Financial Audit's Most Disgusting Guest

25:37That's why I like DollarWise. Built by these people just like you, for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now, start the free trial, dollarwise.com. Link in the description below. Miles apart, the moment I pull a previous quote from you, everything you just said, you threw out of the entire conversation, man. It's nothing. It's nothing. You've lost everything. You lost all credibility in any kind of accountability or blaming it all on him. My money, I spend it. Trash. No shit. Great, so I'm proud of you. So your correction for all this is you just started an OF and FetLife, whatever the fuck that even is.

26:23And then, oh, you got your first OF subscriber. It's Fetish Lifestyle. Okay, remind me never to get that if this is what's on it. Okay, so you got your first subscriber. Congratulations. Who's it from? I don't know, some guy in another country. How do you find your account? From TikTok, actually. What are you posting on TikTok? Just basic stuff. What's the basics? Nothing to do with any of it. But you had like, link in the description below. He like sent me a message and he asked me if I made custom content. And I was like, actually. So you don't even know how much you're spending on all these apps.

26:56All this shit to get all these people to pay for you. How do you think you're going to? Okay, why do you think you're going to be successful in this? You got your first subscriber and you made$0 from the thousands you spent on it. I haven't spent thousands. You said you don't know how much you spent. Well, it's definitely not like a thousand. I don't know, man. And if you got video equipment and all that shit, that shit adds up. It's like tripods. That's video equipment. Okay, well that still counts. Like a ring light. You know? And a strap-on. Yes. Why do you think you're going to be successful in this?

27:31Because I thoroughly enjoy dominating men. Congratulations. I enjoy a lot of things. It doesn't mean I'm going to be successful in it. Why do you think you're going to be successful? Yeah, the industry is. Why do you think you're going to be successful is the question. It's about who you know. Who do you know? Well, I live in Vegas, and they have the conventions, and, you know, there's connections. You know, you can go to conventions whether or not you live there. But either way, sure, continue. Well, I'm going to try and, like, mingle and schmooze and, you know, get to know people. Oh, wow, you have no business plan.

28:06There's a BDSM community and— Everywhere, by the way. Right, well, I— LA, New York, Vegas, Austin, the four biggest in the country. I'm saying that in Vegas, where I live, there's a BDSM community and that I'm involved in. But I just started. You were not able to tell me why you think you were going to be successful. The only answer you had is I like it and I'm going to mingle. That's what everyone does in everything. You have nothing unique that is going to make you stick out. That you're able to tell me about you being successful. So, um, I like doing the mommy kink stuff. You like. That's not a reason.

28:40I'm good at it. But I'm also researching. I bought some books. Oh, she's researching. I'm listening to audiobooks. I've got equipment. I've paid for some, like, masterclasses.

28:58Okay. Can I see what's in these apps of you getting these guys? I'm also a media guy while I'm here. Can I take a look? There's a guy in Galveston I'm meeting. Here? Texas is a big girl. That's like four and a half hours away. It's three hours. Gavison, I think, is a little further. It's three hours. He's... Whatever. It's not my problem. He's coming here. Oh, he's coming here. Okay. What are you making from this? Nothing. See? Colton had that as a little note to help her out as, like, she's actually making progress. And then he just reacted when she said that as... Dude. He just gave, like, a...

29:36Why'd you just... Me? That was the reaction Colton just gave because he set that up as a way to help you against me. It's my first time doing it. So get paid. It's practice. Practice? Sex, we need sex practice? You're 37. That blows my mind. 37? Nope. I mean, yep, you look 37. You're 37. I do not look 37. You're right. You do not look your age. Okay. So why do you need practice at 37 of sex? I've never done the mommy kids thing. I haven't been feeding her sexual stuff this conversation, but I have to for a second because we have to learn, unfortunately, if she's giving this up for free. What are you guys doing?

30:20So he wants to call me mommy, and he wants to suck on my nipple and fall asleep in my lap while I pet him and call him a good baby boy and that I love him. What is complicated about that to need to practice? Because, you know, like stage fright in person. What? He's laying on you and sucking your t-shirt while you pet him and say goodnight. I don't know. That's the one thing I'm having a hard time doing is asking for the money. Well. I know, which is like the whole point. Well, yeah, you're a whore. Almost. Almost. Well, I know. You're trying to get to be. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, let me see how you're doing these in the apps.

31:00Show me. Whatever the biggest used one is. Let's see how you're doing it all. And it's Android. I don't know how to start a screen recording. so if you could for me please thank you cause you were bragging to Colton that you were talking to 50 guys at once right now yeah on multiple apps but you're a whore not yet you're not even able to ask for it though focus features in Blumhouse present obsession when I have a crush on a guy no one knows be careful I wish Nikki loved me more than anyone in the entire world who you wish for Obsession is 96 % fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. I love you so, so, so, so much.

31:41It's blood-soaked nightmare fuel. What kind of blood you put on her? You have been warned. Obsession, rated R, under 17, I made it without parent. Only in theaters May 15th, with special engagements in Dolby. You're a failed whore. The point is you're supposed to tell me. I've never met a failed whore. Thank you for giving me the first. Laugh through the pain, girl. It's not going to get you money any quicker. So he's coming today? Tomorrow. And does he come from this? Well, I mean, I've got a chastity cage for him. Teach their own, man. I usually go into it just to... Okay, what is this app? BD.

32:19BD, what is for... It's for BDSM. Okay, I don't think you connected to the Wi-Fi. Do you want to see the chastity cage I brought for him? Not particularly. I'm going to show you anyway. It's on you. Can you confirm that it's unused? Bitch, is it used or not?

32:43See, look, his little weenie goes in here. Yeah, I mean, you do got lots of men on here, man. It's surprising. You just, you don't do much, though. This might be too big for you. You're not running. You're not, like, doing much, though. Like, why are we not closing the deal? Touch it. Not until I know. Okay, so this guy being edged and shit like that, I don't know. Oh, my gosh. This is a normal dude. Doesn't it? What the f***? He's an attractive, normal dude. I know. I told you. What the f*** is he doing? I f***ing told you. What the f*** is he doing? F*** you. Well, yeah. What is he doing? Wow, there is someone for everyone, ladies and gentlemen.

33:32So this actually, I want to extra confirm for you insults. She's on the other crazy side of the f***ing intersection. She goes like this. But on the male crazy side, insult f***ing losers. This is proving that anyone can get anyone. Look, it's only been used a couple times. Oh, for f***ing sake. Bruh, I also enjoy using my mouth. I guess we'll have to test that.

34:03Let's say we go back to a hotel room. Get on my knees from you.

34:10Bro, he is typing. You're able to get hot men. I told you. Calling me ugly and a liar. This is a crazy world. I also have something for your girlfriend. You're a collector. I have something for your girlfriend. I certainly will not be giving it to her. What is it? Oh my goodness You do not know what we're into Okay this is disgusting This is disgusting Okay so if this is what you're trying to do You need to be put in your place If this is what you're trying to do and make money off of What aren't we doing here Because you've made zero dollars You're investing money into it You're whoring yourself out You're going to get paid Like what are we doing

34:57What is the game plan here Because it's not working Be accountant by day and dominate your side night. So you want to be the accountant by day? Yeah. To confirm. Okay, good. Because that will actually at least keep money coming in. Well, yeah, I'm not f***ing dumb. Could have fooled me. Come on, your accountability shit was insane. And I still feel like you'll never be able to accept accountability. If you're like this at 37, you're f***ing broken. You're never going to get anywhere. So you live on your own now. How long have you lived on your own? I don't live on my own. I live with my best friend and her husband.

