Financial Audit's Most Abusive Couple

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26:12Dude. I don't slather it. Oh, shut the f*** up. You can think that I do all the time. You're not at my house watching what I eat. So she'll never do either of those things. Yeah. Now what? I don't know. I guess I have no spine, and I think she's banking on me going back on that. Yeah, she broke it. That's crazy. Yes, I guess so. Wow. But I think she's probably banking on me going back on my agreements here as I've done with the other things. Is that true? No, he thinks it is, but I mean, I've also gone back on a lot of stuff that I've done too. This is a crazy note. They both admitted to Lindsay that neither of them are each other's type.

26:47He's not your type either? Not original. You're not her type. She's not your type. No, I'm too egotistical for her. She doesn't like that. He's also too skinny for me. What size are you looking for? Oh, I don't know the name of him. A lean 240. Name? That's funny. Lean 240. No, there's like someone who probably like 170, 180. Okay. With what height? I mean, I guess it is. I mean, his height's fine. I don't care about that. He's, that's fine. So you're too egotistical? Okay, this is crazy. So why are you guys getting married? Like, okay, yes, I know. Emotional attraction. I mean, that's the primary thing.

27:26But if we're not even physically attracted to each other, what are we going to do? Like, what? I mean, I'm attracted to him now. Not at first. But I had to learn to love him. And you? It's a process. I'm working through it with her. Yeah. I see the small improvements she makes, and it's just like something that I try and stay motivated on with her about. Does he ever struggle? Never. Good for you, friend. Thank you. I appreciate it. Good for you, friend. His libido used to be really low, but I don't know what he's changed now that it's definitely not. Just built different, I guess. I don't know.

28:04Yeah. Are you still going to the doctor every week? Because I don't know how you get it. It's not every week. I think what he's thinking of is it's therapies every week. Personal therapy is every week. Well, therapy is good. No, no, no, no, no, no. That was while she was working, it was every week. And now that she's done with it, now it's once a month. The doctor every week was like, my glasses, the health checkups. That's not every week for five months, though. It wasn't. No, he's not good with time at all in understanding how that works. Clearly, there's some validity in what I said because she doesn't have a job anymore.

28:35True. Wow. That is fair. Wow. Cool. I'm sorry. That's not unfair. You got fired. The f*** are you? A little freak? Okay, so what is going on now? What is going on now? What the f*** is going on? Well, I know he won't marry you. Yeah. And that is very important. Yeah. I forgot how this conversation even started. There's a reason I asked if you guys were married. Because we combined finances, I think. I can swallow your shit before you talk in a podcast. We don't combine finances. He doesn't want to, which I agree with, but he doesn't want to combine finances until we're married. but I do live with him and he does not make me pay anything.

29:13When I had a job, I only had to pay$300. Oh, well, the reality is, no, I remember. It's because he works. 4 ,400 in Austin. It's on that lower end. How the f*** are we supporting the household? How are we even able to make things... How are we even able to keep even now? This is the longest chew session I've ever witnessed. Take a drink! Even because I had money saved up from my job that I've been using to pay my bills, which aren't too bad. For how long? You've been out for a couple months now. Her finances don't play a part in any of the way of us staying alive. How are you able to keep us alive then?

29:54Y 'all alive. His credit card is what I use to pay my gas, medicine, and co-pays right now. As for finances, I'd say I'm pretty good with money. and so that's why we're ahead on things currently. It's break even, but if she's not able to support herself, then we're going to be in the negative when I have to pay her bills. And I'm now at the point where I can't. Like this month, I have to ask for him to help me with like 60 bucks because I can't afford the rest. Okay, well, the$300 that you're supposed to give him, you were let go in March, but you haven't paid him since January. Yeah. So what the f*** are you talking about?

30:25You're not helping. You're not contributing. You never contributed even when you had a job. I did last year. Is that last year? F*** last year. You got laid off in March. You weren't even contributing since before January. Yeah, because we had a trip in January that I was trying to recover from as well. Recover from? Why would you go on a trip if you can't give him the money you're supposed to give him? Well, that doesn't make any sense. Oh, okay. So I, oh, last October, I think, I let a friend borrow$600 from me that was in my savings that was meant to - Why would you do this? Because I have no backbone when it comes to my friends.

30:56And then in December, I had another friend come and hang out with us. and she ended up not paying me back for things and owed me money as well. So I was banking on them paying me back when they said they would and they never did. Well, they didn't pay me back in time. You guys have been together forever. We're going on six years since when you rescued her from the Puget Sound. Has she been like this for the last six years? Pretty much, yeah. I kind of stopped paying attention to her finances. Why would you stay together? If we're not... Study and play. Come together on a Windows 11 PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds.

31:40Get the Unreal College Deal. Everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at windows.com slash student offer. While supplies last, ends June 30th. Terms at aka.ms slash college PC. Willing to get married, we're six years in. Because I was in college. I paid my own bills in college. He didn't have to pay anything. I didn't, well, I lived with him for one year. Okay. But otherwise, I lived on my own. That one year, I asked him if he wanted me to pay for things, and he said no.

32:17Oh, you guys broke up while you were in college for a bit. We did, yes. Why'd you get back? Why did you get back with me? You're kind of the villain in the story, lady. I know, I am right now. You'll leech it off of him. You won't get a job. You are requiring a government remote job, which I don't even think they really do much anymore anyway. They actually do. A little, but I think - There's a lot, actually. And it's not remote right off the bat. It's a lot. Then you would give it. It's a thing of like, you have to - Government jobs take a while to get. You do realize that, right? Well, how far into the interview processes are you?

32:45It takes up to three months before you even find out if you get an interview sometimes. For everyone, for everything. Not for everyone, but for people in the government already, it's a lot faster. But the ones who are public on the outside, it takes a while. Go work in the private sector. What's that? a non-government job oh well yeah I mean I was doing that yes do it again if our entire excuse is we might not even know if we get an interview for three months then we're not applying to those jobs now I was I'm saying you shouldn't oh no no like on Indeed I have quite a few that I've applied for well I mean actually oh here it comes actually what I don't know how to I've actually wanted to try to find The other ones that I've Past ones I've done And I don't know where to go to find Oh of course So I mean Stop

33:47You can look I don't care I applied for two this week alone Not including It's the end of the week It's the last day of the week We're the final day of the week She applied for two. She applied for two. Okay. Progress. Small steps. No. Oh, okay. So this is why she's just doing this forever. Because you are an enabling freak. Yeah. I don't know how you can tell. I can't really deny that, unfortunately. I probably am an enabler. I mean, she's got my credit card on me, so I can't say no about that. I'm sorry, you could go date someone that you're attracted to. Like, what? I feel like she's the one that's like, would be more desperate to stay.

34:27She leeches off of you. You're financially sound. You're more her type than she is yours. What is your... I like her personality quite a bit. Sure, we can find a lot of personality out there. I'm trying to make sure that I put forth the best effort I can in a relationship. I have nine applications on Indeed. It should be more than that. No, nine. There's also government ones that you can't see. and then there's one. Yeah, I don't give a fuck about those when they take three months just to get an interview. There's ones on TWC. Don't give a fuck. Okay, this is a private sector. You're applying for government once off the...

35:03TWC is not a private sector. I said you're applying for nine in the private sector. The rest are for the government. The government. Well, those are the ones I'm doing on Indeed. Other ones, I went to UFCU on the website and did it. Did USAA. I did a lot of banks because I'm like, shit, banks will get jobs. I can do a bank teller. What are you doing? Just apply on LinkedIn and Indeed like a normal person. She applied to nine jobs. Most of them aren't real. Don't support her anymore. Don't support her anymore. She applied to nine jobs. It's been two months she applied to nine jobs. The other jobs that she's applying for require three months until you even know if you get an interview.

