Professional Redditor Treats His Wife Like A Pet | Financial Audit

28:39I said I don't want to be working. So if that means I need to retire at 46 and find a way to solve the problem one way or the other, including Canada and suicide. at age 50, then I'm fine with it. No, no, no. The problem would be in order to not work, you need enough money to sustain yourself. You could have been investing 50 % of your income since last year and it would have taken 18 years or 17 years from now. You could have been retired. Yeah, but that's happy. You could probably invest more if you really wanted to live in the household median income of$75 ,000. Here in Austin, you could probably retire in 13 years.

29:14That's just a little bit of sacrifice. Instead, you guys just want to live it up, live it up, live it up every second of your life. Major channel announcement. Budgeting, budgeting, budgeting. It's a new year. We're all trying to budget. We're all trying to make it a little better. We're trying to improve our life. A lot of people on the show, a lot of people out there that I've heard from, they try to start a budget. They can't stick to the budget. It's because it's all too damn complicated right now. You use any of the budgeting apps out there, it's crazy. It's hard to know what's even going on.

29:44It's impossible to set up and it's a chaos to manage. That's why over this last year, I did the thing. I made a budgeting app for you guys. This does not need to be complicated. You're trying to take control of your life. So it should be simple. It should be chill. It should be easy to set up and easy to manage. I've called it Simpler Budget because that's all it is. It's your simpler budget. But we upped the ante with continued education and an ad-free version. In the premium version of Simpler Budget, you can track your spending, set goals, and stick to a plan that actually works by connecting to all of your bank accounts automatically.

30:20No manual stuff here. There's actually weekly live sessions with financial professionals to answer your questions and keep you on track. They'll be teaching lessons, and you can ask them things, and they will actually help. There's also weekly mini classes, keeping you up to date and educated on every financial topic you need to improve your life. Plus, for a limited time right now, you get access to our new budget-friendly cookbook with 55 money-saving recipes to eat well without overspending. And because I love you guys and it's a new year, literally anyone who signs up for the month of January gets all of this, including premium, for free for a month.

31:01It's time to actually make a budget and stick to it for the first time ever. Let's take control of our 2025 and make this the best year ever. download the simpler budget app today a link in the description below this budgeting app will change your life and now to your goal you're further away than you've ever been because you just further in debt and you have no real investments to speak of you have a couple unicorns that you hope turn into something that's not a strategy because the vast majority of those fail right that's why i'm actively looking for more opportunities and um yeah it's called just the regular stock market i'm not going to give investing advice but um go through our investing class and learn how to define your investing profile risk associated with it and learn your investment portfolio based on that you get it for free so you take it you guys get it off 15 % off when you bundle it with all our other classes but you guys get them for free so why don't you do that i don't know and then you and then you said even something crazy like uh these documents this is taking take us forever he said something what did you say you don't believe in an emergency fund uh you're you're a father like that's just irresponsible i disagree with his his stance on this well good thing you're the breadwinner like i don't know i mean that is that is part of the issue so if i'm responsible for you know bringing in the income and and managing the bills then i feel like i have a little bit more liberty to take these these higher risks but you shouldn't though every money move that the household makes should be a collective from the two heads.

32:30I didn't know how much debt we were in until he told me how much debt we were in. When did he tell you? Well, you had a hidden credit card too. Well, it wasn't a hidden credit card. Hidden debt? It was a hidden debt. He knew the credit card existed, not the debt. Okay, maybe that's true. So when did you learn how much debt he had? So, we were building a tiny house on our property because at the time that made... When? Okay. It started around 2021. Yeah. So you learned in 2021? No. When did you learn how much debt he has was the question. Okay. That we have. Probably at the beginning. Oh, now you're a we.

33:12Okay. Yeah, when it's convenient. Oh, progress, guys. Probably at the beginning of this year. I learned. Not 2025. Sorry. Last year. 2024. Okay. So at the beginning of 2024, I learned that he took out$60 ,000 in loans that I didn't know about. Where'd they go? Where'd they possibly go? So we started a build for the tiny house that was supposed to be$140 ,000. And you thought that was cash flowing? So we had originally taken a cash out refinance. I have that loan. This is during the peak COVID housing pricing boom. So we got$166 ,000 from that. And then we signed on to a contract to do a tiny house build that was$140 ,000.

34:06It's pretty cool. It is really cool. And then they increased the price to$174 ,000. Who did? The builders? The builders. Okay. And we almost didn't do it. We really shouldn't have done it. but then we decided to go ahead. Is it making money? Do you have two homes? It's my office. He works from it. And guest house. What a joke. What a joke. Now hear me out. So I'm having a really hard time keeping down a job. Like the job that I had before this, I was only there for six months. Just the stress gets to me and being - And what are you going to do? Ever? For the rest of your life? That's the problem I'm trying to solve.

34:50Disability? What? Well, these lottery tickets, like if any of these. You mean the companies. Stop calling them lottery tickets. They're still stupid investments for your position. If any of the companies I either invested in or start print, then that's the solution. I don't have to work. He works way too hard. You know when people do these little angel investments and start up businesses in the way you're doing, they do it 200 times to hopefully get one. You've done it two businesses and then one you have. Your odds are not looking good. Right, so I'm just going to keep going until that number reaches 100, 200.

