The Ballad of Four Eyes, Never Full and Throwing Poo | The Battle of Little Big Horn (Part 2/4)

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0:57welcome back to finbass history and with the ratio goal it's part is that racist i don't know yes it is definitely why because it's it's um it is a cartoonish depiction of the native americans right which they they did do that though yeah but indian guys say hey bloody hell that's the thing you could do that that's very racist these guys aren't indians for christ's sake but i'm saying as an example that's like calling of the p word you couldn't meet an indian go bloody bloody hell even though they an indian man has said bloody bloody hell yes i'm only saying that for scientific reasons you know it's not but do you know what i mean it's the same thing not just or you do sound like that well they did do it and it was a war cry wasn't it yeah we're talking about native american war yeah okay yeah so yeah fair enough i just don't know if like a uh de-accurate fucking braggart um bunch of braggers bunch of braggers braggers if you ask me so uh we're talking about native americans uh this is custer's last stand in this part part two of our series we will be talking who the sioux and the cheyenne yeah uh actually were now columbus officially discovered the americas you again you put that in quotes phoebe you put discovered in quotes i can't fire you twice how many times columbus discovers erickson discovered the americans leaf erickson um sven gordon erickson discovered the americans in the middle ages so the native american population in 1492 is anywhere between two to 18 million that's not a good sign when when you see those sort of numbers it shows just how i question those numbers 18 million that's so big anyway but how diabolically they must have been wiped out in like 100 years if that's how rough the estimates are yes 18 you don't see that very often it is a very unsure estimate that's really like we don't have a fucking clue because i guess if by 1900 the population had dropped to around 600 000 then i mean i guess people only started counting when there was like none of them left yes they counted too late i guess didn't they uh so by the 1700s the british had expanded along the coast killing native americans and around 90 percent of americans are killed through european illnesses um so you know i suppose it's like you could argue that the brits the europeans they don't want them to die because they they are they're in a they're in a world where like slave labor is a thing so they're they're not trying to kill them yeah so how much you know um stigma should we attached should we say they killed them by disease no definitely not no they said they died yes i mean it's i can understand being upset that people came and brought a disease that kills 90 of your people yes like i could feel it's not like i don't know if you could have like a really like well i guess it's just the way of things well but the mongolians brought the black death yes and it's not like it's their fault right the exact same thing exactly yeah so no and that was also So that was always going to happen at some point in history, whether it was Columbus or if it happened 300 years later.

4:03Yeah. It was always going to happen. You know, a guy with a cold walks into a room. Yeah. You know, he's not racist. He's just got a cold. But what if he is racist? Well, he might be, but that's irrelevant. Okay, fine. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't know much about this guy. No, but neither did they. And was he racist? Well, yeah, it turns out he was. But, you know, he also had a cold. and to them the main thing was that he had a cold sure they didn't die by his racism they died because they'd rather he didn't have a cold and was racist than the other way around yes exactly the racism is by the pie they also don't have an immune system it seems it seems and it rips through the middle order does it not absolutely complete baton collapse for the native americans they're skittled um so they're not a single group they are hundreds of distinct nations with different languages, political systems, cultures.

4:55Now on the Great Plains, which is the sort of bit in between the coasts, I suppose. Did you have the DK book about the Native Americans? Yeah, I think so. Where it showed all the different pictures of the different, like the Plains Indians. There's also the Pueblo Indians, which are basically Mexican, like more Aztec-y sort of. And then I don't know who's on the coast, but like the idea of the big headdress, which is the kind of, if you have to draw a Native American, that's only the Sioux. Yes, and the Lakota and the Sioux. That's only Plains Indians, and that's only one very specific thing. So they're the most stereotypical in Native America.

5:30Yeah, ground zero. Yes, Charlie. What are the others wearing? Let's have a look. Let's have a look, Charlie. Helmets. There's no helmets, I don't think. No helmets. Just keep guessing. Maybe don't look and just keep guessing. Top hats. Now, I think the Mohican... Steampunk, there was steampunk Indians. The Mohican, that's, you know, the Mohicans, the last of the Mohicans. Do they have Mohicans? Well, I imagine so. I hope so. Where else would we get that word from? They're dreadlocks. What's going on there? Yeah. Charlie, you sometimes have a mohawk. Can we find out if the mohawk are? You're a Mohican, don't you?

