah, my brain that's, you know, caused a lot of strife. Yes. Socially. Finally, the fact I've ruined every Christmas might save humanity.

6:11Yeah. The interior of the core, the blown out core, is too radioactive for prolonged human presence. The actual blueprints of the plant are way out of date. No one actually knows the measurements. Yeah, it's of a different place. Yeah. It's just, yeah, sort of a beach shack. Yeah, so they build a massive sort of structure. Do you know what? It's a babushka doll. Yeah. A bigger one around. Yeah. And they put another one. Another one on top of that. Yeah. To contain all the radiation. Yes. So do you think in the film, they're all scratching their heads and then he just sees a Russian doll and he's like...

6:48Of course. It was so simple. The answer was there all along. Many operations are limited to seconds or minutes. Yeah. So it's like a colony of ants basically having to do it in shifts. It's passing a bucket of water along a line to put a fire out. Equipment breaks down under the exposure to the radiation. So you've got men who are like erecting supports, pouring concrete, welding, but they can only do it for a few seconds and then they have to tap out. There's this thing called the elephant's foot. This is the name given to the infamous mass of core beneath reactor four. So that is, that's like a lava-like mass that flowed from the core and solidified into the shape that we're looking at now.

7:32Which does look like an elephant's foot. It does look like an elephant. I mean, yeah, but an elephant. So is that one of the most radioactive parts? Well, that's the core, isn't it? Is that the core, right? So that is molten nuclear fuel, graphite, concrete and sand fused together. Christ. And that's what they found in Charlie's toilet at the ski shallow. Because he was trying to get rid of the smell by just pouring sand on, but he couldn't get over the smell. That's all the noise Bibi was hearing. Yeah, helicopters flying, but they kept missing because you can't get over it because it's too smelly.

8:04He's pouring boron on it. I don't know where you got that from. But yeah, so this is first identified in late 86, and it's so lethal. It's lethal if you get anywhere close to it. So people to take photographs would like run in quick. Yeah. I don't know why they need to photograph it like that, but anyway. It's one of the most dangerous things on earth, that elephant's foot there. And so they create this exclusion zone. Now we're looking at this map. This is a map of radiation from Chernobyl. It's very, very, very bad in Ukraine and Belarus and bits of the Eastern Russian Federation. It's pretty bad in parts of Sweden, Norway and Finland and Austria.

8:45And also Northern Wales, like where Wrexham is. Wrexham's getting fucked. Well, that would make a lot of sense. You're like, have you ever been to Rill? No. Chernobyl is where it should be called. Is it because the higher ground catches it more? Because why are things further away? Is it maybe because there's more air currents coming higher up? Well, no, is it because of the curvature of the earth? Because we're looking at, I don't know. but because it swirls but I love that I love that the southeast of England is just completely fine just fine done it again done it again how have they done it again Wales and the northwest Liverpool's fucked all the Celtic regions actually the most Celtic regions it's almost like they were asking for it what were they wearing can you Charlie can you google why like North Wales has more radiation from Chernobyl than london is it because the rain interesting so the rainier parts of the country so heavy radioactive rain coincided with the cloud passing over the region right so it's clouds taking it over right so this rainfall forced cesium-137 onto the upland pastures where peaty soil allowed the radioactive material to be easily absorbed by grazing sheep oh and then the they fuck the sheep and then they get radioactive so there you go yeah the dangers of sheep shagging their compound it turns out so it was up until i think 2012 was the last time they like got rid of a radioactive sheep from chernobyl really literally the coalition years is when the last the last sheep that was destroyed because of radiation or something so obviously the worst of it is around chernobyl and pripyat what sound does uh radioactive sheep make

10:39bouch bouch bouch bouch bouch bouch bouch yeah you know when you hear a sheep go bouch something's not right with that something's happened there so obviously the heaviest contamination is around the city of Pripyat it extends across Europe this becomes the exclusion zone which do we know how big it is? Like in 30 kilometers in radius initially it's about a thousand square miles. How many football fields or whatever is that Charlie? The people are thick they don't know what a thousand square miles is. Give us some kind of reference. Okay. How tall is Wayne Rooney height? So 1.76 meters. How many miles is it?

