Financial Audit's Most Vile Mother

25:02The coach paired us up together and it was fantastic. Got to put my hands on him. He was beautiful. He's a wonderful guy, very kind. And then at the end of it, he told me he's a traveling nurse and he was moving to California the next week so he couldn't make it work. Pause real quick. I do want to say, again, in our culture, if a man literally said exactly what she said right now, he'd be called to office online and fired from every job and kicked out of every school. Yeah, that's creepy. Okay. It's creepy. It is creepy. Yeah. But the oversensationalism that would be done to a man is extreme.

25:33Yeah. Or I'm just going to treat you. Especially if the man's ugly. If they're attractive, it's probably fine. A part of it, actually. Yeah, a little. I think that's a lot of it. Not for what you just said. Put your hands on them. No, they would still be ruined. Well, we were rolling in jujitsu. No, I'm saying how you said it. So he was moving. Did he move? Yeah. Did he move? Oh, yeah, he moved. So he wasn't just saying that to avoid you? No, he was like a traveling nurse. Yeah. He was driving a rental car and everything. Dude, you're a freak. No, I'm not. You have kids to take care of. How about you spend that time you're using stocking men and take care of them?

26:08Clearly they've got issues. This was back when they were with their dad sometimes. Now they're with me all the time. I ain't got time for nothing. So what's your most recent stock then? My most recent stock? You're spending a lot of money on this, I'm being told. It's not a ton of money compared to like everything. Totally, you know? What's your most recent? So I financed the flight to Idaho to meet this guy that I met online. Met online where? Take a drink, you dried mouth freak. I know. I said I got a problem with it. Well, you weren't there. Yes, I was not there. Okay. So I financed this flight to Idaho to meet this guy that I met online.

26:46And so we were talking for like two, three months. We were texting, you know, every single day. I met him on Facebook dating. Why was your radius that extreme? It wasn't. So he's actually originally. She's desperate for attention. This is crazy. Listen, he's originally from my area, but he worked out in Idaho for the winter. And then he was texting me. We were texting every single day. Then I went out to Idaho to meet him and I had the most amazing time of my life there. How? Because that was my first time flying. And then my first time in the mountains. And then my first time snowmobiling. and it's just gorgeous out there.

27:26And he's super cool and chill and we get along super great and it wasn't weird and I didn't get murdered a week. I think everyone's afraid of you murdering them. They shouldn't be. Okay, well, I'm glad you had a good week. I don't murder people. I don't hurt anybody. I'm a nice lady. You're a freak. Yeah, but I'm nice. Ah, you're scary. I think your niceties would lead you to something extreme. That's crazy. Is it? After everything you've learned so far? Yeah, we're just getting to know each other, chill. Okay, so what are you doing then? That's long distance. I mean, flying back and forth is going to be expensive too.

27:59And again, how about you take care of your kids instead of flying to Idaho? But sure, let's go. Listen. I am. I'm trying. Tell me. Their dad came over and stayed with them at my house while I was gone. So they got some time with their dad. I know. The loser. Yeah. She's literally almost dying, but go ahead. They like time with their dad every once in a while because they never get to see him anymore. Yeah, because they have a traumatic and horrible childhood thanks to you guys. Continue. I'm doing my best. Continue with this guy. Oh, yeah. He's gorgeous, first of all. Okay. Okay. He's also pretty.

28:29I don't need to know that. I'm just like, dude, this is going to be expensive. It's important. Guess to you, he's pretty. Yeah. I deserve that. Do you? No. Yeah. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. Why? Okay. Listen, their baby dad, not a good look. You know, now I need something that looks good. I'm sorry. You're a five out of 10, not at best. Oh, the audacity. No, that is normal. That's average. I suppose it's right in the middle. Yeah. How tall are you? 5 '8". Okay. Oh, you're not that tall, but I don't know. You're like, I mean, come on. You're a little fat. Your teeth are f***ed up. You're a 5 out of 10.

29:05What do you deserve? You don't deserve. Just like, I mean, I'm like probably, you know, like a 4. Says you, little fat. F*** you, dude. No, exactly. And I don't deserve either. That's the thing. We can tell men it, but we can't tell women it? Come on. Double standards again. You don't want better for yourself? Want? Sure. I don't deserve. Sure. Yeah. Well, I don't deserve a 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. Okay. I can't get a 10 out of 10. I can't. You're making him sound like a 10 out of 10. No. Okay. Okay. So what's going on? We were talking for a few days and then he started leaving me on read and delivered for Yeah.

29:39Because you're a crazy bitch. We learned that. I'm not crazy. What was so good about him? We just got along so well and so easily, you know, it was like natural. I didn't feel nervous for once. I didn't get the dry mouth, you know? actually I did out there is super dry and disgusting. Yeah. And tried making out, but like both our mouths were super dry, you know, anyways, so he goes to me and then I tried to get his attention for a while. Um, after like a month or so, he finally got back to me, told me, sorry about that. You know, stuff's been going on, you know, didn't mean to do that. I'm like, perfect.

30:16You know, now I've been on a mission. I keep trying to, we keep going back and forth, ghosting and not ghosting. You're not ghosting him. He's ghosting you. Yeah, he's ghosting me. So there's no back and forth. He's ghosting you. But, okay, I need to sleep with him. He's got the biggest dick I've ever seen in real life. In real life? Like, it's like a p***er dick. Like, it's bigger than a lot of p***er dick. Okay. Do you watch? Yes. Yeah, okay. So it's huge. It's huge. How big? Okay, so he's like 6 '4". Okay. It's like two of his hands. He's got big hands because he's a big man. Two of his hands.

30:51It's massive. It's got girth and length. You never find guys with both. You were there for a week. So why didn't you? We did once, but it was awkward and weird. And then. Because you. Because you're a freak. Nuh-uh. It wasn't because of me. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense?

31:23There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies 18 plus. It wasn't because of me. Why was it awkward and weird? No one wants to listen to this. What do you mean? I'm sorry. You're asking for the story. I'm telling you the story. Chad, do you want to know? You want to know? I'm a very numbers brain person. I know the analytics. When an attractive person talks about sex on the show, you guys enjoy it. When a creature like this talks about it, you guys are clicking skip. So no one wants to listen to this. No, they do. I'm glad to know he has a big dick.

31:53But he was clearly ghosting you. But you're like, I need to have sex with him. Clearly he didn't give a f*** about having sex with you. No, I think there's a chance still. No, he's ghosted you. You're done. Okay, what's your stalking? What are you spending to stalk? You've only visited him once, right? Yeah. It's over. Stop. I've met him like two more times since then, just briefly. How? Because when he came back. See, you got to give up on this. You got to take care of your kids, man. I know. I want to. Why can't you? Because I get obsessed. Thank you. You're a freak. I get a little obsessed.

32:25I can't help it. It just happens. I get a little obsessed with these guys. And I just want them to like me back, you know? I'm going to call them in the post-show and tell them to run. Hello? Hi, can you hear me? This is Kayla. How are you? What are you calling for? I'm with your little friend. How does she have my number? What? What does that mean? Don't act like that. I changed my number after we hung out. Are you serious? I'm not going to lie. I'm going to do that. I'm going to tell him how crazy. Why would you tell him to run? Because you're a crazy bitch and he's nervous. He talks to me sometimes.