5:58Dude, normally, yeah. I'm bald at the minute. You are. You've got Lex Luthor. Any of them bald? Sorry? Any bald? They actually don't have any natural balding gene. We've talked about this. They don't have the balding gene that doesn't exist. Really? That's why they all have head to hair. The only ones who don't are people who have, at some point, interbred with white. With white. White. But that's why they called white people when they came over uh eagles because they'd never seen those widows peaks now are they bald or are you just being tricked by their headdresses no they have feathers in their hair yeah of course yeah yeah yeah anyway um the mohawks are from upstate new york and uh but it's very different do they have do they have mohicans can we find out they do have mohicans so we're looking at a photo here of the various I'd say this is an ethnographic chart.

6:51Finn's penis. You called? This is an ethnographic chart of the various Native American tribes. To me, some look Russian, some look Chinese. There's some like South American, there's like Bolivian looking. Some look Mexican. And listen, I guess calling them all Indians, I suppose, you know, makes some sense. Yeah. In that, you know, you've got people who look like they're from Mongolia, people who look like from the sort of Siberia and Russia. It's all India. It's all India. Let's just call it India. Call it quits. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. So they're semi-nomadic. These plains tribes, their economies are focused on the buffalo.

7:27Yeah. The bison. Which is the bison. Yeah. Not the African buffalo. No. Well, we did check on the last one. They are different. They seemingly use interchangeably, but it's the bison. But on the script it says buffalo. Yes. But the Americans are talking about bison. Yeah. Right. I did think we fired our researcher before, so I don't know what she's still... I thought we had. I don't know what she's still doing here. for putting discovered in quotes like that. Anyway, the settlers are scared. And again, you put scared in quotes. Absolute woke extremist behind the script. Now, what's that supposed to mean?

7:58Was it saying that the settlers lied? These guys are fucking terrified. They're terrified. With axes and headdresses. Terrifying. Native American atrocities are widely reported. However, often omitted is the context of US total war. We don't need that context. It's still terrifying. Now, they would use guerrilla warfare the invisible warrior right so settlers are obviously accustomed to European style warfare cricket basically yeah we both line up on two sides we'll have a go shake hands win the toss go Native Americans are stealth ambush night raids they feel like they're always being watched by an invisible enemy and then here we get the war whoop a high pitched rhythmic yell used to coordinate movements yeah it's terrifying now that's not racist that's like well you know jackie chan in his fight scenes you know yeah yeah all of well that's racist well if he says that well then it's not but you know all those little things all those little that those are all um instructions to the other people to say that he's throwing a throwing a punch or a whatever right so i i big fan of rush hour series i watched the DVD extras of Rush Hour 3 where they went through a fight scene and it turns out all that that's all actual code for like I'm about to throw a punch there's one coming over here right whereas you can watch it as a white viewer and be like well that's just him that's just what all Chinese people like it's just him pouncing yeah anyway Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes zero sugar and vitamins Propel Hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self What propels you?

9:43Propel with Gatorade Electrolytes. Fall has never looked or tasted this good. Sweetgreen's fall harvest menu is back with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels and crave worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate and roasted bacon Brussels side. the season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen, featuring fall's best dressed. Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. Do you struggle to keep up with the news every week? The Bunker has got you covered. Every Monday, we release Start Your Week, where we go over the big stories to follow in the coming days.

10:26And then on Fridays, we have our weekly wrap-up, where we give you the context and the meaning behind the biggest and the weirdest stories of recent days. Search for The Bunker wherever you get your podcasts, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Morning War. This was a practice where if a tribe lost a member in battle, they would immediately go on a raid to capture a replacement and the captive would either be tortured or forcibly adopted to take the dead person's place. Yeah, I guess that's not very Western is the idea. Someone dies and you immediately replace them. No. But just someone from this village.

10:57Great replacement theory. Now, obviously the Native Americans have this sort of wackadoo concept of land ownership. yeah it's mental it's mental modal jazz it's free i don't know what i can't get a grip on their opinions here most tribes and i hope you're sitting down listeners they view land as a communal resource like the air bollocks complete bollocks i think they're they're mad you can't they say you can't couldn't own a forest any more than you can own the wind well you can own the wind of course you can own the wind i think we should privatize air more yeah exactly i would like my air to be cleaner than my neighbors yeah there's nothing we believe more in than private property yes Exactly.