11:311 ,000 square miles. So that is... How many square Wayne Rooney's is that? That is... He's already pretty square. Yeah, but that's still... That is. That's fascinating. Why are you getting a calculator up? No, that is 568 square Wayne Rooney's. Square Wayne Rooney's. It's not at all. It's not. Yeah, it is. It's not. It's not 568 Wayne Rooney's. No, because Wayne Rooney is not 1.76 miles tall. Oh, shit. Okay, wait, wait, wait. So if Wayne Rooney is 1.76 metres tall, how many square miles, how many square Wayne Rooney's is 1 ,000 square miles? I think the square Wayne Rooney's is going to take away from the...

12:10So it's 836 million Wayne Rooney's lying flat in perfect squares. That's a lot. That's a lot. To be fair, you've nailed that. I get a real sense of... I mean, it's incomprehensible. Yeah. 836 million Wayne Rooney's. Do you imagine that many... Do you imagine that many Wayne Rooney's? I mean, it really gives you a sense of the scale of the disaster. That's a lot, yeah.

13:31We'll see you next time. Order on the Sweetgreen app. You want to impress them on a first date, but also play it cool. So what do you do? I'm Rufy Thorpe, and I wrote and read a real love story about a hinged couple that navigated exactly that. Listen to the free audiobook now. So we should just place this. And also, Chernobyl made a lot more Wayne Roonies. Yes, big heads. Yeah, flat heads. 1986, would you like to place this for our smelly, thick listeners? it's after the film's stalker by tarkovsky and it's before transformers 2 i assume you haven't seen stalker no uh is it is based on a russian kind of psychedelic novel it's about this this written in the 70s it's about this zone in this mysterious dystopian soviet land which you can't go because once you go into there weird things start happening all right people don't end up leaving and there's these people called stalkers who are guides who break in illegally through the fences and like there's loads of army patrols they and they'll take people who are fascinated by it via like dark tourism and he takes a poet and a scientist and it's like this amazing film where they're just entering going through this and everything's sort of in black and white until they get into the zone and it sort of bursts into color and there's just these strange kind of things happening and visions um but that happened 10 years like six years before chernobyl so it's really strange that basically and now when we went to see pripyat and chernobyl we had a guide who was basically our stalker right so it's just really it's just odd so it's after that and it's before shark tail okay great and shark tail if you don't this is amazing film that I've not seen.

15:17It is amazing. Well, Shark Tale is what ended up with the people who lived in Pripyat. They ended up looking like they're... Well, it's a documentary about the dogs that survived the explosion and they're now sharks, essentially. So, the exclusion zone, managing an exclusion zone, as I know, and as you know from sharing a toilet with Charlie, it's a major administrative task. The military have to establish checkpoints to prevent illegal entry and looting. Infrastructure is just left to decay. Schools, shops, playgrounds, and apartment blocks are abandoned. Evacuees are then housed in temporary accommodation.

15:57They're promised new employment. Soviet cleanup authorities have to send armed squads into the exclusion zone to destroy animals. I think there is a level of disaster. Like if you have to leave your dog, it's not that bad. if you have to put your dog down it's very bad if you have to destroy your dog yeah it's very very bad yeah like destroying an animal because i mean the dog uh holocaust of the blitz allegedly allegedly allegedly that's the middle tier right that's that's amber warning yeah that's just putting them all down because they didn't destroy the dogs did they no they didn't destroy the dogs so this is the code red so there's no way they could admit how bad it is it's all about the noble lie right but to the point where it just keeps the Chernobyl lie yeah it's pretty good Ian Paul I'm here have I got have I got quips for you yeah very quick the Chernobyl lie come on come on come on not been on for some time it's probably because I would you go back on no would you not no really no I don't want boring cunts coming to my tour show I want men in fedora two 3D print katanas.

17:08Yeah, fun guys. Fun guys. I do not want, you know, fucking boomers, rye boomers. Yeah, you don't want a rye boomer. Beethoven's Brothers at 60 at my tour show going, bit too much about pedophilia, but yeah, I enjoyed the stuff you said about Gersel armour. My father-in-law's review last tour. Well, is that exactly what you said? Yeah, bit too much pedophilia stuff, but I enjoyed the stuff you said about Gersel armour. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Get rid of the Kirstenmer stuff. Yeah, that's why. It's a preview. Get rid of that. Morpedo stuff. Yes. No, you're right. The Chernobyl... You know what?