35:31Oh my goodness. Pathetic. Okay. Rent free. Extra pathetic then. So let's figure this out. So we know what came in. It was 4 ,108, which is less than you said. But you know, every month's a little different. Depends how many Fridays there are. Regardless, what did you spend that month that you made 4 ,100 last month while you lived rent free? Groceries. Money. Number. How much did you spend? What was your outflow? All of it. Okay, all of it. I use formulas. Sure, give me a dollar amount, you dumbass. Sure, okay. So,$4 ,100. Very good. $6 ,626. So, you live rent-free. That's not him. That's not his fault.

36:12You don't have accountability. You're a degenerate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're a bad person. You try to put all the blame on him, yet you can't do anything to save your own life. This isn't going to pay off your debt. You make more money than you're going to ramp that up to 8 ,000 spent. It's pathetic. You're pathetic. You think yourself is domi mommy? No. You're submissive to the world. You're pathetic. You're nothing. You're nothing. To society, you are the bottom. You are a taker. Like 10 years ago, I would have been middle class. Now you would be middle class. You have an incredible income and you pay zero for the roof over your head.

36:56You're a failure. You're pathetic. I participate in the utility bills. You're pathetic. And for the groceries. You're pathetic. Pathetic. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. You blame everything on him. Then you get just a few little bills, yet you spend$2 ,000 more than you make. You're pathetic. I don't have a few little bills. A few little, in terms of actually like the roof over your head. Yes. So you are pathetic. I'm giving myself the life that eventually I will be able to afford. Make that make sense, please. I'm living the life that I eventually will be able to afford. How are you going to afford it?

37:29The friend you're living with, her husband wants you out in June. That's a couple months from now. How are you going to afford that? You got to afford that now. You can't even afford living for free right now. So how are you affording that in the future? Make that make sense for me, please. Well, I mean, so my sister is going to help me manage my online stuff. She's sad, pathetic. Next time someone like her comes to you and she's like, I'm hot. And it's all my ex's fault and all this stuff. Do not listen to them Do not listen to them Fucking punch them in the face She's a pathetic moron She's gonna be my media marketer And she's gonna be helping me post content On OnlyFans What the fuck is wrong with you?

38:08What is wrong? Post your own shit you loser I don't have time What? You have nothing but time No I don't I also run a guild For the renaissance festival Do you get paid for this? No that's all volunteer work Then stop It's a hobby I don't care It brings me joy. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit about your opinion. Then why are you on the show where it's only me giving my opinion, moron? Well, I mean, I'm trying to start from scratch. Okay, starting from scratch. I'm going to get you there. Keep all the money and post it yourself. Well, I'm not paying my sister. What, she's going to do it for free?

38:40Yeah. For everything? Yeah. And you're never going to learn the skills yourself? So she's going to see all that good stuff. Well, she's my sister. Sisters look at each other's clits? I mean, if I have an ingrown hair. She helps me. Okay, I'm getting like a huh from Lindsay. So, yeah, okay, I'll accept it. Oh, she says it's weird. Never mind. Okay, yeah, it's weird. I don't know. We do have a very unique relationship. Yeah, incest. How much time is being spent on this biking stuff? It's not. A lot. A lot. Because I also teach sewing classes. Bro, you just figured out your shit. Do you want hobbies or do you want career?

39:21I mean, sex work itself. Can I have both? No, not really. When you're not making enough, you are making enough. You're just spending way more. But you're saying you're trying to prepare for this lifestyle you're going to live. I'm still confused. How are you going to survive in June? Well, we decided I'm not moving out in June because apartment prices go up in summer. Who's we? Because I don't think the husband agrees. Well. He wants you out in June. He wants you out in June. His wife convinced him that June is not a good idea. Okay, fine. July, what are you going to do? September, what are you going to do?

39:52You're pathetic. What am I going to do? You're a f***ing leech. I can. Apartment prices go up. No shit, but you make literally good money. I'm going to get an apartment with my sister who doesn't have a job. Oh my gosh. You're never going to. You're never going to. You think you're a strong, independent woman? No, you're a f***ing leech. Pathetic. Broken individual. Well, I took care of my mom since I was 19. I don't give a f***. So many people have to take care of their siblings, kids, parents. Do you know how hard it is to pay for utility bills and be the only person doing it with making$10.30 an hour?

40:28And she didn't have health insurance, and I had to pay for all of her doctor's appointments. That part, I do not know. I can't relate to that one. I can relate to all the other ones. And we were in the middle of getting her approved for Social Security disability. How old is she? She's 72. Okay. Okay, well, she already has Medicare.

40:47She didn't have Medicare at the time. What? What are you talking about? SSDI. Yes, I know that. Yeah, you have to get approved. But she's on the age for Medicare. She wasn't at the time. How? She was 64. Which is pretty much there. What is it, 66? Okay, so like a couple years? Either way, she could have gone on it earlier anyway. No, you have to be approved. You have to have a disability. What does she do? She's got fibromyalgia. And she wasn't? You didn't approve her? No, you have to have all this paper trail with doctor's appointments. and have a pain history. Okay, so two years of that, and this was over a decade ago.

41:25So what's the excuse for the last 10 years? That I lived with a drunk of a boyfriend. Okay, so again, none of it is your fault. Like you can make a victim thing from about 10, 15 years ago. Like, yes, that sucks. Like a emotionally vampire thing. That sucks, that sucks. Okay, but what about you and your life and everything you're doing literally right now, spending more money than you make? Again, you are literally trying to play victim from something that happened. I'm having a great time though. You're having fun. That doesn't matter. I'm having so much fun. Okay, then what are you trying to do?

41:51Why are you here? You go f*** yourself then. I'm not going to talk to someone that doesn't actually want to improve their life. I do. I do want to financially improve my life. But you're having so much fun. That's all you care about. Well, I haven't had joy in like six years actually. Okay. Have joy and also spend less than you make. You have no overhead, barely. Shut the f*** up. That's funny. Yeah, I gotta laugh. You don't. You actually just have to spend less than you make. I know it takes a lot to store you, but you're getting that storage for free right now.

42:31I don't know. You create a hurricane every time you move your arm. Things are flying around. You don't like my dress? Absolutely not. I'm sure they like my dress. No. But you do get the couple freaks on there. You have proved it with your phone, and that honestly blows my mind. So what are we trying to do? So you're going to have to pay for your sister. You want to replace that again? You want to replace your mom's situation? You're going to have to pay for your sister in a few months. She has no job. You want to support another deadbeat? You want to go deadbeat to deadbeat to deadbeat? Dang, when you say it like that.