35:36Run from this. Run. Run. Gotta get my credit card back, I guess. Wow. That's some shit. I don't think that's unfair. You spent a thousand hours going out to eat. Yeah, because he doesn't want to eat anything. No, he makes$4 ,400 a month to sustain your ass. And you did$1 ,000 out to eat? I eat just a couple protein nuggets every day. I eat salad. Now, I said that was different. Like, I used to do that. Well, okay. This is your most recent statement, you pathetic. That, for one. Shut the fuck up. I used to. And then it's the most recent statement. So, for him. You told Colton, by the way, in the pre-interview screening, that you weren't even looking for a job.

36:18I never said that. Yes, you did. No. Yes, you did. You literally did. You can't say no. You literally said that. Maybe not that week. Because I've been helping move things. Nine applications, by the way, in two months. I know. I bring up the conversation and she shoots it down. She doesn't like having the conversation. And so. The herbivore salad eater. It's a thousand hours going out to eat last month. Cool. Yeah, but. The four nuggets for an entire meal. lady, thousand dollars going out to eat. Part of it's because whenever I was at work, Monday through Friday, and she has... We don't have those statements.

37:00Yeah, that was that month. Not all of them. Okay, here we go. Nope. This was the month after. First one. So go fuck yourself. Nope. Yes. That's April. Yes, it bleeds into both. Oh, okay. So March, I was told March I did not keep back a bunch of things. And I have friends who have really expensive tastes. So that's one of the things I talked about. So we would do like things and then they would pay me back. The other thing too is when I was working he does not like to pull things out of the deep freeze or something. He would forget to even though I'd ask him to. Deep freeze? Yeah I have a deep freeze.

37:44Okay. Don't get frozen food? Don't freeze food? meat that I freeze. Well, Tone, just go to F*** You Beats, your favorite place in the world. Yeah, and after a work day, I don't want to go into a store, especially at a... I don't give a f*** to you. What do you want to do? You go. We go. Dude, even... That's fine. Why do I have to if he's been home all day playing video games? Well, you're right. He should, but you should as well. Exactly. But wait, he has a job. How is he home all day playing video games? Whenever... So he used to do like Thursday through Saturday and every other Wednesday. So...

38:17Wait, okay, so he's still working. I'm confused. You have days off. He has days off. Well, yeah. So, like, we had an agreement that he would cook once a week at least because I was working. So we're talking one day, the six days, the other six days, then go to AGB. I would meal prep those days. So I would need him. Meal prep,$1 ,000 going out to eat. Well, I mean, he has a specific budget for us, and then when he'd be like, well, I don't want to pay anymore. $1 ,000? No. No, it was$175. Is it really$1 ,000? Yes, woman! That's a lot of red, yes. That's a thousand dollars. That is a lot of red. I did not know it was not much.

38:53The budget was$175. How is it a thousand? Dude, the math is as simple as caloric math, yet you can't do either of them. What is it? I should know. I'll tell you as we go throughout. You don't get to see now. Spoilers. Oh, cool. That's lovely. Also, dude's working. You're unemployed. Let him play some video games here and there. Oh, I do now. I'm perfectly fine. I don't care. he I mean now that I haven't been why are you with her leave before I don't want to break you guys up but like if she's like what the fuck she wants to be a trad all the time oh yeah I am right now and he's you're unemployed you're not a trad wife trad wives don't work yeah because they choose to though I guess you did choose to because you're telling Colton you don't want to work, but, and you haven't applied for jobs, but you're, I, you're indeed proved that to be the case.

39:48Shut the up. It's not just indeed that I apply on. Indeed is the easiest place to apply. That's who you would apply to. It's not a scam, but I understand what you're talking about. Some ghost jobs. There's a lot of way was much more of a thing two years ago than it is today. No, it's again the same. Maybe you should update yourself. Brother, we track this woman. You can play some video games. You can get someone with a personality. They're easy to find. I have a personality. I have quite a big personality. Sometimes multiple. And you can find someone without lymphedema. I'm not going to lie. I don't know what that is.

40:23I'm not an idiot, but I don't know what that is. It's the growth growing on her leg. Yeah, that's not a thing on me at all. It will be. No, it won't. Dude. Never. You can do so much, buddy. He also has quite a bit with me. We've built a relationship together. I know. So why would he need to go anywhere else? Because you're a leech and a liar and lazy. Am I a liar? Because you looked at one app that only tracks a little bit of what I have to do. Yes, because you've taken back what you told Colton earlier. And also, for what it's worth, you told Lindsay you work full-time separately. He told Lindsay you worked part-time.

41:01I worked 35 to 40 hours. Why did you tell Lindsay she worked part-time? Because a lot of the time she was not working full days. so and I'm pretty sure they were like six your full days because I was eight to five about his full days liar if you weren't working no I'm talking about mine I worked eight to five and then no I worked nine to five and then it changed eight to five and sometimes I just stayed till 6 p.m. and I drove an hour one way I'm pretty sure we had a conversation where you said that your big boss didn't like you being full-time and you weren't allowed to work full-time hours and I think you said you had to work 32 hours or less or you keep getting in trouble with your boss and 32 I think is technically part time.

41:40You were required to take exactly one hour lunch and I wouldn't because there would be work to do so I would take less. But you were required to. Yeah and they were also required to have you at a specific time of arriving and why the person I was with arrived late and out for hours every day. I don't give a f*** about that person. I care about you. Whenever he got on to me for not taking a full hour I started doing exactly a full hour. You're not cooking. You make him clean. I do cook. You make him clean. How can you call yourself a trad boy? I cook. I clean. Why does she make you clean then? Fairness.

42:13She's tired sometimes. So she feels like... From being unemployed? Hey, I don't know. It's exhausting. Sometimes, maybe. Taking care of some dogs can be exhausting. Nine indeed applicants in two months. That is quite the winded activity. News to me. I was expecting more. So why is she exhausted in you having to clean after you pay the bills? I couldn't tell you on that one. I don't know. But you're a little cuck, so you don't give a f***. You're going to stay regardless. Apparently, yeah. That's my name. Yeah. That's pathetic, dude. Todd the Cuck. I guess so. She actually enjoys it, too, because she knows that she can do anything.

42:48You can do anything. No, not true at all. What? No, there's quite a bit that I have in rules. Also, a thousand hours going out to eat in a month is not cooking. No, not that time. No, not whenever I was working. Oh, not the time that was our most recent statements. Well, I mean. Not all of it was when you were working, by the way. Some of it bleeds into the month after you got laid off. After, not laid off, fired. I should clarify, because you were bad at your job. I wasn't bad at my job at all. Okay, well, you got fired. Yeah, the company was also going under, and there was a lot of behind-the-scenes things.

43:22Oh, shut up, I don't care. The company that fired me, I'm salty about. Every former employee ever. He told Lindsay you worked part-time, he said full-time. You told Colton you weren't looking for a job, and then the applications were nine. So it's like, what the do I believe? Yes, you're a liar. Cool. I'll close that loop. I don't think I am. Great to disagree. That's fine. Oh, she doesn't think she is. Very good. Okay. That's wonderful. I mean, we just laid out a relatively decent amount of proof, but. You just don't care to only look at one app of something instead of multiple because you have to be right about everything.

43:54What are you talking about? App? Yes, indeed is an app. Oh, yeah. The app. Are the other ones apps? They're websites. Can you pull up all your application history for me? Then I'll allow you to provide evidence if you'd like to. But I already told you you shouldn't be doing government jobs anyway if you have to wait three months just for a interview because you need to go make money now. I understand. And I am making money. You understand that you do nothing. I'm not making enough, but I am making money. How much do you make from this cleaning? 80 a week, so however much that is. She's really making a dent in that$1 ,000 a month going out to eat.

