The Ancient World’s Jeremy Kyle | Cleopatra (Part 1)

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1:08The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+. This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu, now streaming on Disney+. Read PG-13.

1:42welcome back to finvers history as ever i'm joined by horatio gould

1:49nearly nearly it was close we are in what is yeah what are you doing there then i think when a film opens up in Egypt. Yes. So it'd be like, I don't know, you'll probably be, you'll be in the UK or America and it goes, they'll find out on the map and it'd be like, it's down the Nile.

2:12But this is, this is crucial. The sun setting over the pyramids. But this is pre-Islamic warbling. Yes. Crucially. It doesn't matter in Hollywood. It doesn't matter too much, I think. No, but I'm just saying for our, the sake of our heads to being attached to our necks. Yes, sure. What you just did was not an Islamic war bomb. My army. Oh, yes, of course. This is pre-Arab. We're in ancient Egypt. Pre-Mohammed. Or is there nothing pre-Mohammed? I don't know. Hey? I was thinking it's pre-Mohammed. I don't know if that's... Easy. Is anything pre-Mohammed or is it all meant to be post-Mohammed? Well, are we in the...

2:45These days. Are we on the year... Are we in the year 1400? Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? It's not for us to say. It's not for us to say. but now we've said that it's not pre-Atlamic warbling it is quite fun to just do an Atlamic warble in your own head and you go well I'm actually doing it but we're in ancient Egypt we're in ancient Egypt we're talking about Cleopatra this today probably the most famous woman maybe ever yes probably the femme fatale yeah she's sort of goated and based compared to Joan of Arc in my opinion oh Joan of Arc's complete dirge we did an episode on her and it was bollocks boring woman oh I'm French and I'm wearing trousers Donovan was kind of woke nonsense.

3:24Do you want a medal? She was very like holier than thou. Yeah. She thought she was better than people, but Cleopatra, she gets down and dirty. She's cunning. Yeah. And I respect that. Well, she uses sex as a political weapon. She's a sexual terrorist. Yes. She is the sort of, you know, it's the long road to Liz Truss. Right. You know, sex is inseparable from her political image. You know. It's the opening to her biography. You should do a biography. Of Liz Truss. three volumes. Yeah, yeah, but it's just me really, really horny on those political pin-up years. just a short review of the female comedian.

4:01Yeah, but also, you know, opening a film about Liz Truss. Yeah. Where's she from? Do you know where she's from? I think she grew up in Greenwich, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah. MP for Norfolk. You know, you have the flat, the Norfolk sound, you know, the flats of Norfolk. It'd be good whenever films do open with that sort of warbling i do think there should be a pan towards the person doing it because there never is yeah yeah and it'll take you out of it completely because you're there you know in gladiator they do it all the time yeah yeah but you never have the pan down to just someone going god she's only 50 trust my god she wears it well she's born in oxford so yeah it'd be the dreaming spies of oxford and then the soundtrack would be

4:50and it'd be the trust yeah ancient ancient trust epic anyway we're not talking about lisa trust although we sort of are we're talking about the trust archetype yes what do you get if you cross this trust with muhammad salah you get cleopatra cleopatra the symbol of female sexual power yeah and a part of she's very contested obviously we'll get into all the race stuff Because most of the sources are all from her enemies or Romans. So it's hard to know. Exactly. It's basically like only having Hello magazine. Well, not even that. Because would you say they're enemies of like the Beckhams? Yeah, probably.

5:24Yeah. Well, that's a very political issue that I don't want to go into. Okay, sorry. We should draw a line somewhere. We don't want to get into the broil. I want to keep my head on my neck. Yeah, we can't have. Victoria Beckham's people will cut your head off. Probably more than any radical Islamist. We've actually got Brooklyn Beckham as a researcher for this episode. so yes uh that's what i mean that's been doing this whole podcast and i will say is when we get into cleopatra's family it's about as fruity as the beckons it's fucked it's completely fucked it makes me think fucking what kind of family do i have compared to this this is crazy it's fine yeah now do you want to explain because this is we're in the ancient world and something that always gets said about cleopatra by very very very boring podcasts yeah is that she lived closer to the invention of the iPhone than she did the building of the pyramids.