43:06Well, yeah. No, I love my sister. She's fucking great. I didn't say you don't love her. She's going to support me. She's going to be doing free work. She's going to be doing free work as my marketing manager. No, you make nothing off this. You have one subscriber. This is not the marketing manager. You're just posting videos. Just post a video, schedule a sprout, dude. Like, it's hard, man. No, it's not. It's literally not. It's so hard. It's literally the easiest thing you could ever do. I'm struggling so many apps. Then you need to stop. Then you cannot handle it. I'm having so much fun. Then choose it over the Renaissance shit and sewing.

43:36You have to make choices now. No, that's prior commitment. That involves other people. Then stop this. You only have so much time. Your sister does nothing. That is not going to pay the bills when you guys are together. Eventually it could. No, eventually it could. Heavy on the could. Heavy on the could. You know what? Eventually it will. That's not how this works. Eventually it will. I'm manifesting my destiny. That's not how this works. It's the actual work, and you don't even know what it takes to get there. You're just hoping your sister will do it for you. And she's a loser. She's a loser.

44:07She's not going to bring any skills to it. Well, she's taking care of our mom right now. That's why she doesn't have a job? Well, she can't get a job. Why? She's going to school. For? Marketing. Why doesn't she have a job? I don't know. Your sister's a loser. Okay, good. Oh my goodness, I swear. We ended up to the... I have a hypothesis. Generational trauma, not generational wealth. Shut the fuck up. I have a hypothesis, you say no, then you explain it, and then it confirms my hypothesis. Every time. Every time in this conversation so far. I don't agree. Okay. Okay. Wonderful. That doesn't change reality.

44:41I don't understand. That means nothing. Okay. Listen, what do you think your Hammer financial score is? What? When you moved out, you cashed out your entire Roth IRA? Buddy, you're already approaching 40. You're onk. You're onk. You cashed out your Roth IRA. Why? You moved into a place that doesn't have any overhead. Why did you cash out your Roth IRA? Even with all this debt now. Okay, so the original plan. The original plan was I was going to move it into my new 401k at my job. What? Your Roth IRA into your 401k? Yeah. I was going to take all the money. It wasn't making any money. That's just because you didn't choose an investment vehicle probably.

45:22Oh, my gosh. Oh, you suck. Okay, continue. I don't really know anything about investments. It doesn't matter. That's not even a lack of knowledge. So, and then my boyfriend at the time convinced me to use some of that money to fix up the truck that I had. So I spent probably a total of$8 ,000 last year fixing up that truck. What's the current status of this truck? Oh, my sister borrowed it for a couple weeks, and then she got into a car accident. Did you have gap insurance? It's a 1998 Pathfinder. What did you have on it, if anything? Yeah, there's car insurance. Okay, did you get anything? I'm in the middle of getting that worked out.

46:11When was it? Halloween. You're in the middle of getting it worked out still? Yeah. Yeah, insurance is such a scam. What's the current status? So I submitted the quote that I got from the body shop and the mechanic to the other people's insurance. She got into a fender bender in the front and the back. Is it drivable? Yeah. What's the issue then? The back hatch doesn't open. Okay, what's the issue? The headlights are pushing into the radiator. Okay, there you go. Yeah, that makes... That's more. Okay, so... Well, where'd the other five go? Of the Roth IRA that you pulled out? Taxes, fees, bullshit like that, probably?

46:55I didn't pay taxes on it. No, I don't think that's possible. I think that's automatic. I think the... I think it holds it for you. What? No. If I told... Have you filed this year yet? No. Have you filed an extension? No. You just skipped the filing date, which was yesterday. Yeah. I'll just do it next year. No. You owe money to the government. Listen, sometimes, you know, when the government owes people money, they don't freak out when you don't file on time. But when you owe the government money, they're not very happy. You probably owe the government money. What's pulling out? What's pulling out from that?

47:36Roth IRA. Yeah, I'll deal with it later. Do you know how much you owe? No idea. You haven't even gone through TurboTax without filing just to see what you do? No. So what's the plan? Just kick the can down the road? That's it? That's the entire strategy? Like, hope that I have enough money by next year filing? Hope. If you actually start making your money from the show, you're going to have to do quarterly estimated payments as a contractor, as an independent business. Yeah, 1099 stuff. Yes, and you're going to have to pay... all the taxes. There's no employer to take care of your portion of the payroll taxes.

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48:53So you can also get your body in shape too. Don't wait until your first vacation to try to get your finances together. Go to dollarwise.com or click that link in the description below. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to$200 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought?

49:29That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Yeah, I'm an accountant. I know that much. Uh-huh. You know that much, but you didn't file your own taxes. You don't have to file every year. What? You can backfile. Okay, are you going to backfile? Yeah, next year. Okay, with a penalty? Yeah. From what you already owe? That's my plan. Dude, you are so f***ed, man. Okay, and you think selling your farts is what's going to make up for this? That sounds really great. You are not Amranth. I don't know who that is. The one who basically invented selling farts. Okay.

50:08You don't even study the industry you're trying to do. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10, zero being the worst, 10 being the best? Probably like a three. You want your hammered financial score? Get it for free at CalebHammer.com. Take the assessment, see where you stand in the world of money. It is free. It just takes a few minutes and you get your own personalized score. So link below. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, joining the tens of thousands of other people in this community who are active dollar wise budget users. Listen, they use it for a reason.

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51:46Learn more at americanexpress.com slash business dash platinum. I hate cooking, so we'll see. Yes, I know that. I will see lots of going out to eat in here. I know for a fact. There's no way you didn't spend that much money and you didn't go out to eat a lot. $500. Miscellaneous bullshit is a crazy one. $1 ,500. It's a what? Miscellaneous bullshit. It's just anything else that you just do not need. It doesn't benefit life at all other than dopamine hits. Yeah. Dopamine hits. So I recently stopped drinking caffeine because I found out that... No, you're literally drinking caffeine right over there.

52:25Well, I mean like coffee. That's... I was drinking like three cups of coffee a day. You are drinking caffeine. It doesn't matter the source. Does it have caffeine in it? Yes. It doesn't have sugar in it. Two of those is equivalent to about an eight ounce cup of coffee. You think sugar is caffeine? Do you think sugar is caffeine? No, I know sugar isn't caffeine. You just said... But are you sure there's caffeine in this? There's no sugar. You're... Okay, so you didn't stop drinking caffeine, but what was your point? Well, if I drink less caffeine, then my antidepressants work better. Okay. What does that have to do with what?

53:06Dopamine hits. Your behavior certainly hasn't changed. Having no routine, for sure. No self-discipline. That's why I'm going into... Girl, you already got enough, trust me. That isn't doing anything. It was already there. You're fine. Buddy, you're going to be dead before this card payment is paid off. The card payment? Yeah, this card payment. Card. Southwest Rapid Rewards. $13 ,142.08. Minimum monthly payment,$423. You're morbidly obese, almost at 40. You're not going to live to the 24 years this is going to take to pay off. You're never going to get to the other side of it. your life expectancy range is usually within the next decade or so.

53:54I'm actually really healthy. No. No. I've done all of my blood work recently and it all came back normal. Okay. And I'm very healthy. Okay, will you stand on a scale right now? You, no. Then you can't tell me you're healthy. My blood work says otherwise. Okay, will you do your blood pressure right now? My blood pressure? Yeah. Sure. Okay. Can we have it? Let's see. I mean, maybe you are. Maybe you've gotten lucky right now because obesity itself isn't the health concern, but it is the leading cause for many of the things that cause death. Heart disease, high blood pressure, heart attacks, diabetes, all that good stuff.