44:29Yeah, that's fair. You'd have email confirmations, right, of applying to these jobs. You could search job application, something like that. I think the reality in the end, let's just be talking, not that you are a housewife. It's not a housewife. It's not trad wife. The reality is you're just a gold digger. I don't think I am, but cool. Any evidence to suggest otherwise? I take care of the house. Brother, you make him clean after he works a hard day. And she said, he just said, yes, you do because you're exhausted sometimes. exhausted from sitting. The only cleaning that he has to do is vacuum the house.

45:03That's it. Why does he have to vacuum the house? You should. You do nothing. Because there should be expectation that he does at least something because whenever we have kids whenever we have kids they're jobbing themselves and even I relatively agree but if you say you are the trad if you want the true traditional trad it is you cook you clean you take care of kids he brings home bacon. That's it girl. Then maybe he should actually bring home bacon and not want to just You're unemployed

45:33Run She will not catch you Run Damn That's crazy Is it Yeah I don't know I mean yeah It's crazy Doctor says she can't work out For more than 50 50 minutes a week I don't listen to that I do more You can't even vacuum I can I choose not to Actually I have You've found an amazing trad partner. I have. I've been doing the yard work because he usually bans me from doing the yard work, and I do it now to be nice for him. And then... What yard work? Like mowing and weed eating and that type of stuff. How much lawn is there? It's a normal house. It's a normal house, yeah. Not a big lawn at all. Okay.

46:18Which is fine. It's just he doesn't want me doing it, which I don't understand why. But I'm perfectly fine with doing it. I don't understand why you can't just go get a temporary job while you're applying for the jobs that you'd prefer to have. I can get a temporary job. It's just we've had the conversation and I thought we agreed, but apparently not after having another conversation with him is I don't want to go get a job in like fast food or... But why does what you want matter? You need, the house needs more money and you have bad debt that you need to pay off for him to consider that one of your two items before you get married.

46:52The only bad debt I have is my car. and even then I've been told by multiple people. Okay, there is a lot of paperwork here. So there is more than just a car that we're about to look at in general. There shouldn't be. It should just be school loans, student loans, my car. We'll see. And then what I own family. The fact is in this relationship, you guys have already broken up in the past and you literally get furious mad when he asks you to work out. I don't get furious mad when he asks you to work out. Hey, what do I even know? She says that he gets mad. You said it. He gets mad when he asks you to work out with him, with him and you say no.

47:22Oh, because I think he's ridiculous in how he works out and he's not. Oh, sorry. He gets mad. He gets mad when he asks you to work out with him and you say no. That's an interpretation. I wouldn't say I get angry at her. I think you actually should, though. Not like, I'm not saying I'm abusive, but I think it's okay to be upset that you're morbidly, morbidly, morbidly, morbidly, morbidly. Yeah, I think I hit class four. Obese. Girlfriend that you want to be your wife, that you want to live past 50. Not controversial on that, by the way. I would love you to live a long life. That's honestly why I really dive into obesity is because it's a financial harm and it's an energy harm for income.

47:58My family all live into their 80s and more. Oh my goodness. Were they as fat as her? No. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. And to celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30 % off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you, but it's limited to the first 1 ,000 people to purchase. For a one-time payment of$500, you'll get our entire Hammer Elite catalog for life. And a limited edition Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch you can't get anywhere else.

48:38Plus, you'll get access to our exclusive 4-hour Hammer Elite Day livestream on June 27th. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. You suck with money, so you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one, Wynab, but everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to EveryDollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rocket Money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage.

49:13Guess what they want to sell you in the end? Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like DollarWise. Built by these people just like you, for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now, start the free trial, DollarWise.com. Link in the description below. Yeah, no one is. So the thing is... Eh, it's not true, but okay. No one that makes it that long. it would be reasonable for you to be upset that she doesn't work out with you.

49:52I do now. A lot's changed. I do now. Over the course of the last week? No. Great. Over the course of the last few months. Since the interview where you said that? Like, what? Shut the f*** up. No, he still gets mad, like, if I don't want to work out with him because I do stuff around the house. Yeah, this was since Wednesday when you said it. She's changed since Wednesday. It's Saturday. Heh. Well, still. No! I'm not going to give you the W for that. You won't even go work a temp job. Pathetic. Pathetic. Both of you, you're evil and you're a pussy. Can't really deny that, unfortunately. No shit, because you're a pussy.

50:31Yeah. Just take it from all angles. What? Yeah. Really? Well, I'm letting this guy dog on me for letting you dog on me with my finances, so that's crazy. I can't really do much about that. Grow a backbone. Give me my credit card. We'll start with that, I guess. It's not on me physically right now, but sure. Where is it? In my purse. Go. No, that'll take you like 10 years to get back. Ha ha, why the fuck you? Honestly, it wasn't a joke. I don't want to wait for you to have to go all the way over there and back. Sure. Now, the weird thing is, and I don't know if I fully agree with this and your relationship before we just move on to the finances, about the weight thing, because that is a big part of this, because the marriage relies on it.

51:18I agree. You should be healthier. I'm with you on that. I want to cheer for your health, because what's the point of sacrificing everything that's going to be required to sacrifice if you're not going to live to see it, right? So, okay, I get that. She says that you specifically consistently ask her what her weight is for the day, and her answer depends on if you're a dick to her or not for the rest of the day. I don't know if we should be horrible to someone. Am I horrible for just asking for updates? I mean, we're six years into a relationship and I'm asking and I'm just asking what's going on.

51:50You heard my question. That's not what I asked. How you treat her depends on the answer for the day. Okay. Maybe if I get frustrated with her answer, I'll be a little quiet. I wouldn't say. You're not quiet. You're an asshole to me. What do you mean? Well, besides the fact that he does get quiet, it's he gets an attitude. Anything that I try to do that I'm like, hey, do you want to hang out together? Do you want to play a video game and I paint or something? because that's what we each like to do. He's like, I just don't want to talk to you right now. Just go. Just leave me be. Or I'll try to like cuddle up to him and ask for a kiss or something.

52:23Send Help is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. We're somewhere in the Gulf of Thailand. Getting us out of here should be your focus. I'm your boss. You work for me. We're not in the office anymore. It's bold, relentless, and endlessly rewatchable. discover why critics give it 93 on rotten tomatoes you're so fired oh am i no help is coming send help rated r now streaming on hulu and hulu on disney plus wow thanks anyway sorry i can't he um well he prefers cuddles anyway i'll try to do that and he's just like he'd rather be with the dogs instead i'll shake your hand for that one that's like no matter what he'd prefer to be with the dogs and his games.

53:10I'm like, that should not be first. It should. Wait, always? No matter what? It's better now, but he used to be that way. He used to be video games and dogs and that's it. Well, I understand that one. You're not pleasant. I mean, he says he likes my personality, so clearly there's something. But you're financially abusive and manipulative and just like not a good partner. So that part's fair, but I don't think you should determine how you treat her for the day. Did someone just use hand sanitizer? Mark, why? What are you doing back there? You just... We're 50 minutes in. 50 minutes into filming a podcast.

53:49What have you been touching over the past 50 minutes that require? You're sitting there watching the audio, Marcus. What are you... Come over here, Mark. What the f*** are you doing? Ladies and gentlemen, you know him. You love him. I didn't think I'd be on for this. It's been 50 minutes. What have you touched in the last 40 that require hand sanitizer at 50 minutes? Well, I got kind of bored, so I was like touching my face. But I had a quesadilla for lunch, so I was like, oh no, all that grease. The quesadilla is getting on my hands. Now you can probably smell it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you, Mark.

54:30That was a very strong hand sanitizer. there. Okay, you're fat. What's our financial score zero to ten for the household? Oh, for the household? Ooh, I bring it down. He brings it up. Six minimum. Five, maybe four and a half. Class four. Wow. I'm so sorry. No, I'm not because you're a bad person, but like, okay. And you're pathetic as well. Oh, okay. I got permission. Yeah. I'll take it. If you want your Hammer financial score, get it for free. Calebhammer.com. You know where to go. It is free. It just takes a few minutes. You can see where you're standing. The world of finances, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great.

