Racist B*tch Has $0.02 To Her Name | Financial Audit

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25:23That is pdsdebt.com slash hammer. pdsdebt.com slash hammer. Have you ever considered that as a possibility? Yeah, correct. And all of those apartments the week ahead of this one were trying to do that. And I lost a lot of money. I lost a lot of money. That sounds like you were a moron. Yeah, I was. Well, because I was in panic mode because I just had left my boyfriend and I didn't have somewhere to live. And I don't know anyone here and I don't. So, yeah, I was stupid about it. I, yeah. That's you being a moron. That's not you praying, though. No. That's you being a moron. Correct. About me not, like, about me losing money.

25:56That was me being a moron. Correct. It helps a lot of people in every religion. It really does. Exactly. It makes people feel good. And it helped me out. Yeah. God helped me out. He found me an apartment. I love it. He helped me find an apartment. No, you were a moron. Yes. All of this was the actions of your choices though. But so now the action of the tithing is my thank you for letting me stay. It's like my thank you to God. So you chose to leave your boyfriend enough. Yes. You can think of it throughout the rest of your life. I love that. I love that. That's great. Do it. I do not care. Period.

26:23I'm not doing that. But right now fix your shit and then give more and just make up what you didn't. Well, I can fix my stuff with like other things. Like I can't, like I have a sponsor kid. I mean, that kind of breaks my heart though. I can't get rid of him. His name's Joshua. He's in like, I don't know where, but I pay like 40 bucks a month so he can eat. Sometimes he eats better than me. I gave him like a traditional African name. So what's the baby's name? OJ. Yeah, it's through World Vision. Oh, it's just like a big sponsor kid Christian thing. Look, Joshua gets to eat and that's all that matters.

27:03I hope Joshua's real. I think he is. I have a picture of him on my phone. He's really cute. Yeah, that's very difficult. He wrote me a letter. That's also very difficult to do. I think it's a legit company. They're very well known. It's a company? Well, I guess it's an organization. Google it. I'll come right up. We just did. It is a legitimate international charity, but it's frequently. Oh, shoot. It's frequently what? It is frequently impersonated by scammers using fake loan foundation schemes. Oh, no. Phoning job offers and phishing websites to steal money and personal information of which, if anyone I have ever met, would fall for.

27:42Okay. So, okay. 10 % goes to tithing. Sounds like we're not going to get anywhere there, so continue. Yeah, that's a non. Okay. So then, tithing always comes out first. I'll give the money back. I'm not against tithing. I am against you being stupid. Continue. Okay. So then I pay my dad some bills. So I pay him on the first of the month. Pay your dad some bills? Yeah. I pay my dad car insurance and for my phone bill. So I pay him$2.25 a month. I've MMO him. So half of that's$1.13. Why aren't you getting those on your own at that price? Well, okay, because— The helium at$15 a month. You're in Texas.

28:22Helium's good. I'm only paying him$25 a month for my phone, and it's for the actual phone. Oh, for fuck's sake. It's not for the plan also. You financed the phone. Continue. I did. So I pay him, and oh, and my car insurance story is that. What? You said$113? No, you told me$213. You wrote down$113. No, I said$113, and then I said I pay him total$225. A month. A month, yeah. Continue. So the$200 car insurance is because I tried to get car insurance on my own, and they were trying to charge me like$800 a month. Continue. Okay. So then I have like my student loan, half of one is 50 and then another half of the other one is 23.

29:03And then I have half of my... Eight of an individual? Okay. Well, I have two different ones. Different accounts or different loans that are the same account? Completely different loans. But one of the loans, the Mohela loan is two loans into one. So I have three loans technically. And then I pay like$150-ish for electric. So is that$75 half electric? From your savings, yep, continue. Well, from the paycheck, technically. And then I pay$50 for internet. Okay, now I'm confused. So you're living on your own now, and you spent a lot of money to make that because you just chose to leave. You guys moved to Texas together, if I'm not mistaken.

29:46Yeah. So you guys moved to Texas, and you immediately were just like, nope, actually, I don't like you. No, no, no, no, no. Let me go live on my own and blow a lot of money. No, no, we were having issues communicating and agreeing on things. Well, that's good. I would move across the country for someone that I'm doing that with. No, it wasn't like that until we moved. Like, things just got more difficult when we moved. Why'd it get worse? Well, because when, so when we had moved in, it was my ex's first time ever leaving his home, like, with his parents. He never even, like, went to college. And you're going to move across the country with that?