54:34Right, but I'm not getting on that stupid weight loss shot. Okay, you don't have to just eat less calories than you make. I don't know. I do eat less calories. No, you don't. But I sit all day. No, it doesn't matter. Other than your baseline. If you consume less calories than your baseline, you will not gain weight. You will lose weight. You can't tell me that. Well, you have to count calories. Yes. That a pathetic moron. Listen, maybe you aren't healthy. I don't know. But it's just like, here's the thing. While that's going. It's not that I really give a shit about your weight. We're not, I don't want to.

55:14It's not even a thing. Like, that's not what matters. People always think I'm just digging into the way to dig into the way. One, again, you will not live by the end of this car being paid off. But two, more importantly, what is the point, and I don't bring this enough in the episodes, what is the point of the immense sacrifice that is required from after this conversation if you don't get to live to enjoy the benefits of the other side of the immense, immense work? So there's that part of the obesity conversation. There's two, the health is expensive. It's going to be, you have less energy to make more money.

55:48There is less, it is more health complications that are expensive. Okay, no, you're about 150 over 90. What is that what it was? 144 over 87. Okay, so 144 over 87. So no, but it's not an emergency, but it's not necessarily defined as healthy. I might be able to use the excuse that this is a stressful conversation and that is true but you are hypertension stage 1 pre-systolic not diastolic okay okay okay but you told me you're healthy yeah your blood pressure is not well that's because I'm here but also you are morbidly obese not morbidly obese prove it Prove it? Yes. How the f*** am I supposed to prove that?

56:44You step on the scale. I'm 260. Step on the scale then. Okay, cool. She consented. Mark? Mark? The holder of the scale. Listen, again, I do not give a s*** if you are specifically. But if you're going to come on here and give me... I don't understand how this has anything to do with that. I just answered that twice. Did you not listen? I give you two very critical points. One, what is the point of you sacrificing the immense amount of very uncomfortable sacrifice that is required from this conversation if you're not going to live long enough to actually enjoy those sacrifices? And two, being morbidly obese is health complications, which is expensive, which is debt, which is one of the leading causes for bankruptcy in this country, and less energy to do work.

57:31So many of your life goals, many of the things that are required are actually impactful in this conversation. So it's not just making fun of you for your weight, even though I'll do that on its own. But it's not just that. But also, more than anything, I don't let lies pass on this show. And if you sit there and you tell me, I am healthy, I will not allow that.

57:57So would I have asked the blood pressure or weight if she didn't say she was healthy? No. But I'm not going to allow people to bullshit me on this show. Also, it's Caleb Spring, and also it's whatever the f***. We can do whatever the f*** we want on this show. It's a fun show. It's a good show. And also, she consented to it, and it's not against her no-no list. Her thing's on her no-no list. I will not tell you what's on her no-no list, as she said before, but we're not doing them because I respect all boundaries. I weigh less than that. Good. What's your weight? I'm 43. 3. You. No, that's good.

58:32I don't want you to be unhealthy. How tall are you? 5 '6". So that's the point. And because people will cry victim for you a lot on the show, was this on your no-no list before? No. So your BMI is 39.2. What is it? 39.2? Ooh, okay. So you are morbidly obese. Oh, no! You are one pound away from morbidly obese. your obesity class two you're not overweight you're not obese you're obesity class two but you're almost obesity class three which would be morbidly overweight one pound so take a sip and you'll get there okay so what's going on with this card? because again you will not live was the reason this conversation started to the end of this 23 years statistically maybe you'll beat the odds but even still what's going on with this card?

59:26so I got that card when it took a month for me to find a job the first time I got fired? Oh, here she goes with the whole victim shit. No, what's going on with it? You literally spent more money than you put on it with the interest accruing, making the balance go up. This isn't about you losing a job in COVID six years ago. What is going on with this card now? Oh my gosh. Why do people keep positioning yourself as victims? I use it for plane flights and for cashback stuff. And, you know, whenever I need to get - Shield storage,$130 a month. Yeah, I have a storage unit. Get rid of your shit. Who cares?

1:00:01I just moved out of my ex's place. All of my stuff is in there. And just get rid of shit. Sell it all. It doesn't matter. It's stuff. It's stuff. It doesn't matter. You're putting it on an interest accruing card that is going up in balance. Dude, almost$4 ,000 of interest. Just last year. Get Kuto Talon. It's an app. Get Kuto Talon. What? You can read it. It's the second line item. And then you also were paying for TikTok. What the? And then two Starbucks orders. So what do you get for Starbucks at$30? $30 a pop. But either way. Oh, that's a reload. Reload what? My Starbucks gift card. Okay, but the second line item on there.

1:00:48Some kind of app it says. I have no idea. Oh my. Oh my. You are broken. Thousands in interest, obviously fees, but I think this is annual fees. insane, insane. That alone is insane. That balance is crazy. I need to be clear. I need to be clear because I know I yell at everything. That is insane. A balance of$13 ,000 is insane that you're only going up. And no, it's not because you were laid off six years ago for six months. No accountability freak. So Quicksilver, what's going on with this? Well, when I got laid off six years and took care of my mom 14 years ago. Quicksilver, I use it for, like, gas and fixing up my car, like, oil changes.

1:01:31Which, by the way, on the accountability thing, you blamed it on your boyfriend talking you into doing it. You know you had the choice to say no. You're past that magical, what is it, 26-year-old frontal cortex for every woman age. You're finally an adult. You can actually make informed decisions for the first time in your life. Like, you still could have said no. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Okay, you never said abusive. It's an emotionally abusive relationship. Okay, well, now it's immediate. Okay, you went from abusive to emotionally abusive. It is different, but it is still bad, to be clear.

1:02:05But also, you never said that in this conversation. You said he was a drunk and a failure and didn't take care of you. That is different than emotionally abusive, which also, unfortunately, I do not. if you said that at the beginning, I would have believed you. Unfortunately, I have to let you know why I don't believe you. Because one, an hour in, and we've talked about him so many times, you have not brought that up once. That wasn't on a no-no list either. Two, neither is it in my notes.

1:02:36Three, every single time you get called out on something, you try to find an excuse of why it's not your fault. So now after calling you out for an hour, you pull that out of your ass for the first time. You've made it impossible. I just assume you knew what the f*** that meant. If he's a drunk and he's a piece of shit. You said he was a piece of shit by not taking care of you. Yeah, by not being a good partner. Not taking care of me. Not being a good partner can mean a lot of things. Not assisting me when I'm down and out and I need help. That's different than emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is constantly getting drunk and yelling at me and punching holes in the walls.

1:03:10Yes, that's different. You didn't say that. I'm not up until 1 a.m. on a Wednesday to have his argument made. You didn't say that. Well, I'm saying it now. But also, you're the girl who has cried wolf, and I'm so sorry. I want to believe you. I don't really give a shit about your opinion. Call him. Clearly you do. Clearly you do because you're on this show. Maybe I will on the post show. We'll see. But I don't know. When you do, you're on the show, care, okay? And it just matters. You don't have to care if I think it, but you should care why I think it. Because others might end up thinking it in life when you're the girl who cries wolf.

