I Hate His B*tch Wife | Financial Audit

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26:37Oh, and I have a special surprise for anyone who takes the quiz. Click the link in the description to learn more. Take the quiz. Take advantage of 50 % off. And finally, unfucked finances for good. When I was truck driving alone, I ended up driving for a local company doing like rock hauling and stuff. I was making like$2 ,000 a week. It was crazy. Yeah, truck is money. I was working like 15 hours a day, waking up at 2 a.m. We were going through the separation and divorce. I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't like okay mentally. like I was not being a safe driver. Oh, what happened? What did you do? So in a span of two weeks, a lot.

27:19What? Okay, so first I got a speeding ticket. The same one that he got actually. It was really funny. It was a six miles over. What are we doing, guys? You're professional drivers. Yes. Clearly not. I was not okay. Putting other people's lives at risk, those multi-ton vehicles. What are you doing? So speeding ticket, what else? You're making it sound like more. Okay, well, the other things didn't happen with the truck. It was with my personal car. What? I hit some animals on the road. Were they just sprinting across the road or what? Yeah, yeah. Who'd you hit? It was like a coyote. Okay. The dog.

27:50A dog? What's wrong with you? You're evil. I'm not evil. Sounds like it. I didn't try to hit the dog. I tried to avoid it. All in two weeks. Come on. Hitting multiple animals and a speeding ticket. I was checked out of life. Well, guess what? And then you made other living things actually check out of life against their consent. by myself. Like shit. I was going through panic attacks every day. I was in the emergency room like three different times. Then why are you driving? I was fainting. Then why are you driving? Because I had to. I f***ing had to. Uber. He left. Uber. If you're fainting, Uber.

28:20At 2 a.m., there's no f***ing Ubers around. You're being selfish to that point, and the selfishness had consequences. Anyways, I ended up having an accident with a truck. Huh? I had an accident with a truck. It was a small accident, but that's what got me fired. No accountability either. It's all excuses for it. It's the reality of what I was leaving at the time. I didn't choose for my husband to leave me and put me through the emotional turmoil that I was in. No, but you were going through hard times. You were going to the emergency room. You were fainting. If that is happening, do not get behind the wheel no matter what.

28:53What was I supposed to do to make a - Not do that because you're going to get people killed. Okay. That's all that matters in the end is a human life. Yeah, which is why - Yes, you're a selfish bitch. Okay. Well, if I didn't get fired, I was going to quit because I was like, I can't keep doing this shit, obviously. I wasn't okay, okay? I wasn't thinking properly. Oh, yeah, we know that. Clearly. No shit, selfish. Okay. Come on. Anyways, I got fired. I have an accident in my record, so I can't be hired for like three years or something. Good. You deserve it. Never put you behind the wheel again.

29:21I'm nervous that you guys drove out. I don't want to. Anyways, it doesn't matter anyway. You both are insane. But we should maybe figure something out so we can make money. So I'm okay if someone of us does maybe get back in the truck driving. No, you guys are dangerous. Absolutely not. You need other jobs. Well, his ticket was stupid. He shouldn't have gotten that. Listen, I'll get you a course career certification. People in the audience have used those for both of you. I don't know because this coaching thing isn't working. But it's his dream job. I don't give a f***. Why would I give a f***?

29:45I need to put food on the table. I don't care. Do you have kids? Well, I understand, but if we can find somebody. If kids? No. Then I don't. Then, okay. Then you have a little more flexibility. But I'll get you course careers again. A lot of people in the audience have converted them into six-figure jobs. Okay? Okay? What? Okay. What do you want? Oh, shit. Okay. So, okay. Okay. You were one court date away from actually finalizing the divorce. Yeah. Why the f*** didn't you? I realized my biggest thing was I wasn't feeling listened to. Guys, you brought that up at the beginning of this conversation that you're still not being listened to.

30:20Yeah. So I don't think anything's been solved. Yeah. So what? Tell me. So I think I felt like I was finally being listened to in this and then. Temporary. Yeah. And then when I gave up and I finally signed the papers Because I was like I can't keep going through this If he doesn't want me he doesn't want me Let me just sign your papers here you go Do whatever you want with your life He all of a sudden felt like That was enough to Regret? No not regret Really because it doesn't sound like things are better based on what you've said in this conversation Well like there was a time Whenever things were getting better Like she was being more responsible More on top of things Yes there was a time but it's not today I'm just not enough I'm never gonna be enough Why do you have to be so dramatic about it?

31:01No, because that's literally how you make me feel all the time. Because it's like a roller coaster where like, if I'm not at my 100 % best, then I'm not enough. But I can't always be at my 100 % best. There is an in-between of like 50 % and 100%. But you're not okay with that. You're not doing 100 and you're barely at 50. Right? No. Okay. Emotionally. Can you say that there's more things that you could be doing? There's a few more things that I could be doing, yes. that there's always going to be more that I could be doing. But I'm, like, always exhausted. I'm mentally exhausted. I'm depressed.

31:35Like, you're always exhausted. That's just part of being a grown-up. Like, that's being an adult. It really is. Like, I don't understand. Like, that's why I get so angry. And, like, I just don't understand how the thought process of having a kid is possible if you're saying you're always tired. That can't be a f***ing option if you're, oh, I'm depressed. I'm tired. I can't do anything. I basically have two full-time jobs right now. So you want a third? No. What are you talking about? A kid. I want to set us up to be at a point where we can have. We both make$2 ,000 a month. He has a joke of a job.

32:05It's a hobby. And you, well, I don't even know. This is pathetic. I mean, you're horrible behind the wheel getting people killed. You should have been arrested. Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? That's a little extreme. Not really. I should not have been arrested. You're putting people's lives in danger. Let's get you the fuck off the road forever. Who the fuck are you? Yeah, let's get me off the road. Well, she's off the road now. For even your own personal car? Yeah, I barely drive. We definitely shouldn't let you in general going forward That's for sure So how are you setting yourself up To have a kid?

32:35I don't see that happening Look at the stack With the business growing It can get to the point Where that will take your There's only one direction for it to go And that's up No it's not No there's another direction She defaults on her deck because you guys have so much And so much spending and bullshit And then all of a sudden whoopsie We just don't even have money to even get the supplies needed to even go to these events and pay for the events and all these different things. I guess that is possible. Yes, there's a lot of things. You think businesses don't collapse overnight? No, they do. This is a hobby.

33:08You have a hobby. You have a hobby. And the waitressing isn't doing shit. No, it's not doing shit. I wanted to stop waitressing. I had the opportunity to stop waitressing. Purchase waitressing somewhere that makes more money, dude. No one's going to this place. Or is this too cheap? Something's wrong. It's starting out. They don't even have their liquor license yet. That once they get their liquor license, more people will come in. Who cares? Why are you supporting them? It's a business. Go for a better business. You need to make more money. There's nothing else. In our town, there's nothing better.

33:34In our town, there's nothing better. Then move to a place without opportunity. We can't sell the house yet. You own a house. What is it with these people I'm talking to that are owning these houses in no opportunity areas? Why are you to do that? And we were making a lot of money in the time. You know why it's cheap? Because there's no opportunities. When we bought it, we were making a shit ton of money. There's a college in the town. So we thought that that was the opportunity. Yeah. We thought if we can't. Is it the college you work at? Yeah. Well, then clearly that college sucks in like every way possible.

34:03I mean. If there's only a restaurant. It's not the best. It's the best restaurant there. It's the best. Indiana is like failing. They're starting out. I come from a college town. Hundreds, if not at least a thousand restaurants. Did you come from a big college town? because this is a small college town. Also, D1, and it's in the MAC conference, okay? Similar to the Sun Bell. And if that's doing better than your conference, then you need to give up. Can I give you like another year or two before I give up? Well, you make no money. She wants to have a kid and she's aging out, so. I am aging out.