30:18Well, I was going to marry that. I still want to one day. Oh, okay. Bro, you guys just cut it like a week ago. So here's the thing. No, we're just trying to do it right so we don't actually fail this time. Is that the guy you showed me? No. So you have eyes for two men? No. That's very Christian of you. No, I was interested. No, she was showing me pictures of a very handsome cowboy. And he was very handsome, but I. That she wants to. Oh my gosh. No. No. I wanted, so I introduced myself to him a while ago. Come on, Christian girls are the craziest. Well, I used to be, but not anymore. Always happens.

30:59It's my purity ring. Ugh. Did you just, ugh? Yeah. No, it's cute. Girl, just have fun. Okay. I had a lot of fun, so I'm okay. Uh-huh. Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh. So, the ex. Yes, you broke up with him? Well, so here's the thing is when I had moved out, we were having issues communicating, and I thought it like I moved out still wanting to marry him, and it was like right before we were supposed to get engaged. So here's the thing is I— And he had never lived anywhere besides his parents, and you were about to get engaged to this man. Yeah. How long were you guys together? Like a year. We were going to get engaged.

31:36When were you getting railed endlessly then? What? When were you getting railed endlessly then? Because you just said you had a hoe phase. Like how is that even possible? If you were with him since 20, when were you just, when, what was your hoe phase? Like two months? I never said it was a hoe phase. I just said I had fun. Like I was a party girl in college. I partied a lot. I drank a lot. You got with him at like 20. Well, I got. When were you having fun? 18 to 20? Yeah. That was fun. Two years of your life. Okay. Yeah. I went to Chicago a lot. I did a lot of clubbing, but it was like a lot.

32:07So it was like Thursday through Sunday. And you want to get with this guy because the day after you left, he brought another girl into your guys' apartment. At the end of the day, I moved out because I wanted to marry him still. And I thought the space was going to be good for us to be able to grow as human beings and like him to mature a little bit. And like. Yeah, he brought some titties back to the place. I know. I mean, at least they weren't cute ones. Maybe. I don't know you're saying that. No, she was chopped. Jealous ex. I'm not jealous. It's a fact. It's a fact. Show me a picture. I'm blocked, but we can find her.

32:39He had her block me. You know her name? Yes, of course I know her name. Jealous ex. I was jealous, obviously, because there's a thing. I left wanting to marry him, and then he brought in titties before my shit was even out of the apartment. Yes, did they bang? Yeah, obviously they bang. You are, and you want to get back with this? Yes, because here's the thing. All the reasons why I left him were everything that he got from her. Basically, he got his own, like, shit hand back to him. The new girl works for Twin Peaks. Are they together now? No, they're broken up now. Except you guys just broke up again a week ago, so maybe she's back in the picture.

33:17Don't say that. Well, I mean, let's just be real. I know how men work. Yeah, but I don't want to think about that. I know how they work too. I mean, he brought a new in before my clothes were out of the closet. She had a toothbrush on our couch. I know. I'm sorry. I'm trying to watch my mouth. But she had a toothbrush in our apartment before my stuff was even out. Exactly. So when I got there and I moved all my stuff out. The day after she moved out, there's a toothbrush there? No. You bring a toothbrush for fun? Wait, what? What? I don't. I know. Wait, are you trying to say that she was there first before I left?

33:49What are you trying to say? Bringing a toothbrush over for an evening of fun? No, that's the point. It wasn't just an evening of fun. It got, they got, they were in a relationship. What, the day after you moved out? Yes. Like. Hold on. I moved my stuff out of the apartment. Wait a minute. I was standing in my new apartment. Is that not the biggest red flag you've ever heard in your life? and you want to get back with a guy that was likely cheating on you? Oh, I can't find her now. Oh, come on. No, I'm serious. A girl who works at Twin Peaks. Yeah, well, I know how to spell her name and everything.