33:01I let him. He clearly goes to you consistently. Okay, I don't care about him. I really don't. I really don't. I really don't. My big thing is I can't have you spend a shit ton of money and a shit ton of time on this guy that clearly doesn't give a fuck about you. Why would he? No, I think he does. He goes to you constantly. Take a drink. But he talks to me every once in a while. He reaches out to me first. What's every once in a while? No, he doesn't. You're desperately stalking him on Instagram and responding to every single story, hoping he responds to you I'm being told. No, he doesn't reach out first.

33:32You're a desperate whore. Yeah. No, I'm not a whore. I hardly get any. Yeah, but not your choice. I'd have options. I choose not to take them. Because I want this one. What the f***? Pass out dude at the bus stop? No. With a needle in his brain? No. That's all the options you're going to get. No, I have my sneaky link. No, I'm being mean. Okay. Dude, I really don't care about this. You need to stop going down this rabbit hole. You were asking about him. No, maybe. I think I enabled too many conversation. Too much conversation. Yeah, yeah. So how much are you spending on all these background checks and all this shit that you're doing?

34:13Instead of putting your family ahead, what are you spending? It's only like 10 to 15 bucks a check. Yeah, but how frequently? Just a few. I don't know. Maybe like 100, 200 bucks. What the f***? You know? Yes, but you're working a second job for$800. Yeah. Do you not see how insane that it is? I know. Kind of. Uh-huh. You know, if it's on a credit card, I don't see it till later. and then it'll be a problem for future me, you know? So every like fall, winter, cuffing season, I go through searching for guys, you know? The fuck? I need a cuff. Yeah. Do you have kids at home to take care of? I know.

35:01And you're spending, once you get into that season, hundreds of dollars. And then, you know, the Tinder Pro. On background checks and then the Tinder Pro and shit. And again, we're letting people like her be on there, but men will just get ghost banned forever. What a failed f***. I can't believe we have given those platforms power. It's insane. They've destroyed an entire generation. I'm using it though. It's working for me. Yeah, you must be finding the most desperate motherf***ers out there. Nuh-uh. I find some crazy ones, some nice ones, you know, a little bit of everything. Okay, so what happens inevitably because you're a crazy f***ing bitch.

35:34You must go absolutely mad when you get ghosted or they leave you. Yeah, because that's like the first time I've ever been ghosted, too, was by this guy. So what happens then? Well, I mean— I guarantee you, you swipe your card endlessly. There's no way you don't. Well, yeah, I mean— Crazy bitches like you. So that's where all your money goes. Listen— Thank you. That's what I was trying to get. I need some treats. I need to sit in my truck and cry over a blizzard and then, like, you know, feel— White woman in the car posting on TikTok, probably. No, I don't do that. You will. I'm not on my social very much.

36:09You will. Surprising. Maybe I'd find more people if I did. Now, if instead of 32, you're a 22, you would be doing that. Yeah, probably. Yeah. So how crazy do these spiral sprees go where you're just blowing money like crazy after a guy inevitably goes to you because you're insane? No, I'm not crazy. Dude, come on. He doesn't know yet. Gotten to that part. All the previous ones. They don't know that. No, I don't care if they know it. Why did I ask if they know you do it? No. So I have to go buy makeup and skincare and clothes and stuff. Do you think that fixes your ghosting? So I can find somebody new to post with.

36:48What does that do to find somebody new? You going and blowing a shit ton of money on clothes and makeup, skincare. So I can look good. Do you? You don't. You're so disrespectful. Yes, financial audit. Then I can try to find somebody else that I can take a picture with and then I'll post it to my story and then he'll see it and then he'll get jealous. And that has never worked? It has never worked once. He didn't react to that. No shit. But maybe like a couple days after. I'm sorry. No, it doesn't. It's never worked. If you connect it from like days apart or like weeks apart, you could say it was a reaction to that.

37:25Your obsession without the spell on you. That's just your reality. That movie's so good. Okay, yes. We all saw it. Did you? Everyone saw it. I told everybody to go see it, but I didn't tell you. Everyone already. Fargo needs to get nuked. This is insane. I'm being told every time you go through a breakup, you just hyper-focus on hobbies and spend a shit ton of money on these hobbies. Yeah. Like what? Like when I bought a fursuit. Furry stuff? Dude, do you really? Wow. I went to Comic-Con. You're really laying into the shit that, again, chat, here's what I know about you. Every time an ugly person is into a kink thing, you guys skip it.

38:06I'm glad you're really supporting this episode. What do you mean? It's not super sexual. Like I don't have sex in furry suits or nothing. Why'd you go buy it after a breakup? Because it was super cute. And I just needed something to make me feel better, you know? Did it? Yeah, it was because I saw something. You're a co-spender to the extreme. Yeah, unfortunately, yes. Yes, but your post spending is insane. It is, and I agree. It's on furry outfits? Yeah. What the f*** are we doing? And I put it on my freaking PayPal credit. It was like$2 ,400. What? I got it from South Korea. And I was like not really into the furry stuff yet.

38:47Okay, show it to me without you in it. I just want to see the outfit. I want to see what the f*** cost$2 ,500. I don't know if I have. This is insane. You don't even have a picture of the f***ing hobby you spent$2 ,500 on. I do. I do. I don't know if I have a picture without me in it. Are you naked? No. Okay, then I can see it. It's not sexual. Then I can see it. The art is sexual. Then I can see it because the last thing I want to see in this world is you naked. So I got it like a long time ago. And I haven't, it's kind of been sitting in the closet since then, you know? Okay, great. Yeah. Like I assume every hobby you go endlessly into debt into after breakups, right?

39:20Yes. Yes. And then I find a new one every time, you know? but this one I had to buy like a bunch of art afterwards too you know and I had to get some new characters now I have kind of a collection let me find my first suit it's super cute oh I made a furry tiktok too for a little while um look it it's cute oh my goodness that's actually and saying, all right, we're putting it on screen. That's crazy. So, okay, so a guy didn't like you and you spent$2 ,500 on that?

40:00Well, What was the last thing you went absolutely crazy when you spiraled? Lately, it's just been like the TJ Maxx Marshalls kind of spirals, but like, because I can't help but spend like a couple hundred dollars at a time, you know? And then, obviously the flight. How much did that cost? It's right there. It was like, I think for - How would you answer the question, not a podcast? 400 some dollars, I think. Okay, so how are you surviving on$5 ,200 right now? I'm not really, so yeah. Incredible response. I mean, I'm making it. I haven't lost my house or my car or nothing. Do you own a house? No, I rent.

40:39Okay, good. Yeah. Good. I could never own a house because I couldn't afford to fix it. Well, I mean, you could, but you can get yourself in a position. If you aren't blowing$2 ,500 in furries, blowing money to go blow a guy with a big dick in Idaho. All the, you know, furry art and stuff that I bought. And I was coping. You guys are insane, man. But I didn't have money, so I had to put on my PayPal credit. But I got some good art, too, and some new characters. Thank goodness. You know you have kids, right? Yeah, I do. Why are we not prioritizing them? This is blowing my mind. You were like financial audits' most evil mom or something.

