Start The Boats ! | Dunkirk Part 4: Miracle

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1:31Welcome once again to Pinversus History. I'm joined by Horatio Gould. Hello. And this is the final part, the softly spoken Horatio Gould. Hello. This is our fourth part. You're right, Charlie. Yeah, if Churchill sounded like that. Fight them on the beaches and then, you know, maybe fight them on the landing grounds. Yeah, we'll never surrender. What was that? No, we won't give up. Sorry? If this island story is to end. Speak up. Yeah. There's a lot of wet dads, actually, that I meet that sound a bit like that. Not like this. No, it's fine. Do they have small coffees? Small what? They're like small, little, you know, fancy coffees.

2:16There's a real, I don't know, there's just a real, you can sort of track the dads. What, are these called sort of like middle-class London dads? Yeah, the defeated London dad who's like, I know, this is what a feminist looks like. Yeah. That kind of thing. no i work full-time and i'm the full-time i'm a full-time dad and i'm actually it's fine actually it's absolutely fine actually a real man i'm actually a real man looks after the kids like this yeah there's a lot of that there's lots of toxic masculinity about when actually this is what an ideal man sounds like yeah i don't even fuck my wife because that's toxic i just sort of strand i just hide in the fridge and wait for her to finish herself off because i'm a real feminist anyway welcome back this is uh episode four uh the fourth parts are always pretty sloppy save space for toxic masculinity yeah i i think i'm quite openly toxic yeah um i'm fighting toxic masculinity exactly um we're taught we are at dunkirk there's 338 000 toxic males on a beach bonnie blues licking her lips about to turn it into come kirk their male privilege uh they're left there and if the feminists were in charge yeah you know if it'd been winifred churchill she would have gone let them sink into the sea yeah let's start the whole thing again exactly they've made a mess brilliant we can just scissor each other at home let's scissor each other at home until this whole thing blows over we're talking believe it or not about dunkirk the british love of queuing yes that's all and it's all into it that's all it's you know it's titanic very similar it's like everyone's like saying very proud of the the kind of stoic waiting to die Yeah.

3:47Same people here, isn't it? It's just, I mean. Lined up, waiting to die. The image of this man just waiting patiently. It's like a post office queue, but you die at the end and there's still we Brits going, what are they? What places to be? Why are they thinking about to kill us? I want to get a good spot in the afterlife. Is it Christmas? Christmas, is it? Oh, it's a nightmare. Absolute nightmare. God, you've thought of Amazon. I've never thought of this. That's an absolute nightmare at Christmas. Can you hurry up? Dying, please. I would like to die, please. there's nazis two miles away can you hurry up um so we're on a beach in dunkirk there's 300 000 british men looking awkward yeah um it's kind of people sorry dunkirk bum bumfuck bumfuck really sounding it out there really scraping a barrel it turns out 300 000 blokes on the beach uh is is not loads happens for four episodes but it's an amazing it is an amazingly powerful thing that happens.

4:48Start the boats. Start the boats. So 300 ,000 men are on a beach. Tennant, who's the guy. Time Lord. Not David Tennant. He's on the 29th of May. Did he invent Tennant's, the homeless pint cans? No, he didn't invent Tennant's. This is another Tennant. This is the third Tennant. Not the beer guy, not the Doctor Who. The Christopher Nolan film Tennant's not a biopic. Not Tennant, no. or whatever that's called. So he's gone back in time to do this in reverse or whatever the film is about. Couldn't really follow it. The Christopher Nolan, I watched a really shit Christopher Nolan film the other day.

5:27Which one? He loves time stuff. The one, it's called like Memory or something? Memori? Memento? Memento. That's one of his best ones. Fucking shite. That's a good film. I didn't understand it at all. Well, yeah, you wouldn't. Yeah, but you earlier, you said, I can't see or hear. Yeah, I'm getting my eyes and ears. Was that on air? I don't think he said that on air. No. Charlie, before we started this series, quite flippantly said, yeah, I need to, I'm testing to see, because I can't see or hear. Yeah. And you've been working with us for six months now and you've just said that as a podcast producer, you can't see or hear.