34:20A girl who works at Twin Peaks had already moved in the day after you moved out. Yeah, and do you want to know the crazy part too? That is the crazy part, but sure. Well, so like him and I, like we got into some disagreements about the way that I used to dress because I used to dress a lot more provocatively before God. So, oh my God. Okay. Girl, that's his page. Who cares how you dress? Should I try and find her? Yes, I thought that's what you were doing. Well, I meant like still. I can't find her. So what was the crazy part? Yes, this is dressing. Well, the crazy part was that like. I mean, I want you to dress even more like Handmaid's Tale so we can cover that arm hair.

35:02Oh my God. I cannot believe you just said that. I'm Puerto Rican. We're hairy. And my dad's like Greek and German. And so I'm just hairy. You don't have to judge me. So anyway, I can't find her. Oh, that's not fun. You immediately went in there and put the girl's toothbrush in the toilet. Okay. Then he wrote cheater on the mirror. Yeah. Yeah, and I took everything. Can't find her? No, I can't. Show me him, this guy you want to get back with. I tried to. Well, I know, but I want to see her. I want to see her too. You don't know her name? I know her name. I'm typing in her name. Okay, okay, okay.

35:45Pull him up. Pull him up. Pull him up. Pull him up. Okay, that's him. I have a really cute picture of him and I together too. We look cute together. Bro, are you kidding me? Okay, see, but no, no, no, no. Can I show him? Can I show a picture? I have a better one. I know. Those are not cute. You know men can't post pictures on Instagram. So if they're like kind of cute on Instagram, then you know that they're a little bit cuter in real life. Okay, look for her. Oh, wait. I've never tried Facebook. Maybe I'm spelling it. Crazy jealous ex that writes cheating around the mirror. And he is a cheater.

36:16Why do you want to get back together with a cheater? We're going to call this guy. Because I told you. I was like, remember, like, so I was telling him, like, I need you to help me with the laundry. I need you to help me with the dishes. I need you to help me pay the bills. So when I left, those were mainly the reasons. Like, we just weren't agreeing on, like, being adults, basically. And so when I left, I thought it would give him a chance. When you two met, he already had a girlfriend. You want to go down this road again? You're trying to be all religious girl and whatnot? You're trying to go down a world with a guy that cheated on someone to be with you, who cheated on you to be with someone else, and you want to marry this man?

36:52Yeah. Oh, my God. I found her. You are delusional. I told you she's chopped. Show me. I told you she's chopped. Her mom posted that, I think. You know what she means? She was a mooch. You know what this Christian Texan means? I'm not a Texan. When she says, when she's, yes you are. I'm a Jersey girl. You know what this Christian white girl who lives in Texas means when she says she's chopped? Stop. It means she's black. No, that's wrong. I knew you were gonna say that. I'm not, no I'm not like that. I've chatted with a lot of dark colored men. This is actually my first white man. This was my first one.

37:33This is her? No, that's the mom. She's got the ex-girlfriend now. She's got messed up teeth. Yeah. So basically, she was a mooch, and she found my ex with a good job. You're calling the black woman a mooch. She was a mooch. She went in with a job that she barely ever went to. She would sleep all day, wake up and put makeup on, and then get dropped off at work. She had no car, no driver's license. She had a shitty job. Like, she just was a mooch. She could have been white. She could have been brown. She could have been yellow. I think the guy just wants a little seasoning, a little bit of flavor.

38:06Well, then why is he coming crawling back? Is he? Well, he was a couple weeks ago. Because he wanted to f*** you. Did you guys f*** two weeks ago? No. No? No. You promised me. Yeah. You swear to the big up there. Ah. Yeah. I mean. You do? You swear? Well, no, I don't swear. Well, I just don't swear on the big guy in general. Well, if it was true. Yeah. You guys didn't, no glucky glucky, no touchy touchy? I mean a little, but no glucky glucky. That's what he wanted. That's what he came back for. And then he left a week later, right? Well, no. Well, yeah, but no. But, I mean, so the thing is, when he was like, I think we should go no contact, it was because we were starting to see the same patterns and our communication happening again.

38:55In two weeks? The pattern in that communication is he wanted to go f*** another woman. For six months? They were together for like six months. That's a lot for him. Yeah, I know. He starts cheating. He's just here. You want to get back with this new shit? The guy you showed me before is so much more handsome. Yeah, but he didn't. The guy you showed me before we started filming? But he wasn't interested in me at all. Well, no. Oh, a guy doesn't like you? I don't give a f***. That's not a traditional crying thing on this show. F*** you. F*** you. Oh, shut up. Oh, okay. The guy you have a crush on at church doesn't like you?