41:12Nuh-uh. Predicting the title. Nuh-uh, I've seen other ones. There's some worse ones. Mom? I don't know. There's lots of bad dads on the show, but you're a piece of shit mom. Literally, your kid has almost died multiple times. She hasn't almost died. You're being dramatic. She's talked to you about her suicidal thoughts, but you go spend money going to suck an eight-inch dick instead of taking care of her. I'd say it's like nine inches. Yeah, you're a... That's crazy. You're a insane piece of shit mother. No. Go ask him. No, you think a 12-year-old, 10-year-old is going to be able to give me...

41:41No, they like that they get to stay away from their crazy, batshit insane mom. I'm not crazy batshit. Let's see where they are, if they're still alive in a decade. Nuh-uh. They'll be fine. Nuh-uh? I hope they are, actually. I mean, yes, they will be, but I'm not crazy. How much do you spend on your kids, everyone? I don't know. I mean, it depends. Like, food? I spend a shit ton on food. Not just food that's basic shit. How much do you spend on them? They're fun. They eat snacks. They're fun. They're fun. How much do you spend on their fun? We don't do fun. I don't have time for fun. Okay, and here's the thing.

42:12Or money for fun. spend money on her furry hobby. She spends thousands of dollars on her having fun and obsessing over men and all this crazy shit. But then she won't spend time or money on the kids. Do you think I'm kind of like Nikki from Obsession? She felt very relatable when I was watching that movie. Interesting thing, I just want to pause. I said that about 10 minutes ago and you already reacted to it. Are you actually that stupid? You didn't say that. I said, you're like the woman from Obsession. Oh, yeah, you did. Yeah, yeah. But you didn't say Nikki. Who'd you think I was talking about?

42:48There's a couple women, you know? Oh, my f*** these poor children. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. You're a stalker. You're a spender. You're selfish. You're crazy. I don't kill people. They're going to die. I don't kill people. No, but you're going to get people killed, and those people will be your kids. Nuh-uh. Oh, good. Great response. No, I'm keeping them alive. One of them is going to be 13. You just said you don't spend time. Okay, that's a basic minimum requirement. Yeah. You just said you don't spend money or time on them having fun, but you spend a shit ton of money and time on you having fun for dick.

43:23Yes. So I do want to be very clear. You prioritize dick over your kids. It's not like that. Oh, see, she can't even say no. She had to say it's not like that. No, it absolutely is because you spend money and time on dick. You do not spend money and time on them. Well, listen. So there is no other answer than you prioritize dick over your kids. Imagine how happy they'd be if I found him a new dad. You don't, though. You run through men. Then you get ghosted because you're a crazy bitch. You plan entire weekends away from the kids for dick constantly, but you won't do things with them. You leave them with their piece of shit.

44:02Dad, you're a bad person. You're a bad mother. No, I'm not. Wow. Really good response. Well thought out. Yeah. I have all these points. Maybe I'm bad with money, but I'm not a bad mom. No. I'm not a bad mom. You can't. What's your actual reasoning? You need to tell me that other than no. Because I brought actual reasoning in what you're doing examples that equal bad mother. And then you say, no, that's not true. Tell me why. Well, I mean, I brought him here with me. So I took him out to do something fun. For you to come on a show you wanted to go on. Yeah. It's all about you in the end. Just like my mom, you know.

44:40You want to repeat generational trauma? I don't want to, but I can't help it, you know. Actually, you can. You're an adult. You have choices. Every day you make choices. Yes, you do. You choose to go away for weekends at a time to literally suck semen out of heads. Glub glub milk jug. My Gamersupps flavor is finally here. It's called Liquid Assets, and it tastes like raspberry, apple, and success. Use discount code Caleb to get 10 % off your entire order, plus free gifts you actually want. drinkware, stickers, full-on apparel, even some seriously limited edition swag. And one out of every 10 tubs has my face printed right on it.

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46:29I beg you. for the sake of my paycheck. I'm not a bad mom. You need a rebuttal. You need a reason. I told you, I'm taking care of them. No, the only reason you said is you brought them here for a trip you wanted to go on. You just think I'm not a bad mom because I don't take them out for fun stuff? No, I said you are a bad mom. Okay, but you think that's it? Just because I don't take them out to do fun stuff? Because you're never around for them. You prioritize you having a more comfy job instead of taking care of the one with clear mental health issues. Instead of spending any money and time on them, going and having fun, you spend all the money and time on you going and getting railed.

46:58I have to take care of myself too. If I don't take care of myself, then I can't take care of them. You spend all your money to get yourself taken care of. Yeah, so I can take care of them. Your kids eating McDonald's every day is not being a good mom. But I'm feeding them. I'm feeding them. They're not going to get fat. They have my metabolism. They're going to be fine. You're fat. I'm not fat. Don't look. Exactly. You're not obese. I've gained a lot of weight since I've been at a desk job, you know? I'm about to have my metabolism. I had a good metabolism. I'm obese. You're fat. I'm fatter than you.

47:29I'm obese, but you're fat. That's okay. Wow. It's okay. You're not skinny. You're not in the healthy BMI weight range. Not anymore. You're not obese. I was. I've been skinny up until I got this death shot. Congratulations. You're not now. And started antidepressants. No, no, no. But I want to be very clear. I want to be very clear. Say it. Clear. No, you got the SSRIs. I see them. What does that mean? You're going to stab someone. I'm not going to stab anybody. You're making me sound like I'm crazy. Yes, only me. Okay. But you don't have kids. Correct. Right. So how, what's. I wouldn't feed them McDonald's every day.

48:04How would you, you haven't been in that spot. Okay. Everybody wants to judge somebody with kids. Dude, I've had, I've had other, I've had busier parents on the show who don't feed their kids McDonald's every day. I don't feed them every single day. Like McDonald's. Practically every single day. We have it in our stavits. That's me. Okay. So you'll die soon. You're getting fat. You're going to get less dick than you even can now. Yeah, probably. The rate I'm going, it's not looking good for me, but. Yes, you're fat. I'm feeding the kids at least. Listen, and I mean, the crazy thing is, it's not insulting to call women fat.

48:33By the way, I know you're going crazy on Instagram. Instagram is the platform that gets angry every time I say it. She's fat. That's okay. I'm obese. That's okay. That's crazy. Is it? We're acknowledging a basic reality. We can call men fat and it's okay. Why is it insulting when we call women fat? I'm not supposed to say that I'm fat, you know? But you are. Why? Actually, shouldn't you? So that you can medically take care of it, so that you can live a longer life and take care of yourself? I should call myself obese. That is a correct thing to call myself. I shouldn't be mentally f***ed and say, no, I'm actually healthy at any weight.