6:13She lives closer to Liz Truss getting bummed by quasi-quarting. Than the invention of the pyramids. She lives closer to fucking Jimmy Savile donating to charity than the pyramids. You can pick anything. Pick anything. She lived in sort of... This is actually, this is the kind of ancient history, Galacticos era, in that I'd say from about 50 BC to 50 AD... Well, it's the Avengers, isn't it? Yeah, that's what I mean. it's the ancient avengers they've set up all these characters and they have this big crossover film yeah and it's a big box office success but what's what's funny about Cleopatra is that I assumed researching there'd be loads of Egyptian nonsense that we had to learn about yeah but actually there's none of it because they didn't know how to write yeah so really it's all from the Roman and it's a borderline not Egyptian no it's sort of Alien vs Predator it's just that it's crossing of two big franchises well three almost to be honest but yeah I think that fact It's as boring as it is, it does sort of, there's been 3 ,000 years of Egyptian history with sort of a continuity.

7:13So that vibe, basically the vibes are immaculate for Egyptian culture. And that's what's kept them through. Yes. It's just every time someone's come there, they're like, well, this is pretty sick. I'm not going to change it for 3 ,000 years. And it basically goes all the way from around the pyramids till Cleopatra, which is about 2 ,500 years. Cleopatra is basically the end of this. We also have Julius Caesar at the same time. We also have Augustus, Mark Antony. Jesus. Jesus is coming. So this is very much - The Jews have been expelled? Yes, I think so. I mean, that doesn't place it at all. It does place it.

7:50Okay. It does actually. Why? Because the Jews started being expelled in this time. Okay. Before this, in the Great Pyramids time, I think Jews were being left to Jew. Right. To Jew in peace. Do Jews start here? I don't know. No, Jews have been going longer than, as long as the Egyptians, pretty much. Jews are, the first man was a Jew in their life. Abraham is considered the first Jew. Don't slag him off. It's funny, it does sound like a slur, doesn't it? 2 ,100 BC. So the Jews and Egyptians are old. Oh, fucking hell. Yeah, it's old as fuck. Right. So I guess this is also when time just moves a bit slower.

8:26Yes. Like 3 ,000 years now. It feels like AI's come in the last four years and things are all changing very quickly. but then it was like 200 years and maybe you've invented a new belt yes in that time so it doesn't mean as much no but i did go to egypt about four months ago to the nile cruise down uh through all this stuff and it is you can literally go to place where you see like cave paintings from 6 000 bc and see them slowly working it out to becoming egyptian hieroglyphs and throughout you can see your dad trying to make up for leaving the family yeah there's it's going there you can You can see, but it's slowly coming into focus.

9:03The whole time your dad's going, and look, look, we're in Egypt. We're in Egypt. Forget about what I used to do. And yeah, this is my new Thai bride, but we're in Egypt as a new family. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, slowly. And it's slowly changing through that. So who's Cleopatra? Yeah. She's not Egyptian. No, she's from the Ptolemaic dynasty. Where is it, Charlie? Wasn't she so inbred that she had two great-grandparents? You're meant to have eight. Well, there's a lot of inbreeding going on. But we'll get to that. You've got eight great-grandparents. Yes. She had two. Yes. Which means her mum's and dad's mum and dad were their mum and dad.

9:39Yeah. Her mum and dad shagged and then so... Yeah, her family tree is the twin towers. Yeah. Yeah, it is. It's just two lines. It's basically her great-granny's sister. And she's ground zero? Yeah. Yeah, right. Ground zero for a lot of things. How inbred could you get... Like, before they just die straight out of the fanny, how long would it take you to... how inbred can you make someone before they just die immediately or they become a block? I mean, listen, Charlie, Egyptian society nowadays is flourishing. Yeah. And as we'll see, centuries, decades of inbreeding. Only in the royal line, though.