39:31That's not what I'm crying about. I'm crying about my ex. Your ex that cheated on you. Who cheated on with another girl to be with you? I know, but I think it needed to happen. Oh, girl, you are broken. No, I'm not. I may be a little bit delusional, but I think like. A little bit? No, but. Show me a picture of the new guy. I don't have a new guy. You just showed me. No. The guy you're into. The one from church? Yes. No, I've given up on that a while ago. I literally put myself out there. What do you mean? How'd you put yourself out there? Okay, so we had met like once or twice. And so I had followed him on Instagram and he was private with like 200 and something thousand followers.

40:11He never accepted me. So I removed it. Then my friend, like a couple of weeks later, because we were still like seeing each other at church. My friend at church was like, I'm friends with him. Let's go introduce you. He's single, whatever. So they went and introduced me. And then like a little while after that, I was just going to kind of play it by ear and like not be too pushy about it. Can I have his phone number? No. And you're not in his Instagram? No, because he— You have no point of contact. No. I mean, I could DM him on TikTok, I think, because he's not private on TikTok. He will not see that.

40:47Yeah, well, exactly. So I can't even like slide into his DMs. And like this was a while ago and I tried to introduce myself and then we tested it out. What about Brandon? He's looking for a nice Christian girl. Yeah, she is. It's because you guys are the most like, hmm, hmm. And you're good looking and his home is Dallas. Ish. Really? Ish. Oh, but how does he work here then? Well, no, his home. Oh, here. This is me and my ex together. We're cute together. Sure, whatever. Look up the new guy. I don't care. So this new guy. So anyway, so then we tested it out to see if like maybe he just like wasn't seeing it.

41:27That's his page. And then so I was in Jersey and my family friend. She said he had 250 ,000 followers. Does he not have 200 and something thousand? He has 10 ,000 followers. Oh, on TikTok, he has 200 and something thousand. Oh, sorry. So the thing with that is that I tested it out with my friend back home. Oh, sorry. Bleep that. Brandon said he's down and that you're kind of It seems like you'd be fun at a Six Flags date. Oh, I love roller coasters. This is great. Okay, listen. Okay, so that's how you put... Wait, let me finish really quick the story about him. So we tested it out. So this is how I know he really...

42:07This episode is brought to you by Indeed. Stop waiting around for the perfect candidate. Instead, use Indeed-sponsored jobs to find the right people with the right skills fast. It's a simple way to make sure your listing is the first candidate C. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs have four times more applicants than non-sponsored jobs. So go build your dream team today with Indeed. Get a$75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. He is not into me at all. My friend who is married with kids, but she's a beautiful like bombshell blonde with fake boobs and fake lips and everything.

42:43No, she's... I hate that shit. I mean, she rocks it. She's gorgeous. No. I mean, I don't prefer it for myself either, but still. Anyway, so she followed him on, requested to follow him. He immediately accepted it and then followed her back and then was viewing her story. So then I followed him immediately after. Again, 24 hours went by and I wasn't accepted. Oh my gosh, it's women games. Okay. So I removed it again. Sorry, dude in church don't like it. He ain't sticking it in and giving you babies. Rip. Yeah. Keep going back to the cheater. You think that's the only alternative? Shut the fuck up.

43:10I don't think it's the only. So this makes no sense. I don't understand. you abandoning which fairly because you left the relationship and you didn't know he was cheating until you left. Yeah, because my friend He is cheating. My friend upstairs He is cheating. But technically God? No, no. Jesus. No. Patricia in the other room. Oh, okay. Yeah. She's upstairs? Did I say upstairs? I meant she's over there. You said upstairs. Oh, well, oh, oh, this is why I said upstairs. She lives right on top of my ex. So we're talking about the big G. Well, no, He's upstairs. Well, yeah, he is upstairs. But she's literally upstairs.