11:37There's not enough private property in the world, I don't think. Settlers view this lack of fences and deeds as a sign of chaos, which I agree with. Yeah, it's chaos. It's chaos. You've got to fence things in. Obviously, there's this great divide in outlook between the settlers, the early capitalism. It's a cultural war. It is a cultural war. It's also a war war. War war was one of the chiefs, I think. War war. And so was culture war. that you yeah you they don't win the culture war native americans yeah i think or the war war yeah more importantly more importantly now by 1876 which is the battle of little bighorn which we are fast approaching uh the situation of native americans is thus by 1830 the indian removal act calmed down uh i'm just imagine that's rupert lowe and it's imagine yeah exactly wants is the Indian Removal Act.

12:30Some of our listeners went, who was? Is Nigel in? No, he's not in. The 1830 Indian Removal Act means the US government can forcibly displace Native Americans. So 60 ,000 people are displaced, which becomes known as sad times. The trial of tears. The trial of tears. And this results in the deaths of thousands of Native Americans. So this is, as we said last time, rounding them up, trying to get them into reservations to clear the path for the railways and the gold rush trails. It feels like with the race issue of Native Americans, it's obviously not, it doesn't feel as, it's not as much of a hot topic in the same way that black racism is or even Indian racism because it feels like because they've been so decimated, there's just not many of them around.

13:16So it feels like it's not a live issue and there's just a genuine sense of sadness I feel about the whole thing. No. So there's so many different people in America and Native Americans are sort of blended in. But also the middle of Australia is uninhabitable. Yeah. So there wasn't this great expansion through the country. Yeah. So there's still a lot more Aboriginals, I imagine. Than there are Native Americans. Charlie, can you find out how many Native Americans are there versus Aboriginal Australians? But there's not like any sort of call for reparations anymore or anything like that. Like it's still a live issue, reparations to African Americans.

13:51Yeah, and to white slave owners. I mean, yeah. Reparations go both ways, as we've said. Private property is the most important thing. That's my property. You've taken my property away. Native Americans. I guess like dentify, isn't it? Because in Australia, if you have any Aboriginal blood at all, you are Indigenous. Whereas I don't know if it's as strict in America. Oh, you were just out there, weren't you? Yeah, I didn't see any. I was in like Melbourne. Yeah. There's a lot, I think up north or in like the middle, there's a lot more. Did you feel, was there racially, do they feel like there was a weird well in the sense that like there's not none of them are about yeah but not like in Cape Town where it's you can't have you can't you can't fucking have a burger without them saying you've got to bless the burger they did a lot of that yeah I got a tour of the MCG and they were kind of blessing the land and like paying respect yeah yeah it just feels a bit hollow though yeah they're all dead then just tuck in take the win brother but also the ones that are alive are not getting any help yeah they're just so it's just completely performative yeah and now Native Americans they all run casinos now right yes now what's going on there i don't know because it's the only only seeming like foothold native americans have got in capitalist america seems to be the running of casinos i know both indigenous and native americans can't stomach alcohol well their bodies are not built for it but which is funny because native americans can stomach all kinds of you know you know mad ayahuasca type i think like you know northern europeans have been drinking beer and milk and stuff for thousands and thousands of years you've evolved we're the first straight guy like i got so i got so yeah i got to in ruins and now it's a long the long road to clocks and it is to build the clocks and it took thousands and thousands of years a straight guy just completely hasn't had a solid poo for 10 years just gets up now fuck it glass of milk pint who cares shitting like it like a horse while at the bar yeah he's just standing there just shit for you out of him no fuck it i'm probably fine i'm probably fine why uh do native americans all run casinos what's the and they were by the 1988 all right yeah they do to generate essential revenue for governments but the indian gaming regulatory act of 1998 casinos fund schools healthcare and infrastructure oh i see so they're considered sovereign nations the native american reservations which allow them to bypass state gambling laws oh interesting so it's not that they all run casinos it's that they can run casinos in areas where casinos aren't allowed so in the state of wherever in the reservation the only one allowed is a Native American one that makes a lot of sense well that's answered brilliant so we get to now just as the Americans have Custer this dashing cavalry charged guy soldier the Native American characters in this story are called Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse now Sitting Bull he's born in around 1831 and he's a hunk papa yes a hunk papa is the He's a fit dad.