49:03Actually, yes, you should call yourself fat. Do you choose to be obese then? Yeah, with the lifestyle choices I'm making, yes. Why? Same with the lifestyle choices you're making. What about your medical stuff? Okay, clearly you didn't understand the point. You said, I'm not supposed to call myself fat. No, you should. You're not supposed to be delusional about your own health. We shouldn't only call men creepy for doing what she did. We should call her creepy. We shouldn't only ban men for doing what she did. She should be banned. We shouldn't only call men fat. We should be able to call women fat too.

49:29Weight is the same for everyone. Yeah, but I'm just, I'm told, you know, you can't say that you're fat, you know? Why? Because you're not that fat is what everybody says. You're skinny, but it's, you know, you're not skinny. You're not obese. If that's what they mean by not that fat, that is true. You're not obese. No. But you're fat. Damn. That's okay. But if we recognize it, that means we're starting to do change. It's like saying you don't spend, dude, you saying you're not fat is like saying you're not in debt. It's the same thing. It's literally ignoring something that exists, which means you'll never have to address it.

49:59If you're okay with - Yes, that's what I'm saying. So all these woke heroes on Reddit and TikTok and now in the Instagram comments of this clip that's being posted, this reel, they're going to be like, this is disgusting of you, Caleb. This is a disgusting show. How dare you call me? I don't think they'll say that. Yes, they do. On Instagram, trust me, they're all pussies. It's really weird. I don't understand it. It's like they've never seen the show in four years. Yeah. But either way, the thing that's crazy is like, just because you're a woman, we can't recognize basic medical things. What are we doing as a society?

50:31I don't get it. I really don't. Shaming men. No, no, no. But the thing is, if you're okay with being fat, then it's fine. But we shouldn't say we're not fat when we are fat. Yeah. I'm not happy about it. There we go. Thank you for being real. I appreciate that. I'm not happy about the weight gain. But I won't say I'm quite fat yet. You know? No, no, no. Okay. But anyways. You're not obese. Yes, yes. It's different. You're overweight. You're not obese. Yeah. Okay. Anyways. Yeah, no. They're fine because they're being fed. Buy McDonald's every day. That's what I said. It's not healthy for you. It's not healthy for them.

51:10They're literally bleeding out and you're feeding them McDonald's as a cope and then going and taking dick in Idaho. They need to be fed, you know? Because a lot of times they're just at home. Who's getting fed more, them or you a dick? I feel like you're prioritizing the second one because you're a freak. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10, zero being the worst, 10 being the best. Probably a one. Yeah. Yeah. If you don't want to be like her, make sure you get the DollarWise budgeting app. Take the free trial. See if you like it. Because I'm fat. Huh? Is that why I need a budget cookbook?

51:44Is it the cookbook? It's the meal plan. It is healthy and the cookbook is digital. You get it if you sign up for the annual version, which saves you nearly 50%. I hope I lose weight. If you want to, then I hope you do too. I personally don't care. I'm making fun of you. One, for the show. Two, because you said you can't call yourself fat even though you're fat, which is an absolute thing to do in modern day society. I don't understand us. TikTok has ruined people. This culture is stupid. Get your hammer at financial score at CalebHammer.com. It's free. What the fuck? What the fuck? No, I don't know.

52:17You're pulling me out of my plug. What do you mean? Oh, sorry. You couldn't tell? I was, yeah. You know, I was just trying to, I thought you were trying to help me. Like, lose weight. Sure, yeah. If you follow that in meal prep, it'll budget and lose weight. So you do care? Of course I care. That's kind. But honestly, in this conversation, I care more about the kid than you at this point because I'm actually afraid for her future and you're a bad mother and you're literally prioritizing dick, which is crazy. I don't take dick all the time. Trust me, but if you could, you would. But who would want to?

52:51Wow Some people Okay Everyone's saying no No I'm not looking All the men are saying no No It's just like I don't know This is basic things Again They're fed Every woman will call you beautiful In the comments This is the world we live in right now Yeah They never call beautiful women beautiful But they always call the ugly ones beautiful It's an interesting thing Nothing sincere anymore You know Nobody's ever This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks.

53:36Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. Genuine. Hey, she said it. Yeah. Let's remember that before you call her beautiful. Oh, okay. The audacity. I wouldn't say you're ugly, though. Like I said, you're mid, five out of ten. Yeah, Midwest mid. Just like you're not obese. You're fat. Yes, sure. I'm a realist. Oh, my kids won't be. Oh, if you feed them McDonald's every day. No, they're fine. Well, if they get on SSRIs, which I'm sure. Okay. Yep. Dang, 10-year-olds on SSRIs.

54:15Isn't that kind of quick? She's not on one. You're not kind of zooming? The other one. 12-year-old? Yeah, well, we definitely need some kind of intervention there. Yeah. I do hope they're trying. Okay, so this is the dick debt. Dick debt. You only owe$154 left. It's a paying$6, which actually means you're probably paying interest on it. Because usually it's paying$4 to avoid interest. I don't even remember. I try to do the interest-free payment plan, so every time. because, you know... Paying six, maybe they have that now and I'm just not aware. Either way, that monthly payment is going to be $52.

55:29Okay, so - until you talk. I can't. Oh, trust me, we can tell. I can take this back and flip this somewhere. Brother, I don't understand. Brother.

55:43I need you to leave North Dakota and just get some societal exposure because the only other place you've gone to is Idaho. I just... And now Texas. I just... You need to go to a city a bit longer because you are too... Um, farm trapped. Farm trapped. Yeah. Like, you haven't had enough human interaction, and the only human interaction you have is literally flesh. Yeah. Imagine if I was homeschooled. Dude, I'm serious. Put that back. It's actually loud. This is a podcast. People are listening to it. Sorry. Okay. Are you? Because you just took it away. Well, you— Dude, you suck, man. Yeah, no. Sometimes.

56:23No, amount of each payment is$142. number of payments three oh okay so 142 yeah wait no this doesn't make sense something's weird here number of payments three amount of each payment is 142 okay whatever so 142 41 so you must have just went to idaho it was in february okay i actually am gonna call this guy in the post i'm gonna tell him to leave i don't think he will oh well he's already ghosting so if we even get an answer, we'll be lucky. Not at this second. Tomorrow. Okay. So what is this? A signature loan. This is the payoff amount's higher than the original amount. It's only gone up probably because again, you prioritize leaving your kids, then paying off the debt.

57:15Working. Anyways. You work for you. To be clear, I think we've learned by now in this episode so far, you work that extra $800 a month so you can go have fun and leave your kids. We've learned that. I don't get to have fun all the time. I have to work. Oh my goodness. Did you not just hear what I said? Neither did the kids.

57:38Dude, I don't know what to do with people like you. So what is this for? I don't know. Stop. You don't have to. Hey, hey, hey, woman. You don't have to go before you say anything. I can't. I can't not. Yes, you can. You just. I get the cotton mouth from my mouth. You just talk. You don't have to go talk. You go talk. Word. Sorry. No, it's not funny. It's disgusting. When you point it out, it makes me want to do it, you know? You're one of those people where they do something annoying. Someone says you're doing something annoying, so you want to do something annoying more? Yeah. Oh, you're crazy.

