My 600-Lb. Audit | Financial Audit

24:12That was kind of mid. You've done better. Yeah, you've done better. I have. Sometimes you've got to just let the bed go. It's not even a bed. You're literally harming my chair. You're causing me a budget issue here. It's all right. But the thing is, I don't know why you're acting as if you're like skinny mini queen. I'm not. Okay. I'm not acting like I'm the bad bitch. I'm not acting like I'm the bad bitch. But again, this is a fatty calling a fatty. You are positioning yourself as this elevating thing here. I'm not trying to position myself as elevated here. Aren't you? No, financially, sure.

24:44But I'm not out there cheating. I would ask for open. I would break up. I would do whatever is required. You're a cheater. You're disgusting. You're a bad person. And yet you position yourself as up here, and I need you to bring you back down to your reality. I'm literally just a girl trying to make ends meet. You're not just a girl. You're about three of them. You're spending$1 ,000 a month going out to eat. Because I'm expected to do all the choice? While being morbidly, morbidly, morbidly obese. While literally taking Asian for$2 ,000. I'm literally, okay. I like my finer things. I love my coffee.

25:19It doesn't matter. You're having to literally be in cheat and yourself to pay for it. It's not right. Yes, it is. You got paid to bang. That is. No, it's more like we have a relationship and we're cool. Come on, that's what it is in the end. Let's be honest here. Let's be honest here. That's what it is in the end. I wanted to see what this was on top. I think it's marshmallows. It's marshmallow. Go ahead. I liked the first one. Would anybody like this other one? It's their signature drink. By the end of this, I'm going to have sleep apnea. I mean, sometimes we've got to make sacrifices. There's CPAPs.

25:56It's all good. Is it good? Is it worth it? Bro, what the f***? It's s'mores. Man, kind of. I don't know. There's something really... Do you have cooties? There's like feminine shit in there that I'm not liking that much. I don't know. Do you want that one? That one's like a mid-fold. It's very light. Whoa.

26:16It's in the wrist. You're not a coffee pro. Just give it to me. Let me do it. Oh, I don't usually get like this kind of shit. I'll be honest. Not that it's bad. It's just not my thing. Mmm, nom, nom, nom, nom, delicioso Cinnamon Toast Crunch See? Would you like a straw for it? No, I'm going to drink my normal coffee, thank you So you just drink out of those? Yep, I tried them But I'm wasteful I didn't say you were wasteful, you're a waste of space Okay, so you guys fight quite often, I assume Uh, yeah, yeah, we're definitely always arguing about the money So what are you going to do about it other than fucking yourself?

26:52Why don't you just leave? I mean, I love them You somehow find people. And there's also a lot of black guys in Dallas. So you'll be doing very well. Yeah. Yeah. I would say that's more my favorite flavor. Yeah. Well, Tyler gave me a face when you walked by. So I don't know how well you're going to do. I don't even know what that means. He's our black one. Oh. Well, one of our black one. Black two. One of black two. That's an interesting way to describe them. But okay. Them. Who's them? Why do you call them them? Because there was two people that you just referred to? Why would you call black people them?

27:30You said thing one, thing two. I didn't say thing. All of those costs, too, are not just me. That's me supporting an entire other person. An entire other person, but you guys don't have to go out to eat. You can meal prep. Thank you, Mark. So I'm supposed to do that, too? Because he won't do anything. So he won't cook. No, he won't do anything. Then leave him. I don't understand. I'm not going to cry for you when you're choosing not to leave. Put down an ultimatum. Do you tell him to do shit? I tell him constantly, right? Good, then leave him. I even... Then leave him. Apparently, you have no trouble getting men.

28:04Still blows my mind. But apparently, you have no trouble getting men. Leave him. That's because you're underestimating. You're underestimating the bad bitch. I don't know. I have to do what I have to do. Again, life's a compromise. What you have to do is be with him? Life's a compromise, but you're not compromising. You're not happy. You just cheated. I'm talking about the finances right now, right? So, like, what are we talking about today? I cannot change that today. I'm supposed to just divorce him? Meal prepping? Does divorce cost money? No, but you guys can separate and break up. Not the full legal proceeding.

28:31Okay, and then I'm what? Stuck with rent by myself? Potentially. Is that not better? One of my guests. Or kick him out. I don't know. I honestly feel like— I feel like he— Does he not give a shit about this relationship? I feel like if we talk to him about the money— Is he even going to care that you cheated on him? I think I can convince him that it's cool. Well, yeah. He sounds kind of like a— I feel like he's out of— I think he's just... He might be a cook. I don't know about that. I think he just doesn't give a fuck. I think he's done with the relationship and he's using you for money. No.

29:02No, he does nothing. He's not willing to cook. He just plays video games and wants to be a streamer. I mean... But he's not doing anything. Listen, but this conversation is more about you and you're the cheating, whore, disgusting animal. Again, I really don't think... That's really bad. It's a business transaction is what it is. Yeah, that's called... And you're telling me you never have in the four years you guys have been together? This is the first time you've done it? Correct. That's crazy. And use the show as an excuse to come down to do that. Yeah, basically. That's horrendous. You're a bad person.

29:34Again, I'm just trying to do— No, you are a bad person. No, you would ask permission. If you were just trying to do something, you would ask permission. I'm really just a girl trying to make ends meet. Would you prefer that I do only f***s? No. Is that better? No. Why is the only woman's option in today's society for anyone under 35 immediate? There's nothing else. Quick money. It is quick money. But you know what else is? Sales. Why aren't you willing to convert this experience into a better paying sales job? They are everywhere. They are everywhere. I wouldn't even know where to start. Okay.

30:05LinkedIn. Solve that issue. Are you? I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on LinkedIn. Then you already knew where to start. So set the f*** up. Open to work. You're not applying, you moron. I thought that that was so that people can reach out to you. They could. LinkedIn probably isn't exciting enough. You are going to have to put in the work. And you got that girl boss energy behind you. And for some reason, that actually gets people jobs today more than skills. So listen, you already got shit going for you. I mean, I obviously have a fire skill set, which is why I've stayed at the job this long. You are not being rewarded in the marketplace for that.

30:35And promotions since I've been there. Dude, you're getting like 3 % raises from your minimum wage. You're commission-based. Let's be honest. It's like$20 something an hour. You couldn't tell me, you asshole, at the beginning. so I wouldn't even know what to deal with you dumbass OnlyFans is an option though I don't know it's not just OnlyFans borrowing from your grandma I'm being told well you told me that actually yeah how much you yeah but you're borrowing from grandma you're spending a thousand going out to eat like that's kind of disgusting to borrow from a sweet old lady and then spend it all on bullshit she's literally rolling in the dough okay you're still borrowing it from her while spending it on bullshit I mean she's always been there to like support me financially like she understands like I have things understands what does she know where it's going You say she's rolling in the dough, right?

31:17Correct. Why does that all of a sudden make it okay? Why does it make it okay to support your f***ing roll of dough? That's all you're f***ing doing is just endlessly making yourself larger every single second of your life. I will absolutely pay her back. I did in the past. When? I mean, eventually. When he gets a job, when you get a better job, you're doing neither of these things. You're not going to break up with him. You're not going to do anything. You're nothing. You're pathetic. You take from grandma. you blow the money, and then you prostitute yourself and cheat behind the husband. Like you are an objectively bad person.

31:49There is nothing good about you. You position yourself as here, but you are below everyone else. You're horrible. You're a bad person. I have never, ever slept with anybody else inside of a relationship before this. Until yesterday. Correct. So it's already done. Correct. And again, there's nothing wrong with doing that if it's agreed upon. But it wasn't, and you did it behind his back. And I honestly cannot wait to tell him in the post show. about$400 additional miscellaneous bullshit so that's already$1 ,400 out the door other large purchases $1 ,740 I bet half of that at least is bullshit we just don't know unknown spending we don't know if it's bullshit or not $300 I guarantee you you spend about$2 ,000 $2 ,250 on bullshit bullshit if you're complaining that it's not working yeah maybe you can but if there is a budgetary issue where we are borrowing grandma and ourselves then cut back moron Why do you have no discipline?