16:54He's a dilf. He's a dilf. He's a spiritual leader of the Lakota, the Hunkpapa Lakota. He's the Archbishop of Canterbury, right? Yes. Sort of. Yes. And he's more like the Dalai Lama. Right. But of a very small tribe, because there's loads of them. There's loads of Hunkpapa's, aren't there? Yes. It's quite a few. Now, he was born at the Yellowstone River in Montana, supposedly. Firstly, his name is Jumping Badger. That's his first name. Yeah, that's like a nickname at school. Jumping Badger. Yeah. And then he gets nicknamed Slow because he's calm. But that's not a bad, that's not an insult in Native American.

17:33No, I guess. Slow here would imply you're thick. Yeah, that's not, that's not what they mean. And then age 14, he displays bravery by riding into a crow warrior camp naked. Now the crows are a rival tribe to the Sioux. That's what Charlie was doing while you were at the poster museum. Yes. I was at the Postal Museum with my kids, and you were naked all around Bermondsey, poking people with a stick. What you'd have to do is you'd have to, there's a thing called counting coup, where you have a big stick, and this is how you become a man in Native American society. It's like the bar mitzvah. Sort of, in that you'd have to go up to an enemy in a battle and just poke them.

18:12Not kill them, just like, ha ha. Oh, right. And then that's more honourable than killing them. It's all like getting PlayStation awards. for like really specific things, like five headshots, you get like a, you know, a trophy or something. Yeah, I don't know. But this was, I guess it's like, it's quite intense, isn't it? Yeah. In a battle. I mean, chopping someone's head off would probably be more intense. Well, that's what I'd say. But again, this is all, you know, Western centric. Western centric. It's considered the highest form of bravery. They have a special coup stick. They're playing coup sticks.

18:46So following this, his father, who was called Returns Again, transfers there he is oh back again are we um maybe that was his name back again are we here comes trouble are you staying put yeah I'm staying put I'm back here oh alright come on back again are we no I'm staying put staying put was his brother

19:06so it returns again transfers his own name Buffalo Bull Who Sits Down to his son who is now known as Sitting Bull but I guess Buffalo Bill Who Sits Down isn't quite as catchy yeah it's too long where is it Charlie What would be your Native American names? That's a good question. Eats Pies? Eats Pies. Oh, Eats Pies is back again. Always full? Always full. No, never full. Never full. Never full. I would be trying hard. You'd be chucked. No, you'd be chucked. You'd be chucked. You'd be chucked. Chuck and poo. It'd be throwing poo, yeah. Throwing poo. What would my one be, Charlie? Small lump. Small lump?

19:56No, it'd be gangly four-eyes. Yeah, yeah. Gangly four-eyes never fall and chucking poo are on their way. They're in a teepee. Can we find out? Can you pick your own one? Well, I don't, yeah, find out. I think you have to earn it. There's a level you have to earn it. And is it like being called like Norman? Is it, or is it? No, it's not like being called Norman. Do you get fruity? Because I don't think people earn Norman. What's like Chase or like Blue? Well, that's a good point. Maybe type in some of the madness American. Yeah. Would someone have been called like Throwing Poo? Sky or Apple. And someone else would be like, fucking hell, you named your kid Throwing Poo?