58:15What? You're a horrible person. What? That doesn't make people crazy. Okay. When I talk, I talk. I don't go talk. And you thought, okay. You know, we're cutting every single time you do this. So keep doing it. I don't care. But like, just stop. Just be normal. I'm trying. I am normal. I'm being myself. What's the signature loan? I don't know without looking at it because I don't know what it's from. $3 ,650 is what you borrowed in literally this month. Oh, yeah. Literally two weeks ago. For my— Sorry, I forgot. It just entered July a month ago. Yeah, for my wheels. I had to get new wheels on my car.

58:57What? For$3 ,650? And then I, so half of it was the wheels and tires and the other half was paying off my car credit. You consolidated car credit? What's car credit? What's car credit? I've never heard of car credit. What's a car credit? Amistad Synchrony Big, they have a car credit. A car credit? Yeah. Oh, you took out a new loan attached to your car? What's a car credit? You mean owed on your car? It was a credit card. And I paid it off because it, I. Why did you say car credit? That's what it's called. car credit card. Oh, it was a synchrony loan for something that you used previous. No, synchrony bank credit card called car credit.

59:30Okay, so you used it for something different. No, I used it for my car, to fix my car. Yeah, you used it for a different car thing that was not this current thing. So, that one ran out of the promotion, and I got a 35 % interest on it. So, I used the loan. The answer is yes. The answer is yes. You used it for a different car repair before. Yes. That's what I was asking. Yes. You f***ing moron. Yes. And then I paid that off with the loan. And then I paid for the wheelies and the tires. What's the wheelies? The wheels. Is that a brand? Oh, just wheels? Wheels. You're just infant talking? I had to buy wheels because one of them was f***ed up.

1:00:11Because it was sitting in my car. Flat. Just one? Yeah. It was like completely dunger. Why'd you get wheels for every wheel then? Because I downsized my wheels. because they said... Was that not more expensive than just replacing one? They said it'd be cheaper in the long run. Oh, the fuck. Because... Because what? Because of the tires. Because I have to buy tires, you know, every three years or whatever. So? Didn't you just have to buy tires with your new wheels? I'm out of water. Um, yes. Let's go. Let's go. Can we get a bottle of water for this dumb... It is cool now. Did you know that? Yeah, but I said dumb before.

1:00:50Cunty. Very cunty. Good. Okay, well, guess what? It's gone up from your original loan balance. That's because interest started occurring before you... Yeah. Yes, before you started making your first payment. It's going to be$222.64 at an interest rate of 12.1. It's not good. It is better than a credit card, but it is not good. That's the reality. But I had to do it. No, you didn't have to get new tires for every tire. They sold you into it. They upsold you. And they said it would save you more in the long run, which I don't even know. But either way, I know it certainly didn't save you more in the short term.

1:01:30The tires were significantly cheaper because I paid for them. Then one? Yeah, well. Then one. No, so one tire. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. But in the long run. I know, they sold you on that. I don't even know if that's true. It is. It is, because I had to buy the tires. I don't trust you. I had to buy the tires, too. Exactly. Buy the new wheels and the new tires. Exactly. Instead of having to get tires later. Each tire was$100 cheaper. What? But that didn't save you on the thousands you spent. So the long run, we're talking maybe like a decade and a half. Oh, you got sold, girl. You got sold.

1:02:04I'm not good with cars. No shit. We already know this. You're not good at anything. How do you know? Well, one, you're bad at being a mother. All you had to do was take some dick, pop them out. Other than that, you haven't taken care of them. Wrong. Other than McDonald's. You don't even see them. You don't even take them to do anything fun. I'm not a bad mother. Again, you're not able to actually support that with anything. Yeah, because I'm taking care of them. Not from anything I see.

1:02:38$222.64 is insane. Yeah. Sorry. I was agreeing with you okay but I had to do it yeah you did it and you're justifying it I had to do it you didn't they sold you on the upgrade it would have cost you like a thousand bucks or something right um for the new wheel entire yeah probably would have been like five hundred bucks six hundred bucks what are we doing the fact that you were justifying spending it was it was six hundred bucks at first and then it was and then you spent twenty five hundred so shut the f*** up I had to buy okay I have something else what I don't know. Okay, it's a paying for it at 0 % interest.

1:03:18So, oh, it's an affirmed loan. What did you affirm here for$468.97? The tire for my truck. What the fuck? I think. What are you doing? Or is that the Amazon? It's for gear. I'm being told it's gear. Oh, that's Amazon. I don't know what gear is. What's gear? I needed gear for the camping. What camping? For when we came out here. What? We camped our way down here.

1:03:43Why don't you just spend to come down here? Camp your way. How many stops did you do? It's a straight shot down 35, practically. But it's a long drive. It's long. How long? So, well, if I would have went to Fargo to Austin, it's 18 hours. Well, that's shorter than getting to my home state of Michigan. So it's like I've done that a shit ton of times. But I wanted to go see the ocean because I've never seen the ocean. So we went— Gavelson? Where'd you go? Um, like over by - The ocean's not in between. Corpus Christi, over by there. So you overshot Austin? Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I wanted to - How long have you been on this f***ing road trip?

1:04:26For the last week. Just to come do financial audit? What the f***? How much have you spent on this, you moron? Um, so camping isn't very expensive. It's the gas. Yes, right now. And you've been doing this for a week and still food and s*** like that for a week. And I know you're stopping against the bullshit. it. So of course, what the f***? Well, we only ate out. How are you camping? What do you mean? In a tent? Girl, it's 100 degrees out. It's 100 degrees and like 90 % humidity. Yeah, the humidity in Arkansas was the worst. No, how are you doing this? Is this even safe? There's a whole bunch of people camping, yeah.

1:05:03Tents, though? Yeah. Tents in the middle of Texas summer? Texans love camping. They don't really do it in the summer. We weren't the only ones. And we were at the ocean, right at the ocean. The rest of them were homeless. What? I'm sorry, the ocean you went to was the Texas side of the Gulf. It ain't a nice ocean. That's the first time you've seen the ocean? Yeah. And you saw Corpus Christi ocean? I've hardly been out of North Dakota. No, I can tell. We can all tell. Yeah, yeah. Girl, it's not like I'm like a big traveler by any means. We know me, but I've seen some nice ocean. Trust me. And we stopped at the swamp in Caddo Lake.

1:05:37That was nice. These poor kids. So every night is usually only like 20 bucks or something like that. Yeah, but it's a shit ton of travel. Shit ton of stopping in and getting some bullshit. Yeah. How much have you spent? It was the question I asked you. I have no clue. You spent, you got a$468.97 loan for the gear for the camping. I'm a buddy. But I can return some of it. That's a hotel room right now. I can return some of the stuff I've been used. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That right there, that gear specifically is you drive down, You stop somewhere halfway. There's your room.

1:06:10You drive down one more, stay here. Boom, there it is. Because what did you spend this$1 ,018 on a firm for? What is that? Because you even bought a new electric grill. Yeah. No, I bought a propane grill because the first place that we stayed at in Arkansas didn't have electricity. If you got a hotel on the way down, we filmed this and you went halfway back up, hotel two times, you would have spent less. Well, we wouldn't have seen the ocean. Yeah, but you saw the shittiest version. It's the Gulf anyway. You didn't even go see like the Atlantic or Pacific. I don't know the difference. I saw the ocean finally.