43:48So the apartment that my ex and I moved into, he's still there. I know her from her moving in with her ex a couple weeks after him and I moved in. So we were upstairs, downstairs neighbors. Because she's the one that told me he was cheating. And she's the one that called me and was like, the day that I got the keys to my new apartment, she called me and was like, oh, hey, I just want to let you know that he— Okay, okay, okay, okay. Just brought a new girl home. How you budget makes no sense to me. I need to get back to that. Okay, so. Oh, there's more? No, well, I have more bills, obviously. Okay, you have more bills, but this doesn't understand.

44:25This number shouldn't matter. Why? It's how much money I have to spend. That's already a bad way to look at it. Your bills do not change. Your bills in 50, 30, 20, or whatever it is you're doing at the time should only be based off of your lowest check relatively. But here, tell me, not even your check. Monthly, by the way, not even paycheck to paycheck. But okay, either way, since you do this, you should be able to tell me how much you spent last month. Tell me what your outflow was last month. I have no idea. But you write it down, and you have 30 whiteboards in your kitchen, I heard, of writing down your bills and stuff.

45:08So tell me, what did you spend? I'm going to say probably like, like if I, I really have no idea. Okay, let's say. You barely have no idea. Yeah, let's say like$4 ,000. Okay,$5 ,149 when payroll was$3 ,197. I pay my bills. My bills are paid. But that's the thing. The number, numbers in the end. It didn't. But where did the XC2000 come from? Debt. Debt. Debt. Debt! But I don't have It doesn't matter if you don't have much. If it still goes on there, it goes on there. You f***ing dumped it. The balance went up on the credit card. You dumb f***ed it. Okay? You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app.

45:57You start with the classic one, YNAB. But everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to EveryDollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rocket Money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end? Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data.

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47:08Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for Chime. Get that$350 right now in your checking account. Deal with this. Figure out your shit. I'm not saying you can't tie it. I get it. I'm not going to tell people to not do what their religion and what they need to do in their religion. I am not against that. Do it. Pause. Recoup it later. Fix your shit so you're not endlessly going into debt. If you were asking the big dog, if you went and asked the pastor and like, I'm going into debt because I can't afford this 10 % right now. What do you advise?

47:40I think they would say, figure out your debt situation, make it up later. Yeah. You fucking dumbass. Oh, I hate that word. You don't like the word? Oh my God. Now it makes my skin crawl. I don't give a. Call your ex. Okay. Well, so he works at, so he works at, can you bleep this? Can't he works at? So can I just text him and be like, can you call us when you get a chance. Oh, shit. Really? FaceTime or? No, I was lying. Yes, call him. Okay, he might not answer. Just call him. Okay, okay, okay. One.

48:22Oh, Caleb. Hello. Here's the thing. Oh, boy. Why? Why the f*** did you cheat on my precious Delilah over here? I didn't cheat on her. Bullshit. If the day she moved out, there was a toothbrush and another woman living there, no way you were not in active communication. That is impossible. No, no, no. She wasn't living there until like a month. But they were already f***ing. But you were already f***ing before her clothes were out. Oh, my God. I told them we weren't together. I'm trying to stand up for you, but it's Caleb. Why is this even being spoken about? Ask Caleb. Because, because, pause, she wants to get with you.

49:10And I'm like, why the f*** is she trying to get with someone who cheated on someone to be with her? I didn't cheat on her. That's what you're not understanding. It's a very complex situation. I understand input, but. Okay, well, make the complex situation less complex. That's, that's not something I'm going to put on the internet. Oh, great. Wait, what a defense. You also cheated on the girl previous of her to be with her. Oh, my Lord. He's never going to tell me that now. So, where is this conversation going? She wants to get back with you. I'm asking why the fuck she even wants that in the first place.

49:46But here's the thing. If you guys were together a couple weeks ago, we'll bleep your name, by the way. If you guys were together a couple weeks ago, and then you stopped being together, why the fuck are we playing this game of diddling? We were just taking some space to try and get ourselves on track. You were together for two weeks for a second, and then you broke up immediately. Well, yeah, because we weren't— I got a second job. I'm just trying to focus on myself. We were getting into arguments. It was a distraction, honestly. When she knows that, I know that. What are the arguments about? Kind of accountability and, I don't know, just boundaries that were set and spoken about that aren't respected.