20:28That's crazy. Give the kid a chance. It's like a co-player named the kid Apple. And he's called like, I don't know, he's called like Fat Wind. He's like, fucking give Throwing Poo a chance. You can't call it again that. The name's evolved with milestones. But today would it be like Burger House? Burger House. like does it evolve in the kind of you know screen time yeah screen time screen time yeah we well i guess my kids screen time here now yeah i mean on weekends my kids are screen time that's what i call them screen time have a thing come here yeah i guess you it's it's so much about the name actually means way more in many ways because it's like it's the things you've done in your life as opposed to just being brian forever no matter what like brian forever is another one but you know when they called jeffrey epstein jeffrey jeffrey they didn't call him that because what he was going to end up being he would have been an island paedophile in native american yeah tones right icky massage yeah yeah so he's thinking very hard get the best american names find out some of the weirdest american names weirdest like what's you know if sitting bull is is john what's blaze you know wild rose partridge bird buck moon strawberry moon oh these are strawberry moon these all sound like vape flavors double apple triple mango mango um ball play i do think they've got probably got the best naming system definitely strange child crippled cricket pee poo milk smogs lame white man that's you lame white man crippled cricket crippled cricket these often reflect personal characteristics well it's kind of i guess it's um that well crippled cricket right means someone who's got specific physical defects right so i suppose their attitude to disability is quite blunt whereas in britain we're very like oh you know but they're like yeah fucked no legs legs fucks oh legs fucked in here yeah or hawkins be like fucking neck pillow fully fucked fully fucked full body fucked full body fucked yeah anyway Buffalo Bill who sits down Sitting Bull becomes a Lakota warrior and he aids Red Cloud in his war against the US in the mid 1860s we haven't placed this should we place 18 where do you want to place it from well the back little bit on 1876 let's play 1876 okay so that's this is after Waterloo right this is after the pony on it was uh and it is it's before um waterloo station surely don't know i don't know it's pretty good station was surely named after waterloo yes they did not but what's the date 1860 1876 no no no let's go type in water that's good that's tight 1848 look at that wow it's after the song uh waterloo sunset by the kinks but so 1960 yeah before that yes you're right um um fuck waterloo station wow so it was renamed waterloo station in 1886 1886 yeah that's when it was renamed ah there you go so i guess it does work yeah um so red clouds war had been sparked by the u.s military building forts along what they called the bozeman trail yeah which was one of the boss man trail yes please this way um this was the trail going from east through uh montana and or was that the oregon one i don't know that's i want to that's the place i want to go most at the moment i'd love to do amtrak uh across the yeah across the north if you want to get a car and do like a road trip that's what i'd love to do that love to do that amazing love to go to yellowstone all that who's yellowstone which guys sorry we haven't got to yellowstone yet um i think yellowstone probably built the um built the railways yeah probably yeah uh anyway supplies now in red clouds war there's a thing called the fettman fight fatty man fights yeah Fest Man Scoop.

24:29And this is the first major engagement that establishes our second big red Indian character, Crazy Horse. Now he is... He's sort of the Custer of Native Americans. He is. He's Native American Custer. If Sitting Bull is the kind of spiritual leader, Crazy Horse is the military guy. A supreme tactician, supposedly. What's that? Fuck me. That's Crazy Horse. It's like George Washington, but for Native Americans. That's Mount Rushmore, but it's Crazy Horse's face. But that's terrifying. Yeah. but no one knows what he looks like because he refused to be photographed now is that because he thinks the camera will capture his spirit or is that a myth no that's what he thought that's what he thought but then sitting ball was fucking getting loads of pics it was like getting another one oh yeah sitting ball was like oh yeah now the Fessman let me see that delete that delete that I look fat now the Fessman fight establishes Crazy Horse as a supreme military tactician he leads a group of warriors to act as decoys outside a US fort Fettiman, Captain Fettiman ignores orders and pursues the decoy I mean this is classic native, like this is this is Rourke's Drift type, this is Zulu, Horns of the Buffalo yeah, an innovator comes in in the indigenous community and completely blindsides, yeah, and they then get surrounded by 2 ,000 Lakota who are hiding in the bush, Lakota is another Red Indian tribe and the entire US attachment is wiped out in less than 30 minutes the fallen soldiers are heavily mutilated after death because this is they believe the native americans that how your body enters the afterlife is what your body will be like in the afterlife so they mutilate corpses hey noblesse they're always chopping knobs off and stuff yeah they are chopping knobs off yeah so no pussy for you basically basically no pussy but also like eye gouging uh scalping yeah uh who's no pussy for you the native american that's that's yeah no pussy for you is um he's the guy scalping um and then they also they chop testicles off and just leave them on like a rock for birds you got her yeah you got her so they're sort of they're sort of gibleting the um yeah the thing is there's there's the the peaceful side and there's there's a there's definitely a noble majesty to the native americans yeah so sorry so when phoebe were like why are they scared in brackets because they're chopping balls and knobs off it is easy to forget just how terrifying it must be yeah these guys because how fucking yeah i mean terrifying charging out the forest to chop your knob off they're really chopping a knob off they're on a horse they've got arrows and axes everything is like god club to death yeah brutal they've also got guns arrows war cries yeah terrifying yes so the fetterman massacre horrifies the u.s and proves that the lakota are some of the most powerful indians on the plains which directly leads to the u.s government closing the boss man trail and signing the fort laramie treaty of 68 which we talked about last episode that's the one where they say okay you can have the Black Hills, the sacred hunkpapa sites.