10:12I don't know if it was cultural. I think it was just seen as like a very classy thing to do. Right. Yeah, it's tasteful. Only the best. Only the best. Selective inbreeding. Yeah. It's all ancient Egypt and then Alexander the Great comes along in about 500 BC. He takes over everywhere. And he's Greek. He's Greek. He's Macedonian. he takes over everywhere and then similar and then he dies when he's 30 because he doesn't he's sick of adulting he doesn't he's scared of adulting I think and similar to when Genghis Khan's empire fell apart and there was like four little chunks all his generals try to grab what they could yes and the cheeky Ptolemy who's one of Alexander the Great's generals Ptolemy the First he goes to Egypt because he sees that's the richest but he also steals Alexander the Great's body from the funeral procession sick takes it and sets up the city that alexandra set up alexandria right yes and then establishes the ptolemaic dynasty which is basically a kind of greek egyptian line so even though there's loads of like they are not getting out of bed no they are snoozing the alarm clock double whammy greek egyptian yeah my god so i think if you go down the nile there's still like a lot of egyptian culture it still looks like egypt but alexandria is a distinctly greek city so you go it's got pillars it's like yeah the ptolemaic dynasty decide to only call every man ptolemy yeah which is very confusing unbelievably confusing it started with him being very sneaky and it feels like it's quite a toxic family line the one thing they do take from egyptian culture it's fucking your sister which is quite funny a bedrock of egyptian because i think there's a there's maybe arguably there's never been more cultural ip to choose from than the ancient egyptians and it's funny arriving there and being like yeah they're boring boring boring boring can i fuck my sister brilliant pyramids how do they build them how did you stop fucking your sister she's so delicious um and it ends up uh making it a complete fucking nightmare because there's so much infighting because you marry your sibling but you're also fighting to who who runs the but imagine imagine yeah imagine having the kind of just classic sibling dynamic yeah but on top of that you're fucking so you've got hormones all over the place yeah and you're also jockeying for political position.

12:27Yeah. It's a nightmare. It's an absolute nightmare. It's three brothers, two sisters. You're all like, basically it's like Christmas, but you're putting keys in the bowl. You know what I mean? It's a keys in the bowl Christmas. Christ. If I ever come back and I say, how was Christmas? Keys in the bowl. Shoot me. I don't want to remember what I've done. What's your Christmas like? My God. Sorry? Is your Christmas at all like this? Well, because I imagine it's just sort of like a Berlin nightclub when you come home for Christmas. Yeah. There's no photos allowed at my Christmas. We go downstairs and there's, you know, what goes down there stays down there.

13:00But quite often, you know, my aunt will just be trussed like a chicken hanging from the rafters. And one of us will be sort of, you know, pounding on the rubber fist because it's boxing day. Of course. That's what we do. It's tradition. Fisting day. It's fisting day. In the Taylor household. In the Taylor household, you know. We blend our Christmas. We don't actually call it Christmas. We call it Winterville. Yeah. No, my Christmas is mainly just, it wasn't relaxing. It was just running after. I mean, you really appreciate childcare. As I've said a lot of times, work will set you free. That was about something else, wasn't it?