55:07Take that assessment. They did. You can too. And if you don't want to, what the are you talking about? No, he just looked at me. If you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you use the DollarWise budgeting app. Take it. Sign up for the annual version if you like it after the trial. Most people do because you save almost 50 % and then you get my 30-day budget meal plan signed by me, mailed directly to you. It's awesome. And the digital version of the cookbook, by the way. Check that out. here you go no chance in the world in this but okay no but I'll take it okay so I just don't unfortunately don't remember oh yeah no no I do remember okay yeah no I still want an answer I don't think you should be treating so like I'm treating her like shit right now but that's the show and it's fair and she's a piece of shit and so are you kind of in a different way but just like you ask for a number once a day and then you how you treat her depends on the numbers that's a bit horrible It's not like a schedule.

56:00I don't wake up and say, all right, it's 6 a.m., give me your weight. That's a little overboard. It's just an occasional checkup, and I wouldn't say it's daily. Maybe once a month. What makes you so angry and so bad? Just no progress, I'd say, or minimal progress, considering we're six years in and she knows the limits. Then why do you get with that? I think we've already established because I'm a pussy, so I'm working through things. True. Were you desperate at the time? No, I wouldn't say I'm desperate. No, I'm not desperate. Are you? No. Because if he treats you bad and he's like. I have other people that want me to break up with him to be with him, but I refuse to do it.

56:39I know because men are insane. No matter the women, every woman has been gassed up to like supreme level in 2026. I have someone in my life who's like, oh, you don't need to lose weight. And I'm like, are you stupid? It's incredible. Are you fucking stupid? Literally the worst women among us and the most unattractive can have any man they want. And then for men, I'm sorry, there's a little red pill, but there's relatively the truth. You have to be in like the top 10%. Red pill? I think you mean blue pill. No. Red pill? Yes. You have to be in like the top 10 % just to get her. But clearly there's people out there that would prefer me, unfortunately.

57:12That's the thing I'm saying. That's crazy. And part of the reason, one of the many reasons why I want to stay with him is he actually challenges me and wants me to lose weight instead of being happy that I am. He challenges you. What do you mean? how much do you weigh today? Oh, I'm not saying that. What? No, that's just what he asked you. That's his challenge. Oh. Well, you're not saying that. I mean, I have it. It was like 283. It was like your last weigh-in. Oh, it's gone up. Oh shit, maybe she is class five. No, I'm not. Will you step on the scale if I give it to you? No. Okay. I don't know if I want to put it through that much trauma.

57:47That's fine, but I'm not doing that. Pourquoi? It's none of your damn business. Ish. I mean, it's the show, but. I don't care. That's not happening. No, that's fine. I'm not going to force you to do anything. But like, I mean, why were we given a weight if it can't be confirmed? And this is such an important part of the conversation, apparently. Oh, I don't know why I didn't give a weight. No, we were given a weight. Yeah, I don't know why. 285 is what was told to the producers. Yeah, I don't know why I did. But you can't confirm the weight you told us? Maybe. Your phone's not going to confirm it.

58:19Yes, it can. Okay, well, I think the scale would confirm it. I'm not stepping on a scale. So why? Why show me the thing on the phone but not the scale? I'm not going to first get on the scale, but I don't understand the phone thing. Because it gives a date and everything for the last weigh-in. Yeah, this isn't the last weigh-in. Huh? This is April 7th was the last one. That you put in, though. No, no, no. What's the most recent weight? April 7th was 300. So I have a scale that whenever you step on it and you let it run until course and you have the app turned on, it'll send all of your body metrics over to it.

58:49So she's gone up. How does that make you feel? No, that's April 7th. Okay, on Wednesday you said 285. Yes, do your math, do your dates. We're not in April. I know, but you don't have a way in since then. You didn't weigh yourself since then. Yes, I have, not on this app. I just don't, I don't do the app. Like I get on the scale, but I don't have my phone on me to like track the app. I need to, I'm really bad at doing that. Dude, the thing is, you know, for what it's worth, I mean, same thing with people who just want to spend bad. If you actually want to be incredibly unhealthy and whatnot, I actually don't care.

59:23Live that life. I'll support you. It's fine. It sucks for our medical healthcare system and the price we all have to pay into it and a lot of other things. But either way, it's just like, do it. That's fine. But it's different. If you actually care about it, then I'm going to bully you. I do actually care about it. Okay, I hope so. I don't want my kids to go through the bullying that I went through as a kid. Yeah, no, I don't want you to get bullied either. The only reason we do a lot of shows is because we have permission and it's fun for the show. But like. I don't want them to have like health issues that I'm possibly having right now.

59:56Possibly. No, you are. No, I'm not. No. No. The test confirmed that I don't. What test? Blood test. You tell me don't got the diabetes? Nope. Will you take a blood pressure test right now? Yeah. I've also been shaking my leg, so probably should wait like five minutes. What? Yeah. I've heard a thing. like anytime I go to the doctor I get really nervous and I'll like shake a lot and then like you have to wait five minutes of being completely still for the blood pressure. Pull it out! That's fine. I want her to be around for a while. Right. I do too. That's why we have these conversations and work on these things.

1:00:32Here's Marcus freshly clean. I don't know how to do this thing. If you'd like to administer on your woman. Do you know how to do it? Yeah, you wrap it around that arm if it fits and you can And you just sit like this. I'm through. All the way up, I think. Yeah, right there's good. And just make it not super tight, but, you know, like firm. It's down there. I don't know. Is that super tight? It doesn't need to be super tight. You're good. That's fine. And click that button. You just sit still and we'll all be quiet.

1:01:16That's impossible! No way that happened! It's not on right. It's not on right. I put it on. You can do it. I don't know how to do it. What are we doing? It's not on right. That's impossible. It did not snap. Thanks. I'm sorry. Your arm is very thick. Okay, just sit like this. There. What? Just hit the power button.

1:01:47How do I do that? How do I do this? Yep. No, I do. I do. Leave it alone. I'm just holding it in place. Don't, don't, don't.

1:02:06That's crazy.

1:02:12Are you too advanced for an at-home blood pressure shirt? I just never needed one. My blood pressure's fine. I hope so. They always tell me it's fine or it looks. You're 25, so you have time on your side, but...

1:02:30155 over 76. Okay, 155 is high blood pressure hypertension stage 2. And what did I just tell you? That I've been shaking my leg. It matters. All the way up to 155 from 120? Probably. Probably. I think the first time I got my blood pressure was like 186 or something. I'm not a medical expert, so I'm not diagnosing anything. But what I do recommend is like, go get your blood pressure checked. I already do every time I go to the doctor. And I have to go on the third, so they do it. There we go. So that's good. Every time that I go, they're like, yeah, it's in the normal range to low. Do I need to pull up my medical charts?

1:03:06No, no, no, no, no, no. I do care about your health for what it's worth. Yeah, it was a fun bit, but it's like, 155 is kind of high. Yeah. I'm hoping that's just a moment, a moment of nerves for the show. There's been a lot. They wait like 15 minutes and they come back and they'll take it. If it's like crazy anxiety, caffeine, walking, all there's no rest, that could be like 10 to 20. I mean, I am. So it would still be elevated, right? At that point, you'd still be in that stage one. okay cool just saying okay I do care about your health I know we're memeing we're having fun but like it's just like yeah I do agree okay so you have no job 4 ,400's all that comes in that's not good what's the USAA card?

1:03:55checking or credit? credit all of the USAA is mine okay you're the one is this the one that she has? yeah it fits the credit card what's wrong with you? so it's not just card loan and shit like this you've racked up his credit card that is accruing interest that is, did you purchase? Well, okay, so depending on the month, too, it might not be much of me. March to April, in between March and April. Hybrid. Did I have it in March? It's still a mix of both of us for those two. Okay, well, you spent more than you put towards it while interest is accruing. Yeah, I didn't put anything towards it. I don't put anything towards it.