1:06:44I always wanted to see the ocean. No, I did. And I took my kids so they don't have to go their whole life without seeing the ocean or wondering what it's like. Ladies and gentlemen, I got something new to help you that we have personally built right here on CalebHammer.com. We have new Caleb Hammer financial resources. They are the ones I would personally use, which is why we made them for you to use. As you've already heard me talk about, personal loans are okay when you're good at debt. I personally use them when I can leverage them for a situation. So we have good personal loans on CalebHammer.com.

1:07:16We also have auto insurance now. You can check for free and see if you can save a shit ton of money on auto insurance. Remember, none of this actually matters if you continue the same bad behavior. So it's not for you if you still suck. But if you've proved you can budget, check out these programs from personal loans to car insurance to see if you can save a shit ton of money across the board. Go to CalebHammer.com or the Caleb Hammer Financial Resources part of the pinned comment or description below and save a shit ton of money. Starbucks is bullshit and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest.

1:07:53So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make gamer subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamersubs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10 % off your order at Gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. Okay. Technically, the Gulf is classified as an oceanic basin or a marginal sea of the Atlantic Ocean.

1:08:34So I guess we can say you've technically seen the ocean. Yeah. I'd say it still counts. Barely. It's salt water and jellyfish. Very good. So$1 ,018.13 on this Affirm. What is this? Oh, screen record Amazon? Okay, let me see. Hold it up and start your screen recording, Android freak. I don't know how. I've never had to do that. Does anyone know how to start an Android screen recording? I think I can figure it out, though. Oh, no, you can't. How do you know? Because we're going to be here for the rest of the time we're supposed to be filming by the time you figure it out. Eventually. I don't know.

1:09:09Where do you want my orders? Just give me your phone. I don't know.

1:09:1612-pack of Fire Color Changer. That's what's required to survive. electric candle lighter, a mini projector. So you can wash things in the tent? Yeah, that was the plan. It was supposed to storm the first two nights. Yeah, you gotta do that. I don't know how you guys are surviving. Fire extinguisher, sure, that's good safety. But again, spending so much money when we could have just done a night hotel, night hotel, that's it. Inflatable pool floatie. I guess some of them had a pool. Or the ocean, right? Band-Aids, yeah. I mean, a projector screen. I mean, geez, good death. Air matches. We didn't use that.

1:09:53You're spending so much. There's the tent. No, that's a beach tent. I didn't use that, so I can return that, too. And the projector. Because I ended up not. Amazon Basics. I mean, sometimes you got to, oh. Pussy shaver. Oh, she's hoping to get some while she's with her kids. No. Can't. So much bullshit. So much menstrual lube. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. You are just, why do you have to be the most disgusting? Oh, pelvic floor extender. Oh! What? Oh! If it was a hot guest, that would be getting hard. But f***ing. So was this$1 ,000? No, this is Samsung. For that, you affirmed that phone? Yeah. Good f***ing death.

1:10:39Okay, what's your payment? It's like$50 a month or something like that. What? It's going to take forever. It's like a year long. No. 80 bucks. Two years. Okay. Did you need a new phone? You can't survive. You're spoiling yourself instead of your kids. Besides the camping trip, the first thing you did in their 12 years. Not the first thing. Anyways. Sorry, McDonald's. Did you need a new phone? I gave my kid my old phone because her phone was dog shit. Yeah. That kid should have access to the internet. They both need phones. They're home alone all the time. Oh, dude. Dude, they have no social interaction.

1:11:19Yeah, they do. Oh, they don't. The one time that one did, she—

1:11:25Well, it's public school. I went to— Who went to private school here? Anyone? I went to public school. But I went to public school in a small town. We actually got two privates over here, for what it's worth. We got the Richies. And we're the public schoolers. Did we— Ourselves? Mm-mm. Yeah. Uh-uh. I mean, I went to public school, too, and I never— but what's your point it's a different girl I got caught once in my life and it was unconsensual and I wish I could get that foreskin back oh okay um feels much better I'm being told I've been told anyways I don't know well you wouldn't but that wasn't for you that was for the boys you're purchasing on this visa that you can't pay off yeah it's a$40 minimum payment you immediately put it back on while interest is growing it takes nine years to pay off I needed some money because I was out of money That purchase on there, I think, was when my kid was in the hospital after I got back from Idaho and Williston.

1:12:24What? Why was your kid in the hospital? She needed to have removed. Yes. So, mind you. And that was for food. That's okay. Yeah. Mind you, you weren't there. You see how you're never there for your kids and they get in medical issues? I was there. I was with her in the hospital the whole time. That's how I spent the money on it. You said it was right when you got back it happened. Right, when I got back. Right when you got back. Yeah, right when I got back. I got into town and had to go right to the hospital. And what would have happened while you were taking an eight-incher? I don't know. Dude, you got to be there for your kids.

1:13:01Gift shop, a vending machine, and just going out to eat. Yeah. Interesters are accruing like crazy. I need you there for your kids. I just need you there for your kids. Mm-hmm. Oh, earning. You're doing earning. That's good. Yeah. $400. I mean, this is like you have to pay it off in order to use it. And that's what it is. Why are you pay advancing yourself? Because I need more money. But you actually don't because you just spend it all going camping, going and sucking dick, going and do all this stuff. That's what you're doing. How are you guys getting back up? How long until you're back up? We're going, we're going to start going tonight.

1:13:35And then are you doing any off trail activities? I don't plan on it. No. How long is it going to take? Um, so I want to get a hotel, just a cheap hotel for tonight somewhere on the way. You already have all the gear. Now you should just camp to save money. I have to work this weekend. And it's... This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks.

1:14:10Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies 18+. It's the 4th of July. They want to be with their dad. No, but stop at a campground instead of a hotel.

1:14:27Goodness. Money management. What is this? MMI. Have you heard of it? No. Oh, sorry. Maybe. I assume it's like a... Like debt negotiator. Yes. Oh, good. while you're all back in debt again. Listen, this is why we have great personal loans and different services and whatnot on CalebHammer.com. We've curated a great select because I love debt. Debt is great. You can't do it if you're in her position. You really can't. Because she consolidated her debt to make it even better. Not a consolidation. The debt negotiation company. I used to consolidate. Kind of. But the thing is, it doesn't work without changing your behavior because then you end up right where you are today where you max out credit cards.

1:15:09How many times have you consolidated before? So before I did the MMI, I had like. Good death. You owe$15 ,000 on it. I consolidated probably like four times. Dude, see? Why would you think this changed it? Because guess what? Now you're here again. You're on my show where you have insane debt. I had to close a lot of the credit cards to get that deal. And then you opened other ones. You have the visa. You have a firm. You have a firm. You have a signature. I've had the visa since I was 18. So I know. But like you still have all the shit. Now you're using earning. Without changing your behavior, You're just in the end, man.

