Privileged Freak Is A Certified Moron | Post Show

29:50But it was only$400 when I closed. Doesn't matter. They always go up. In a year? Do a little bit of research, yes. That's crazy. Well, also big expenses can come up if they need to replace a roof or fix a pool. Get ready for a big chunk of money to be due in like six months or something. Yeah, they can do that. I know. I already paid an assessment of$2 ,000. It's just like constantly. Yeah. Condos can be f***ed. Yeah, I wish I would have done that. First rental property of Bozaconda. Horrible mistake. Yeah. Terrible. I completely regret it every f***ing day. What's the interest rate? Is there an interest rate?

30:198%. When'd you get it? November 2023, I closed.

30:30Yeah, I could see you getting a rate around there for the... The bank was offering me 9%, and the people that owned it offered me 8%. What was your credit? What's your deal? What's the term? How much do you owe them? I'm not really sure. I pay them$1 ,200 a month I think last time I checked What was the purchase price? $180. What did you put down? $10. Percent or$1 ,000? Okay

30:57It's$169 is probably what you all want it Yeah I think it's$16 something Is it a 30 year term? Yeah

31:06Okay This is a fun one I get to get you free money And then I get to get myself free money It's a pure win-win for both of us. What do you have to do? Sign up for a SoFi high-yield savings account and get a welcome bonus of$300. Sign up for Acorns using MyLink and get$20 instead of the usual$5. Finally, sign up for Silo and earn up to$5 ,000 in cashback on your own stocks. These offers have been negotiated to give us both more money than using traditional sign-up methods. So use the links in the resources section of the description below and get yourself$5 ,320 right now. Why? Why'd you do this?

31:48I thought it was a good idea. I had the money in my bank. I had the$10 ,000, which I thought was awesome. My rent at the time was about$23 ,000. Did you have an emergency fund beyond that? I did at the time. Okay, at the time. A lot's changed since I was making$100 ,000. Keep going. Stay on track. Um, I was, my rent was$2 ,300 plus, you know, my utilities and stuff. The deal was presented to me by my coworker at the time. Like, hey, we're selling this condo. It was your coworker? Yeah. Oh, for fuck. Yeah. Big fucking mistake. Yeah. Yeah. That's weird. Not your coworker now, though. Correct. My previous coworker.

32:30Okay. Not the coworker that was from the boss. No. Different. But same job. um they were like oh your rent's 2300 and all your utilities like what we can get you this you know it'll be down to 1200 just a month and you know and you'll you'll be owning it basically um i didn't really look into the fees or what all that meant um but yeah it seems like a really good deal when you're paying 2300 plus utilities to go to 1200 plus utilities and a 400 why didn't you looking into every i'm so confused i mean i didn't really know i just it's pretty you know like people you can people will let you sign any paperwork it's worth 150 000 according to zilla and zilla usually overestimates some you'd certainly be losing money if you needed to sell it today 100 only gone down in value since you bought it yeah it's awful i'm i'm listing it like i'm listing it and i know i'm not going to make any money i just want to wash my hands of this thing completely.

33:28I hate it. It was one of the worst things I've ever done. It says it was sold for$196. Oh, yeah. Then that was me. $196. I thought it was$180.

33:39Oh, for f***ing f***ing. Oh, for f***ing f***ing sake. Yeah. What the f***ing? What is wrong with you? That is very different, especially when it's only worth$150. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was$180. Okay, it's probably worth... You probably owe on it$185. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, you're under water substantially, and who the fuck is going to buy a condo with that kind of fee? I agree. It's only gone. I know, it makes me sick. Yeah, I was listed for$150. You bought it over. Wait. Wait. Wait, you listed it for sale? Yes. I was going to talk to you about it, but I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna list it.

34:25I need to get out of it. I just got my tax bill. But, but, but, but, do you have, do you have like 30, 40 ,000 hours saved? No. To just pay him? So what the fuck are you planning to do? Ask him for help. Why the fuck? What are you? I don't know. Why did he get it to me? Have you talked to him? Yes. And? Um. No, and? Um. He understands that I'm working really hard and I'm super stressed and they are talking about what we can do. They're going to talk to the realtor. Yeah, they're going to try to help you to sell it for as much as you owe. But they're not going to let you walk out of the fucking loan.

35:03Do I just like pay that off? The loan? Or are you talking about the difference? The difference? One, you're going to lose likely 6 % seller and buyer real estate commission. You're not in a happy seller's market, so you're likely covering those, even though technically you don't have to these days. You can put it on the buyer, but you're not. So$150.

35:31So minus$9 ,000,$150.

35:37Certainly no capital gains taxes on this. Good luck. The$185 you owe. Great. So if you sell it, you have to come up with minimum$44 ,000. $40? $4. Oh. $44. $44? $44. $21. What the f*** are you doing? She's actively doing this. Like, right now. It's listed for sale right now. I did not know this. It's listed for sale right f***ing now. Oh my gosh, it's gone down in value so much. I know. It's also in a flood zone, so that's not really... Well, it's Florida. No, but, like, it's on the water. Like, it flooded right before I bought it. Four feet of water inside. This is the season for all your holiday favorites.