32:43Why do you have no ability to actually put your numbers in a budgeting app like DollarWise and learn what you need to cut back on? It would be right there. The insights would give it to you. It literally lays it out like, hey, you're a fat bitch. Stop spending on this. What's the point of having money if I can't spend it on whatever I want? You don't. You're borrowing money. That's the disconnect here. I don't know how. I don't know how. I don't know how. Where's the disconnect? You do not have the money. you are borrowing it and yourself. So that's where you do not have money. I agree. If you had a little bit of money, I'd be okay with you spending a little bit on bullshit.

33:18But guess what? You don't. You're borrowing. So I don't give a fuck. It's not if I have money, I should be able to spend it. You don't. You're borrowing to spend it. Why did she give me a credit card on her account? I don't know. Why did she? You tell me. I don't know her. Obviously, I'm supposed to spend on myself if she gave me a credit card. Is that what she said? Or is it for life's necessities if you are stuck somewhere and you're running out of gas. I mean, what's the difference between that and like a tattoo?

33:45I mean. Okay, you are just an animal. Listen, you've been enabled your entire life. I can absolutely tell. I can absolutely tell. And no one's ever told you that your behavior is bad. Has no one in your family ever told you to stop eating? I feel like everybody in my family is kind of fat. Okay, well, there you go. So you're from a lifestyle of just bad decisions across the board. Maybe. Absolutely. My grandma is so financially smart. That doesn't mean anything. She budgets and she's football. Everyone making horrible life choices around you is an example why you would equate even something like a tattoo or emergency gas.

34:22Even if you're just being a dumb c**t in that moment, it's honestly not completely wrong in your brain. It's really not. Because you have just been enabled and surrounded by bad behavior individuals. And that's why you're a disgusting piece of s**t. I mean, in my mind, this is better than me spending money on drugs. Okay, so that makes it okay. Food is your drug. You're going to die at 35. It's really not. It's literally just food. You need food. You are morbidly, morbidly obese. How much do you weigh? How much do you weigh? 214. 205.

34:58Are you sure about that? No, you... There's not a chance. You lying... Let's get the scale. Okay, first of all, what is this? Howard Stern? No, it's Caleb Springer. Yeah, have you seen that? Where he makes the fat lady get on a scale? You got me f***ed up thinking I'm getting on a scale. Can't step that high? I'm taller than you are. I know you used the elevator to get up here. Actually, I walked the stairs, thank you very much. Wow. Is it hard for you to reach each stair? She did it. I don't know. It's crazy. Any man that's like 5 '5", talking all this mess is wild. 5 '9". Okay, that's not what I heard.

35:38I don't know. I've maybe heard that you market yourself as 5 '8". So did you magically grow an extra inch? I don't market myself as 5 '8". I never have. What are you? What the fuck are you even talking about? Dude, you're so absolutely stupid. Let's get a scale. Can we get a scale? Let's have someone go get a scale. Wes can sit in. You go buy a scale, Mark. We need a scale. Oh, okay, but I waste money. So you are going to spend money on a scale for a bit. Yes, that's called the business expense for the content, you fat bitch. Interesting. I'm sorry. I know you're lying. We're going to check it.

36:11What's your height? Five foot six. You're objectively not 205 pounds. You are… 230. You are of the top five fattest people I've ever had in the studio. And I, trust me, about 90 % of everyone is fat. Oh, there's no way. I definitely saw that one couple where he was ginormous with a Hawaiian shirt. You're in the top 10 of fatness. Okay. So, surrounded by life, behavior, fatness. Here's what happened. I got clean, right? I was an addict. Yeah, I was an addict. I'm in recovery. Of? You name it. You tell me because I wouldn't name it. My favorite was like X. Okay. But the one that like messed up my life the most was probably like.

36:50Well, yeah, that would do it. Okay, that one makes more sense. And to support those habits, the thing that you're calling. Grandmarch. I think I'm calling where you get paid to have sex. Yes, that thing. No, yeah, I was doing the actual version of that to support it. Why are you getting back into it? That doesn't make any sense. I don't know. I guess I just like, I don't feel like I have. Wait, what were you doing? What did it actually look like? What was happening? When? So I just celebrated four years clean in January. Good. Well done. That is actually very good. Thank you. That's actually where I met my husband.

37:20He was in recovery. He has six years. Of math? No, no, no. We met like at narcotics. No, what was he doing? Oh, yeah, for sure. And then come down. Yeah, wonderful. Anywho. Listen, okay, well, I'm glad you guys are clean. I'm not knocking on that, obviously. I'm very proud of you for that, and I do not want you to relapse. But there's also addiction swaps, and I think you may have a food. Hmm. Okay, either way, we'll weigh you. And, okay, so what were you doing? Because you are going back into that. You objectively are. I mean, that was like literally like staying in like motel sixes and like flipping tricks all throughout the weekend.

38:00So how long were you doing that? That's horrible. I would say like the last thing. I mean, I was an active addiction for a long time, but. Because you're literally doing that again yesterday. Probably like on and off for like two years. And how frequent? I mean, really, it was mostly like benders and things like that. So like, I don't know, maybe doing it for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, because those were like when you make money. Multiple people in a day. Yeah. K-pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans.

38:34What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really. Stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. Hey, participate in McDonald's while supplies last. Okay. Oh, yeah, that's horrendous. But going back to that yesterday, why? Why? I don't know. I guess I just— Don't get back into that. Also, behind your husband's back is horrendous. It really is. But you can't get back into that life. Right. I think if we did talk about it, that would maybe be his thing he's like most disappointed about.

39:22If we did. You didn't, though. You did this behind his back. Okay. I said if we talk about it. We will call him in the post show. Yeah, if we do. Listen, pause. Okay. The thing is, I have to ask this. Sorry, I'm not trying to go into sex talk, audience. I really am not. But this is an important question. Asian. Yesterday. Raw? Yes. Come on. See? And then the husband doesn't know. Doesn't matter. STDs, STIs. It's not that big of a deal. STDs, STIs, behind your husband's back, that is f***ed, unless you guys had an agreement, again, which you did not. Yeah, but he's like fancy. So, like fancy people don't get STDs.

39:55No, they don't keep them. Dude, people get STDs, STIs all the time, and they don't even know it. Okay, but like - So many are symptomless. People who have like health insurance and stuff like that get like tested regularly. First of all, no. What are you talking about? No. You think an Asian in his 60s is just randomly getting tested? No. Is he married? He's not 60. Is he married? No. No? No. Again, it's going to be a TMI. I have to ask, did it finish inside? I don't have uterus, so yeah. Behind your husband's back. That's disgusting. That's why I got so much more was because it was like. That's why it cost so much more.

40:28So you did. That is. So are you guys going to today again? Because you're going back tomorrow. Yeah, we're supposed to go. And what is today going to cost? Well, we're supposed to go to a really nice dinner. And what is today going to cost? he was going to pay off my credit card, one of my credit cards. That's insane. I mean, I'm literally. Oh, my goodness. Is this not what we're here to do is help with my finances? Somebody's going to pay off my credit card. It absolutely is. This is so bad. I would never advise that. One, illegal. We don't advise illegal methods to pay off debt. But it's illegal.

41:08That is illegal. I feel like it was just too. You charged more for a raw load. That is illegal. That is. I wouldn't, I would not phrase it that way. You did. It was more like, oh. No, you said that's why it costs more. Well, yeah, but that's not how the conversation went. It wasn't like just like cut and dry. Like, hey, if you want to bust at me, you got to pay more. Like it was a little bit more. Doesn't change it. I was raised, right? With the statement. You were raised horribly. Life is a compromise, right? Which means that sometimes. Dude, you went immediately into. Matthew, you're raised by morbidly obese people.