17:47It's exactly the same as the production team of I Got News For You. They cannot admit the systemic rot at the heart of it. Right. The bureaucratic failures. The bureaucratic failures of the show. I mean, Paul Merton is a sunken reactor core. you know if you're not if you tag his joke you you he tells he says he doesn't want you to do it again it's probably what happened to me because i'm probably tagged his joke but i'm just can't be tagging paul's joke no you're in his playground though that's what i mean yeah um so the the security service the kgb they basically they treat all the rbmk reactor design flaws as classified so all the engineers they've asked to help they don't know any of the vulnerabilities so there's no like sense of how they work out what happened because it's like what do you mean what happened it was all fine so in august 86 the soviet union holds the vienna conference on chernobyl uh which is the first international explanation of what happened and during the conference uh our friend valerie val is it valerie legosov is that his name doing leg leg legosov legs off his legs are well lots of people's legs lots of people legs are off yeah um all legs are off he delivers this technical account that frames the disaster purely as a result of procedural violations and operator error so he does not frame it as a design of the fact that it's a shit kettle so is it Vasilny what's his name the guy the operator Paul Ritter's character Dyatlov Dyatlov yeah so he's the guy who they're putting it all on yeah and Akimov and the guys that are dead yeah you know the guys who Michael Douglas to death yeah so Legasov then gets publicly honored by the Soviet state for basically holding the line and saying, oh, it's just all the outlaws fault.

19:36So the USSR then has an official investigation, which tries to allocate blame to individuals rather than take any ownership as the fact that it's their fault. So they say it's poor discipline, mismanagement. Mandatory redistribution of blame. Yes, exactly. It's not ours. Yeah. We own the blame. Yeah. And we give it to you. We seize the means of blaming others. yeah we seized the means of blame uh the criminal trial takes place in july 87 in chernobyl six officials are tried uh brukhanov the director uh diatlov and nikolai foomin who's the chief engineer and he's foomin at the mouth of this he is because of the radiation yeah he's foaming out the ass as well his liver's fallen out of his ass he's having a terrible time he's confused don't know why they're trying something's not right here um and they each get 10 years in prison uh which i think is a bit of a shock to everyone there because they were like well hang on you did you did make it why why is it like a fuck it button yeah i'm not meant to press it it's either too it's a weird uh time period because it's either too little or too much do you know what i mean yeah because either they were the ones who caused it then it's like basically should be life imprisonment right yeah or they weren't and therefore it should be like two yeah but again this would mean that the USSR would have to shed the illusion that it's just a bunch of knackered fucking microwaves or whatever.

21:02What are you... You're seeing if there's quite a unique example of people going to prison for mismanagement. Does that actually happen much? Post Office Horizon scandal. Are they in prison? I think they are, yeah. What treatment are you getting if you're one of the Post Office Horizons? I don't think you're getting killed like a paedophile. no you're not getting you're not getting Watkins and Huntley Ian'd Ian's you're not getting Ian'd I don't imagine they're taking your food I think hey I don't think do you know what I don't think I think they're they're the bullies I think what the post office I think they're the alphas are they beating up serial rapists yeah I think they're I think they're bumming pedophiles post office horizon IT scandals they're like hey sweet cheeks fucking jailbait over there what am I in for don't look at me like that if you don't want to get bummed.

21:49Ever heard of a thing called the Post Office Horizon scandal? Mastermind. Now, pick up my soap. You motherfucking jail bitch. Well, they got Charles Bronson bent over. Yeah, yeah. I reckon before his untimely death, Ian Huntley had a big wig and he was like their prison wife to the Post Office Horizon lads. Yeah, they're living large, that lot. Anyway, so Legasov is one of, I mean, this is one of the most tragic, stories. No, it's not actually. No, it's not. People were born with fucking seven heads. He becomes isolated within the scientific community. It's not that sad actually. I made a big swing.

22:30I just really like Jared Harris. I think he's a phenomenal actor and he's sort of the main guy. He brought a lot to that role. Yeah. Iconic performance. But it's not the worst thing that happened. There's worse things than being isolated from the scientific community. We're isolated from the scientific community. Yes. well yeah some parts of the scientific community i'm deeply embedded within the pseudo scientific community uh i will be i will be the guest speaker at the london excel center's phonology conference in 2026 to which i hope i will see meet many of you there um i will be sending i will be selling branded calipers literature i'll be sharing my own research uh anyway so yeah Legasov, he sort of becomes the public face of the response.