13:31Sorry? That was about something else. Well, yes, it's just what I've got tattooed on my arm. You can be an Egyptologist in the way that I might be a Naziologist. Right. But it's funny, there's no other area of history, there's no other country where you are an ologist because Egypt is such a vast... It's got so much there. So much history and it's so old. Yeah. You know, you're not a Greco-logist or a Romanologist. You know, the classics, they mailed those together. Yeah. you're an early modern you know that's the whole world egyptologist is unique you know it's a uniquely massive fucked society is it you're definitely the opposite of a gynecologist right yes i think there's no crossover between anyone who's an egyptologist i think you you just have not even a rudimentary understanding of how a female pussy works no of course not you're an egyptologist i mean you could probably dig in a vagina but you would be it would be like uncovering Tutankhamun's tomb unless there's one person who found like the head of Ramesses in a vagina and they went well he's an Egypt gynecologist he wouldn't even go in there though no he wouldn't as much as I want to go in there it's too dangerous can you get the photo of Howard Carter and all his little lackeys discovering Tutankhamun's tomb because the idea that this guy this is him giving going down on a womb for the first time basically he's just covered with little men in fezzes and like sticks yeah yeah there he is there he is and he's got like a candle yeah He's uncovered treasures.

14:53He's pleasuring a woman. That's nice. So this stuff, I love the 19th century discovery of Egypt stuff and the birth of Egyptology. Yeah. The actual... Sort of imperial archaeology. Yeah. Using basically ancient history as an imperial weapon to subjugate people. Yes. That's what you like. Yes. I like it when the Nazis went there. You don't know your own history, so shut up. I like Indiana Jones. I like Nazis in Egypt looking for relics in order to find a stone that makes them more powerful. is a great theatre for history Nelson and Napoleon fought a naval battle here Hitler it still has this allure where people if they want to see themselves as a great figure in history they want to get involved in Egypt yeah because it's a very historic country but as you say Cleopatra is right at the end it's like the long room it's like Lord it's like there's a Egypt is the long room of the world the Egyptian hum yeah this episode of Finverse History is brought to you by Sir Shark woohoo guys Guys, look, you've heard it from us before.

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18:21Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu is now streaming on Disney+. What are you waiting for? Hop on. The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+. This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt. Star Wars, The Mandalorian and Grogu. Now streaming on Disney+. Read PG-13. So yeah, she's the end of the Ptolemaic dynasty. So it's literally every single one is called Ptolemy. So it's Ptolemy I, Ptolemy II. Now we're all the way up till... What's Cleopatra's father? Ptolemy VIII or something, or XII? Ptolemy VIII, nicknamed Fatty, married his sister who had been previously married to their brother.

19:11This is nothing weird here. Married sister. It's my brother's ex. But it's your sister. It's my sister. First. It's your sister first. Well, which is stronger? Yeah. But I mean, what was first? But maybe they cancel each other out. Yes. Hey man, you're fucking my ex. I'm your sister. Oh, this is a good idea. Oh, okay. Yeah. So they'd been previously married to their brother. Then he married, the sister married a brother. Yes. And then his brother married her. Yes. And then she had a kid with him with the old brother with the old brother yeah the old brother yeah and then he starts fucking her and that means he then and to her he married his niece daughter-in-law stepdaughter and his ex-wife's daughter that's all one person i'd love to see that dynamic play out because that's not i don't think that's like a archetypical relationship that you see represented in in media or literature or art yeah i tell you how that that girl probably sounded because there's no way she managed to get through that without any kind of genetic issues.

20:12And then Fatty, when his first wife, his sister, his sister, complained. Yeah. I don't know what she got to complain about. Move on, love. Yes, Christmas will be difficult. It's always difficult. It doesn't matter whether you're related or not. It doesn't matter whether you're related or not. Just put your keys in the bar and shut up. He chopped up their son and sent it to her as a birthday present. Right. But it's his son as well. Yeah. It's pretty spicy stuff, that. I mean, that's pretty rich. I think that's fucked. He's not a good guy. No. This is worse than like Errol Musk. This is sort of...

20:48It's just obvious, isn't it? It's obvious. She's a bloke. It's obvious. And then, which is kind of sick from her, she then shows the remains of her son to the Alexandrians. And they're like the French, right? They're ready for a riot whenever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go berserk as soon as you fucking set them off. As soon as you rattle their cage, they're going crazy. But then I guess what he's like, oh, don't show them that. Well, don't show them that. Yeah, obviously, without context, it looks mental that I've chopped my son up. But if you understand that - It's not just my son. That's my ex-wife, sister, and decent daughter-in-law's brother.

21:18Yeah. So by 69 BC, is this, are we in the 69 BC? Brothers and sisters, 69. Brother and sisters, 69 at hotmail.com. That will be one of our fans' email addresses. All our fans will have 69 in their email address or their password. Yeah. They're probably watching Toilet May at Porn. Is that a thing? I don't know, maybe. If you're into incest stuff, there's nothing. Well, this is probably the original step-mum gets stuck in, what it would be, lake? What's a washing machine? Mom gets stuck in tomb? Step-mum gets stuck in lake machine. 69s. I think we know what it is, Charlie. Yeah, I know what 69.

21:52The earliest one is. All right, fair enough, Charlie. Sorry. Sorry, Charlie. I should have assumed. Speaking to the mic when you're adding to the... I was trying to find out when this first ever 69 was represented. When is the first ever 69? The earliest unequivocal representation of the 69 appears to be that on oil lamps preserved in the Munich Museum. Let's go, yeah. 1921? No way. Nah, come on. Come on. Indian art, fuck knows. Indian, of course. The Indians tried every single position. They're so horny. Yeah, the Indians are so horny. The Kama Sutra. They are, that's what I mean. Hello, princess.

22:23Hello. Send me your bobs. Wait, wait, is that two blokes? Yeah. No, I wouldn't. I probably want to be the standing up one. You don't want to be in front of the arsehole. yeah i just yeah i just think it'd be i'd find it really uncomfortable to suck someone off with my legs over their shoulder that way we've got quite a lot of history to get through we barely touched uh cleopatra's early life but what's something i don't understand from the ptolemies so that they're a fucked family sorry i just want to say the first people who invented the 69 just can we just have a moment they their heads must have exploded they must be like this is fucking brilliant.

22:58Yeah. But it's deeply disappointing 69. No it's not. Are you guys big fans of the 69? Yes. I think famously it's like I don't deserve this. That's what I think. This is the best thing. I'm having my knobs and I've got like that in my face. Yeah. You're taking the piss. You are taking the piss. Are you saying that while you're taking the piss? Don't take the piss. Are you taking the piss? Is that what you're saying? It's just like he's an Egyptologist. He's got a muff in his face. Why don't you like it? I think we should throw it out to the comments. No, we should throw it out to you first. These guys probably haven't 69.

