Man Baby Is Professional Victim | Financial Audit

0:00I'm on camera. I'm a little nervous. I'm being a little defensive. I'm not nervous at all. Never mind, then I have no hope. I was trying to make an excuse for you to be a little ridiculous. I can't have no excuses. Thank you. Huh? I can't have no excuses, but thank you. This is Brian, 36, from Denison, Texas. This is Kyle and Shawda. What do you do there for a living? I am currently an assistant store manager at Casey's General Store. Have you heard of that? Oh, my goodness. This explains so much from what we're going through the statements. You know. I think you give them more money than they give you.

0:32I do. I do. You see a lot of those cases on there? Yeah. What the? I literally work at the desk and walk around and get food all day. That's basically what I do. So. How much are we making in this position? Even though it's paid off. 19 an hour, 40 hours a week. At least you're hitting that 40. Yeah. Good. It doesn't seem like it's that much, but. Yeah. Well, on average, it's going to get you about$3 ,293 a month. Before taxes? Yeah, on average. And, of course, it's technically going to be a little different because some months are the longer months, some months are the shorter months. But that's what it gets to on average if we just break it down by 12.

1:09Okay, how do you feel living off of this? Terrible. Like, I can't survive off what I make there. And they have, like, a thing called daily pay, so I can draw for my check periodically if I need to. That's what I've been doing. Now I'm doing that consistently, which I'm, like, never getting out of the hole. Didn't you just move back in with the fam? I did. Is that because of this? No, like I was homeless. So then they said, oh, hey, we have an extra room. Come chill with us for a little while. And then I got this job and I'm kind of stuck there now. Where were you? And why are you stuck? I was living in my car.

1:40Really? For how long? About a month and a half. What happened before that? I had a really good job actually for two years. I worked at an architecture firm making like 50 grand a year doing that. Sure. I loved it. Passionate about that. But then I just had issues like a BPD. um i have which is mission itself um depression do ppd that's borderline personality disorder oh yeah okay so that really kind of how does how did that impact your job very bad like i came there and i literally thought everybody had a certain like view on me that wasn't accurate so i took that and ran with it and i just quit my job out of the blue you quit it the day of the two year anniversary no okay so because that i lost my apartment i lost my car like everything kind of like felt have you tried to get back in that company no i kind of burned a bridge with that one no how so before that i actually didn't work for a whole month because i was in a deep depressive mode and then talked to me out of bed nothing and then he finally reached out he's very good about it so i'm shocked um but he let me come back they'll ask for another three months when I got back there.

2:48And then he's like, okay, that's it. I can't do it anymore. I thought you said you quit. Yeah, I forced him to fire me. Oh, what the? Like, how did that look? Yeah. What do you mean? Like, it looked... No, no, no, no, no. Like, how did that work? How did you force someone to fire you? Well, basically, I left where he, like, couldn't take it anymore. He just, like, fired me. Okay, so we're not going back there. Yeah. Why not use the resume experience to try to land something in a similar field? Because it's very competitive. I actually got lucky with that one. usually require a degree i just don't have i just had my experience yeah but now you start having more and more experience you had two years experience there that helps start counteracting the no degree well the area i'm in is very small i mean opportunities for that i have to move somewhere i can't afford to move so i'm kind of like just stuck where i'm at right now 36 living at home okay i know the mental health thing i mean that that's that's that's hard if that's what