34:41Yeah, but I'm older, so I feel like there's a little bit more. What does that have to do with anything? Because if I can be patient and see, what's the aging out? How long do we have? Because of the biological clock. Yours is fine. Mine is running out. So you're saying like 32, you're done? You want to be able to? Probably. I don't. I already have issues. Modern medicine is better, but they're, I mean, you don't want to be, you want to be young and spry for the kids. Okay. And so then I have to get a job based on us having a kid, which I understand I have no problem doing. I can get a kid. You want to have a kid?

35:10I mean, you almost divorced her last year. Yes. I want to have a kid, but I don't want to be the only thing that's holding the household afloat. And that's where I feel like that's what it is. Which is basically his love language, by the way, as a coach. I mean, in the entire pre-interview, it's that like working together, you two together and trucking showed who you really are. And he can't feel like he loves someone who isn't making their lives better and that you guys aren't on the same page. You guys aren't on the same team. All the shit. And for someone like him who is a professional coach, that actually does matter.

35:44No shit he would want to leave, want to be with someone who's actually contributing. Yeah. He looks down on you. You're not a provider. You don't do anything. Your business is a failure. It does feel like you looked down on me, but I do. You didn't say you looked down on her, but everything you're saying is looking down on her. Oh, well. That is how I perceive it too, just so you know. But that might not be invalid. No, I mean. And he can't be with someone that he considers pathetic and not contributing to the relationship, to the partnership, to the team. Which is actually crazy because I'm busting my ass to bring in the remaining money that we need.

36:15That's even worse because you're busting your ass and only making$2 ,000 a month, meaning that it's actually worse because there's people that are lazy that make more than you. Which is crazy. Oh, my God. No, that just means you suck. Okay. You're a horrible teammate. She used to be in like pharmaceutical sales and I told her maybe we said something we should try to get back into. No, I'm not going to go back to that shit. I hated it. I hated it. Yeah, so you hate not making money now. You hate making money. At least money problems would be solved if you were doing that. There's more to life than just money and I'm not going to have a job where I'm hating myself because of the job that's so unethical that I'm having to do.

36:49Right. There's more to life than money, right? There is, but you guys have to pay the bills. And if you want kids, you need to be set up for it. And you guys have a lot of debt. And the number one reason why people get divorced is because of finances, right? It's not the number one, but it is a leading cause. Okay, it's up there. And if you allow it, yes. But you almost got divorced already, guys. You got closer than any couple on this show. Yeah, because he just gave up. He just wanted to give up and throw in the towel. I don't think it's necessarily giving up. Like, he accepted the L. And you guys are now.

37:14Like, your relationship might not be a complete failure, but your finances are. and if that's a big part of it if that's a big part of it which it sounds like it is like yeah maybe you guys did lose yeah that was my mindset for a bit I just don't see how I don't do enough when I am working I've always been working how can you keep on saying you don't understand how you don't do enough and then I'm giving examples of how you're not doing enough

37:42so again in the your like pre interview therapy session he was saying or he always makes it feel like you're making him out to be the bad guy. Is that true? That's what you said. Oh, me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think if I don't agree with what she says, then I just turn into the bad guy. If I don't 100 % support every single idea that she has, then I'm just the negative Nancy that just poops on every plan. And that's kind of crazy because you're supporting his insane dream job that is bullshit, and he's supporting your insane dream job that is bullshit. You guys are supporting each other in your lunacy.

38:21But whenever I took the job, I was also Ubering to make up for money that we were needing. Mick Moore's a high school coach. Yes, that's something that is being thought about and I'm working through trying to figure that stuff out. So it's just like if you guys are already supporting each other in your lunacy dreams, then how can you say he's the villain? I never said he was a villain. You make him feel like he is though. And he makes me feel like I'm not enough. Clearly we're both doing something wrong with how we're making each other feel. Are you enough? Yes. How? I'm pretty great. I work hard.

38:50But you don't bring anything to that hard work. Isn't it results, not the actual working that makes the difference? Maybe I don't know how to better structure myself in order to get better results. But instead of criticism, maybe I could use some guidance and some help. I know that I'm not. He's not a professional business owner. How is he giving that? Well, but then don't give the criticism if you can't give the help. It sounds like he is trying for what it's worth. He is trying, and I do recognize that. What are you talking about? You specifically told Lindsay that he does not meet your needs.

39:22What is that? What does that even mean? Well, like emotionally and stuff. You know, like in a marriage, like I want my husband to support me lovingly, not to always be like a father who's like looking down on me, criticizing me. Yeah, that might be his coaching nature. What is this not meeting needs that happens? I want to be loved. Well, tell me. I want to feel loved. like you know examples okay okay and i've been telling him this when we started it was like a fairy tale not a fairy tale but like welcome to every relationship okay but like why can't we get back to that like why can't you hug me why can't you give me kisses you don't kiss her i have to ask for it why am i having to beg my husband to give me affection and attention why that doesn't make sense you're my husband you should want to give me a kiss when i come home you should want to give me a kiss goodbye.

40:11You should want to wrap your arms around me. You should want to take pictures of me like you used to, but you don't because I'm not enough. You're losing me at the picture thing, but at least giving her a hug. It was an us thing. Yeah. So like I do. Honeymoon phase. I hug her. I kiss her. Do I smother her in hugs and kisses like she wants? No. No, but I'm always having to ask for it. Just because you, just because you ask like first thing when you come in through the door doesn't mean you have to always ask. No, I always ask. That's like me saying I come home, where's dinner? I don't have to ask for dinner.

40:40I can just make it myself. Like, give me a second. I will give you a hug and a kiss. Right? But you don't. But, okay. No, like, literally lately, I get home and I'm like, let me see how long it'll take. Let me see how, that's how bad it's gotten. Because in my head, I'm like, does he even care to give me a hug? I mean, maybe. Like, does it even matter to me? I'm not going to argue with that. But if I see you every single day, we wake up and sleep together. Like we sleep in every single day. I don't think I need to welcome you home. Like you came back from war with a hug and a kiss. Unless I'm wrong in that logic.

41:17Yeah, you're wrong in that logic. We're not like friends living together. We're husband and wife. You work not even half a mile away from me. I stopped by the restaurant to see you on like twice a week for lunch. Which is nice. I do like that. Okay. So like Again I don't need to shower you with hugs and kisses Every time that I see you A concern here I thought you both said you work your asses off Would you sleep in everyday? Because I've been trying to make up For that time that I've missed out With her Shut the f*** up Shut the f*** up We sleep in everyday Shut the f*** up then You're pathetic Shut up Shut up Come on.

42:04Come on. That's great. How often are you guys? Three times a week? What? Then what are you talking about? Three times a week. So you're getting affection. You're getting love. You're getting touch. Right? Unless it's just like he's not looking at you and it's just like, you know, like an animal. I like the lights on. So like that's. There's been times when I ask for it and I get rejected. Oh, that's going to happen sometimes. It happens a lot. Okay. Well, but if you're at three times a week, I think you're okay. It's a healthy amount, right? Once or twice a week. Oh, so it's going down. Don't be dramatic.

42:43Okay. Well, Lindsay is saying that she said she feels constantly rejected. Constantly. So what does that mean? That means I put myself out there. I try to like start something and then there's always an excuse. There's always a reason of why not. When I try to initiate, it gets shut down every single time. That I try to initiate, it gets shut down. So I have to wait until he feels like it. Well, yes, both have to feel like it. That's not crazy. Every single time. If I don't feel like it and he wants it, then I'm going to get myself in the mood for him. Okay, you're better than me. I don't know what to tell you.

43:18I will say there is a mathematical equation here. If we're just talking basic biology, if he wants to, you don't want to. and you say, okay, that's 30 seconds. If you want to and he doesn't want to, I could be like a 10-minute marathon that he has to... Actually, you know, because whenever I'm in the mood, it's grade A stuff and you can't argue with that. That's what I was saying. I was just saying to get him to come is like 30 seconds. You're a mission. I'm not. You're an easy comer? I make it a whole performance. It's not something that I just jump in and out of. So it takes... Give me your phone, buddy.