27:23No white man is allowed into the Black Hills. But Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse refuse to sign the treaty. They say, I wish all to know that I do not... I don't know how they sounded. Ian McKellen. Sorry? I was like Ian McKellen. It does sound like it. I could see your belly. It sounds like Patrick Stewart. I could see your belly. And I was sitting all the way over there. I wish all to know that I do not propose to sell any part by country yeah so he sees the northern pacific railroad as a threat to the sioux way of life the bison etc so he's right isn't he yes he's bang on he's he's sharp as attack this guy so in the 1870s he leads the hunk papa warriors to sabotage lots of new white settlements so crazy horse's proper name i don't know how i say that but in english it's his horse is crazy his horse be crazy his girlfriend be crazy bitches be crazy yeah now he's Ogala Ogla Ogla Ogla Ogla Ogla Ogla Ogla Big crazy horse cock Ogla Ogla his father was an Ogla Ogla man called Worm his mother was called Rattling Blanket Woman now oh you bloody Rattling Blanket Woman now Rattling Blanket Woman had a sister who was called Good Looking Woman so yeah so the blokes are checking picking the names so worm comes home rattling blanket woman thinks she's being cast out hangs herself well i'd have myself if i was next to good looking woman well she's rattling she's rattling a blanket all the time and then good looking woman uh marries uh rattling blanket woman's ex-husband her husband worm and raises a crazy horse so worm is given three sisters as brides by a village when he defeats the crow attack and the brides are called iron between horns kills enemy and red leggings red leggings yeah um so rattling blanket woman is crazy horse's mum but he's raised by good-looking woman his step-mom right fit step-mom gets caught in washing machine that is a red Indian name

29:33so crazy cock crazy crazy horse falls in love with black buffalo woman right some of these names are very you know you couldn't name people these days you couldn't do that i would oh fuck i just i would love it's similar to your way of seeing the world this is the most native american thing about you i see yeah good looking woman black buffalo woman like yes i care your name sarah you're a fucking rattling blanket woman thick man disabled woman yeah it's like a six-year-old just mommy who's that rattling blanket who's rattling blanket woman so black buffalo woman and is married to a man called No Water.

30:19Right. So One Vision says, he sees a warrior who says that if he dresses modestly, doesn't take scalps or touch tribesmen, he'd be unharmed in battle. So he fights with a painted lighting bolt on his cheek. Sort of a little Harry Potter badge. Right. As a sign of protection. That's another similarity with Custer, right? Because they both have this kind of invincibility feel about them. That's why they're so... Sort of a celebrity. So much about the charge. Yeah. They both kind of seem to have an ego where they think they're sort of destined to survive any danger, right? Yes, totally. And so he often has his aura around him in battle.

30:54Yeah, his aura. He's aura farming. Yeah. So he takes enemy scalps in a battle and is shot with an arrow. So sitting bull and crazy horse and black buffalo woman and no legs and throwing poo, all these people. And old fucking trolley woman. Old trolley woman. Mad woman at a bus stop. Bearded bag lady, all this stuff. They are a confederation of peoples called the Sioux. Right. And the Sioux are a group of tribes in the American Midwest comprising the Lakota, the Dakota, the Nakota. And their lives are, you know, buffalo. They're buffalo bothers. As we said, they guide people's eyes out and remove limbs after they've killed them.

31:31And they had this scalping. Now scalping is pretty. What? It's wincy for me. It's because they do. There's something a bit icky about it. It's just a bit, especially when the guy's alive. I think in the Battle of Little Bighorn, there's someone. No, this is going to make Charlie... There's someone who's alive... It's like a reverse going to Turkey, right? Yeah, it is. It's the opposite of Turkish hairlines. Yeah. Yeah, so you go to Turkey to get a hair transplant and you go to Dakota to get a scalp. Yeah. This means you hold on to the hair and then you cut the scalp off. So just the skin, right?

32:13You peel it off. So you still got the skull. Yeah. You know, this is collecting trophies and they think there's capturing an enemy spirit. But if you just peel the skin and hair off and it's just your skull, can you just chill like that? There is someone who survived a scalping. Get a photo of someone who survived a scalping. If you've just got your bare skull out, can you be like, all right, mate, what's going on? What's going on up there? What's going up there? Yeah, probably. What is it? It's just skin and hair. Like, what's that actually? Just wear a hat. Yeah, look, that's a guy who survived a scalping.