3:43when did you move back how long have you been home now i want to say the middle of november actually the beginning of november but you've been doing since then just working this gas station job yeah i only got it because it's the easiest job to get and i paid the most for what i had there so easiest job to get are you satisfied no i hate that job then why have you been doing anything to get another job since i've actually been trying to get a certification for um the tech field i want to do cybersecurity but it's getting like the discipline to go in there and finish it and that type of things i'm struggling what do you mean well have you signed up for something i do the freecodecamp.com thing i did that for a while and i heard those don't really count for a job like it's not really a credible source i guess for knowledge or whatever so yeah i'm not sure about that yeah i mean i love course careers uh they do tech certifications but i don't think they do cyber security oh wait no i think they just added it um i mean i could like gift that to you yeah but like even if i did would it even matter i mean you're in and out of things yeah i've had 50 jobs since i was 15 okay and does it all stem down to this mental health issue that i get bored really quickly okay well that's different that's different because i can sympathize for something you can't control when it's part of like your literal brain but if it's being bored quickly it's also like a bunch of things it's that mainly that but like also boredom like i get burn out so fast yeah but boredom's not an excuse like you gotta live i do but at that time i'll think about that i just think about me not enjoying my job so just leave without any kind of like you have a day where you're bored and you're like oh that's it that's it i'm gone pretty much what's the most you were ever making was it that 50k that's like the high page i've ever had yeah you're like 40 now ish and uh that's probably the longest job i had what's your what's your goal then you're living at home before we get into this insanity that's in front of me a massive stack of death what's even your goal what are we getting to short-term goal to get a parent's house of course uh long term yeah 36 uh long term is to actually be able to buy a house you know okay i'll eventually do that and have a decent credit score that isn't abysmal like it is now and get a very uh good interest rate on anything because right now i'm interested how do you do that without a better job a job that you might get bored and you quit right and the mental health thing i'm not going to dig too deep into that going forward because that's something it's like okay see a professional i've tried okay i know but they don't know anything about that continue to try what do you mean they know nothing about that i went to three different places i said we don't know enough about this disorder to help you you went to three different places there's limited on what i can do in that area i have to travel i don't have the money to travel what's the name of the town again denison where about it's like an hour north of dallas okay you can go to dallas right dallas is a huge metro area yeah that takes gas and time which i don't have much of each i know but if this thing is controlling your life i think gas and time plus the cost to go to the therapy or whatever that's expensive of course absolutely but there's also like um i mean it depends on what they accept specifically but they're all there are like actual programs do you qualify for any assistance no I'm like wrongly cuss like my last job I made too much now I make like a little bit more than with an image for that yeah I think it's like 12 was the max 12-15 so well but even still I mean with the healthcare exchange I think yours would still be very very cheap to get on an insurance plan maybe in your situation maybe i can't afford i can't afford to get gas i could not afford get gas to get here today okay so i can afford like that makes no sense yes it does in my head no sense you live at home so where's your bills that's a good question i don't have bills do you have a good answer i eat out all the time because i don't cook at home i don't talk to my family why stay in my room really stay in my room go to work come home that's all i do that doesn't sound like much of a life no it's not we don't get along so you don't get along well they history of that oh the reason why i have that brain is because of my family and i'm stuck with them now shouldn't do that so now that i'm stuck there i'm trying to get out okay you can't well i don't okay that sounds like some deflection oh yeah a little bit i mean but like this could be stuff that has developed over time something that you were biologically born with no i don't know you how can you say that because all the research i did all the people i've watched about this disorder it stems from your childhood how you're raised order person uh and your other ones too didn't you say you had a lot of other stuff as well anxiety depression and adhd ocd like a bunch of different things well life is unpredictable we all know this that's why it's important to safeguard your family's financial future so if anything were to happen to you your family is protected fabric by gerber life makes this important task straightforward and stress-free.

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10:17Anxiety and depression, I mean, that one makes a little more sense. Of course, there is stuff that's biological as well, but that can certainly be like pressed upon someone in a traumatic situation. So basically what it is is the time when your brain starts to develop at a certain age is when that mental abuse can happen. So it kind of structured my brain how it is now in a way. What happened to you? Well, a lot of it was mental abuse and physical abuse by both parents, like simultaneously. So I was trying to battle both of those at the same time. Very difficult. Had the ambulance called multiple times.

10:47Cops got involved. It was a whole thing. And then to this day, they still did not happen. Really? It's gaslighting the whole thing. That's why it's tick. I try to stay away from them. That's hard. Now I'm stuck with Aaron until I can afford to get out, which I don't know when this happened. I mean, at$40 ,000 a year, you could afford to get out. I don't see how. By not doing what you're doing with your money. Yeah. As simple as that. Here's a decent first step in that process. Don't borrow at 525.18 % interest rate of insanity death. Kill me now. That's a pretty good first step. Let's not do that.

11:25That's called desperation, man. And that's called stupidity because, again, you don't have bills, really. Other than the debts that you've taken out, you really don't. In the car, but at$40 ,000 a year without much overhead, desperation for what? Because you went and spent it all on fast food and spending it at the shop that's supposed to give you money. Then all of a sudden you're like, uh-oh, I don't have any money because I just had to spend it all on bulls. It doesn't even matter. Well, see, my whole family's fucked up, so we were down to one car. No, we were down to one car. So I had to get a car so we could all have a way to go to places.