23:31Hey? These guys probably haven't 69. They're 69 of themselves. I think it's pretty... They're nearly 69 of themselves. I think it's pretty common law that it's a disappointing act. Why? Common law? Because I think when you hear about the 69 when you're a teenager, it's like, that sounds amazing. That's as debauch as it gets. But I think it actually ends up being rubbish. Why? But you haven't said why. I think it's just... I don't actually think it's that erotic in the end. i think it's just sort of like i don't think it works as well it's like having when you get really excited for a bath and then it's just not quite what you thought it's gonna be because the the taps to digging into your back too small yeah when a bath's too small is what it feels like right okay that and you're really excited for it but it's like why do i never have a bath and maybe you need some of the with maybe there's the height differences yeah maybe so anyway so clear cleopatra uh she's born in 69 yeah which is why we've been talking about 69 so one thing i want to say is because how fucked the Ptolemies are yes it is interesting that they build Alexandria which is the greatest city in the world at this point and they build the library of Alexandria which has apparently every single Greek book ever written uh and it it goes missing oh no yeah we lost hundreds of years of civilization when it burned down yeah all right what you think it's a load yeah oh no it's loads of books in there we written we did loads I promise not to go yeah all right mate yeah sure i just don't understand how these guys fucking their brothers and sisters killing their sons uh they seem like absolute scumbags how are they uh presiding over this kind of kind of golden age this is probably how the pyramids were built isn't it it's just a lot of guys who couldn't think but they were strong right right yeah probably cleopatra is born in 69 in alexandria and she is a princess in the ptolemaic house her father is ptolemy the 12th and by this point the the dynasty is kind of crumbling a bit there's you know this is the this is the just the end of the roman republic yeah rome is the major power in the mediterranean caesar's about caesar's knocking about now basically the roman form of having a senate decide everything that's crumbling because rome's getting too big the kings are only really surviving in egypt because they're paying roman politicians uh bribes this means that they're then taxing the population a lot they're getting vassalized basically borrowing from roman bankers to keep up with their own debts to rome so they're in kind of rome's grip yeah but they're such a emergent power but they're such a rich country that rome's kind of just letting them yeah kind of carry on i think yeah so her father is probably the 12th she's got loads of brothers and sisters who end up she marries all of them when she's around 10 or 11 and should we should we talk about her beauty because that's kind of the thing sorry i know that sounded very pedophilic what i just did there sorry she's 10 or 11 let's just talk about how fit she was no but i'm what i mean is before we set up she gets too old yeah look i've dug myself a big hole there okay uh i apologize my point was before we get into the narrative of cleopatra let's talk about what she's known for which is being supposedly incredibly beautiful yeah she's a she's a very famous historical symbol right elizabeth taylor in the film well she's been painted as such because she's the she's the kind of trust of the ancient world no one's chucked her fanny about with more effect basically and that's probably why people assume that she was an absolute dime piece but we think this might be roman propaganda and then sort of victorian propaganda because when you look at her actual appearance on coins she looks fucking clapped she's got a big nose big nose sharp chin yeah bald she wore a ball she was bald she was bald and wore a wig yeah i think i think that's what they did right yeah there's a photo of cleopatra up she looks nice yeah that's not her is it that's an AI representation of a fit woman dressed as Cleopatra yeah it says you've got like big hooked nose look at there there she wasn't hideous she was just mid basically right but I do have a lot of respect for women in general who all right mate we get it yeah look at this guy I've got a lot of respect for women in general this is what a feminist looks like Christ when will you get off your soapbox I hate 69ing I hate 69ing because it degrades them it degrades them yeah yeah because i just want to be of service and i hate the idea that i'm getting i only want to go down on them yeah because i'm a gynecologist i wear the t-shirt wear the t-shirt while i go down them no i have a bib that says this is what this looks like so a man called blaze pascal said quote had cleopatra's nose been shorter the whole face of the world would have changed what's that supposed to mean supposed to be that she is such a symbol of beauty and and as as trust using sex as power.

28:06You know, the whole... But is he saying because people wanted to fuck her because she had a fucking massive honker? Maybe. But normally your nose is too big. Why would her nose be... Why if her nose was shorter, would she not get any dick? Because beauty standards loved it, enjoyed a big nose at this point. I guess because you could sit on it. Yeah, exactly. You want to... Fuck me. I can't wait to sit on that. I can't wait to sit on that. As a bloke. I don't think it works. It just can't work. my neck. I don't think I don't think that is a difference I want that nose up my arse now. That is a difference between male and female sexuality is that women don't want men to sit on their face.

28:42No. No they don't. I don't really don't think it's particularly erotic. I mean a big heavy fat bloke sit on your face. There's no worse part than a hairy gooch is there? Where the fanny would be is the worst part of this. I also think if you're a man sitting on a woman's face I think when you're up there and you're now alone because she's immersed I think there's never more lonely place when she's got your balls in her eyes and you're just sitting there like this is lonely this isn't nice is she enjoying this? I'm not am I trying to kill her? I don't really know she feels I'm quite uncomfortable I've got a nose in my gooch so anyway Cleopatra's meant to be stunningly beautiful but at this point again she's 10 and maybe I've skipped but I respect women who identify as hot do you know what I mean?