1:03:46You don't want to be that person. It makes it impossible to believe anything you say. That's not good. You don't want to be in that position. Okay? So if that is actually a real thing that happened, I am horribly sorry. And I'm just going to believe it did. But I'm having a very hard time believing. I don't really care. I know. I know. I know. Yes, that's your cope. That's what you say. Obviously, you do. but yes, that's an easy cope to say when you hear something you don't like. $8 ,660.29 on your Quicksilver One card. Well, unfortunately, it is past due! Why possibly is it past due? So I was making weekly payments.

1:04:28Why? Okay, okay. And I switched it to automatic payments. Okay. So what it is is I have it set up in my bank account that my bank account sends them weekly checks in the mail. And then I stopped that and then I forgot to set it to automatic pay. And I didn't know that it's, I had to wait a month. I had to like manually pay it for one month. What? If you set up auto pay, it would pay. Right. But I have to like manually pay it after I stopped paying with the, through my checking account. okay okay sure maybe it's a little hard to fully believe that but of course fees and interest okay let's see if that actually lines up with reality okay it didn't you had three late fees last year so no it wasn't a one month thing clocked it die in Minecraft

1:05:36I was just like, dude, you can't tell me that. I mean, you've had multiple late fees. It wasn't one month because you f***ed it all up. Is it on that one? I think it's just on that one. Just on this one, silly goose, yes. Okay. Oh, no, the excuses have stopped. I forget about that credit card. There it is. There's the reality, okay? I forget about that credit card all the time. She just doesn't do it because she's not responsible. She doesn't budget. Use DollarWise. Stop f***ing. I'm so done. No, I don't budget. My friends have tried to get me on budgets for years. Well, allow this to be your chance.

1:06:06Take our budgeting class as well. That comes in the Master Your Money program. You get it all for free for the rest of your life. CalebHemmer.com. I'll try it out. Please do. I mean, literally. What? I think like 30 ,000 people have taken our courses. I mean, it's not like I'm not interested in trying to find a method that'll work for me. And then I'll actually stick to a plan and stick to a routine. I mean, that's what I want. I want to get a handle. It's for critical things like Cinemark and SAG to pay. Oh, shit. I forgot about Cinemark. You forgot about Cinemark. So my ex and I went to movies all the time.

1:06:42That's a good date activity. I started paying for Cinemark because it gives you free movie tickets. So that's accruing on this card that is basically maxed out that you are not ever paying on time. F*** my entire life. What are you doing? I just don't understand why you don't care. It seems like you don't care. There's so many like automatic payment things that I forgot to cancel. Just close the card and then nothing will happen. So he has my Netflix account, my Hulu account, my Crunchyroll account, my HBO Max account, Amazon Prime. You just cancel the card. You can't have access to it anyway.

1:07:19Can I cancel the card? You can close it, yes. I didn't know you could do that. Close it so you can't charge on it. And then these things will just stop charging. but you can't be trusted to have debt. You can't. You don't have the behavior for it. You're not a credit card person. Yeah, no. Well, there you go. I've never had, I didn't have credit cards until I was like 23. Well, realize it then. Close them. Take away the weapons that are harming you. I did. I wanted to bring all my credit cards on the show so I could cut them up in front of you. Okay, well, I don't even need that. Just close them because you can just order another one if you cut them up.

1:07:50So, yeah, it's a good visual moment, I guess. The symbolism. Sure. Okay, USAA, what's going on with this? That's a new card. New? Why? So you couldn't manage the other one, so you opened another one? It has basically the same balance as the last one. It's a new card? $8 ,140.96. What's going on? $148 minimum monthly payment. What's going on?

1:08:19Hello? I don't know. Look at what's on there. I'm trying to have you diagnosed before I look so I can see if you have any reasonable understanding of what's happening in your life. That's why I ask that for every single guest. What is going on in this card, asshole? Buying things. Oh, you're pathetic. One, you're over the credit limit. Automatic payment. One, you're over the credit limit, so I was hoping you knew that, but of course you don't. Failure. Over by$140.96. Minimum monthly payment of$148. Takes basically 30 years to pay off. You will not be with us. I hope you are. Maybe it'll be the odds.

1:08:58Do you think I'm going to live to be 70? No. How many morbidly obese people do you see at 70? All the people where my mom lives. Are morbidly obese? Mostly, yeah. At 70? Uh-huh. They're the lucky ones that made it. I don't know. They look a little rough. Well, they shouldn't be at 70. Yeah, that's kind of the point, right? I want you to. I want you. I want to. But that's the thing. With your fast food and miscellaneous bullshit spending on here. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm here. There it is. Ding, ding, ding. With the fast food spending and with the miscellaneous bullshit spending you do, the thing is not only would a budget help you financially, it would help you health-wise.

1:09:39You'd get more healthy, live longer, have higher energy, lower medical costs, lower blood pressure. Hereditarily, I do have high cholesterol. That's probably not good while also being morbidly obese. Not morbidly obese. Okay, you took a couple more steps. I'm pretty sure you are now. You're still class two obese. You want to be considered class two of any kind of obesity? I've never even heard of that since today. You, accountability. I mean, I never said I was not like fat. I mean, I know I'm fat. But I'm okay with it. Bro! I think you were like every single month last year on this card. What was the point?

1:10:22The moment you opened it, you never paid a card payment on time. You transferred to this card, it looks like, is what I'm being told. Oh, and then you used it for everything because the loss you'd never heard. Great. Okay. But even then, you still didn't ever pay your minimum monthly payment. Ever. Ever. Ever? I thought I set it up. Autopay. Well, you have to set it up with Autopay. Maybe. It's through my checking account. There's a chance you did, but you didn't have enough money in your checking account to actually make that automatic payment. That happens, yeah. Well, buddy, you've had$301 of fees last year.

1:11:00Usually a late fee is$40. Do the math. I mean, it's crazy. It's just above the credit limit. That's why. All these fees are just making it go above. That's why I went$140 over, plus the interest. Hundreds of dollars of interest,$100 of fees, 25.65 % interest. It's 25 %? Well, no, no, no. That is really bad. but most credit cards are near like 30 that like people like you would have. Okay. Well, look, listen, listen, Linda, the Amazon credit card. What is that a reference to? Starbucks is bullsh** and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and invest in the rest.

1:11:38So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamersubs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10 % off your order at Gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. Stop bleeding out money making minimum payments across multiple high interest accounts. Most Americans are spending hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars that could be going toward actually paying down debt instead of lining some bank's pockets.

1:12:24And look, if you're sitting on high interest credit card debt, a car loan at 18%, or, oh my goodness, a payday loan charging you triple digit interest rates, you need to hear this. If you've already cut up the cards and built better financial habits, but you're still drowning in interest payments, barely making progress, this is for you. I have opened my very own marketplace, a personal loan marketplace that lets you get personalized offers from multiple lenders in one place. You can see if you pre-qualify in minutes and it won't impact your credit score. But here's the deal. This isn't a magic bullet.