1:04:27No, you got a new job. You got laid off your trad wife. By that, she means applying for aid jobs. Okay, so this takes 15 years to pay off. Will you be here? I hope so. I mean, yeah. Yeah, I'll be here. Well. I'll be here. Okay, changes are required. Okay, but so this takes 15 years to pay off. Minimum day payments only without any purchases. And oh, she is purchasing. Because she has nowhere else to purchase. You are sugar daddy-ing her. No, I mean you are. Apparently, I got a lot of nicknames. Sugar daddy's up there. No, no, you are. Like she's spending your money. She provides nothing to the household.

1:05:04I provide quite a bit to the household. You make him vacuum. So what? That's one thing out of multiple. What are you providing? Really? I cook his meals. I make all of his. One day a week, I thought. No, no. Wait, a thousand hours going out to eat. Where's the cooking? I do cook. It's just one thing's expensive. But. Oh, come on. Groceries are so much cheaper than going out to eat. Yeah, groceries are pretty high too. Statistically in every way whatsoever because the actual things that you buy last multiple meals. Well, yeah, what I'm saying. We check it via H-E-B, your favorite place. 300 bucks per person can be a great three meals at A plus dessert snack drinks.

1:05:45Per month? Yes. Cool, we spend less than that. Because you spend a thousand going out to eat. Because you don't cook. You just proved your point. If you spend less than that, then you're not cooking very much. I do cook. You're not very much because you spend less than what's required for the three meals. When I was working, I didn't cook as much. Girl, if you're spending less than that now, then you are not cooking enough. I do. Oh, that's mathematically impossible. Oh, me, man. Can't get through with this one. Her skin is thick. Hey, when you're this big, you have to have thick skin. Could also just lose weight, but yeah.

1:06:24Working on it. Kind of. Didn't you gain again? So what is your normal monthly payment? I don't know, like 50 bucks, 100 bucks. Yeah, how much is more? Because it's not on the statement. Because you put money towards it and then you spent more. I'll put it as 100. No, let's put it as 50. I'd say 50 is more accurate. How the f*** would you know? Because we budget together. What? You budget together? Yeah, you spend more than you make? Well, so we have a budgeting thing that I put together. It's not so much budgeting. Oh, she put together, but what the f*** does she mean? Actually, he put it together originally.

1:06:55We look at our expenses for the last month. That's really all it is. We're not like sitting down budgeting. That's the minimum payment. Because it's 50 to 60 is the average I see every single month for his credit card. So I assume that that's the monthly minimum because he typically... Okay, and then we purchased more than we put towards it for... I'm sorry. It is the ultimate fat woman destination. It really is. Did I say Disney World? No, but that would be too. But no, you don't go there on a daily basis. That would be crazy. You would not be able for that. Sonic. Oh, yeah, we have two dogs.

1:07:31That woman loves stopping at Sonic. I would get a drink and then we would get pup cups too. That's why they're typically smaller charges. It's always for like the sugary pops with the candy in it and shit. No, I usually get a Coke. They get crazy. You get crazy. Coke, full calorie Coke? Yeah. Woman! That's what I would do as like my... Sonic, Sonic, Sonic! Sonic again. Game pass. That one's probably you. Sonic! Girl! A lot. Girl! Sonic again! And Microsoft Amazon. Fourth of July savings are happening now at the Home Depot with select appliances starting at$398. Plus, get free delivery on appliance purchases of$398 or more, no membership required.

1:08:14Upgrade your kitchen with a modern and sleek GE profile refrigerator featuring hands-free autofill for the perfect pour every time. And make Laundry Day easier with two-in-one washer-dryer combo innovation that completes laundry in about 90 minutes. Shop top brand appliances now at the Home Depot. Offer valid June 17th through July at the U.S. only C-Store online for details. Hey, Amazon. Bullshit from the Buc-ee's. That's gas. One was gas and then he went inside the same day and got some Buc-ee's. Yeah, I did. Yeah, you f***ed did. I know you. I see you every time I'm there. Copy and paste. Is that the morning?

1:08:49If that's morning. Bro, I don't know the time. That's both of us. It doesn't say. That's probably both of us. It's at a 14.4 % interest rate. It wasn't, it was like... You can't put that on me. Oh, I didn't even catch this. You literally said that's your cheat for the day. You can't have a cheat for the day and lose weight. There's no such thing as a cheat for the day. Having a drink? A full calorie Coca-Cola? Is the only thing I drink besides water? What is that? 500 calories? 600 calories? Is it really? 700 calories? What size? Like a medium? Well, a medium, a Sonic. With no eyes because I hate their eyes.

1:09:23Whoa. Their ice has like stuff in it that's gross. Medium Coke with no ice from... Is it really that much? Girl! And now she's confused why she's not losing anyway, even though she eats her salad. Eh. Yes. Really? Dude, pop is one of the worst caloric things you can have. That's how you go. Yeah. Dr. Pepper zero. Or Gamersupps. That's zero calorie too. If that's a zero sugar, yeah, I hate diet flavored things. They have a really nasty... Then you're on water, dude. But zero sugar, I do like the flavor of that. It's just the... It's at least 300 calories. Okay. That's insane. Yeah, that's something I definitely should not be doing.

1:10:05Yes! Speaking of gamer subs, another really good zero calorie item is a course careers certification, of which I will get you because in the audience, they have used that to convert into six-figure jobs. And you need a f***ing job. I do. They even have it in IT, so... Oh, okay. Well, that's great. You'll get it for free. Do you deserve it? No, but okay. And this just, this isn't even calculating your spending, by the way. So this was just taken for an additional extra month just for funsies. Yeah. Of what it looked like when you had a job, which is even worse. Because I have your spending when you didn't have a job.

1:10:42This is what it looks like when you did have a job. Bullshit. Mexican. Cinemark. Chick-fil-A. IHOP. And we know. Bullshit. Cinemark. Chick-fil-A. Bullshit. Amazon. Cinemark. ATM withdraw, Venmo, eBay, eBay, Wendy's, squirt, quilt, skirt, squirt. Oh, that's... Shirt quilt. Yeah. Is that Fat People shirts? No, no. What is that called? Fat People need shirts too. It's a quilt made out of old t-shirts that I did for... Sonic. Yeah. Cash App, Cash App, Southern Scoops, Chick-fil-A, Cash App, Domino's, Chick-fil-A, Bath & Body Works, Cracker Barrow. this is just an example of what it's like when she has a job.

1:11:24She spends all of her money. Why even be with her? Because when she spends a job, it'll be even worse. Venmo, BJ's restaurant, Avery Kyle, Avery Kyle, The Grill, Cash App, bullshit, Cash App, bullshit, bullshit, Chick-fil-A, coffee, Brahms, bullshit, bullshit, Pluckers, Pluckers is the worst calories you could ever have, by the way. Delicious, though. Claire's, good morning, like, restaurant, coffee, or something, I don't know. Bullshit, Sonic Chick-fil-A Chick-fil-A Ice House yeah that makes sense on why it's a thousand now I took my trip to my family that wasn't calculated in your monthly spending that was that was the other one that was taken just for fun to show what it looks like when you have a job oh that wasn't a thousand oh shit money owed a grandpa who's grandpa mine pourquoi my old car I needed two thousand for and then for like books for my school because it was agreed before I went to college that he would pay for them.

1:12:21But now I really want to pay him back. Oh, so he's not asking for it? What about the$2 ,000? Because you should at least pay the$2 ,000. He wants the$2 ,000. I want to do the$4 ,000 because everyone— Do the$2 ,000. Stop it. If he agreed to pay for it, it doesn't matter. That's a gift at that point. But the$2 ,000, yes, you should pay back 100%. 100%. And what's weird, especially with the grandpa, is I know that your families do not support this relationship. He does. He does, but the families do not. Yeah, they don't. What? What do we? Why? What's going on? My family thinks that he's too verbally abusive and...