36:17Like a very Jonas Christmas movie and Home Alone on Disney+. Did I burn down the I don't think so. Then Hulu has National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. We're all in for a very big Christmas treat. All of these and more streaming this holiday season. And right now, save big with our special Black Friday offer. Bundle Disney Plus and Hulu for just$4.99 a month for one year. Savings compared to current regular monthly price. And 12-1. Offer for ad-supported Disney Plus Hulu bundle only. Then$12.99 a month or then current regular monthly price. 18 plus terms apply. Uh. What the f***? Okay. now that you heard that you're gonna have to come up with this what do you think maybe i can work something else out with them with who the people that i'm trying to why the f would they lose forty four thousand dollars why would they be okay with that well i think in my head which we've established isn't the best i'm glad you could recognize it without changing it um interesting great human characteristic of you in my head he bought it for i believe 130 doesn't matter this is a loan this is a loan but if i've already paid him like no how much have i paid well i don't know but it's all been interest towards interest but isn't he making money off of me it feels like i'm just paying him rent well yes you took out an eight percent loan he's making eight percent

37:34so he's making money yes so why wouldn't he just help me if he's already why would he help because he helped me in the first place. What am I talking to? Are you not able to see the logic to this? You're not able to see the logic on the employment side. Are you able to see the logic in this? Why? Unless he's a charity, which he's not because he gave you 8%. Listen, if he gave you 8%, I don't think he's someone that's just going to be like walk away. He didn't give you 4 % or something to keep up with inflation. But he gave me a better deal than the bank was offering me. It felt like a good deal.

38:05He felt like a little angel sent from heaven. So why can't he do that again for me? Why the f*** would he? To help me? Why would he? To help me not get f***ed for 30 years, hopefully? Yeah, but it was your choice. It was your choice. It was a really bad choice, for sure. Yes, it was, but that's not his fault. I'm so confused. What is this world you live in? You live in the weirdest... Oh, you're such a COVID child. You stopped development at 12. You do not live in the real world with the rest of us. Okay. All right. And then you get a cease and desist for operating your business out of the home?

38:42Yeah. Oh, for so far, so you're trying to build a f***ing business and you can't even sell the f***ing, you can't get out of the house, you can't build, oh, what the f***? That's how I feel. From who? Who's cease and desist? The HOA. Yeah, and you probably, that's probably correct. Oh, for f***ing sakes, so you can't do the business because you can't sell the house, but you want to sell, you want to scale the business, but you can't sell the house. Oh, it's so It is This is your fault Should have read over the contract I should have Everything in your life it should have but didn't and won't change Hopefully it will change Yeah, that's how things change That's the first step Right?

39:27Yeah, sure, but you did the first step of hope Forever ago and you've done nothing So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about Because I feel like I'm kind of stuck you are by your choices it's bad yes what do you think your financial score is zero to ten, zero being the worst, ten being the best where do you think you are in this world two okay spending double the income that underwater on their first house even though you put ten thousand dollars down fucking luck if you watch your score actually real estate will probably boost it but it's not going to be a good real estate score. It's going to be a very bad real estate score.

40:06If you want your Hammer financial score, see where you stand in the world of finances. Go to calebhammer.com and go to calebhammer.com slash apply if you want to come on the show. I'd be happy to have you. And don't forget, if you want to avoid being in a situation like this, go ahead and download my budgeting app right now. And for those who take the annual option, which saves you a lot of money, I'll also send the physical cookbook signed by me directly to your doorstep. So check that out. all those links in the description below. Let's get into the cards, I guess. We already did the mortgage, so let's do this.

40:38Wells Fargo, how long does this take to pay off if you only do minimum monthly payments, which, yeah, and you don't purchase what you're incapable of because you purchased a s*** ton because of course you did. How long does this take to pay off? Minimum monthly payments only, no spending. Are you asking me? That's why I said how long. I don't know how long it would take. How long do you think? Like five years? Okay, 18. 18 years? 18 years. Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah, you'll still be in your house by then, too. I fucking hope not. Well, you're right. I mean, you'll probably drown. Literally.

41:22Like in water. Yeah, literally. That's what I was saying. I didn't know if you meant like drowning in debt. Drowning in both senses. Ever feel like your Mac is begging for retirement? Fans blasting, apps freezing, and you're just sitting there wondering if a new laptop is your only option. Yeah, I don't feel that way because I found CleanMyMac. CleanMyMac is like a personal finance plan, but for your Mac. Instead of blowing hundreds on a new one, it cleans out system cache, development junk, and unnecessary files, cuts down on clutter, and even kills off malware with its moonlock anti-malware engine.

41:58Their smart care dashboard gives you full control of your Mac. You can clear out duplicate downloads, get tips to stop overheating, and make your Mac feel brand new without dropping new MacBook money. So if your Mac's been making noises like it's trying to contact aliens, use CleanMyMac to keep it on Earth. Boost speed, cut costs, and get tidy today. Try 7 Days for free, and use my code Caleb for 20 % off. Let's get back to the episode once your Mac stops lagging. Okay, balance on here. $4 ,896.84 with a minimum monthly payment of$133. Of course, we went and purchased$1 ,607.35 with interest charging of$83.55.

42:40That's crazy. My interest is... What the f***? She's like, that's crazy. It's right here. You said this. You know that. I didn't know my interest was$80.