1:13:00If you refinance your debt but keep swiping, you're just making the problem worse. You still need to fix the behavior that screwed you in the first place. But if you're serious about getting out of debt faster, you could potentially lower your monthly payment by securing a single payment at a much better rate. Check out the link in the description below to see your personalized offers or go to calebhammer.com and remember, you still got to do the work. Oh, you're like an old boomer millennial. Okay, continue. You. I mean, it's true. If you're pulling boomer memes. We are young. I made sure that the Amazon credit card that I have, I know that one is 29 % and I and made sure that the credit limit, they don't exceed$300.

1:13:47That I can't spend more than$300 on that credit card.

1:13:54Gold star. Look, it's Amazon. Yeah? I got it all the way up to like$1 ,400, and I didn't notice it. It doesn't matter. All these balances we looked at are above eight. And then I paid it down, and then I called them. This was like... Okay, Wells Fargo. You couldn't get a statement for us. Oh, that one's the brand, brand new one. I haven't even set it up. That one, it was my tire popped when I drove to LA. Ready to soundtrack your summer? With Red Bull Summer All Day Play, you choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end DJ, a road dog, or a trail mixer?

1:14:38Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit redbull.com slash bright summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. And I didn't have the money or the credit balance to get new tires. Okay, that doesn't add up to$4 ,236 though. Those things that you just mentioned. That's the one that I lost my debit card, so I used that. So if I actually had this statement, it'd be all bullshit. Yeah, like groceries, movies, paying for my sister's stuff. For your sister's stuff? Oh, my goodness. We're going to need to call her and the ex.

1:15:21Oh, f***. Oh, f***. Just got her, I paid for her haircut last weekend. And I took her out to lunch. Okay, call your sister right now. I'm done. Call your sister right now. We'll call the ex in the post-show, but call your sister right now. Yeah. You don't have to look for him for permission. It's my f***ing show. But also he would say yes.

1:15:48Oh, she's the attractive one. That's an old picture. F*** you. She was the attractive one. I thought you said that. F*** her. Shit, she better answer the phone. I did just pay for her phone bill. Yeah, she damn better answer the f***ing call. I paid off her phone bill. and her phone. How? You don't have money? On that card.

1:16:20She has no idea. You can't text someone while you're calling them on Android? My phone's probably locked. No. Swipe up. I got it. There's so many men in here. Oh, I did do that. I'm very organized. Your call has been forwarded to the basement. So all the guys that I talked to, they have like the little two heart emojis. Okay, we're going to hope she calls back. Okay, so this is insanity. What's your minimum monthly payment on this thing? So you owe$4 ,236. I think it's low. I wouldn't trust you for anything, but sure. Oh, here you go. She's calling? Hello? Hey. Hello? What the f*** are we doing here?

1:17:01Listen, I'm talking to your sister. I'm talking to your sister. Why the f*** is she paying for all your bills? and why are you guys going to move in together? She was already taking care of your mom and she's blaming all her shit on taking care of her mom and then all of a sudden taking care of her failure drunk ex. And now she's going to move into you in September and pay for all your shit? Well, you do absolutely nothing. Why the f*** are you draining your sister? Dude, your sister has been used her entire f***ing life. Why are you using her now? Uh, I'm not using my sister. She just paid your phone bill.

1:17:34She just paid for your haircut. She had to pay for your haircut. Because I'm not able to do that. And why aren't you able to do that? Because I'm filing for disabled, and I'm actually going to school to get my bachelor's. And what's your disability? That's none of your business. Kind of. Your sister's giving all her money to you, and she's going to move in with you. I'm not going to tell you my personal information. That's good, but... Okay, good. So you're not disabled. Very good. And you're probably going to try to abuse the system. And you're a taker, just like your sister, never a giver. You're welcome.

1:18:13I just... I am a giver. What are you a giver? What are you a giver, taking student loans for your school, getting on disability, and I just wrote a$2 million check for taxes yesterday. You're welcome. Wait, are you doing this for my sister, or is this interview for me? so your sister who is giving you money because you can't do anything to save your f***ing life she's been used her entire life you know what that's like because you dated the same guy apparently as her which is crazy by the way what the f*** kind of incest shit we got going on but not only that your sister's been taking care of your mom then she took care of this drunk for 13 years and now she's gonna move in with you and have to take care of you it is not fair to your sister it is disgusting she's paying for your haircut and you're like when I have a disability no Because I would do the same thing for her.

1:19:03Except you never will because you don't work and you never work, except for when you're a stripper, but you probably aged out of that. What the f***?

1:19:15We'll leave that there.

1:19:19You may have gotten in trouble for that one. You may have gotten in trouble for that one. I think so. What's her disability? I don't know. Oh, my. I don't know. Can you guys imagine how much less in taxes we could pay if people just weren't able to abuse the system so easily? I mean, she's not getting unemployment. Why would she? I don't know. What are you talking about? Abuse the system. She's filing for disability. You don't even know what disability she has because she doesn't have one. I do know that at her last job when she lived here that she fell off a ladder. and hurt her hip. And so she was on like Workman's comp, but it's like a, I don't know, she's got like something to do with her.

1:20:07We need a revamp of every system we have, guys. We set up systems with good intentions and people have just learned how to abuse it over the years. It's disgusting. It's really disgusting. I, I, I, man, hate what this show has turned me into, but once you see the inside, once you see how the sausage gets made, it's disgusting. PayPal credit. What's going on with this? First of all, now, you didn't even tell me what you think your Wells Fargo minimum monthly payment is. I think it's like$140. So she hides that she's a stripper? She used to be. She used to be a stripper? She hides that information?

1:20:43I didn't know that she didn't want to talk about it. Oh. That's funny. Okay. She also had no idea that you guys were going to call. Did she know you're on the show? Yeah. Okay. She called back. $2 ,508.17. Yeah, you can deal with that. I'm going to be in so much trouble with her. You give her free money. I don't give a... She kind of owed you that. Okay, buddy, this takes 13 years to pay off your over-the-credit limit again on PayPal credit. $8 ,508.17 with a minimum monthly payment of$57. Oh, TikTok shop? Ah! What is Lanavia? Lanavia. Lots of TikTok shop, TikTok shop, TikTok shop, TikTok shop, TikTok shop.

1:21:32Liquid red. AMC. One AV? One A. Oh my gosh. What am I not saying that right? It's for toenail fungus. Lunavia. No, Lunavia, it's a cream. Toenail fungus. For stretch marks. Okay. I bought that out of an insecurity because my ex said that I got so fat that I look like I've had kids when I haven't. Well, yeah, me too. That's what happens. I bought cream to put on my stretch marks on my stomach. Well, I mean, you probably shouldn't have, like, your partner shouldn't hurt you for that. But, yes, I mean, I got stretch marks right here, too. When you get fat, your stomach does this, and that's kind of what happens when you get pregnant as well.

1:22:19So stretch marks happen, so that's not surprising. Show me your TikTok shot. Hey, if we both do it right and we lose weight, we'll have loose skin. I don't want to lose that much weight. You really should. Like 20 pounds. No, no, no, no. You'll be obese class one. Come on, you got to be healthy. And we're not doing this health-in-any-size bullshit thing. Science doesn't agree with that. Fortunately, news magazines got like co-opped into that shit. She's going to kill us. How do you go to TikTok shows? Just give. Just give. You're the one that spends it all on there. How do you not know?