12:02My sister has a business. She works in Dallas most of the time. My dad has a business, construction. He's gone. Mom stays home. We were down to my sister's car, which is still f***ed up. So I had to get a car so I could go to work instead of relying on one vehicle to get there. Well, yeah, because... So I had no choice but to get that. That's all I could qualify for, my current credit. This was for the car? Yes. Well, what aspect of the car? Because it was a separate car loan. Which one? What are you talking about? Are you talking about the Mustang or the Cadillac? oh the Cadillac what's up with the Mustang Mustang was the one actually recently lost I was living in for two months the engine blue it was 31 after the interest rate I got for 22 so I think now I when I left I had 2019 owed I still ate on it after they sold it to the at the what's called auction so What the f*** is this$500 that you borrowed at the most insane interest rate ever?

12:56Do you know what that was for? What? You just said it was for the car. That one was for mobile purchases. Oh, the f***ing gems that I saw you purchase every second of your life on the statements. Spoiler alert. That are just insane. Like, I'm going to. My mouth is going to, like, run dry when I name off all those purchases. What? What gems? What are you buying? What is this? You said it's addictive. What is it? It's literally a half purchases. Of what? like a dopamine like of what what are you in at purchasing just currency different packages they offer it's stupid i know but like it's it's something i'm kind of you think it's because you're like i mean you go to work and then you literally just sit in your room and hide from everyone so the baseline of it is i like feel so little myself that makes me happy for a little bit i spend a little money makes me happy you know like i'm terrible on finances like that little bit like kind of helps me i mean you don't you don't do anything right i stay home i know No, and it's very – in adulthood, post-college, it's actually very difficult to make adult friends.

13:55Yeah. So, like, I empathize with that immensely. But even still, whether it be, like, gosh, Bumble BFF or something, you know, just try to meet people. I have one friend. He's in Colorado. I've been in France for two years. Been in online gaming. Okay. Great guy. Helps me out a lot, actually, with my mental stuff. He really understands and gets me. It's great. Everybody else I cut off because of that. Like, if they mess up one time, they're gone. That's not healthy. It's not. It's not healthy at all. I mess up all the time. Friends forgive me. Some of my friends mess up. I do too. I forgive them.

14:24Right, it's part of it. It's how it is. It's how it works. Like, in my brain. Like, if I can't... It's either, like, a zero or a thousand. Like, there's no middle warm. It's cold or hot. Okay, but you recognize that that's incorrect. I do. But when you're there, you don't think about that. No, I know, but after the fact. Like, okay. Like, sure. You can have a bad moment after the fact. But then you, you know... Try to apologize later, but then you're like, gotta like hunker down and like really apologize to people that I f*** with and I can't seem to do that sometimes for one I don't think they care enough to even like you don't know you don't know you said I don't think you don't know right if you don't know then stop then it doesn't matter it doesn't okay well it's a constant battle so huh it's a constant battle it's been a constant a battle for the past 25 years so okay yeah because if i mean my main thing is you can't just say oh go get a friend and then all of a sudden then you'll stop spending on all the gems and in-app purchases insanity it's the little bits to make me happy it's just like empty empty happiness it kind of comes and goes very quickly same with the game yeah no yeah yeah yeah for sure i get that and i empathize with that um i'm just trying to think like i don't know that town i Wait, what is it called again?

15:37Denison. Is that where North Texas is out of? University of North Texas? No, that's Denton. Oh, sounds so similar. Sherman, McKinney, like it's kind of around there. Like that's from 20, 30 minutes. Either way, there's going to be people that there's like groups. Like, I don't know. Are you nerdy? No. Well, I like a lot of nerdy things. A lot of different things. Yeah. But I'm so like, my confidence is very so I don't really go out and like. Well, congratulations. I have a very good news. There's a lot of people with really confidence that also want friends that are also nerdy. There are club things online.

16:11I mean, if we put just a little bit of effort into it, it's always awkward at first and it sucks. And as someone with social anxiety who hates meeting new people, I hate that I'm meeting you right now because you're a new person. Right. And it sucks, to be brutally honest. But at the same time, I also want you to do better, so it's worth it.

16:29But going over that hump ends up being worth it in the end, man, if you're willing to. I don't want you cooped up there all day because that's scary. It's leading to really bad poor habits. And that's just going to continue to spiral. And if you're not willing to seek mental health professionals, then then. Well, see, I am, but it's just like I don't think anybody knows enough about it to actually do me any good. Think. You just said that again. You don't think. I don't give a fuck to think. I think a lot, but yeah. No, it's fantastic. But at a certain point, unfortunately, when it comes to mental health things, which are always being discovered in the field of like even coming close to understanding anything about mental health is so fricking new that you just have to keep trying.