5:56So when we ask you, are we recording on picture and sound? You're like, I guess so. He's basically krill. I push two buttons. I push two buttons. I'm going to get spec savers and they get... Yeah, I meant to. That's one of his better ones. No, it's not. I didn't, nothing happens. It's all filmed backwards. Well, you would think that because you can't fucking see or hear. Basically being produced by Helen fucking Keller.

6:19That's essentially what this podcast is. It's the rest is history if it was hosted by a Nazi apologist and produced by Helen Keller. That's what this show is. Anyway, Ramsey, I don't know who that is, he puts out a call for small boats to help. Because on the 29th of May, they've realized there's a big mole, big breakwater. They're like, let's line up all the guys on the mole and then we can evacuate them that way. Now, bear in mind that the reason the Luftwaffe can't, aren't they're meant to be like um they've been charged with destroying us yeah us

6:53yeah we know it's us yeah no no yeah us the good guys the good guys the british yeah no not not the not the horriblest thinking arts is in a thousand year dream dream reich no no not not their beautiful you don't need to keep expanding on it fever dream what if imagine not that that's implicit yeah no of course take you can't take things granted there's some terrible people with terrible opinions out there yeah um imagine imagine the great sliding doors moment this is cameron diaz is she a different film no it's uh gwyneth paltrow gwyneth paltrow very different film i'd like it's got a dido soundtrack i prefer this film what sliding doors but it's on the death train explain so what's the premise what's the sliding doors moment of the death train i guess hitler's on a train and the doors close and those are the doors to get to I mean it's sliding doors as he gets into art school isn't it but then he wouldn't be Hitler don't look so serious so sad no that's not the sliding doors is this this is Hitler's sliding doors but then he wouldn't be Hitler Gwyneth Paltrow through her lifestyle brand Goop has suggested that squatting while urinating in the shower can be beneficial for pelvic floor health pelvic floor is a women's issue Charlie it's a women's issue men don't have pelvic floor yeah we have cocky ceiling cock ceiling um anyway so basically the evacuation of dunkirk you've had a huge fucking indian and it's you know when you you know when it takes you like seven shits to clear it clear it out yes you just keep going back to the toilet and you don't know what's going to come out it's like me sometimes it's just rabbit pellets after our cricket day out yeah i had a bump bump collapse yeah exactly but you have to keep getting different uh boats to ferry away yeah it's basically 300 000 men were stuck in your tummy yeah and you had just a different point every point just small boats just little trips chip away the total just chipping it down in singles um on the 29th of may so bear in mind the night before they've evacuated 17 000 the day before that 7 000 they're trying to get 40 000 in 48 but the real key is they realize they can use this mole this breakwater and also they start making this um pier out of lorries they get all the lorries lorry pier they get lorry pier right they get all their lorries because they've got loads of kit and they're just leaving it yeah it's like they're doing dirt bikes over the lorry pier yes evil knieveling home that's what they're doing they build they get lorries and they deflate all the tires and then they they push them into the sea and they put wooden planks on top of them and they realize that you can that's steady enough to walk out which is kind of creative thinking i mean this is what you'd say brings out the best in british um kind of thinking outside the box backed against the wall cornered what are they going to do think outside the box think outside the box with something innovative and boring yes that's British back to the corner I guess that is quite a good idea why don't we do that why don't we make a pier out of lorries keep our trail mix in it keeps it fresher yeah that's a good idea why don't we have a backpack we had a little bum bag that we could take on the wall that's a very good idea boring but I'm glad you're thinking of it yeah someone is Brazilians are like yeah we'll be shagging but I'm glad you guys are thinking of that I'm glad you've found a way of keeping your trail mix dry

10:05someone needs to nothing worse than soggy trail mix in a 10-hour carnival fuck session um so bear in mind goering has persuaded hitler that he wants stop stop we have to we have to get through bumfuck bumfuck that was poor that was really good though and i feel that You're judging me because of my past failures. Herman Gurning. Because he's on Met. Yeah. Okay. It's not bad. Bumferk. Bumferk was bad. Bumferk's bad. Bumferk's bad. You miss every shot you don't take. Bumferk. It sounds sort of like Dutch. You'd already said Cumber. That wasn't good either. No. Christ. Listen. Guring has been charged with annihilating the BF by air.