44:00Okay. What is the background? Black people in anime. You don't like anime? No, it's just always a thing. It's very interesting. So, like, what do you mean black people? No, black people in anime. It's very interesting. Like, the only ones who like it? No, but... Every single time. Black people tend to like anime. This is definitely following very goony content on Twitter, I will say. Mm-hmm. There's some booty shaking and shit like that Which is a little interesting And then booty booty booty This is everything on Everything on X so far Soccer And ass Okay X Huh I don't use X Okay There's a guy he sends like stuff and I have to.

44:55Huh? What? I have a co-worker that sends stuff. Sends what? Stuff that's not appropriate. Where? On Instagram. Okay. WhatsApp maybe. Huh? So that's just where I sum up my. Mm-hmm. What? Just booties and boobs and. Why? Just his sense of humor. I think I know who you're talking about. Brad and I are both gooners, but we don't send each other... You know? That's not how you pass time? Is that what he sends? Sometimes. Oh, my God. Okay, you talk to a lot of people on WhatsApp. Why? Part of recruiting. Okay. He's always recruiting. He's always working. Who's this person from... I'm believing her name, but...

45:56Who is this? An athlete. Why do you do video calls with her? Very frequently. Talk about coaching stuff?

46:12Okay. Yeah, some of it is coaching talking. It's a little interesting. You've met her a lot. I picked her up a lot from the airport. She's from a different country. But why? What's your relationship with her? My athlete? What's my relationship with my athlete? She's your athlete? Yeah. She plays there? Yeah. At your school? Yeah. But she lives in Germany? Correct. Okay. You guys text a lot, but okay. I just didn't know that student athletes and coaches texted this much. it's just a lot listen I haven't seen anything like alarming it is a lot of texting it's very weird but maybe that's normal I don't know I think it's always the women why aren't you texting the men that much though that's something that I try to figure out I the guys don't talk a lot no you're not texting them as much I call them but but you're really texting these very attractive women a lot.

47:16But they're kids. They're not kids. I wouldn't say they're attractive, but I guess I can see how someone else would. What? Come on. She's attractive. What the fuck are you talking about? Come on. Don't with that. What's this? What is it? Polafly? Polafly. It looks like Hinge, but I guess it's not. Okay, that's good. That was concerning. I do think that he invests more time than necessary into literally every... Maybe, maybe not. I'm not 100 % sure. It's just interesting that it's always the young women, you know?

47:59Sure. What's the gender split on your team? I have two guys and four girls. And then next year I'm going to have four guys and seven girls. Whenever I travel, I'm gone for three or four days of the week. Okay. And whenever he's home, he's working still. And that's from the start of the second week of January. Well, it makes sense, but. So, like, the whole second semester, I'm pretty much gone half a week. Well, there wasn't really anything too concerning on his phone, but he's around these attractively, and you're not concerned with him traveling? No. It's just the fact that, like, he doesn't know how to balance, like, his work.

48:33Well, that's his job. Either you support his dream job or you don't. I don't know what to tell you. No, I do, but he gets home, and he's still working. Okay. It doesn't stop working. But part of it is that I talk to international athletes, and so the time zone in Germany or in New Zealand are drastically different than times here, so I have to be on my phone. What is this other woman that I have in my notes? His job. Who is she? The job. Oh. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay, what do you guys think your financial score is? Zero to ten. Negative. Points. 0. 5. Before we keep going, quick word from today's sponsor.

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51:44That is Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash Caleb. All right, back to the financial chaos. Okay, I can't be negative, but okay. If you want your Hammer Financial Score, get it for free at CalebHammer.com. Figure out where your score is 0 to 10. in the world of finances, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. If you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, make sure you download the DownloadWise budgeting app. Take the free trial. See if it works for you. It works for tens of thousands of monthly active users for a reason. And if you like, it's not for the annual version because it saves almost 50 % and you get the physical version of my 30-day meal plan signed by me, mailed directly to you, and also the digital version of the cookbook.

52:18So check that out. Listen, I understand you guys' relationship is messy. Yes, you should hug your wife. You should kiss your wife. That's normal. That's fine. I understand if it's up and down with sex that happens we're busy, we're tired, whatever, that's normal but like, I mean guys, what are we doing? and if you guys just think each other are the controlling ones in the relationship like how do we get anywhere? I don't know how do you guys communicate on money? like all this, all this right here you said you know it, he doesn't know anything so where's the communication on the money? so she tells me this is the plan and this is how things are going to happen and I trust her and I say okay so I send her the money whenever she asks for it and then whenever I need money for something Why are we not combined?

52:56We had a combined account when we got married and we just never used it. And it got closed out. Why should he have to send money? That's weird. Because it's just easier. No, it's not. It's actually easier to budget as a household if everything goes into one account. I'm down. He just didn't care to use it or do anything with it. We just never got back to doing it again. It was just because we had the same job before so our paychecks were the exact same. How can you manage off of two accounts that you just don't even see insight into? How can you manage the household? Because most payments come, like I just pay for it.

53:29He only is in charge of the internet and the car insurance and his credit card minimum. So when he gets paid every month, he keeps what he needs for those payments and just sends me the rest. And then I pay everything else. So it's just easier because he was really bad at making payments. Like he would end up like making late payments and things like that. So how do we talk about the money though? You just accept it when she says these things? Yeah, she has it written down. and we look at it together. So she would be the controlling one then. Yeah. Because I organize it. I'm the organized one.

54:00How can you say he's controlling then? If he says you can't spend money. Well, yeah. Well, you're the one managing the money. I'm really, that dynamic is just so confusing to me. I mean, you guys spend$400 more than you brought in. So like, I think I, she says, I'm controlling because like, I don't, I tell her she's not allowed to go to the grocery store because anytime she like, What? has a list of two items. She'll always get 10 items. Like it's never ever has there been a trip where she goes in for exactly what she needs and only gets those items or less. It's always more. So I said, no more going to the grocery store.

54:36So you go to the grocery store then? Yeah, most of it. Well, that's weird to not let your wife go to the grocery store. Why? We have a conversation around budgeting, around what we're able to spend on. And we allocate from there instead of just saying, no, you can't go to the grocery store. I understand that. But if it saves an argument of her just constantly keep on doing the same thing, then why not I just do it? You know what saves an argument is? That's just avoiding forever and letting a building then blow up. But I have no problem. Into another one more meeting before divorce again. I have no problem just going to the grocery store.

55:02Sure, but you're gone sometimes. Oh, you're talking about - Oftentimes, a lot. You're gone a lot. Whenever I come back, I make sure that Sunday I go to the grocery store and get what I need to do for the week. I plan accordingly. I say, hey, I got this for you for the week or I got this for me for lunch. For you for the week, for me. This is so weird. Maybe she is right. that you guys are more like roommates than a married couple. Yeah, I think so. You're good with that? That's what you want? No, that's not what I want. Well, it seems like you're the one encouraging it with how you're managing it and how you're treating her.

55:32I'm just trying to stop an argument because I feel like we just communicate just for the fact of just saying that we just talk. Like no thing actually comes out of our communicating. Because when we were given actual tactics of how to communicate, you don't want to do that stuff. That's not true. The spoon conversation, things like that. I don't need to hold a spoon in my hand to know who's talking. Okay, well, it's a fucking tactic of how to communicate that we were taught, yet we don't use any of these things that we were taught. Okay, so when we did therapy before and the therapist said, we came to the conclusion that I make everything just sound like a suggestion and not an actual answer.

56:06I changed the way that I said things. I made more decisive statements. It was either yes or no. And then once I did that, you still weren't listening to me. and then I told you I didn't want to be that person that's just yelling at you to make sure that you listen to me even though you said that's the only way that you listen. So I changed how I communicate and nothing changed. So holding a spoon does not give me faith that all of a sudden we're going to learn how to effectively communicate. Okay. The spoon was a tactic that we did. That's just one example of different things that we were taught and how to better communicate.

