$74,000 For New Boobs | Financial Audit

24:33The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10 % off your order at gamersupps.gg. Or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. Because kids are in school. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's what I'm saying. Like, I can't work with those families full-time because they have school. I feel like you don't know what you do. Would you have a full-time job? What do you mean? I would probably just work with another family during the day. Like, okay, if you get it. Again, I feel like as things cut back in a recession, you know, it's not necessarily taking care of your kids cut back, but the more frivolous spending things.

25:25And sometimes having someone over can be considered frivolous spending. I'm not saying you wouldn't be able to find something, but your plan is that will 100 % work? And it makes me scared. No, I'm just saying that that's an option of mine. Okay, that's an option. What else is in your grand plan here? I could have a roommate. If things don't work out with a boyfriend, I could always get a roommate because, like, we just had an issue not too long ago. Like, he didn't pay me for his half of the utilities by the end of the month. He thought that it was okay for him to wait until the third. Is it?

26:01Whenever he gets paid. No! Okay, what's agreed upon? What's been agreed upon? Agreed upon in the entirety of our relationship was that he would pay me for his half of the bills before the end of the month. So why is he f***ing it? It's happened so many times. And like this month, I was like... And that got you close to breakup? That was like one of the big reasons. Because I'm like, we have a financial responsibility together, right? That's what you're saying. So then why am I fronting everything? And then him just being like, oh, I can just pay whenever I want. I'm so confused. I'm getting so many just weird things.

26:35Okay, Stevie, who is you, wants an open relationship so he, as in him, can sleep with other people. What? What? This is such a mess. I have a medical problem. I get chronic ovarian cysts. So sex is very painful for me. Well, stop. Oh, my God. I wish I could. Or take it in the ass. I don't know. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Thank you. We're open-minded here. I will pass. Okay, I was joking. Keep going. Okay, yeah, you get cysts in your... That sucks. I do. It hurts. Yeah, that hurts. Always? I feel them most of the time. So you can fuck. I can, but it, like, it has to be, it's like, it's like doing surgery.

27:15You know, you have to be, like, very methodical and, like, very planned out. It's got to be, like, a whole thing. So you want him to go f*** some people? Yeah. Does he? I mean, he's, he's a man. He gets horny. And sometimes I'm like, I physically cannot. So he does? I honestly don't think that he wants to go f*** other people. but I want him to be able to. That's such a mess. Welcome to my life. Yeah, and what are you doing about it? You're about to get laid off and you aren't accepting that job change. You're doing nothing. I'll get you a course career certification to help boost your skills so hopefully you can get a different job.

27:54Yeah. A little easier. I'll get you that for free. Huh? I want to get my MBA. Okay. How are you paying for school and taking the income? That's what I'm saying. That's why I'm not doing it yet. Okay, well, apparently you're saying a lot but you're doing nothing. You're literally putting yourself on that edge again in your relationship, in this job. Yeah. So what the f*** are we doing? And not just because grandma will take care of us. That's horrible. How old's grandma? 68. I hope she's healthy. She is. Good. But you won't be able to rely on her forever. No, I'm not trying to rely on her. I'm just like, like she's.

28:25Oh, you're bringing it up now and all this shit because you found a girl on a queer local Facebook page. No, no, no. She's my best friend. She's talked about how she wants to date me. You want to bring her in. But no, no, no, no. Her and her partner. You're going to fuck things up with this guy. No. Her and her partner are in an open relationship. That's not what I'm wanting. But I would like to date her. But that's not like. Show me her. Okay. She better be hot. Perky tits, I guess, if that's what you're into. Well, she's probably not going to be your type. But I think she's cute. I don't know.

28:59Well, then how can you say that? You make fun of me for having yellow hair. So I'm like, people like me probably are here today. Well, I've never seen that color before. Oh, okay. Well, does it look good? Huh? Does it look good?

29:13You're thinking awfully hard about that. No, I've already made my conclusion. I'm just staying quiet. It's just, you know, it's not my hair doesn't look good today either. That's okay. We can both be struggling together. So this was us at the MCR concert. So it's not like a great representation of what she looks like. Can I see a normal picture? by chance? Yeah. Because that's scary. We went... That was emo scary. Hey. We went dumpster diving and we found these like two fully put together mannequins. It was super funny. Actually, let me just look at my Instagram. Maybe stay in St. Louis. We don't need to unleash you on the rest of the world.

29:53Are you sure? Okay. I... Which one is she? One on the left? Obviously not the one with yellow hair. Or I guess I didn't have yellow hair at that time. Yeah. Yeah, you looked a lot more normal. Yeah, I did go normal for a while, but I didn't feel like myself. This is a wood. This is a run and hide. Here, I'll show you what my hair did look like whenever. No, that's okay. I don't need that. See, isn't that cute? That's you? That's me. And that's a run and hide as well. See, the last picture is a wood. That is a run and hide. Just saying. I'm going to be candid. To each their own. Well, you literally put on clown makeup in that photo.

30:30So, yes, I'm running and hiding, whereas in the previous picture, you were attractive. Okay. Okay. Before we get into these finances, again, your plan, this grand plan. I need to just hear where your mind is at. Grand plan. So you said you can get into child care. Maybe you can, maybe you can't. It's hard to just rely on one thing. What else? Grand plan. I mean, I used to be a sugar baby. To who? To what? What did that look like? It was great. What did that look like? Like, that's not an answer. So I met him on a website and— He was a man. Yeah. And he came to visit me. This was when I was in college.

31:10We, like, we actually had, like, a really good relationship. Like, we had a lot in common. How old were you? I was 22. How old was he? He was my mom's age. So I think he was, like, 40. Okay. Were you hot? Was I hot? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What have I not been? Yellow hair. Go on. Yes. To incorporate this back into the grand strategy, what did you make? How did it work? I mean, it kind of varied. So, like, I got paid, like, an allowance every time he came to visit me, and he came to visit me every weekend. And he would f*** you. Yeah. Okay. So, kind of like prostitutes. Okay, keep going. No. It was like a relationship.

31:58That she got an allowance. It was a relationship that had a financial advantage. Yeah. That's how I would like to put it. That's how you would like to put it. We, like, texted all the time and, like, talked all the time about just, like, life and everything. Advance process. Continue. Okay, anyway. And he would, like, take me places. We would go to, like, Cardinals games. We would just, like, go travel a little bit. And, well, also— How much were you making? Ugh, I don't know. This was so long ago, Caleb. I would say probably like. Well, if this is part of the grand plan, if we get. Okay. Not.

32:34So what are we making? What were we making? It wasn't. I mean, it was probably pretty on par with what I'm making. That's insanity. Okay. It's about two grand a month. And it was just one guy? Yeah. Consistently. And then I kind of had like a manic episode. Shocked. And so I ended things with him. and then I had a few more moments where like one guy I met who lived in Alaska and I like flew to Alaska and we were gonna like get married to strangers and then I met the guy and I was like absolutely not but I did have a four day vacation in Alaska and he paid you yeah and he f***ed you no no no no he did not f*** you did not let him he paid you and he didn't even get the f*** no that's abuse yeah he was just not so I don't want you to have to get back into The Prostedict Plus is the advanced product.

33:26Okay. Or Prime, Prostedict Prime. We don't, I don't want you to get into Prostedict Elite once more. No. I mean, I just go back to all the fans. You did OF. Yeah. Do you do OF? No, I quit whenever I got with boyfriend because he didn't like it. But you wouldn't be breaking up if you got laid off. Except you guys are on the verge of breaking off now. But he would allow you to do OF. I asked him to do it with me, but he said he wouldn't do it with me. But he would let you do OF? Okay, first of all, nobody lets me do anything. Well, potentially, a relationship is usually compromises and kind of what we like the other person doing and not doing.