41:39Like it's horrible. Your grandma threatens to cut you off all the time when being told. And she should. She should. Maybe we'll call her in the post show too. She absolutely should. Yeah, she should. She was pretty upset with me for coming on here. Why? Because she said that the show was stupid. Oh, it is. And that it's going to be on the internet forever and I'm going to look like an idiot. And I was like, why? No, you look like a piece of shit. But also, no one's faced any consequences from the show because the internet says, it doesn't matter. Like, it doesn't matter. Yeah, no, she really didn't want me to do this.

42:08She thought this was dumb. Well, yeah, she's a crime. She doesn't understand the internet. She's, but either way, she's threatening to cut you off in general. She should. She should. But then I'm just going to put it up even more. Are you sure? What makes me nervous is you're immediately getting back into the last time you were in and you were doing meth. Are you sure? Are you not afraid of this crossing that path again towards a relapse? I mean, like, kind of, but like, I don't know. Well, you should be. I guess like my mindset, like before and now has always been like, I'm letting a lame dude hit for free.

42:39I might as well get paid for it. What? That's your husband. Okay, and he's lame. He's not doing anything. That's your husband, you moron. He's literally doing absolutely nothing. I agree. So leave him or do an ultimatum. I don't know. I feel like you complain, but you don't actually give instructions or ultimatums. I mean, I don't know how else I can. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand. I mean, people get lonely. And like, I'm actually really good company. I'm funny. There has to be other person he can find. There has to be. Oh, also, we're supposed to go get my nails done again because I get them done every week, and I just— Every week?

43:12You're bitching about not being able to pay the bills but you get your nails done every— You're a disgusting person. Let me see your cuticles. You're a disgusting person. Let me see your nails. No, they're bad. I bite them. Okay, exactly. So, this helps me not buy my nails. I stopped biting them. I'm not complaining about not being able to pay my bills. I'm also not going in for money and getting paid because I'm not probably my body. What do you mean? It's an allowance. If life is a compromise, why does that— Why is the compromise? There's a lot of compromises in between. You view it as prostitution.

43:41You view it as a favor. If it was in a motel room or something like that, then maybe. So it matters where it is. Yeah, the circumstances matter. Is it a stranger? Is it in a motel? Am I getting paid$60 or$2 ,000? So if it's more, it's better? I mean, again, the circumstances matter. Like the scenario. How much do you spend a week on nails? If budgeting apps make you feel like s***, this is for you. Most people who struggle with budgeting aren't irresponsible. They care about their money, but they get overwhelmed every time they look at it. They download an app, connect their accounts, and try tracking.

44:17But within a few days, it feels like a homework assignment they're failing. Too many categories, too many rules, too many red alerts screaming at them about what they did wrong. So, of course, they stopped opening it. Not because they don't care, but because it makes them feel worse. And here's what nobody talks about. The stress isn't coming from your spending. It's coming from having zero clarity and using tools that turn money into a failing grade. Have you ever thought, I just want to know where my money is going without being judged for it? You're not alone. That's exactly what we built DollarWise.

44:51If you want a calm and clearer way to see where your money is going, try DollarWise. Download the app today and get a three-day free trial. No setup nightmare, no manual tracking, no pressure to be perfect. Just connect your accounts, see where your money's actually going, and decide if it works for you. Click below to download DownloadWise and see if this helps you feel more in control without the stress. And if it's not a fit, cancel any time. Starbucks is bullsh** and a waste of money, and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well.

45:26Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. or 10 % off your order at gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. I don't know. Am I supposed to know that? I feel like I just kind of... It would be nice in financial audit if you knew that. Sorry, I just keep a card on file.

46:03So... You're a horrible individual. Maybe like... You are a pathetically horrible... How much? Maybe like 300, 200. A week? And you're bitching about not being able to pay bills. Do you not understand the contradictions here? Do you not understand? You spent$2 ,250 minimum on bullshit. I just literally don't understand the point of me working so hard. I don't get to spend my money on whatever I want. Okay, but my bills are paid. No, they're not. Have you looked? You're on this show. On my on-time payment history? You're on this show, so you're not paying your bills. Bill being paid is paying off your credit card every single month.

46:33Listen, you can use the mine card. It's the debit card that builds credit. It used to be called the Fizz card. You can use that so that you're not endlessly building these balances back up again. But how much debt do you think you have? I don't know. I thought about debt consolidation. Okay, let's try to actually give an answer when I say how much do you think. Okay. How am I having to pull teeth for it? Are you including like my car? Or just like credit cards? Well, do you have a debt on your car? I mean, technically, yeah. Well, then yes. Then probably like$15 ,000,$20 ,000. $40 ,243.17. I don't think that's right.

47:07Your income was$4 ,300, so pretty close to what that was. What you said, Zellin,$659. Where did that come from? because your income from your job was only$3 ,600. It was$1 ,000 less than you say you make on average. How much is the Zelle in? Well, total amount of Zelles. I don't know how much that breaks down individually. Maybe it was one, maybe it was many, but$659.97. Interesting. Is this for one account? Because I have an account. It's for all your accounts together. Well, I have my account. I get my Zelle from different men I've talked to or gone on a date. You're talking to men. That's what you said yesterday was your first cheat.

47:43Well, that's like the first time I've slept with one. Huh? That's the first time I've slept with one. But it's not the first time I've like gone on to dinner. I cannot wait for this phone call. You are disgusting. And I hope he leaves you. I really do. You're a bad person. What do you mean? I've been supporting him so he can do his stupid gamer streaming whatever. There you go. He should be grateful that I've been trying. Do you hear that? So what's the conversation in the house? Are you supporting him so he can achieve that? Or do you want him to get a shit together? Because those two are not the same thing.

48:13He needs to know or else he won't do shit. I feel like you don't communicate other than just being an upset, obnoxious, fat... Oh, crazy. You're a cunt. You're a cunt. Yes. You're... Gotcha, bitch. Correct. Yeah. Bitch made for real. Anywho, I mean, I'm... Yeah, if you don't communicate, which one are you doing? Supporting for his dreams or do you want him to get off his fucking ass? I want him to get off his fucking ass. Then tell him that! If you're telling him you're supporting him to do that, that's not what he's hearing. He used to make$100 ,000 a year when we were first together. No, are you dismissing everything I said?

48:47You are miscommunicating what you actually want. Well, we'll do that in the post show too, you dumb bitch. You told Colton that any man that doesn't go 50-50 on bills doesn't deserve monogamy. You are a disgusting creature. What the fuck is wrong? We need to imprison you. People like you, we need to just imprison you. You're just a bad... I'm glad you got a hysterectomy. Yeah. I couldn't imagine what your kids would be like. My... Because how does it make sense that I'm expected to do everything? So 100 % of the work is on me, but then... So the income that came in again was$4 ,300. What do you think your spending was?

49:30$2 ,000? I don't know. Okay. Is it actually something where people who are morbidly obese, which is like 90 % of the guests on the show are actually morbidly obese? Is there actually like struggle with getting oxygen to the brain? There's no way you can possibly think that's the number when you come on a financial audit. It was 5 ,600. Is it like both bank accounts? It's all of your accounts together. I already answered that question. Oh, well, sorry. It was confusing. No, it wasn't. I mean, you just yell all the time. 5 ,600 spent 4 ,300 in. Okay. Do I need to do that again? Do I need to say it again?

50:03Yeah, I didn't hear it. Did you process it? No, I didn't. 56 out, 43 in. Oh, wait, but that's negative. Yeah. So then why is that my account negative? Spending can be on debt. You like that word a lot. Yes, I do when it applies to you. I'm not being canceled. Trust me, it's not possible because if it was five years ago calling a fat bitch a fat bitch, I'd be canceled. Because I do that every single week. So obviously the internet has moved on from your weird performative septum piercing communities. You don't like my septum? Well, it actually makes you look more like a cow than you do on your normal everyday basis.