35:27Yeah, you're already a decade and a half into adulthood, so really keep going or we're only three in. I am 32 and I have given myself about eight years or so. After 40, it's kind of hard to get money because of ageism. Sure, but the median startup age in the United States is 45. not the unicorn technical startup that I'm trying to either start or be a part of yeah why have a successful business that doesn't get to a billion dollars but still supports our household and gives us the freedom we crave that'd be a horrible thing yeah right which is why we're here you're a child I don't know how you guys are going to make it through anything guys I really don't we haven't touched the numbers but you're still you're talking about an allowance I believe in your emergency fund haven't been able to even hear your defense of that one yet and don't believe me.

36:16Do you want to hear it? Sure. As far as I understand. Are you coming on here to just like mentally jerk off thinking you're like, you are intelligent in many ways. You've proven to be successful in some ways. I'm here because I'm wrong. Then why are you defending shit? To give you context as to why I believe this. And maybe you can help me correct my thinking. So as far as I understand. Here, I'll correct it right now before you explain it. It hasn't worked so far. A decade and a half. So f*** you, do something different. Right, but I don't know what that different thing is. So I'll tell you how I've been operating now.

36:49So an emergency fund, as far as I understand, is maybe six months of what it takes to run your household. Our household right now, even when we are telling ourselves we're cutting back and things like that, is more than we're bringing in. Because you don't budget, because you refuse budgets as well. So I would need to have an emergency fund that is over$100 ,000 just sitting there doing nothing. No, it's cutting to the bare minimums. You're not doing the bare minimums. You already defined it correctly. Are you stupid? Are you not listening to your own definition? Can you tell me what the bare minimum is?

37:27What it costs for you guys to live without giving up life. I mean, apparently that's what we're thinking. No, you're not. You're luxury spending. Go through it. Tell me what's stupid. because I'm thinking I'm living a life that I think. Sure,$1 ,212 on going out to eat. That's stupid. Don't need that to survive. How much would that be if we ate inside? Like, realistically. Two parents, two kids, ages five and well. So one's still on Titty? No. No, he's not Titty? Titty's done. I don't know when Titty normally ends. I've never had one. Titty can go on for longer than this, but Titty was done at one.

38:08because remember this is on top of our groceries shut for a second exactly that's 15 on top of you spending a thousand you spent a thousand 34 on groceries and a thousand two hundred eating now I could have done a thousand on groceries and you would have been fine a thousand okay what were those numbers again what huh what were those numbers again can you say the numbers again a thousand thirty four grocery stores and then a thousand two hundred twelve going out to eat So you're saying with$1 ,000, we should be able to cover all our food? Groceries easily. Not even an issue. He doesn't cook at all.

38:44Great. Do it. Working can't. How many hours a week are you working? Any time I'm not actively watching. Too many hours a week. 24-7 basically. Fun fact. Usually when mothers stay at home, they're usually able to prepare meals. Trad it up if you want to. I don't care. I am able to prepare meals. I do prepare meals. Wonderful. We solved the issue. But sometimes I'm going out and like if I'm going to doctor's appointments. Are you pretending generations of people have not done this? Generations of people had multi-generation households. We don't have. In the United States of America, though, at least in the 20th and 21st century has been more traditionally like this.

39:23If you're going back to an 18th, sure. And you're right. Other cultures do have multi-generational households. But in the United States, in a traditional sense, at least in the 20th and 21st century, is more traditional like this. I mean, I think. So you're dismissing them? At least three generations of people? No, I just, I think that we need some amount of relief for me cooking every single meal. I'll give you relief. Meal prep! I do meal prep. We figured it out. You cook only a few times a week and then you're warming up the rest of the time. Some of those eating out meals are actually. You know what you're doing?

40:04Do you know what you're doing right now? You're doing the defeatist, the it will never work mentality. And you're right. This will never work if you have that mentality. If you give up and it's not possible, it is literally not possible. People who want to do it, do it. Who have more kids than you and both work. With the lower standards of living, sure. lower your standard of living you entitled no I will not do that so go ahead and do it so that you guys are never able to retire and your kids put their lives on hold to take care of their irresponsible parents just like everyone else are you stupid what are you talking about my parents are going to be able to retire because they sacrificed eventually once they figured out financial literacy so I'm not going to have to put my life on hold to deal with them but because you guys are babies when your kids are trying to navigate their early adulthood they're gonna have to put their life on hold because their parents decided to not grow up past the age of five that that i think is acceptable to me and the reason is really they didn't consent to come in this world but you guys chose to bring them in and that's fair to put that burden on them you what entitlement do you have disgusting so i am a disgusting i am a first generation american my congratulations welcome to red white and blue my parents came to uh the united states from a country where there was no opportunity food insecurity was a thing cool even during my my home when i was growing up food insecurity was a thing my child eats food has access to food that's immediately better and if it means that you thought when i said lower your standard of living i said let them starve what the are you talking about why are you trying to take it to an extreme you're living off of basically 300 ,000 hours a year earning 200.

41:49I'm saying live off 100. I don't believe I should be supporting effectively a Nepo baby lifestyle of like me paying for their college. I do not believe in paying. I said you guys are retiring as you paid for their college. You are literally conflating things in the most stupid way possible. You were saying that. I forgot what you're saying. You can choose to pay for their college or not. I don't give a f***. That's up to you. I'm saying. You were referring to. Retirement when I said retirement. Yeah. Having the children, you know, sponsor our living. Yes, because they're not going to let you die under a bridge.

42:19What the did you think I'm talking about? They might. It's my job to make sure that I raise them at 0 through 18 to convince them that I'm a good investment. They could let us die under a bridge. Good investment? Fuck you. They're your investment, you piece of shit. You, they did not have a choice to come to this world. You brought them in by your choice. IVF and everything. so it is not fair to them that you guys decide you want to live the high life and take risk and live off a lottery tickets your entire life and then when they are actually trying to get ahead in life when it is their time mom and dad keep coming in begging for money because they have no choice because dad's bound to the bed after five strokes and then mom hasn't built a resume her entire life so can't get a job you know how i call out impulse spending on the show all the time let's be honest most of those aren't about needing that random amazon gadget or drive-thru meal their emotional spending stress burnout boredom it all shows up in your bank account i've seen over and over again the root of the problems can be mental health that's where today's sponsor sondermine comes in sondermine connects you with a licensed therapist and psychiatrist to help you break the cycle whether you're feeling overwhelmed stuck or just not yourself they've got you covered.

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44:10So let's make this the year to change from the inside out. I mean, that's a risk. That's a risk. Sure. It's not just a risk. It's not just a risk. It's a reality that hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people are living in this country. We're living that reality. Our parents have no. Exactly. So you're going to repeat the cycle of misery. That's great. That's responsible. Well, that's healthy. That's mature. That's what we want. When something bad happens from our childhood, my kids should have to deal with the same bulls**t I dealt with. I went up to school both ways. Both ways. Yes, that's cute, guys.

44:45Yeah, thank you. Well done. Exemplary parents. We haven't even started going through. I know, because you guys are a f***ing joke, honestly. That was embarrassing, and you should be disgusted in yourselves. Probably. let's see if you can fix this no i can't fix that i'm gonna go through the numbers but that is just your that's not that's your worldview and i can't fix that okay i don't think that world is broken i don't even totally agree with him and i think that this is one of the bigger problems is i have a more conventional understanding of how budgeting should work uh and i have then you guys aren't gonna last if you're completely polar opposites i don't think we are completely polar opposites.

45:27I think that he has different opinions than me and he I have let him so far steer the ship with the money and I don't think that we should do that anymore. Yeah, because that ship is crashing into an iceberg every day. That's why we're here. That's why we're here. But then you fight on everything.

45:51Guys, I'm not even going to ask them their score because I'm going to be dumb. If you want your hammer financial score, it's free. Link in the description below. And if you want to come on this show, apply at CalebHammer.com slash apply. You're not going to ask us our score. I am going to ask one thing, though, just because people have just, like, wondered and just always asked. You know, they always bring up things because they don't know the internal process. You're coming on the show. You're getting yelled at. I'm yelling at you and giving my truthful opinion and giving some jabs. Through the onboarding process for those considering applying, were you guys informed of everything that was going to happen?

46:28And you consented to it? Multiple conversations and onboarding videos? And you could increase it if you want to. I can take it. And you know the thumbnail is going to be not the most fun or it's going to be a little juicy I guess. I don't know. I think we need a kick in the pants. And then another big one. Are you guys actors or are you people from the audience who just applied to come on? I hadn't even really fully seen the show until he applied. And then I started to see the show later. The reason we decided I decided to apply was because I promised that I would seek a financial something. You are a financial something.

47:11There was a big fight about we need to fix this. There was a huge fight about we need to fix this. When was the fight, guys? Can you tell me how the fight went? how did it start and then how did it go and when was it sorry a lot of questions maybe about four months ago maybe five months ago basically i was noticing that the credit card balance one of the credit card balances uh wasn't going down and uh that's when the vibes were off and who managed that card so i spent money on it mostly and he was this the one that you didn't know the debt was there no no this is the the shared part okay okay okay go on basically say hey i'm noticing a problem and you know running numbers and with me taking a lower paying job to be a little bit more stress free we can do can't do it like there's math ain't mathing uh we need some help i say i keep saying well we need to create a budget and he says you can create a budget by yourself i don't do budget guy what are you and then i like i you have the chance for a generational change that is unheard of and you're throwing it away.

48:21Sure, but I'm not going to feel bad if I single-handedly don't fix the system. I can try my best. The system. Buddy, you have the most blessed position in the system. Sure, but others don't. So a good chunk of my money also goes to helping people who need help. Like, for example, the software agency I started in 2023. Oh, I don't see those. Where are those payments? Because that was in 2023. But that's where a lot of the money goes. So I think you don't know what the word help means. I think you're referring to helped. No, still helping. Still helping. So, for example, I give out loans to my family who don't make.

48:54Helping is making them pay you back. Okay, great. They do pay me back, but I'm not going to break windows. No, but I would just gift it and also make sure you're not enabling bad behavior. That's a completely different conversation, but go ahead. I don't think I have the money to gift. You don't have the money to loan. I do. I do. Oh, my. Okay. American Express personal loan. You guys, I don't think I'm ever able to have a conversation with you How many fights are there often? No Really? Because I couldn't talk to this dude for more than five seconds I'm good at talking to him usually Is that just by sitting and not saying a word?

49:30She needs to stay composed during the work on camera I'm just, I'm normally spicier What are you calling your wife hysterical? A little I don't know the exact definition of that word but I don't think I'd use that word. Overly emotional, maybe. I'd use those words. Why are you hiding it now? I'm not hiding it. I'm being myself. He just sees me as being really emotional. I don't think that I am really emotional. I think that I am emotional, and he is not emotional. Sure, that may be true. There's just a gap in emotionals. Isn't it good to have a good balance? Isn't it okay to have emotions, especially when spouses and children are involved?

50:08Yes. There's nothing wrong with having a little emotions. I'm not saying emotions to drive every decision-making thing. I think that that's maybe a core injury of his is that he has a hard time. It's a little serial killer-y. No. He has steeled himself against high levels of emotion over time. Why? If I knew that, I don't think we'd be having this conversation, man. Okay. Do you go to a therapist? I do, yeah. Once a week. Both of us go to therapy. Both of us have a history of complicated our families. Everyone does. Yeah. That's like welcome to life, right? Okay. American Express personal loans.

50:53Oh, fuck. Okay. $24 ,338.90. Wait. Oh, interest. Yeah. $165 of interest. And then you made the minimum payment. Minimum payment is$608.15. Substantial. I'm so glad you have your income because that would be insane It is insane but it would be Horrific I only took it out because I knew that we could Yes what did you take this out for and when To cover the increased price from the ADU Oh this was This was for the mini house Either that one The little micro dick house It's 550 square feet So is it even like a mini house It has a bedroom It's a bedroom and it's a one-bedroom. Being used for an office.

51:36One bedroom, one bathroom. And we were, so we applied to have it be an AS because we were waiting for zoning laws to change. And then we were going to get a kitchen in there, but then, and they quoted us out what a kitchen would cost, but then they ended up charging us 30 % over. Well, you said you did it during COVID. When you did it during COVID, you got good interest rates, but we also had supply chains. So like that went up. Yeah. Well, we didn't start building. What's the interest rate on this? I don't even know. 13 maybe. I don't know. So even if you were in the S &P 500, it wouldn't even matter.

52:11Yes, these last two years, but if we're averaging out forever, it's 10%. 10%, which is great, by the way, and not slow. I mean, I want to do better. I want to do better, and we had a big fight about budgeting and stuff, and I was like, I want to figure out why I'm making these choices. why I'm not able to self-reflect at all I I am able to self-reflect and and I think that that part of that is even being able to see the problem in the first place I I've had a I think until very recently there was this denial of there even being a problem at all it was I would come up to him and talk to him about money and he would say I out earn our stupidity and then eventually that became not true.

53:03That's objectively not true, but go ahead. Well, that was true. And then it stopped being true after I took a lower paying job and expenses went up. Well, I think specifically the ADU or the tiny house and the new, like the company really tanked what we had built at one point. And we did have something built. We did. We did have something built. He works extremely hard. Right, so this is a new occurrence in the past couple years. Before then, before COVID, we spent a decade together. There was one year we went to Europe twice. That was amazing. We could afford that then. Disney World. Not if you didn't have a fully funded or set up for retirement.

53:53Were you on track for retirement goals? Yes, I had about maybe 150, I think. And then we worked through it. In retirement. Wait, so you've pulled from retirement? Yes. That's what the 100 grand was. But, okay, so, I mean, this is what the fights are about. How often? It usually. Once a month, I don't know. Yeah. That's a lot. Jake, how often do you fight your fiance? Is that a lot? I mean, that's a lot. I hear that's a lot. I'm being told that's a lot. But we've been getting together since 2013. So I think that's a lot more than a lot of people. We also have young children. we have young children and that adds to the stress and let me know in the comments how often do you guys fight and can I watch next time I asked them, not you guys why are you watching you guys okay love sack, okay that was stupid has there been anything that hasn't been so far?

54:50$6 ,303 $6 ,30 what? what hasn't been stupid alright anyway moving on love sack was a couch as well as a$6 ,300 balance bean bag thingy a$1 ,000 bean bag $1 ,000 beans sacks of beans for$1 ,000 what kind of beans are these you should get one it's pretty cool what kind of beans it's not even beans it's foam but it looks like a bean bag it's nice it's comfy but we don't have room for it it's really big So where is it? It's in the ADU It's not actually an ADU Because there's no kitchen $96 minimum payment And then you got a couch$5 ,000 or$6 ,000 Because it was a$7 ,000 An hour loan to start One of those zero interest $6 ,000 couch I didn't realize when we bought the couch What is wrong with Facebook Marketplace?

55:53Put it over Westlake And get the most expensive furniture You can find for like$5 dollars the rich people just want it gone i agree he wanted a new couch and i i wanted a new couch to our old couch i got for yeah get a new used couch so the rich folks our last which you could be and you're not by our last couch i bought it was 180 for both couches and i uh went and found it on on uh facebook marketplace and it was great i loved it he did not love it he wanted a uh big boy couch. And so... Is young kids the best time to have new furniture anyway? Well, so this one, you can take off the fabric and wash it, which is a good benefit.

56:37And the... I mean, I think that better choices maybe could have been made there. Oh, really? Are we sure? Okay. Interest free until 2030. Lucky on that.

56:58You just, the lifestyle, man. Again, the$80 ,000 of the year, I think, is the median household income in Austin. You guys could easily live off of 100 and be better than them. I agree. And you can invest so much and get to your goal of not having to work. If you can show me how I can raise a family of four with$100 ,000. Yeah, should I go? And not have to restrict myself. Food is the biggest one. I don't have to restrict myself with access to food. You don't think people eat? Where are you? Okay, let me go introduce you to 2.5 million people in the metropolitan area of Austin. Who the fuck do you guys think you are?

57:37How do you think people live? So a lot of people have assistance from the government. you know food stamps like my family is not my but you're not even close to that level and i'm not suggesting to live down to that level i'm saying live above the median guys and you'd still be saving a ton you're not willing to live above the median call it 120 000 a year net you're not willing to live there what a joke if we can visualize what that leaving a job looks like no my job right now is a pretty good job if I do leave it for finding some more money but I love my job right now what is this blue cash prefer $30 ,000 $30 ,000 that's the credit card the one of the $30 ,860 $30 ,860.54 with a $922 you know how to live on$120 20 ,000 hours a year, not to have these minimum monthly payments that equate almost$1 ,500.

58:42Added up$1 ,500. $1 ,500 in minimum payments we talked about. Three cards. $1 ,600 in minimum monthly payments. Yeah, you're right. You probably can't cut your lifestyle down when you've stacked your minimum monthly payments up to a f***ing disaster level. Well, I just don't know why we couldn't have this conversation earlier. You know why? Because you guys separate your money and refuse to budget. So you have no knowledge of your situation, making it incapable of having an accurate conversation. Because you live like children. Because you're not a team. You don't have a conversation when you're not a team.

59:18You are two unequal parts living around the same household. And sometimes you can make kids. That's what you guys are. okay we want we want to try something different okay we do we want to try something what well i was hoping you tell us what that trying to your defensive okay thank you oh my god how How do you exist with this? I mean, I want to know like where I'm making my dumbest choices. I want to know. $7 ,000 couch to start. Yeah. Okay. We don't have money. I want to know what my dumbest choices are. I want to know what some replacement choices should be. I want to know what our obligations are because I don't even fully know.

1:00:16Like I didn't even get to see the finances fully. I was surprised. Didn't you? Because he kept saying we we aren't like. Why would you hide it from her? Why do you think she's not allowed to know as your wife? I don't think that he was hiding it. Not hiding it. She's we just don't look at it together. I think it's the same thing with my card. All right. It's a new year, which means it's time to stop making excuses when it comes to cleaning up your finances. But let me guess, you've already got a list of taquitos to fix. Credit card debt, random subscriptions, eating out too much. I get it. But here's something you probably are not thinking about.

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1:02:07Visit the link in the description below or go to highcapitalize.com slash Caleb to get started today. That's highcapitalize.com slash Caleb. Huge thanks to Capitalize for sponsoring this video. Now let's get back into it. Well, I'm definitely going to give my take on it. I'll give you a free session with the financial advisors I use over at Domain Money. You guys get a free session too for being a part of the audience. So sit down with them. We'll hook you up with that. They're really good highly recommend it okay no i mean look at this guys i mean okay plan fees for 5 204 of it at 51 bucks you made a payment yeah part of the minimum multi-payment goes there then on this 21 000 uh you made a little bit of uh larger payment but then you purchased or added 7 067 $357 on this card.

1:02:54What the possible f*** is? We just run our transactions on that card. Why? What's wrong with debit in your guys' world? Because$357 of interest there. I need the layer of indirection in the cases of fraud, which does happen because of my level of income, which is a common scam target. So a couple times my credit card info has been skimmed. Then why aren't you using a card that's at least 0 % for now? Because you're putting this on something that has taken away$400. Do they make 0 % credit cards? you're on one zero percent credit card what is that the last one we just talked about oh that so that was just one of those it's a store card but yes you can get cards that are zero percent for like a year or two years i'm not even saying you should do that get zero percent it's i can't put starves fine what about secured credit cards uh i'm not familiar what about a credit card we could do even let me compare this to one of our people fizz cards it only allows you to spend what's in your debit account.

1:03:52So you can, or you're checking account so you can't overspend on it. But what happens if someone steals? It's still a credit card in a way of the benefits and protections and benefits. So if someone steals the card and spends$5 at Starbucks. You can challenge it. Technically you can. Does it come out of the account so I can still pay my mortgage? Because there hasn't been a problem where there's thousands. You pay your mortgage on this? No, on the bank account. That's why I don't want normal. What do you mean? What are you asking? If my credit card information somehow gets stolen by the waiter or whatever it is.

1:04:26So if they spend thousands of dollars on it, it takes time to fight these things. It does. And you can fight it on actually debit. It just takes even longer and there's less success chances. And it's harder. Yeah, so that's the main thing I'm protecting myself against. Which I get. Are you using the protective and all the security measures online and password protectors in the monitoring services? America's credit card system is insecure. Granted, it's slowed down since the chip card. Our cybersecurity friends maybe would challenge our security. But like, I think that we're mostly. I'm not against that as a concept.

1:05:02I'm against you putting all your purchases on a card that is losing you$400 a month in interest. $400 a month you are actually paying just to use this card. You are paying a plan fee of$400 a month just to use this card. Yeah.

1:05:18Disney Plus. oh that's cheaper than child care cheaper than child care and then we still use child care prime video channels car wash guys we live in Austin it's not a desert or a snowy place you don't need a car wash throw a bucket of water on it it's fine apple those will be gone apple bill something zoo vending machine slotchkes slotchkes burger king netflix really nothing good on there I know anyway dutch bros Fetch oh I heard it was okay Fetch Apple Build Dutch Bros Orange Leaf Amazon Kitty Poo Club Fetch is is pet insurance oh I think is that the little crystals it's no it's the one it's so I have ADHD and I have a really hard time with things like like like that that are what do ADHD sorry sorry sorry it's kind of like veganism like every ADHD person has to tell everyone they have ADHD.

1:06:19Well, because ADHD people like to talk. But I assume it's playing into this story. So go ahead. It is relevant. It's okay. So I was having a hard time making sure that the litter boxes were as clean as they need to be to have healthy cats. And so I decided to try this as I've tried every other different thing. It's very expensive. It is very expensive, but I keep the litter boxes clean. And so I think that... You can't go buy litter. uh because of adhd no that's not the issue you have to join a subscription plan the issue is the cleaning of the boxes so you throw out the whole like it you just bought close it up oh what about the auto cleaners and just manage it like a responsible cat owner those are so this is how i have found a way to be a responsible cat owner found a way with also laziness and it's not laziness it's a little lazy you can't set a reminder to clean i i can unset a reminder to clean and i can get distracted from it it is not laziness distracted while you're cleaning uh yes literally while you're on medication uh now i am okay there you go so we can go back to it i wasn't on medication when i was going through all of the like and you can be a stay-at-home mom successfully and you can't focus on cleaning a litter box uh i can because I have given myself this support system, which is a product box that you can throw away.

1:07:45This is the one thing you couldn't make it through at home. It's not that much different like price wise. Yes, it is. It's not. We were having cat owner conversations yesterday when we were going through this. If I have two cat boxes and each bag of cat litter costs$40 and I'm also buying cleaner. Okay. and I do two of those bags a month. Cleaner you buy in bulk. Jake buys six containers of cat litter each month and it's 60 to 70 bucks for six containers. What cat litter? I have a weird cat. I have a weird cat that has substrate preferences. Always an excuse. I mean, this is a good excuse. I will defend that purchase.

1:08:24It might be, I don't know the cat, but I would listen to the vet over just like trying to find a reason to justify this. I don't want my cat to be unhealthy. and i'm not saying that either i had the other uh forms of litter boxes i would let them go too long i i was embarrassed unmedicated uh yes and also daddy can't chip in he doesn't the cats are my cats so he doesn't do that mine mine mine everything we don't the cats of the house we don't even define as ours this house is so weird guys you guys are you guys are not partner no you're not partners. Oh, that's not true. No. We're partners in a different way.

1:09:08And the fact that you made kids, other than that, you guys do not act a lot. But you don't partner on things. On everything. Sure, we don't partner. The word partner, you're a couple, doesn't mean partner. Doesn't mean that it's not valid. No, no, no, you guys are a couple, but you're not partnering together. We are partners. You're wrong. I'm just thinking of the actual definition of partnering on something, like a group project. You guys don't do that. You're individual on everything you guys are on everything divide and conquer what are you doing we're doing you me what am i doing in what capacity i guess ordering boxes of cat okay stuff i believe that the cat litter is within our means if even if we cut down it probably is it's just an example guys i can definitely make that a priority to make sure that we keep that because I also don't want to be and I get it this is an example same with the Spotify thing I don't really care I wouldn't buy the kiddie poo club but because I'm able to feed my kids I make that choice so there are different layers that is one of the layers and I think that the health of my pets is really important I agree you are acting like I disagree with that you were just making because you were saying you disagree no you're making it sound like there's no other choice and you refuse to have any kind of compromise you refuse to believe that you're able to clean litter also guys income that came in from his payroll was eight thousand seven hundred eighty it did zell in two thousand and there was atm cash deposit of a thousand we got up to like twelve thousand five hundred ish with that thirteen thousand ish yeah we spent sixteen thousand five hundred fifty so as long as i can put food on the table for my kids there's no way that's right because each week should be around twenty nine hundred i'm sure you like spreadsheets here's one this is your literal numbers so shut the fuck up where is the payroll 87 83 literally the numbers in your documents not really disputable dutch bros orange lease south park meadows amazon more kitty poo club car wash come on come on apple dutch bros pokemon oh yeah i used to be in pokemon uh cards I have thousands of dollars worth.

1:11:25Used to be. I see this purchase right now. Oh, that was a hat. So I wanted to save money on haircuts. You don't go outside. Who cares? Just take scissors to them. Have the seven-year-old do it. It'll look just as good. Maybe. I combined their ages. You did. Okay, whatever. Apple, Amazon. Again, it's not the purchase I care about. It's the example. It is just the overall. all we can excuse and justify everything okay prime video summer moon and i love my moon milk i lactate that nord vpn apple apple uh airplay what are all these apple charges that are just constant throughout here some of them are another apple then door dash mcdonald's and then door what are the amounts on the apple charges uh 99 cents for one that's probably storage and then $33.40 on another.

1:12:22$33. Oh, is it spoke? Then an apple,$0.99. Apple,$11.89. Pork bun. And you're doing all this while giving the card$400 in interest just to do this. None of this is necessity so far. None of this is necessity. The litter is a necessity. Okay, cool. So, like. And a percentage of the food. Sure, not the entire amount. Okay, so out of the, what was it that I said? 7 ,000 hours spent? 400 hours is a necessity? High fives, guys, all around. Let's celebrate with some cake. If you're doing$3 a meal per person per day, right? That's a good number. Or 12. Map, I don't know. In-flight Wi-Fi. Probably shouldn't be going anywhere right now.

1:13:12Can't afford it. There's the airport. Family trips. Congratulations. Where's your family? uh massachusetts and dallas so we drive to dallas and we fly to massachusetts yeah i don't think you're flying to massachusetts i am flying to massachusetts okay then just you yes yeah i am just me really my my my sister just had a child i'm gonna go visit visit and i'm taking my baby with me you are gonna make it sound like i'm against this but here is the thing you literally cannot afford it on a good earning month you still spent two thousand five hundred dollars I'm not missing my... You're not willing to do anything, is the thing.

1:13:48I am willing to do something. You justify every little thing. Well, yeah. Because otherwise we wouldn't have done that. I'm justifying the things that are justifiable. If we can't justify it, we shouldn't have done that. But these are our justifications for the decisions that we made. The decisions you've made of spending$2 ,500 more than comes in. Yeah. Justifications we made to give our children a shit future because they're going to take care of you. Right, so that's why you should tell us which ones we should start getting. Everything so far. I disagree that the trip to see my sister and her new child is.

1:14:15Was it a one time or is this ongoing? Because you say I will do this. We go a yearly during Thanksgiving Thanksgiving. But then my sister had a baby in December and I'm going in January. That's reasonable. That's reasonable. How many? Because you said I will go if it is a one time thing. That's not what I'm freaking out about. It's just a continued stack of the example of not stopping our purchases to see family once a year is reasonable. I will stand by that. I'm not saying it's not. I'm saying when we blow all our money and we have zero dollars, no spending money we don't have is not reasonable.

1:14:50You entitled. I disagree. It's like you disagree. You think you're entitled to spend money. You do not have. Yes, that's what a mortgage is. You're in debt to the bank for whatever percentage. And then after 30 years, a mortgage is an appreciating asset. A flight does not. You piece of shit. Stop trying to come up with an example that is not working. Speculate on your housing, sure. But there are many people who bought houses most recently in the market cratered. Now they're negative 120. You buy a house for a one-year outlook? Buddy, you don't know the first thing you're talking about. Probably shouldn't have built one.

1:15:21Sometimes you're forced into selling because if you're laid off, one of these corporations. Which is why you follow the housing method that I advocate for, only 20 % down. So that if you do have to sell it on a downtime, you don't have to take out money extra. Wait, why would that work? Because you already have an equity position. Never touch a house. You don't even know what 20 % down means. But you lost the money. Don't even walk towards a house. I would have kept the$20 ,000. Granted, I would have spent it, but I would not have to give it to the bank. I say go visit your family once a year.

1:15:53I say go visit your family once a month. That's what I say. I say when you don't have money to survive, we don't spend the money we don't have. How is this a crazy concept? I'm not missing my family's life. I believe you should be able to leverage the debt, the credit lines that these banks are. This is not the transaction to dispute. This is not it. They all are because you don't have the money. You don't have the money. This is not. You don't have the money. I'm saying I want you to spend the money to do it. Time is irreplaceable. I am not missing moments like that for my family. I'm not saying do either.

1:16:34But hey, listen, lady, you are incapable of understanding what I'm saying somehow. I don't know. This is impressive. Borderline. Like I'm my mind is like melting out of just like sheer. Just like let's we need to crown this moment that you are unable to understand words that are going over your ears. I think we understand. I agree. You do not understand the claim because I would say cut back on everything else so you can do the flight because I support the flight. But if you are choosing all the other purchases that put you$2 ,500 over your spending, no, you don't get to do the extra shit you want to do.

1:17:12How is that hard to understand? How are you guys parents? Good luck. Well, it doesn't, you don't need a certificate to. Yeah, but the fact they're still alive. Good job. I don't know how it happened. I actually am. Target, target. Great parents. We're great parents. Great. Yeah. Okay. Again, they could be dying in poverty. If you continue this, could be. Do you know what the word could means? It doesn't mean right now. They're going to be taking care of you guys. This isn't the acts of good parents. You guys are putting your selfish behavior above them. That's fine. They can leave us under a bridge.

1:17:49That's fine.

1:17:53Target, Target, Hulu, Starbucks, Tesla subscription. I don't know. What? What is it? It's$10. What is it? Well, the premium connectivity? Yeah, but the car is$1 ,000 a month. So I thought... I'm not sure why you didn't immediately make that. Because I'm not at that statement. I didn't know it was$1 ,000 a month. $950. And then also there was the self-driving. Yeah, the self-driving. I've been writing the free trials, but it's$100 a month on top.

1:18:35I've been trying to get rid of it. It's on my list to try to get rid of it. Congratulations. We're choosing that over seeing our sister's newborn. Okay, that's... Well, that was in 2022, and her sister wasn't pregnant in 2022. Test payments right now. Well, I can't just stop paying it. You can sell it. I tried, and it's underwater about$12 ,000 or$13 ,000. You can borrow the difference, and I doubt that. I tried borrowing. Your debt to income? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what a mess. It's bad. That was about six months ago, I think. So after paying a lot of these debts down, I might get closer to. But I also thought about buying a trash car and hoping a dealership will roll over the negative equity and effectively forcing a refinance, which I've also tried.

1:19:24I don't know how you guys are going to make it in life. It's crazy, guys. It is crazy. but we're crazy that's true we are crazy I'm crazy we're so cute yeah thank you Amazon Disney Plus Dutch Bros Smoke ADX Slaughter Amazon Amazon Amazon you guys think because you're touching each other you guys are partners we are partners not in the definitional word Chipotle Zoo favor Pete Harry's, Target, Odd Pizza, Marshalls, spending all of this on here just so we get the luxury of giving the bank $400 a month. I think that's fair in exchange for the access to the capital. I consciously... I agree that is fair, and that's why you're doing it.

1:20:18And if you're okay with it, then this conversation's done. Because it doesn't matter. I agree that is fair. I would say don't do it the fact that you don't give a what is the point then what are we talking about we are telling you what our justifications have been over time and they are good or bad clearly maybe bad I haven't heard one good yet I have what uh I'm happy with my choice for the kitty poo club and I'm happy with my choice to buy tickets to go see my sister and her baby yeah I'm good with that too if you had money? We have money for those things. You spent$2 ,500 more than you brought in.

1:20:58You don't know what having money is. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Just pretend that that$2 ,500 didn't go to the flights. It went to food delivery. You just have to adjust. Those are not things I'm cutting. I didn't fucking say that. How are you still incapable? I said do it if you cut the other and you didn't. How have you Survived without being able to understand What a sentence is Columbian coffee Near times Barnes and Noble Home goods home life What? The coffee So you're going to see more charges of the coffee There was an issue I accidentally got like 8 months worth of coffee Sent to me It was like what$400 Or something like that we'll drink it it lasts it lasts l.a fitness hummus cuisine airport pizza article target lush nails chipotle hudson in motion starbucks patreon it's not even ours probably who's subscribing to on patreon oh uh funny fridays yeah she's great she's great how much content does she upload in her patreon uh i don't follow her patreon actually i just pay for a patreon because i like her content and so i see if you guys join our youtube membership we have over a thousand hours extra content we have more extra content than i think any other membership that we know of yeah i mean i agree so also you have debt so i don't want you to support creators because you have debt and you're not living and surviving and you're going to die in poverty.

1:22:48What happens next time dude has stroke and can't work, though? Like, seriously. You know, it's horrible, though. Sure, but. You're talking about cutting lifestyle, not back to 110. What are you going to have to do when you cut lifestyle back to 30? As far as I understand, my disability insurance is percentage-based. I get 60%. But you're not even willing to cut back to close to 60%. If I get free 60 % income, I will figure out a way because my ultimate goal is to not work. You won't figure out a way. Sure. That's true. I have zero desire to go through the rest of this with you guys. That's a lot.

1:23:23There's important information. Yeah. And not information that's going to change anything in this conversation. I have zero desire to go through this. Who has an Audi? Oh, that's my mom. It's under my name, but she pays me for it sometimes. That's insane. I agree. You know, it's past due. Yeah. Yeah. Two months now. I mean, it's affecting. What's our solution here? Third month when they they repossess the vehicle. Uh-huh. On your credit. You're expecting this to happen. Yeah. You're OK with this. No. I mean, I don't. Who has it again? My mother. My mother. And what are the conversations like? Why'd you allow her to get a thousand hour monthly payment anyway?

1:24:12The fuck's her income? Zero. What is happening? She is also a homemaker. Oh, what does he make then? I don't know the specifics. And you allowed, you signed? You signed for this? You signed for a thousand? Well, she said she'd be good for it, so. Oh, so clearly. Maybe that's how every bank should operate. I mean, I think that's how they... Oh, you know what? They said they're good. That is how they operate. That was not your... I mean, that's why they gave us the money. They checked your credit. Yeah. You did not check your credit. Well, I don't need to check it because now it's about the same as mine.

1:24:51Yeah, but him, the bread earner that you're relying on, you don't know how much money is coming in. Usually when you apply for a loan, they ask how much money is coming in. Well, it should be only my name, right? No, no, no. I'm saying you expecting payment from them. We're the creditor. Oh, no, I'm not going to do a background or whatever. Dude, you're such a f***ing earner. I mean, yeah, sure. I'm sorry. That I 100 % agree with. But if I channel this dumb ass in the right direction. Which you haven't in a decade and a half. Yeah. Then I think I can make it work. I seriously. We just have to be dumb in the right direction.

1:25:24I seriously do not want to continue this. I legitimately do not. Me, me, Caleb Hammer. Me, here, not even on the show. I do not want to continue this conversation. I have zero interest in continuing this conversation. you guys are so lost in therapy together that's what this is I'm not a licensed therapist shut the fuck up I hate you and a therapist wouldn't say that so you guys need couple therapy we have been in couples therapy before you tried you tried I fired our last one oh she fired the last two yeah I did but we wouldn't talk about anything real

1:26:11okay so we do want to do better we do I don't think he believes us no not for a single second you already tried couples therapy then this is not gonna help well those the finances and our dumbassery there is different than the dumbassery in our relationship I don't couple those I hate ending it I hate ending it earlier I just There's nothing more that I want to do Than to just end this Like the show In this context I just want to be done

1:26:52You guys have friends? Yeah Okay that's a bye We do have friends I choose to not seek those types of relationships most of the time. You have some friends. Some, but a lot of people go out of their way to have additional friends. I just don't have an interest. $4 ,000 on this card. $1 ,000 of purchases. I'm not even going to write it down because it doesn't f***ing matter. Taco Bell, Academy Sports, HomeGoods, Rockstar, Spotify, Target, Goodwill, Target. 19 % interest. $700 in interest accrued Wait which one? I don't know I threw it and I'm done Another Wells Fargo $905 of purchases But you put money towards this one This one looks like that one's actually paid off But even still it's still$900 of spending That could have gone towards other things Went to bin wash Oh insurance it looks like our Quarterly insurance or biannual insurance What bin wash?

1:27:54No progressive$824 Oh, that's the insurance for the Audi. Since my name's on it, I have to be the... Insurance how often? Monthly. $690 a month? Yeah. It's not... What? This is... This is... There's like... No, we're done. There's like four drivers. Okay, okay. And one of them is 17. Go sit down with the professional financial advisor that it connected you with because this is done. I looked for alternative rates. Buddy, you're done. This is done. I looked for alternative rates. This is good luck. Good luck. I'm done. They were the only ones who provided. Shut the f*** up. Even gave the rates.

1:28:46I.

1:28:52Okay. Surely we're not the worst, right? Maybe.