23:14And he's like, well, certainly in the miniseries, he's the one that is always trying to, he's the one that is portrayed as fighting against the Soviet machine. I don't know how real that was. Because as you say, it's like 30 people that they put into one role. Yeah. Two years after the explosion, almost pretty much to the day, he hung himself. Why are you laughing? I was laughing. What do you mean? What do you mean you're laughing? You guys are really funny. Charlie, can you hear what we're saying? It's my big fucking pet peeve. You guys are really funny. Is that you'll laugh at weird... Are you watching something on your phone?

23:50You two are some of the best. Genuinely. What were you laughing at? What were you laughing at? This. The guy who's hanging himself. Yeah. You're laughing at that? Well, just how you said it. How I said it? You've got real way of words.

24:04Anyway. So, two, two years after. so this is the 38th birthday well now I'm laughing that's one of the saddest parts of the story I know he's been isolated he's fucking slapping his knees he's rubbing his belly he's an absolute idiot giggling chimp

24:26a good man who was trying to fight against the bureaucracy of the Soviet state killed himself killed himself out of guilt out of shame out of isolation

24:40but he records a series of audio tapes called the legassoff tapes yeah um which are on the patreon we've got our own legassoff we've got the firman tapes they're not quite the same they're not quite the same he didn't just spit the n-word into his own recorder and then kill himself what an audio suicide note this is he just said the n-word for seven hours Well, I guess you can't cancel him. No, I guess he killed himself. I guess he got it out of the system before he went to the afterlife. But he sort of, yeah, he reflects on the failures of the Soviet system and the need for truth about the incident, and these get published in Pravda.

25:15Our old friend. That was a lot in the Russian Revolution, Pravda. Oh, is that like the state magazine? Yeah. Well, it was the revolutionary magazine. Now it's the state one. And years later in 96, Boris Yeltsin, fattest man ever. Pissed. pissed fat red face I mean he was kind of amazing he is amazing get Boris Yeltsin drunk like he would walk into like key like diplomatic conferences with the US president and he would just be pissed yeah battered so it's like sort of a lot of press ops that you're meant to be doing to sort of get photos of you being a you know a man who cares about the people but you'd always be just a bit too pissed it does make it look fun being president just doing all these things in this fucking way.

26:01It makes you think Boris Johnson could have gone further, really. Oh, this is, this is brilliant dad dancing.

26:09This is the first, this is the first Russian president after communism, isn't it? So they didn't know what they're doing. No, he's like, fuck it. Is this what you're meant to do? Is this capitalism? Western, Western. Hello? Hello? Get him falling down the stairs as well. Yeah, there we go. Bastard.

26:34So good. Yeah. So he, Boris Yeltsin, awards Legosov hero of the Russian Federation posthumously in 96. But basically, Chernobyl, well, it essentially kills the Soviet Union. Yeah. You could argue. That's what Gorbachev. Gorbachev said that. Yeah. I would say it's because he had an egg on his head. I think he was deflecting. Deflecting eggs with his head. yeah he missed one so um nuclear power stations were like you know it's symbol of modernity and stuff and then yeah so nuclear power has gone down since chernobyl because this is the the big con for nuclear power right is chernobyl yes chernobyl could happen yeah but apart from that they're the best source of energy right well it gets risk reward isn't it yeah is it well if you can afford to do nuclear energy it's the most renewable and like but it's not up and running would it be interesting to see has the co2 emissions or well other emissions the bad emissions the nuclear emissions is that worse overall than all the fucking coal-powered ones that greta goes on about well they're just they're worse in different ways aren't they yeah a generation of people get cancer but then it's not like a slow destruction of the global warming right well say that to their face well which one which one of their faces which one of their seven faces you could take your pick they've got a face on their ass they've got a face in their leg i mean you know instinctively i'm for nuclear power and i think just do it just don't be an idiot with it right this is my genuine that's your big takeaway of this series fucking idiots are you like woke nonsense surely is nuclear power is not woke nonsense is it no wind turbines are woke nonsense right yeah i think they are i think they are very woke nonsense so i guess the straight the most clarkson form of energy is coal right yes 100 burn coal fracking i guess fracking fracking's very straight but then you know i'm biased you know my mouth my mouth is like jeremy clarkson's bin in the anything's going in there i'm just eating packaging i'm eating plastic he's just shoving anything in my mouth he's not separating any of his things all in one bin fuck it that's my mouth when i open the fridge at the end of the day i get the five o 'clock that's my most dangerous part of the day five o 'clock it's five o 'clock somewhere that is that's my that is my worst you know i can be quite disciplined until five nutella all of it all of it's going in fucking peanut butter smoked salmon my stomach at this point's like what are you doing what the fuck are you doing if i push shuffle mode why the fuck are you eating this yeah i'm very if i can eat if i can eat dinner at five i think i'm my health would be um in a much better state but i do so much damage between five to seven waiting for dinner so obviously it's very expensive all this stuff as you've said 700 billion dollars um the exclusion zone is a permanent liability 832 million wayne really squared yes thank you thank you for yep i know exactly what that looks like now squared uh and gorbitrop had recently launched all these policies of glasnost as i said to ease tension to the west but the disaster completely accelerates uh the end of the system because uh whereas all the flaws of the Soviet system at its most creaking at its worst all come out in this.

30:08It's like all of the problems that have been building up for many years are the most at the surface with the Chernobyl. Yeah, the lack of sort of competition, the culture of no accountability, of middle management. The problem with just having party men who are just looking out for their own betterment. Yeah. It's a great irony of communism on that scale where everyone is looking out for themselves but can't admit it. Yeah. And also the hiding information it creates just a fake reality yeah where truth is completely alternative basically once citizens start questioning nuclear safety all the other pillars of the system are up for questioning as well so a lot of like i think the thing i listened to was that the ukrainian nationalist movement or certainly the or maybe the lithuanian one that's the first republic to go independent first button to ping out first button to ping out of the fly oh christmas day their nationalist movement sort of starts on the basis of the CND or the anti-nuclear the anti-Chernobyl movement let's get to Chernobyl today the containment operation is still as with Charlie's toilet it's never finished, the work is never finished the half-life coming out is millions of years so you'll never be finished No, not in several lifetimes.

31:28Will that toilet ever be usable again? By the early 21st century, it was clear that the original 1986 sarcophagus overreacted for was deteriorating. Cracks were appearing in it. Steel supports were corroded. Parts of the structure were weakening. And engineers feared a second collapse could release radioactive dust into the atmosphere. So the answer is what they called the new safe confinement, the NSC, which to enclose the reactor and the original sarcophagus. So it is a Babushka doll. Yeah. It's an even bigger one on top. Whichever, you must have seen this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fucking massive.

32:14It's huge. Yeah. I mean, of course, you hear so much about it and then you get, we've got right up close to it as well. Yeah, how much, how close did they let you get? Like, about where that, About where the photo on the left is. Right, okay. Looks like Bryce Norton. Bryce Norton? Yeah. Do you know RF Bryce Norton is right by Crocodile Land? You ever been Crocodile Land? No. So just in West Oxford, in West Oxford there is a private collector of crocodiles who started this thing called Crocodile Land. And there are hundreds of crocodiles. Crucially, it's genuinely seconds away from RF Bryce Norton because if the crocodiles ever got out, you can just carp a bomb within a minute is that why no that's not why charlie but have you ever been yes it's a good day i went to crocodile world but a month ago with my kids is it a good good day out they got a lot of fucking crocs i'll tell you that much but if you're if you're not looking for crocodiles uh you'd hate it um my mom didn't come even though it was her birthday because she uh really hates crocodiles so were you celebrating her birthday without her yeah Yeah, in the centre.

33:21When this one's for you, mum. And she was like, I'm just over here. And we're like, no, my son really wants to see the crocodiles. They've got loads of them. And what's terrifying is they all just like lie on each other like a big sort of crocodile lasagna. Yeah. And there's hundreds of them. Like a rat king. There is a crocodile rat king. Yeah. Disgraceful. What? Apparently they bark. Apparently crocodiles bark. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, listen. They came down. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Listen. Oh, my God. The Chernobyl growlers. My God. We haven't even talked about the state.

33:50Of the Chernobyl women's growlers. Yes? Oh, that's the sound there, mate. An old Russian woman opens her legs. This is what you hear.