50:45They're so cute. Actually, did you know that doesn't matter? No, I'm going to tell you. No, I mean, I love an edgy. No, septum piercing. I love making fun of it. But trust me, find me like an edgy woman. Give me some tattoos, some piercings. I'm all about it. I literally have all like. Yes, but you're fat and disgusting. Have you seen my$1 ,300 tattoo? Nope. And nor do I want to because I don't know what kind of skin needs to be revealed for that. It's on my thigh. Well, I certainly don't want to see that. Don't want to see how much hair is there. What do you think your financial score is zero to ten?

51:12Zero being the absolute worst, ten being the absolute best? Like, like a six? Seven? No, like a six. Like a six, yeah. If you want your Hammer financial score, get it for free. CalebHammer.com. Just takes a few minutes. See where you stand in the world of money. You're disgusting. You really do. I know I'm being mean, but you're actually just a horrible person. You really are. And if you don't want to be like her, it's going to take a lot more than this, obviously. But download the DollarWise app. It's incredible. After the new relaunch, it's awesome. Check it out. Take the free trial to see if you like it.

51:47Sign up for the annual version if you do, because it saves you a shit ton of money, 50%. Then you get my budget-friendly cookbook, signed by me, mailed directly to you. And the budget meal plan as well, signed by me, mailed directly to you. The cookbook goes away at the end of March. Gone forever. Do you have a cookbook? Oh yeah, we talked about this. I forgot. It makes no sense. I really want to see it. I want to see the cookbook. You are the dumbest person I've ever met. Okay, literally, I'm just a girl and you've been yelling at me like this many times. I'm just a girl. What is this? Shut the f*** up.

52:16You're such a piece of waste of everything. I just work here. You literally, they actually don't. Wow, that's crazy. If you break my phone, you won't have to buy me a new one. I thought you were going to catch it because most people have those kind of order responses. They made you more tan because you're basty as fuck. Are you white? Do you see your face? You look like a ghost right now. Okay, but I'm like white. You intentionally made yourself look darker. No, I ebb and flow depending on where things are. Also, that was the lighting. I'm 25 % native. Okay, well, you literally look white. I am white.

52:51Like 100 % Caucasian from the mountains of Caucasus. Okay, thank you. I don't know what to do with this information. I don't know. I get more tan, I get less tan. I'm sorry. I apologize. Maybe you should wear a shirt other than white because it's kind of like blending in, you know? Well, you're looking at the cookbook. What is this? Yeah, I know, a fruit. It's terrifying to you. Cassini? I don't know. I don't feel like this is healthy. I feel like this is just bougie. Did you come up with these on your own or did you basically do it? We worked with a cook. Okay, there it is. A chef here in Austin.

53:19Yeah, I didn't think you did this. We did the budgeting part. It's just your name on it. He helped with the recipe cards. No, we did the budgeting part. This is H-E-B. Is there like a budget portion on the groceries? If you use these... Oh. That's actually, like, kind of helpful. You're such a waste of existence. I cannot stand you. I think it was helpful. Okay, in good standing, this is Discover Card. Why don't I have a statement? Instead, I have a picture from your card report, you moron. What am I supposed to do with this, you pathetic excuse of a financial audit guest? That's my grandma's account that she'll...

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54:24Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor. Visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more. to have the card for. So like, I don't even really know what the balance is on it.

54:57So you say she's good at finances, yet she allows to have a balance on a credit card for you? Do you make the payments or does she? No, she like pays it off like every... Do you make the payments or does she? No, she pays it off every month. You're such a horrible person. I don't understand you. It's so good. Are you on that card? You're an authorized user? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why it pulls up, but I don't have... Well, you got your tattoo with it, your special little tattoo. It's really nice. Tattoo, who gives it? It's so good though. He did such a good job. It's on my body forever. It was a good investment.

55:27It looks good. Yep. Stretch marks and all. Synchrony. Oh, it's on my leg. It's all good. Girl, trust me. I've seen my 600-pound life. What did you say? My weight ebbs and flows. I've gone up and down a lot. I was like 207. Up and down a lot? I was like 207 a year ago. I swear to God. Okay, so you're at 205 now. Sure. You said I'm at 205 now? No, you said that. Change it. I said 230. You're not 230. Okay. Well, that's debatable. Oh, I think we actually will know the facts here very soon. That's terrible. When Mark gets back. I hate that. It's your fault. I don't, I mean, I don't know what you want me to do.

56:05Yeah, let's see your skinny picture. Like, I care about that, I guess. I'm going, I'm going. It's just a little far back. By the way, I mean, 207 at five foot. Oh, here, this is actually me and my husband. Five is not even great.

56:21Okay, I mean, you were just obese instead of morbidly obese. What? I was literally thin. What are you talking about? No, everything looks thin compared to you now. I was smaller than you. No. No, you weren't. 207, how tall are you? 5 '6". 5 '6", 207 is not smaller than 250. Okay, but I also have titties. These titties are heavy. You do have titties. You know? You're right. That carries some weight. It does hurt my back too. I think it's you being morbidly open. The synchrony card. What is going on here with$2 ,607 with an$85 minimum monthly payment which takes 19 years to pay. Zoom in on that face.

56:57Nope. It's gone. That's what she actually looks like. That was crazy. Looking up from the paper to see that was insane. Huh? I feel like you should put those back on. I don't know. Oh, but yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was... I like the way your neck sag shakes every time you talk. My neck sag shakes? You had a hard time with that sentence. You did. I should probably cut that. No. That's a little embarrassing. But it's like. That's also embarrassing. What? Whatever you're doing. So, anywho. So, it was LASIK eye, which hence why I had glasses in that picture. I don't have them now. You actually might look better in glasses.

57:36Fat people, glasses help. I have really, like, pretty eyes, though. You can say a lot of shit. You can say a lot of shit. But the eye color, I have pretty eyes. You have to give credit where it's due. They're a kind of green. Okay. They change, but thank you. Anywho. And then the other one was laser hair removal. Great. Why are we financing all this shit that doesn't matter when you're bitching about not being able to pay bills? None of this makes sense. Your priorities make no sense. She's paying for this again? Yeah. What the f***? Have you ever done anything in your life? You spoiled bitch.

58:07How can you even be upset at your boyfriend for doing nothing when you do nothing? All you do is sit on your ass and make sales. I mean, other than that, you've never accomplished anything in your f***ing life. I was paying for it at a point in time. You've never contributed anything in your f***ing life. I literally was paying for it when I could. and now that I'm supporting two people. You should be able to now. What? You spend$2 ,225 a month on bullshit minimum. You can make an$85 payment. Get out. Yeah. No, because I need like my nails done. Oh, you see, you are a bad person. I really. You're disgusting.

58:40You're one of the worst people I've ever had on the show. No. There's no way I've seen. Yeah, your personality is. You think you're a bad bitch? You're a fat bitch. I don't think that those two are mutually exclusive. I think they can be the same. They can be a baddie and a fatty. Baddie and a fatty, yeah. Yes, you can be both. What the f*** are you talking about? No, no, no, no. Okay, so we're fatphobic. Other women will tell you yes, but that's because they endlessly support each other up front and then tear each other down in silence. So you're fatphobic. You thought about it. No, when you say fatphobic, I'm not afraid of fat people, nor am I.

59:11If you want to just be fat, I mean, if we came across each other in the street, I would never say anything. If we were just friends, I would never say anything. But since you come on Financial Auto, you spend$1 ,000 on food a month, I will say it. And since I already got permission, I will say it. And also, you are putting strain on your back that you talked about. So on the show where we just say everything, I will say it. When you lie about your weight, I will say it. When you're somehow getting paid to bang, I will say it because that blows my mind, honestly. And what? So yes, there's many reasons I will say it.

59:47but I would never just say it to a normal person. There's no reason to be mean to a normal person about their weight. But when you come on the show that is about everything, including your life, yes, I will absolutely say it. And it is not fat phobic to say being morbidly obese is not healthy, that it will cost your healthcare more money, that you put a strain on our healthcare system and make health insurance more expensive for all of us. Absolutely. I will also, it's not fat phobic to say, what even is the point of getting your finances under control if you're gonna die at 40? But you are most likely.