1:15:42I know. The behavior is a problem. Your minimum payment is$554. Your behavior across everything is a problem. The emotional regulation is a problem. Yes, across everything. And do you not see you rubbing it off on your kids? No. What? Where did you just get back from the hospital for? Uh-huh. Come on. How do you not see that you being such an immature, horrible parent is obviously rubbing off? No. I wasn't there. That's what you said you were. Oof. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yep. Carter! Got him. Oh, you fucking... You... Be there for your kids. You were taking dick instead of being there, and she ended up in the hospital.

1:16:23No, that was when we were coming back from visiting my friends across the... Back home. You. But I had the younger kid with me, and she wanted to stay with her friends. She had the option to come with. She didn't want to. She wanted to do... And guess what? When you weren't there, she went to the hospital because you're a horrible mother. It was as soon as I came back. No, not, you just said you were gone. As soon as I came back. No, you keep changing your story for what makes you look better. She was getting admitted into the ER when I came back. Yeah, exactly. Yep. Synchrony. What's going on?

1:16:54Care, it's a, oh, this is the car. This is the car care, but it's gone. It's gone now. Yep. Because you put it on that. Loan. Yeah. Okay. Omaha. FBN. FNB Omaha. What's this? It's an old credit card. It's also on the MMI. Okay, same with Care Credit? Also on the MMI, yep. Okay, same with Verizon? Also on the MMI. You couldn't do anything. You can't do anything. Same with JCP? Yep. All this, all the money goes to literally doing penis stuff instead of actually taking care of the debt. Rent and dog fee,$1 ,300. I just have written on a paper. What is this? So. Rent? No, my rent is like$1 ,600 a month.

1:17:41The dog fee is what that is. You didn't even take care of your kids. Do you have a dog? I used to. Not anymore. What happened? I had to get rid of it. And I couldn't afford to take care of it. Pathetic. She needed. And you think you're going to be able to take care of kids? Obviously, we've proven not. She was kind of like disabled. Dude, I'm sorry. You disgust me on a person-to-person basis. Wow. Wow? Are you surprised? Yeah. What? Yeah. Are we playing Rust later? We should play Rust. Want to play Rust? Mm-hmm. Call of Duty. See, I was trying to make myself happy because you're pathetic and disgusting.

1:18:25What do you mean? You're pathetic and disgusting. So I looked at my boys and I was like, let's play Rust. Some boy things? That's called I like to enjoy life. You are bringing my entire mood down here because you're actually one of the worst people I've ever met. No. Because kids, nothing matters more than kids. Right. And how you're taking care of it. And taking care of it. And making sure they're being taken care of. Nothing. Why does it sound weird to say the word kids? We've just had too many on the show. Oh. You're almost as bad. No, I'm not. By letting bad things happen to them. No. So what is this rent and dog fee?

1:19:01I had a dog and I had to get rid of it and they made me back pay for all the time that I've lived there even though I didn't have the dog time I lived there I tried to pay the deposit when I first got the dog but they only allowed dogs that were over a year old and I didn't know that you have a Nissan Titan I don't even know what a Titan is yes a truck oh that was a question it's a truck kind of but your response was so funny. I don't know what this is. Yes. Yes. Do you have a minimum repayment to that dog and rent thing? They just include it in my rent. So I just pay$1 ,600 every month. Instead of?

1:19:46Instead of like$1 ,500 something for my rent. Well, how much is going to this? So I can put it as a minimum because that actually I need to know when it's paid off. That does help. It's $4 ,60,$70 bucks. Something like that. But I paid more of it. I'll do 65. I just included my rent. Shut up! It's Nissan. What about it? It's 5.4%. That's actually not horrible. With a$356 minimum of the payment, that's bad for you because you can't afford life. And what's bad is you're underwater by about 10 ,000 hours. It's worth 27. You owe 37 on it. But here's the thing. You already had a paid off car. And then you did this.

1:20:25Is that the worst payment in the world? No. But it's bad when you already had a pay off car Why'd you get this? It's super helpful. It's been super helpful. How did he already had a car? Have you seen the snow in North Dakota? It's insane. It's been wonderful. I don't have to call anybody for a ride. I can get through just fine. Yeah. Do you want me to show you a picture? Shut the fuck up. I saved a picture for you. It's got snow in April in my truck. Okay, so we used to get that in Michigan. What do you want? I needed it. And it's been super helpful for moving stuff, for camping. it's a lot more comfortable.

1:21:00Then sell your other car and put it towards this then. That's what some people said, but I want to keep it. Dude, see, that's the thing. Why? Why? Because then my kid can drive in a year. No, please. At 13? 14. You said 12. She's going to be 13 this year. Okay, dude. Okay. Can you drive at 14? I thought it was 16. Is that when the permits start? Yeah. Yep. 14? Then I have a car for my kid already. And for long driving. Well, even still, sell the car. Save up and help your kid get a car and work. Also, I don't want this kid to be mobile, man. I'm scared with what this kid does. I'm scared of her.

1:21:40Yeah, aren't you? She's a nice kid. Well, I didn't say she's a bad kid. She's a risk, though, for herself. I don't think she's a mean person or bad. I mean, I kind of met her a little. She didn't seem like a piece of shit. I never insinuated that. That's, she's a flight risk for herself though. I don't know if I want her driving around. She needs more help. Yeah. Yeah, sell the car and put it towards your debt. Okay. What can you sell your other car for? Last I looked, it's like 6 ,000 or something like that. 5 ,000. Okay, sell it and put it towards those. Like I get it. Yes, maybe. Towards the truck.

1:22:17Yeah. Maybe, I don't know. I'm getting some data. Then I'll have better information here in a second. The interest rate isn't horrible, But what is this? Hospital bills. Get on a payment plan. You can get like five bucks a month, dude. I am on a payment plan. Well, how much is it? For the$956.54. I believe it's like 50 bucks a month or something like that. Yeah, I told you. Okay, essential health. Another medical bill? Yeah. Okay. It's$542.47. That one I put on my FSA. So is it paid for then? Yeah, that one's paid for. Okay, is this for your kid that can't stop getting hurt? No, she usually doesn't go to the hospital.

1:23:00That was the one time thing. Yeah. Okay, so is this a lot of different— Wait, what is this? What am I looking at here? It's collections. This is collections? For a hospital bill. Why? Why didn't you get on the payment plans? I was on a payment plan, and that stuff came after— Dude, this is like$300 total. I was already on a payment plan, and that stuff came afterwards. Why? Not if you were paying on time. Because it just keeps coming. The hospital bills keep coming. And they send their payment plans. Fargo, North Dakota gets 51 inches of snow a year. Kalamazoo, Michigan, where I'm from, gets 60.

1:23:35It's snowier where I'm from. That's called Lake Effect snow, thanks to Lake Michigan. I, my entire life, went up there. And my job was to delivery drive, by the way. So I drove a lot. Was a front-wheel drive sedan. You don't need the truck. Get rid of the truck. You're not. I was allowing you to justify it for a second until I actually had data. to stand on it. And I go through, I've, my entire growing up life and driving, learning how to drive wasn't a car. And if you're willing to have your kid drive the car, by the way, then you're willing to drive the car yourself. You're coping. You're a dumb, get rid of the truck and drive your car.