42:51That's insane. You sent this to us. I just downloaded it and sent it. I didn't look at it. Why don't you look at your accounts? Why aren't you budging? Why don't you know anything about your money? I'm scared to know how much I spend on stuff. Because I think it's bad. That makes it worse. For sure. That makes it worse. I honestly had no idea it was that much. I didn't even know my monthly payment was$130. I thought it was like$50. Are you kidding me? I'm not kidding. How do you survive, dude? What are you even spending on? Chipotle, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Miller Ale House, Azure Cafe, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Rookie Hip Camp, Amazon.

43:38Pull off your Amazon for me. Pull it up. Dude, why? And it's all at 20 % interest in the world of credit cards. Luckily, you're not at the tippity-tippity top. But it's still f***ed. Yeah. But it's... I don't... What? I don't have... It's f***ed.

44:02Okay. Let's see. We got booty shorts. Lots of them. New faucet. Yeah, I mean, you are an owner. Is this a fireplace thing? You got a fireplace? It's a fire poker. Why are you going camping? You need to be working. Can't take time off or spend money on it. Pork chomps. I'm guessing that's for the dog. Plastic gloves. For camping. You don't need to be camping. How often are you camping? Maybe like once every other month. Wait, just, I need you to be working to pay off this debt. I mean, you can't afford to live in your own house. What are these? Back scratches? I don't even know. More dog chews.

44:40More dog chews. More dog chews. Body bar. Reversible mat. Come on, we're not getting mats. We can't afford to survive. Cheese Himalayan things for dogs. Okay, cut the dog thing by a third at a minimum. Two thirds. By two thirds. By two thirds, you're spending a lot. I get wanting to spoil them. Cut it by two thirds and you're still spoiling them more than most people. Tear tension corner. No, you don't need that. Pieces of African bathing shit. You don't need that. Homicidal microfiber cleaning. That's a lot. More bones. a dog snoop thing, and Oseum 4.5-pack odor something. First Aid Beauty. Did it work?

45:27No. Four-pack mop replaced heads. Running shorts. Did it work? No. Dr. Broner's Pure Castle, okay. Mountain House Granola, House Granola, Reusable Rain Ponchos. I guess you gotta wear that in your condo.

45:50Literally. Buddy, butter, six-pack, mixed-flavor, squeezable, whatever. Dude, this is fucking bullshit, and this is crazy, and we've barely even gone back that far in time. It's just dumb spending. It's just stupid spending. All for the sake of what? To spend double what you make? You want to change it, you don't. Just delete the app. delete the app you can redownload it it's so easy so i don't really have a lot of choice maybe we need to get you on a flip phone but like and then it'll just go online anyway on the computer but this is listen it's too easy for you to get that point and click dopamine reward and the package shows up you get excited and i like it too i like amazon but like i put it in a budget i put it in a budget and you could do it as well if you're putting it in a budget but you're not you're just blowing all this money that you literally do not have and you can't even get out of the house but$10 ,000 down you're going to be in a $55 ,000 loss.

46:45So be lucky that's if somebody buys it for the$150 you listed it for in the market we're in. Now good luck. I know it's fucked. I just wish I wouldn't have bought it as a terrible mistake. Sure doesn't matter you did. I just wish I would have done a little bit more research. Well you're just going to hold you're going to have to hold it more like a really big loss. Yeah. Substantial loss. That sucks. You're going to have to hold it. Why did you dislike the place? I hate it why the fees the neighbors i'm the youngest what's wrong with the neighbors i mean they're all on the board the entire board is in my building okay so i have people looking in my windows i have people okay they're looking in your windows literally like literally like okay that's really weird absolutely it's just it's not my vibe everyone's older too it's a retirement community for like snowbirds should you do research on this anytime i was a good deal when i buy a primary residence you know which it sounds like i make it sound like i'm doing that like every month no one's like okay like okay you know this year i'm getting uh well i technically already closed on the house i'm just renovating it but and then two years ago i got the house before this right but what do i do before i do that and how i saved myself on a house that i almost got that i was this close to closing on i knock on every door on that street i meet everyone i get their perspective for living there i do my research i go there at different times throughout the day you're gonna live there you want it to be great you do your research this is a fucking house this is a multi hundred thousand dollar loan this isn't something you just do out of the whim you didn't know old people were just going and dying well i knew that but i figured it was more of a snowbird situation that they'd be gone like half the year did you ask people so there we go this is your fault i mean this is your fault it's my fault but i don't want to i don't want to be in the situation even though this is my fault i know it's my fault well they're saying you put a big trip on here oh yeah skank fest yeah isn't that comedy it's comedy oh yeah i have heard of that it's so fun and i know right but you can't afford to live in your own place so we're putting comedy over living in your own place that's why it's on my credit card so i can pay for it that's dumb that's not cute that's not cute but i love comedy Cool.

49:06Watch it on YouTube. It's not the same. No, it's not. It's not. But you can do things you want to do when you can afford them. When you can afford them, you can't. You can't. You can't. But if I can't afford it now, I figured it would be paid off by the time the event actually comes in November. Well, good news. Okay? Instead of that dumbass gankfest bull... We're going to have a comedy show for you on Being Told and it's free. So here we go. The roast. The official roast of Janetti. Janetti. Janette. That's fine. Janette. We use fake names. I don't know. First up, marketing Josh. I wrote down some jokes for you.

50:01I'm so excited to hear them. A slight roast. I heard about your finances. So it was very easy to be creative for you. And I'm going to start off with this first one. You're so broke, your idea of a luxury item is a secondhand paper towel. You're so broke, when you applied for a credit card, the bank instead sent you a sympathy card. I'm sorry about that. I heard. You're so broke, your credit card got declined at the dollar store. Damn. You can't be doing that. You're so broke, you wash paper plates. That's rock bottom, girl. She just leaves them in her apartment. Aww. Make sure you never eat at her place.

50:42You're so broke, you count ramen noodles as a food group. Do you not? You don't do? I would never do that. Thanks. You're so broke, when you walk past a payday loan place, they just laugh. You don't even get accepted there. You're so broke, your piggy bank is on a hunger strike. You know who should go on a hunger strike? you're so broke you bring a spoon to the super bowl girl if you end up in the super bowl how did you afford that you're so broke your house plants wish they were weeds outside that's know how tragic that is that's it for me though the super bowl is what she calls her breakfast every morning next up on the roast of jeanette the office's favorite lesbian and video editor, Aaron.

51:32Woo! What's up, Jeanette? You're so broke your idea of meal prep is sniffing a food court. You can smell that Annie Ann's from a couple staircases away. You're so broke your couch has more coins than your bank account. You're so broke your dreams have a budget. How does that feel? Great. You're so broke even your check engine light gave up. and sorted her tires. You're so broke your idea of fine dining is a Saturday samples at Costco. You're so broke you steal napkins to use as toilet paper. That's just sad, Jeanette. It's really sad. You're so broke your welcome mat just says help. And that's what it screams when you stand on it.

52:21You have any roasts back? I just want to say your teeth are beautiful. Not really a roast. And we transition! And last up for the roasted Jeanette, the office's favorite degenerate, Brandon. Congrats on being f***ed. You're so broke, you can't even pay attention. You're so broke, ducks throw bread at you. You're so broke, your wallet has a cast and crutches. You're so broke, you go to KFC to lick other people's fingers. You're so broke, when someone rings the doorbell, you stick your head out the window and yell ding dong you're so broke even your imaginary friend won't lend you money you're so broke your piggy bank filed for unemployment and you're so broke your calendar skips payday damn oh my goodness as we just transitioned back i just read the craziest you know okay but either way there you go now you don't need to pay for skank fest okay you You had your little comedy show.

53:24We provided it for free. Okay. Okay. So no more. How much did this Skink Fest cost? The ticket was$600. And that's not including travel and hotel. When is travel and hotel? The hotel is probably going to end up being like$400. When? When? When? November. For f***ing sakes, did you get a afford your f***ing life? That's kind of why it's planned far away. Well, speaking of skank fest, what made me giggle is, I guess you're also obsessed with spank fest as well. Sugar mama? What? Sugar mama? You pay people after you f***. Oh, well, not all the time. And I don't pay them with money. That's kind of like...

54:14I don't know. I'm being red. Every time she boned someone, she would gift them gifts. I wouldn't say every time, but I mean, at least three or four times that's happened. Bought them AirPods and Apple Watches? Gotta take care of my babies. Was that just their pay? Did they want to? What? Yeah, of course they wanted. They were getting AirPods and... Yeah, because I was like, you're such a good boy. You get some AirPods. Take care of you. So we can't afford life, but we're buying P &I AirPods and watches? not all the time but i would say sometimes i'm so confused you can't even afford to pay your own bills i this is this makes no sense going out to you was like 700 bucks unknown shopping it's just like amazon and stuff was like 1300 miscellaneous bullshit was another almost 700 bucks so it's like what the are you doing you can't pay you can't pay to i just like to make sure they get a little little consolation.

55:21Trust me! They were happy if it concluded. Well, no, not like that. I meant more if they finished. Okay. Well, I don't know. Maybe that too. But this is like... Dude... Again, I mean... Look... I was just about to move on. You've had a late fee this year so far on this card. You're buying ball sacks AirPods? You're buying ball-sacks AirPods, and yet you're not even paying your damn minimum payment on time to this card. And you're spending$1 ,000, what was it,$500 on this card? And you're not even paying it on time. Why? I didn't know there was a - Oh, for f***'s sake. I know that's not a good excuse, but I genuinely didn't know that.

56:09Oh, my f***, dude. I didn't even know my monthly payment was so busy. Hundreds of interest this year so far. Hundreds of interest this year so far on one card. And then the late fee. I didn't know. We're still barely even into this year. I know. What? Was it late fee this year or this month? Yes! No, it wasn't this month. It was this year, though.

56:32The f***? Why wouldn't it be paid on time? Can you tell me that? I know you didn't know when, but why wouldn't it be paid? Just being stupid is f***ing. Okay. You're done then, right? Look, what's... This next one's for all you CarMax shoppers who just want to buy a car your way. Want to check some cars out in person? Uh-huh. Want to look some more from your house? Okay. Want to pretend you know about engines? Nah, I'll just chat with CarMax online instead. Want to get pre-qualified from your couch? Woo! Want to get that car? Hey, that's a beat! You want to do it your way? Want to drive? CarMax.

57:14What is this fucking conversation? If everything would do anything, I'm stupid. Well, because I want to write down the things that I'm stupid about so I can... And you're not? Well, I am. I'm making mental notes. But you're stupid. For sure. I am stupid, but I'm trying to not be stupid. You can learn. You don't have to be stupid forever. Right? I agree, but we're approaching 27 on Monday, you said. Yeah. I feel like I'm doing pretty good for 27. I'm glad you got into a house. You got into a horrible housing situation that you never should have. You should have researched. or you should have honestly probably taken our real estate class before you fucking purchased the house.

57:52But... No, at least you get to watch that for free now for your next one. If you ever get out of this house, good luck. Okay, Apple Card.

58:04$1 ,345.34. Minimum monthly payment,$60.

58:14Eight years to pay this one off. That's a long time. It's a long time. You'll be mid-30s.

58:24Massage? Massage Lux? Yeah. The f***? It's only$5. For what? I have my membership on hold until I get more money. So I pay them$5 a month, basically, to not charge me$70 a month. Oh! So I can keep my... So you don't even get the service! Correct. Oh, for f***s sake, this is so moronic. This is so moronic. You spend double what you make in your Spain to keep a subscription on hold? What the f*** are you doing? Bark.co, you spend enough on the pup. Apple bill? Pull up your phone again. You got a ring plan so you can, like, see someone collapse with a heart attack in front of your door? Yeah. Or the old people, you know.

59:10I just want to make sure they're not looking in my windows. won't you see them would that not be the same give i don't need to see your apple

59:25okay you just have icloud plus yeah that is that bill it's the icloud plus extra storage i don't know what so what's up with this card so this card is basically like it's you know it's easy when you're on your phone it's the first card that comes up when you go to pay stuff and it's connected to all my things um like my bark box and stuff like that yeah um did see that there's a couple things on ebay that i purchased on that card what are we getting on ebay who's You've seen eBay. What are you getting on eBay? I love eBay. Congratulations. I'm sure you do. You love getting things that show up to your house.

1:00:07I know. That's your pastime. I just love, I love stupid shit. I love buying dumb shirts. That's how this conversation started. Yeah. Dumb shirts? Yeah. Like, like who's a good boy? Yeah. That is a dumb shirt. I know. I got it on eBay. So we're going to potentially go bankrupt for dumb shirts. Interesting strategy. Is that your version of comedy? You love comedy shows so much. Your comedy is who's a good boy on our shirt? No. It kind of just sets the tone. How much do you spend on this bull? I try to get, like,$10 shirts. Where do you travel? I travel... I try to get out of the state, like, two or three times a year.

1:00:43How? You can't even come close to affording that. How? Like, credit cards and stuff. You can't... And you probably go fucking wild when you travel, too. Well... Just look at you. You can't control yourself while you're home. I mean, I... Honestly, I just black out. You know, the time that you're on vacation doesn't count towards the time... Which is great when we go on vacation once a quarter. i just like you make like 50 000 a year before taxes four vacations where we just black out and spend all our money a year good luck i know i just again i goes back to the i like i like it i like i know what you like i don't give a for sure i'm i'm just i like it i like i got friends in colorado I got friends in Colorado I have friends out here FaceTime them Right now?

1:01:30No Instead of traveling to Colorado But Colorado's cool I'm sure it is You can't afford Are you not understanding That it's like Great I understand it's nice I understand it's cool I understand you want to do it You mathematically cannot afford it Because you got fired from your last job Because you're irresponsible And don't know how to do your job That was the fault of you And you alone whether or not it was a petty fire, you still did something incorrect and you got fired. Oh no, the consequences of my own actions. Who would have thought? Okay. So that happened. Now you make less money. You can't live the lifestyle you did before.

1:02:09That is you making choices. I don't give a fuck if it's fun. It's all on you. And you do not have to say yes because it's fun. But the sake of your future, I obviously see that. So you need to sit down with a fucking therapist and figure that shit out. I'll gift you therapy. Three free sessions with Sondermine. They use them. I use them. They're great. Work on these coping mechanisms. Learn to say no. That's hard. I know hard things are... It's hard. It's fun. It's hard. It's fun. You're never going to do anything if this is your brain. You didn't know how fucking people banged at 19 and then you pay people the fuck after that?

1:02:55Like, it's like, okay. That sounds bad. When you say it like that. Paying people to f*** sounds bad. Reading it as I see it. Hanging out with someone for a month and then being like, all right, here's some AirPods. Ta-ta. That's different. In my opinion. So weird. Okay. Okay.

1:03:21I don't know. I just, you're, you haven't grown as a human mentally. But I own a house and a business and I have a job. You're underwater on your house by$55 ,000 and you want to sell it. You have a business that makes$300 a month and you can't operate it out of the place that you live in, which is where you're operating your business. Shut the f*** up. There's nothing to be proud of here. I feel like I have the things in place, just not the best execution. Is it a business credit card? Over the past year and a half, my team and I have worked with experts to create the literal best for financial education programs on the entire internet.

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1:04:39So join the over 10 ,000 people who have gone through my educational programs and have changed their lives. And to learn more, just go to CalebHammer.com or just click those links in the description below. Okay, yo,$2 ,457.16 with a minimum monthly payment. You purchased$353.00! For f***s sake. I think it's just gas, though. We'll see. Minimum of payment is$25, so this will never be paid off. How long will it take to pay off? It doesn't say, but it's going to take forever, that's for sure. My goodness. Yeah, some of it's gas, but there's also tractor supply. Dog food. $152 in dog food in one purchase?

1:05:27That's dog food and cat food, it sounds like. How many pets do you have? Well, I'm a pet sitter, so I always have to have extra stuff on hand. Not food, though. the owners have the food. It's always good to have extra and I buy it in bulk. Yeah, but feeding them something outside of their diet is going to make them not necessarily. Sometimes, yeah. But I have some dogs that are just like... I'd be pissed if my dog watcher fed them some out of diet food, not a treat. But what if you didn't send me enough food to watch your dog? I would. Not everyone's as competent. Okay, so it's when they're with you.

1:05:57But you can't do that in your place, business. I still do it. They can f***ing like... They threaten to fine me$100 a day. until i stop yeah and it can get worse too yeah but nothing's ever come about it since i got that one thing in the mail what's she's spending on the pets on a monthly basis oh i honestly don't know a lot what do you think probably like a band between dog food treats band that's a thousand right thousand dollars okay yeah i mean it's just like just buy a lot for the business and thousand hours a month on it but you make 300 so it's like well it's like yeah what a great business you're running you go in the hole for it but i do make more money than 300 that's just how much then i would say it's definitely less than 5 000 a year since i can't be full time on it i can't dedicate even 5 000 a year let's just say that that's 400 a month okay okay i was a little off.

1:06:59I think it's a little bit more than that. You said I don't even bring in$5 ,000 a year. I gave you$5 ,000. Yeah. I think last year I did well because I had more time dedicated to it but now that I have my 9 to 5, it's probably more accurate to$300,$400 a month. But prior I was making way more because I was able to spend more time on it. Oh my gosh. They're saying she spends 400 hours a month on something stupid. What else do you spend 400 hours a month on? Is it? Is it? You tell me. I don't know. Better not be. Is it? It's a s*** ton of money. Is it? Oh, it is! Oh, you spent literally$420 this month on weed?

1:07:46Are you f***ing kidding me? Are you f***ing kidding me? That's insane. That's kind of cool, though. $420? Yeah, that's hilarious. When you can't... Literally for life. You are a joke. You're an excuse for a human. I have no respect for you. I have no respect for you. I hope you do well, but I have no respect for you. You're a joke. You're a child. You're a joke. I'm sorry. I'm telling it as it is. No more roasting. No more little comedic hikes. You're a child. You're a child. You've never developed beyond, like, 12. I have no respect for you as a human. But I have all the adult stuff. Underwater on a mortgage?

1:08:20Is that an adult thing? Oh, yeah, it is. A lot of people are underwater on their mortgage, but at least they have a house.

1:08:29Is that not normal? Like, isn't it like a recession or some shit? We don't know. We have to have two quarters of GDP decline for a recession. 2.5 % of people with mortgages are underwater on their home. No, the majority of people do not. In fact, basically the worst, which was the 2008 mortgage crisis, was 23%. So not even a full quarter. So no, that is not the adult thing to do. You're in a small minority of people who got way over their head and didn't do the research and fucked over their lives. But doesn't it make my credit look good? That I own a house? Uh, your seller finance probably isn't showing up under credit.

1:09:14Oh. Right? I don't know. Is he reporting into the f***ing credit bureaus? I don't think so. I don't know. I'd be beyond surprised. Hey, honestly, actually, I'll be honest. I don't even know. Me neither. Yeah, it doesn't automatically appear on your credit. But you can potentially get seller financing reporting. You would have to take extra steps or they would have to take extra steps using like a loan servicing company or reporting it via third-party services like Rental Karma or Payment Report or Zingo. and you can establish a formal loan agreement, which I'm sure you did in order to report that history.

1:09:53So, I mean, it's possible. But also just don't people over. You took this. Hopefully they just take it back if you don't. I mean, they could. That'd be like best case scenario. I would love that. Yeah, but what if they go through the steps because you took them over reporting that, like a seller finance foreclosure? You want that on your credit? I don't know. I don't know how that works. because I just figured anything to do with the house will look... Well, it sounds like they can at least attempt to get it on your credit. That would be cool. No, the foreclosure. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. No, no. That would not be cool.

1:10:25Oh, dude. I just checked this. You spent 1 ,000 hours a month to bring in 400 at the max. This is moronic. This is not a business. Don't call it a business again. It feels like charity. No, for sure. Yes, that's close. Okay, well, this credit card has$0 on it, so I don't know why I'm seeing this. Oh, I think that's my car.

1:10:47Oh, there's a car on the second page. Well, it's at a 2.25 % interest rate of what your house was. I mean, that's a good rate for a car. What is the car? I have a 2018 Hyundai Tucson. Balance is$5 ,250.68. The minimum monthly payment is$427. I mean, it's chunky. Chunky, probably a shorter term. I don't know if you had this. How's the condition? What's the car like? I bought it in 2018. It's a great car. I love my car. I do fly through tires like a motherfucker, though. Why? Because I drive all over town for this stupid charity job that I love, but I need to figure out how to make money on it. But I've gotten at least two sets of tires in the last year.

1:11:33Well, I'll gift you a course career certification. Use the accounting one for your own business, and I think you'll learn that$1 ,000 out and$400 in equals no. But how do I get to make more money than$400 a month? We already talked about this earlier. What the f - I thought you were taking mental notes. I thought that was your special superpower. That's not a superpower, but I do want to know. You have to charge more. You need to charge locally so you're able to go in between places quicker.

1:12:02And, and, uh, you gotta just cut out the people that are far away and you're not charging enough. No more charity. You said it feels like a charity. We can't be like a charity anymore. I know. How much do you think the car's worth?

1:12:43eligibility vary by state um probably like 7 000 we're seeing what condition is it in it's pretty good done okay pretty good like fair i guess it would be okay it's probably worth like 10 000 then we're getting 14 000 for good condition oh wow cool yeah that's not bad right yeah yeah yeah yeah you're underwater in your house not your car i'd rather it be the car than the house, but... But I could always live in my car if anything happens. Is that you being cute or is that a real... That's like a real thing. If I'm homeless, at least my car will be paid off. For the sake, man. At least my car will be paid off.

1:13:28It's okay to be homeless. Great. All right. Student loans for what degree? It was a technical college. I went to be an esthetician, which is... Esthetician, really? Skin and nails. Yep. It just really doesn't make much money. Yeah. That field. It takes a long time to make decent money on that. Yeah. Okay? And it was awful. I was a waxer, and I only did it for about maybe six months. What the fuck are you doing? Why are you not paying on it? They'll garnish your fucking wages. I think it's called deferred. It's deferred? Or something like that. No, I see a regular amount of 50 bucks. I told them that I lost my job.

1:14:10All current dues, zero. Yeah, what are they going to do when you file taxes and they say, oh, she has a job? Well, that comes off, I think, automatic. They gave me a year. Okay, year until when? When's year? I think I start paying back on it in June, July. Okay, so it'll be 50 bucks. I'll just put that in your budget for now. But you stopped. Yeah, dude, I was a waxer. That means nothing to me. Okay, I was 18. You were waxing. I was waxing vaginas and dirty buttholes. Did you just, oh my gosh, you really do infantilize yourself. You chose to get into it. Also, it's just a private part. Who gives a f***?

1:14:50It's not, it's not f***ing porn. I'm so confused. It was a job. It was just like if you were doing something medical as well. And if you're uncomfortable, don't go into it. But don't do the, I was 18 and I saw a naked body. Oh my f***. What are you? I can deal with naked. You're literally a professional Redditor or Twitter user. You are a child You are the most Gen Z I don't hate Gen Z I'm in that weird Gen Z Millennial hybrid anyway So it's just like Whatever But what the What is this infantilization I'm 18 I'm 19 I've never heard of sex Oh Oh 18 I saw I saw a pussy Oh f*** No I can handle pussy And I can handle butthole But when a b***h is coming And running a mile And then comes in Like can I get a full Brazilian That is f***ing Can you give her a towel I can wipe her with a baby wipe But you can't have her?

1:15:41That's a little bit. Is there a shower there? No. No. Okay. Yeah, baby, wipe it up. Okay, you didn't like it, but don't do the, I was 18. I just felt like it was a lot for me as that age. If literally seeing a naked body for you was a lot at 18, then you probably shouldn't be out of sight of your parents. It was nasty. I can handle all the I can handle bodily you know I can look at a pair of tits and a vagina but a stinky nasty gross I don't think it has to do with 18 though I think that's disgusting I wouldn't like that either but not because I'm 30 but I'm throwing that in that I was also 18 that shouldn't matter I just got out of high school I didn't again I didn't really know what's going on I was just like what the what what is this why are you assigning childlike behavior to yourself you You were an adult.

1:16:36People literally go serving wars at that age. I don't give a f***. If it is too scary to see something that is stinky at 18, then you should not be driving a multi-ton vehicle at 70 miles per hour. You probably shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. You probably shouldn't be allowed to work a job where there are high-pressure situations because you are too immature. If you are incapable to exist at 18, you shouldn't be allowed to do anything. You can either infantilize yourself in nothing or in everything. If seeing something stinky is too much for an 18-year-old, then you need to be locked inside and coddled by your dad and be assigned a marriage.

1:17:17That's a bit much. Not really. If you are literally incapable of anything at 18, then I am not going to let you go have a job where someone might be a little upset if you don't do your job properly. I'm not going to let you drive a truck down a road. I think... I'm not going to let you go to college where you have to be responsible for yourself. Barely. I think I'm pretty responsible. I mean, I moved out of my mom's when I was 19. I can't be that infant-y. It was your words, dude. I was using your own words. That I'm a child? You said that was a lot for an 18-year-old. It was. Not really. Most of us be f***ing in high school.

1:17:59I don't know many 18-year-olds that have a grown-up job that also moved out of their parents. Do you live in a daycare? No, I live in a shitty small town. A lot of people go to college, which means they move out at 18. That is a very common thing in our Western American culture. In fact, it has been more common historically to move out at 18 since at least the 40s and 50s in our culture. Not where I'm from. Well, then where you're from is... it is okay cool that doesn't matter you don't know people who have jobs at 18 that's on them a lot of people my brothers a lot of people i know we go get a job at 16 so we can pay for the car so we can pay for the gas so we can do the things we want to do so we can go live an independent lifestyle you're so coddled what a disgusting joke that your age is it's crazy you're like two years you're like four years younger than me so it's not even that big thing You're not even 18 now.

1:18:58When you were 18, I was f***ing 22. We were not even that far apart. And I didn't act like this. What is wrong with people like you? I will never understand. I was excited to be an adult. I don't know what the f*** is wrong with you guys. You children. Good luck ever existing in this world, man. You make me sound like a boomer, but my f***, there actually is something wrong. There actually is something wrong. With the generation? I guess. Just with some people. The permanently, chronically online 18-year-olds who got separated from reality during COVID because they were locked inside. You know, that's what we all did.

1:19:33But they just couldn't operate in the world after that. And they've just, they're mentally children for the rest of their lives. I don't know what the f*** happened. It's crazy. And I never realized it until I started the show and had to talk to people like you. It's crazy. Okay. Is that it? Is that all the dat? That looks like all the dat. Hmm. I think so. Pardon me, huh? I feel like I didn't write something down. I have to look back real quick.

1:20:03I'm going to write down the car. How much is owed on the car? $4 ,000 something. $4 ,500 something. $4 ,820. With a minimum payment of what? I think it's$427. $440. hey we have 500 hours in our checking account we're just going in getting some bull probably vaping i can't believe how much you spend on fucking weed on monthly basis that's crazy it's like and that's just on my card that's not even cash spend 15 of your income what a joke 50 15 oh holy shit still insane uber eats oh my gosh 25 bucks there rib city ben went out money Zaxby's Uber Eats, Uber Eats PayPal-ing out money India's Grill Clover Venmo-ing out 15 Downtown House of Pies Starbucks, Uber Eats, Uber Eats Uber Eats!

1:21:00Spotify, Uber Eats, Etsy, Uber Eats Uber Eats! Oh, for f***s sake! Slice Life, Uber Eats, PayPal, eBay Uber Eats, Uber Eats There's some f***ing going in to get into a b***h at McDonald's! that was stupid spending for someone that can't survive plus another 400 on good luck good luck dude

1:21:28a hundred dollars and oh no a hundred dollars is savings down from 914 oh for sake well here's another account 2600 so what's what's that i think that's my business credit card uh for gas no it's not a credit card business savings

1:21:52do you have 2 600 in savings um is it gone i think i have a savings i think it's about 2000 okay oh my gosh i don't even know for f***s sake 731 dollars in robin hood okay yeah yeah oh this one's actually pretty good oh it looks like you've been contributing to retirement this This is a weird, random pile of gold in a stack of 50 ,000 hours in retirement. And for your income right now is actually on track for retirement. If it was your income of your last job, no, you wouldn't be. But okay. Wow. Well, let's see if we can budget you. I can't behavior and mental you, but let's see if I can budget you.

1:22:36What are you even invested in when it comes to those? I couldn't tell you. the Robin Hood or in my retirement? I have no idea. Extra value meals are back. That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just$8. Only at McDonald's. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California and for delivery. I had people pick it all for me. Who picked? My friends. Oh, I know. Oh, I hope that$50 ,000 stays there. but i don't know if it will if your friends are picking it yeah

1:23:15good luck dude okay 3 600 let me sit down with the financial advisor next time debonement payments okay 708 dollars not including the mortgage and hoa mortgage and hoa well you know 1 850 okay what about gas electricity utilities internet all that stuff combined how much 500 gas room from drive drive you drive a lot just in gas probably 200 a month like driving gas sounds crazy i thought it was gonna be car insurance 140 phone bill um i have mint so it was like 200 for the year so okay that's not bad and we always tell people to get on helium for 15 bucks a month that's also very good it's very similar so uh we'll budget you out to the well technically it would actually save you money.

1:24:04$17 a month for that. Necessary food,$300. Use our meal plan again. Cookbook! Cookbook! Use it! Budget-friendly cookbook,$300 a month. TP for$100. Anything else you need or want if you have extra. Medical, healthcare, anything on a monthly basis? Yes. Probably like$150. Subscriptions, no. But pet insurance? Mm-mm. It's included with my job. Okay. Pet food? $250. That's for dog and cats. Okay, yeah, I mean, you're underwater. That was pretty clear. $4 ,215.

1:24:44$615. Yeah, I mean, the house situation is a bit weird, but, I mean, you're under 55, so I doubt we can do that. And that's not including the other gas? Not Vroom Vroom Drive Drive? What's the other gas? it's also not including wheat no you okay all right i was gonna think of a plan but you that pisses me off spending a budget overspent zero out of ten you dad it's not it's not the worst debt you're underwater in your house it's not great two out of ten emergency fund it's two thousand bucks two out of ten retirement ten out of ten you're actually there for your age and real estate it's not great because of the situation but if you held it might work 3 out of 10 retirement is actually what's going to hold you you might get to that before that number that you said before that i wasn't expecting yeah hammer financial score rounded up 3.5 out of 10 you don't deserve it with that last statement pissing me off whatever all right join us in the post show ladies and gentlemen and if you want even more content thousands of hours join the best youtube membership on the entire platform join the hammer elite version you can watch the post show there and a bunch of other shows and if you don't want to be like her, download the Simpler Budget app, and you get the cookbook signed by me, like mailed directly to your door if you sign up for the annual version, see in the post show.

1:26:04Thousand dollars on. That is a low life level behavior. You're paying your boyfriend to be with you. I mean, I am. That is loser behavior. How many AirPods have you bought him? One. Just one. Oh, did you get him an Apple watch too? Um, are you doing this so you can like track them? exclusive members content. Click the link in the description or pin comment below and watch thousands of hours of extra and uncensored content.