50:23and I don't know, when things are brought up, it's not always handled the best. And I take accountability on raising my voice and whatnot. But if you're a partner, you should at least be able to speak honestly. That's how I think. And what is this thing with trying to make her wear more clothes? Oh my gosh. No, we just, we debated about like corsets and something. Sorry. I told them about your - Shut the fuck up.

50:55Oh, all right. So I'm sure you have your own stance on morality and clothing and women's clothing in today's day and age. So I'm sure I don't really need to go into too much detail. How much does she have to wear to be with you? I don't know. Something her grandmother and mother wouldn't frown down upon. I just think it's a respect. Do they? Like, I don't—well, she's saying no. There's some outfits that my mom and dad think are really cute that he had a problem with. What about at the beach? What do you allow at the beach? Well, I don't give a damn about the beach. That's the difference for you.

51:35But that's the most revealing. He does, though. So I used to wear, like, in college, I used to wear, like, thong bikinis. Now I wear a bikini that has shorts. Oh, so you make her wear the shorts at the beach? Well, he didn't necessarily make me. That's the thing. Yeah, like, we just fought about it. But at the end of the day, I like to learn that change. Do you think you're going to get back together with her? What kind of question is that? Do you want to get back together with her? Of course I do. And listen, you guys have some big disagreements.

52:09Like, worldview, like she doesn't hate gay people and you hate gay people. I wouldn't say I hate gay people. I hate when it's pushed towards me. This is crazy. I'm being outed as a homophobe and a quote-unquote cheater. But the girl you didn't cheat on her with was bi. Yeah, what does that have to do with that? I just told you I don't hate gay people. Well, she said that you don't really like gay people. I mean, like I just said, they're gay towards me. It's a little uncomfortable. And I try to make it clear that I'm not. And oftentimes it's still pushed on me. Like I got a DM the other day. Some guy was like, hey, you like, what would you do with the guy?

53:00I'm like, nothing, bro. Like I'm not really into that. Like, yeah, you are. You're just confused. So like, yeah, that type of shit, I don't enjoy. It makes me uncomfortable. Sounds like a closet bottom to me. Okay. So you haven't decided whether or not you want to get back with her? What? You haven't decided whether or not you'd want to get back with her? It's an ever-evolving thing. It's not that simple. Well, because we have to, like me. I'm asking him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like, at some point, we lived together, and, you know, we took steps away from that. So, obviously, it's just going to take time.

53:35Like, we came from a totally different state together, so. Yeah, but you guys literally were supposed to get engaged two days before you broke up. So, like, we were almost there. Oh, I'm well aware. Okay. I do have a bad news if you guys ever do get back together. I don't hear you. I do have some bad news if you ever consider getting back together.

53:59She's pretty much the most person I've ever talked to. That's so mean. But he likes me because I'm... Did you say, Mom, you didn't even say bye? I just wanted to leave him with that. What do you think? Am I stupid? Yes. He's a cheater. allegedly. But technically we weren't together. He was f***ing another the moment you moved out. What the f*** are you talking about? What do you think your financial score is 0-10, 0 being the absolute worst, 10 being the absolute best? I think I'm like a 4 or 5. You are so f***ing. You just heard how much money I told you you spent. Yeah, but I only have run credit card.

54:37You make no sense, man. You make no sense. It makes sense to me. It could also be overdrafts. It could also be extra stuff. Oh, it makes sense to you. That's good. That's wonderful. Miscellany's bullshit alone was$1 ,175. Or$1 ,157. Miscellany's bullshit. In a month? Bullshit. Going out there, it was like$400. Unknown shopping,$600. Other large purchases,$842. You're spending so much money. You're spending so much money that you don't have. What's your rent? Uh,$1 ,350. It's like half your income on a normal month. It's a really cute place. You are broken. Huh? It's a really cute apartment. That's literally, no one brought up that argument.

55:12I don't give a f***. I don't give a... No one gives a... Not a single person gives a... It is half your income when your income is... And you can't manage your shit to save your fucking life. But it's going... Maybe. You can't track it. You can't tell me the average. I'm going to be rich one day. You're going to be rich. Oh, rich dog groomer. We've all heard of them. Yeah, it's called opening a business. Oh, you're going to open a business? Been there, done that. You're going to open a business? Been there, done that. Been there, done that? How'd that go? How'd that go, successful business lady?