1:24:09You need the truck. You don't. I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Why? Because it's more comfortable and I can get through everything. Okay. And I started trail riding. I'm about to end the conversation because that's not a need. That's not a need. It's got a huge backseat. That's not That's not a need. So I can use it. That's not a need. As a casting couch for the daddy role.

1:24:33No, that's disgusting. Stop. It's got cooled seats too, which has been great down here. It's not a need. It's nice. It's a want. Get rid of it. You can't afford it. You can't even take care of your kids. You're pathetic. Student loans for what degree? $17 ,410. For all the degrees I never completed. What's your minimum? I haven't been paying on it. That's going to default. It's been in forbearance for forever. It's not anymore. For the save stuff? Yeah, no. Actually, that just kicked over this month. You didn't pick a new plan on the repayment assistance program? No. You're going to default in a few months.

1:25:08If you don't now, you need to go home. I have it on automatic payments. So once it has minimum payments, you did. No, I highly doubt it. Because you had to select a new plan. Save plans had to select a new plan. Okay, I guess I'll have to do that. Yeah, you need to do that for a day in the hotel. I'm going to put it at like 50 bucks because you can probably get it down to there. What is this? It was a spending account of some kind, but I don't know what. PayPal. Jesus, my goodness. You can't answer questions. It doesn't have a title. They're able to answer your questions for you because you suck.

1:25:35I sent them the stuff. You sent it, so you should know. I just can't remember what it is. You should know. They shouldn't know more about you than you do. I put the titles on everything when I sent it to them. McDonald's, McDonald's. Oh, f***. This is insane. What are we doing? This is your kids. This is your kids. McDonald's, McDonald's. McDonald's, Spotify, McDonald's, Domino's Microsoft, Microsoft, Netflix Microsoft, Domino's, Target Patreon, and yet you don't even take care of your f***ing kids They are taking care of They're taking care of Shut the f*** up

1:26:22Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies 18 plus. They're taken care of. Shut the fuck up. No, you. Okay, 3 ,000 in there. Oh, HBO Max, Amazon Prime, McDonald's, going in to get some bullshit, getting energy drinks. Of course you are, you dumb. I get donuts for my kids to bribe them to get up for school. Oh, she can't parent. She can't parent. She can't parent. Give up. Give up. You should try doing it. I will at some point, and I'll do a lot better than you. You think?

1:26:57Just like every other parent. You think you don't know what you're getting into. I have lots of shitty people on the show that are better parents than you. You're bribing your kids to get up. You're a bad parent. GPT, really? For f***ing what? What do you do? You don't do shit. Energy, or donuts, dominoes, donuts. Some subscription, I don't know. Donuts, Popeyes, bullshit, bullshit. Amazon, theaters, prime. McDonald's, bullshit. Venmo, Amazon. McDonald's bullshit photo TJ Maxx, Chick-fil-A. Oh, aesthetics and bullshit, bullshit. Fleet Farm bullshit, bullshit. Domino's bullshit, bullshit. Oh, donuts bullshit.

1:27:39Guadalajara in North Dakota. Yes, that's some good shit. Bullshit, bullshit, Spotify, donuts. Play some in-app game you're playing. Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Amazon, Amazon. Oh! We try payment of PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal, PayPal. $11 in savings up from two. That's not good. No, your life sucks, which means your kid's life sucks, which actually makes me feel bad because go. I mean, you can go for your life, whatever. I don't care. I started a long time. They don't get the consent. FSA,$2 ,200.

1:28:14It was bad from the beginning. Shut the fuck up. Okay, retirement, practically nothing, right? $3 ,000 in your pension. Wow. Incredible. Oh,$30 ,000. $30 ,000. $30 ,000. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. What are they called? 401k. Shh, shh, shh. Quiet now. Quiet now. Quiet now. We're almost done. Okay. Your income is$5 ,200. Your rent is$1 ,600, right? Mm-hmm. But it's actually$1 ,000. $544. $1 ,540 we'll put. your minimums, which we'll add that extra part to. Jesus Christ. It's actually more expensive than your rent. That's how pathetic you are. $1 ,648.13. What? What are you talking about? Your minimums in payments are more expensive than your rent, you dumb f***er.

1:28:59Oh. Yay! What's your... Oh. Just... Shut the f*** up. What's your... Utilities. Gas and electric and internet all combined in water and bullshit. So gas and electric is about 200 average. Water is like 90 and internet's 90. Expensive internet. 380. What's your phone bill?

1:29:3385. Not horrible. I'll do helium. If the towers are good in that area for like T-Mobile and stuff. I'm not just sure in Fargo but I would check it out. Gas from Drive Drive. a lot let's do a number 500 car insurance 140 food bill you should be able to do 700 meal plan meal prep TP fund anything else for you and the kids 250 medical healthcare co-pays a shit ton probably like 300 a month is there a gym no more pets right No. Try us$50 to subscriptions. We'll try. With kids, it might be difficult. Oh, and we're underwater. $5 ,643 to survive. Get rid of the car. Yeah, just sell it. Should I put that money on the truck?

1:30:28Or where should I put it? No, no, no. Sell the truck, sorry. Sell the truck. You're out of there. I don't care about your f***ing mobile. Then we need to tax that debt as quick as possible so you can at least break even. Once you do, because you're working just a shit ton of extra shifts, not traveling anywhere, not spending money, then you're paying off that extra 10 ,000 you'll owe on that, which will free about 350 bucks, which will get you to break even, which you'll still work hard. And then you start paying off that and it's going to be years. You can go through bankruptcy at some point.

1:30:57That might be your best option. I would certainly still get rid of the truck, get through bankruptcy, get that loan out of there and keep your car. It's going to fuck you for getting like future rent places. It's going to be harder. It's going to be more expensive to get in, but might be your only option now because you just don't make enough money you might need to leave and go to a place with more opportunity because what your position is actually make good money places obviously your kids need a better place anyway so this is a disaster those are the paths i would go down but none of it works if you don't change your behavior first and that starts by following this budget so don't do any of it without changing your behavior and following this budget for three months guys i'm gonna call this guy that she's stalking and going crazy on and I'm going to try my best and I'm going to get her to I'm going to get him to even know how crazy this is my goodness I got to save a brother out there I got to save a man I got to let's get her hammer financial score shut the f*** up spending in a budget you overspend 0 out of 10 death risk collection 0 out of 10 emergency fund there was nothing 0 out of 10 retirement that's at least something but it is$30 ,000 for someone who is 32 dramatically behind for your income it's about a 3 out of 10 real estate 0 out of 10 hammer financial score one out of ten get you to calebhammer.com now click join to join hammer elite for an extra 20 minutes of this episode called the ham financial auto post show where you get three premium shows every single day six days a week you can join here on youtube with that link in the description or by clicking the join button or you can watch in the hammer elite app or by going to hammer elite.com see you there hello hi can you hear me this is caleb how are you why are you calling for you're stressed i'm with your your little friend um how does she have my number.

1:32:33What? What does that mean? Don't act like that. I changed my number after we hung out. Are you serious? I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform so you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise.