He Exploited Pr*stitutes, Now He's F*cked | Financial Audit

22:39Yeah. No, I don't like to use the word fired. I don't like the word fired. Fired is a bad word. I never got fired actually. You know what happened? I did take some sick days because I needed a little excursion trip to Cabo, San Lucas. I'm not sure if you've heard about this. You could use a vacation, Caleb. I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, don't you have some sick days to build up? I mean, this is your company after all. I would have unlimited PTO if I was you. I mean, we could talk about that when we get hired. When I get hired, obviously. You will never be allowed to step foot in this building, I believe.

23:11We'll see about that. A great salesman knows how to change minds, people. Will someone please let Matt the security guard know? Alright, don't worry. I already paid Matt off. It was really easy. Let's be real. If your private student loans have your eye on a third job at the local taco stand, maybe it's time for a better plan. Why Refi is your lifesaver in a sea of debt. Unlike typical loan sharks who treat your credit score like a magical crystal ball, Why Refi cares if you actually want and can afford to repay. So forget about jumping through hoops and start jumping for joy at their under 6 % interest rates.

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24:53keep going let's see all right well you went to cabo yes and immediately after getting hired at a job yes i like cabo cabo is great that's not what we're talking about you actual oh you're pathetic are you proud of yourself i actually quite am you know how i in what world are you possibly proud of yourself. I would be so beyond embarrassed to exist in your skin.

25:24I don't know what to do with you. Are you sure? Let's get down to business, Caleb. I'm a businessman at heart. I've been trying. I'm talking about a job that you lost. We're going through your history. I need to get you into a job so you can pay rent. The reason I'm talking about your past work and where your money is going is because it's important to land you in a position where you might stay more than a couple of months without getting fired from every damn job you've ever been in in the history of your life because you are a joke of a human being and have not progressed past the age of five.

25:55You know, I progressed past the age of four, according to my CS. Not everything is a little joke. You would never even be considered for a job here. Are you sure about that, Caleb? Because I think I got the resume ready for you. I got the resume. You have a resume. I do. It's a great resume. Give it to me. I mean, we'll have to send it to you on Gmail. Give it to me. You have a phone, you actual dumb human. All right, I'll send you this. Pull out your phone, you f***. Buddy. Look how far we're going. I don't know how you exist. I don't know how you exist. They don't call me Rico Suave for nothing.

26:33They don't call you that at all. We assigned you that name when you walked in. You're a moron. I'm going to put the subject as your best hire And then we're going to look back if this is a fond memory I'm looking on your phone You are not sending me an email Because I'm not giving you my email address We'll use it for other purposes Give me your phone Pull it off No, your resume What are we talking about? I was sending it to you Shut up, you're never getting my contact I never want to interact with you Again after this We'll talk about it. Don't worry. We will not. You know, this will not be discussed.

27:12You don't know that. You don't know. I do. I have control of my life. Let's look at my resume. Here we go. You're going to like this one. Ready for that? Look how good that looks. What the fuck? No, do you have like an actual like PDF? Let me look. A PDF. Yes. That's a word document or something. He showed me. He just gave me his Indeed profile.

27:38There we go. How's that look? Wait, I got two different resumes, so that's one of them. Give me your preferred one. This one probably is the real one, but let me see here. Yeah, this one works. Let's do this one. All right, there you go. Feast your eyes and fantasize, Caleb. That's my resume. Immediately with the page and the half, just like everyone on Financial Autohistory. You only need a page and a half. Shut the fuck up. It's not the worst template. It's basic. It's easy. I like that. Says that you're still working in your last job. We know you're not. That's a work in progress. I like to refer that as a template in the business I work in, a.k.a.

28:26life. People like this actually exist in the world, people. This is what we're dealing with. This is the collapse of our civilization before our eyes. Oh, it was at Tesla. Tesla, yes. You got fired from Tesla. I prefer the term let go. Let go. Utilizing effective communication skills to coordinate the timely delivery and organization of materials supporting. Oh, this is such fluff. Such a word. My goodness, people do not know how to make resumes. You're going to be my boss anyways. I don't even know what you did there. I mean, I was doing material handling. I was moving stuff. Flexing around. Looking good.

29:05Well, I don't think you utilized effective communication skills to coordinate the timely delivery and organization of materials supporting efficient production of Tesla's vehicles and energy products. That is one bullet of three bullets on this, buddy. It's such bull. I would immediately click off and be like, what the am I dealing with? Press operator, February 2024 to October 2024. Full Scaramucci here. What are you doing? I was working. I was making pharmaceutical tablets. Why is it press? Oh, you were... Okay. Pressing, yes. And I don't mean to press you there, Caleb. We were making like testosterone gel and stuff.

29:46They were making some pretty cool stuff there. Explains why I got all these muscles. Buddy, you look like a twink. You're just a little tall. Maybe you could use a little testosterone gel or something. I don't know. Maybe. lead machine operator. You were at that one for a while. How many of these did you get let go from? Well, those are just part... Honestly, there's another resume I have and I've gotten fired for probably three or four jobs in Austin already. But I'm telling you... That would not get you hired from a job. Yeah. You know what's funny? Lindsey, you all know Lindsey in the post show for those who are subscribed.

30:28One of the producers here. I had a nice long conversation with this guy before She came to me before we filmed As he was like spreading chlamydia All over my bathroom walls And he She told me This guy legitimately thinks he is going to impress you And get a job here Before he leaves He actually thinks this This human being Light use of that term Actually thinks he was going to walk away with a job here And he's talking about all these firing things You're a pharmacy tech at some point? That scares the f*** out of me. I mean, I was counting as much as I could over there. I don't know how you've survived this far.

31:06I really don't. I think the job just comes down to looks. Nope, it doesn't. No one would see you when you work here. Other than the co-workers. Imagine people saw my face and I had a sign that said... Our sales job, no one will see your face. Why not? They gotta see the face. No, they wouldn't. If you don't see the face, I mean, what are we doing? Oh, buddy. Oh, you're actually... Buddy, I gotta teach you some things. I mean, this should be called financial. Yeah, so let's go over the person. Let's compete between the person with$10 and the one with$500 in his 401k. $500? You know, after 30 years, that's going to be like, what is it, $2 million or something?

31:45I mean, that money is there to stay. That was going to spend take on me. That's money to stay. Oh, my. Okay, okay. Oh, my gosh. Let's move on, please.

31:59I'm just reading the notes because it's impossible to stay on track with you, but they're telling me. They're telling you. From the conversation, yes. Who's they? Literally the producers right next to you. Oh, are you stupid? Oh, I see. Okay. I was like, who's talking to you? I mean, like, this is the first time we met. And I'm just like, hey, what's up? My magician. He knows you. Hey, Pookie. A Memorial Day sale is happening right now, and it's your shot to grab some of the tools you need to own your financial future. Yeah! And for 10 short days, May 23rd through midnight on June 2nd, every single one of our classes is discounted.

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33:17See you in the classes. They said that you're interested in enjoying Scientology or Mormonism I thought about it actually So if you look at Tom Cruise for example And all the crazy stuff he'd done I think that's the way you get in You have to be adrenaline You gotta be after it And that you're also But you stopped and you abandoned that Instead to In quote from you Chase MILF slightly Oh yeah That's it Right there Mamacitas favacitas That's what I like to say It's my favorite word these days. That was multiple words, wasn't it? It was multiple words, but I like to conjoin it. It's called a compound word, Caleb.

33:55I know you dropped out of college, but that's something that they like to say, compound word. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Now, before we move on, before we move on, I do want to press one more time before we get into these documents. Because what the fuck? Let's see it. I want you to admit what we already know What's that? That you spend money to f*** women You buy women's vaginas I'll tell you this, Caleb Can you admit to it because you admitted to it before And you're nervous about being on camera now I'll tell you this, Caleb Why don't you just admit that you buy sex? I'll tell you this, Caleb I'll tell you this When these women meet me And they talk to me and they get to know me They love me They get to see who I am as a person.

34:48It's perspective process. They don't judge me on my resume. Hey, can you confirm their perspective process? Let's just call them that. Like potential process. I would call them. Potential process. I'm not even saying process. They're not process. But the potential process. You could call them. That's where their mind is originally, and you're saying you convert them. Why do you like to call them process so much? Are you under the... Okay, sex workers. Sex workers. What term do you want to use? Mamacitas.

35:14Suavecitas Again with the compound word Lindsey how much does he spend on prostitution? Because I'm not going to get an answer from him What do we have? From our knowledge how many prostitutes does he get? That's a Jake question That's a Jake What are we spending on prostitution? It looks like he wants to find out Shut the f*** up you're incapable of answering a question You're no longer involved in this conversation It's hard to tell But last guess probably Okay, so we're getting a lease in the last month that you spent$400 for sex once. I mean, I'm taking them on dates. In a month. We know you're paying for sex.

35:50Escorters, escorts, escorters. That's the word. You use the escort services. Correct? Can you confirm? I can't confirm nor deny that information, but I can say we had a great time. And she walked away with money.

36:13hold that laugh okay oh boy buddy where do you i'm not gonna ask your hammer financial score if you want the the quiz to assess where your finances are go to calebhammer.com and you can come on the show by going to calebhammer.com slash apply all the links are in the description and if you don't want to end up like a guest on this show all you have to do is download the burlington coat event is back buy a coat now through november 29th and get five dollars off your merchandise purchase of 25 or more from December 6th through December 24th. Plus, Burlington is donating 50 ,000 new coats to help those in need nationwide through our partnership with Delivering Good.

36:48We've been keeping you warm for over 50 years. We'll see you at our coat event. Burlington. Deals. Brands. Wow. Visit burlington.com slash coats for details. My budgeting app. And remember, those who sign up for the annual version, get my budget-friendly cookbook signed by me, mailed directly to you. Check it out. all the links in the description below. Oh, you're a chef now. We made a budget-friendly cookbook because people asked how to stick to a budget on$300 a month for food, so we put it together. What's your favorite recipe? From the cookbook? Yeah. I like the overnight oats, personally.

37:21That is my breakfast in the morning. It's very simple, and it's cost-effective. It is nice, and that is what I eat every morning. You put a little protein powder in there? I, well, no. Why not? You got to get the muscles, the muscles. How's Arnold Schwarzenegger say it? You don't, you're fit, but you don't look muscular. I mean, I haven't taken off the jacket yet. Please don't. Let's talk about your Delta Sky Miles gold card. All right. Let's take a look. What's going on there? By the way, even with the month we're looking at your last month where you made your full income. Yeah. Yeah. You still spent more than you made.

37:53I did? Oh, my gosh. Well, there has to be a sign. It's math. It has to be what? You got to spend money to make money. Yeah, but you're spending more than you make. You got to spend money to make money. And now this month you're making zero. Don't you spend money to make money? Yes, I properly invest correctly into employees that generate good returns to the business and I invest money into the market or into real estate and it makes money and I've been very successful and blessed. Great, wonderful, I've been smart about it. You're a moron. I mean, going back to that. Hey, you have$50? I think so.

38:31Yes, you have$50 and your, sorry,$500. $400 for 401k and your net worth is negative$14 ,000. Negative$14 ,000. That's not bad. 14 is actually my lucky number. I think$14 ,000 is really not that bad, Caleb. I mean, if you look at it. But it's negative. Negative what? In terms of what? Net worth. Your worth. Why does that matter? You're talking about being rich and successful. Your net worth is what you calculate for wealth success. I mean, you could calculate worth by multiple things. I look at myself as a worth. We're talking financial worth. Not like self-worth? No, you're talking about being rich and successful.

39:12Obviously, yeah. Your net worth is how you calculate that. Oh, okay. Your net worth is negative 14 ,000. Did you not know this? No. Are we starting from scratch here? A little bit, yeah. Like basic, bare, middle school, minimum? Yeah. I mean, I always look in the mirror first. I never look down. I always look at the mirror. I always look ahead is what they say. I think you should try that.

39:38Oh, for f***s sake.

39:43$8 ,055. Do you know your parents? I think so, yeah. I know them. What kind of answer is that? Can you just answer the question? Do you know your parents? Yes. Are they embarrassed by your existence? Do they talk to you? They do briefly. It's a quick conversation. Yeah? How does it usually go, guy? It's usually like, hey, where's the monthly payment? and I'll tell them. What? Monthly payment? Why would they be asking for Oh buddy Oh my f***. What a joke What a joke. What's happening Being the youngest is not the easiest sometimes. You're the youngest Don't you got siblings? I'm the oldest and yes I do.

40:21You definitely look like the oldest Yes because I'm 30 You're 30? Yes Okay. Okay. Alright. That's fine Okay. I just wanted to know Alright. Well being the youngest is not the easiest, Caleb. I'll tell you that, man. Isn't it considered objectively the easiest? What, have you been watching Instagram? No, man. Being the youngest is the hardest. I'm the man of the family there, Caleb. I got all this pressure on me to be the best. I got to worry about this. I got to worry about making payments. I got to worry about all this stuff. But you also have an identical fucking twin, so I don't know what the youngest thing you're talking about is.

40:56I'm better. I'm the better. But that doesn't... It negates this whole little wah-wah-wah crybaby. It's like a copy and paste laugh. A copy and paste laugh? You laugh and look to the side. I've never seen you laugh. When do you laugh? Maybe if you say something funny. When do you laugh? When someone says something funny. Like your Tinder profile? I don't have a Tinder profile. That makes sense. Did you get banned? No. Well, temporarily, actually. You got banned temporarily? It got reversed. It was some dumb. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. But I'm not on them anymore because I'm... Banned.

41:33Not banned. That was reversed. Okay, that's right. But because I have a more long-term thing. Long-term thing. Long-term thing that I'm not paying for. Oh, okay. I see. Oh, but you're probably still using, like, you know, those, like, Christian mango, what are you on? Farmers only? I just said I have a long-term thing. Are you... What did you mean by long-term thing? I'm seeing someone. Oh, really? Yes. Like a therapist?

42:04$8 ,055.49 on Delta SkyMiles Gold card with$270 a month and 61 cents for your minimum monthly payment. I don't know how the f*** you're even going to come close to paying for that. New charge is$795.66, probably because you just don't have money. You don't have money, so you have to charge to the credit card. It's above the credit card limit. You don't care about the credit card limit. You only care about the interest limit. That's what I care about. Interest limit? Interest limit. That's not a term. It's market research. Look it up. What? You're telling me you don't know nothing about this? I thought you were the financial guru.

42:39Okay. Please educate me. I want to hear this. Educate me on the market research. The market research says you get a credit card that has a 0 % APR. And once that baby gets maxed out or did get maxed out, you find ways to pay it off. You do a transfer balance. In the business, we call that a balance transfer. It's okay for this to be maxed out as long as there's zero interest. I think it expired. Yes, I was going to say interest is accruing. Yeah, I mean, when did that happen? You pathetic excuse of a man. When did that happen? I don't know. You should know. These are your accounts. $190.21 of interest is accruing.

43:17Jesus. That's a lot. I better get this job. What job? Your job. The job you're hiring for. I mean.

43:31I like your shirt, by the way. Shut up. You know what's funny is that I feel like you look at me like that cactus.

43:41You think so? I mean, I could use a little hair and makeup, but I mean, that's okay.

43:50Your entire market research, as you said, suggests that this is okay as long as it's a 0%, but it's not. and you're above the credit card limit, which means when fees start accruing, how long does this take to pay off if you do not purchase on it and you only put your minimum payment towards it? Oh, God. Which you're incapable of not purchasing on it. I mean, if we're using dog years. How long in human years? Human years? Well, that guy's still trying to live forever. How long? I'm trying to think two days, three days tops. Because once I get that job, you're going to see how well I can sell. No, you're not listening to my question.

44:23My question was, if you only put Minimum monthly payments towards it and you did not Purchase on it, how long does it take to pay off? Not if you get a job and put a lump sum down Which by the way, you don't all of a sudden get $8 ,000 60 years? 6 years It takes 20 years, so you'll be 43 And still a joke You're pretty good looking though at least Can you say the same thing about yourself? I don't know, I'm okay Alright I'm just asking I mean, sometimes people have a little confidence issue. And sometimes I like to. I'm okay, again. I do personal training on the side. So if you need somebody. No, I wouldn't trust you to train a single thing.