1:12:55The f*** is he doing? Hold on, I've been anti-you right now, but if he's verbally abusive, I'm going to f*** the shit out of him. I'm not verbally abusive, first off. No, she just... And controlling. If you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles, you should hear this. Recently, a jury ordered Meta and YouTube to pay millions for their role in designing and promoting addictive platforms. They knew their apps could contribute to anxiety, depression, and body image issues, but did not share those risks while prioritizing profits. The recent historic verdict underscores the consequences of those decisions.

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1:13:46That's kind of f***ing stupid, I'll be honest. but what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money free money we like free money you can get up to 200 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that i use chime also it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 apy interest rate guys you can watch financial audit and get free money at the same time who would have thought that's incredible check it out link in the description below really how am i controlling if she's got I want to hear from your side. Tell me. Tell me all this stuff. They don't like the fact that he wanted me to, like, one stop going to college for a little bit.

1:14:26But then I'm going to turn around and help and, like, be like, oh, you should finish it. And then. That's verbally abusive? Well, no, there's more. It's like. What's the verbal abuse? They really just, once again, don't agree with the weight thing and think that he should be supportive of trying to help. Okay, that's not verbal abuse. Well, yeah. there's, yeah. That's just him wanting his partner to be healthy or else why would he be with his partner? He plays video games and he'd rather play video games instead of spend time with me. That's not verbal abuse either. Well, whenever he yells at me.

1:14:58Okay, there you go. Can you tell me? Oh, I mean, he'd yell at me and be like, look, I'm playing my game. Leave me alone. I'd be like, I'm just trying to spend time with you or something. Are you yelling at her? That's not good. Sometimes I'd get frustrated. I'd be playing games and I just want to break, not have to think, turn off my mind. I agree, but don't yell at her. Say, hey, I just need some time, some personal space. Something to work on, absolutely. So he just explodes and yells at you with that? That's not good. That's not healthy. Sometimes, yeah. That's not good. A lot of when it also comes with his family, a specific part.

1:15:29Her family's opinion on me is from the beginning of the relationship, not currently. The first time they broke up, it was because he was doing too much roughhousing with her and she didn't stop when she said stop? What the f*** is that? He, I guess he didn't pay attention whenever I was like, it's too much. Like you need to chill out and everything. And he just kept going. She'd tell me to stop and I would stop. No, you did not. There were three times that you did not. Not doing what? Well, we probably don't want to talk about it on the air. We'd rather avoid it. I think we do. Oh, you would rather avoid it.

1:16:07I'd rather avoid it. Nothing, nothing like. Well, so it's sexual. Not like WWE. Of which she said stop and you didn't. Just sexual stuff. Of which you said stop and you did it three times. There was one time that you did hit me that wasn't fun. That was in like the first six months of us being together. Not hitting. It's spanking first off. No. Let's be very clear. It's spanking, not hitting. Where? It was not spanking. Where? I think it was like, I don't want to say because it makes him look really bad. Okay, fine. You did slap me one time way too hard, like on the face, because we were playing and...

1:16:49Playing? We were playing. I got too aggressive, and I told him he needed to calm down and everything, and he didn't realize, I guess. Okay. And I think I... I think I might have accidentally poked you in the butt or something that you hate, and then he, like, slapped me. So... Like, actually, like, mean? It hurt pretty bad, and it was not okay with me, So I stepped back for quite a bit and it was stuff that I've talked to my therapist about. Fair. Fair. And then the other times you've gotten too aggressive, you have left marks on me before, like on my arms and stuff because you've like grabbed too tight.

1:17:28And again, this was all like the first two years of us being together. Things have massively changed since we broke up whenever I studied abroad and then we came back. Things really did change because it was part of why we took a while. That was like right when you graduated high school. So you were like 22 and she was 18. I was 19. I was 19. Yeah, no, no, no. She's right. It doesn't make you look good. But it's gotten better. Yeah, he hasn't done that in a while at all. And he listens more. More? Or does he stop when you say stop? Oh, no, he does stop. He does stop. Why wouldn't you stop when she says stop?

1:18:03I would say I don't even do it in the first place anymore. Yeah, he doesn't. I don't even remember that situation. What is the point? I'm asking the fact. Okay, so now she says it happens. I don't even remember that stuff. So we prefer physical abuse over verbal. That's a crazy thing to say. Well, not really, actually, from what does happen. Okay, so your parents don't support him. I think that's relatively fair now. His doesn't support me either. For? Go ahead. May as well hear the opposite side of it. Well, as you know, I've had sexual issues, complications, generally. generally. Well, let me rephrase.

1:18:40Where you kept going when she said stop, yes. No, no, no. Not like that. Like sexual attraction is what I'm referring to. Towards the beginning of the relationship and she didn't get sex enough. Why were you dating? Why were you dating someone you weren't attracted to? I really don't understand this. Like you're friends with someone who has a good personality that you don't want to. Continue. Anyway, so she put something in my drink one time to get me hard and for whatever reason thought it was a good idea to tell somebody in my family about this conversation. She did you. Kind of. And so that word got around in my family.

1:19:16No. I don't know. We got sick. You were just. You got sick and you're just walking around fucking around. Oh, no. It didn't work and we both got sick from it. How did you get sick from it? Because I took it too. We both took it. What did you do? What was this medication? Something you can buy at a store. Yeah, well, what's that though? If it wasn't a boner pill. To do what though? If it wasn't a boner pill because you wouldn't take a boner pill. No, it's the other thing to get you excited. It wasn't a boner pill. It was to like activate your like intimacy, whatever things. I don't know. Trading at Schwab is now powered by Ameritrade.

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1:20:22You got r***ed by a fat bitch! Oh, lovely. I'm sorry, I just had to say it. I just... It was... I felt like I... Wow. I feel like I've wanted to at least say it once in my life, and this gave me the excuse. Never thought I'd hear that in my life. Well, now you did. We worked together. We worked at, funny enough, your HGP. HGP. Beating women from HGP. Men from HGP. Dude, you guys are f***ed up. I mean, I feel like we've done a lot better now. Am I controversial for never f*** my girlfriend? No. I don't think f***ing is normal, but you both need to just keep f***ing each other. It's kind of crazy.

1:21:05She said, no, you kept going. And you dropping them drugs. That's a little. Yeah, I don't. So somehow she told your family that she was you. And now your family's like, don't date the. Yeah. So she. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah. So I just found out. And so now it's just tough, tough relationship, I guess. Just working through it, I guess. Hey, baby. Stop. I mean, yeah. I'd say we've done very well in not doing that. So thank you. Okay. Big steps. We'll put that as$2 ,000 for the grandpa. Okay. Great circle round. Okay. So Department of Education. Okay, so that's why a lot of these are going to stack up.

1:21:47The multiple. Yeah, I think it's like$42 ,000. Glad to hear you guys are in couples therapy now, by the way. Yes. Very glad to hear that because, oh my, yeah, you should be. He doesn't think he should be. So wait, actually, I do want to go back to the for a second if I may. Great. Okay. If you were not attracted to her, why were you f***ing her? No, that wasn't the thing. Well, he kept going when you said no. It wasn't sexual. It was we were play fighting and he would like get too aggressive. Why do you guys just play fighting? Because I like to.

1:22:22And he used. No offense. Going up again. That's a game you're not going to win. Actually, he does. He does? Oh, you just got to get it like allow gravity to work. No, he's actually a lot stronger than he looks. No. Okay.

1:22:39Whatever you think.