29:25and this is a thing throughout history and I do I respect the sort of meritocracy of it you know to pull yourselves up by your fucking nose job or whatever yeah yeah yeah women who just like and you see this a lot imagine it's going there's just people who have decided no i am going to be hot and they've just kind of made it work where if they hadn't they could have easily been mid but they've just like they've it's confidence they've confidence and they've sold it that's what i respect that has is charisma and confidence so uh she's about 10 or 11 the dynasty the dynasty hits a crisis rome threatens to annex egypt so ptolemy pays bribes to pompey and caesar who are the two is it currently civil war at this point in rome yeah caesar and pompey are two generals roughly caesar's been off conquering gaul he's become very powerful as a roman general uh expanding the frontiers yeah so much so that he's basically making a grab for power yeah to overtake the old system of the senate yeah and then pompey is also going to do that he's also a big general and there's a civil war going on between the two of them so uh rome annexes cyprus in 58 bc Ptolemy doesn't really say Cypriot what you got there what accent you got for Cypriot oh come on mate yeah oh come on mate my neighbours are Cypriot yeah does it sound like that oh come on mate fucking hell fucking hell man ain't it ain't it ain't it it's very close to Chinese yeah London Cypriot it is close yeah fuck me man it's kind of Vietnamese it is fuck me man yeah it is the most probably the most percussive meh meh Say man with a M-A-N-G.

31:00Is that how you say man? It's the closest Europeans get to throwing a colander down the stairs. Anyway. Oh, fuck, ding, fuck, fuck. So Ptolemy, because he's in the pocket of Rome, stay silent on Cyprus's annexation. Your silence is deafening. Yeah, people are... Yeah, basically. They're like, speak out. Celebrities. Silence is complicity. They're changing all their Facebook browsers to Cypriot flag. Yeah, exactly. Ptolemy's not but then he's driven out of Alexandria by force by the population because they're very shirty these guys anything they don't like yeah so he flees to Rome and then Egypt gets put in charge Egypt gets put in the care of Cleopatra's older sister Berenice Berenice Berenice my name's Berenice Ptolemy begs Rome to reinstate him so he goes on this tour of trying to win favour which Cleopatra goes with him and this is where she first met they're all called Ptolemy so this is Ptolemy 12th we just say 12th totally the 12th clearpatrick's dad scott mctolemy scott mctolemy yeah we call this one scott mctolemy let's call this one scott mctolemy yeah brilliant so uh he obviously goes to naples scott mctolemy and does very well does very well convincing yeah but he shows that maybe it was the erotic man united that was yeah blighting his career it turns out he was being held back at man united clearly more cultural issues at the club he would go on to surpass Darren Fletcher in spades.

32:24Anyway, Scott Ptolemy remains determined to restore to power. Basically, the Romans invade Egypt and restore him. Because they like the stability of having a guy they know on the throne. Well, Scott Ptolemy, no one's more stable than him. You need him in your team. Anyway, Rome restores Ptolemy to power in 55. Led by General Gabonus, and there's a young cavalry commander called Mark Anthony who will come back into the story. Yeah. I do like Mark Antony because I don't know why everyone's got ancient names, but he just sounds like someone's uncle. He does sound like a footballer as well. I sound like a Dutch footballer.

33:03Mark Antony. Yeah. Is that a Roman name? You're right, Mark? Scott McTolemy and Mark Antony. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? Julius Caesar, Pompey, Augustus, Octavius, Mark. Hello, I'm Mark Antony. My name's Mark. My name's Nigel Clive. Yeah, I like going gym and on the weekends maybe sometimes. at Mark Antony 1992 yeah might have a pint sometimes anyway Ptolemy his first act after being restored to the throne is to execute his daughter Berenice you gotta get that done so Ptolemy names Cleopatra and her younger brother heirs just before he dies in 51 which is the same time this is when the Roman Empire really starts to fragment under Caesar and Pompey so Cleopatra comes to the throne around 17, 18.