56:41I understand that and I gave you something that we actually went to therapy for. Therapy That therapy that we did Like those two times Like Oh two sessions Come on that's not effective Literally thank you And she wasn't a couples therapist She was my therapist That I was like Can I bring my husband in Because You shouldn't do that Into individual therapy Well No you're talking about I'm talking about the first one The premarital therapist That was like one thing Okay but I'm saying Before we got married You said Before there was Actual issues between us Because we were still These are the same issues But at Okay But why I do recognize So before everything went down last year, we almost got divorced.

57:17I was living in the Lululand thinking like nothing was a problem. Everything was fine. Wait, really? Were you bringing up issues? He would bring things up like suggestions. And you were just ignoring them? No. How are you bringing them up? Jokingly sometimes. How are you bringing them up? It's his answer. I say I don't think that this is a healthy way of going about this. I think this is taking away a lot of. Okay. For example, when we were truck driving, she would constantly stop for a lot. for whatever reasons whether yeah pee breaks and then the pee breaks turned into she was having conversations with her family members and she had to solve a lot of problems driving no and so she had to stop driving like pull over to help out with whatever that the family had going on and so they used to be very dependent on me on and off that's not a problem but it was every single day and so whenever she's only allowed to drive the eight hours that she's supposed to that puts me behind on the hours that i need to be driving to make up like for but did you actually bring up the issue yes i said that you needed to stop doing this like nothing was wrong he would say things like maybe this is not the right way to handle this maybe and do you not get the hint or you yeah i was at the time are you not no how are you not then um now what's different actually like take into account what he's saying and like look internally and like okay he's afraid to start arguments i don't know he's afraid to have conversations i don't know he's afraid and now i actually have conversations before i couldn't even communicate he doesn't you do he He doesn't.

58:43Yeah. No, he doesn't. Yeah. Because before I would like, I don't know what to say. I would shut down. And now I actually speak up. I give you my opinions. I tell you what I don't like, what this, that, and the other. No, every time he brings up his honesty, he just says you're mean. That's what he said. That's what he needs. That's what he likes. What? Because when I was nice and sweet, he never listened to me. So now I have to be bitchy and I have to be mean for him to be receptive to anything I say. Is that what you want? Who likes that? You don't like that. What are we doing right now? No, I was just being nonsense.

59:13Yeah. No, like I tell you what needs to be done. You reply back after I lay it down on how it needs to be done. You say, I feel like I'm not enough. I feel like I don't do enough. What I do isn't enough. And it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. That's what happens whenever I say how we need to do better. And so whenever you reply with that, I don't, what am I supposed to do? I just, I think I speak on nothing but facts. and you just speak on all emotions. And I can't argue with your emotions and that's why I just stop arguing and stop talking. Emotions are impossible to argue with. It really is.

59:51Because this is not logical. It never is. I mean, that is true. And I deal with that every day on this show. Your feeling is a feeling. I think I take a lot of what he says into consideration, but it doesn't separate the fact that we're in a marriage where feelings do matter. Feelings do matter, yes. And he completely disregards those. But if the feeling is the entire argument and outweighs the reality of a situation, that becomes an impossible conversation. Maybe we've been having a lot of impossible conversations because I've been very emotional lately because things have just been really, really bad.

1:00:23Again, so we're headed towards the divorce again. Why are things really, really bad? That's what I tried to ask at the beginning. You guys can't answer. If things are really, really bad, what is it? I need insight into this household, guys. What's really bad is that I just don't think that she does enough. I was relying on her to take off with this coffee cart. Not even take off. Like I'm okay with. That's not all. I don't want to say where it's at, but I was putting faith that she was going to be putting more work into it to be at a better place. And that's not what's happening. It doesn't always have to be just me who's putting in all the work.

1:00:54So I'm not doing anything? It's exhausting. So I'm not doing anything for your business? No, I'm not talking about like you're doing something for my business, but like it's summer vacation. You don't have as much workload as you did, but what are you doing? I sent you a whole like sheet of companies and people that we need to go talk to to take off with this business did I not but you just give ideas you just give ideas can you like make plans did I send you this stuff yeah okay and so I think we can agree that my strong suit is not talking to people and putting a bubbly face to these people right so why is that not something that you do i present the idea to you on this is who we need to go talk to and you never follow up on any of that my schedule's already full and then how you don't even know how many like events that i have signed you up for that just didn't go through i do because i got the calls that they did i did put your email on there so you do know actually i'll take it back sorry i just feel like the ones that i signed up for that he thinks that i'm sitting there not doing anything but i actually am signing up for events and doing all these things.

1:01:57No, that's the thing. You're just only relying on farmers markets. You're not actually getting up and walking and talking to anybody. There's so many people that you can actually meet in the neighborhood, in the town, and you're just not doing that. Well, you said you were going to go figure out the Rotary Club thing months ago, and you just yesterday told me what you figured out with that. Okay, so actually it was a misread of mine at the beginning. I honestly thought this was... Because it was weird. It was like you were like, oh, I want our business to do so well, and you're like, oh, he has a dream job.

1:02:26I really want that. and you're, it's like, I was like, wait, what actually is the problem? You see, no, this is a complete disaster. This thing, this passion project, this business, you guys, this is like the fight. Yeah, it is. Because even before, like up to this point, I think this is, I mean, that's insane. That entire, like I zoned out there for a second. Just how you guys are being. She was, I think the, all the products that she was buying, I thought it was overly expensive. I didn't know anything about like any of the coffee stuff But I just looked into it for a little bit I immediately found her Cheaper coffee that she could be using without sacrificing the quality I found her cheaper coffee cups to be using So every like from the very beginning i've been finding Cheaper ways to do what she's been doing I think i've been more than helpful in everything and I haven't given her a hard time about that stuff I got frustrated because it seems like i'm always finding the cheaper way to do something or to But why are you upset about helping me?

1:03:22I'm not upset about helping you. I'm doing literally everything I can to help you. I just want you to take initiative charge in your business. This isn't my business. I'm doing, you're doing like 10 % and I'm doing the other 90%. The 10 % I'm doing saves us so much money. Right, and thank you. But just because you're having to do 10%, you're bitching and whining about it. As if like, I shouldn't have to do this. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I don't ask you to come help me with my job. that's something i took on you don't want to be involved in the coffee car i have no problem helping you yes you do you clearly do that's what you literally just said the 10 you don't want to do no i said the 10 because you minimize the 10 like it was nothing the 10 saved us a whole lot of money the 10 is putting you in front of more people cool.

1:04:15I will not ask for help on the coffee cart. You need the help. You're not doing anything. I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing the other 90%. Cool. The 90 % the once a month? It's going to, I've booked pretty much every single weekend from now until the end of August. Yeah, I agree. You did. You did do that. Because it was the only dates available. I would have been booked more previous to now if the dates were available. Okay, so why are you only relying on farmers markets to sell the stuff? I'm not. I'm also trying to venture out and do the weddings. I have a wedding booked. It's just the first of many that are going to come.

1:04:49So who's the wedding with? Your athlete. Okay. So that wouldn't have been possible without me, right? Yeah, I'm not minimizing the help that you do give. I'm saying the little help that you give, you bitch and moan about it. So don't help. Okay. Then the coffee cart's never going to succeed then. Oh, because I can't do it without you. You haven't been. I have been. You just went over how you're not making any money. and then it would have been worse if I didn't find cheaper solutions on everything that you were already doing for so long you couldn't tell me how much their cups were no I did tell you how much no eventually you couldn't tell me how much the supplies cost you because I didn't have it in front of me I'm not memorizing every single little thing but I have things written down you ask me when we're in the middle of doing something I can't pull it up out of my ass if I don't know it.

1:05:42I want to give you an exact number. I just thought you would know the business on the back of your hand in terms of how much everything costs. You want me to memorize all these things? Yeah. No, I have it written down. I'm organized. I have it written down because I know I don't have the mental capacity to be memorizing every single little thing. Okay, you're just organized just to say you're organized. You're not actually doing anything with the organization. Okay. Did that answer any questions? I mean, in general, honestly, guys, that's the disagreement right now? That's the fight? That's one of the fights.

1:06:13What's the other one? Oh, what's the other one? My emotional stuff. That doesn't matter. No, I guess it does if it's a fight. What's your emotional shit, you crazy? I've been depressed. For what? He doesn't get it because my brain decides not to make certain hormones. That's how depression works for some people. Maybe. It's not just I'm sad. It's literally there's something wrong with my brain right now. So far, it's sounding like a self-diagnosis. No, it's been diagnosed. And I just, I recognize when it comes up. But he doesn't understand? What's his conversation? He doesn't get it. He's like, these things happen and you should still be able to do everything.

1:06:48It literally is so hard to just get out of bed every morning. So she has an official diagnosis and you're just like dismissing it? So if you get diagnosed with something like 15 years ago, does it last forever? Yes, no, maybe. Yeah, maybe it's a diagnosis. Just because I don't go to therapy like regularly because we can't afford it. doesn't mean that the diagnosis disappears. Right. And so, yes, I guess I'm completely dismissing her depression state right now. But the way that I look at it is we're not in a spot where we can just be Allowing it? doing nothing. If you can identify your problem and you're not doing anything to make the problem better, then it just feels like you're an excuse.

1:07:31I literally invite myself every single day to just get out of bed and do the things that I need to do. To go to work. I have to do that too. But you are not going through this.

1:07:49So what does that look like in the household, this conversation, guys? How are you surviving? If he doesn't even believe in your own diagnosis, how do you make it from here? I don't know. I couldn't do that. I don't know. I mean, a real diagnosis is a real diagnosis. Yes, I agree. There's lots of TikTok diagnoses bullshit. like is that incredibly dismissive borderline just bad as a partner

1:08:18is it is it repeat your question i don't know for a second is that not just bad as a partner yeah then why are you with someone that doesn't even believe in your own mental health shit that's real diagnosed when was it diagnosed before i met you okay i just didn't what's your point? I just never saw anything or. Okay. So this is the deal. Anytime that work situations get really hard, coincidentally, something with her mental state always is correlated to that. Then why be with her? Yeah. Why be with me? Why'd you come back to me? Because I thought things got better. Like you talked about how you had a better work ethic.

1:08:56I mean, I saw that you had a better work ethic whenever you were at that trucking gravel place, whenever you got the accident. But I just thought that things would just keep on getting better. And so like you taking, wanting to do this coffee cart, puts you in that position to have to be like that. But you coming back to me was riding on life, just continuing to get better instead of like living normal life with somebody else as a partner where things go up and down. I understand things go up and down. Like I'm not delusional. Like not everything is always going up. But why is it every single time that you have a rough time at work, you always say, oh, I'm depressed.

1:09:31Well, you can't use it as a crutch, as a fallback. No, I'm not using it as a crutch. If you weaponize it in the relationship. It sounds like a little, if you have a tough time at work, you can't just be like, oh, my depression. I think what triggered my, no, it's triggers. So what triggered my depression is the fact that I'm a waitress and I have men all the freaking time hitting on me. And I tried and he didn't want me to. He told me to stay. He didn't give a damn that I was getting hit on at work. You didn't care that she was uncomfortable getting hit on at work? No, he didn't. He laughed it off He made a joke out of it But if she's uncomfortable That's not good Why would somebody be a waitress or a bartender then If they're thinking that they're not going to get hit on Yeah maybe but if she's uncomfortable Wouldn't she support that?

1:10:12She had another chance to get a job at a church The church is an hour and 15 minutes away She said she would take it If she stayed at her mom's place That's not even 10 minutes away from there All of a sudden she had the chance to take the job And she said I'm not going to stay at my mom's anymore If I do that No that's not what I said I said, do you actually not care that I stay at my mom's? He didn't even agree on what happened. No, he's just like making the words, whatever he thought it was being said. But what was said is, I just asked, are you going to be comfortable with me staying at my mom most of the week and being away from home?

1:10:47And he said, no? No, there was no answer. It was a back and forth of like, but you said you would be okay with that. I just wanted to know whether you cared or not. Part of what was going on, we were actually at conference. So it's like our biggest track meet of the year. So she was sending this to me while I was doing that at the same time. So I could have misread her text message. But I know I replied back with the deal was that you taking this job was that you were going to stay at your mom's. Right? Yeah. Okay. So then how is that not an answer? Because I was asking you. I said the deal for you taking this job is you staying at your mom's.

1:11:25Okay. How is that not an answer? That's not an answer. Kind of, I don't know. I mean, is it the most clear? No, but it's like you can insinuate kind of like the, when he was trying to tell you to do better before. I just wanted to know whether he cared, whether he would want me to come home like every other week or something. And then eventually I said that, would you want me to come home every other week and things like that? And he was like, the deal was for you to stay there. So clearly you don't care that I'm not home. You don't care if you don't see me. I think dude just gets down to business.

1:11:55Yeah, money's pretty important. Okay, not really. You're doing D2 activities. Well, I said I'm also working on a way out of that too. Uh-huh. But. Okay, this affirm has$3 ,046.84 on it. Minimum fee payment is$602.23, essentially. And it's for bullshit. It's Amazon, Nike, bullshit. Some grocery, we're affirming groceries. That's where we are, guys. Come on. It was for the business. No, well, that's stupid. You're affirming shit for your business. That's not a good sign. Okay. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Just business shit, bullshit, bullshit. It's all stupid. What are you doing? I don't know.

1:12:35Are they all in paying for us or financed? Some of them have been paid for, but finance. Are they pay in for? Oh, finance, finance, finance, finance, finance, finance. So we're talking like a 36 % interest rate, ladies and gentlemen. For her business that makes no money, 36 % interest rate. The S &P 500, one of the best indexes you can be a part of, averages 10 % a year. That's considered a good return. She's at a 36 % loss. Is it really that much interest? I don't think it was. I thought it was like 24. Pull it up, pull it up, pull it up, pull it up. Pull it up! And I want to see your Amazon too.

1:13:05Okay. Dude, it is literally so stupid. It is the stupidest disagreement I've had on the show. A coffee cart. What the fuck? Everything. We've had cheaters. We've had abusers. We've had everything. And it's a coffee cart that is causing this issue, guys? It's so stupid. So it should be easier? It's the dumbest thing for you guys to argue about. I don't understand. It's don't get into it or do. Just like, come on. It's a hobby. That could be a big business one day. Could be, but it's not. And you guys don't make money. So just shut the up. Yes. 36 % interest. There you go. Figured it out. You just don't look at shit and you do it.

1:13:46So the big business could be someday. No, you're a big business for a firm. Okay. That's what you're a big business for. Don't even look at the shit you're doing. There's 18 things in her cart. That I'm not going to buy. Then why is it in your cart? So you just, you didn't look at the interest? That you might want to buy at 36 % interest. You look at the interest? I saw the total price that it gives. So if it's, it was like$26 extra, like things like that. Spending so much shit on the business on here. But it's just, listen, you're putting so much money into this business on Amazon Affirm. Here's your things from the Amazon cart.

1:14:18A lot of us with the business, a lot of it's not as well, but a lot of it is. and it's just so much stupid business. Here's her very, guys, her super special, nobody else does it. I have not seen anybody else do cajeta. Her special little sauce is a sauce from just Amazon that she gets that anyone else can get. But they don't. So she's not like homemaking it or what the, or they don't, they don't. That's why it doesn't have like 500 five-star reviews. Fuck you. Yes, people are getting it. Shut the fuck off. What are you talking about? I haven't seen any other coffee shops do a cajeta drink. Girl, you live in a town with two restaurants.

1:14:54No shit you're not seeing. I go other places. Yeah, so go to the coffee shop right down the street then and send me that they have it. Yeah, they don't have it. They, a singular coffee shop that I pick up? Yeah. Like many, I've been doing a lot of research. Not many people do the cajeta. It doesn't matter. It's just, it's a flavor, okay? What's it called? Cajeta mamada? Cajeta. Cajeta mamada? Quemada. Quemada. That's what the flavor's called? No, my, well, yeah, the cajeta, period. Oh, there it is. Let's see. Okay. In the area, there's Mignogna Coffee, Dime Cafe, Veracruz All Natural, which, by the way, that's not even like a...

1:15:33That place is a chain. Brew at home. Yeah, no, shut up. It's everywhere. Okay. Girl, you're in Texas. It's everywhere. You are what Texas looks like. Not me, you. So don't... You can't say you did your research. We just did that in two seconds. Just because a handful of them also do it doesn't mean all the other ones do it. Okay, the goalposts are really being pushed now, aren't they? Okay. I do homemade syrups. Those are homemade. If you want to land a high-paying job but don't have experience or a degree, then you need to learn about course careers. It is the easiest way to land the high-paying career that you've been dreaming of.

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1:17:52Link in the description below. Okay, that was bought on Amazon. No, that wasn't a syrup. Like, my actual syrups are homemade. Oh, my goodness. Uh-huh. One main financial. What's going on with this, guys? This is insane. This is$18 ,791. All the debt we had before we got married, and we had actually paid a lot of it off. It doesn't make any sense. I don't understand doing that. Listen, we have personal loans with incredible rates and everything at CalebHammer.com because I like good debt, but it doesn't make sense for people like you to get into. And that's what I preach. I like credit cards, but not for you.

1:18:25You're not credit card people. This makes no sense. Why consolidate a debt if you're not going to fix your behavior? Because then you're just going to end up with double the debt. Yeah. At the time we were truck driving. Oh, I was still truck driving. So consolidating, we had gotten better at paying off debt. We had actually a little better, but I haven't fully fixed the behavior. We didn't fully fix it, but we thought it was the right option to do at the time because we would just knock that out quickly. So why if we have this high, insane minimum payment, high balance, probably bad interest rate.

1:18:58Oh, really bad interest rate. Basically a credit card at 24%. If we have this, why the f*** are we opening businesses that don't make money and investing money in businesses? And that investment, by the way, is all on 34 % interest, 36 % interest rate debt. Why are we doing that if we can't even pay off the previous consolidation, huh? Huh? Can someone answer that? We can't even pay off the previous consolidation, so we take out an investment in a business at 36 % interest? That doesn't make a penny? Huh? That is a good question. Huh? Does anyone have an answer? There are answers. There are logical conclusions here.

1:19:30No, there isn't. Where is it? Tell me, please. I can't find it. I think we were desperately trying to figure out what to do. Nope. That's not the answer. That's not the answer. Why? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you're desperately trying to figure it out, why is the answer take out a 36 % interest rate debt on something that makes zero dollars, please? Building a business. Instead of like, well, there is building a business which takes money of which you did a 36 % interest debt. That is an option out there. There is like another option called get a job. I tried. You tried. No one hired you?

1:20:02Literally. Okay, go to another town. You guys bought in a town that has zero opportunity because you guys are freaks. I was applying to jobs in the towns that were like an hour away. Okay. You have to move somewhere. You have to move to DFW or something. You have to move to places without predictability. I applied for jobs in the DFW and nothing. Okay, then you're a broken individual or your resume is completely broken and you just need help. Probably. Okay, everywhere. Dude, Civil Goat has it and there's Civil Goats all over Austin. Cafe Java has it. Plaza Colombian Coffee here has it. Dame Cafe has it.

1:20:33Well, good thing we don't sell it in Austin then, okay? But that's the thing. You're saying no one has it and that's just a little part. Austin is the even Fort Worth has higher population than Austin. This is a basic thing. San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, Fort Worth all larger population cities than Austin. Right, but we don't live anywhere near those places. No, it's an example because you said no one else does it. Yes even here in a smaller city everyone else does it. So up near you, yes there are places you are not special. How much was the church willing to pay an area. It was going to be 21 an hour.

1:21:12Why the f*** don't you get that job? It was part-time. Good. That's what you need. You need a part-time job on top of what you're doing instead of starting this business. That was the goal and I was told not to take it. By him? We just went over how I didn't tell you not to take it. He didn't say that. Come on. We did go through that. It doesn't make sense. You're literally you're thinking I was making zero dollars. You took out a lot of debt for. So it's like obviously getting a job would be better than that. That was the only job in this entire time that I got. Nope. Actually, you've made negative money, so nope.

1:21:42You made negative money. I went to work as a delivery driver in a pizza place because there was nobody else hiring me. Perfect. That's a job. Do that. Yeah, I did that. And now I'm getting more money than I was doing that. No, you'd be doing that in adjacent to what you're doing now. No coffee shop. Again, our choice was take out 36 % interest rate debt on something that doesn't make any money. Deliver pizza. Deliver pizza makes money. I would deliver pizza. Barely is still more money than debt. I don't understand. How can you not understand that? I don't understand how you don't see that I'm still working a full-time job like I was.

1:22:19But instead of the coffee. I'm saying you keep the full-time job here. And instead of getting the coffee cart, you get the part-time job. It's not against your full-time job. How many hours a week you're working? Not the coffee It varies It's lately It's been I do double shifts Most of the time Five, six days a week How much? What is that? Like Oh my gosh 50 Let's say 50, 60 50 to 60 hours a week Dude then you're 50 to 60 hours a week? No I don't think that's Because you're only working You're not even working The full days So you make it 60 I am working full days I'm working Two of them are like full days And then the rest of the days So you're making$8 an hour?

1:23:02It's I work on tips. I work on tips. On average, you're making$80 an hour, then you need to go. Guys, you have to move somewhere. There is a reality, and it's capitalism. It's socialism, too, because it's still connected with, it doesn't matter. That town's not entitled to have, or you're not entitled to have that town. You need to move somewhere with opportunities. That's the reality. Yeah. That's it. But that means he leaves. He makes no money. I don't give a f***. He'll go find literally a high school job in any large metro that will pay him double. And Texas? That's fine. once he gets to the point where he has a certification.

1:23:35He's in a D2 bullshit. He can go f*** it up. But that's not my issue. My issue is I just feel like I can't rely on you to do what you need to do in order to take care of your side of being a grown-up. I have been taking care of my side. Bills have been getting paid. We just went over how much the infer... There you go, breaking things. You didn't break it. Just put it on a f***ing magnet. Do you know how magnets work? It's not very sticky. I just didn't think things would be falling apart here. It's not sticky. We don't know that it's a magnet. it's not sticking magnets are not sticky they're magnets I don't know what's a magnet so we just went over how you took out all of that money on the firm for your business yeah so I think that shows that I can't rely on you on terms of how the money is being spent I trusted that you had it under control or knew what you were doing with that I guess I mean I should have asked more questions whenever you said that you didn't have much more money left in a firm or you had so much in a firm.

1:24:33But that's my fault for not asking. But I didn't think that over$3 ,000 was in a firm, not to mention the interest rate that was on top of that. I've shown you everything I've done for the business. I asked you multiple times how much money was being spent. And I showed you. I literally have shown you. Sapphire Preferred, what is this? What's going on? The leftover from that is pretty much what's like leftover from our wedding. Put a wedding on. Guys, you don't do anything else. not debt. It still takes six years to pay off if you do minimum payments. Now, you do a little more than that, which I don't even know if that's the right strategy when we have other things to pay off that are worse, i.e.

1:25:09affirm higher interest rate and lower balances. It makes sense to pay them off in both the avalanche and snowball method, so this makes no sense. But interest is accruing at$34.56. You owe $1 ,540.09 at a$49 minimum to the payment. You've had, I believe, two late fees this year so far. Yeah. For f***ing why. What the f*** is wrong with you guys? Pathetic. That's why I started paying the bills because he would have late fees a lot. Okay, then you're not reliable either. Yeah. At least I pay the things I need to be paid on time. You are made for each other. Neither of you are reliable in what you do.

1:25:47Just two late payments isn't. Yes, that's extra money that you then owe. I understand it was a mess up, but just saying someone's reliable for just messing up once or twice. But it's happened a lot more than twice. By the time of the fourth month of this year, which is when the statement came in. Fifth month. So it's like, continue that average, you'd be at like four or five by the end of the year. Right, and so that's... Except not because she took it over because you're pathetic. Yeah, I just need to... Because you can't manage it. You can't even coach your own life. I was trying to rely on her to help me out with that.

1:26:18Which I do. I make sure that bills are paid on time. Okay, Freedom Flex. Why are we purchasing on a card that we're only making a minimum monthly payment that is accrued in interest that we cannot pay off? I think that one's mine and it's groceries that I purchased on that card. I think. Brookshires? Groceries. 14 hours of groceries? That's how little groceries we buy at a time. I thought you weren't allowed to get groceries. Probably when he was gone. I mean, it's not a strict rule. It sounded like it. It sounded like there was an extreme lack of trust. Okay, groceries aren't a thing you can't get, but why are you getting them on a card that you can't pay off that is accruing interest?

1:26:52That makes no sense. Why make it even get worse? Why didn't you have any money? Where's the money going? That doesn't make any sense. Bills. Bills? It might have been just, no, I don't know. No, they're bills. Okay.

1:27:05Or minimums. Or like$250 going out to eat, unknown shopping, and another$250, miscellaneous bullshit, at least$100. So potential bullshit, minimum$600. How can you not have any money? There you go. Spend it on bullshit. What the f*** are you talking about? Other large purchases,$745. I don't even know what that is. That could be bullshit. It could be not. It could be half. Who knows? But at least$600 on bullshit. No shit, you didn't have any money. Yeah. That's what happens when you spend money on bullshit.

1:27:34$1 ,182.51 higher than your previous month because you spent. Yeah. Doesn't matter if it's for groceries. You chose to put it on there and it's accruing in interest. You can read hundreds by year end. What did you guys spend on that wedding that you had to put on a card? Oh, what was it? Oh, you guys have credit one. Of course you do. That was my first credit credit. 15 ,000. Dude, you guys couldn't afford that to save your lives. At the time, we were - It's not even that crazy. You guys just can't afford shit. At the time, we were - Truck driving. So it wasn't an issue. Yeah, but why are we putting it on debt and then we're still paying today?

1:28:13Because when we got those credit cards, it had like that special where like we get like 5%, so we ended up getting like 1 ,000-something. Sure, but you have to pay off the credit card. Yeah, but you do that, then you pay off the credit card. That's why you guys aren't credit card people. If the job stuff didn't happen, then it would have been paid off for and it would have been an issue. We were really good. If we didn't get speeding tickets relentlessly and run over living things, yeah, who would have thought? Okay, credit one, one of the worst credit cards ever. $407.98,$30 minimum fee payment, interest, fees, it's all.

1:28:41Yeah, credit one's the worst. Yeah, it was just my first credit. It was my first credit card ever. That was your first one? Mm-hmm. Living the Mexican dream, aren't you? Okay, capital one. Yes. Whose? Mine. Okay, only making the minimum. Right. Right. I also use that for groceries. Why on an interest accruing card? Because you don't have any money because we spend it on bullshit. $310.98,$25 minimum monthly payment. Very low. Interest accruing. Bullshit. 28.99 % interest of death. NMF. NFM. What is it? At a furniture store. Why? Oh, you guys are just f***ing. You're everything. Insurance premium.

1:29:27You got insurance in your f***ing seven-year payment plan furniture. Oh, you guys are f***ing. I got that when we were separated and I was making$50 a week. So you should go to Facebook Marketplace regardless. Guys, your argument for I had money so I could get it, yet you still put it on a credit card. That makes no sense. I paid half of it up front of the purchase I made. I didn't want to keep sleeping on the same bed. Good. Facebook Marketplace. $56. I know you wouldn't really need to or want to, but like when I moved down to Austin after sleeping on an air mattress for 69 months while I was paying off debts, then I went and got like a$400 mattress.

1:30:07It's not the greatest thing in the world, but that's what I could afford. Do what you can afford, not what you can't. Could afford it. No, because you put it on a credit card. I wasn't making$2 ,000 a week. No, because you put it on a credit card, just like your wedding. No, because you put it on a credit card. Shut the fuck up. That's fair. $56 a month, minimum monthly payment. Insurance premium on it. $1 ,254.19 owed. It's deferred interest accruing.

1:30:33Oh, you're getting interest accruing on it. Oh, because it's deferred and it will hit, oh, in like two months. Hundreds will be added to that balance. You guys are f***ing. And you didn't even know that, did you? No. Of course not. Okay, United card. What's going on with this? Oh, we're spending on a card that we can't pay off. Is that for groceries? No. Oh, great. Oh, basically max out a$467.69 with a minimum monthly payment of$40 and a$500 limit. What is it? I don't know. It's a spectrum. We put our utilities on a card that we can't pay off that is accruing in interest. Why pay penalties on your, essentially, interest on your utilities?

1:31:15Why do that? It's stupid. I thought we were paying that off. I thought that the money for the utilities was going on there, and then we were just turning around and paying that. No, not with your$40 monthly payment. I mean, your utility payment is$65. It's just going up. Oh, that's where the internet is. And then interest accrues on that. And then also this card must have an annual fee of like$219, or you've had late fees, or both. I got it canceled. Well, it was supposed to get canceled. Nope. We went to the bank to get it canceled. Nope. You guys are so irresponsible. You don't follow anything that's happening.

1:31:47It's okay. Care credit, who's this? Mine, and it should be zero. percent interest. Well, so is your furniture thing, but there's deferred interest. So let's see what happens with this. $3 ,051.05. What happened? That was, I had got an Invisalign years ago. Oh my gosh. Years ago. So paying for it. Years ago. Four years to pay off. You've paid interest of$141.00. Yeah, but so there was like two months once I lost my job that I couldn't pay and I made a deal with them. They closed it down and they said it'll be zero percent interest. that doesn't happen again. We have another credit one. Who? Mine.

1:32:23Guys, this debt is extensive. It's both y 'all's fault. Don't try to blame each other like you did in the beginning. You're both. $309.54 with a minimum of the payment of, oh, we're past due. Oh, we're past due three months. That one, they had given me. It's a$30 normal minimum of the payment. You owe 99 because you're stupid. So we did a thing where the credit protection, the credit protection. No. So they paid for the minimums for the past six months and it was supposed to keep going and it didn't keep going. And they didn't tell me that it didn't keep going. Why should they have to tell you?

1:33:01Log in. Manage your finances. Use dollar wise. No, I did. I called them and I said, hey, like, can we get, I need, I continue need the help. Three months behind. And they said yes, that it was going to continue to happen and it didn't. Who has$52 ,142 to student loans? Why are you only at a$56 a month? This is going to accrue in just forever. You're never going to pay that off. Yeah, I know. Probably income-based because you have no income because you're D2. Yeah, that's exactly it. It's on income-based. And so I was making a chunk, a dent into it. We're bleeping it. What school do you work at?

1:33:39Never heard of that. So part of the reason why it's so much is that I... Why would they go D1? It's a money suck. Kids are paying more for their college so they can be D1 and fail at everything. It makes no sense. So stupid. So what degree did you get? Communications and then a minor in kinesiology. Sure, why not? $52 ,149.69. Nenimity payment, of course. only more interest accrues almost more interest accrues in 10 days on this loan than you make on a minimum monthly payment. Your minimum is $56.28 income based stupid as of course pathetic. Yeah, you literally just went D1. That's crazy. The Southland Conference.

1:34:33I've never heard that in my life. Are they the worst conference in D1? They have to be. No, there's lots. There's lots of conferences in D1. Are they the worst conference in D1? No, I don't think so. I mean, there's lots. They have to be. No, there's plenty of other worse ones. Conferences? Aren't there like 10 conferences? No, there's lots. There's lots of majors. Well, I'm just thinking about the sports that matter. Sure. Football, hockey, baseball, basketball, maybe soccer. Soccer. So of the ones that matter, there's like football has power five, really power four now, really power two actually.

1:35:13And then the group of five of which the Southland does not exist. Right. So, I mean, in terms of those, then yes, they're way worse than all of those. Oh, shit. That's brutal because like I went to a group of five school and they weren't good. Yeah. Great at hockey, decent at soccer, really bad at football. But you're telling me you're worse than them? Fuck. Good luck. Why the f*** are kids having to pay more for that shit? That's pathetic. Who has the Chase checking account? Mine? Dude, you're literally negative$317. You started negative$15. Divorces, man. This is the worst thing ever. What checking account has ever ended with negative$317 on this show?

1:35:53That's crazy. Is that mine? Or is that yours? No, not mine. Guys, this is insane. Bullshit. Something closet. Ace Hardware, Zellin' Out Money. This is... Oh, then that's mine then. Recurring Netflix, Zell, Zell, Zell. Oh, yes. That's you. You have Netflix. Is that mine? Oh, you're the... Divorce her. Appleville, Home Depot, Ross Stores, Marshalls, bullshit. Affirm, affirm, affirm, affirm, affirm. That was mine. Home Depot, restaurant, thing, cha, firm, Amazon, affirm, affirm. Bullshit. stupid affirm reoccurring apple blow started negative ended more negative some bullshit you overdrafted like 30 times this year this is insane your chase not even much better started with six bucks ended with 55 or actually nope that was her savings went from six bucks to 55 even though she's overdrafting and losing all benefit your checking account ended with$23.

1:36:55Not much better. Amazon. Amazon.

1:37:03I think, what's, you talking about the payments? Like what the charges? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why, why, why,

1:37:12why exactly seven weeks ago is there a $40 payment to divorce service? No, because it was on a monthly payment plan. Oh, that's your previous.

1:37:28Peacock, Marketplace, Cable, AMC, Bullshit, Sonic Driving, Midnight Craving. At least he's not going negative, but you're still spending all your money on bullshit. Stopping in and getting some bullshit. Probably some energy drinks to get gamer subs instead. It tastes better, I promise. Amazon, Affirm, Zelle. So stupid, dude.

1:37:50What? Oh, a car? Yeah, that's her car. What is it? It's a GMC Terrain 2016. A 15 % interest rate? No. Yes? No, that's the... What's the interest? Yeah, no interest. So this is like to a family? A friend, yeah. Great. $5 ,950. Minimum payment. You sometimes do$250,$200,$300,$300. $300? Okay.

1:38:21Fucking stupid. Good death. Collections,$30 ,000? Yeah. For something? A car? Apartment? You got repoed? Mm-hmm. Two repos. Of course you guys did. You're made for each other. City, yeah. So$30 ,000 repos. F*** insane. That's just one. What's your other repo? Both of them are under him. $59. This is stupid. Yeah, both of them are under him. What was the... Here's the mortgage. at a 7.3 % interest rate. Jeez. Yeah, I would sell this. You'd get a lower rate anyway. Well, maybe not with your guys' credit. $172 ,657.34. What's the house worth? We bought it for$179. Monthly payment,$1 ,751. FHA, f***.

1:39:12All right, guys. So even if we wanted to sell it, we can't until next year because we got to wait three years. Otherwise, we pay the minimum. Why did you guys do that? Why harm yourselves with a home purchase? Americans' obsessions hurt them constantly. It's so stupid. It makes no sense. You guys are financial morons. I'm so done. I'm so done. So income. Oh, your side job doesn't count. $4 ,100. All right, let's get these debts. Obviously, we know the mortgage. That is$1 ,751. Collections, nothing. Could sue you for that. Should sue you for that. You know, they'll garnish your wages potentially.

1:39:49Actually, I'll get a court order. Seen more and more of that on the Caleb Hammer show link below. People are loving that. We thought that their insurance or whatever took care of that when cars get repoed. And it just like shits on the credit and disappears. No, as far as I know. I don't know what you're talking about. Is there something I'm missing here? Something different happened that I wasn't aware of? No, my thought was we can barely afford it as is. Yeah, no shit. So we had to do something to get rid of it. And I'm going to follow up with them to see what I need to do to do low monthly payments.

1:40:32Guys, what's your gas, electric, utilities, everything combined? 300? 300? 300 to 400? 300, yeah, 350. Okay. Phone bill? 375 What's wrong with you guys Once you pay off your phone Switch to Helium If T-Mobile's good in your area It follows that same kind of service But that's with your family And everything right Yeah Well do they pay you Oh my goodness When I can't pay Gas a Vroom Vroom Drive Drive how much It ends up being about 60 a week No not even 250 a week Because we don't drive that much 250? 50 50 a week Oh okay 200 bucks Car insurance 163 guys your house is literally worth what you bought you would have to write a check to sell your house even after the three year thing okay necessary food 600 bucks use the meal plan use the meal prep that's based on HUB pricing it's perfectly fine Walmart all that good stuff works TP fine anything else needed to survive toilet paper toothbrush changes every single month what the category is for but it is$200 medical healthcare their co-pays monthly basis Oh, yeah, so it goes through his...

1:41:44What's the co-pays on a monthly basis? 20. Gym? Is there a gym? No. Okay, subscriptions, I'll try to get 40 bucks. You have any pets? Yes, two. What? Two more kibooch. $100 pet insurance, how much for pet food? 50 a month. Okay, anything else that needs to be in this budget that I have not taken an account for? If you guys even break even, I will be so fucking surprised. If you do, these are some big numbers. These are some big numbers. We've considered bankruptcy. Well, that literally might be the only option. Yeah, you guys are underwater by 1 ,400 a month, 1 ,300. No, not bankruptcy, unless you can follow your budget and actually prove you changed your behavior for at least a quarter, for three months.

1:42:38If not, you'll end up back here on the show again in two years. We've seen it before from other bankruptcy people. Oh, yeah. We've seen it before. You're not special. So you have to change your behavior or some consolidations. Those work too, but you got to change your behavior first or better yet. Listen, even just renting somewhere cheap in a place with opportunities while you pay you on this mortgage for a year, then cut your loss, learn the lesson and literally just go make as a household 8 ,000 hours a month because you too easily can. And you'll be fine. you'll be able to pay off the stat a few years and then shut the up and don't make these mistakes again you guys live in the literal middle of nowhere Tyler's the closest large town but I have your address pulled up and you're literally nowhere like you have to move to a place with opportunity it's just the reality of the situation this is pathetic that's it guys that's it hammer financial score this is you guys are spending in a budget you overspend zero out of ten debt there's collections zero out of ten emergency fund there's nothing zero out of ten retirement i didn't see anything zero out of ten real estate at least you have something but it's break even you have no equity position you would have this at least you're in the market that's what matters but it is still not great three out of ten it's the only thing that's going to give you anything and not be a zero hammer financial score rounded up just barely one out of ten get yours at calebhammer.com join us for the post show.

1:44:03There's some interesting things we're going to talk about. Listen, 120 ,000 active members for a reason. Three premium shows every single day, six days a week. It is the best there is. Click join to join here on YouTube or you can go on the Hammer Elite app or Hammer Elite.com wherever you want to be. Same membership in all places. Love you. See you in the post show. Show me your resume. I thought it was a great resume. Everybody I showed said it was a great resume. Well, that's probably why you're not getting the job. Dude, she's a server. She has a two-page resume. No, but How can you tell me you think this is a good resume?

1:44:31I haven't been a server before. Shut the f*** up. You should have a one page resume. Okay. You're not a C-suite. That's one of the most f***ing hilarious resumes ever. That was almost worse than Brent's. I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below.

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