32:43this is Robert McGee and he was scalped by a Sioux warrior age 13 chief little turtle and we're looking at him now and yeah I mean he just looks like he's had sort of brain surgery yeah anyway it's pretty pretty nasty stuff yeah I'd hate there's I think in Little Bighorn there's a guy who is alive and is getting scalped and he grits his teeth and goes like while it's happening fuck off like that what is it is that it yeah what do you think is the only way to kind of fight it just be like ah what do you mean what do you mean he grits his teeth though I'm just trying to paint a picture for a thick listeners he says ah fuck as opposed to what being like he didn't go ah he didn't do that or being smuggler whatever yeah I'd be like no I'd be like I needed a haircut anyway

33:34yeah yeah just the top please a little off the top yeah wait a minute it's done yeah nothing off the sides just a bit off the top ah yeah Yeah, that's great. That's great. And they hold a mirror up behind you. Yeah, brilliant. I can see what's gold. Thanks, mate. Yeah. How much was that then? Yes. Yeah, it's Native American haircuts, I guess. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. Fall has never looked or tasted this good.

34:16Sweetgreen's fall harvest menu is back with seasonal favorites dressed to impress and made to be devoured. Warm roasted sweet potatoes, crisp apples, maple glazed Brussels and crave worthy flavors in the autumn harvest bowl, maple glazed salmon plate and roasted bacon Brussels side. The season's most desirable menu has returned to Sweetgreen featuring fall's best dressed. Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. In 1991, two hikers in the Alps found a body melting in the ice. They assumed a fallen climber. What they'd actually found was a 5 ,000-year-old murder victim. Welcome to Buried Evidence.

34:55Join archaeologist Professor Raksha Dave and me, historian Rebecca Radil, as we dig up some fascinating true crime through history. Launching on Friday the 4th of September, you can find Buried Evidence wherever you watch or listen to your podcasts. Subscribe at thecrimedesk.com and get episodes a week before anyone else. anyway so the sue hate people is it weird sorry it's weird that they genetically do not have balding but are the most scalping do you think there's something going on there it's a good point actually yeah maybe it's because they're projecting they're projecting i want to be bald it's the man's desire to be bald or they've never had to have any kind of haircut in their life it's true they've never had to sort it out yeah they never had to go do you know what i'm losing my hair i'm just gonna shave it off no native americans have ever thought that yeah native americans don't have any of the insecurity that most men have about going bald so they don't understand how humiliating it is to get scouted but i think if they knew what it's like going bald they probably wouldn't scout people because yes you're right it's only a people who had never gone bald that would scout people i think that's very true very true because if they knew they'd be like whoa come on come on you wouldn't do that to another man you've already killed him he already cut his balls and his dick off don't cut his you know so uh the sew uh don't like the crow um the crow lands in the powder river basin who's that or is that a place no that's a place anyway they both rely on buffalo and uh the sew and the crow the seward kind of like push the crow out of their hunting grounds and by the 1860s the crow felt pressed between the sew and the white settlers and so the crow side with the us and they become scouts for the us army so let's get to the black hills this is the hills of color a sacred mountain range in south dakota the plains tribes believe that the black hills are the spiritual center of the universe let's have a look charlie get black hills up and they they pray there and they can connect to the great spirit wakantanka directly um it's sort of yeah i mean it looks like someone's just done that stonehenge just kind of squished it.

37:00Oh, that's about Rushmore and the Black Hills. Yeah. But a rat mushroom was originally meant to be for Native American chiefs and then the whites were like, oh, that's a good idea. Let's do that. Right. So that's probably why Crazy Horse is a good one. So the Fort Laramie Treaty of 68 we talked about, that guarantees the Black Hills to the Lakota, which means there's no white settlements to be had there. But pretty much straight away, when is it, they then find gold in the Black Hills. There's gold in them heroes. So they're like, ah, right, about that treaty, SOZ, that's now bollocks. So Custer finds, along with geologist Horatio Nelson Ross, finds gold deposits in the Black Hills.