1:22:57All right. You got like the most insane amount of bras I've ever seen in my life. I know. It's crazy. You're the one that did it. I like stuff. Congratulations. You got a whole fucking... What is this? I'll put things in the cart and then I'll take it out. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You're spending so much money on just such bullshit. It's just so much bullshit. and shoes, so many shoes and plugs and necklaces and headphones and bullshit. Oh, you are like a Timu purchaser. You have like a battery box and so many clothes. What does a$261 solar panel recharger think? Dude, this is insane. I didn't buy it.

1:23:35This is insane. What? That was in your history. Yeah, from looking at it. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, eBay. What's going on with this? well I would assume eBay still six years to pay off see you didn't even look at see that's not my purchase history that's my view history show I'm getting there okay well you look eBay$1 ,366 ,038 minimum monthly payment$49 yes there are still purchases oh security you're paying for like a security thing on there you got interest and fees galore 30.49 % interest is so ironic the way you live. Okay, bras, bras.

1:24:20Lots of, you know, the kind of pants that fat women wear. Well, lots of fat people outfits, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The classic, like, waist slimming outfit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some books, I think. And something. Bullshit. Okay, that's a bullshit. That's fine. Uh, synchrony. What's going on with this? Marshalls. immediately purchasing of Marshalls. Okay, minimum payment of$27.

1:24:49$299.99 owed. You're just shopping on every card doing so much bullshit. Left and right, left and right. Okay, so this is the big scary Amazon card that you were freaking out about earlier. What's going on with this? I know that one has a really high interest. So I keep the balance really low, I try. I try to pay off the full balance every month. Now, I haven't been. Or I don't think I have a long enough history. $29 minimum payment,$296 balance. Yeah, you're not going to pay it off. Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon. Show me your Amazon. This is f***ing insane. This is so much spending, so much bullshit.

1:25:36City Simplicity card. oh okay $398.81 minimum monthly payment $20 two years to pay off oh my goodness so much dominatrix bullshit bullshit so much hair things and yeah Atkins that ain't working oh my gosh iced coffee flavor Atkins cafe bullshit it's so stupid I think Those are the protein shakes. They're really yummy. They are really yummy. I don't think it really works, though. Lots of hair shit and lots of septum piercing bullshit. Of course. I didn't even notice it because you have so much stuff going on. Usually it's the first thing I notice is the septum piercing. Spending IHOP, the criticals, the necessities, health conscious with your Atkins and IHOP.

1:26:32Wells Fargo, wagon's going to hold you. That one's my oldest credit card. Okay. The balance is low. What's going on with it today? The balance is low. I don't use it really that much. And why don't you pay it off? Oh, you did. Okay, I'll cross this one off. But it's Uber Eats. What's the point of Atkins with Uber Eats? Sometimes I can't leave my office. I'm in the middle of doing stuff. Pack a lunch. Make a sandwich. Atkins. Meal plan. The 30-day budget meal plan for a reason. and pack your lunch, meal prep. It was pathetic. No accountability again. Okay. Oh, personal loan. We got a personal loan.

1:27:15$10 ,000 that you couldn't send me. You couldn't send a statement. What's the personal loan for? Of$10 ,000. $10 ,000. So that was I got when my credit balance was up to$14 ,000. And I was looking to see into getting. I tried I didn't okay so this is really stupid it's so stupid so I went to apply to see if I would get accepted so I could pay off the credit card and then they approved me for 10 and I thought it was just like a okay cool you can get 10 I didn't know it was a cool you're getting what's your minimum monthly payment I make a two what's your minimum I make weekly payments what's your minimum that's 187 every two weeks it's like 17 % 374 yeah that's not good maybe I can't advocate it for you listen I do advocate for debt consolidation and personal loans and all that shit even bankruptcy sure if you change behavior if you don't it ends up right here where you consolidate under one and you bring all the balances up again and you have double the debt you just touched my foot don't do that again this is disgusting this is don't make me nasty Listen, so, I mean, we opened a marketplace on CalebHammer.com to apply for personal loans if you're in that position of wanting to get a better rate because it's lower rates and stuff like that.

1:28:45I do know that I'm not in the position. So check that out at CalebHammer.com, but only if you change your behavior first. I do know that I'm not in the position to get a personal loan. I am not ready. I know that. It's not for you. I want to advocate for you. You haven't changed your behavior. I'm saying for people out there that have. I want to change my behavior. Once you do, then you can look at CalebHammer.com and find the one that is better for you. West Lake. That's my car loan. Do you not owe anything on it? Oh, no, no, no. What's your car? It's a 2021 Hyundai Kona. $6 ,544. What's your minimum monthly normally?

1:29:20$474. Yeah, it's worth$2 ,570. Oh, there we go. That's it. Oh!

1:29:31You're so dramatic. Oh, I should be because you're a f***er. You overdraft 10 times. Yeah. Yeah, I should be dramatic. You're not dramatic enough. I get paid weekly and sometimes I forgot. I don't get the bill dates correct. What? That doesn't matter. Yeah, it does because the bills come out. Weekly is even more beneficial. I know. It allows you to... Shut the f*** up. Yeah, I get billed weekly. That's my issue. It's not Taco Bell. It's not O Polio Loco. Beans and Brews. It's like barbecue. Taking$104 out from our checking account for who knows what. Going and getting some bullshit. PayPal transfer$104.

1:30:11Going and getting some bullshit from the gas station. Listen, I know you don't do caffeine anymore, but you can do the hydration drink version. Here. I'm looking for the caffeine free.

1:30:26Okay, caffeine free. Here you go. So that's the hydration drink version instead of the caffeinated version. No more going to the gas station and getting some bullshit. Do your gamer subs. It's 40 cents a serving with a 10 % discount using my code Caleb, but my link in the description below. Get your free samples. See what flavor you like. And then once you know what flavor you like, get that 40 cents a serving. Make your energy drinks or hydration drinks at home. Instead of getting a Gatorade or a Monster or whatever energy drink you do that costs expensive$4. 40 cents a serving. Come on, guys.

1:30:52So, yeah. That's my weekly payment. Not the Popeyes. Not the Zelle. Not the Nell's Auction at$41. Not the going and getting some bullshit. Natural 21 game. PayPal, three bucks. Vegas Bakery. Storage unit again, even though we already had that on other f***ing card. Hilly dating app, 30 bucks for that one. Zelenor, 150 bucks. You're paying more to people than people are supposed to be paying to you. Fashion Nova. Auction, 70 bucks. PayPal. TikTok videos, two bucks. Del Taco. Sin City Taco. My sister's calling back. Cornish pastry. Shut the f*** up. Okay, fine, fine. Well, answer. I don't know. Let me see.