1:00:17First of all, I don't have high blood pressure. I don't have diabetes. I don't have like none of that. No way. I swear to God. I'll show you my blood work right now. Blood work isn't blood pressure. Can you call Mark? Every time I get blood work done. Is he still there? Let's get him to get a blood pressure monitor as well. I've never had high blood pressure. Not once. And I just went to the doctor. Okay. Anywho. Okay. So does that have a question? No. You just asked me if I was fat phobic. I'm not. Okay. I don't care what people are doing. But on this show, I'm also not just going to be like the, oh, huggy-huggies.

1:00:48No, it's bad. You shouldn't be morbidly obese. I shouldn't be obese. So what I'm gathering from this is that maybe you prefer twinks to bears. If I was into men, yes, I would probably go more twink, I assume. Oh, you're not? I'm not. No. I don't believe you. I'm not. I mean, do you watch the show? I've told many times how I thought I was buying college, but I found out I like vagina. I don't think that's how that works. I feel like if you've done it once You dismiss my lived experience? No, I just feel like there's a possibility you're more on the scale than you realize which is all good I wouldn't care if I was bi or gay I'm on the scale too I wouldn't give a shit I like women too It's all good Good for you I don't know why your life is applicable to mine It's not I'm just saying it's all good to like both It is I don't care Colton's the gayest man I've ever met He's right there I don't give a shit I'm like, what did he say fuck me for?

1:01:40I don't care If I was gay, I wouldn't care Yeah, we were vibing Yes. Fat white women, gay men, they get along. Who else do? Huh? Who else goes along with me? Black men? There it is. There it is. And you continue. Trivia? Fat trivia? Okay, so she pays for this. You don't? I paid for something. But there is deferred interest of$1 ,000, and that is going to hit in, oh, two months. Oh,$1 ,000 of deferred interest. And that's your grandma? She's going to get f***ed on this. What does that mean? Oh. Is her grandma, is her credit impacted by this? Or does she just make the payments? I think it's mine.

1:02:19I think it's on my credit. Just yours, but she helps pay. Yeah, yeah. Well, if you don't pay$2 ,607 in two months. Oh, sorry, one month. I forgot. It is on March.

1:02:35You'll have about$1 ,500 at that point that will just be added to the card. That is interest that has been accruing, but is not hitting. It would not hit if you paid it off before then, a month from now. But if you don't, it's going to hit and you're f***ing. Oh, I don't know. It was like her gift to me. Her gift is you opening a credit card? That doesn't make sense. Is she going to pay off the$40 ,000? Is she going to pay off the$2 ,600 in a month? Probably. Well, she has to or else the interest is done. You're f***ed. You're f***ed. It'll all of a sudden be sent up to$4 ,000. How do we not hear about this?

1:03:05Is there a committee that assembles that you are reported to? No, I just remember like when we did it, they were like, oh, because you have so-and-so insurance, you get 18 months of interest-free. You know, like you pay it off. Yeah, and you have to pay it off by then. It hasn't been 18 months. I don't know, man. I don't know. All I know is it hits in a month. Interesting. Okay, well, I guess I should call the guy again. Maybe stay an extra day. Oh, what the fuck? I just don't understand you. That is disgusting. that mentality is disgusting. Okay, I have a 401k. I've never had 401ks this early in a conversation.

1:03:45So that has to mean you probably have a loan or you withdrew from it. What did you do? I did a loan. Of course you did. I only pulled out two grand because I wasn't working. Well, now you can't leave your job because that'll be called due immediately and you'll have to sell from your 401k. Kind of. Well, let's see. Not really. It's just halfway. Oh, well, yeah. Okay, let's bring them in. What? Oh, you're really going to make me step on a scale? Yes. I think you should too. Okay, I will. Happily. Here it is. If it can even count that high. Oh my God, spare me. Do I get to take my shoes off? Or do we like, are we going to?

1:04:22Yeah, that's going to make a difference. That's what they always do on My 600-lb Life. They like take their wallet out. That's what's going to do it. Is it on? Is it good? Yes. Hmm? What? Nothing. No, don't vape. Do not vape. You already have enough problems and you will not vape in this room with me. I'm just stressing me out. No, no, no, no. no, no vaping. But I do not consent to your cancer heir in this office. Well, first of all, I don't exhale it. I just hold it in. That way it doesn't get out. No! She's not vaping. Her lungs are already... You're gonna die. No, I don't consent to it. I will sue you.

1:04:56I will sue you. Wait, dead ass? I will sue you. I will sue you. Get up and stand on that skill. Oh.

1:05:07Oh. Oh. Oh, f***. The enemy is being reinforced with a dreadnought. Bro. Oh, f***. Bro. It's not even on how it is. F***. Oh. 260. Oh. You're rounding up. Yeah, by 0.1. You're 5 '6? Uh-huh. This isn't even the highest I've ever been, to be honest. That's not a good thing.

1:05:41Let's keep that in the studio. We keep getting fat people in here. Watch. You'll have me back like one day and I'll like have lost the weight and you're going to be like, wow, good job. So proud of you. I hope you do. I want you to lose weight. What the f***? You think I'm like anti-you? I'm not just like... You're working on it. You added 100 pounds. No, wait. In that picture. Well, yeah. Like 60 pounds. I'm on a medication that causes weight gain. Listen, you look up the effects of Seroquel. Okay, I'm barely obese. I will admit that. But I've learned some things here, ladies and gentlemen, in BMI.

1:06:10I've just been educated. I'm considered morbidly obese, I know. No. I've looked. No. You're actually not. Oh, it's worse. Death, deathbed. Bro, BMI, first of all, is 42. That's insane. If anyone knows anything about BMI, that's actually insane. It used to be worse. Pause number two. I am so excited for you guys to finally get your hands on what I've been working on for a year. The brand new DollarWise budgeting app. And listen, I get it. The first iteration was a disaster. Many reasons from working with an external agency to shit infrastructure that I could use. But let's be honest, that was on me.

1:06:49So I put my money where my mouth is. And after investing millions of dollars and hiring dozens of people, we've completely rebuilt DollarWise and it is truly incredible. And to celebrate, I am giving you some insane deals to sign up for the first time or trying it again after you used the shitty version last year. But these deals only last through March 31st and then they're gone forever. Download now, take your free trial to test it out and get the monthly plan at a 33 % discount for three months or take the annual plan for an insane 50 % discount. And with the annual, you get my budget-friendly cookbook signed by me and my brand new 30-day detailed budget meal plan signed by me as well.

1:07:31Both of them mailed directly to you. But after March 31st, the cookbook is gone forever. So this is literally your last chance to get it. Don't miss this opportunity of a lifetime. Download DollarWise and start your free trial. Go to DollarWise.com or click those links below.

1:07:55Good morning. I've been looking forward to this for the last year and a half. Once in a blue moon, a game-changing paradigm shift takes the industry by storm. Financial audit has changed YouTube forever, and DollarWise is about to alter the future of personal finances, we know it. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce the next big thing in budgeting.

1:08:22What are we doing here? Guys, what are we doing here? What are we doing here? What is... What are we doing? Caleb! Caleb! Can you show them the new DollarWise logo? Introducing DollarWise Reimagined.

1:08:43DollarWise, rewrite your money story.

1:09:03The old Dollar Wise is dead.

1:09:14Overweight stops at 29.9. and then there's obesity class one. I didn't know there were classes of obesity because that's where I end. I didn't know it upgrades with like a skill tree. Obesity class two exists. Fantastic. But you're not that. Oh my God. You're in morbid, morbidly obese. You're in obesity class three, something I didn't even know existed, which is 40 plus. And you are 42. Who? I don't know how much you need to weigh to be a normal weight.

1:09:51What? Yeah, you were fat. What? What do you want? It used to be worse. I used to weigh 340. Oh, good. Okay. Like, wonderful. I don't know. You, you, you. You're unhealthy. I don't know. What do you want from me? I'm glad you don't do math anymore. I'm glad you're not 340. I don't know. Oh, man. I could lose hella weight if I did some math, though. So quickly. Were you skinny? Hell yeah. You want to see? I can try and find one. Okay, sure. Fine. You want to show me every era of you. But isn't it great? By the way, you should weigh 145 pounds. That's not even, that's stupid. Yep, that's actually at the top of normal weight.

1:10:22I'm good with 180. Okay, well, you'll probably be considered like overweight, maybe level one obese. I don't know. I feel like some of that is - This is fat, Otter. It's stupid. Huh? Some of it's dumb. BMI is not perfect. It doesn't include muscle. It doesn't include titties. So it's not perfect. but you are morbidly, morbidly obese. I do lose my titties. Morbidly morbid obese. Class three. I don't know if there's such thing as class four because I didn't even know there was a class two. Yeah, is this financial audit or fatty audit? Fatty audit right now. Clearly. It's whatever the fuck I want it to be.

1:10:55Welcome to the channel called Caleb Hammer. You know what, at least I've never done anything bad, you know? Yeah. Math, cheating on your husband yesterday. Yeah, at least you've never done anything bad. What the fuck is she talking? Is she, she's this delusional. Completely abuse your grandma's financial situation. Delulu is the salulu. Never heard that? That's cute. No, you're just making fake words rhyme with fake words. No, it's literally a thing. Delulu is the salulu. Yeah, in your community where you excuse each other for making horrible decisions. Can we get a word count on how many times he said that this episode?

1:11:23Hopefully at least 20 plus because she is the worst person I've ever met and she deserves it. I think we should do that. Okay, here, let me catch up with the other word you deserve.

1:11:33Actually, it's a wonderful word and you are a definition of a... Capital One. Oh, yeah. Are you finding me mecked out whore? No, I don't want to look for it. Good. I don't give a f***. I'm just trying to get to the phone call with you two because that's what's... I need you guys' marriage to end. Him leaving you or you leaving him. I just don't understand how I'm the bad person. When like... Okay, you can go out there and hit your vape. I'm being told you need to hit your vape. I'm being told you're throwing f***ing panic signs because... Go out there and hit your f***ing vape, you disgusting f***ing animal.

1:12:08Maybe if you yelled this. You're so, you are the worst. Oh my gosh, am I on something this episode, chat? Or is she actually one of the worst people? You're just such a bad person. I don't. Cheaters. Brandon, come over here. Run over here. Run, run, run, run before she comes back. Am I being too, I'm sorry, you have to sit in there. See, how warm is it? It's toasty. Jesus. Is this not one of the most disgusting, or sorry, horrible people? Did you see the photo I just sent you? Yeah. She's built like the hunchback. No, you're not going to be in too hard. She's fat and disgusting. Well, she's a bad person.

1:12:43Yes. She's like one of the worst people ever. She's like me on steroids. Yeah, but at least people understand you. That's true. She's gross. At least Brandon's on Ozempic. I should be. My goodness, how was your ripping? Ripping? The vape! Do you need a mint? No. Yeah, I heard you're not a fan. Are you scared of him? Or what? I don't like the scent of mint. Do they make you uncomfortable? The scent of mint. Who doesn't like the scent of mint? You spent 200—me, moron. You spent$250.82 on here? What? On the Capital One card, you spent$250.82 last month, even though you only paid$125 towards that.

1:13:23You have maxed it out close to$800. Well, interest is accruing. Why are you spending on a credit card that you cannot pay off that is accruing interest? Oh, I had to get vapes. You are the worst person ever. Yes, it is. It's vapor. $134 of vapor. Well, toll road as well. And I rent the car. You're renting a car? Oh, yeah. I got a raccoon right in front of my car and it messed it up. So I had to get a rental. It was crazy. It was the biggest raccoon I've ever seen in my life. Bro, you are... Something is wrong with you. Something is... I do not understand. This must be... What? A firm? Klarna, I think.

1:14:01Oh, Klarna for vivid seats. It's your poor, the poor people sat next to you. Did you buy two? You should be required to buy two. I've sat next to a morbidly obese person in a concert. It's not fair. Well, those aren't concerts. It's not fair. It is like an airline. Do you buy two seats? Yeah, but those are concerts. First of all, it's American Airlines in Dallas. Their seats are big anyway. Not big enough. No, think of the person next to you. Do you want to go together? Be considerate. We can go together and you can see. No, be considerate. The people next to you do not want to feel your warmth.

1:14:33I sit on the edge anyway. Yeah, but someone still has to sit next to you on the other side. My husband or... Oh, the poor man. Okay, so vivid seats. What did you do? Those are all... There's multiple vivid seats. Yeah, those are all Mavericks games, basketball games. Oh, did you buy the seat next to you? Yeah, for my husband. And the other one. No, we're on the end. Oh, you always buy the end. Okay, good. At least you're just strategic about it because my... I don't know how anyone... And we always get good seats too. I don't want to say... Well, thanks. That's really good. You can't afford your bills.

1:15:01You're crying about it. And yeah, oh, I got to get my good Dallas Mavericks seats. I don't think I'm crying. Like, it's fine. It's just money. You are about the guy not stepping up. It's okay. Oh, well, I mean, yeah, but I took him to a Mavericks game. So it's like, you're welcome, you know? Yeah, three? More. Those are just the ones I'm still making payments on. We were going to buy season tickets, but, you know. You're a bad person. You don't like the Mavericks? I don't care. Why? Basketball is great. Okay, good. I don't live in Dallas. I'm all about the experiences. You know what I mean? Like buying cruises and buying checks.

1:15:32Yeah, experiences like losing the roof over your head. Soon enough. No, I got it. Soon enough. $481.40 with a$120.35 minimum monthly payment. Yes, I'm paying them off with like, oh no, wait, they might have interest. Yeah. Yes,$21 of interest is accruing. Okay, Slay. Okay, Slay. I mean, like, what's, like, if I can't afford it at once, then I can put it in, I can put it in payments. And like, putting it in payments is like not really spending the money. Right then. Make that make sense. It's girl math. Well, right then. It's not girl math. It is you being a spoiled bitch. Your entire life learning only bad behavior.

1:16:11I mean. And it's also I'm being told buying sex toys that your husband doesn't know about. Oh, yeah. Mind is back. Why? Well, you know how I'm like an addict, right? Yes. Well, there are such things as substitutions. And I have definitely switched to the sex addiction side. Not the food? Well, I mean. You do a skidding when you're on meth. Then you got morbidly obese when you're off. Well, because when I'm on meth, what I'm doing is like, and smoking. That's it. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was a little crude. But why'd you have to hide this from him? He's just like not really like a big fan of using textualities.

1:16:50Wow, then he's going to feel great about you using another man yesterday. He just feels like it's like, it's me saying that he's not good, but like he's not understanding like not everyone. This phone call is going to be crazy. Not everyone can like, you know, just from that.

1:17:29Only at The Home Depot. Exclusion supplies. See homedepot.com slash price match for details. Some of us need extra help. Yeah, that's fine. But having to hide it's weird, man. Well, I just didn't want him to spend money on it because it's like, why are you spending money when I'm here? But I got like five. There's nothing wrong with toys. It's because I would like see ads like on social media for like, ooh, this one. And everyone's talking about, yeah. Like the lemon and stuff like that. Yeah. Okay. There's so many. Different algorithms. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you're paying for, what account is this?

1:18:01That's Chase. So Chase has pay him for. Well, Chase paying for, you're doing Italian cafe. Yeah. Dorado, nails. Nails. Pin stack, vaping. You're paying for vaping. You are the worst creature born to this earth. At least I switched on cigarettes. Shut the f*** up. Luigi's Cafe again. Vape. Yeah. Tom Tom. Went and got some bullshit. What the f***? I don't even know the balance of this. I can pull it up if you'd like it. It'll be real quick. It's going to be about$500 because that's the most I can do. Okay,$500. Okay, you don't have to look it up. $500. I already did it. It's$3.23. I paid off some of it.

1:18:41$3.23. Yeah, until you use it again because that's what happens with paying for. Okay, minimum payment is probably$80. $0.75. Fucking beast. Oh!

1:18:54They're almost paying. Shut the fuck up. Freedom. I don't even want to hear you talk. I'm so done with you. I really am. You're just a bad person. I do not like bad people. Like objectively bad people. Morals are subjective, but you're a bad person. Okay, so we're not going to talk about all the good things I do. What do you do that's good? I volunteer, thank you very much. I feed to the homeless. Feed to the homeless, are you sure you're not sneaking bites? I mean, I did take a hot dog, but it was like my friend's hot dog. Freedom card,$424.67 with a$40 minimum repayment. Over a year to pay off.

1:19:23You're spending more than you put towards it. You only made the minimum repayment. Then you spent$75. What is wrong with you? I didn't have the money and I needed to buy something. What did you need to buy? Let's find out. Okay, she needed to buy PayPal. Use this on PayPal. Wait, what? I can't even tell. $19 as well. On PayPal? I don't know. That's what you used it for. Can I look at it? Sure. It's going to say PayPal. Yeah, but when did I PayPal something? Is this income or outcome? Wow, yeah. You learned so much looking at it, didn't you? I paid something. Affirm,$341.35. American Airlines to where?

1:20:01Not to Austin. Where'd you go? For what? American Airlines on Affirm, you absolute degenerate. Oh, okay, okay, okay. So what happened was I went to a music festival last September. It was a really great music festival. And my sister and I decided to finance it. And my grandma sent me the money to pay off the airline tickets. But I needed the cash. I didn't pay it off. Animal. You are such a bad person. You are such a bad person. That's debatable. Minimum. Shut the fuck up. You are such a bad person. It's not debatable. Also, volunteer rehabs. You are abusing your grandma. That's fine. I don't give a fuck what you do.

1:20:39That doesn't excuse all your bad behavior abusing your grandma. These are just like beating on your husband. Shut the fuck up. $241.35 still owed on this with a$68.28 minimum payment. You are a bad person. You are disgusting. Shut up. I am done with you. And society should be as well. Oh, good. Here we go. Let's get Ulta. Let's get some Ulta. Yeah, I mean, you are f***ing caked to death, so. First of all, not even. It's beat. Thank you. It's what? It's beat. Girl, I can see every f***ing makeup just absolute crater and dimple. You are caked, caked, caked, caked, caked. That's normal. It's called texture.

1:21:15Dude, it's bad. I can see your pores. Yes, I'm not wearing makeup. Okay, so what? I'm supposed to just not wear makeup because my face isn't the texture of a baby's ass? Or just wear good makeup or look good? It does look good. No. It's literally, it's so nice. No, it looks horrible. You owe$304 on this. And yes, I'm being mean to you because you're a piece of shit. So I feel like I'm okay with it. $304 and$96 is owed on Ulta. Clearly all for just this one caking. And then$30 is your monthly payment. Takes a year to pay off and interest is occurring. What were you going to say, you beast? It's perfume.

1:21:47That's mostly because perfume is expensive. It's like$100. So it makes more sense to just buy it all at the same time. This is Ralph Lauren. Thank you very much. Yeah, you smell like an old woman. That's the thing here. The fact is, I went into old people's houses when I— one old person house when I was considering buying a house, and it smelled like you. You smell like an old person. I disagree. Nope. But that balance actually used to be so much worse, and I did a really good job. Wow, okay. So good. The limit's like 2 ,000. I don't give a f— You're not paying it off. You're still spending money on all this bullshit.

1:22:16I paid it down from 1 ,000. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. You still have a balance that is accruing interest, so you're spending money other places instead of paying it off. Okay, NFM. That one's good. I did good with that one. What do you mean? I mean, you know, balance, you only make your minimum payment? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's no interest. It's no interest because I did like the thing for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I got a mirror for my room. Like our bedroom. How big? It's like really big and it has like a light on it. It's really nice. Okay, I just needed to make sure so you didn't have to buy a multiple.

1:22:46200, okay, no, you're getting insurance premiums on this. That was actually a decent fatty joke. I'm going to give you credit. That was kind of funny. Not even making jokes. You're just, you disgust me. $245.65. So down here was$17 a month being owed. Three years to pay off. You're having insurance premiums hit it out of like credit protection fees. So it's not like nothing's happening. And let's see, we do have interest on here. What do you mean it's no interest? I'm having interest. You've had$133 recently. But isn't it like deferred or some shit? I swear to God, it's supposed to be no interest.

1:23:19Please don't yell at me. No, no. Interest is hitting. No. You have no idea what you're talking about. I like 15%. Oh, what is this? What do you owe to an apartment$8 ,891? Oh, my God. Crack the tub. There's another one that you're going to see here that you may want to. Okay, how about your answer about this one? It was absolutely roach infested and I left in less than 30, or we left in less than 30 days because it was disgusting and I'm not going to live there. Okay, well, now you're facing the consequences instead of doing it the right way. I refuse to pay it. Kind of. I mean, you're signing the contract.

1:23:49I'm not going to ever pay it. Good, that will hit your collections. It'll be gone in a few years. Well, it's seven. And that's if they don't actually sue you for it, which they can. And that's a balance that might be worth suing for. Yes. Wait, what? It has happened in the show. People can't get sued and taken to court. They called me like a while back and like they never did anything. What? So good, so good, so good. New spring arrivals are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Get ready to save big with up to 60 % off Rag & Bone, Marc Jacobs, Free People, and more. How did I not know Rack has Adidas?

1:24:24Because there's always something new. Join the Nordic Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite Rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you Rack. They still might. That is a balance worth small claims. Them hoes, that's bullshit. Okay, sure, I agree. It's not great. It doesn't mean it's not real though. But I tried to like get a lawyer and the lawyer was like, well, it'll be like$7 ,000 and you might not win. And so it's like, okay, then I know$14 ,000. Yes. Yeah. So I feel like just if I don't think about it, it's like not there.

1:25:03That's how that works. That's going to impact your credit going forward. What is this interest that is accruing in a balance due of$3 ,998? So that was the first apartment that we were at. She's so two apartments she owes to. I can explain. Oh, you are such a bad person. No, I can explain. You are such a piece of shit. Yeah, explain. Go ahead. So that one was like a really, really apartment in downtown Dallas. And like, we just couldn't really afford it. So we were going to pay it back. First of all, why would you live in downtown Dallas? There's absolutely nothing. It is the worst downtown I've been to in my entire life.

1:25:30By far, it's not even close. What? Triven. What? It's horrible. It's dead. Nothing happens. Unless you specifically live next to the park that goes over the highway. What, Clyde Warren? Yes. It's the only area that is halfway decent. Uptown's wonderful. We were in Design District, which is like bougie. And then it's right next. I went around there still. There's nobody there. Nothing was happening. It's right next to the gayborhood. Like, I was in the spot. Nothing happens there. Downtown Dallas is the worst downtown. It was, the rooms were like huge. And it was just like so nice. Why do you all want it, dumb bitch?

1:26:01It doesn't matter. Because we couldn't, we felt like. Okay, you're a bad person. We couldn't afford it. You're a bad person. And then we moved into the Roach one. You're a bad person. And we got. You're a bad person. What were we supposed to do? You're a bad person. Not signed an apartment you couldn't afford. Bad person. God would not want to live under you. But you want to be under me. No. Not at all. Not at all. NFM. NFM. NFM. Not me. That was quick. Not a chance. It's okay. Not something I'd ever consider. I can be a spank fake. Certainly not worth$2 ,000. I'd pay$2 ,000 to get you the out of this door.

1:26:40I'm open No I only have a few minutes left And then I get to stop talking to you Piece of shit Okay Bayless gone white How many heart attacks did you have? What's happening? So I have to get pain management procedures For my back a lot Yeah lose weight It's not weight related Bullshit Okay when I was 205 I still had fucking back problems Oh yeah 205 you were obese My discs are gone My fucking feet What do you think happens with fat people dude? Your back hurts even if it's not only because of that it's making it worse anywho oh my you're not even willing to that's that's why it's not fat phobic we need to stop being dumbasses and not willing to have real conversations and then you ought to go to the hospital for it why do you think my health insurance is so expensive because of you oh what this is from a weight loss clinic did you peep that it says surgical weight loss management wonderful proud of you all i know is you owe in medical bills, only$389.76.

1:27:36I don't know why you're not paying them. Oh, no, there's way more than that, friend. Okay, well, that's what I have here. So in those documents, oh, those are your minimums? Yeah, friend, that's the payment. Oh,$389.76 is your minimum. Hold on. Hold the on. One of these is like a couple thousand. Hold on. Okay, I have it. I have it. I have it. I found it. I found it. I already did. It's right here. Okay. Is it like a tip number? $3 ,401 and$10, sorry, and 81 cents. Minimum monthly payment,$3.89. I do have them on a payment plan, and I have been making it. Yes, of$3.89. I do make my payments on it myself.

1:28:20Oh, wow, what a big girl. Okay, Hyundai. I don't know how you fit in this. What is it? It's a 2023 Hyundai Sonata. Oh, f***. I got it brand new. Yikes. Okay. Actually, what happened was I got into an accident and my bum-ass husband didn't put full coverage on my car. He put it on his and then I was out of pocket. Why is he responsible? Because he wanted to do it and he only put full coverage on his and not on mine. Okay, this is worth$16 ,000. You actually have an equity position of a couple thousand bucks, but you owe$14 ,546.36. Minimum monthly payment,$373.55. What's your interest rate? What's your interest rate, asshole?

1:29:01I don't know. I know it's low. My grandma co-signed. Oh, good. Grandma for the save again. He's a rat. $772 in your checking account. Door-dashing Chick-fil-A. Pathetic. Chili's. Selling out money. Nail bar,$129 there. Doubt you got groceries, so you got some bullshit from Walmart, probably. Oh, no. Door-dashing Ming Moon. Rock coffee. Bullshit. Starbucks. The Starbucks is... Paid for the Olympics? What? That's connect. Oh, that's the little, we have like a little cafe thing downstairs at work. Oh, great. Dutch Bros, Rockwall, Luigi's Italian Cafe. You're obsessed with that place. Apple Cash sent out.

1:29:42Saltgrass, Taco Casa, Starbucks. The fashion place again. And there you go. The downstairs cafe, the downstairs cafe. Fashion. Alamo Draft House. I don't know, or do I care? Alamo Draft House. Amazon. Alamo. Amazon. Zalina Money, Zalina Money. DoorDash and Charlie's. Starbucks. Cash app, cash app. 50 bucks, 50 bucks. Sambuca. Starbucks. Lala Land. You are so predictable. Oh, Lala's so good. South Pancake House. Maybe, yeah. DoorDash Wendy's. Taco Bell. Oh, your grandma makes your car payment? Yeah. You are pathetic. I'm so done with you. And my car insurance. I never want someone like you on this show again.

1:30:24You're just such a horrible individual. Shut the fuck up. It's logic. Shut the fuck up. $14 ,000 in this retirement account. Shut the f*** up. Hey, but that's so good, right? Horrible, pathetic individual. For your age, no, it's not. Well, I've only been at the job six years. I don't give a f***. For your age, no, it's not. Math is math is math is math. I don't give a f***. Shit, I am so excited to call this guy and expose your ass. You f***ing horrendous creature. The fact you don't even care about it just suggests that's why you're actually letting us. It's kind of crazy. $4 ,500 comes in. What's your portion of rent?

1:30:55What's rent? $21. You pay it or just grandma? No, I pay it. You can't afford$21. You need a one-bed, cheap place somewhere. You can get it. I believe in you. Utilities plus internet, how much? My internet's$80. My electric is like$120. Anything else? Is there gas? No. Okay,$200 phone bill. It's like$350. Me. When you pay off your phone, switch to helium if T-Mobile's going to douse, which I assume it is. It uses the same towers. I'm paying for my parents. Well, stop. You're poor. Stop. Stop. Switch to helium. 15 bucks a line. It's like gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive. I'm sure yours takes a bit more.

1:31:37How much for gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive? You have too many adjectives. I didn't know what you were saying. Maybe like$40 a month. Doubt it. Okay, whatever. Car insurance? Okay, 70. Car insurance? I don't know. I don't pay it. Who does? Your grandpa. Grandma. You are disgusting. I hate you. groceries for the household. He doesn't have money. 600 meal prep, meal plan. Use the cookbook and use our meal plan. Which you guys can get with the annual version of the Dollar Weiss budgeting app. It's the only way to get it. Signed by me, mailed directly to you. TP fund, anything else that exists? For the house, I guess, because you have to take care of that.

1:32:14200 bucks. Medical health care. Are there co-pays or the shit? Yeah, yeah. How much? How much? I mean, I'm seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist every week. How much? 210. Okay. 210 You're definitely famous So I'm not including the car Right? Correct But medical You're paying yourself Like a big girl Yes Oh my I'm still I don't know How do you exist? I don't know I can't tell when you're just like Thinking out loud When you're talking to me Well when I ask a question It's to you Everything you say Sounds like a question Not true $787 86 cents It's the minimums you have to take care of. Subscriptions, I'll try 4DF pets.

1:33:01Yes. For sake, what? They're just two cats. $100 pet insurance. How much for cat food? Oh, they're expensive. It's like$60 a month. I mean, there's not going to be anything to survive, and I have no care whether or not you honestly can make it or not. I don't even want to give advice. You're just such a bad person. Yeah, I mean, actually, for what it's worth, you're only underwater by $317. So yes, he needs to go get a job. You need to get a better job. I mean, that's it. Shut the f*** up for a second. He needs to get a job, or you break up. But either way, regardless, it doesn't matter. Go get a better job.

1:33:40You'll make an extra$2 ,000 a month, and that can actually start paying off some of this f***ed debt. And then you'll be fine in a couple years, and you can catch up on retirement. That's it. I'm done. We're calling into the photo. You're such a waste of time, waste of space. Let's get your hammered financial score. Spend it in a budget. you overspend 0 out of 10 debt you have no collections but this is horrible and grandma's taking care of everything 1 out of 10 emergency fund I didn't see anything in saving 0 out of 10 retirement well you have leverage against it you're buying for your age not great 3 out of 10 real estate 0 out of 10 hammer financial score f*** you you are a 1 out of 10 rounded up get yours at galephammer.com now click join join hammer lead the best membership on youtube with three premium shows posted every single day monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday and join us for the post show it is going to be incredible f*** you hey babe I'm trying to call you all morning.

1:34:23What's up? I've been busy. I had a thing to do. A thing to do. Okay, she's not telling you, so I will. She had an Asian man f*** her and f***ing her raw. You f***ing cheated, bitch. Babe, I don't feel like it was cheating because it was like a business transaction. Oh my God, you were such a f***ing lie. You know what? Bro, f*** this. This is the last week. Don't forget to download the new DollarWise budgeting app. This is officially now the best budgeting app on the market, and I'm giving you a special deal to download, but only through March 31st. Take a free three-day trial to test it out, and then you get the monthly plan at a 33 % discount for the first three months, or the annual plan at an insane 50 % discount.

1:35:06And with the annual, you get my budget-friendly cookbook and my brand new 30-day detailed budget meal plan signed by me and mailed directly to you. After March 31st, the cookbook is going away forever, so this is literally your last chance. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download DollarWise and start your free trial. Go to dollarwise.com or click the link below.