37:42Now, this is also around the time of a massive depression in the US economy that was known as the Great Depression until the 20s. Right. Oh, no, this is really bad. Right, right, right. so basically there's a massive rush for gold uh and uh this sparks the great sioux war where the u.s had tried to which must be this must be on the ulysses s grant now they tried to buy the black hills back from the lakota which they don't really understand the idea like what's this what's this money what do you mean yeah and then we're like well you can buy stuff yeah you know private private property go on timu yeah you can get where'd you get that horse and they're like this not horse yeah this big dog or whatever fat wife yeah no i'm not talking about your wife call my wife crazy ugly horse this is my wife i do yeah i do think it would be funny to come into school or nursery and just you know you have you've had two kids you've named normally and then one kid you've named native american big fat ugly or something jeff gregory and big fat ugly yeah yeah anyway the sea wars break out um uh in the this is but the sea was been going on for a while but this is basically again it's trying to get them into reservations and so there's ongoing skirmishes between the the sea and the u.s but custer discovers gold in the black hills the u.s tries to buy the Black Hills.

39:14Sitting Bull, Bull who sits down, says no. But miners keep entering the region. No, that's not people under the age of 16. It's not Jeffrey Epstein's miners. Right, okay. This is Digger Diggers. Sure. They form settlements which violates the Fort Laramie Treaties. But again, the US is such a hands-off. People just arrive and they're like, well, yeah. Well, they're not hands-off to the Native Americans. They're very much hands-on with the Native Americans. I mean, they signed this treaty saying whites won't settle there but then they're not going to stop anyone from doing it. They're not enforcing it.

39:48And then they then issue an ultimatum to Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse and they say you've got to move to Centre Parks. You have to go. And Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse are like I just think it's going to be really stressful. It's so expensive. It's so expensive. I could go skiing for that. Yeah. It's so expensive and also it's like being in a shopping centre for three days. Yeah. And it's kind of like a play it's like a sort of fairground forest not real nature and that was a good point by crazy horse yes it is it is very very expensive and i mean the kids were entertained but at what cost you know yeah it's amazing crazy horse had this sort of yeah well you could see into the future so the issue at ultimatum in 875 saying move to center parks and the sioux and the cheyenne and the Arapahoe, who are three different type of Native Americans, they all unite in defiance of this ultimatum and they are brought together under the leadership of Sitting Bull.

40:51Now - I'm sat. Do you know that when people say I'm sat? No. When someone's telling you like going off, when the king's going off. Go off king. Yeah, you will say I'm sat, meaning like I'm listening. Yeah. God. people don't read anymore do they no god no west in the toilet yeah go off king i'm sat i'm sat is that what we're being said i'm sating bull is that is that well is that what you've been said at your party i don't i didn't hear that you were you were cooking on the mic people like i'm sat i'm sat sat sat i'm sat down listening while standing up but it doesn't matter no spiritually sat i'm sat so sitting bull um uh he's now he's united the american peoples right which is very important for little bighorn yeah because the only it doesn't happen very often this is the biggest gathering of ends up being the biggest yes and this is the great problem is that the americans were able to until this point pick them off yeah because they're nomadic bands you know the washita masker uh but sitting will has united lots of them now there's a thing called a sundance festival which is not the uh film festival it's probably the opposite of that this is a sacred ritual that plains indians do it's a it's a ceremony where they basically uh torture themselves as a way of kind of spiritual renewal right so pleasure through plane pleasure through pleasure through pain yeah uh sort of summer solstice stuff hippie bullshit were you were you at the stonehenge recently i was at the wind solstice yeah yeah yeah it's all like that but a bit more stretched out yeah stretched out being the um being the physically stretched out yes they put a skewer through their chest two skewers and then tie the end of the skewers to a pole yeah and then it's sort of like morris dancing if it was directed by but also iron man like yeah tough mother yeah it's endurance as well and the pole is adorned with uh symbolic items like a buffalo penis uh what does that symbolize virility yeah and the life-sustaining power of the buffalo yeah i mean yeah fair enough yeah i'd probably up there with the worst animals to be fucked by a buffalo yeah silverback gorilla um yeah yeah just go yeah i leave me in pieces so they do they do this piercing uh where the skewers are inserted through the muscles of a dancer's chest and connected by leather thongs to this pole my friend um what they become kebabs yes yeah skewers yeah it's um it's native american sheesh Would you rather be fucked by a gorilla that really hated it, but was like being nice to you or a chin?