1:31:28I don't know. I don't know how to work. Missed it. Well, call her back then. The Bonfire, Albertsons, ATM with Raw, TikTok videos, Hobby Lobby, BBW Cupid. My mom called. She's not happy either. Call your sister back then. Quinn Audio, Albertsons, eBay, PayPal, Walgreens, Liquor, Parlette, Marina's Fitness, Jack in the Box, Coffee and Bee. Call her. Call her. Give me your phone. Give me your phone. Give me your phone. Give me your phone! Give me your phone! It's time to bring on the blooms at the Home Depot with Spring Garden Deals. Find savings on hanging baskets and flowers to brighten your backyard or any space that needs instant color.

1:32:18Then get everything you need to plant and protect them with low prices guaranteed on soil and mulch. Dig into Spring Garden Deals for four days at the Home Depot. Now through May 10th. Exclusion Supplies. See Home Depot dot com slash price match for details.

1:32:37Just go with it. Give! Give it! Get off of me. Give me a phone!

1:32:48Get on your chair.

1:32:52She's not going to answer. Okay, give, give. Just give me the phone. Because you're an asshole. Give me the phone! Jesus. Here. Baby. Sick. We will call you back. We'll call her back in the post. You got$12 in here. You're overdrafting every second of your life. I'll get you a course career certificate. I'll get her a course career certification as a win so she can not be a stripper with disability, apparently. That's really common, actually. Mental? That they get physical disability. Okay. It's really hard on the body. Savings went down from$3 ,400 down to$257. Oh, I know my savings is trash.

1:33:34Oh, okay. That makes it okay. At least I'm not delusional about that. Oh, about that. Great. You're the one who took it out.

1:33:44We'll call the ex. We'll call maybe the mom and the sister back. I don't know. We're going to do a lot in the post show, but let's get this budget first. It'll be a good post show. I know that right now. I'm definitely not calling my mom. Why? Didn't she call? That's a no. Okay, that's fine. That's a hard no. But why? It's fine. We don't have to, but why? She's got really high anxiety. Oh, well, then we're not going to call your mom. Yeah. I don't want to hurt your mom. I don't want to hurt anyone. She's probably so mad. Huh? Don't they know where you are? What's going on? Yeah, but they didn't know that they were going to get called.

1:34:21I didn't think about it. Dangerous show. Calebhammer.com slash apply. I'll call anyone. Unless you tell me there's someone I can't call. And I will not. But have I done well not going over your no-nos? See, chat. You get to define what the no-nos are. CalebHerm.com slash supply. Okay, so your debt minimum monthly payments,$1 ,947.25. Income,$4 ,880. So no rent, but you help with utilities and stuff like that. How much does this cost on a monthly basis? It's like$250. Okay. How much for gas? Vroom, vroom, drive, drive. It's$50 a week. Okay,$200. Car insurance? Car insurance is$372 because I also have renter's insurance.

1:35:13And I pay for insurance for two vehicles. Phone bill? Phone bill is$180. Okay, switch to helium if T-Mobile's good out there. I am paying for the phone bill for me and my mom. Even still,$15 a line. We're talking about switching to mint. That one's fine too. Helium's pretty much the same, but I advocate for it because better rewards. But either way. Okay, how do the groceries work in this house in terms of you eating? I participate with grocery income. I give her money for groceries, and then sometimes I buy my own groceries, and she cooks, and I do the dishes. I'll do 300 just to be safe. Okay, TP Fun, anything else you need to survive?

1:35:52$150. Medical health care, they're co-pays on a monthly basis. There's copays, but they're low. How much? A month? It's... Even if it's estimated, this is a close budget. Like$60. Okay. Jim, I saw one. How much? $29. Okay. I will do subscriptions of$40. Pets. No, none right now. None right now. Okay. Anything else that needs to be in this budget that I have not taken into account? My pets. I know. I'm sorry. You're an asshole. I agree. I agree I had a boxer a boxer and a pit bull and they're still I know I love dogs so much right I am really sorry that is the difficult thing right where he can kind of like leverage it over your head because if you're the one leaving even though you should have been the one leaving it makes it so that he probably gets to keep them you know I want you to come by you know every week or two you come see the dogs are you?

1:36:47I stopped doing that two months ago okay and? because he's been so nice well He doesn't need to be a piece of shit. I know, but it's like, I'm like, why all of a sudden I move out and you're doing exactly the thing I've been asking you to do? Well, to be clear, if he was emotionally abusive and certainly being an alcoholic, don't go back. But it's okay to be around him for the dogs if he's being nice. But it's hard. They're not going to be my dogs. I'm not taking them back. No, I get you. Let's end with you. $1 ,151.75 left on a monthly basis. It just takes 41 months to pay off, which is really not that bad for the show.

1:37:23three and a half years. That's not that bad. Now, you are going to have a rent situation that might push that further. But if you bring in extra income, we'll see maybe it brings it back down to where it's still three and a half years. So just focus on paying off the debt. Follow the strict budget. Meal prep, meal prep. It'll be good for health. It'll be good for budget. Make your energy drinks at home, your hydration drinks at home, all that good stuff. Use the resources we have. Pay off the debt three and a half years and get a fully funded six-month emergency fund. Use the DollarWise budgeting app to keep you along that way.

1:37:51And then you got to catch up back with investing again after that six month emergency fund. And at your age, I'd probably do 50, 25, 25. 50 % on needs, age, which will be 40 by the time this is done. But 50 % on needs, 25 % on fund, which is a lot of money for your situation, and 25 % to investing. And you'll live a great life. But it's a sacrifice of three and a half years and it's totally worth it. Now go make as much money as you can and spend as little as you can and you'll be fine. But the post show will not be fine because we have a lot of phone calls to make and it is going to be crazy.

1:38:21Let's get the Hammer financial score first. You're getting out of debt situation. Isn't that hard? It's a little bit of time, not as much for most people on this show. And you have the opportunity to make more money and cut your spending dramatically. Spending in a budget, you overspent, zero out of 10 there. Debt, no collections. High minimum of payments and some dumb debt and over the credit limits. I can't give you better than one out of 10. Emergency fund, well, you drained it. So zero out of 10. Retirement, drained it. Zero out of 10. Real estate, zero out of 10. Round it up, 0.5 out of 10.

1:38:49Get yours at CalebHammer.com. Now click the join button to watch three premium shows posted every single day, six days a week by joining Hammer Elite, including an extra 20 minutes of this episode called The Financial Autopost Show. I'll see you there. I don't know whatever she's telling you is a complete lie. We were together for 13 years, but 13 of those years were just honestly one of the most miserable that I've had. So I don't know what exactly she told you, but please like tell me so I can clear it up. Well, how about this? Maybe she can say it herself. Let's compare the f***ing lists. Let's do it.

1:39:21All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's start with your three DUIs. The seven times you've been arrested. Seven? You still live with your parents. Oh, shit. Yeah, I'm sorry that I became a raging alcoholic and I had to drink. But honestly, if anyone was with you, they'd do the same. Don't forget the Summer Budget Reset is now live. Get a full year of DollarWise Premium, plus my four best-selling educational courses, and a digital copy of my budget-friendly cookbook, and my exclusive 30-day meal plan signed by me and mailed directly to you. This is a better deal than we've ever done before, and it's only for a limited time.

1:39:55It is 67 % off everything. So don't wait until that first pool party to get financially ripped. Click the link below. Save big. Claim your bonuses now.