1:22:44I mean, I just have to be honest. Just have to be honest. This is what was sent in the producer group chat currently for your play fighting. Oh, lovely. Now, Lindsay, who wants to volunteer? My bets are on Brandon. My bets are on Mika. Oh. Mm-hmm. I know he just said. That's true. Mark is going to have to hand sanitize after that one. That was a dirty drop. That was a dirty drop. Okay. Oh, student loans. That's right. So are you on a minimum payment? Oh, okay. So I don't pay anything to my student loans because I made so little that they said that what I have to pay is zero. Okay. So$38 ,157 for IT.

1:23:33Student loans? Yeah. Really? Yeah. That's a lot less than it should be. Okay, then there's some you didn't send us. There should be like nine, I think. Nine more? No, nine total. Nine what? Student loans. Wow. Student loan, like, lines from whatever it is, Credit Karma or whatever. It was from your credit report that you sent. Yeah, then that's everything. We added it up to 38. No, I thought it was like 30. Unless there's more if you didn't send the screenshots. I thought it was 42 or 45. I mean, I can pull it up. Okay, well, it's not the biggest difference in the world. You were making it sound like you thought it was double.

1:24:03No, no, no, no. No, no, no, it's not. Well, the Apple card looks like it's paid off every month. Try. Whose Apple card is it? Mine. I'm usually pretty good about paying off. So he tries. You don't try. Why don't you say you try? I don't have a credit card. You don't vac you. Well, I have one credit card. Discord, Nitro, Pet Care, Uber Trip, and a Patreon membership. Rocket Morton, we own a house. I do, yes. Well, congratulations. Thank you, thank you. Doesn't mean you're not abusive, but you do own a house. It should be more than 30 whatever. Oh, yeah. It's$60 ,000. So student loans. Yeah. I don't know.

1:24:38I think screenshots may have been wrong. It's on 60 ,000 student loans. $15 ,500 of it is my car total. So whatever 60 minus whatever that is. So maybe. Okay, 45. There we go. So I was right. About 45. Okay. Okay. Very good. House. Well done. 7 % interest. Not the biggest fan of it. It was the time. I get it. You didn't need to buy a house at the time. Okay, you must be on one of the extensive exurbs of Austin, but we won't mention which one because no way you're getting a house in Austin for this price. But$218 ,483.71. Trust me, everyone would live in Austin if that's what it costs. That's a lot less than I thought it was.

1:25:20It's because I make extra payments. Oh. Extra payments to your mortgage, to your credit card, or your... I guess so. No, you're... That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life. $2 ,286 ,051 minimum. Why? Why would you do that? I don't see extra paid here, but why would you do that? I just want that balance down as fast as possible. Why? It's a mortgage. I want to refinance for a lower interest rate. Well, that part's fine, but wait until interest rates are lower then you can do that. Take the appreciation of the house. Exactly, so the more I pay off... Not necessarily, though. Yes, if the house doesn't gain any value.

1:25:58Just ride the gain of the house. I agree with the refinance. at some point. Oh, I did some other. I don't know. Inflation isn't great right now. War f***ed that up, but... Okay. So that's our debt. Ah, that's the end of my car. We have a Mazda. Yes. And an 8.14 % interest rate. Yeah, that's pretty bad. What the f*** are you doing, man? That's actually the lowest I could get for the time that I needed a car. Lowest you could get, yeah. Well, I did try to co-sign with my aunt who has like excellent, excellent credit. Their tier A credit. Well, good thing she didn't. it literally would drop at$20 a month yeah and also you'd f*** her because you're not the you're the least trust the person I can imagine to co-sign with she co-signed on my first car where I was way $15 ,865.80 at an 8.14 % interest rate your minimum is $322.63 yes okay what do you think it's worth um probably like $25 or so $20 but you have an equity position in the car I do I'm not selling my car.

1:27:02You don't necessarily need to because it's relatively close to that 10. But actually, maybe you should because you don't have a job. But then actually, you want to qualify for a loan to get a$10 ,000 car. So you're right. You shouldn't now. But it should be something you consider in the future. No, that's going to be my car that I have and I have kids and stuff. Why? Because it's a really damn good car. It's fine. No, it's a great car. It's okay. It is the highest edition for the year that it is. It's a great car. It's okay. It's a car. And? Other cars that all of a sudden kill babies. I didn't say that.

1:27:36What is this obsession? Listen, it's not the worst, but you need to have a job to have this. I want you to have this if you have a job, but you told Colton you're not trying to get a job. You applied to nine jobs and you're trying to be a trad wife. Fuck you. This is not in the budget. I have applied to more jobs than that. And you guys fight over. Oh, listen. And maybe if you paid it off, but you guys fight over paying it off. And you should. At a 9 % interest rate, you should. I was, I'm told by the person who helps with my finances in my life. And who's that? My aunt. Your aunt. She said don't pay off a 9 % interest rate car.

1:28:06Yeah, because you want to have. Okay, then she is a. Like you want to have more years of credit so that it. Guys, you already own a house. It doesn't matter. He owns a house. I am not honest. But you are trying to get married. So it doesn't matter anyway. The only thing you're trying to get your credit better for is a house. You're not getting a new house together, are we? Is that in the plan? It doesn't matter. Pay off the car. You're losing 9 % to it yearly.

1:28:34All right. Well, once I have a job, then I guess I'll start making double payments. Yeah, that'll never happen. So what are we even talking about? I agree with him. You should pay that off. Your aunt's a dumbass. She thinks credit is everything in the world. You'll have okay credit. Okay, who's Capital One checking? Oh, guys, all I eat every day is three to four meatballs in my ranch. Okay, so Caleb comes and says, well, no, no, no, you can eat healthy. But hey, if I ate a few slices of cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory, that would be my entire caloric amount for the day. Then she says, well, good thing I don't do that.

1:29:17Unfortunately, actually, yes, she does. first thing on here is Cheesecake Factory. Huh, fat bitch. Hat Creek Burger, Audible. Can't get up to go pick up the book, can we? I'm sorry. Actually, I have over 600 books. Actually, no, I'm not because then he went to Krispy Kreme. So I'm not that sorry. Come on, it's like the worst calories you could ever eat. Delicious. Horrible. You can't tell me you're dieting and have Krispy Kreme. Hat Creek Burger, Cheesecake Factory within two days of each other. Cheesecake was for my family. It doesn't matter. You can't tell me. That's not me eating it. Okay. You didn't have a bite.

1:29:53No. Okay. Well, you went to Krispy Kreme$20. That was for our family. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Everything's not me. Shut up. Hat Creek Burger. I mean, I did not have a Krispy Kreme. Land Brand. Shut up. Torred. Nuevo Mexico. Taquera. Taquera. How do you say it? You're Mexican. Taqueria. Taqueria. Nuevo Mexicano. Mexico. She's f***ing Illinois though. You went in, you got some bullshit. Lane Bryant. Snapchat, you freak. Oh. Store, Slim Chickens. No. No. Einstein Pros. It's like f***ing just sugar in a cup. Bullshit. Bullshit. Cash App. Sushi. Petco. Lowe's. Yeah. Mighty Fine Burger that is so unhealthy.

1:30:44That is so unhealthy. The Mighty Fine's me. Yeah. You're going to eat the total$50. Oh, no. If it's$50, that's both of us. But if it's any mighty fine at$20, that's just me. Uh-huh. You're not going to have any$20. And it's good. That was before I stopped getting it. But it ain't the f***ing thing. Dutch Bros, sugar in a cup. Slim chickens. Again, Mardell. Dutch Bros, I get zero sugar stuff. You get what? The zero sugar things. And the protein milk stuff that they add. You know the protein shit is never low calories. You get protein. You're the average fat person that thinks if they get something protein, it immediately makes it healthy.

1:31:24Protein is not low calorie. Yeah, I'm realizing that now. Oh, you're figuring it out in the middle of this episode. End of this episode. Oh, no. So USA, 2000, you started with$27, dude. Southwest, Sonic. I have to ask the question. What? Sonic wasn't me on that. No, Southwest. Dad. He went to see his dad. Do you fly? Yeah.