45:03I could be the in-office trainer, Caleb. No. I get a little Pilates studio in here. No. I get like, everyone, arms up. Let's go. You bring in fucking prostitutes and fuck them in our bathroom. One, two, three, four, five. And she actually says the same thing too. One, two, three, four, five. Who the prostitutes? Moving on. I could be that personal trainer For the team The best team We would be winning We already are winning Yeah, I'm here already We keep A players, we get rid of B players We win Yeah, you're an E player E for everybody For fuck's sake, man The fact that The fact that you are This is you As a genuine human You are never going to make it anywhere in life You are not You are an actual, I need you to know that you are a joke.

45:53Not as an insult, but as a hopeful revelation to you're not cute in terms of your personality. You are not successful. You are not respected. No one looks upon you and says, wow, that is someone I aspire to be. Listen, the comments are probably tearing you apart. And typically I would say don't. Yeah. And typically I would tell you not to look at the comments. I think you should look at the comments and use them as a wake up call. You are an actual joke and you put yourself up here and I need you to realize that you are rock bottom of humanity so that you can hopefully wake yourself up. I'll tell you what.

46:29The comment section, people are going to want to laugh at you first before they laugh at themselves. And what I say to you, Caleb, is that I hope that comment section tears you up as well because we're going down together, baby. We're in this together. Batman and Robin. What are they tearing me down for? Batman and Robin. What are they tearing me down for? I don't know. I mean, we're Batman and Robin. but we're on this together, aren't we? Are we not in this together, kiddo? I thought you were my Titanic here, man. I thought you were there. I thought you were going to be also the Rico Suave. I'm happy to support you and give you the resources and give you a budget and give you what I would personally do to get out of this situation.

47:07But I think you're so far gone as an existing human on this planet that I don't know what to do. Your personality is broken. Are you serious? You're going to want to see me working at McDonald's Handing french fries I want to see you pay bills Why do you look down upon them Who the fuck are you to look down upon people No one you're making ends meet Ends meet for what The french fry bag From the fries to the bag Who are you to look down upon them What a disgusting human you are I mean what about you You look like you probably go there fucking everyday I love McDonald's I'm a fat fucker I don't look down upon workers I don't look down upon someone who's going out and grinding to put food on the table for their family.

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50:36That is code 50hammer at factor75.com to get 50 % off plus free shipping on your first box. Click the link below. Treat yourself to food that doesn't taste like sadness. And now that I'm all fed, let's get back to the video. I have no idea what you're talking about. No, I don't. I don't look down upon people going out to put food on their table for their family. I don't, but I just don't want that type of job, Caleb. I mean, that's not a fun job. Don't want that? It might not be a choice. I got other types though, man. Yeah, and you're converting it into$0. Fries in the bag? We'll wait until$40 if I get there, and then I'll start saying that.

51:10I don't think you will. You're going to be f***ing overdosed under a bridge. I mean, at least I'll have you there with me, right? No. Do you do d***s? No, I don't do d***s. Well, we know you do that on your old company's credit card. Medicinal. You went in, you got some BS from the gas station. Went in, got some BS. Oh, my f***. What are you stopping in and getting the gas station for a few bucks? What are you getting? I mean, I get some booze. I drink a six-pack, but I... Booze. Booze. Yes. Car wash, which we can also really no need. Locos Sports. Locos Sports. Oh, my God. That's the best place on the planet, dude.

51:48It's like Hooters, but like Mexican. It is the best place on the planet. That's where the mamacitas are. If you go there, oh, my God, dude. Hooters should have just rebranded to Hooters de Loca because this is the beautiful place to go. All right. Shringelon knew something. Shangri - Shangri - Oh, man. A restaurant. Head Shop on Wheels. Halal Zone. Halal Zone. That's right. Booze and Firehouse Lounge. Firehouse Lounge. The Austin Shaker. Friends Bar. Kung Fu Salon. Kung Fu Saloon. That's what I remember. I remember that place. Beautiful place. A lot of karate going on there. Booze and booze. Pete Terry's.

52:34This is on a credit card. Yeah, I feel like you like Pete Terry's. You like Pete Terry's? Pete Terry's is fine. You like it? What's better? Pete Terry's? McDonald's? What's your choice? Best hamburger in the world? Three, two, one. Well, Pete Terry's probably has a better hamburger, but I do like the taste of McDonald's. McDonald's is okay. I mean, I don't like - I mean, it's like a creation. It's like a science, right? Yeah. The Cavalier - Cavalier. They got some good beef tallow fries. That's the only way I go there. Lift, DoorDash, Hawaii, and A-B. I thought that was supposed to be in the company credit card.

53:02Lift, lift, lift. Was that supposed to be in the company credit card? The Hawaiian? Booze. Booze. Vietnamese restaurant. Halal shop. Firehouse lounge. Rope Polo's pizzeria. Taco Bell. Halal shop. Axon Mobile. Uber Trip. Tacos Regos. El Vapor. Dama Botanicals. Symposium Industries. I don't even know. Botanicals. Oh, that's f***ing yum. T-H-C-A-M Medicinal Amazon, Kateen Vending Amazon, Sunco Get Well, that's booze and liquor Vending Machine, Vending And Prime Video Channels Very good! At least it's Prime Video Channels Prime Video Channels Shut the fuck up. Interest$190 Charge And that's happened twice This year so far, so interest probably ended a couple Months ago.

53:56And it's at 29 % interest 29 % man I'm getting I'm kind of getting reams in the back end there if you know what I mean do you pay for that too? no you do actually I like how everything I say to him it's like no you that's that's your mental capacity I'm rubber you're glue everything bounces off to me and sticks to you you know what they say Caleb point one finger at me is five back at yourself. That's what they say, Caleb. But that doesn't mean I don't want a job. What? They say you're looking to move to Mexico maybe? Yeah. Can you even speak Spanish? I don't mind my way around. I know a little bit.

54:45I know a little mamacita suavecita, una cerveza, a little, you know. I got enough looks as it is. You don't need to speak Spanish.

54:57I don't know what you said But where's something I don't know what to tell you You're going to need that one there What's that? Where do all the cougars congregate? Oh seriously? I'm going to keep that one That's good to know I know that one too Do you know Spanish Caleb? You look like you're Hispanic 25 % native What tribe? I don't know Is it the angry tribe?

55:26I might struggle with this one, but No tengo dinero para el aquileur Shut up. I already know what that means. Puedo pagarte el dobro el próximo mes Oh, yeah. I already know what that means. Yeah. What does it mean? You're going to have to say it a lot. Yeah. It means... Yeah, because you've said it many times in your life, right? It means, hey, where are the beautiful girls to hook up with? I don't know word for word, but I know exactly what you said. You're not using your fake name, and no, it's I don't have money for rent. Can I pay you double next month instead? Oh, that's what I meant? Oh, that's good.

56:00I thought it meant something else, to be honest. Well, Spanish comes with time, Caleb, and you know this. I mean, first grade wasn't taught in a year. It took two years, okay?

56:18I don't know what that means. Do you know any Spanish? And you're actually going to move to Mexico? I know a bit of Spanish. That's where I can find the payday loan. Where can I find the payday loan? I mean, I know a bit of Spanish. It's always been in my heart. I love Spanish music. I love Spanish women, especially the mamacitas. Is it pay for? Yes, you've said that like 10 times. My goodness, you're a f***ing... Mexico is great. You know how expensive it is to be in America now? It's ridiculous. Yes, but that's also why our incomes are higher. I mean, yeah. I mean, incomes are higher, but so is the work time.

56:52I mean, how often are you working? Yeah, we work a lot. I work a lot. You do? How many hours? 60 hours? I don't count my hours. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast? Smart move. Being financially savvy? Smart move. Another smart move? Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings And eligibility vary by state Wouldn't it be easier to have someone take a little load off you, Caleb?

57:29We are hiring out our managers And the funny thing is you'll actually have to pay for that load to be taken off you If you know what I mean That's why we pay our managers That's why you'll pay me to come work for you instead, Caleb I'm gonna f***ing s*** Before you leave this building Buddy, normally I'd offer a course career certification I just don't think you'd make it through it Our course careers, what are we talking? Architecture? Are we talking sales? What are we doing? There is tech sales in there. Tech sales. I could sell some. $1 ,045.93. Damn. On this blue Cash Everyday card with$41.91 for the minimum fee payment.

58:06$156 purchases. Shocker. Over the credit card limit. Extra shocker. Who would have thought? Three years to pay off. Minimum only. Jesus. Uh-huh. What is going on with this card? What card? The blue one? Oh. I can't surprise my color. What are you doing to me? Yes, it is blue cash every day. Oh, the blue cash every day. I mean, that's like the booze, the budget, the essentials. No, that was on the last card. That was also incorporated in the budget, Caleb. I mean, I'm telling you. You spent more than you made. You don't know what budget is. You've never heard the word budget in your life. You got to spend money to make money.

58:45Yeah, what money are you making? You're just getting booze liquor restaurants. I mean, I got some stuff on the side. How about you tell me? Tell me. Okay, well, I got a friend that's, you know, I got fired from my job last week or whatever. Yes, we know. I know. I actually found someone that does very similar business. What business? I'm going to be an Airbnb manager. That's right. You're looking at him. No one's going to trust you for that. They're not going to see my face. They're going to see the building. And you have a friend. Yeah, I have a friend. Cool. Call him right now. I'll call him.

59:13I'll call him. Call him right now and ask if he's seriously considering you for the job. 100 % honest. Put him on the speakerphone. Put the mic to here. Let's do it. I'll call him right now. Because I wouldn't even come close. Maybe we'll conduct a formal job interview in the post show. You'll like me. I promise you that. This guy likes me. You are literally the opposite. He's from the Dominican. Speaker phone right here. Speaker phone right here. Put the mic here. Oh, hey. The bottom of the phone. Hey, what's up, dude? Yo, so you're going to consider me actually hiring for the job, right? Airbnb job, right?

59:49Well, I'm going to connect you to the owner. They're looking for somebody because the current manager lives in College Station. So he needs somebody. He does. Does he need someone this week, right? I don't know. All I'm going to be able to do is just connect you with him and then you speak in whatever terms. Yeah, you tell him. I get to. You tell him I'm the best. I'm the most on time. I'm the most responsible. Tell him I'm going to get everything figured out. Can I ask why are you considering me by chance? Why do you want to consider me?

1:00:26How much are you going to pay me, by the way? I'm not paying you again. He's the one that's working with you. So what it is, remember how I get paid a percentage of what it is? Do you know how much that if you can guess? Sorry, that's something that you have to speak to him. Negotiate about. And tell him, hey, 10 % or something like that. 10%. How many hours do you think that 10 % gets me? Dude, you probably won't be working much. You know, once you got a system automated and, you know, you probably at most 20 hours a month. 20 hours a month? Will I be able to pay rent? Yeah, like I said, once you have a system in place, like you're calling the housekeeper, you know who to call if something breaks, you really won't be doing much.

1:01:10Can I, sorry to cut you off again. Quick question. Do you know, because I'm worried about paying rent, obviously, Do you know if I'm about to do this? Is this also a side gig you'd consider? Is this enough to make money on? To live on? Also, both houses, you'll make maybe$500 each. $400 to$500 each, but that's monthly. It's like a little side hustle. If you had a job and also this, you'll make enough. Okay, so you're saying there's enough money to make. Okay, I like to sound that. I like that. I like to sound that. All right, I'll talk to you later, okay? Well, send my phone number for me and make sure you give him a headshot too of me, okay?

1:01:48I want him to know I look good. Yeah, I don't think he cares about that. He cares more if you could, like, you know, solve problems. You never know. You never know he's gay or not, you know? Let's he know you've been fired from four jobs. You know, and then he doesn't care, though, I got fired from the last, like, the last company, right? Because I got fired. He doesn't care? Up above? Yeah, I got fired. Oh, wow. I bought chicken nuggets the other day, and they, like, were, like, fear and mad about that. On the company card. On the company card. They were mad about that. I tried to refund it, but...

1:02:20You're messy. Dude, I'm not even joking with you, man. And I got... I was like, you know, I wanted some Chick-fil-A. And they... Dude, they were mad. I don't know what to say to that. You've been fired from other jobs, too. I know. I got fired from a couple other jobs, too. So I want to make sure... This is the thing. It's not... This is not a job. You can't see it as a job, right? This is more like a side business. Like, you know, some extra money. It's not like a job. It's no application. I mean, I'm telling you, man, I can make this work. I can make this. We're going to conquer Austin. We're going to become the high rises.

1:02:52We're going to become the buildings. We're going to take over the industry, man. I mean, we're going to have to do a little name change, but we're going to become the best. We're going to conquer. I really hope you, like, you know, start your own stuff. Dude, I'm telling you, man, I'm ready for this. We're going to conquer the Southwest, baby. They're going to call us the Southwest whatever. You know, we got this. I'll talk to you later. All right. See you later, homes.

1:03:20Okay Okay How long are you going to last in this job? Dude I am fierce So it sounds like you can only make a thousand dollars a month I mean a thousand bucks is better than nothing What's your rent? Twelve hundred bucks I mean this is where you come into play Caleb And what's the name change going to be? You know oh Southwest Tweety's I like the selling of that Southwest Tweety's sideways tweeties get just getting cleaners getting cleaners i'm i'm coordinating man i'm i'm telling you i'm i'm built for this i coordinate with the housekeeping you know i get practice my spanish you know i get to coordinate with the guests you know i'm just gonna be on this they're gonna see my face they're gonna see everything they love about me and i'm gonna see myself too obviously how's that sound caleb look i'm hire sounds like uh you won't last long i'm very hireable, Caleb.

1:04:08Uber, Uber, Uber. Don't drunk drive. Texas tag, the tolls. I'm not paying tolls ever again. It's a 0 % interest until you're never paying tolls again. Never. Never. It's a waste of time. I thought this was the free state. It's going to fuck your credit, though. They'll put it to collections. Free state. You have the freedom to choose if you get on the toll road state. I mean, can't you just cover your license plate? Yeah, and get prosecuted, yes. Oh, prosecuted. I don't like to sound prosecuted. I like the other word that sounds close to it, but we don't have to talk about that. We know that. We don't have to talk about that.

1:04:43Yeah, the credit, it's literally the interest rate period on this card that is over the balance or the limit is ending in about four months. Oh, four months? Yep, four months. Well, guess how much money I'm going to have by then? Zero. $4 ,000. I'll be able to pay off that credit card. How will you have$4 ,000? Because of the Airbnb job, man. You make$1 ,000 a month, but you have to pay for rent and food and utilities and your bills and your minimum payments. Well, that's if I don't get evicted. If I get evicted, though, I mean, I don't have to pay rent. What's your living situation going to be if you're evicted, though?

1:05:17Going to live in your car? I mean, I might have to come here to Hammer Studios. No, no, no. No? Nope, nope. I mean, you guys got a huge area here, you know? I mean, don't you know the homeless people out here, Caleb? I thought you were telling me all about the workers saying I don't care about them. You don't care about the homeless. I mean, I'm not going to say homeless. but I don't think... Take refuge here. I don't think that's the best use of our... I'll clean up. I'll take a shower. They have a shower here, by the way. Yes, I know. We have a shower in my office. Yeah, I got some cologne you can use, too.

1:05:45You could use a little cologne, but... Do I stink? Do you like Armani? No, I have Tom Ford on right now. Tom Ford. Yeah, it smells quite nice. I mean, Tom Ford's okay, but you gotta get a younger brand, you know? Tom Ford... I like the smell of the specific one I've picked. You did? Where do you go? Scentbird, or where do you go? I don't remember where I got it from, but now I just ordered it online. Okay, I see. Well, what happens if you had someone do that for you, Caleb? It sounds like a waste of money. Oh my, how do I get sucked into that? How have you sucked me into that conversation? I'm not going down your rabbit holes.

1:06:18Capital One. Capital Uno, that's right. See, I'm practicing. I'm learning. Oh, you learned one.

1:06:25Well, okay. Is this usually paid off? Because the balance is like nothing. Well, actually, you won't be able to pay it off. No. So it's a$29,$25 minimum payment. But you won't be able to pay this off because you don't make money right now, which typically we do. Typically, that's illegal. We don't allow people to come on the show if they don't make money, but you got fired in between the process of accepting you on the job and coming on. But you just saw there, Caleb, that I was about, I got a job, Caleb. Right on the air, I got a job, Caleb. He said it's not a job. I like to switch terms around, Caleb.

1:07:06I'm sure. I'm exclusive that way. He purchased$326 on this card. $326? Again, it's booze and bullshit. Booze and bullshit. DoorDash, Prime Video, Popeyes, P. Terry's, Torchy's, Bat City Pies, Uber Trip, Amazon. You're spending all your money that you do not have. And you're spending money to make money. You don't invest in anything business related. You don't invest in anything self-help related, any education, any kind of resources. You just invest in booze, food. I mean, you do too, right? I can afford it. I put it in a budget and I don't get booze or but I do get food. You put it on a credit card though, right?

1:07:44And pay it off every single month. You have balances on these cards and you also don't have an income. I do. Okay. Well, look at this this way, Caleb. Credit cards are a way to hold your money just like a bank account. No. I'm going to allow you to try to explain this. Sure. Go ahead. If I kind of get something to eat, for example, the Bat City Pies, I'm just holding my money into that credit card. That doesn't make sense. How are you holding your money on that card? It's holding it. Explain how that makes sense. Please explain the logic. Instead of spending the$32 for pizza, I'm putting it on a plastic credit card.

1:08:19I'm holding it there. But you don't even have that money on your checking account. I'm holding it there. But you don't even have that money on your checking account to spend. That frees me up. No, no, no. You didn't have the option to spend that in your checking account because you didn't have the money there. Why does that matter? because it's not a hold. You're not holding money from your checking account by putting on a credit card and said you didn't have the money in the checking account. It's holding something. I'll tell you that. No, it's not holding. There's no money there that's being held.

1:08:40Hell. Oh, the pizza's being held. That's what you're saying. Huh? The pizza? Because I ordered the pizza and I holded it on a credit card. You are draining my mental energy way too early in here. Okay, let's see. I mean, I'll tell you what. If I had other places to hold the pizza, I would. Okay. Maybe you can hold me a pizza. I'm reading a weird note right now. I'm reading a weird, weird note. They said your 401k was$16 ,000, but I see in the notes it's$500 right now. Oh. Did you cash out your 401k? When? There's nothing to show for it. There's no savings anywhere. There's no money anywhere. Market downturn.

1:09:17Market downturn and tax return. So you sold when it went low? I got my taxes. Big taxes. What? What? Tell me. Anything. Tell me anything, you fucking moron. Please tell me anything that makes sense. Okay, let me try to be coherent for this, Caleb. All right. So I was living in Phoenix, and I was doing super well in that city. So I moved back. And when I moved back, tax return came. I owed$4 ,000. It's not a tax return, but yes. Oh, yeah. $4 ,000 because you were doing a lot of contracting work, and you didn't. And I got fired from a couple jobs in Phoenix, too. I mean, I'm just on a big roll here.

1:09:57You don't think you have to pay taxes? Nobody does. I mean, why do we have to anyways? I thought this was a free country. I mean, anyone else think like that too? I mean, you got to pay taxes? I don't know. The Supreme Court and like the, I think it was the 30s said that income, or 20s said that the income tax is constitutional. We got to revisit that. I mean, I don't really agree with that. Well, no one likes taxes. Yeah, nobody does, especially this guy, or this guy, you know, Batman and Raven. Yeah, I'm sure I pay a lot more on taxes than you, but. Yeah? Well, because I actually pay mine. But either way,$4 ,000, it's like 30 % call.

1:10:31I mean, you still barely made any money probably. But yes, I'm sure you had just contracting roles just like you're doing with this job. And you didn't set anything cited for taxes. When you're just a standard 9 to 5 whatever job in your W-2, that stuff is withheld for you so you don't have to worry about it. But when it comes to these contract jobs where you're your own business, you have to do that for yourself instead. Really? Oh, my gosh. I was under the assumption that you can just hold all your money to yourself. And going back to the holding term, I like that term a lot. Yes, you can, but then you have to pay the taxes.

1:11:05I mean, why? Quarterly or annually. Well, can't you? Because you owe them. I mean, I could deduct it. What would you be deducting? My drive here. It wasn't for business. I'm on a business mission right now, Caleb. I'm on business right now. Business, business, business. Please look into this guy. I'm calling it right here. I know you're in the comments. Oh, man. Who do you think is winning right now, me or him? I think me, based on looks. In what? Looks, you know? But winning what? We both have the same shirt, though. I like the shirt. You got a good color there. The cactus is... We're not in a competition for anything.

1:11:39What are you winning? I thought this was like a... I don't know. I don't know. I thought we were... I don't know. I'm just saying I'm the better looking one. Okay, yes. You're more fit. Thank you. For sure. You're good looking, too. And you're younger. Thank you. Well, yeah. I mean, I'm certainly not ugly, but I definitely could lose weight. That's for sure. I can help you with that. I just don't want to interact with you. So no. I'll tell you what. Imagine me running behind you, telling you all about my financial problems. You could probably run four or five miles a day. They're telling me you pitched them on an idea where I have a competition for who pays off their debt the best.

1:12:17I don't know what the best means, and the reward is a vacation. I assume you want to compete in that. Yes, yes. But what does being paid off the debt the best mean? Oh, my God. Here's the idea. It's almost like a game show. All of the people on Financial Audit, whoever can sign up and commit to paying off the debt, whoever comes out on top, gets to go to Cabo for free. The rest of them do that on their own because they're adults. All inclusive. And I get to select the location, of course, because I'm going to win. Is that where your favorite prostitutes are? I don't know. I've never been to Cabo.

1:12:46You haven't been there? No. You got to check it out. It's quite fun, to be honest. I'm not really a drinker like you, though. That's not my lifestyle. You don't like that? I mean, I'm telling you, you got to be free-spirited, Caleb. You got to let go a little bit. No, it's not my vibe. I have an addictive personality, so I know not to really get into that. What does addictive personality mean? I fall into habits and addictions very easily. So you're a mid and you're a d*** user. No, I specifically stay away. Caleb, as soon as I walked in the building there, I saw your eyes. You looked out of it.

1:13:12I was concerned. I'm tired. I am tired today. You're tired. Okay. Yes, I didn't sleep very well. I'm just going to jot that down. Okay. Well, what? To see if I get the job?

1:13:27So, I still don't know what paying off the debt the best is yet. Okay. Get down back to business. All right. You wrote a parable for the application. A parable. For your application, for your job application. This is my favorite. I'm allowing you to actually do this. And yes, I have to say once again, this is 100 % real. 100 % real. All right. And it blows my mind. And go ahead. I haven't heard this, but it just blows my mind that you are an actual human that exists like this and you think it's a good thing. Okay. Once upon a time in a cozy village nestled between whispering woods and sugar-dusted hills, there lived a curious little boy named Luigi.

1:14:08Luigi had a wild imagination, a big heart, and an even bigger craving for cookies. One sunny afternoon, Luigi wandered into the village bakery. The scent of warm cinnamon, melting chocolate, and buttery dough swirled through the air like a spell. His eyes sparkled at the sight of the golden cookies stacked high behind the glass. But when he reached into his pocket, oh no, he did not have enough coins to even buy one. He ran to his mother with hopeful eyes and asked gently, Mama, may I have some coins for the cookies? She smiled and said, Not today, my love. Just as Luigi turned away with a heavy heart, a man appeared in a coat made of patchwork belt and shoes that twinkled like stars.

1:14:51I saw what happened, the man said kindly. I'll make you a deal, little dreamer. I'll give you all the cookies your heart desires. All I ask for is one small nickel each time you borrow a cookie. That's it. Luigi's eyes lit up like fireflies Deal, he said And so began the sweetest chapter of Luigi's life He munched on cookies morning, noon, and night He learned everything there was to know about cookies The flavors, the bacon, even the business He grew round and jolly and wise in the ways of sweets But one day, as he flipped through the pages of his cookie ledger He gasped he owed more nickels than there was stars in the sky.

1:15:36The weight of the cookie deck grew so heavy, he felt like dunking his head into a giant bowl of steaming milk and floating away. Understandable. And in the moment, Luigi learned a lesson that stuck harder than the caramel on a cold spoon. Magic cookies are sweet, but borrowed bites can lead to bitter crumbs. So dear children, never borrow what you can't repay, especially when cookies are involved. The end. Okay, great. So you wrote that, but you don't live by it. Not for a single second. I dream by it. So what the f*** are you talking about? That is the most pointless bullshit because you don't do anything.

1:16:12Why be an inspirational person that preaches all this stuff and then doesn't do it? I mean, I'll tell you, because dreaming is better than doing sometimes. No, it's... When? Because it's the goal. It's the idea. Yeah, but a goal without action is nothing. If you don't have no North Star, how are you going to walk towards it? But you don't follow it. The North Star takes time, Caleb. No, you see the North Star and then you avoid it at all costs. It's just like the bear says, the lessons learned once the cookie debt's too big. In this case - And your cookie debt is too big. And you have no f***ing nickels.

1:16:42I got a couple bites left. You have no nickels. You got a couple nickels. No, you have nothing. You literally make zero nickels a month. Once again, we have a job offer. Kind of. They specifically said it's not a job. You're going to have to be the one out there hustling, working 20 hours a month for$2 ,000. That's good. Good luck. That's good. Look how good that would be in Mexico. That's amazing. Dude, I could rent a villa for that. You can come join me. We could do a financial audit in Mexico. We could actually interview Mexicans over there. Shut the fuck up. That could be a cool job. Oh, I just got to move forward, man.

1:17:18I got to get through this. You're a horrendous existence on this planet.

1:17:26And the world moves fast. Your work day, even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Copilot is your AI assistant for work. Built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and other Microsoft 365 apps you use. Helping you quickly write, analyze, create, and summarize. So you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn more at Microsoft.com slash M365 Copilot. The fact that you're like proud of this existence kills me. Normally, this is also when I recommend the f***ing fizz card or Sondermine for therapy. But again, I don't want to put a therapist through talking with you.

1:18:09And I don't want you to get anywhere near a fizz card. That's funny? Yeah, it's kind of funny. You can have the therapist. It's okay. Shut the f*** up. I already do. Power play. What is this? power pay. Power pay. Oh, that's a good question, Caleb. Well, I got a little work done, to say the least. A little work done. A little tweaking. A little maintenance. To you? Yeah, a little maintenance. What? It was called cool sculpting. Have you heard about this term? No. It's pretty much to make the fat on your body, especially for males, because we get fat on our abs and our love handles. They use a freeze gun, and they stick it on your fat, and it literally melts the fat away from you using like sub-zero temperatures.

1:18:54So I got that procedure done and I'm waiting on my next. Yeah. I'm waiting for my next session at the end of the month. How much did you lose? I actually pretty much going to have abs at the end of this. No. How much did you lose so far? Lose what? In your session. The fat. The fat? Oh, pretty good. Like I was already in good shape. How much did you lose? What do you mean lose? The fat. The fat? You paid for the procedure to lose the fat. How much did you lose? I don't know. probably like five, 10 pounds or something. Really? Yeah. Hey guys, I always ask me, Caleb, what do you invest in? And honestly, I keep it pretty boring.

1:19:31Take a look at this. Take a look at this. This is my investments right here. And this is why you got to follow me on Blossom if you want to see just that. A couple of weeks back, I stumbled upon the social investing app called Blossom and thought, all right, let's give it a try. And it turns out it's actually really cool. And to be clear, they're not a brokerage. Blossom is a completely free social media platform. They're not your typical investing app. It's social, meaning you can follow exactly what I'm investing in and you can check out my portfolio in real time and even discuss strategies with me and other investors.

1:20:03There's no guessing games, just clear transparency. So if you're curious about how I'm investing or just want to get smarter with your money, download Blossom right now and you can follow me at caleb hammer i'll be sharing my exact portfolio breakdown investing tips even responding to your questions it's totally free super simple and way more fun than just guessing stocks alone so hit that link below join me on blossom and let's grow our money together seriously right now you can actually see what my portfolio looks like today i don't believe you i can recommend you i mean i gotta if it was real i'd use it because i got some but i don't believe you or trust you extremely painful you might want to get some weed with it because like they'll stick this thing on you and just you're like dying there on the chair and like you have all this like lube on you and you're like oh my god for how long it's like four hours okay never mind $2 ,657.65 is what's owed for this you borrowed it at a 15 % interest rate for this freeze I did that right though because they asked me who was in my household I would have gotten a better interest rate but I said I lived alone so I was I was a good person.

1:21:10Do you? I do live alone. So you just answered the question. Okay. I said, I'm an honest guy, Caleb. That's why you got to hire me, baby. Okay. You need to be honest to yourself about how much of a joke you are. Oh, it was an ad on Instagram. Great. Yeah. Okay. $65.62 a month. 65 % off, actually. 65 % off the procedure. 65 % off, yes. $65.62 is your minimum payment. This is going to be paid off and basically never. with that minimum of the payment and with the interest rate attached to it. Good fucking luck, dude. What a joke. I could get you. You're a joke. Do you want to meet with Dr. Nope. No?

1:21:49She would love to consult with you. Don't give a shit. I'm not getting you whatever commission you're going to get for that. I mean, it'd be good. Truth in lending. Okay, yeah. From Lead Bank. For what? What is this for? Lead Bank. Oh, I think that's my real estate license. I'm trying to get my real estate license. No, that's 30 % interest rate. What? Wait, is that 30 % interest rate? Yes, you f***. What is it? How much is it per month? 26. 20. Oh, yeah, that's a real estate license. Yeah. That's with a firm, though. You find it? Oh, you affirmed a real estate license? Yeah, I did. Okay, balance.

1:22:22314. I'm going to become the best apartment locator the cities have seen. You're just helping people find apartments? Yeah, it's apartment locating, baby. It's working. I don't think people really do that much in Austin. It's not New York or San Francisco. I am telling you. I used an apartment locator. Just go on Zillow. You don't need Zillow. You need me. That's what you need, Caleb. Why would they use you? Someone that's slower than them. That's a good question because, Caleb, there's a lot on your plate, Caleb. There's places to live. There's places to see. There's so many things to go to. But the problem is that you don't have time to figure out what you need.

1:22:55And so when you got a guy like me on your back. A moron? Yeah. No, not a moron. When you got someone like me, I'm there taking care of you, Caleb. I'm looking for the deals. I'm fine with you the special places, man. But you're also dealing with other clients. I would rather look at my own pace and go on Zillow and see a thousand apartments in one day. Are you serious, Caleb? Yeah. That's not effective, man. That's not effective. I've been pretty okay with my housing situations in my life. Are you sure? Yeah. It could be better though. I mean. I don't think so. What's the biggest thing you've looked for in your house?

1:23:24What's your real estate portfolio worth? $4. F*** off that. I mean, I can help you, Caleb. I'm telling you, even finding a house is not as simple as people think it is. I think I do pretty okay. How do you find your house? What's your real estate portfolio worth? $9. Fuck off. You see how big it is? We're not comparable. You're not comparable because you haven't worked with me yet. I don't play the big dick contest because I don't care about that kind of shit. That's not what I do. However, if you're going to come here and say that you are the authoritative figure on this, I'm going to pull the big dick on it, okay?

1:23:58Oh, really? It doesn't look that big.

1:24:03I don't know what you're talking about, man. You're doing the rubber glue thing. It's so silly. Yeah, man. Shut the fuck up. You are an actual elementary schooler. I did graduate elementary school. I know the song, too, of my elementary school. It's pretty cool. I love that song. I'm glad you walked away with that. Not any life skills. Except good looks. Charm. It's not a life skill. Personality. Your personality is horrendous. That's what you need to be a realtor, Caleb. But you have to pay for sex. I don't need to do that. I'm fat and I have, you know, my sex is like, I've never struggled with it.

1:24:37Let me guess her name, right? Angela or Lefsey? Huh? Oh. Yeah. That's fine. Is that their name? Very silly. Just curious. Curious. Very silly guy. Yeah. Okay. I don't know, man. Helping people find apartments. I could do that, man. I know some people use it. It's just, I don't think it's as big of a thing in Austin. and I'd be like, good luck. I mean, I could try. There's so many services out there that are just online. You can browse. And now they have the self-touring for apartment buildings. Self-touring? You haven't even seen this? Look, this is the industry you're trying to get into and you're not even aware.

1:25:12A lot of apartment buildings around here, you scan a QR code in front and then it unlocks a unit that you're able to go into and just view what the apartment looks like and see all their amenities. Yeah, well. They don't need you anymore. You're outdated. You're a dying breed. Damn. Didn't like to hear it that way, Caleb. Well, because it's true. I'll tell you what, Caleb. In sales, we learn not to quit. We learn to persuade and ask questions. Yeah, but you also learn to game the system, and your system's dying. You need to go to a different system where you can actually make money. This feels like that moment when that last Top Gun movie came out, and the sergeant said, you're a dying breed, Tom Cruise.

1:25:46You're a dying breed. And he looked at him, and I'm like, we'll find out, Captain. You love Tom Cruise. We know. We've learned. He's a Scientologist. That's the reference I was making. And then I have a note that you owe your mom and dad$2 ,000 No, it was for a car loan. Mazda 2 green. Yeah. That's the best car on the planet. That was my dream car when I was 12, dude. I'm serious. That thing is a manual. Yeah, you're 25 now. Green's my favorite color. I mean, look at that. Look at that. Look how nice. What kind of car do you have, Caleb? Tesla. Tesla? What kind of Tesla? Model X. Model X. I don't even know what a Model X is.

1:26:20Okay, it's the premium SUV. Oh, the SUV. Oh, I see. So you're like, what are you doing in that thing? I mean - Drive. You drive? Where to? Work, restaurants. I went to San Antonio this weekend. Oh, San Antonio. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what, Caleb. I mean, I know you got a lot of sightseeing to do with these houses you want to build or whatever, but I'll tell you what. If someone was doing the driving for you, like me, I could find you the best place to live. I would not trust you behind a zero to 60 and three second car. They didn't either. Who? Who's they? That's redacted information. Oh, right.

1:26:58Right, when you worked for Tesla. Yeah. You don't know what a Model X is and you worked for Tesla? They have five models. I only know the model, and that model was me.

1:27:11You are such a joke. You are such a f***ing embarrassment. You owe$2 ,000 to your parents. It's for a car. What's your minimum monthly to them? I haven't paid them yet. Wait, when did you get this? I think it was like a couple months ago Or four months ago now I think I think it was four or five months ago, yeah Okay, who do you talk to the most? My mom Give her a call, ask her how she feels That you haven't made any payments yet I'm not sure if she's available Give a call, call them both Yeah, I'm making you confront some shit For what it's worth, it's worth about$3 ,000 So you do have a$1 ,000 equity position in it let me see if i can reach out to her call her call her okay let me call her

1:28:06hello hey mom um so remember i was telling you i was on that uh podcast uh i just want to let ask you about something separate from all the other stuff happening um they want me to ask you How do you feel about me not making the monthly payments yet with the car that I borrowed money for you and dad from? Only that. We're only asking about that. Oh, she hung up. I'd hang up too. Oh, man. Ask your dad. Call your dad. I don't know. Call your dad. Don't give them the whole winded thing. Just ask them how they feel that you haven't made a payment. Okay. I doubt that's the first time she's hung up on you.

1:28:47And the other dude hung up on you too No my dad's working right now I don't think he can What does he do? He's a software developer Okay call him Oh they don't do anything anyway Hey mom Can you see my text? No Okay so I'm on a podcast right now Okay

1:29:10Okay so I have to ask you What are your thoughts about me not making the monthly payment on the car yet?

1:29:20No, making a what? The payment I'm supposed to pay you guys for the Mazda I got? What are your thoughts on that?

1:29:31I don't even know. I mean, I don't know what you deal with that. I mean, I don't even know. Oh, so I just got to deal with that. Okay, sounds good. All right, I'll talk to you later. Call Papa. I'm not going to call Papa. Call him. Big Bear is too much for a little bear. Call him. I'm telling you to call him.

1:29:56Call him. I don't think we could call him, dude. He's actually working right now. Okay, if he doesn't pick up, he doesn't pick up, but call him. Okay. For fuck's sake, man.

1:30:08You owe them$2 ,000 and you're not paying them. What's the agreed upon minimum of the payment? I don't think there's even been an agreed upon. Call him!

1:30:21speaker to here don't open with the long f***ing spiel just ask the question hey dad what's up dad I was curious what do you think about that monthly payment I stole you guys on the Mazda 2 well you know what pal

1:30:44I don't know what to make of it, man. I don't know what to make of it. Am I in trouble with you guys? You and mom? We definitely have to talk later about it. Okay, but I'm still your guys' favorite son though, right? Of course. Oh, sweet. Yeah, thanks. Give me this. Give me this. Open it. Open it now. Open it. Open it. Okay. Open your phone. There it is.

1:31:19He didn't call his dad. He called someone named Tony. Main man Tony. I knew it. You are such a little... You are such a f***ing joke of a human. You didn't believe me? That was my dad, man. This is your dad. Oh, my God. if he doesn't pick up it's okay hello dad what are your thoughts about me not making the multi payment on the car yet not me not making the multi payments on the car I'm on a podcast right now because I want to find out what do you think about me not making the multi payments on the car yet it doesn't mean anything I guess I don't understand the question. Okay. So should I make my monthly payments or should I not make my monthly payments?

1:32:12Have you never made a monthly payment? Yeah, the fact I haven't made monthly payments yet. What do you guys? Well, what do you think I would think? Probably not good, honestly. Ask him how much he wants a month. Look at there. You didn't even need to call me for that. How much is it per month? I don't know. How much is it per month? Why are you asking me these questions? I'll talk to you, Dad. I just texted Mom about it. It's a podcast. I'll talk to you later, okay?

1:32:43You're in deep, and you deserve it. You deserve that confrontation. You made me do that. Exactly, and you deserve it, honestly, because you're not willing to deal with your ever, your sh** ever. You're not able to f**king deal with a single f**king thing. You're an immature little brat. You are a joke in this world. So, you're about to make a trade based on a friend's text. But which you do you listen to? Is it, we could buy a house in Tulum. Get optioning those options. We could lose everything. Or let's do a little research. Get your head in the trade and make the investment decision that's right for you.

1:33:24Learn more at FINRA.org slash trade smart. World. Okay. And you call someone else to try to get out of it. you you're you're you're a joke you wish i was a joke caleb but when i come when i come up i'm we're gonna send this to your parents no you don't don't send this to your parents and they're gonna see that you pay for sex oh you deserve it normally i'm not like expose the guests in this kind of stuff you deserve it you obviously i i mean i should expose you too caleb you know why you expose me for go ahead and when you asked me when i walked in the building i i saw you you were red-eyed you were like all over the place and i was like caleb i'm is this hammer Studios?

1:34:02And he's like, yeah, it's Hammer Studios. So you have to make up stuff to expose? I mean, I was surprised as you were. I was like, alright, let me just go and do my thing here tonight. I didn't see you until you went to pee chlamydia all over our bathroom walls while I was trying to get myself a coffee. Only you would know what chlamydia would look like. I mean, are you a doctor or something? So we're doing the rubber glue situation again. What's rubber glue? Is this arts and crafts? I'm rubber glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Oh my god. That's all you do. You wish. You wish.

1:34:28I wish? You wish, yeah. Again, you're doing it again. That's your only comeback. Yeah. You wish. You wish. It's okay. You have never left the playground. I haven't because I'm always having fun, Caleb. Unlike you. Because you don't exchange your time for money. You need people to take some of the stuff off your plate. I'm hiring people right now. We're hiring like a dozen people. You dumbass. You know nothing about our business. I know a lot because I'm going to get into it. I'm going to see how well... You're not going to ever be allowed near this building. If we see you entering the complex, our security guard will pull out his gun.

1:35:04What kind of gun does he have? It's a pistol of some kind. What kind of pistol? I said of some kind because I do not know. Really? Yes. Okay, well, I'll tell you what. It's concealed. Do you know how to disarm someone with a pistol? It's quite easy, in fact. He's trained, and I don't think you're going to be even close. You won't even be close to him by the time you know a bullet has left his barrel. Yeah, well, I'm fast as f***. Okay, you own medical bills. Yeah, I do. there's actually some some good reason for those medical bills there's a brain injury was it it was uh the the brain injury i got like the mozart brain i got like a creative creative mind no i feel like your mind like is like stalled i feel like your brain is like really like like put together but you're like kind of like a dim way oh you are just the most moronic mother all you do is just when you don't when you get a little bit of pushback you just do the immature little insult things and i love a good immature insult but you do it so poorly yeah yes yes yes okay say it one more time what's the medical bill for you i will um i had adhd but i cured myself i cured this myself moving on Shut the fuck up Are you Ever heard of magic mushrooms You ever heard of What's in your checking account right now Let's Let me check $329 What's in your savings $32 Okay so it's all gone down from here We're getting Starbucks Chipotle Even though we're fired Booze and liquor Um Liquor and Smoke whatever We do that like five times McDonald's.

1:36:50Booze, booze, booze. McDonald's. Booze. Ben Wayne out money. Torchy's. Smoke shop. McDonald's. Liquor. Liquor, liquor, liquor. DoorDash. Ben Wayne out money. Liquor. 77 degrees. Liquor and smokes and liquor and smokes and liquor smokes. Liquor smokes. Liquor smokes. Liquor smokes. Ben Wayne out money. Lime payoff. Lime payoff? What's that? I don't f***ing know. I love limes. Stop talking. Galaxy. Liquor, booze, liquor, booze, liquor, booze. Smoke shop. Lime ride. Tacos, tacos. Ricardo. Champs. F***ing liquor. Smoke, liquor, smoke. Stop. Stop. You're annoying. Liquor, smokes, dominoes, door dash, door dash.

1:37:49So you pulled for the 4.0K. Again, I need to hear about that because, like, what did you even use the money for? I used the money to pay off all the credit card debt I had. Oh, and then it's all that. Great. It's kind of like a pistons. You know how pistons work? If you put pressure on one, the other four raise. You know how they design cars like that or whatever? I think it's the same thing that happens. Like, yeah, I put pressure on one thing, and the rest of it just raises. So, like, I think I focus too much on my finances sometimes where it just, like, stresses me out. And being 100 % genuine right now, I want to see exactly what this says.

1:38:24The last escort is the term we agreed on that you slept with. Show me her picture. 100 % serious and don't fuck around. I want it to be the real picture. Your phone's on the table next to your kid's drink. Sweet. Who doesn't like Kool-Aid? It's Capri Sun. it's not kool-aid let me look I want this to be real you better not all I know you've only deflected lied even about the people you're calling like I'm looking right now yeah how do you find them where are you where are you looking to get the picture no they're just my contacts where okay so it's in your contact yeah okay so you pulled her off I'll show you can you tell me a genuine answer genuine anyone where do you find these escorts i don't find them come on no tell me the real answer okay okay so at my apartment complex there's like a a huge like uh been like bust apparently of like all these like are over there and so when i found out about it like they all go by the pool and so when i go by the pool like it's just a casual conversation because they know what you're looking for and so when i show me show me the picture i'll show you give me a second It looks like in 2025.

1:39:44I'm not going to get a budget out of you because you're a joke, but at least this was an entertaining conversation for the audience. We did it. I made it through for you, but I've reached the end. We're going to look at a process. And then in the post show here in a second, I'm going to bring in my number two in command who does first round interviews. I do second round interviews and last round. We're going to bring in, we're going to conduct an actual formal job interview with him. And then we're going to bring in some extra tea that the producers have as always. So make sure you join that. Now let's take a look at this I'm trying to look Do you remember her name?

1:40:15No, you just stuck it in and gave her money I think it was Yeah or something Wasn't her yet? You gotta give me a second You know you can type in that name And find out, right? Oh, I know where to find her Okay Where is she? Right

1:40:34Oh She's a MILF Oh, she looks like a prop And we're not going to put the picture on the screen because I don't want people to reverse image search and find her, but she's caked and fucking... Okay, tell me. How much did it cost? Actually, um... Tell me how much did it cost? No more round answers. Give me the real answer. 300 bucks. Okay. What did you do for$300? I got to make out with her, and then she did a little something to my special spot. Okay, so she blew you. Yeah. You didn't have sex? No. Okay. She's the CEO of a company. It just links to her own Instagram. Okay. Let's see what her company is.

1:41:23Salon. Let the salon come to you. Yeah, I'm sure that's what she does when the salon gets to her. It must be a cover. Yep. Oh, no.

1:41:37You know it's a cover. because she sent you the link. And you said, sweet. A sunglasses emoji. Me too. And then you guys talked about someone. You're going to love your haircut. I've heard that before. Can't wait, you say. Concierge Services book messages? Makeup, hair, caterings, chef services, all the things for condos, high rises, hotels, many entities, and Airbnb. You may be free tomorrow for the haircut. What time tomorrow? Can you do 2.15? Hey, text my work for a haircut. Yes, this is how normal people communicate. Okay, hey, I left a message. Oh gosh, I saw it. I need a haircut. and he knows who can do it best, winky face.

1:42:41Wait, did you guys ever? Because you've given her a lot of messages she hasn't responded to. No, that's like, because we were talking, because she is on my apartment complex. So, like, we went by the pool and then... You deleted her text messages. Okay. Okay. No, that's what I was looking for, but I didn't see it. How often do you do it? How often? Like, I don't really think so much. Come on, man. How often do you do it? How often do you do it? Like, I do it once a month. You don't? Is it because you can't get any? No, that's what people that get processed do it for, because they can't get any.

1:43:20Well, again, I am seeing someone. I do not need that. And even before, I've always, at least luckily, been able to, you know, get people that I'm attracted to. Yeah, me too. But how often do you do the processed? Once a month, maybe. Once a month. That's crazy, buddy. You know that's crazy. Why do you do it? I don't know. No, come on. Why do you do it? Probably for urges, you know. I don't really care. I mean, it's just one thing. I mean, what do you think about it? I mean, it's not even that bad. I think about it that it's illegal. And I think about it, I would be okay if I know for a fact that they are not in a situation where they're being controlled for someone, where they're in fear for their life, where they're not being trafficked.

1:44:00trafficked, I would only ever be okay with it in society if it was like regulated in a way where they're safe and they're good. And then I don't care what consensual adults do. But the fact is a lot of people in those situations are usually in a sketchy situation. Listen, you're a piece of you're disgusting. You're a joke of a human. We're going to go to the post show. We're going to conduct a formal job interview and talk about some extra tea that the producers have that I do not know. So make sure you guys join that. Hammerly is the version with thousands of hours of extra content and a lot of other shows that I produce behind that.

1:44:31And make sure you download the budgeting app if you don't want to turn out like him. Actually, I don't think it's going to save this kind of case. But remember, if you sign up for the annual version, I'll send you the cookbook signed and mailed directly to your door. Join us in the post show. He legitimately 100 % 100 % wants a job here. This is real. Okay, I will let this be a real job interview. We can do it full real. Sounds good. Robert usually does the first round. I usually do the last round. We'll do a whole little interview thing here. Alright man, let's start with your name. Inclusive members content!

1:45:00Click the link in the description or pinned comment below and watch thousands of hours of extra and uncensored content.