17:09If you give up, you've lost, you've, you've, you've just lost. You've accepted that. You have to keep trying a lot actually. So, okay, well that's obviously terrible. And again, you recognize that. So like try to do something to not you, if you recognize all your issues, this is like, I'm very self aware. it's just getting to do things to do anything about it is the next i think you've just given up man i mean you're sitting in your room you're just buying the gems which now okay at my age i know i'm old i'm late my parents house but my parents are also in the same they're actually in similar financial situations me at 60 years old they don't have any retirement they don't have a house they're renting right now the cars why do they matter why are you talking about this i need to get to a spot where i can like support them eventually because they're not going to be able to retire and stop working until they die so i have to maybe your siblings will help as well She's living with them too.

17:57My sister and my niece are all in the house and myself. No. So, yeah. Hold your sister? She's 30. Oh my gosh. What is that house? So you borrowed$500. The finance charge is$657. Because you borrowed a 525.18 % interest rate of death and sanity. Stupidity. Total payments of$1 ,157.18. Which I have not paid on that ever. I haven't made a single payment. I don't think I made a single payment on that. Why? why it would be done it would be done you'd be over it so what the why because i'm a idiot that's why like okay no like no seriously i don't want to put money you're not something i don't see it has to be tangible that's not being an idiot that's just you making a choice that is you just making a choice i i will not accept you saying there i'm just dumb no you're gonna You're just not being an adult and taking responsibilities.

18:57Yeah. It's not because you're dumb. It's because you're choosing to. Yep. I don't give a f*** on that, actually. That's why I don't. Why? I get a little loans because. Why are you not giving a f*** on that? Why are you sitting in that chair? If you're making a lot of money, why should I give them all that money? Because you signed it. It's the f*** it is that it even exists. You f***ing signed it. You went there. You took someone else's money. You signed the contract saying these are the payment terms in the six payments that would be done two months ago i agree to do i didn't even read that i don't know what all it says i don't ever read anything that i signed and then and then you talk to me about wanting to buy a house and have a good credit score eventually when i get my if that ever happens uh not with the language you're using is this a joke what the yeah is it a joke to you no it's not not anymore used to be when i got that then then it's time to pay you'll pay on this then you'll pay on this done i would love to pay on it yep good so i'm gonna get my debt down it's like i don't know it's not a lot but it's a lot from our current situation so a lot of different payments here and there and they're high payments too minimums where your money's going what is the one of the stupidest things i've ever seen someone choose to do yeah and what's the balance on this now anyway What's the balance on this?

20:16After possibly late pay? Yeah. I'm going to check in a while.

20:23Okay. Here's a credit card. Which one? Capital One. Okay.

20:31$698.62. The credit limit of$500. $500. What are you doing? So see that? I got that when I got that really good job. I was getting paid like the same amount. It was a salary job. So I knew what I was getting. so I could like budget it accordingly. But since I lost that, I couldn't really keep up the payments. So that was an auto draft. Do you mean though? I bought that to build my credit and then I maxed out when I got homeless. You can't keep up with the payments. $40 ,000 a year is not even close to a luxury salary. Yeah. You don't have to pay rent or utilities or anything. I do have to pay rent.

20:59Oh, what's your rent? 200 bucks. You don't have to pay rent. It's some kind of money coming out of my account. It is money, but$40 ,000 a month. I know. It's such a small percentage. But for taxes, I don't make that much to take home. Dude, your taxes are not that crazy. What? What,$400 a paycheck? Yeah, it's not that crazy. Trust me. I was just getting that a whole month in my last one. I got like$3 ,750 before taxes and$32 after taxes for a whole month. $3 ,200? That was the last job. This one, it's like$2 ,900. $2 ,900? Yeah. Yeah, rent is 7 % of your income. I think you can afford the bait.

21:43I can't afford to get out though. The rinse, they're kind of higher for the area. Sure. That would be harder. That would be harder. We'd want to see you stick around on the max. And I don't know you, I know for a fact you could find this max end of like 1300 bucks a month. Max end. Like the last one was 13 and I could barely make that with the last job I hadn't because you're spending. It's because you don't know how to budget. it's because you're being a child with your money so it's not that you couldn't afford it it's because you chose to be stupid about it if I put you through our budgeting program will you even take it?

22:18of course look at this what do you mean of course how do I have any semblance of hope so the discipline it's going to take me to get on that but yeah eventually hunger down and take care of it that's a kick the can down the road that's not anything eventually is nothing I can't say oh I know I'm not gonna die fat because eventually I'll budget that's not anything it's either I can start dieting you need a tasteless salad in that conference room that we were just in earlier that tasted like nothing or I continue to be fit well and then we had donuts so it negated yeah either way those are great they're fantastic but if I just say eventually I'll do this so I know it's gonna be okay that works I like to quit something I don't like feel I can actually 100 % commit to it.

23:07But what do you mean? You don't feel like you can 100 % commit to it. I was like going to say right now, leaving. Yeah, I'll totally do it. Yeah, but why won't you? Why won't you? Why won't you? Because it's the routine. It's the history. It's the repeatingness. I'm going to go to work and still buy snacks, I'm sure, when I'm there and get hungry. So that's going to be hard to cut out of that. I can't take work. Sandwich. Pack a sandwich. A sandwich. A sandwich. Like an adult human being. Mm-hmm. Go to the grocery store. Adults make sandwiches? Any sandwiches? Yes. Okay. Go to the grocery store.

23:42Mm-hmm. Buy chips, put them in a plastic bag, then you eat that instead of spending$3 on a half-air-filled small little bag of bullshit. Yeah, it's kind of... What are you getting? Are you getting, like, monsters? Are you getting, like... Random energy drinks. Cool. Buy big packs from the grocery store from costco pack them and bring them i don't have costco there costco's like an hour drive sam's club i don't know those would cost membership i can't afford to get one right now with the amount that you spend in just a couple days of snacks yes you can that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard how are you so just you know that's incorrect what you just said so how do you spew that to me how do you possibly how are those words i had 15 dollars in my account right now so that knowing that right knowing that i can't afford to do anything but yes okay today you could have your next paycheck you could but by the time your next paycheck comes in you're continuing down the habits that you're already done and you immediately spend it on snacks at the place you already work at and gems you can't afford to do it you are choosing not to be able to afford to do it because you're putting your money right in the stupid stupid places yeah and the daily pay thing i pull that every single like week i have to pull money to survive until i get paid again so like my next check is even smaller it's like a never-ending cycle of having to pull money and then pay it back like a short little loan that gets taken the automatic out of my check i don't want to take payment on this$219 we're over the balance because that's insane tried to make a payment it bounced so it got put back on why did it bounce you didn't have money checking account but because you went and spent it on playstation networks no because i was homeless had to eat so i had to max out my card no no the payment the payment yeah the car is why they bounced so high i had to max it out no no no no no no how do you not under this is this is this is this most recent stupid payment you were not homeless this most recent stupid payment sure you max it out when you're dealing with homelessness gotcha okay in the past it happened okay now you're at home you have no expenses your rent is eight percent of your income which everyone would dream about which everyone would dream about and you put your money towards the stupidity towards the stupidity and then your payment bounces and you say oh it's because i was homeless you're not homeless anymore no but that's since november so this should have been able to be paid yeah that's the product of my recent or previous was that no the missed payment yeah still what i couldn't form my last name i had to borrow money from my friend to survive the next paycheck yes you could have how show me show me how

26:20nine hundred fifty six dollars was going out to eat nine hundred fifty six dollars last month within the statements that we have yes the most recent statements what do you mean what that seems a little much i don't think i spent that much in eating out but you do Uber Eats ain't no helping and includes you stopping and getting in cases not stopping but basically a thousand dollars thousand dollars so can you afford that? that's like half my paycheck almost or half my income oh weird isn't that interesting or a third of it yeah who would have thought? I didn't that's for sure well you did not do any thought of any kind apparently

27:11I can't read these. You're kicking them up. What are these? Is this the one I sent you? Yeah, these are just statements. You already know them. You already have them. You might not know them. I didn't look at them. I didn't get them in the mail and didn't really look at them. Fantastic. Great. Thrilled. First premiere. Yep. that was actually worse than capital one i think as far as the interest rate goes sitting 174.94 over the balance you are an immature though a thousand dollars i'm immature a thousand that's not immature that's just being reckless with my finances you're being so immature with your finances what the possible are you talking about you go spend a thousand dollars on on bull on stupidity eating out instead of actually paying your bills that's bull and you're delicious congratulations and that's an immature statement that's an immature statement and then PlayStation Network and Gems $409 is 7.7 % of your spending and the only reason it's 7.7 % of your spending is because you had a massive $2 ,500 vehicle vehicle payment how much was the PlayStation you said no no all the Gems and the PlayStation all that extra crap that doesn't matter $409 a month.

28:31That's not consistent, though. That was like a one-time Oh, yeah? Actually, the worst I did to that was two grand in one month. That was when I worked at my last job. I spent two grand on the game. It's almost like you're proud of it, man. No, I'm not. I'm just like, this is all the issues I've had. It's been a problem for a while. Then is this the conversation for you? Is this the conversation for you or is a mental health expert? Both. Really? Because you don't seem to be taking anything to heart. I have here. I think this is only a part the conversation yep okay so just give you an idea like the history of my spending so i used to sell houses for a living like three years ago and i would make about 30 grand a month give or take on that and i blew it every single month the whole thing all of it and i have nothing to show for it you need to take our budgeting program than anyone yeah it's kind of made me sick after words I was like, where'd my money go?

29:26I couldn't tell them. I didn't. You know what pisses me off right now? You know what actually pisses me off? This sucks. This sucks. And this actually has to do with you. But just your language and your lack of care, it seems like. Not even willing to go see someone from a mental health perspective. I've tried. You tried. Mm-hmm. But nothing going forward from your language. What pisses me off is we have seen from the average of people who've come on the show that they pay off a good amount of debt within just a few months. And the next time we take that poll, you're going to skew the statistics.

30:00Because I don't think you give a single sh**. You're going to skew the... No. Have you listened to yourself? Has your complicated airflow made it back to your ears? It has. A few times. And have you been able to comprehend what you've said? Mm-hmm. Okay. I have. It... No, I don't think... It's just in the way you're talking about. Hopefully you're just like, okay, I'm on camera. I'm a little nervous. I'm being a little defensive. I'm not nervous at all. Well, never mind. Then I have no hope. I was trying to make an excuse for you to be a little ridiculous. I can't have no excuses. Thank you. Huh?

30:38I can't have no excuses, but thank you.

30:48Cadillac. Is this your current driver?

30:53What about a catalog? Is that your current driver? It is. 105 ,000 miles on it? Mm-hmm. Pretty good for the year, I would say. Could be better, but it's pretty good. $16 ,551.21. Cool. I think people are going to... Well, really, only read it because they're the only people that complain about things. But they're going to... I'm going to be like, Caleb, so mean. Oh, you do not want to know what it's like. You do not know what it's like to be on the side of the table. What's the interest rate? You're pissing me off on that. You know, that's a great question. That's what I was going to ask you. I have no idea what it is.

31:24I know it's some sugar. Yeah, I mean, you gave me an order slip, not a statement, which we request a statement. I have statements. They're in there somewhere. Nope. Give the whole thing. Huh? Give the whole thing. It might be on this page. One second. Biweekly. Biweekly payments of$222. Biweekly payments of$222. You said it's on that page? It's not this one.

31:54$444 a month. That is some... What's the payoff actually on that? Is it 20-something? No,$16 ,551. Total cash back then. Okay, so what's the... What's the interest, though? What's the interest? I don't know. I think it's like$22 ,000 with interest. I don't fucking know. I think it's in there. Somewhere. I don't know what it is either, but I think it's$22 ,000. Is it? Okay. The car is at 17 %? That's my bank statements and, yeah, bank statements for the old ones. So you sent some things that we didn't even have access to? No, I sent pictures. There's more? Mm-hmm. And the card's at 17 %? Yeah. Again, desperate, man.

32:32I know the choice all I could qualify for. I want to go to sleep. Why? And give up. Don't do that. It's not that bad, right? It could be worse. And that's why I go so hard on people because that's what everyone comes into the studio thinking. And I need you to know how bad this is. My big fear. i'll be honest my big fear is that and i i i don't i'm not diagnosing because i can't because i don't know but like is this going to be more of a mental health thing and then is this conversation just unnecessary i don't know it's like am i being too hard on someone because it's their mental health thing or is a lot of this behavior from the language you've been using i think a lot of it is behavior but then you said you had uh some potential mental health things so it's a really hard balance to know where is my place in this i do think a lot of its behavior but again i cannot diagnose that accurately that's just my thinking and i told you we shouldn't just go off of thinking so is it mixed it's probably 50 i would say on that um i did a lot of behavior even helping helping them i'm hoping so that's why i came here you're hoping so but a lot of people come here because they know the tough love approach works for them because it works for some people and if If it doesn't work for some people, they shouldn't come on the show.