10:53But much like cricket. Yeah. God is on our side with the weather. Right. Okay. In that it's cloudy and yet flat seas. What's bad about that? Well, no, normally if it's cloudy up top, it's choppy seas. But I'm just saying it's perfect conditions for an evacuation. So why this gets called the miracle... Green and pleasant land, Jerusalem plays, God's on our side. Right. But why it gets called a miracle is that so many things come together to enable this evacuation. Yeah. There's a cloud cover, which means the dive bombers can't actually strafe the beach. there's the whole order that Hitler gives to the Panzers which means that it buys us time there's 7 ,000 brave boys some of which are French weirdly dying for us well it's French taking their berries off putting bowler hats on and pretending they're English which is really bad I am English yeah well actually a lot of French people get away at Dunkirk which is I don't think that's cricket what do you mean they get on the boat yeah 100 ,000 of the 338 ,000 are French really yes which does not get said enough but it's more like I think a lot of people did shout at them defend your own country I think so that's what I'd be shouting if I was there I'd say what the fuck are you doing getting on this boat well I'd be waiting on the other side saying start the boat and then as soon as the Frenchman comes off stop the boat right right stop them stop them close the gate sorry sorry mate back you go so what they're doing so there's a line just outside Dunkirk but at this point on the 29th Hitler's gone right panzers again yeah panzers again bloop gets the panzers going again so the ring is tightening not just hitlers um the ring is tightening around dunkirk and what was that over the radio i think there's a bit there's some interference i told you panzers now there's some interference on the line are you going through a tunnel i can't quite hear you what are you anyway um farcy hitlers on the charge and um the so what the what the brits are doing by the way is that they better like leave just all their kit all their weapons all their jeeps all their tanks like the entire army is in france and they're just like right get all the men fuck everything else but they don't want it to fall into the hands of the germans so they basically start start pouring porridge into the into the engines of the jeeps they'll pour like oats and sand anything they can find just like shove some beef in the engine just like make sure that does can't work so you don't does that ruin a car forever well i don't know but i guess they're just guessing like we've got to fuck what have you got i've got some porridge in a tin we'll put that in the engine see what happens back to the corner they're not always going to be good ideas no there's the lorry pier work but this porridge car is really not taking off but there's someone lobbing marmalade sandwiches at the panzers i don't know i don't know will this stop them it worked for Paddington Bear maybe it'll stop here I don't know so the Germans can't bomb because of the cloudy because it still feels like you've got to be bombing us now once we're you should be trying everything you can listen there's 300 ,000 men on the beach looking up praying for deliverance and you've got some Nazi bombers part of me is like what do you mean it's cloudy well just give it a go surely put all of your bombs in the 300 ,000 we're all there it's 10 mile beach but they can't I mean as we discovered in the history of flight this is only 40 years into flying.

14:10To place this, this is 1940. This is, what, six or seven years after Amelia Earhart signaled the end of female pilots. Yeah, air crash. Air crash. Amelia Ear crash. Airport. Amelia Airport, as Charlie calls her. Amelia Airport signaled the turn from female pilots to air stewardesses. And it's just before the pill was invented. Right. Is it? yes the pill was invented in the 60s was it oh yes that was okay which as we know was the death now for the economy because the shagging or because they're now women can now work right right right right yeah never recovered really the economy has yet to recover

14:53i i still don't quite understand why women work i just don't get it i still don't understand it i don't understand i feel once again not saying that i would be a good military commander but I do reckon I could have done a better job. I think what we're learning is that actually we would be very good. I reckon I'm just like, well, they're all there. Just try to think of something. Try a bit harder. I mean, they're thinking of porridge cars and stuff. You think outside the box. They're all sat there and they're going to be there for two days. They're pouring porridge into cars. They are completely out of ideas.

15:23They're fucked. Even if you just lob as many bombs as you can over the wall of the beach or whatever. But it must be said there's also like rearguard actions all along the corridor, which does not get mentioned in the story brave rearguard action because everyone's thinking about the boats and the imagery of all the little boats coming but no one actually thinks about all the rearguard fighting and the corridors of Dunkirk yeah so the water systems around Dunkirk have all been turned off so the troops are like looting bars they're getting drunk obviously they're on a beach it's like an all inclusive yeah yeah it's like a little beach shack and again and again and again coconuts swim up bar you know all that so waiting on the beach they're standing in chest high water in order to access all the little smaller boats that start coming from...

16:05Because what they worked out they could do is get the small boats and they could go into the shallow water, pick them up and then take them to the bigger boats a bit further out, which would then take them back to Britain. So this just constant shuttle running, as you said, 10 shits. While they're waiting, they've got snorkels on armbands. Yeah. On the beach, and this is what makes you so proud to be British, soldiers waited in orderly queues and warded off impatient troops with guns. there's a story about um how one in one of the rearguard actions uh in the dunkirk town someone was like you're gonna fight to the death and they were like oh but i'm just gonna try and get on a boat or whatever and they were like if you cross this tree line i'm gonna shoot at you and then one of the officers did and they just shot him oh i don't know why i thought the story was going but that's just it just tells you how like you know there are people there are people that died so that Dunkirk could happen.

16:59Could live. Could live in our minds. Yeah. So people died so people could queue. People died for us to make fun of this. You should remember that. I mean, got to think what this podcast would be if the Nazis had taken over. It might be an anti-Nazi podcast. This would just be a sort of, I don't know what it would be. It'd be like fucking the news agents.

17:21Nazi music. To be Emily Mummieless. Or Emily Mutieless. Lewis Goodall, that man says, every synonym he can think for a word before he moves on to the next word. It's like, we get it. You're insecure about coming from Birmingham. It's absolutely infuriating to listen to. He's just got that like posh accent where he's flattened all of his Midlands-ness. But he'll also go, Starmer is discombobulated, confused, unraveling. We've done this with Brand. Guess what he turned out to be. Exactly. Just like pick a word, Lewis, and then move on to the next word. That's what talking is. I know there's lots of different words, but you're meant to use one to mean one thing and then carry on the sentence.

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19:25Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. um anyway 29th of may uh i reckon they're having a nice time they're singing it's a beach you know it's a beach but you know british don't get they don't have pebble beaches mainly so you know they're like oh the sandy beach is nice they've got the towels out uh building sandcastles maybe they're building like snow angels they're burying them in the sand with tits a bit of fun isn't it anyway on this day this is the crucial day because of the big mole um 47 310 british troops are evacuated, which overtakes the original number that was aimed in Diamond and Dynamo in one day.

20:02So now they start thinking, fuck, I reckon we might be able to get everyone out now. So originally with ambitious ideas of what Dynamo could be, they just thought it'd be like ideally like 30 ,000 people. Yeah, they were like 40 ,000 in two days would be amazing. That would be incredible. And then the rest are just fucked. The Germans fucked it. The Germans fucked it. They absolutely fucked it. That's what I've been saying. Hitler after this shouldn't be able to sleep at night. that's what i'd say to him it's i'd say to him after the dunk i don't know how you sleep at night i think you should be ashamed you should be ashamed that was an open goal you absolutely i know it's a holocaust no no no no i'm not letting you get off the hook for dunkirk stop bringing up the holocaust who gives a fuck whatever you had an open goal there and you fucking fernando torres did you had too much time to think there was more people on the beach and dunk hurt then you killed in the holocaust yeah probably i don't know um so we move to the 30th of may by this point it's starting to look up uh are the raf and the luftwaffer are always fighting above the clouds so on the beach like you see this in the dunk in the nolan film where someone's like goes to the raf guy well where were you where the fuck were you then right um but they're all they're all the fighting's happening above the clouds um so he says i was above the I was about the clouds.

21:21You couldn't see because there were clouds. He's like... So the Luftwaffe are fighting above the clouds. They're also, you know, they are like dive, the Stuka dive bombers, which are terrifying. And I think the noise of the X-Wing, not the X-Wing, the TIE fighter in Star Wars, that noise is based off the dive bomber noise, I think. They would just come out of the clouds and just be like, oh, fuck. And the planes are still pretty new as well. as we say they're sort of 30 you know they've only just realized women can't fly them that's how new they are oh hang on the tie fighter sound is a combination of elephant call the sound of a car driving on wet pavement i don't think it is when does a car drive on a wet pavement what like a sort of prius christmas market situation george lucas does that happen once and he was like that's brilliant that's a great sound what's that sound is that an elephant driving a car through a wet pavement yeah so the dive bombers are they're coming out the clouds and they're trying to bomb the ships but it's like it's like a needle in a haystack it's very hard for them to do it so they don't actually hit many at all no and also the smaller the ships the harder they are to hit so yeah and there's something about the basically pretty much all the ships didn't get hit or something like not that they didn't do any damage um so on the 30th of may all remaining british divisions and half the french first army are now behind the defensive line of the canals so they managed to get all the way behind the defense uh the panzers are withdrawn from the battle officially because let's we must not forget they've been doing meth for two weeks straight at this point and the RAF are defending the troops from the Luftwaffe um and they're able to sink they sink one transport and damage 12 others but 53 ,823 men are evacuated all from the east mole um so by this point people are like okay we're cooking now yeah now we're cooking on gas uh 31st of May, Gort, the man who...

23:12Gort. Gort, mastermind of the retreat. He gets 68 ,000 troops evacuated. Still gets slagged off. Including some French soldiers. Okay, maybe we should be slagged off. Maybe, yeah. And then Alexander is left in charge of a 4 ,000-strong rearguard defence. The 1st of June, the Luftwaffe destroy four destroyers. Okay, so they do destroy some vessels. Okay, and 27 smaller vessels. But 62 ,000 troops evacuated. Big numbers. And then on the 2nd of June, the last of the BEF are evacuated. The BEF. And yeah, Tennant, who's the guy leading it, he gets a megaphone. And bear in mind, everyone's gone. And he gets a megaphone and he goes up and down the beach in a little boat going, Any British?

23:56Any British? Anyone? This is your final call. Last orders. Ding, ding, ding, ding. And no one answers. And then he goes back. Well, he rings the bell. He rings the bell. He rings the bell. Come on. Last orders. Yeah. 26 ,000 go, and then by the 3rd of June, they go back and get 75 ,000 more French, which I think is a disgrace. Yeah. So now they're just doing victory laps. Yeah, they're like, well, we'll get some French then if we want. I mean, this is crazy. And then the remaining 40 ,000 French soldiers surrender on the 4th of June, I guess, because we're just like, ah, no, I can't be honest.

24:28Well, they're like, can you let us stay here? We really like surrendering, so. What have you found, Charlie? Our editor, Jim's granddad, was on the final boat out of Dunkirk, and that was the age of... The last one! The HMS Shakira? The HMS Shikari. Oh, right. What anime nerd named that? It's a Jim's dad somewhere on that. Her ship don't lie. Granddad, even. Last one. I mean, that's... Shout out to Jim's grandp. That's the dream if you're a Brit, right? The last... You want to be the last one on? Yeah. Last one off the beach. Last chopper out of Saigon. Yeah. Jim's granddad was the last man to fuck Bonnie Blue.

24:58What a hero. What a hero. Last man standing. So at the conclusion of Dunkirk,

25:06338 ,226 troops evacuated. over nine days. See, only 59 % were British. So the foreigners are on small boats crossing the Channel. It starts here. And we did it to ourselves. 39 % were French. Yeah. This is never talked about. Yeah. There was a lot of Indian soldiers there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 39 % are French. Yeah. And all we've done is we've just gone, well, why don't you come over here and surrender? Yeah. Do you want to surrender over here? Do you want to surrender here or over there? Yeah. a thousand ships and vessels participate in the evacuation including around 700 civilian crafts so there's this image of like um like in the film just like pedlows yeah flint offs in a pedlo like just random people some bloke comes into a pub in kent and goes oh they needed a dunkirk everyone getting a boat but actually the navy just requisitioned it the navy just took all the boats yeah and it was oh so it wasn't this like no there was there was like maybe i don't know maybe 30 50 people civilians who actually manned it but it was mainly just navy just taking boats but we should talk about one of the amazing stories is that lightoller yeah who was one of the commanding officers in the titanic and maybe the highest series not the eye toller not eye toller as i told a community um i guess you know i think we talk about so much history I'm always like trying to see if we it's like trying to teach like an AI information from a base it's difficult he can't see or hear he can't see or hear he's just hit the microphone with his head but we've done so many issues I'm always like when we build the link between episodes I just wonder if there's like a connection being made so I just thought with Lightoller bless him there is even for me I was looking at Lightoller from Titanic I was like I can't believe these two episodes yeah we didn't plan these together and now these characters are re-emerging popping up yeah I thought you'd have a moment and you're like what the eye to oh my god the ayatollah was at duncook what in a boat the ayatollah got in a boat came from iran no wonder he's so grumpy yeah it's a fucking big old journey the small boat dodge grumpykins all the way no it's not the ayatollah bless you charlie um it's uh lieutenant lightoller lightoller who i think was in the titanic series was it that lightoller and someone else look i told a murdoch was it yeah two sides of the boat there were commanders getting people off him either side.

27:28Who was the one who was slightly worse than the other? Well, they were the ones that had differing interpretations of women and children first, didn't they? Right. And one of them supposedly shoots himself. So I guess it's not him, is it? It's not Lightoller if he then later... Lightoller doesn't take a boat. No. He holds on to... He's one of the few people who gets rescued from... But how old would he be? He must be quite old at this point. Charles Lightoller. Born in 74. Is he in his early... No, he's in his late 60s when he does this. I'll be screaming, coward coward he comes back alive coward he comes back to dunkirk and i'm not getting on that ship you're coward you went down with your ship um i mean it is a bit like him getting out of both of these i would be looking at him like i feel like if i if i'm on the beach and i'm he's like oh have you got sailing experience yeah it's on the titanic well i'm not getting in your boat fucking idiot wait i think light hollow was on the titanic

28:29that might be it that might be the dumbest that might be I think that's the stupidest thing that's the stupidest thing you've ever said and you're a fucking idiot everything you say is stupid that's the stupidest thing what do you think we've we've said the word Titanic several times several times right in the last two minutes we've said the word Titanic so many times ah what's the point of this podcast i don't know i don't know if we say history then 50 minutes later charlie's like just says it again i feel your mind blown it's just gaslighting is what it is it's constant gaslighting it makes me think you know when you said the eye toller that's when i was saying bringing up the light tunnels in the titanic i thought you meant he went for a swim i actually thought you guys are gonna be really happy that i realized that no no so yeah he was at Dunkirk.

29:16That's why we're talking about it. And he was also, we were talking about it because... So he survived the Titanic. That's pretty mad. So Charlie, you know the series now we're doing on Dunkirk? I know in your massive headphones. You're in the series that's going into your headphones right now. We're currently talking into your ears. So these aren't your thoughts. These are us speaking. Maybe I just heard you and then it got through. You forgot? I forgot. Your brain ordered a halt order of the information. Yeah. Yeah. There's a big hole to order. When's that hole to order going to be rescinded, by the way?

29:49When are they going to fix your brain? I don't know. This week I'm going to go Specsavers. I don't think Specsavers will work on your brain, Charlie. Eyes, ears and head. Can you do anything for my head? Is there a Headsavers I can go to? Specsavers, that's what you need. Fucking hell. Right. Christ, that's really just taking the wind out of me. Just the most phenomenally stupid thing ever. That's the dumbest he's ever been. The dumbest he's ever been. Yeah. Genuinely, like, took my breath away there was silence there was dead air that's how much we were both just shocked we were staring at Charlie's realisation there the way Hitler would be staring at a deserted Dunkirk beach on the 4th of June like I can't how have we let this happen?

30:29how have we let this happen? Göring you fucking fat cunt you were meant to bomb these fuckers what happened? oh you know you got the gum? so Leitola Charles Lightoller who as Charlie has just informed us was on the Titanic really believe it or not incredible what a life he gets in his little boat and he picks some people up I don't know how many but he yeah he helps the evacuation which is a lovely narrative story for someone who had potentially shot women and children shot men women and children on the Titanic to go it's like a redemption thing it's a redemption arc yeah this episode is brought to you by PayPal you know how a mom's bag has everything sunscreen snacks A stapler?

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31:53Apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval, AppleCard is issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at AppleCard.com. push your limits train with precision see the results at equinox that's high performance loving everything you need to lock in and unlock your potential at equinox start today at equinox.com so what what are the repercussions of uh dunkirk on the 4th of june after dynamo operation down where ends and dunkirk is evacuated churchill delivers his we shall fight them by the ben on the beaches we shall fight them in the bin we shall fight them in their toilets fight them in their birthday which i listen to we shall fight them on the beach um hi yeah i'm actually no my wife works um she comes back late from work so i i we're pregnant we're pregnant we're having a third yeah no it's Shab turn to leave I'm going to take the time off actually I'm not even we're not married I'm not even the father I'm her birthing partner yeah I have to leave the rooms so she can masturbate yeah which is fine actually yeah I prefer it that way I wouldn't want to do anything that makes her uncomfortable well your fucking voice is creeping me out so that's pretty uncomfortable nonce

33:17this is what a nonce looks like more like better it come back this is what a nonce looks like can we get any edit of that this is what a feminist looks like change feminist to nonce can we get that up Ben Lee Gumbach this is what a nonce looks like smuggler this is what a nonce looks like yeah it's that but it just says nonce yeah Jeffrey Epstein's there Taylor Swift's yeah anyway so Churchill delivers the famous speech and and also there should be a Nuremberg trial for everyone who wore this t-shirt yeah they should because they'd be as justice ashamed they should be wearing the t-shirt out the trial and I'd like to be the judge exhibit A look at this guilty and I guess what would the poetic justice be in the way that like Hurst was hanged at Auschwitz what would the they'd have to like get two guns and go like and like shoot themselves with guns or something listen to themselves on podcasts on repeat liking, got time and obey yeah I don't know there'd be something with the pointing that would point themselves while they're getting shot in the head like it's what execution looks like use cosmetic surgery to force their face to be this smug forever so they have to walk around like this yeah um anyway right so churchill delivers this famous speech which there's a nice little aside in that after he makes the speech he turns to his aide and says and we'll fight them with the butt ends of broken beer bottles because that's bloody well all we've got yeah very nice very droll churchill very funny guy um but you know the british public i guess this G's them up and there's a whole it fires everyone the fuck up everyone gets fucking fired up at this fucking yeah fucking yeah fuck it we'll do it live you know because I suppose this is as we you know in this series we start with the phony war the war hadn't really been real suddenly the Germans start this sort of chem warfare chem sex warfare and then you know we're completely fucked we're buggered we're in a corner and then you know the miracle of deliverance Churchill calls it And he says in his speech, he goes, you know, wars aren't won by evacuations.

35:20But it is a brilliantly written speech. But I listened to it in researching this. And it is so like... The delivery is not great. No, it's pretty like... Yeah, the writing is good, but it's pretty droney. Find the speech, Charlie. Do you think Keir Starmer could do a... We will fight them on the beaches. We will fight them on the land again. Wars are not won by evacuations. Yeah. Well, we won't necessarily fight the landing grounds because it depends if they're showing aggression. I spat in Antioch the Vader, who's got tongues too big for our mouth. We'll fight them on the bench as... If necessary, videos.

36:01If necessary, alone. So drunk. Drunk as man of all time. Remember, he's 35 when he's saying that. He's got that sort of English vicar. I mean, it's brilliantly written, but it is delivered like a bored drunk man yeah it's like the shipping forecast yeah it really is Yorville Town 2 Wicked Wanderers 0 yeah it's the scores and the doors yeah it's the scores yeah Crew Alexandra 3

36:35and you're trying to work out what the score was by the intonation that they when they go like Chelsea 4 Manchester United 5. They always have to end it. Yeah. You know, it's always. And then they go, um, Charlton Athletic versus Wicked Wanderers. 5 p.m. Do you ever have that thing where you stayed up to watch Match of the Day but you're too tired and you fall asleep to watch Match of the Day? Oh, yeah. And you wake up to this guy. Yeah. And it's just like a British fever dream. Like, you're half awake. Wicked Wanderers. That's Churchill. Five of them are the makers.

37:19and everyone's like what a brilliant speaker fuck yeah yeah everyone's like this guy he gets it Ayatollah's here Ayatollah's like yeah yeah do Saudi Arabia when they beat Argentina AK-47s oh yeah this is what this is British people after Churchill's speech it's rousing England Churchill has sort of had a big dinner Christmas dinner and he's now playing charades with the family imagine that acid reflux burps he does Churchill has never been more acid reflux than Churchill this is Britain after Churchill's Wheel Fight Mother Bitchy speech the doors come off the hinges get that out of there