1:31:50One. Really? Yeah. Okay. Had to ask. Southwest is not flights. Sonic, Dutch Bros, Apple Cash, Tagadag Market, the Texarkin, the Taxan Cafe, Mighty Fine Burger. He's back. Siri Foods, Apple Bill, Hulu, Adobe. Listen, he doesn't pay off the card that you use, but the finances are fine. He's allowed to do this. He's allowed to. I'm not going to freak out about this, actually. He should pay off the credit card, but you need to take it from her so she doesn't use it. Apple Bell, Hulu, Adobe, Mighty Fine Burger, Southwest, Apple Bell, Crunchyroll, Apple Cash, Apple Cash, Apple Cash, Bussin' Bones, Hop Dottie, Zalinau, Animal Draft House, TurboTax.

1:32:30Dude, you're just a normal employee. Dude, why are you spending$300 on TurboTax? Well, I'm not really good with my finances. I have my dad help me and so I was getting the extra. No, you're a W-2 job. What the f*** are you doing? Well, so the the mortgage you didn't have to spend$300 yeah well I'm not very good with that then HB Nintendo okay in our SoFi savings account I'll switch to Chime by the way get$200 when you sign up for Chime at Chime.com forward slash Kayla that's where I keep my high yield money myself Korean BBQ is not healthy yes it is protein but it is very greasy protein yeah that's just a splurge $5 ,000 in savings move it to Chime but that's good because you're not bad and you're a bad person because you beat your wife.

1:33:18But besides that, well, you're right. I don't want to lie. She's not your wife. Past tense, at least. Oh. I did say beat. Okay. Not beating. Emphasis. That's all. It shows that relationships, desperate enough, can survive anything. Okay. $81 on our fidelity. I'm going to assume that one's you. Nope. All the fidelities are mine. I don't have anything like that. Well, then I'm expecting something a little juicier. There it is, 5 ,400. That's good. Okay, definitely behind for your age, unless there is more. 24 ,000, that's good. And for your income, you're getting somewhere. But unfortunately, she holds you down when we calculate the retirement score.

1:34:05I can budget your money, but I can't budget your calories, and you're just going to have to track that shit. Have you ever actually tracked your calories? From how long? On a daily basis. You put into like my fitness pal. Not for more than like a week. Do that and you'll actually learn what is the reality. Because we know for a fact, just you stopping and getting those Cokes and you just consume more than you think. Yeah. And that's just a fact. I think I consume more in like liquid than I do physical eating. It still counts. It doesn't matter. Yeah. And if you don't move much, $372.63 is your debt minimum with your payments outside of the mortgage.

1:34:40Mortgage is$2 ,286.51. Gas, electric, utilities, all that combined. How much? Gas is in car gas or is in house gas? House. I round it to about a thousand. For all utilities? Yeah. Sorry, I count groceries in there, so we'd say like 700. Okay, well your groceries are going to be higher because you're going out to eat less. But groceries, yeah, necessary food, 600 bucks, meal plan, meal prep. That's based off of H-E-B, your favorite place in the world. Gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive. How much? It's different for both of us. I know, combined. I spend$100 a month. Okay. I spend like almost$300 a month.

1:35:15What is wrong with you? $400? You don't have a job. I drive to see my family to help them out, and they pay me sometimes, and then I'm also driving to his place. But they don't compensate enough for that based on what you told me earlier. Yeah, no, they don't. Shit, you're so... I drive quite a bit. Car insurance, how much? I have to pay$200 a month. Mine's basically$100 rounded. Phone bill? Nothing for me. mine was is tell me is well starting next month it's going to be 180 for the year are you paying it for the year yes okay that's fine you just take care of that it's needed out of the TP fund TP fund anything else to survive 250 anything else you need to survive on a monthly basis you okay you do therapy what is it like it's like a it's free what yeah it's insurance it's three 30 oh it was there I have therapy and then I have psychiatry psychiatry is 30 how much a month for co-pays Oh, once a month?

1:36:10Maybe less. How much a month for co-pays? A number. 30 a month. Just put 30 a month. Is there a gym? No. A home gym. Subscriptions, I'll get 50. You have any pets? Two. Yes. What? A almost three-year-old chow laugh mix and then a almost two-year-old pit husky mix. $100 pet insurance. How much for pet food? We don't do pet insurance. Exactly. Exactly, I'm telling you to. No, we choose not to. No, you will now. When I did do pet insurance, it was$120. For one? For both of them. Okay, you're going to get good pet insurance. You have to shop to market. It's annoying. But you have to do it. Well, I don't know about that one.

1:36:52But you have to do it because you will not be able to afford. You guys clearly. You'll go into care credit debt if an emergency happens. $100 pet insurance. How much for pet food? It's about$100 a month. anything else that needs to be in this budget that I have not put in this budget can you think of anything no yeah even with the money you guys come in you're hundreds behind you need to stop being pathetic and go get a job you got a mortgage that is way too expensive for your income it's 50 % of your income that's insane that was a horribly stupid choice to make you can't budget your way out of this guys this isn't budgeted this is you need to go make more money or you need to go work a second job if she's not willing to step up which so big choices to make but that's it you guys are behind by like$500 a month?

1:37:40yeah for minimum expenses that's my expenses no wonder that credit card is not being paid off and it's only going up at USAA so this is all f*** guys go get a job, any job, I don't care $500 makes you break even make$1 ,000 and all of a sudden we're starting to talk progress says the student loans what the f*** did they grab it out of$2 ,000? The car? Well, maybe, okay. But the car and stuff, yeah, it'll take a couple years. No, no, no. It'll take like a year and a half with the car, okay? But still, grandpa, credit card, car, year and a half, done. If you make it a thousand bucks. No,$1 ,500 for that.

1:38:15But still, if you get a normal job, you can. We just got to stop being pathetic. The way out's easy because the debt's not that bad. Right now you're under because you won't apply for a job that isn't your special little perfect job. And if you stick with that, that's your choice. Join us for the Poe Show. She is going to try to get some money because she's going to call her friend and confront her that we talked about earlier in the episode that she lent money to that has not paid her back yet. So we are going to do that. And there's some more things to talk about. This dude wants to start a company.

1:38:41What the... Okay, so there's a lot to talk about in the post show. Let's get the hammered financial score first. Spending in a budget for the household, you overspend your 10 debt. No collections. Family debt, though. That's going to bring it down to a one. Emergency fund. There was savings, but for the household, it brings it down. It's going to be about a three out of 10 there. Retirement, same thing. it would have been almost like an 8 or a 9 out of 10 for you but since she's a part of it 4 out of 10 real estate what's the house worth? $240 okay it's okay interest rate's not great it's not my preferred 6 out of 10 actually for the no the mortgage is way too expensive for you 5 out of 10 it's actually a dangerous house to get into I want to bring that down but I'm not gonna Hammer financial score get yours at CalebHammer.com yours is 3 out of 10 click join join Hammer Elite best membership on YouTube 100 ,000 active members on a monthly basis for a reason.

1:39:33It's incredible. The value provided three premium shows every single day, six days a week. It's awesome. Everyone loves it. Come join us in the post show. Are you able to pay me back that money yet? Girl, you know I'm broke. Yeah, but you also know that I don't have a job right now. And like 60 bucks is 60 bucks. Like that's easily a tank of gas for me. You surround yourself with bad people. If I don't surround myself with bad people and I work to better myself, I would expect that you'd do the same. Yeah, but you also know that I don't have friends because since you don't want to go out and do stuff, I just stay home.

1:40:02I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. To celebrate the app launch, I'm offering 30 % off the annual plan in the month of June only. Plus, I have an exclusive offer just for you. But I'll only have 1 ,000 available to purchase. You'll get lifetime access to the entire Hammer Elite catalog and my Hammer for Life box packed with limited edition merch. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome.

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