34:05So, yes, there is a part of let. There's a part of acceptance. Or not. Okay, yeah. Okay, would he accept? I don't know. We'd have to talk about it more. What were you making on OF? Oh, that was such a fever dream. because I was still like unmedicated at that time. So it would like, it would be random because like sometimes I would make a lot because I would like actually put effort into it. What kind of content were you making? And then I would go ghost. Huh? What content were you making? So just solo, but I was super fun with it. So I would like choose a song and it's like I would make like a music video out of it.

34:46I spent so many hours editing my videos. I actually loved doing it, But, yeah, I stopped. Are you talking about me? Yes. Okay, so jumping back into that would be brutal. Yeah. I don't want you to jump into prostitution light, which is that, or prostitution advance, which is the other one. I mean, yeah, it's not ideal. Taking dick for money or having people fat to you for money. That's not—see, this is what I don't like. I don't like that the alternative for a young woman is just like if things get bad, I would just literally make money off of my body, off my tits, my saggy tits. I could. I know.

35:24Well, I'm asking your grand plan. You're bringing it up, dude. You f***ing tit. Well, I have two of them. I can put them to use. It's not active anymore, right? No. You deleted the account. No, yeah, I deleted them. Okay. So it's even harder to get back into. I know. I know. But I'm also glad you deleted it. It was really tough letting it go. because I was like, that was like such an era of my life. Because like, I compromised so much in the beginning of our relationship. Yeah, and now you're regretting it and you want to break up with him. Yeah, that's why I'm at the point where I'm like, okay, hold up.

35:59I let go of so much of myself, so we need to like reel it back in. Let me be me. Does he like you? Yeah. You, you? That you're reeling back in? I mean, I don't, we haven't really talked. But we just, Caleb, we just started our therapy journey again. We're figuring it out. My new therapist, like, specializes in polyamory. So, like, we're going to have a lot of homework to work on together. Oh, for f***s sake, you guys are f***ing good luck. I'll give it one more quarter. Good luck. Absolutely good luck. Okay, well, I don't like those backup plans, to be very clear. The child care one, maybe. That's the best.

36:39I don't necessarily like that. one of the three plans is childcare and the person that's talking about childcare, the other two plans are prostitution elite and prostitution light. But I guess that's where we are in 2026. I can be hot and sexy and at the same time like... Yes, and how do parents feel about that though? I don't show that side of me when I am doing childcare. Yeah, but they could find out, you tit. Okay. And then however they want to approach it, we can go from there. All right. Let's jump into these finances. I'm capable of having adult conversations. You're an adult, but you're not entitled to money.

37:19No. You're not entitled to a job. You're not entitled to people thinking that you— But I am capable. —taking for money, which, by the way, I don't even know how you do that for money if it's that painful. I don't do that. You did. Oh, well. Yeah, I did. You literally did. Okay, well, I didn't have ovarian cyst at that time. That didn't happen until recently. You know? So, glocky glocky. Glocky glocky. It works. It works, but I'm not advocating for that. I don't necessarily want that to be how to keep a roof over your head. I hate that. That's how, where we've come to. Yeah, I mean, same, but you know.

37:53Same yet, you do it. You gotta do what you gotta do, Caleb. No, that is not it because I literally laid out the alternative. You dumb f***. And I guess I can say this correctly in this context. Whore. you whore used to be used to be but I love it you whore um all right it's just like I gave you the alternative the alternative is obviously accept this job change so you don't get laid off tomorrow and when you accept it get skilled up update your skills again with the certification I give you plus going and applying for other jobs like it's a full time job that's what you do so you don't get laid off and all of a sudden we don't know how to deal with money without grandmother okay That is the alternative That's the adult response without going into prostitution I think it's too late I don't think that if I went back to him Wait when was this offer?

38:46It was last week today Oh you're such a child 28 What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? It's not like I spend that much on gas You're a baby Sure so then extra wise Grandma paying for it Baby What the f*** is wrong with you? A lot. I mean, we could go there if you... Yeah, no shit. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to ten. Zero being the worst. Ten being the best. Okay, so I took the score before I applied. Proud of you. Calebhammer.com. Mm-hmm. And it was a 2.17. Which rounds two or three. It rounds two or three? Yeah, and like the overall score. Yeah. Oh, okay. I think I'm going to give myself just a two, though.

39:33Okay. We'll go there. If you want your financial score like she did, take the assessment for free at calebhammer.com. See where you stand in the world of money, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great, what you need to do to improve yourself. Calebhammer.com just takes a few minutes and it is free. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the DollarWise Budgeting app. It has tens of thousands of active users for a reason. People are changing their lives. You can too with features added every single month. It is incredible. DollarWise.app, take the free trial.

40:00And if you like it, stick around and you can sign up for the annual version like most people do to save a lot of money. And then for about only a month left only, I will personally sign my budget-friendly cookbook and mail it directly to you. That is gone at the end of February. They. Huh? You said she. It's they. Whore. Okay, so. Potato, potato. I'm a whore. Absolutely. Absolutely. There's nothing wrong with it. We love whores. Yes. Big fan of whores. Yes. Including me being one. Very supportive. We love it. Okay, what's this first thing? What am I looking at? That is my Klarna. Of course it is.

40:37What the f*** is going on with this? It's a great question. Well, Bliss Aesthetics for$1 ,000. So. What the f*** are you doing? That is actually my deposit for my boob job. So it's already happening.

40:58so technically like if you take that portion off it's only 8 500 because that's already been paid again they don't seem that bad i mean like i could i could show you like do you want to see them i could do a tit audit do you consent yeah yeah okay i'll look at a picture i'll look at a picture but not here in the studio. We don't want them out in the studio. Okay. Deal. I legit would not do it. Don't do it. Why? I just want them to... Because it's very expensive and they're very nice. I just want them to... I feel like... I don't know. It's a feeling thing? I want them to feel nice when I grab them.

41:41No, but you just strictly can't afford this and that's not a medical necessity. You didn't have boob cancer, correct? No. Okay. And that's like... This is purely cosmetic. Yeah. And I want you to be able to do more cosmetic things in the future if you want to. But right now, we're literally worried about keeping a roof over your head. And yeah, that was a funny idea. All that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great. I literally already paid my deposit. Yeah, a thousand. You have nine left. Here's the thing. Those just saw them. And I honestly thought I was just going to support it instinctively. But that was, they're actually very nice.

42:16Well, I appreciate that you like them, but. No, no, no. It's not even about that. It is literally math. Like for that, this is pure cosmetic. And I know it's just for you. It's not for others. And I can respect that and support that. You do not need this right now. There's not like something wrong there. That deposit only lasts for eight months. So that means like in the future, whenever I like, if I have to, if I have to wait to do it, I lose that deposit and then I have to pay it all over again. You're spending thousands more than you make on a monthly basis. How much debt do you have? What's your debt number?

42:49I think it's like 80. $74 ,423.83. That doesn't mean it's good though. Okay. You could have said 100. That doesn't mean 73 is good. Listen, if you are going and dropping an extra nine that you do not have, which means there's going to be more debt, you're rounding this up to now 85. We're getting closer and closer to six figures of debt with nothing to show for it. No. Yes. No. Yes. Because. What do you mean? What do you mean no? I'm going to use one of my credit cards. I'm going to pay down. How? How when? You spend more than you make. How? Hey, if you get laid off, how? If you get laid off, how?

43:30I have money that is going to be coming in from my last house that I rented. What? So I like rented this place and it was kind of like a rent to own situation where like $50 of your rent every month goes into like the savings bank. And then at the end of your lease, you like get that back. Never even heard of that. I've heard of rent to own, but I've never even heard of whatever. That's not rent to own. That's like rent to save. No, no, no. Yeah. Well, the thing is at the end of your lease, that money that you have in savings could go directly to your like, yeah, your down payment on the house.

44:10Okay. Okay, so how much? Like$4 ,500. I mean,$4 ,500 is a lot of money to anyone, to be clear. But one, that pays for half of what you still owe on something you can't afford. Two,$4 ,500 to your debt still only brings down your bad debt to$50 ,000. So this math is not working. If you were about to say$50 ,000, I'd be like, oh, shit, we got something to play with here. Yeah, no, not that much. And trust me, there's a lot to play with there. I learned. But the fact is, it doesn't make any mathematical sense. But it makes like... It makes want sense. This is essentially going and getting some McDonald's fries of the tit world.

44:50You don't need this. This isn't getting your boobs done after you had to have surgery to get cancer removed. This isn't... They are so saggy that your little entire body is collapsing. But they are saggy. Kind of. Okay, thank you. You agree. But kind of. I mean, I'm just, I'm agreeing just because you're saying it. If that was, if in a different world we were doing stuff and all of a sudden I just came across those, saggy is not the word I would have thought of in any way whatsoever. That's kind of stupid. I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money.

45:28Free money. We like free money. You can get up to$350 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for Chime. Get that$350 right now in your checking account. Want to know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an only f***. You're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck.

46:06that is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use DollarWise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending, subscriptions, and savings all in one simple dashboard. Everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download DollarWise today, you'll get six to try it for free, plus three months for just$9.99. So you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back, click below to get started. Well... They're just substantial and gravity exists. Yeah. But I feel them every day. Oh, yeah, they're huge. Yeah. Are you getting reduction?

46:42No. See, like, isn't gravity just going to— Lindsay, can you educate me? Is gravity not just going to work its magic again in a few years? I mean, but you're getting a lift and then an implant. Uh-huh. A lift and an implant. Just a tiny little implant to, like, round it out so they look— So the lift— The lift will— Yeah. And then the implant will— How— Hold? I don't know if you're not a plastic surgeon, but I understand. Well, they do this like mesh bra too. That was an option, but it was like an extra like$2 ,000. So I did not plan for that. But they do this like internal mesh bra where it's like.

47:16You're not even trying to get back into OF. I know it's just for you. I'm trying to respect that. It just doesn't make sense. You can do this in a year. You can do this when you pay off debt and have an emergency fund. This is not an emergency. It's not. It's not. Your aesthetic, listen. Sorry, your down payment on the aesthetics thing is literally done on Klarna. Yeah. Klarna! I did. You didn't even pay for it. You put it on Klarna. I did not use. Pull up your Klarna for me. I guess you're supposed to go to Florida for the boob job. Yeah. We're doing a family vacation. Oh, you're doing, yeah, in January.

47:52Yeah. Your boyfriend's family freaked out and wasn't comfortable with it. Yeah. So I canceled it. and then I don't know necessarily if I'm going on the family vacation anymore because now I kind of feel uncomfortable. What part did they not support? So his dad was just basically saying that he didn't feel comfortable about the fact that I was recovering like the last few days of our vacation. Well, yeah, they kind of fucked up the vacation for everyone, is it not? I had the first five full days with them. Yeah, but you're fucking up the ending of the vacation. I don't think that's unfair. I don't have to be involved in everything.

48:28Yeah, but your boyfriend's going to want to say support. They're going to feel bad. Come on. It puts a weird dynamic on the vacation. He didn't like the fact that I was flying after, like, immediately after. Okay. Which, like, is fine, but I'm like, okay, well. But the thing is, I scheduled the surgery around that. When your boyfriend comes into the post show, how is he going to feel that I've seen your titties? That's a great question, Caleb. I hope we fight.

48:59Okay. So Bliss Aesthetics,$1 ,000, Sheen USA, Sheen USA. Okay. Wayfair, Victoria's Secret. Okay. Now I understand. Let me justify. The Sheen was, I went to the My Chemical Romance concert in Chicago, and I had a very specific outfit ID on mind. And so I ordered it from there. and then anything that like I didn't like or didn't work, I did mail back. So I did return it. Okay. Yeah, I mean, the Victoria's Secret, so your refund, but even still. Yeah, I refunded that. Okay, so on Klarna, what is this? What is this owed? I'm going to say it's like 1 ,500. Okay. And your monthly is probably like 250.

49:38Yeah. Oh my gosh. You know, Klarna has like the worst interest rates there are. I don't use the interest portion. I hope not unless you get laid off and you can't make a payment, you dumb. No, I'll always find a way to make a payment. Gosh, we got to bring the word whore back. What a good word. I love it. It is a good word. Yeah. Yeah. What are you getting on Wayfair? Wayfair. I needed a nightstand. We had to like emergency move into our new house because our house got broken into for the second time. So why'd you need a nightstand right there? Because I didn't have one. So? So I needed one. No.

50:10Yeah. No. Wayfair is great as like a platform in products. You did not need a nightstand. I needed one nightstand. Caleb. No. Also, Facebook Marketplace, I guarantee you could get one for free. Yeah, but the one that I got is like— And also, if you were moving to a new house, did you not already have a nightstand? No. Well, then why'd you need a nightstand? Because I didn't have one. At your old place. You didn't. So you didn't need one. Yes, I did. Because you were surviving without one. I used this like old-ass coffee table. Good. Use that again. Use it again. Well done. You did it. And I trashed it because it didn't—it doesn't work.

50:46It didn't match the vibe. I needed— What are you doing to your tables? It was old. That thing was from like, that thing was like 10 years ago and it was from Wayfair. And this was like whenever I was an alcoholic. And so, so much had gotten spilled. What? Yeah. New lore drop. Yeah, I went to rehab and I've been sober for over three years. Congratulations. That's good. That's a big part of why my debt built up is because I was a raging alcoholic for 10 years. Yeah, but that's not why it hasn't been paid off in three years though. So, I can have sympathy for the star, but. Well, because I'm still paying for rehab.

51:19What? Rehab was financed? Well, no, no, no, no. My insurance didn't cover everything, though. How much do you owe to rehab? So I'm still getting a bill. Well, that's not this next credit card with hundreds in spending. So, no, we'll talk about that in a bit. But U.S. Bank balanced$8 ,462.53. That is not rehabbed three years ago. Your literal advances of$500 and your purchases of$373.20 are not rehabbed. Hey, how long does this take to pay off minimum payments only without doing any purchases? of which you are incapable of, by the way. I think it was 14 years. Yeah, it takes 14 years. $276 is your minimum monthly payment.

51:57Which when you get laid off, good the fuck. Because it sounds like you said you can't backtrack. So it sounds like you're not going to have it. When are they implementing this AI thing? He said that he was hoping to have it in place by the end of January. So that means tomorrow, whenever I get home, I'm putting in a bunch of job applications. Yeah, but that's just a start. You got to curate your resume to all of them. It's not just mass applying. You got to be hyper smart, and this is not a good job market. Like you said, you need to set yourself up for success. Mm-hmm. I do have really good references, though.

52:27Okay. I mean, that could be a play if your resume makes it through the AI screening. Like, references is going to be one of the— that's not going to be a make or break for a bit. I don't know. Not a kid trying to get a first job. You're not also trying to do, like, this massive advanced thing. you're at this very very below mid-level interest hundreds charging okay let's see what's going on it's all bullshit first of all monthly carbon offset okay are you that was are you whenever i was in one of my environmental classes in college when was that oh god i think dude you're putting on a credit card that you can't pay off that is accruing interest i think this is like 20 this This isn't just free money.

53:1019 or something. This is the bank's money. So every single month that$5 comes out of my account. I have no clue what website it was. So you were an alcoholic in college taking for money. Yeah. What the f***? Oh, my gosh. Well, doing OF. What a jerk. I worked like 300 jobs at the same time. I don't know how. Well, just tell your credit card not to charge that anymore. Challenge it. Say you're done. You can't cancel it. No, just go plant a tree. And it probably does more than this has ever done. We'll see. How much is this$5 really doing? I don't know. It was like a whole calculator thing where you put in where you live.

53:49And it grades your carbon usage and everything. And then you can select a thing. And then it punishes you? A fee? Like, what the fuck? This seems like a scam. That was optional. Blue host. And I felt bad. Oh, yeah. It's because you're the easy kind to absolutely trick into weird performative activism. And environmental things, yeah. Environmental can be good. What the f*** is this though? This is you're paying a fee. Yeah. That's environmental. Go advocate for environmental things. Go support the products you like. Paying a fee just to feel good? Activism happens in multiple forms, Caleb. There isn't just one right way.

54:22And this one is making someone money. That is, yeah, probably. But. Okay, Bluehost. Yeah. What's that? I started a blog and then I stopped. Yeah, blogs. Very in on 2026. Yeah, you're paying for it. I need to cancel it. I think I did. Maybe I can't. it? Nope. Okay. Nope. Parking? MJ Events Concerts,$110. That was a My Chemical Romance concert. Your concert. I don't give a shit. No. It was My Chem. Dude, you're literally putting $1 ,000 of boobs that don't even need to be moved. And they were free tickets. But they're not because you had to pay for parking and bullshit there and bullshit and bullshit.

54:57You still spent hundreds. Yeah, but I didn't have to pay for the tickets that were like almost$1 ,000. It was like a free gift telling you to go spend more money. Yeah, and I did. Exactly. You just had to put a down payment down on Klarna. No, listen. Yes, actually. When I went to see them for their first reunion tour back in 2022 because they postponed it, I was freshly sober. So I was withdrawing super bad. So I didn't remember the concert. I'm sorry. This time around, I don't give a fuck. I wanted a real experience. You can go see them next time. I don't give a shit. No, because I'm not going to be able to afford tickets.

55:34These were free tickets. You can't afford. No, we can get you to the place where you can afford to. Hey, guess what? Exciting news because I know we're filming this well before it comes out because our backlog is juicy. Thank you, Lindsay and Colton. But we proved that we can. We do an annual report every single time. The average guest who comes on financial audit pays off$22 ,807 of debt within 12 months. The median pays off$12 ,000 of debt in eight months. We can get you there. We can get you there. Proven method. Okay, let's do it. Proven method. Show me. Well, I'm putting you through the Master Your Money program.

56:09Okay. To be very clear, that's our debt class, investing class, real estate class, budgeting class, recession class, job class, all the good classes. We're putting you through that and every future class you can join as well. You get the premium version of the DollarWise budgeting app with the Master Your Money program. Caleb Hammer.com for all that. So that's what they've done. They followed that path and they've done it. So you can do it too. But to say that you have to go spend money you don't have right now when you're financing a down payment on tits. and also it's just so stupid instead of saying you can't do it in the future it's so stupid I mean you literally can I probably will still do it in the future but I needed to do it this time too but you can't afford it that's what's objective it wasn't important no and you're door dashing cha-ching cha-king china king china king for$47.66 the best Chinese food and to be fair any like food charges on there I split with my partner Okay, that's not fair because that's still 25 bucks basically.

57:04F*** you. That is an insane wealth. It was worth it. Klarna. Okay, so she puts things on her debt, Klarna. Then she pays for her Klarna debt with her credit card that accrues at a 28 % interest rate of death. I didn't even know they could do that. F*** you, of course it does. What do you mean? I thought it could only come out of your checking account. Oh, she's a beast. She's a beast. She's a creature. Oh, sorry. The whore is a beast. Oh my gosh. Oh, my goodness. Here's the actual reality. Her finances are... Go ahead, Sam. The horse finances are so... You don't even know this is happening. No.

57:45The finances are so... Again, reminder,$1 ,000 down payment on the titties. Mm-hmm. By the way, I will say once more, they are very nice. Like, everyone would be impressed. They could be nicer. Everyone would be impressed. You don't need that. You don't need that right now. But$1 ,000 down that she can't afford on Klarna, which then she pays with her credit card, while at the same time on her checking account, she is... Oh, this is an impossible game. The pronouns are an impossible game. This human... There you go. That works. ...is literally overdrafting on this person's checking account, and it's being charged via cash advance from this person's credit card of$150.

58:34I immediately pay a pass. Dude, if I can call you, dude, can I not just call you her and she, just for the simplicity of this conversation so I don't have to think about it. Can you like alternate? Huh? Can you like alternate? No, because I don't think when I'm talking about what someone is. Fine, Caleb. We'll play by your rules. Can we just go like sex? Right? Sure. Can we just do sex rules? Sure. Just for the sake of ease of the conversation. Thank you. I appreciate it. I will respect it. I do respect it and I will do it when I think about it. I just have a hard time thinking about it when I'm trying to think about numbers Because the fact is, another number is this person then overdrafted, I gained$350 from the credit card doing cash advance fees.

59:19My car payment came out. Yeah, that happens. Okay. That happens. It's a shock. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Blow my mind. Oh, my car payment that always happens. I had like$900 come out of my checking account at one time. That you signed up for. No, no, no, no, no, no. because my card payment came out, my credit card payment came out, and my electric bill came out all at the same time. Welcome to the consequences of the things you signed up for, you dumb... I wasn't expecting my electric bill to come out, and I forgot that my credit card was on auto pay. You should always have enough money for your bills.

59:50Sure. If you're not spending money on dumbass, dumbass, thousand dollars on tits and then putting it on your credit card, moron, what are we doing? Miscellaneous bullshit alone was literally almost$600, and going out to eat was$200. Like, what are we doing? Cough. Going out to eat. Oh, of course you do. Let me see your inner lip. That's who she is. C-U-N-T. The C is worn off. I need to get it redone, but yeah. Uh-huh. I was told it was your favorite word. Oh, great word. It's a beautiful word. Horror is becoming my new favorite word of the day. Yeah, okay, good. For what it's worth. I'm glad I opened you up to that.

1:00:24Dude, interest 1 ,300 this year so far. The year's not even done. Yeah, I know. The time of filming this. It's great. It's crazy. and then fees, fees, fees, cash advance, cash advance, cash advance, cash advance. I'm trying to be better. No, it's the lady part, right? Yeah. Confusing. Just confusing. It's confusing. Okay. To want to be called a guy but have cunt tattooed on you. You could call me an asshole. I mean. Oh, you're not an asshole. They're all. No, you are, but. I am. I am. You're not. You're a whore. I mean, I'd rather be a whore than an asshole. I'm both. Yeah. At least you admit it.

1:01:11I just don't whore out my asshole. That's the first step, Caleb, is admitting it. I know I'm an asshole in this context. For sure. I don't give a fuck. U.S. Bank. Yeah. Again. Yeah. U.S. Bank 2, I guess. Yeah, okay. So this one. $999.06 with a minimum payment of 63. Oh, good. purchased$190.52 on a card that is agreeing$22.60 an interest that takes two years to pay off that we can't pay off in one because we're also overdrafting like a dumbass. What are we doing? What are we doing? Why are you purchasing on this card? Do you f*** what? This was originally opened because I was going to do a balance transfer.

1:01:49How'd that work? Because it's a 0 % interest. Without changing our behavior first. You want to know why? Whoa. No, you want to know why? I didn't know. Because you didn't change your behavior first? I didn't know that you can't do a balance transfer if you're opening a car that's in the same like financial institution as the one you're trying to transfer over. I didn't know that that was the thing that you couldn't do that. Why weren't you looking things up or talking to anyone? I. This day and age where every resource is at our fingertips. I was going through it all by my own. Like I could have asked my grandma.

1:02:17My grandma could have probably told me that. When was this? This was like right before I got my car. When was that? Two years ago. Okay, then you had a boyfriend. Shut the fuck up. I'm the one that got His credit score up. How? This is a mess. See, the thing is, like, I know how to do finances. Rules for thee, not for me? It's just, like, I don't do it. Yeah, exactly. Well, that's immature. Do as I say, not as I do. Well, I'm working on it. No. That's what everyone says. Where's the working on it? You spent more than you made last month. Your debt's only going up. You're literally doing, again,$9 ,000 right there.

1:02:52You already put one down. You paid that minimum payment on your credit card while overdrafting from your checking accounts because you can't manage bills to save your life. Working on it? Where's the working out? How is it working out? How are you working at it? I don't even know what's on this card. Huh? I don't even know what's on this card. I'll tell you. Some kind of Microsoft subscription going in and getting some bullshit. That's my wonder. Vaping. She vapes. I do. Well, now, any sense of like. If you did have any attractiveness to anyone, it's out the door now. You nasty. What's wrong with you?

1:03:19You're vaping. You're killing yourself. What are you doing? Listen. I was an alcoholic for 10 years. That's not good. So. So let's also kill ourselves in another way. Let me keep this. Well, no. Let me have the, this is the one thing that I have, Kayla. Why don't you just be not that? It's so hard to quit. It is. No, but objectively, you did a harder addiction to quit though. However, I will say. So you already proved to yourself you can. You will like this. When I do get my boob job, I have to quit vaping. Then just do it now. I can't. I tried. Well, then how will you be able to do it then? So I actually was.

1:03:51I was quitting. And then. Okay, but how will you be able to do it then? about the boob job not happening at, you know, next month or whatever. Oh, no, the most stressful thing in our lives. I can't make my tits do this. I went right back to it. Great. So how are you going to quit then? Willpower and... Okay, so it's not. Great. So you're going to f*** up everything, just like you already have. They have those little, like, detox pill things. I have them. Then do that now. No, no, no, because I'm not quitting right now. But you should. Like, yeah, but I'm not... For your life, for your budget, for your health, for making sure you're quitting before then anyway.

1:04:24It's like an oral fixation. Like I have switched to like the zero nicotine thing. Oral fixate on your boyfriend. Trust me. I think he wants it since he's not getting anything else. Easy. Get yourself a stim toy, dude. Yeah. I probably could use one. We've had weird creature women on you on the show, like you on the show that have those. I probably could use one. Yeah. Aw. Mm-hmm. Okay. And then Apple bill, Apple bill. Yeah. Interest charging like crazy. I moved all of my late. Fees. You've had a late fee this year. Bullshit. Well, nope. You've had a late fee this year. Oh, shit. How? Let me do this again.

1:04:56You've had a late fee. Not paying on time. Everything is on auto pay. Okay, doesn't matter. Just like your electricity bill was on auto pay, you didn't have enough money. If you do not have enough money in your account when this auto pay hits, especially since, I don't know, but it's been this year, 2025.

1:05:12Open your phone. Then interest in auto pay. Listen, I'll let you use the Fizz card. I've had a late payment fee one time. Well, one time this year on that card. That's crazy. All that you use is the Fiz card, debit card. That builds credit. A lot of people in the audience use it who have a hard time changing their behavior. At least it's a tool you can use. No, that's not what we're looking at. Just give me your phone. That's not what you're looking at. Oh, okay. I was going to. Now I'm mad. Should be. You're a fuck. Okay, those Apple bills. Let's see. Okay, we got Apple Music. Yeah, have to. Duolingo.

1:05:47What are you learning? Spanish. Why? You're in St. Louis. Well, I mean, because I feel like it's still important. I feel like. Why? Spanish is the big. You're in St. Louis. I know, but I'm not going to stay in St. Louis. If anything, just learn Jive. iCloud Plus. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's fine. Wise? Make your homes. Those are my, that's my security cameras for the house. Oh, well, that one's okay. Duolingo, I don't know if you 100 % need right now. I like Duolingo. I just don't know if you need it right now. It was accidental. because I did like the free thing. And then Sleep Cycle and Pit Collage.

1:06:22Pit Collage? What is this? It's like iPhone 3. I canceled that. And then we've had Duolingo. We've had Crunchyroll. That one just expired. Google Photos we had. Oh, don't have it now. I know I canceled it. I'm not paying for any like, sorry, like streaming services anymore. Talk about what? I hit the microphone. I was apologizing to it. It's okay. Okay, I have a, oh, Kia. Kia Sportage Hybrid. Yes, my baby. Her name is Spock. I'm just surprised you're even with a guy. Can we get Erin in here? Are you going to lesbian score me? Of course I am. Okay. Yay. Welcome, Erin. Please come in. Our resident lesbian expert, please come in.

1:07:07We need a lesbian financial score or a lesbian score to see if she is lesbian or not. This is not going to take long. Okay. What kind of car do you drive? A Kia Sportage Hybrid. She's beautiful. How many pets do you own? Two. What are your pronouns? They, them. And preferred. And I prefer like male terms, like dude, bro, guy. Interesting. Man, yeah. Like 11. Lesbian financial score, 11 out of 10. She has a boyfriend in the other room. Yeah, that's what I said. If you want your lesbian score, see where you stand in the world of lesbianism. If you need to be more lesbian or less lesbian, go to CalebHammer.com forward slash lesbian take the assessment it's free it takes a few minutes it's a win-win you get money and I get money these are called affiliates and you get that sweet sweet cash for signing up for some amazing products the first one is Chime this is a checking account that I personally use and you get up to a$350 bonus with a new Chime checking account and earn up to 3.5 % APY on your savings and second my investing app of choice these days is weeble and get a 2 % match on all of your money that you transfer over.

1:08:21And finally, sign up for automated investing with acorns. Typically, the signup bonus is only five bucks, but with my link, you get$20. Ladies and gents, you get money. I get money. Enjoy. Links are in the description below. Guys, just real quick, don't forget to take your Hammer financial score at calebhammer.com. See where you stand, where you got to do better, where you're doing shit. Listen, it just takes a few minutes and it is free. Figure out where you stand in the world of money, calebhammer.com. I will say. Why'd you settle with a guy? I don't like most men. Why'd you pick them? He just kind of came to me.

1:08:53They just like gravitate towards me and then occasionally I like let them stay. Okay. But I do let Bibi know money. He's my favorite. I think he likes the show if I'm not mistaken. Hi. I've texted him a few times. We've texted about him coming on the show a few times. Him and Young Gravy. Yes. They're so fun. That was like a year ago. I've been like watching their stuff recently. Okay, so on this Kia, you owe$29 ,332.24. Yeah. Okay. Well, you met him in rehab. Isn't that like the opposite of what you're supposed to do? Oh, absolutely. Isn't that like super bad? You're not supposed to be for like a whole year, right?

1:09:29Yeah, we met in rehab. And then after about, I want to say maybe like three weeks of hanging out, we like went official. And then like two weeks after that, I made him move in. Okay, what do you think this car's worth? And that's crazy. I'm surprised it's worth. Was he alcoholic too? Yes. So at least you guys can hold each other accountable now, but that was a risky situation you put in. Neither of us, like, we don't really, we don't have cravings. We don't really, like, think about drinking or anything. Good, but there's a lot of life left. No, 100%. Yeah, they say, like, don't even think about getting into a relationship until you're, like, a year in.

1:09:58I think I was eight months and he was six. What do you think the car's worth? I think whenever I checked, it was 24. Well, Edmonds has an appraisal report, and Edmonds is the best, the most accurate value on the internet, much better than KBB and those other ones. So Edmund says$22 ,048. Oh, wow. That was the last one I thought. So you're dramatically underwater on a 10 % interest rate of death. Yeah, I know. It's like, f*** you. You're losing to the market in every way whatsoever. I actually had to order my car because it was in such high demand that they didn't have it. Payment's so high demand.

1:10:30Payment's so low that this is going to take forever to pay off. $281.31. What is this, like a 10-year term? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. My monthly payment is like$640 something. but I'm like, I'm super, super, super ahead of paying it. No, you're not ahead. You pay it by a little bit throughout the month. No, no, no. I pay, I make two payments a month. Every two weeks I make a payment. But because of the payments that I make, it's like, I don't, like right now, I don't owe a payment for like a month. The fuck are you doing? You can't, you just overdrafted. Why are you paying ahead on a car?

1:11:07That is the most fuck I've ever heard. Because it's one of those, it's on autopay. No, it's stupid. I just leave it. Well, stop. Just auto pay minimum. What's the minimum? I checked it. What's the minimum? What's the minimum? Like$640? Okay,$640. That's the minimum. But I pay$650. No, you're only doing minimum. You got credit cards that are accruing at like 28%. Fine. That's your overdraft and a cash advancing fund. This is so stupid. Fine. What is this? Any reason, any season ID? Yeah, so I did a debt consolidation. Cash advance. Which always works when we don't change our behavior. Go ahead.

1:11:38What? Tell me. I had like five, I think it was like four or five credit cards that were all like super bad. So the reason that it got so bad was because I had a Jeep Compass and it like shit out on me like right before my 26th birthday. It was in the shop three times within the span of two weeks. I spent over$7 ,000 on it. So I needed a new car. Oh my gosh. And that was the car that I wanted. So it's not a consolidation reason. I maxed out my Firestone. The rest of it ended up going on my credit card. It wasn't a tool that you were trying to use to actually, like, get – taking care of your shit, though.

1:12:11Your emergency in a situation that you're trying to find a way through. Yeah, it was. But it helped because it, like, cut all of my, like, monthly credit card payments in half. Yeah, at a 13 % interest rate. You're making them a shit ton of money for sure. Okay, but my car, like, me putting$7 ,000 into a 2015 Jeep Compass was not worth it. And so I, like – it was just time to let her go. And then that was the one that I wanted. I may have agreed with that. You just weren't in the right place to do it. Because again, you're locked in at a 13 % interest rate. So this is where we ended up. Well, your minimum payment is what?

1:12:43See, the thing is, I don't actually know what my minimum monthly payment is. I think it's like$3.30, but I pay$4.50. Well, stop. That makes no sense. I don't. But the thing, I don't know what my actual minimum monthly payment is. Go on there and figure it out. It doesn't say. No, you go on there and you just set up auto pay for minimum. What is wrong with you? Make a phone call. What is wrong with you? But I like to pay every two weeks. Because if I only do it like. Well, stop. Stop. That doesn't make any sense. Go through our budgeting class, please. Okay. And use the DollarWise app, please. You are so f***ed.

1:13:11If you are doing this weird budgeting technique that no one advises because you can't manage it, it's not working. You are overdrafting via your credit cards. If it was working, you wouldn't be doing that. So why follow something that is continually moving to not work? It's habit. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Why? So stupid. I don't get it. Convenience. Convenience. Overdrafting is convenient? Well, no, no, no, but like having it set up the way that it is. And it's like I know every month like Wednesday. Wait, so the boob job has to be in Florida? So, okay. So you have to get there? They gave me two options.

1:13:47There is one in Chicago. There's a surgeon in Chicago that they suggested. It's like a four-hour drive or something. But he's like$3 ,000,$2 ,000 or$3 ,000 more. So that was the thing. So no matter what, we have to spend more because you have to get to Florida. Yeah. Or spend a few thousand more in Chicago. I think it would have been perfect for me to do it at the end of the family vacation because we were already going. We were already going to be there. You're working with a concierge plastic surgery company that you found on Google? That's what Bliss is. What does that even mean? So they, like, partner you up with reputable surgeons that are, like, that have, like, specific certifications and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

1:14:24And then they give you, like, suggestions based off of, like, what exactly you're looking for. so because I was looking more towards like breast lift with like a slight augmentation those were the two doctors that they suggested me for because that's kind of like where they do their thing. Okay. Sounds like the biggest waste of money ever. It makes so much more sense versus like going online. Spending thousands we don't have regardless does not make sense. And then trying to find a plastic surgeon. No, just getting this makes no sense is what I'm saying. But it. Right now, dude. $562.61 owed on the synchrony care is this care credit?

1:15:06Care credit. Yeah. Okay. Of which is$30 a month paying off 19 months. Usually it's a deferred interest. Oh baby there is a 33 % and that's owed in a couple months. Oh no. A year and a couple months. Yeah. So I am already planning on getting that paid off. It's like I've already I've scheduled all my payments so that it'll be paid off before the interest hits. But I originally opened that up. What is your required minimum monthly payment in order to pay it off in time? Oh, God, I don't know. I mean, I can do the math. I think it's like 110. No, that doesn't make any sense. How's a 110? When is it?

1:15:45Wait, when's the interest free over? It's going to be about, I would do 38 hours to be safe. 38? Yeah. Oh, well, shit. Then I need to go through and cancel my. Yeah, see, you're broken. You're stupid. You don't know what you're doing. You're just doing things without looking. I thought that I only had like a six-month 0 % interest. March 2027. Shit, really? Yes. Wow. But if it's accruing at a 33 % interest rate, it's going to be hundreds ahead if you don't pay it off. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be paid. Well, I hope so. Are you incorporating in your plan your job getting laid off, which he pretty much told you was going to happen?

1:16:19No. Exactly. That's why you doing this, adding any kind of risk, doing this right now when you do not need to is moronic because you have an actual ticking time bomb in many ways coming at you. And the biggest one being a layoff. Caleb, I'm not trying. You cannot say trying. Shut the fuck up. I've been applying. I've got a job application for an autism behavior specialist. Why would they trust you? Because I work with kids with autism. But you're not licensed in that, are you? No, no, no, no. But they, it's not, I am not like the official physician or anything. I'm there for like care and advocacy.

1:16:59Oh, you're just going to be one of those enablement people though. I can already tell. Absolutely not. I do not let those kids get away with shit. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Fire stun. So this was for the. I don't use that. Okay, well, you have a balance. No, I added the boyfriend on as an authorized user, and so I let him use it for real changes and stuff. Well, yeah, but I don't use it. Does it matter? It's under your credit. Yeah, I know that. And you said he's worse with finances than you, and you're already pretty spectacularly bad. He was worse. So is he making the minimum of the payments? He just doesn't have any credit.

1:17:32Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's what's required right now. It's set on auto pay for him to pay it. Pay what? I don't remember the balance, but I think it's set so that it pays. The minimum or the whole thing? No, minimum is 29. Not quite the minimum. It's a little over the minimum. Okay. So minimum is 29. This is Firestone. Yeah. But that's not a me payment. Okay. Yeah, I'll put it in parentheses. But that's if he, what does he do for work? He does sales for. Well, sales is very up and down. So what if he can't? It's like lawn care and they do like holiday decor stuff. Your biggest fight. He started making a lot of money.

1:18:07Your biggest fight is that he didn't pay. Yeah, he just started the shop. That he didn't pay. Well, sales, by the way, can take months before it comes up. But also, it was literally like just a few weeks ago, you guys had a massive blow up and you almost left him because he did not pay bills on time. So don't put this payment in my column. Fuck you. What do you mean? This just happened. Well, you try to live way too positive for something that we just need to be objective on. That is so funny for you to say. Nobody ever says that about me. But you are about your finances. You are putting your head in the sand.

1:18:36Because I know it's going to be okay. Like this layoff you're not thinking about. Except this is how this works. People lose their houses every day. People go through bankruptcy every day. This is not how it works. People go hungry every day. Yeah. My grandma actually used to get mad at me because like when I was in college, I would, no, I would just like not eat and I would just pay my bills. And she was like, you need to eat. And I was like, yeah, but I have to pay bills first. And she hated that about me. Promo balance of 34%. Oh, oh. When does that end? I don't actually look at these things.

1:19:06I just sent them your way. Two days ago. Uh-oh, babe. You didn't give a f***. That's not me. The balance was small, which added, it's on your credit, you dumb f***. I know. What is wrong with you? But I don't pay any attention to it because, like, that's not me. But it's on your credit. It's so stupid. You owe this if he does not pay. Yeah. Or you're f***ed. Yeah. So what are you talking about? I swear, you're being so stupid for no reason. I'm so sorry. Oh, f***ing student loans. For what degree in women's studies did you get? I got a BS in business management. Okay. Didn't see that one coming.

1:19:44Why? Because I have yellow hair? Yes. Correct. I actually was going to go into, I started with microbiology, and then I f***ing hated it. Oh, yeah. So I switched. You betcha. Yeah. You betcha. That's a lovely stack of. Student loans. Yeah. So you graduated. Yeah. June last year. K student. Oh, June last year. So are your payments started? So I did set up my like payments. It's on the like pay as you earn or whatever type. That's not great. That ramps hard. No, my payment's$0. So I just don't pay anything. No, it ramps hard. Okay, well, right now I don't have to pay anything. No shit. Oh my gosh.

1:20:27You are not smart. I don't understand how it works. I mean, I didn't ask questions. The moment you file tax return, it shows you start making money. I didn't ask questions about how. You never do. You never advocate for yourself in any way whatsoever. I'm taking accountability. I didn't ask any questions about it. I just kind of like did it. And I was like, okay, well, hopefully this is right. Uh-huh. So what's bad about that? Bad about that? The moment your tax return shows you start making some more money, they're going to ramp those payments up. I already set it up for the amount of money that I make.

1:20:57Are you going to make more at some point? I mean, yeah. What money do you say you make? Just your salary, not your extra 33 % income? There it is. There's that smile. Oh, we all saw that. Shut the fuck up. Do you even pay taxes on those? No. Well, IRS, here they is. No, I don't. Why would I? Because it's money you made. No, because my tax money doesn't go towards anything that I actually support. Go. So why would I pay? The tax bracket you're in contributes less than like 1 % to the overall taxes. Okay, but that's still. So you should still contribute because you're more of a taker than a giver.

1:21:30How? Well, because you probably get a tax refund. No. Yes. I did. I have in the past, but not anymore. The payment for your student loans are at a$0 payment. Yeah. You're going to take advantage of social things throughout your life, social programs. Absolutely. Look at you. I mean, I have. Exactly. I grew up in poverty. So you're taking more than a giver. Well. And now you're not willing to contribute back now that you're making money. What's wrong with you? Not if the money's not actually going towards those things. I'm forced to write checks for millions of dollars a year. You say it doesn't?

1:22:00What do you mean? Social spending is by far the largest. They've cut funding. Social spending is by far the largest percentages of spending in this country. Well, yeah. No. No. Are you actually stupid? No. Is this what your degree in? Well, actually, no, you got a real degree. So I'm confused how you're. I got a real degree. I'm actually confused how you are a moron. That doesn't make any sense. No, because like they're trying to cut spending on all of the actual like social services and stuff that our government offers, especially in the state of Missouri. That's because we spend 20 % more than we bring in, and that's our largest category of spending.

1:22:43What are you on? What are you looking at? I'm telling you the percentages. Okay, well, you can tell me the percentages, but I'm from Missouri, so that's the show me state. So you have to show me what you're talking about. I can show you the percentages. Okay. So Social Security, 23%. Medicare, some of the stuff you're talking about, 14%. Medicaid and other health things like you're talking about, 12 % to 13%. Net interest on debt, why they want to cut spending because their debt keeps going up. Net interest on debt alone is 14 % of our spending. Discretionary spending, national defense, below that at 13%.

1:23:17Non-defense program, discretionary, 8 % to 9%. When was this for a board gun? 2025, this year. Mandatory spending, unemployment, SNAP, Social Security assistance, 7%. No shit they're trying to cut the largest spending by far. Are you surprised? Are you kidding me? We've seen people abuse it on this show. You're not even paying your taxes. No shit they're going to cut. I do pay my taxes. Just not that part. Not 33 %? Yeah. Just not that part. What is wrong with you? I only— That's only during the school year, so it's only nine months out of the year, so it's not like as much as— What is wrong with you?

1:23:53A lot. $452 in your checking account. Oh, it's all bullshit. Oh, no. Sorry. Do you give a shit? I do. I just, like, see, I do budget. No, you don't. You spend more than you make. Every week on Sunday, I go through my, like, checking account, and I write down, I forgot to bring my planner because I'm an idiot. You didn't even pay your taxes two years ago, and Grandma had to bail you out. I did pay my taxes. I didn't file them because I was having, like, a major mental health crisis, and so it didn't happen. Every five seconds of your life, apparently. Like, are you going to make it? I was unmedicated for the majority of my life until like four years ago almost.

1:24:33Okay. Well, this was. So, yeah. Until four years ago. This was a couple years ago. This was two years ago. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. This was before I got sober. No, you said medicated four years ago. Sober. You've been sober for four years. No, since 2020. Since August 14th, 2022. Yes. This was before then. That's what I'm saying. Or after then. No, it wasn't. I didn't pay. The date according to you from the interview. It was 2021 taxes. Ah, paid in 2022. Yes. Okay. Listen. Pest smart potential, but it's probably bullshit. $2.26. No, those are my crickets. Karnasheen. Those are my crickets.

1:25:09For what? I have geckos. Sheen. DoorDash. Which one? From Hulu. I don't pay Hulu anymore. Good Time Smoke. Yeah. Lake Recovery. There it is. $150. So$150 for how long? So this is a debt. January is my last month of paying it. Okay, then I'm not going to put it down. Well, actually, that is something we have to... No, it's this next one, so I'm not going to put it down. Yeah. We just got to keep it in the back of our head. Amazon, Amazon, Petco again, hot topic. Surprise, surprise, pull up your Amazon. DoorDash, Snookix, Amazon, Amazon. Snooks, that's groceries. For$7.81? Yes. Okay. Cryomion, Instant Ink, Hilton, traveling, f*** you.

1:25:54Scooters Coffee, Portillo's. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was when we were in Chicago. McDonald's, Exotic Vapors. We were in Chicago. Levy, Pest Smart again, Crickets. No, more that time. Kindle, Klarna. Go to the library. You'll f***. McDonald's, Totally T, Panda Express, Amazon, Zoomies, Schnuckix. Schnucks. Schnucks. Pull up your Amazon. You're f***. I did. Give. Here. You got one thing in your cart. Let's see. What do we got? A picture frame. 11 by 14.

1:26:26Okay, well, this is coming out after Christmas, and I won't tell you. Socks, screen protector, fit sink spray attachment, winter hat gloves. Those are okay. Thermal shirts. It's freezing right now. Maxi feminine pads. Those are for my mom. That's, oh, okay, I was going to say. I ordered them for her because she doesn't have an Amazon. Because we know you don't got one. I don't. I don't have what? You're moving away from Vagina Land. No, I'm keeping my vagina. You are? I just wish I didn't have a uterus because my— Get ready to move. I—my gynecologist doesn't want to do that because of the hormone replacement because I'd have to be on estrogen for the rest of my life.

1:27:02And we know you don't want that. No. Okay. Drying lotion. That's an odd kind of lotion to get. What is it? Oh, that's for my pimples. Sheer tights. Brightening clearing stuff. Wispy lash clusters. More lash bonds. Boom nutrition. Superfood greens. Yeah, I love that. Nose rings, great. Those are for him. Do I see a nose ring? Huh? Is he gay? No, unfortunately. Is he bi? No, unfortunately. Really? Yeah. Doesn't make sense. I call him straight adjacent, though, because I'm non-binary, so he can't be, like, straight. Yeah, we know you got issues. Palo-lateric things. Okay, there's a lot of bullshit in here, a lot of things you don't need, and then some things that are okay.

1:27:44Like, all this shit's on our curtains for days. We have to. Comforter sets and lots of screen protectors and eyeglass canners. That's because he keeps raking. Like, you don't really need it. That's not me. Breaking his what? His screen protectors. What's wrong with him? I don't know. He drops his phone all the time. All right, let's budget. Okay. Oh, I don't even think you saw my savings account. Where is it? Well, it's gone now, but... Okay. Well, what the... I used it to that lovely credit card that's at, like,$8 ,000. I put it towards that. Okay, well, I wouldn't do that until you changed your behavior.

1:28:18Because I wanted my boob job, so I was going to pay that off so that I can put my boobs on there. No, there's actually more than that. $2 ,000 dropped on a PC just to play Sims. We'll talk more about that in the post show. Hold it. Okay. Because we're about to go into that. But okay, I'm going to say$4 ,000 is your income. Let's get your minimum fee payments. I'll set it at$150 you owe for the rehab because that's about to leave in a month. Just keep it in the back of your head. And taking away his$29 payments, student loans are zero for now. They'll ramp up. Actually, approach your taxes. We'll see minimum fee payments in which you need required to pay off the care card before that accrues.

1:28:51$1 ,580. Okay, your portion of rent, how much? $725. Utilities including internet? Roughly$200. Gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive? Zero. Oh, because grandma. Car insurance? $170. Phone bill? $73. That's pretty good. If you want to get it lower and T-Mobile's getting your area, I would do helium. I have the upgrade anytime you want plans, so I get the new iPhone every year. Okay,$300 to the groceries. That's what you can contribute. use the meal plan use the cookbook you get it all TP fun anything else you need to survive 150 you need a little extra help so okay medical health care co-pays on a monthly basis medications all that good stuff medicines are 80 my psychiatrist is 75 per session or per month per month and I would toss on another 75 just because I'm seeing an ENT right now about getting a septoplasty for my septum yeah you got a small nose yeah Yeah, I've got very narrow.

1:29:51$230 for medical. Do you have a gym? $17. Okay. What pets do you have? I have two dogs. Yes, they have pet insurance. How much? It averages about— What's your pet insurance across the board? $80 because we split it. Okay. $80. Subscriptions, I'll try to put in about$40. Anything else that you— Oh, I actually don't have—I can't sell all my subscriptions except for my— Neither, and I see them. Except for my music and my cloud. Exactly. So there you go. Okay. Whatever. Anything else that needs to be in the budget that I have not taken into account? Dog food. Yes. How much for pet food? I would toss in another, I would just say like$250 for pets altogether.

1:30:37Whoa. Like foodie pet insurance? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'll cross out. It's easier for me to like calculate it that way. Well, but that's not how you're supposed to do it. Well, for the sake of getting this thing wrapped up. And I think that's it. Okay. Yeah, so$3 ,735. If you make 4 ,000 hours a month, which, by the way, you made less than that this last month. No, you made 11 hours more across both your jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without setting aside money for taxes, you made$11 more than you needed to survive. And that's not including your$150 that needs to go to the rehab. So, fuck off. And that's why I use my credit card sometimes.

1:31:15$265 is what's needed to survive. Listen, in order to pay off all this debt, or that's what you have left over, in order to pay off the debt,$74 ,423.83 divided by$265, it takes 280 months to pay off or 23 years. So that doesn't make any sense. This is the reality. One, you guys might want to downgrade your living situation the best you can. Next, Louise. Try it. And you just need to get a new job. We need to just get into a better paying job. Even getting to$50 ,000 is a big game changer. So get up to$55 ,000, start moving up to$65 ,000. you know, that you're not going to get that right away.

1:31:47Hopefully, they get you from a place where you are now to 55. So your full-time job is to get a better job so we can funnel all this extra money to pay off the debt because we could probably take care of this debt. Student loans, minimum payments until they're paid off. That's fine. But we could pay off the rest of the debt in a couple of years, get a fully funded emergency fund, and then get your debts. Do not do them now. You're going to lose a thousand. This doesn't make sense now. It's not in the strategy. And again, they're good. They're nice. We like them. They're fine. Okay. I'm sure he does too.

1:32:12Has he ever said anything? No, he actually is very against the idea of me getting a boob job. Listen, you guys will never see them. You have not seen them. Well, I hope they don't see them because I don't want you to start the off again. They probably haven't. But they are actually very nice. I understand why he's saying that. You're just doing it for you. Yeah. Don't. Until you want, until you can, which is in a few years. Okay. But go focus on a better paying job right now. That can be a reward after paying off all your bad debt and getting it in a fully funded emergency fund. I do like rewards.

1:32:38So there you go. Save that. Save that. That's the game plan. Let me give the Hammer Financial Score. Then we're going to go into the post show. We're going to bring the boyfriend in, look at the resume, talk about this $2 ,000 game PC, I guess. I do have that. Yeah, exactly. You probably have it. I think I have it. And we'll figure out. I'm sure there's drama between them. I'll find some text messages. Spending in a budget. You overspent. Zero out of ten. Yeah. No collections. It's not great for your income. The key is certainly underwater. Not the worst of the worst of the worst. Well, actually, you're overdrafting via your credit card.

1:33:07Two out of ten, I'll do, though. Emergency fund. there was nothing in savings. You just drained it. Zero out of 10. Retirement. What was the total? Five? Five thousand? Oh, my investments. Yeah. Yeah. About a two out of 10 for your age. I didn't necessarily count that as retirement. Hammer financial score. Rounded up to one. One out of 10. Oh, damn. Ladies and gentlemen, click that join button. Three premium utilities posted every single day, Monday through Saturday, six days a week now. Upgraded. Best membership number one on YouTube for a reason. It's going to be a great extra 20 minutes. I'll see you there.

1:33:37I have a little tidbit that I didn't share with you. Nothing we know? No. Oh, I don't even know? So you know how we talked about how we had that big issue with like paying utilities to me on time? Yes. So I actually audio recorded that conversation that we had. Camera Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. New dedicated premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise.