Financial Audit's Most Disturbing Episode

25:28I really don't understand why. It's actually kind of crazy. Yeah. Um, 2020 ruined a lot of people's brains and they immediately look for victimhood. Yes, that is very weird. I'm glad to hear that she backtracked when called out as most should. She did. And if she, if you faced any real world consequences for it, she should go to jail. But it sounds like you didn't. But you got a second one? Fool me. We can't get fooled again. The second one was just purely a lie because somebody that I caught. Was the first one not a lie? Well, I mean, so far I was on your side based on the fact that she backtracked.

26:00So the second one was like nothing even happened between me and any woman at all in this situation. It was someone that I caught cheating on his girlfriend with three other women. I caught a guy cheating on four women in total. And he did not like me at all because of it. So he started spreading false rumors that I had the woman cheated on her and forced an abortion. Yeah. He started lying to people. Rinse knows that greatness takes time, but so does laundry. So Rinse will take your laundry and hand deliver it to your door expertly cleaned. And you can take the time pursuing your passions. Time once spent sorting and waiting, folding and queuing, now spent challenging and innovating and pushing your way to greatness.

26:52So pick up the Irish flute or those calligraphy pens or that daunting Beef Wellington recipe card and leave the laundry to us. Rinse. It's time to be great. About that. And I had two. Who was this woman? Do you know? No. He didn't even give a name of who it was. He said it was, he, the people that he spread the rumor to, he just told it was a woman who didn't want to be named. I'm like, I haven't been with a woman in several months. Okay. Okay. Okay. But the guy was in the military and because of his whole infidelity thing, because he was married at the time. Listen, again, there is lots because of where we were with Me Too, which was with good intentions.

27:32There's lots of weaponizing and lots of self-victimhood, especially young Gen Z women. There's crazy and there's weaponization. It's the Internet's gone off the rails, but luckily no one takes them seriously anymore. Unfortunately, this hurts real victims. However, I would be on your side until a note just got typed to me. And this is where it's a little difficult and I'm starting to struggle because, again, an influencer, sure. I would expect that there's a thousand allegations against literally every influencer forever. Never hear about any of them because it's all stupid and it's all nothing.

28:04That's just people getting upset and jealous that someone became famous, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, or they want their 15 minutes. We get it. But you're nothing. And that's not offensive. Well, it might be offensive, but it's not meant as a dig to you. You don't have anything for anyone to latch on to. That game doesn't work for you. And your ex accused you of assaulting her daughter. as a third thing. She's a very interesting person. So people believe that she... So it's just like... Well, she's psychotic. You don't have anything. Well, she's psychotic, and people believe that she killed my cat.

28:40Okay, I don't know what that has to do with an allegation. She's crazy. Well, people think she killed your cat. You're not saying she killed your cat? Well, the details line up to where she probably did. Because I left my house at 6 a.m. for work. no cat was in the bathroom. She woke up at 9.15, allegedly found one of my cats dead in the bathroom. Uh-huh, but there is a case open against... Here they are. Against her. They're pulling up. They're not for me. They're not for me. They're for her. She actually used to live in Texas right after that. But there's an open case against you. No, not against me, against her.

29:14I have a case against her. Oh, okay. Yeah, I have a case against her. No. This is... Nope. I can't... Again, it's really hard. if you were Brandon and Lindsay who are starting to get known or if you were any of my YouTuber friends I'd be like okay I get it welcome to just bullshit online nobody knows who you are you're nothing why do these keep happening to you it's probably because I make terrible choices and women specifically about what you do to women no no the women I pick are terrible choices apparently It's like I'm addicted to this shit. I don't know. I can't explain it to you. You're addicted to bitches punching you in the face.

29:56No. I don't do it. But the second one wasn't even a woman. You said there was a guy claiming that you. It was a guy just claiming that I did that to some woman that didn't even exist. Forced an abortion? Yeah. But the guy was in the military and it came out. Does that have to do with anything? Because it came out that he was actually married at the time that he was cheating on four other women. As well as he was abusive. So you're saying it was a revenge accusation? accusation. Yes, because he was the one that was abusive to his now ex-wife. So, I think it was like a retaliation thing against me and like a bit of a projection.

30:31But why has it happened three times to someone who nobody knows? I don't know. Probably because I make bad decisions in who I associate with. And if you were an actor, a musician, it would mean nothing to me and I would essentially believe your story that they're all bullshit because they usually are these days, unfortunately. But I mean it's at the time it was 2025 I mean women what? women in 2025 a lot of them like you said a lot of people make up shit nowadays they do but usually not against things where they don't get anything like 15 minutes or bringing down someone's career or you know or a paycheck because there's a lot of hush money I mean yeah stupid things that people do because it's an easy paycheck but there's also just psychotic people out there that don't care who they do.

31:19But you got three. Yeah. Islamophobic and a... No. And kid diddler. No. Not stacking up well for you, cat killer. Well, my ex that accused me of things with her daughter, she... There's a lot of story to that. We were together for three months. And in the... Yeah, in those three months, she allegedly killed my cat. She got me fired from two jobs. What? Yeah. You got yourself. How many jobs? Again, those are stacking up too. Why are you getting fired from so many jobs? Well, that I was intending on leaving those jobs because I was starting at the company that I was at, like where I made 70 ,000 salary.

32:00I was starting at that company. So I was intending on leaving those jobs anyway. But because of the situation with her and her being so like, I guess violent in a way to where she would threaten people online, give them our address and show up and threaten them to show up to my house. And why the f*** were you dating her for three months and not three seconds? Well, it was shortly after that where I was like, alright, yeah Was it that grippy? No What are you doing? It was probably the last whole month that we didn't do anything You did for two months? Yeah With this crazy b***h Hey, I was down bad I was down bad at that point Listen, just because of where we are in our culture I relatively am on your side and kind of believe you Unless I can It's just like, unless that group chat is there and like that story you told about how she backtracked isn't actually a thing that happened.

32:53Then all of a sudden you lose credibility. That's going to be a hard time. But based on our culture and all this shit we've seen online these past few years where the new generation that grew up watching Me Too and now they've weaponized it and they're crazy online, Reddit, TikTok, all that shit. It's like, I relatively believe you. but all it takes is one little thing and I'm done and I'm done and I'm on their side I've had a lot of people there's a few people that I'm friends with don't take it that way a lot of people that I'm friends with on TikTok are known for calling out these people who are abusers or stuff like that and actually hold legal action against them and file a police report and stuff like that cancellation is an economy they've looked into me for all three allegations and all three of them came up with me.

33:42You just called them your friends. Well, yeah, because they're still objective because it's legal matters that they hold people for. And they've looked into me in all three cases and all three times have been like, yeah, nothing's happened. This dude is good to go. So how long into your relationship with this woman that alleged you was a kiddie diddler? Right at the end, right after we broke up. Huh? Right after we broke up. No, no, no, no, no. How long into the relationship did she endlessly dump her baby on you while she went and f*** other men? She was on FaceTime with them. I mean, she did cheat on me at the very end, but that was right before we broke up.

34:19Why was she on FaceTime with other men, and why were you okay with that? Well, because it was a mutual friend of ours. Lots of friends. I know, I know. But it was probably the last three, four weeks that I would get home from work. Well, that's half the relationship. Close, yeah. It was a third. but it was last like three four weeks where I would get home from work where I was working like 11 12 hours including drive time and she would just be like hey can you take can you take her like I need time to relax and she would just go upstairs into our bedroom smoke weed drink alcohol and be on FaceTime and again you were not breaking up with her that day because so at that point we had she had already had scheduled a little like vacation to go see one of her girlfriends and she was going with her daughter to go see her.

35:09So I'm like, all right, when that happens, she's taking all of her shit and getting out. Like, I was done at that point. And so she got on a greyhound and ended up going to Oklahoma to see one of her girlfriends and then ended up accusing the husband of the girlfriend of her. Okay, yeah, again, weaponizing it. It's crazy. It's a bad time that we're in right now. What is not an allegation of what is 100 % real is you are behind on your mortgage. Yeah. That ain't no allegation. Yeah. Good guy. Yep. That is real. That is real. I was behind. You diddled your mortgage. How'd you just want to? So there, I will talk about that in a second, but first give me your hammer financial score.

35:52Oh God. Um, I took the test like four months ago and it's probably gotten worse since. So it's probably close to like a 0.75. Okay. Round it up to a one. If you want your hammer financial score, see where you stand in the world of money. by going to CalebHammer.com. It just takes a few seconds or a few minutes to complete the quiz. It is free. See where you're standing in the world of money, where you're doing poorly, what you need to do to improve, and where you're already doing pretty well. Make sure you download the DollarWise app. It is the best budgeting app out there. New features being added every single month.

36:19It is absolutely incredible. It will take you away from all the pedo world that you might be trying to get yourself into. It'll save you. It'll also save your budget, DollarWise.app, and all the way through the end of March. for those who sign up for the annual version after the free trial. Let's just take the free trial and see if you like it. Most people sign up for the annual version because it saves them about 50%. You get my budget-friendly cookbook. There's no kitty pics in here. That's a good thing. I will sign it, and I will mail it directly to you. Sorry, buddy. It's only pictures of food.

36:53Well, I'm fat, so it's fine. All right. So, yeah, the mortgage. What? So, to my credit, there was an issue with Huntington where they have a feature called Bill Pay. It's their fault you missed your mortgage. No, no, it's not all their fault. It was also my fault because I'm terrible with money at the time. Huntington had an issue. What, the ceasefire happened and you got real upset? Started not paying your bills? Had to help a little bit. Where Huntington's Bill Pay feature essentially would take the money out of your account, they would write a check and mail it out to the institution that you send it to.

37:27But there was an issue where they wouldn't send the money. They wouldn't send the check, but it would still take the money out of my account. So I had that issue for a few months. Ended up getting that resolved. But for the first month, that caused me late on the payment. And then after that, it was just I was trying to pay catch up. So I was behind on that. You made so much money compared to what this mortgage payment is. What the fuck are you doing, catch up? Fuck you, catch up. What are you talking about? What are you talking about, catch up? You shouldn't have to catch up to anything. You're already past due 572, dick.

38:00What's your normal mortgage payment when there's not late shit at it? It's like$579. What? What? How are you passed on$579? I don't know. I just, when the time comes for it to come out, it just isn't there. I don't know. $579 is insane. What kind of mortgage is that low? What kind of mortgage is that low? I have never seen a mortgage that low. That is fucking insane. Yeah. I got very lucky with how it was worth the position I put myself in when I bought the house. Because I lived with my parents for like five years while working as an engineer to save up a ton of money. Dude, you've given privilege in every way whatsoever.

38:39Yeah. Every way whatsoever. Yep. Not even a real allegation takes you down. And you're throwing it all away? This makes no sense. Yeah, I need to. You just stack them up. You're like, will the fourth one get me? No, I don't think so. Well, I don't think it's also. It's not all my fault. Not every time. Because, I mean, Huntington, Huntington f***ed up. They took the money out of my account, but they never sent the payment. But ketchup? Ketchup makes no sense in a$579 mortgage. Well, because I was$1 ,500 behind at one point. Dude, you make$70 ,000 a year in a low-cost living area. That$1 ,500 is a normal mortgage payment for most people.

39:13Not in my area. Doesn't matter. With your income, yes. You make well above the median household income for that area. Okay, for my - Median household! For my area. Two people! Of which you will never have. Yeah, for my area, yes. but I also want to enjoy my life. I'm not going to just sit at home, do nothing all the time. I know the playground's nearby, but you can sit at home. You said you're a homebody. The playground's actually right behind my house. Is that why you're selling it? It's a forest sale? No, I live across the tree from an elementary school. Got to get you closer to the retirement communities?

39:42No, that's on the south side of town. I'm on the west side. Huh? No, Florida. Oh. Where the olds live. Okay, well, no, because they don't live in Jacksonville. They're in Clearwater. Is that clear water? Dude, I don't know. I don't track old people. I'm not a dust chaser, okay? I'm not surprised. You should be able to catch up easy. Well, my problem is I know what I'm doing. I just don't do it. What? I know what I should. How does that make sense? I know what I should be doing. Why the fuck aren't you? I just don't. That sounds great for a guy that has a lot of allegations. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't.

40:21I know what I'm not allowed to do, but I do it. Let me rephrase. I know what I'm supposed to do with money. You tell yourself no constantly, and then you do it anyway. Okay. All right. That makes it sound so much worse than it is. Hey, you said it, not me. Yeah. No, I said it. Yeah, you did. You did say it. You alleged it. I didn't. Why aren't you doing shit, dude? I just. If you know it, that makes no sense to me. Well, I've been trying to change it. Oh, what the f*** is your try? I don't do it. That's me trying? F*** you. I got a second job. F*** you. I got a second job. You've had a second job forever, and you get fired from all of them.

40:52Okay, well, the firing wasn't my fault. That was my ex. Okay, well, you grabbed someone's ass and then told a woman to clean. You were a sexist pig. You made the joke before I could even get the line out. So what is your trying? Your trying is you get a second job after getting fired from every single job ever in the history of everything ever since you're only 27 years old. Yeah. Crazy. This is not an income situation. No. You made$70 ,000 and you can't catch up on a$579 a month payment on a$1 ,500 past due balance on your mortgage. This is not an income situation. It's not an income situation.

41:24That is far behavior. So you working extra money to get extra money ain't helping. That's not your problem. It's a me thing. It's an impulse thing. Yeah, no shit. So don't say you're trying by getting a second job. That's nothing. I'm trying to control it. Yeah, fuck you. It's not doing anything. Plus, what are you even getting at the gas station? Energy drinks, snacks. What are you making? What do you mean? You work there. Oh, well, yeah. Now I do. Now I do. Oh, f***. Oh, he's actually stupid. Oh, s***. I've only been working there for about three weeks. Oh, you f***. It doesn't matter, you dumbass.

42:01Oh, buddy. Oh, you s***. Now whenever I'm working. You just talked about how you're making more money, so that's like your big thing, and I ask what you're getting, and you say energy drinks. Oh, you're a f***ing piece of c***. But now whenever I work there. What is wrong with you? But I don't eat as much as I used to. My appetite has gone way down. Zempick? No. Nope. I just forced myself to slow down. I wish I could take Ozempic. I really do. I wish I could get myself to do it. Why? I'm phobic to needles. Why you? I'd pass out every time. What about you? Well, I'm not phobic to it. I just don't like needles.

42:36But also, I just don't want to... I don't believe in paying for something that I can do for free. But if it helps you, what's the point? Because Ozempic also isn't a permanent thing. because as soon as you get... So don't you have tattoos, needle guy? Yeah, I don't... That's... I mean, I'm not scared of needles. I just don't like the feeling of it sometimes. Okay. A tattoo isn't nearly as bad as a needle. Let's go to the next step. If budgeting apps make you feel like s***, this is for you. Most people who struggle with budgeting are irresponsible. They care about their money, but they get overwhelmed every time they look at it.

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44:23So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10 % off your order at gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. There's a late charge on here too. Which one's that one? Home equity? Oh, is this what you're alluding to earlier?

45:03What? What the f*** is going on, dude? It's a HELOC. Why? I got behind at one point. What? How? It just makes no sense. You're in one of the most privileged positions anyone has ever been in on this show. Doesn't go to prison for... Giving everything from their parents. Incredible income in a no cost of living area.

45:30Yeah. What are we doing? Well, I just kind of made bad decisions. And those decisions were several, several thousands. What decisions, dick? Buying motorcycles and random shit on Marketplace that I didn't need. You thought that would get the Asian baddies to want to be yours? No, that was purely because I like motorcycles. My grandpa races, so I wanted to kind of do something that I could bond with him. And you had a HELOC for that? Well, it wasn't just for that. It was also just for random shit. I used it as kind of like a - Dude, it's$33 ,593.95. Yeah. What is wrong with you? A lot, apparently.

46:10That's insane. But it was. Got a 13 % interest rate of death. Yeah. Of insanity. Of you. Of you. The monthly payments are 1 % of statement balance. And then the interest is on top of that. So you took this out of your house. Yeah. That's. Where did it all go? That's a shit ton of money. Honestly, I couldn't tell you. How long did you have it? I've had it for. How long did you have the money in hand that you took out? It was probably over the course of like five, six months. I'm being told a month and a half. It was a leading question because I knew the answer and I knew he would say it wrong. It might have been.

46:44It might have been that short. We all have that dream trip we've been wishing we could go on. But too often, life, or usually price, gets in the way. That's why Priceline is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality. With up to 60 % off hotels and up to 50 % off flights, you can book everything you need for your next adventure. Don't just dream about that next trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com and book your next trip today. Go to your happy price. Priceline. I could have swore it was a lot longer though because like when I, because I remember it was like a, they gave me like a little checkbook because they're, it's a dumb bank.

47:26They don't have cards for that yet. So they gave me a little checkbook that I had to use and I had to use that and deposit it into my account and then I could use the money for it. And I thought that it was over the span of like a decent amount of time. Because I thought I went into the springtime where I was using it, but it might not have been. But I thought it was. You paid off a lot of debt with it, and you wrecked it all right back up. Yeah, I did. We already have the f***ing story. And as they type it to me, I learn, instead of you just being able to tell me, what is wrong with you? Just tell me the answers.

47:57Well, a lot of times, there's been so much going on where it's like different loans or different things or stuff like that where it's like my timelines get f***ed up because I just can't keep track of all of it. was one of them? Yeah, it was. Sound bar of some kind? Yeah, it was a sound bar for the house. What are we doing, dude? How long into the ownership of this house did you take the C-lock out? It was just about two and a half years. So this was like a year ago. Yeah, it was October of 23. October 24, I mean. Yeah, 24. Yeah. Or was it November? I don't remember which one. It was the fall into the winter of 24 when I took it out.

48:44Okay, Austin, what are you doing? Well, this interest rates. This minimum. What is this? One main. What did you do with one main financial? Another attempt at consolidation. How many times have you done this by the age of 27? That's it. Two by 27 is not good. That is it. You are not a credit card person. You can use the Fiz card, debit card that builds credit. I will never allow you to have debt in your life. You're a moron. You can't handle it to save your life. The worst part is that it uses my truck as collateral. No, the worst part is the kid. The second worst part is the truck. Okay. Well, yeah.

49:17But that's, yeah, it uses my truck as collateral, so I technically just bought the truck off of myself for that much. But now it's interest rate of death and... Yeah, 22.41%. Yeah. What the f*** is wrong with you? You owe$25 ,876.95 on it. Yep. What is wrong with you? I mean, to my credit. $732.17 a month. More than your literal mortgage payment. Yeah. To my credit, though, I use that to pay off everything except for one motorcycle, which I'm taking. It doesn't matter. But I'm taking that to a dealership to sell. If you built that back up. And also, this isn't paying off debt. It's paying off.

50:0122.41 % interest rate of high balance. Dude, the minimum to payment is 50 % higher than your mortgage payment. What is wrong with you? Well, it's better than like the 37 % A-firm. It doesn't matter. It didn't change your behavior, and it is still a chunky minimum to payment. It is, yeah. What are you doing? And I was almost late on it the first month. When you had the phone call with Lindsay, you were blaming your parents for enabling you or taking any responsibility to save your life. Yeah, I know you. They were enabling me a little bit. I know your phone call. I didn't listen to them, but your phone call is right there, and she's typing it to me.

50:30Yeah. They were enabling a little bit, yeah. What? Well, when I, so when I was living with them, they pretty much just like, they wouldn't let me pay for anything. They wouldn't let me get on my own phone plan. They wouldn't let me get any groceries for myself. They wouldn't let me get my own insurance, all of that. For how long? Until what? That was until I bought my house and moved out. When did you do that? I was 23. I was 23. Okay. So for five years. Yeah, but 23 is not like a crazy age to become independent for a lot of people. I was an engineer for five years at that point. And I was making decent money at that point for five years and they wouldn't let me do any of that stuff to kind of like ease myself into getting the multi-payments.

51:09Yeah, but if you're excited to get a house, why are you not getting excited to be an adult and learn some basic shit on your own? Well, and then when I lived with them - Most people don't, you figure it out. And then when I lived with them, I kind of could not use my debit card freely. I had to ask my dad permission to use it. That's weird. And because of that, I kind of like, when I moved out, I was kind of like, oh, I have access to this money. I don't have to ask anybody for help. I can get the things that I want and then it just kind of snowballed from there into what it is today. So it was kind of like partially them being so strict that it enabled my mentality when I moved out of I can get what I want now, so I'm going to get it.

51:45And then I went overboard on it. And part of it is like they didn't really teach me how to manage it. Have you ever taken responsibility for anything in your entire life? I can. So the answer is no then? I do when it's my fault. Because I take some responsibility for this stuff. Yeah, I bought the truck off of my dad in December of 23. Okay. And he sold it to me for probably like$10 ,000 under what it was worth. What the fuck? You've never had a struggle in your life, dude. No, I haven't. And you're throwing it away. I've created my own. This makes no sense. I've created my own. Because I like to have things.

52:21I like to have life. Yeah, you do. I like to have a good life. I like to enjoy my time. Yeah, I don't know if I like that. Oh, so what came in? What came in? So that was... What's Lendmark? It's another lender. Well, that doesn't count as income coming in. You had income coming in at$4 ,600. What went out? What was your outflow? Outflow was probably around$9 ,000, I'd imagine, including the Lendmark. You took Lendmark out the day after you applied to come on the show? Yeah. You can't do anything right. Well, okay, I took, yeah, that was a lapse of judgment in a short time period. I actually applied to come on the show three times, and it was only the day after I got the phone call.

53:10What, have you had a competition to make it worse so you could come on? I mean, I had to get your attention somehow. Dude, I've been making Jew jokes, but maybe you should have been a Jew. Your life would be ten times better. I had to get your attention somehow. None of them make this mistake. What was your outflow, non-Jew? Including the landmark, I'd say probably close to like$9 ,000. Yeah, just about,$8 ,300. So even including the landmark coming in, that brings your total income to$7 ,788. But outflow is still$8 ,346. So it was still$500 more. I don't know where the other$500 would have been because I don't have credit cards that are available balance.

53:44You could be interest accruing. This is your full outflow. Oh. Well, maybe there was more money in your checking account at the beginning of the month than the end of the month, so more went out. You never know, buddy. That's how it all goes. That's your net. We don't, you know, that's your net out. So whatever off you do on a credit card in terms of if you put money on it and it actually makes progress, we don't consider that as an outflow. We don't count that as against you. But if more goes up on a credit card than you put towards it, the net is still your net outflow. Well, my credit cards have been almost maxed out for so long that I never really had an available balance to use.

54:19Okay, well, lend mark. Yep. So what is this again? You were just saying. So Lenmark, it was just a personal loan because when I tried to sell my truck, I needed a down payment, didn't have the money for it. What's this little balance? Because I see what's the monthly payment. What's the balance? $3 ,000. No. No, it is not. What's the balance on it? $4 ,931.42. Dude. Why is that$4 ,000? Because you don't know your numbers. At$169.32, payment was due a couple days ago. Yes. Yep. So this was a down payment? But that's such a tricky balance. It was. And you took this out right after you, the day after applying to come on the show.

55:10Yeah. So actually one thing that is kind of annoying. Oh, you're always late? Oh, because they know you, you're okay with it? Okay. What the f*** is happening, dude? So before we get into that part, I took it out because when I went to sell my truck, I have like roughly anywhere from$10 ,000 to$12 ,000 in negative equity. And anytime I tried to get a vehicle that had enough overhead on the sale price to value to cover that negative equity, it required me to put a few thousand down. And I didn't have that. A few thousand, but this is five. Well, when I, so I took out that personal loan. They got the money in my account.

55:48The next day, I went back to the dealership and said, because they already set me up with a car, told me a down payment, and it was all good. That's why I got that amount. And when I went back to the dealership the next day and said, hey, ready to do this trade-in, the down payment doubled that they required. And I didn't have that. How much was the truck? The truck value at that specific time was like$12. It was like, well, the value that they were offering me was like$12.5. And you had to put five down? And they wanted me to put like four or five down. Yeah. And then the down payment doubled the next day.

56:26Without like, it was the same lender that offered me the same one that approved me for. What is the interest rate on this? I can't tell. On that. It's probably like 24, 24. Oh my death. Yeah. Lenmark doesn't do anything. If you can't get a car, we have to finance the down payment anyway. That's not a down payment. Well, because the, um, the value of the loan would have been only been like home. Now I do. Yeah. Before, at the time, I was driving over an hour one way to get to work. I was driving 120 miles a day to get to and from the office. Jake, what was your vehicle situation? My truck. 16 miles.

57:01Before that? What do you mean? Before you got this truck? I've had this truck for two years. Before that, it was What the f***? Huh? No! Oh my goodness. The car that I had. Are you sure that it's this loan and not a separate? Okay, buddy. I don't even Do you even know what you're talking about? You've taken out five loans from them in the last couple years. Yeah, I have. For what? Just miscellaneous things. All this is 25 % interest rate is insane though. Yeah, two of them I used to buy motorcycles, which I then flipped. Didn't make anything. I ended up getting even on those, unfortunately. And then the other two or three were just random shit.

57:48A thought came to my mind. If this woman is actually crazy who allege you is a pedo and she has a child, would you not file claims with CPS and whatnot? I have. Yeah. Okay. Myself and several of my friends and her former friends have all filed CPS claims. Okay. But since we broke up in June, she's been with four different men and moved to like three or four different states. Is she an addict? No, she doesn't use. Is she bipolar? Yeah, very. Very. Okay. Yeah, she is very bipolar. Oh, she called and asked you if you wanted to adopt the baby. Yes. You just told me at the beginning you wanted a kid.

58:23I want my own biological kid. Unnatural kid. It seems a very rude way to say it. I want a biological kid. I want two or three biological kids. You literally could have saved the kid's life. CPS got involved at the time. And? Didn't take her. Yeah, but she asked you if you wanted to adopt. She asked me if I wanted to, but. I'm not saying you should be required to adopt because you're put in a hard situation, but maybe you could have fostered for a second. I wanted to because, like, I am getting really attached to that girl. To her. Okay. In a fatherly way. All right. You choose your own words. You said them.

58:58I wanted to because I also know that my ex would not be able to give her a very good life at all. Yes, that's what I'm saying. But then when I really thought into it, I would have been essentially a single dad working over an hour away from home. Yeah, it's not perfect. Still probably better. I wouldn't have been able to afford the care for it. That's a lie. You can. You're a... Well, the situation I was in at the time, I couldn't afford... What was your situation? Also, your parents would have helped. No, my parents would not. What do you mean? They help on everything. No, they will not babysit kids.

59:31They will not babysit, but financially. I... If you were fostering temporarily for the sake of a kid's life... I'm not saying you should be morally forced to necessarily, but it's like... They probably would have helped, but I also don't like the idea of taking more from them than I have to. For the sake of the kid. It's hard. It's hard. I want my parents to be able to not have to give me anything. I get it. I get it. Also because my dad has multiple sclerosis. And then my next follow-up question, with all these scares, these women that you were having sex with and having raw scares, were you literally coming inside of them raw?

1:00:07No. Okay, so you were pulling out. Okay, at least you were doing that. Okay. Okay. I made every attempt I could to prevent a child. Except condoms and birth control, but okay. Well, most of them were on birth control. Actually, all of them were. Yeah. That's like one of the first things I ask before anything sexual happens is if they're on birth control. Just so it's like. Oh, never trust the pill though. You got to do the arm thing or the IUD. I don't trust the rest. My crazy ex was on the next one on the arm thing. Good, good. And then the other one. That one's good. The other one had the IUD.

1:00:35Good. That one's also good. Yeah. Arm thing's the best, then IUD, then pill. I'm very conscious of all that. I'm terrified of having a kid too early with the wrong person. Yeah, because the nose will destroy her vagina on the way out. All right. I mean, maybe. It's not that big. So what is this? This looks like an affirm to me. Yes, it is a firm. So what the fuck are we doing? Art is fast. Amazon, Foundation Disc Golf. TikTok shop. TikTok shop. Wheel adapters? What are you adapting wheels? The f*** are you wheel adapting, you little s***? That was for my truck. Oh, f*** you. Amazon, Amazon. You owe a f*** 25 % interest rate of loan of death.

1:01:23F*** you wheel adapters. Amazon, Motorsports, Amazon, TikTok shop. Ah!

1:01:32What is the total balance? I think the total balance was like just shy of$3 ,000. Okay, yeah, sure. But you got it down to$1 ,374, which is still f***ing crazy. I'm going to assume the minimum payment is like$200. What? Okay, pull up your f***ing Amazon for me. Affirming Amazon, dumb tit. Listen, you're going to be getting 5 % on the Amazon card. What are you doing? And the TikTok shop, I got to see it all. Just I don't want to see your f***ing photos folder. Arm-twisting workout dude. You're buying things every five seconds of your life. Cat food, that's obviously okay. Crush hunt two-point traditional...

1:02:08What are you... Aconine? Dodge Ram something. Front brake rotors. I mean, that's probably fine. 48-inch outdoor fire pit, you don't need that to survive. Toilet paper, that's probably... Two-poi... What? Ply? What's a good ply? What's a good ply? Huh? Uh-huh. Like, Charmin Ultra Soft. Yeah. Yeah. Is two good enough? Well... Too scared of me. Well, one ply is the shit that you see in bathrooms in public places. And you only want to do twice as good as that? What should I have in Ultrasoft? Do we know how many plies that is? I think it's three. That's what you got to do, and I will accept nothing less.

1:02:45Why destroy your hole? It's so much more expensive. No, no, no. There is almost nothing more worth putting actual money to than good toilet paper and a bidet. Okay, so some cat things. A lot of the Amazon TV firm. Camping stool. Little knives. Those are returned. Yeah, that one every time has been started. I don't even remember play outfit that were that one so that you can get your little Asian Girls it was finally want you it was supposed to be for money did it now. You got it was for a tick-tock with a friend Mm-hmm Supposed to be and then I got delivered nothing happened the knives. I think I ordered those when I was drunk I keep I got a laser invisible gun I keep Dude, you look like you're about to do a school shooting and now this is lining up.

1:03:33I keep stuff in my car. Elementary schools in your backyard? Watch out. Oh, my gosh. Right? No, I keep it in my car if it's something cool that would be cool to have. You got holsters, you got mag bags, and you got laser pointers? I'm nervous. I have a lot of friends that do cosplay, and they ask me to, like, try and do stuff. And how old are they? My age or a little bit older. They do cosplay for content. Cosplay. That's why I need to be able to Glock Glock with all extra magazine holders. Okay, well that's a personal Tell me you never let this man in the office again. You terrify me. You you want to dress nice You're getting a lot of nice.

1:04:06Oh, you got a he has a flashing Trenchcoat that all with the elementary school and everything. That was because of what are you doing? Oh, what a freak that was because of the whole like aesthetic of like Peaky Blinders me and my friends were gonna do a video about it Huh Peaky Blinders, you know how they dress with the fancy clothes and everything? Are you trying to give the kids on the playground a little peaky? No, it was a video trend of people dressing like peaky blinders going out in public. Yeah, I don't want you to be giving pekeys in public. Oh, my gosh. I'm not going to be doing that.

1:04:36I really don't. Are you having trouble getting to the shop? Listen, I'm not a r***er who buys things on TikTok shop. I haven't bought anything on TikTok shop. It was on this statement. That I probably did. Okay, orders. There it is. There's a lot of random... It wasn't placed on here. Yeah. Maybe a different account, perhaps? Well, why is there a TikTok shop that you literally financed? Oh, because I bought ramps for my truck. That way I could put the front wheels up and get underneath it easier. I'm a little too fat for getting underneath it. And what is this? Pay later. Affirm? Klarna? That's PayPal.

1:05:14Klarna? Yeah, it's PayPal. I wasn't able to screenshot it because when you screenshot PayPal, it goes to a black screen. So what the f*** are you doing, mini Katana? and... I bought a Katana. It was for the cosplay for my friend or with my friends. Stop your cosplay weird shit, dude. You can't afford a life. And Lily J. Duan? Lily J. Duan? That one, it's from eBay. They're plastics for my motorcycle because a year and a half ago, maybe a year ago, I hit a deer on my bike and I needed to replace the plastics to be able to sell it. So I bought them and I put them on and that's what that is. It looks like the accountant and loop that into your firm.

1:05:50So we'll leave you the balance and monthly payment that says, but that's insane. Oh, and then PayPal credit. Yeah. You're not going to like it. You're addicted. You're not going to like it. I don't like any of this. What? That one, I did negotiate with them, closed the account, and it's on a strict 0 % flat rate monthly payment. Then why are you past due? I don't know. If you want to land a high paying job but don't have experience or a degree, then you need to learn about course careers. It is the easiest way to land the high-paying career that you've been dreaming of. I've done financial audits for hundreds of people, and what I've learned is that the single biggest factor someone can take to improve their life is getting a higher-paying job.

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1:08:25So this is literally your last chance to get it. And if you're feeling extra sexy, become one of the founder 500 purchasers to get my founder box featuring a bunch of goodies plus lifetime access to the premium version of DollarWise. Don't miss this opportunity of a lifetime. Download DollarWise and start your free trial. Go to DollarWise.com or click those links below. I don't know why. Because I set up auto pay on it and then forget about it. And then. Auto pay? No, you didn't. Or you don't have enough money in your check-in account and you get return. It's maxed out. You$5 ,309.48. What are you doing?

1:09:01Buying random shit. Just quiet now. Quiet now, you child. $196 is your minimum payment. Well, past it, it's probably like normally$100. It's$99 now, flat rate. But you owe$200 because you're a f***ing d***. Because, oh, you passed due. Interest hundreds of dollars. You've had late fees up the dick this year. You're late constantly. Dude, what are you doing? What are you f***ing doing? When I set up auto pay, sometimes it just, when I go back to it the next month after I see the late fee, it says auto pay was never set up. I know what you did. What'd you do? What was half this balance? A quarter of this balance?

1:09:37A third of this balance? What was it? You told Lindsey, better not lie now. A lot of it was DoorDash. Uh-huh. Yeah. Almost$2 ,000 a DoorDash in a singular month. There was a phase where I was gone. In a singular month! Okay, hold on. To my credit, I had three surgeries in the span of about 14 months, and they were on my tailbone. Why wasn't any of them rhinoplasty? No, I have a deviated septum, so I've got to fix that sometime, too. So I might have to do the rhinoplasty at the same time, you know, just to appease you. I had three surgeries on my tailbone in the span of about 14, 15 months, And because of that, pilot anidal cyst, it's basically, you had a guest here the one time that actually talked about it and it kind of pissed me off because he described it wrong.

1:10:20You guessed it? Yeah. It's essentially... Yeah, take that, you asshole cyst. Well, it was that one gay guy who was like cheating on his... All right, we're homophobic now? No, it was the one where he... No, it was the one where he was like cheating on his man with his roommate and all that, like, you know what I'm talking about? And does that disgust you? No, not at all. I don't care. Well, cheating should disgust you. Cheating does, yes, but like the - She's pro-cheating. No. Dude, this guy is an absolute maness. You misled me on that one. This guy is a maness. You misled me on that one. Oh, I have fun.

1:10:50This is a fun show. A pineal assist is essentially where like the bacteria will burrow little tunnels into the muscle tissue. You clean your hole, you freak. It's an like - I do. It's something that is like - You do that? No. You're weird. The bacteria - You're not supposed to do that. It's a bacteria that's there from birth. and then it eventually, like, no matter what, it's from, like, heat and pressure. It's wrong with your mom's cooch. It's not, no. It's not that. No. What, you were born with shit up your asshole? No, it's not that kind of bacteria. It's just a regular bacteria in the human body, but sometimes with, like, if you sit for long periods of time like I do for work.

1:11:27I'm R.J. Decker, a private investigator uncovering the Sunshine State's darkest secrets.

1:11:56It can create some heat and pressure, and then if there's friction, like between butt cheeks, it starts to burrow into the muscle tissue. So what does it create? It just creates like a pocket in muscle tissue. Where? Mostly on your tailbone. It's on your tailbone. In the muscle tissue above your tailbone. Does it hurt? Yes. And three surgeries are required? Why? Because the first one they took like, I want to say like 14 pounds of muscle tissue away. Oh, good for it. To clear out. Yeah, they had to clear out a lot. And then it - 14 pounds? Mm-hmm. You sure? Yeah. Yeah. She actually showed me the actual piece of meat she took out and put it on a scale right in front of me.

1:12:38I'm like, this is kind of weird. I don't like calling it meat. Okay. Well, and then it came back like seven, eight months later. It was much smaller. So it was just, that was more so just like cutting out a sliver. So they didn't get the pocket. They didn't get the whole thing. Yeah. So I had to have that done three times. And because of that, I wasn't able to move around. I wasn't able to drive as much. So you door dashed. So I door dashed a decent amount. But even just getting groceries delivered and making food is so cheaper. Flordash is so expensive. Getting groceries delivered wasn't an option in my town until the past like six or seven months.

1:13:09Because you live where no one should live. It's a town of like three or four thousand people. Because you live where no one should live. Well, the town I grew up in where my parents live is a village. Town where no one should live. Less than a thousand people. I love living in places with no opportunities. Well, that's why I drove over an hour to work one way because I would drive to Columbus. And problem. Quicksilver. Yes. 185. This one's not as bad. Yep, that's a 200. You got interest accruing$185.14, but you did purchase on a card that is accruing interest that you're not fully paying off. I just don't understand why not pay it fully off.

1:13:40Like, you're not$185.14 with a minimum monthly payment at$25. It's like, yeah, you're just making your minimum payment, and then you're purchasing$83.54. What is wrong with you? And it's at your gas station. Asshole. Dude. Make this shit. Make this shit and take it to work, you dumb tit. it. What was with you? Gamer Supps. These are their free packets. You can get the free packets at gamersupps.gg. Link in the description below. Use code Caleb for the free samples. See what flavor you like and then it is 40 cents a serving when you make it, dude. Stop this. $8.48. Stop this. I actually have Gamer Supps at home.

1:14:16Good. Isn't it so good? I use it for my pre-workout. Isn't it great? It's amazing. It's amazing. Guacamole Gamer Fart 9000. Yeah, the names are weird, but it's so delicious. Then why are you purchasing at a gas station that you work at, you dumb tip? Probably snacks. It's so easy to just make the gamers subs. 40 cents a serving. Oh, I had Steam games! That one was an accident. I always accidentally purchased thing on Steam. My Steam was connected to my PayPal and for some reason it was using my Quicksilver as a default card, even though nowhere else uses it. I don't think you should purchase regardless if you can't afford anything.

1:14:51I was buying a game. Yeah, and you shouldn't have. You definitely shouldn't have. Yeah, I regret it. Doesn't this most recent one suck? Black Ops 7 is the worst Call of Duty they've ever made. Exactly, and that's honestly kind of hard because there's been lots of shit ones recently. Yeah, this one's horrible. It's a fever dream. And it is not easy to purchase on Steam. That's some friction, I'll be honest. Yeah, I was gonna try to return it when I realized that it was on the Quicksilver card. Plus, I realized it was a shit game, but it was already past the two-hour playtime period that Steam has for returns.

1:15:24so I was at like two and a half hours of play time so I couldn't return it venture one$487.37 with a minimum monthly payment of 25 bucks $500 limit yeah and you purchased$729 what is wrong with you how did I purchase you swiped like a dumb piece of shit what do you mean how did I purchase how about this many purchases top down cam nice to see ya look at this this is crazy that's a new one to me What? No, it is not. This is what you are doing. I don't remember swiping that much on that card. Dude, are you so dumb? How are you? What are you talking about? I don't remember swiping that much on that card at all.

1:16:01You got some energy drinks or snacks. Energy drinks or snacks. You went in and you ate at Marysville. Wingstop. Energy drinks or snacks. Taco Bell. McDonald's. Subway. Energy drinks or snacks. Energy drinks or snacks. Energy drinks or snacks. Air tire. Air tire. That's fine. Energy drinks or snacks. Harbor Freight. tools, two bucks though. You probably just got a snack on your way out. No, they don't have snacks. You did. No, no, no. Harbor Freight doesn't have snacks. You did something. You got like a drink or something. You had to have because you went there and you purchased $44.99 and on your way out you grabbed something for$207.

1:16:36Harbor Freight doesn't have snacks. But you grabbed something for$207 after purchasing $45. It was probably zip ties. Because I buy zip ties all the time. Because I use them all the time. So that's probably what it was. The$2 something. The$44 something was probably like a ratchet or sockets or something, and then the$2 or something was probably zip ties.

1:17:04It was probably also a week. Energy drinks or snacks. Energy drinks or snacks. Five guys. Energy drinks or snacks. Wendy's. Energy drinks or snacks. Taco Bell. Wendy's. Energy drinks or snacks. A park. Park? Yeah, you go to parks. Which one's that? Wait. I don't know. I don't know what it is. Sportsman's store. Wingstop. Oh, a sportsman's stop is a gun store. Great. I'm going to just go watch out. What are you doing? It's for hunting. I hunt deer. Hunting what? Deer. White-tailed deer. Because I use it for meat. Go for the white ones. I use it for meat during the winter. Ground beef. It's basically ground beef.

1:17:44But it's not. It's ground deer. No, but it's a lot cheaper than buying the same amount of ground beef. Maslin, Maslin. Great Eagle, Great Eagle. Giant Eagle. Is that a casino? Giant Eagle Casino, right? I don't go to Giant Eagle. I don't have one within like an hour and a half of me. Okay, well, Giant Eagle, Giant Eagle. Okay. Chick-fil-A. Giant Eagle, I think. Energy drinks or snacks. Energy drinks or snacks. How much were those Giant Eagle? Take a look.

1:18:15I think sometimes the Walmart in my town shows up as Giant Eagle because they're affiliated companies because I noticed on previous statements yeah I noticed on previous statements Giant Eagle or some of my Walmart purchases come up as Giant Eagle and I never knew why you just opened a new card card from Bass Pro Shop that one I only opened it I only opened it because I wanted to increase my unused debt I don't use that card it stays locked it stays now No, I don't plan on using that at all. For now. Look at your behavior. Look at what you've done with the last two times you consolidated, dude.

1:18:47I don't believe you for a single second to be able to manage that behavior. It's at zero balance. For now! Seth Field. Yes, that's for the motorcycle that I'm gonna be taking it to a dealership. You're gonna set a 16 % interest rate. I'm gonna be taking it to a dealership to sell it when I get back. Sure, what's it valued? Probably close to$6 ,000. Well, you'll be... $7 ,517.09 at a 16 % interest rate with a minimum monthly payment of$258.86. So you're not selling this and paying it fully off? I think that monthly payment has a late fee in it. Oh, my goodness. Because it's normally like$2.30. Oh, my goodness.

1:19:23I don't know what to do with you. Yeah, the monthly payment is normally like$2.30, I think. Why can't you pay anything? What's wrong with you? Yeah, late fee. Yeah. Well, there was also a time where I was locked out of that account and I wasn't able to access it. And I had to call them. Everything is everyone else's fault except for yours. I'm not saying it's not my fault. I probably went to log into it and then failed the password too many times and locked the account. So fucking dumbass, dude.

1:19:57Okay. Well, your checking account is 553.

1:20:05Oh, Sezzle, Wingstop. Oh my F***ing Everything on Sezzle is an online gun store What is wrong with you? You're a freak Sezzle is what they use for like their afterpire Stop it Stop being such a weirdo Stop being such a freak weirdo You freak weirdo I use it for hunting What is wrong with you freak weirdo? I use it to get things for hunting season Freak weirdo Oh Energy drinker snacks Art is fast Art is fast He's actually Art is fast as a content creator I just bought a sweatshirt from him. That's all it was. Dude, you're late on shit, including your mortgage. Fuck your sweatshirt. Real short.

1:20:46Amazon Riot Games. Yeah, that was a bad decision. What'd you get? Bad decision. Valorant. I was spending money on Valorant. In-game. Yeah. You animal. You beast. PayPal paying for. Yep. I think it might be Hammer Elite. I don't know. Yeah, I do have Hammer Elite. Well, at least it's more value than a sweatshirt, which costs me money because we've got three premium shows posted every single day, six days a week. I watch it all the time. Isn't it great? It's fantastic. Yeah, I watch more than one episode per day on average. See, people who haven't subscribed, and they see it, they're always like, you should do quality over quantity.

1:21:23Dude, we got the quantity and we got the quality. That's why my team costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. I put all of the CHL VODs into a playlist, and I just have that playing on my TV while I fall asleep. He's a hero. We love him. Except for the diddling. Okay. Nitro. Discord. You pay for Discord? That one I ended up getting refunded after the fact because it was for an account that got banned. McDonald's. Sportsman's again. Yep. Snacks and or energy drink. Venmoing out money to our Asian friends. If it's Vendo, it's probably to one of my friends for like paying her for doing stuff for me.

1:22:00Okay. She crochets. She made two of my cats sweaters. So I paid for something. Oh, Energy Drinker Snacks, Wendy's, Domino's. Did you go out to eat every second of your life? This is crazy. Panda Restaurant, Hulu, Sizzle. Energy Drinker Snacks, PayPal, Sizzle, Sizzle. Energy Drinker Snacks, Steam purchase again,$47.73. So many in one month. Dude, I buy like, I buy a game maybe once a quarter at the max. I don't buy very many games. I think that was a game that was normally like$80. Amazon. It was on sale, so I bought it. Bronson Automotive. Spotify. If you have YouTube Premium, why have Spotify?

1:22:37I had to cancel Spotify. Exactly, because YouTube music is great, too. I'd rather have YouTube Premium. McDonald's. Oh, my goodness. Energy drinks or snacks. Sezzle. Kindle Unlimited. I'm not giving up Kindle Unlimited. I read way too much on it. It's so much nicer to have than physical books sometimes. Okay. Taco Bell. Sezzle. Energy drinks or snacks. You went inside and purchased something? I don't even know. Cash app to our Asian titties. DoorDash and Wendy's, Energy Drinks or Snacks, Amazon Prime, it keeps going. Oh my, what is wrong with you? Sezzle Cabela's, Sheetz, Energy Drinks or Snacks, Winstop, you rented something on here.

1:23:13Rented something? Yeah. Is it labeled as something? Or maybe that's premium, but usually it would say, Crunchyroll, Energy Drinks or Snacks, Cash Apping for Asian Buttholes that they post on Twitter, DoorDash and Wendy's, Energy Drinks or Snacks, Art is Fast to Pull, Outlet Domino's, Foundation. Yeah, it's another discount store. PlayStation Network. Oh, my, dude. PlayStation Network. I didn't even know I had that because I don't even. Well, you do now. Taco Bell, Paying for, Klorna, PayPal, PayPal, Sezzle. I'm dying. If it's PayPal, it's probably the Paying for stuff. McDonald's, Taco Bell, Wingstuff, Real Short again, KFC, Energy Drinks or Snacks, Sezzle.

1:23:57Real short is just a little like stupid app where you can watch like tiny... Stop yourself. Oh my goodness. I have never seen anything like this in my life. What? This is financial audit history. In one month. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! Ten! Overdraft fees in one month!

1:24:23$150, 15 bucks a pay off. Not only a shut your ass up, you patto. Not really, allegedly, kind of. Actually, technically it was allegedly, but probably not because it does sound crazy. You've had 117 overdraft fees this year. Last year, 2025, 117. What are you? What are you? done to your life. This makes no sense. And you send money to Asian OFers? Why? Does it make it better or worse? No, nothing you say will make it better. You are broken. You are ruined. You are a Does it make it worse if I say that I actually have overdraft protection too? So if my checking account goes to the negative, it pulls from my savings?

1:25:22Yeah, that's telling me a lot of where your savings is about to be. Yeah, it's negative$97.99. Oh,

1:25:43but in here alone, in here alone. People. Affirm. People, affirm, affirm, affirm, affirm, affirm, affirm.

1:25:54In this separate account. In this separate stupid ass, dumb ass, horrible account. Ah! You've had 46 additional overdrafts this year. Last year, 2025. Oh! Over 200 overdrafts. Financial audit history. Financial audit history! The first number that you gave might be both combined because that's a combined checking and savings statement. Maybe, but I don't know. I don't know. It was right below the checking account. Usually at the top is where the combine is, not below each account. So I don't think so, but potentially. But f*** you regardless. What are you doing? Your life is destroyed. There's nothing I can do.

1:26:41There is nothing I can do. I'm going to make you a budget, but there is nothing I can do. Where's your retirement, boy? I don't have it. Oh my goodness. You have had no more of a privileged position than anyone else in the history of the show as far as I can remember at least of where you came from and the position you are in and the cost of living that you are dealing with and you have thrown it away. You have destroyed your life. Oh. Oh my goodness. Let me get your minimum monthly payments. How do you exist? Shut the You're a broken You've made me a broken man Out of your brokenness What are you?

1:27:28How did it take so long for you to get on the show somehow? I Listen I don't know It's It's It's I applied within the first week of finding your show And then Two more times after that We probably saw a picture of the nose And we just expected everything to be fine No, because I didn't send a picture until Actually, no No, we always require sending pictures Oh, I didn't know it was part of the application $1 ,604.41 is your debt payment outside of your mortgage. Mortgage is$5.79. All utilities, including the internet combined, how much? Internet, 90. Electric is usually about$2.50. Gas is usually about, at most,$1.30.

1:28:04And then water, sewer, trash is$89. Okay, utilities,$5.59. Phone bill? $2.12. When you move to the better place with more connectivity, do helium because it's T-Mobile's towers. And it's so much cheaper. What is it,$249? $212. I think it's like$212 or$214. That's crazy. $212. Yeah, once you pay them off in Switch, what's your gas bill? Vroom, vroom, drive, drive. Well, before. Now. Just like the beginning, I did not care about before. Now it's probably going to be like$50. Okay, car insurance. I barely drive anywhere. Car insurance is$230. Yep. $300 for food. use our meal plan and the budget class that you get through the Master Your Money program which you all should join at CalebPamber.com join the thousands of other people who are changing their lives and join that community, it's very active it's incredible, you get all the classes and a lot of resources and then obviously the cookbook use that for the recipes, but either way TPFun, 100 bucks anything else you need to survive want your f***ing lube for your endless masturbation at Twitter chicks medical health care, are there co-pays?

1:29:11nope, nope Okay, you probably need some, but you have two cats, right? Yes. I have insurance on both. Okay, pet insurance, how much? 76 total. Okay, how much for pet food? Food is probably going to be about 110. Let's see, subscriptions, you're very online. I'll try 75 bucks. I only have YouTube Premium and Hammer Elite anymore. Those are the literal, actually, I would say two best. Listen, people dogging on YouTube Premium, but I could never go back. It is the best membership I've ever had. Plus it comes with YouTube music and not even sponsored. You should, YouTube, listen to me, sponsor me.

1:29:47But either way, it's like you get YouTube music, which is just as good as Spotify with it. It's just like, there's just everything. It's crazy. But regardless, okay, I'll do 50 bucks, which we'll cover more than that. Because you got to get Audible's a subscription too, dude. Or whatever. Kindle, yeah. Kindle, so it all adds. But anything else that I need to put in your budget? No, that should be it. I don't really have anything else outstanding that I owe monthly. Legal defense? Nope. Okay. You make enough money. $3 ,860.41. Of the$4 ,800 to bring in,

1:30:24$9 ,3959 is left. Let's just say for the sake of ease,$900. Okay, dude, the fact is call your old job, see if you can get it back. You can't afford a higher cost of living area even with the more money because you're just not going to make it work. And selling the house, I don't want you to sell the house yet. With the two loans you have on it, you might have to write a check. You might break even at best. It's not going to go well. So with this$900 you have left over, it needs to all go towards the debt outside of the mortgage. But, yes, the HELOC needs to be paid off immediately as well. And the PayPal credit and all that good stuff.

1:30:57It all has to be paid off, dude. So I need you to stay in the lowest cost. With Emmostache, a tag on one hand and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back. With Venmo Stash, get up to 5 % cash back when you pick a bundle of your favorite brands. Earn more cash when you do more with Stash. Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply. Max$100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo.me slash stash terms. That's a living area that you possibly can for as long as you can. And then you can do whatever and move wherever once that's done. But if we get rid of the mortgage of$80 ,336.84, you still have 80 ,000 hours of bad debt to pay off.

1:31:30$79 ,276.37. Of which the$900 going towards it still takes 88 months. seven years you know what get your old job back stay prove for two months you can actually follow this budget make your minimum payments on time and then go through bankruptcy well there was another option that i had because of my parents they said that if i wanted to i could sell the house and move back in with them potentially but again you're breaking even rent you're breaking even like why i wouldn't be paying rent i wouldn't be paying no but selling the house you'll still break even. So it's like, wouldn't that? It saves you money on a monthly basis and you can do that, but you're already in the real estate game anyway.

1:32:09And if you're going to stay there, I would rather you stay there and gain equity in there and bankruptcy. It is stressful and it's not cheap, but this will clear, it'll clear pretty much all this. Dude, you'll, um, the truck loan's not even a conventional truck loan. So it might cover that away as tied against your truck. It's tied against my truck. So you'll still have that one and you'll still have your mortgage and HELOC. Other than that, you'll wipe everything. They did say that once it gets to a certain point, I think they said if I pay$15 ,000 off of it, I can – Okay, well, that would be a while.

1:32:37But even still, that will get you to the point of being able to pay off your debt outside of your mortgage. Like your heat lock, obviously, will have to pay off. But even still, that will bring it down from nine years to three or something. And then it's still worth it. What should I focus on first then? Smallest debt to large debt. Okay. Yeah. Because it gives you rewards along the way. It's good for a psychological one. Would it be better to either – I mean, obviously, you said smallest to largest. But like would the credit cards be first or should I focus on the A-firm first? since they affirm.

1:33:03Yeah, they affirm. Since it has a higher interest rate. Small and large just bounces. Don't overcomplicate it. You'll be fine. That's exactly what I would do. All right, guys. There's a lot in the post show. Oh, my goodness. I guess there's some family debt we didn't talk about. Oh, and his mom just confronted on him. Oh, for f***s sake, we might call it. This f***s. Okay. Jordan Hammerly, the best membership on YouTube, he has proved that three premium shows, incredible high quality shows, posted every single day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. i click that join button let's get the hammer financial score spending in a budget overspent zero out of ten debt he locked and everything but no collections one out of ten no irs debt emergency fund there was nothing zero ten returns there's nothing zero ten real estate got a heat lock you're gonna you'd break even it's he lock has 12 it's not great i'll bring it to a three out of ten for now once the helix gone it will definitely go up immediately so yeah i mean the website yeah it's pretty much identical the website i got you is run it up to one as well, just like the site did.

1:34:02Get yours at CalebHamber.com. Now join us in the post show. It's going to be a good one. See you there. They called the police on you? She called the police on me at the same exact time I called them on her. But she did steal from you. Yeah, she did. She stole from you? She stole from you. She stole one of my credit cards, a Quicksilver card. She stole that. Oh my f***, dude. And then she stole my Nintendo Switch. And your heart. What is wrong with you? You don't pay your bills. You're overdrafted endlessly and you won't pay your mother back even though they've given you everything. What is wrong with you?

1:34:29Yeah, Caleb, there's one more thing i wanted to bring up if that's what i think it is you're gonna hate me don't forget to download the new dollar wise budgeting app this is officially now the best budgeting app on the market and i'm giving you a special deal to download but only through march 31st take a free three-day trial to test it out and then you get the monthly plan at a 33 discount for the first three months or the annual plan at an insane 50 discount and with the annual you get my budget-friendly cookbook and my brand new 30-day detailed budget meal plan signed by me and milled directly to you after march 31st the cookbook is going away forever so this is literally your last chance.

1:34:59Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download DollarWise to start your free trial. Go to DollarWise.com or click the link below.