55:40Successful. I was on track in two years to make$100 ,000 a year. Where are you today? I don't give a... I was on track, never got there. But guys, at least I was on track. But I'm looking back to that because the... Opened that business in 2026. Tell me about that business then. It's a mobile dog grooming business. And how'd that go that you were on track? It went great. I opened it in 2023. Which is why you were only ever on track and never got there. I shut it... Okay. I was making$80 ,000 a year. I was on track to make more than that when I shut it down in 2025. Why? I shut it down to move here.

56:10What? Because I was gonna have no source of income at the beginning if I re-open the business Move where? To Texas! From Jersey? Yes! Why'd you - K-Pop Demon Hunter's Saja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really. Stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. I participate in McDonald's while supplies last.

56:49Move! Because I hate New Jersey. Why? Because it's just gross there. But you were making money! I don't care. I didn't want to build my future there. I didn't want to build my life there. Then why do you need to do this bullshit job where you make no money instead of replicating the success you had? Because to reopen my business, to be able to do that, I need to take out an$80 ,000 small business loan. To be able to pay for the$80 ,000 small business loan, I have to be making an extra... You already had the shit. Take it down here. Because I couldn't. Why? I had a trailer. My dad drove the trailer for me.

57:20I couldn't drive the trailer. Get a second trailer. What? It was like a$20 ,000 trailer. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. If you were making$80 ,000 a year, I think you could handle the investment of hiring someone to drive it down here. Well, yeah, well, yeah, but not while I'm... I wouldn't have been able to afford the driver while I'm working here. Once I got here. If you were making$80 ,000 up there, how could you not afford it? That doesn't make sense. Because the income was going to stop when I moved. No, it doesn't make sense. You were already making$80 ,000. You had to have had some money unless you were blowing it all.

57:53I have money saved, but that's at the down payment. That's for the down payment of restarting my business. But you wouldn't need to borrow if you brought it all down. Because I couldn't, though. That doesn't make sense. It makes sense. You're just yelling. No, it doesn't. It doesn't make sense. It does. Make it make sense. Okay, so I had this business, right? It was a trailer. My dad was driving it. I couldn't drive the trailer. So to move down here, I had to sell the trailer to like, you know, obviously, because I couldn't take it with me. No, see, the part that immediately doesn't make sense with theirs, you were making$80 ,000.

58:22So how did you not have enough money to move down here? No, I did. I had enough money to move down here. Ah, why'd you have to sell the trailer? Because I couldn't take it down here. So there was no place in me having it. Hire someone to do it. Yeah, but even once I got it here, it would never leave the driveway because I can't drive temporarily wrong what i'm not doing that no it just it was better for me to get a temporary job that i can get the income to be able girl what are you going to do with the 80 000 hour loan i'm gonna buy a van i'm gonna buy a grooming van convert it to the van move all the equipment into a van it takes 80 000 to move it into a van all that equipment so you already have the equipment they they need to buy the van they need i don't have any equipment i have my tools I have my tools Listen Listen I have to buy the van It's a Ram Sprinter Sprinter van Whatever right They go for like 20 ,000 won Like a cheap Crummy one right So I'm gonna get the van Then I'm gonna send it To a company in New Jersey And they're gonna Convert it But they have to put A battery system in the back New Jersey Yeah because I found A family company That's giving me A really good deal And they do Beautiful conversions None of them are in Texas There's grooming vans Everywhere girl I mean I can't buy one In Texas But like they're giving me A good price And I'm working on a budget You have a van across the country.

59:31It's like$2 ,000. No, I'm going to drive it. Oh, I don't trust you. I drove from here to Texas. Yeah, you're lucky you made it. I mean, from here to, from Jersey to Texas. I don't trust you. Well, I mean, that's you. You're not going to be in the van. You driving long distance. I drove all the way to Austin too. And you beat the odds. I'm a good driver. Just because I don't have a car that drives itself doesn't mean I'm not a good driver. That has nothing to do with it. I'm not See how excited you got about Six Flags? Yeah, because I haven't I have Six Flags! Brandon, take me on Six Flags! Oh my god Cancel me for that bitch So embarrassed

1:00:19Brandon, I'll let you do anything to me If you take me on the roller coaster Not anything Says every Christian girl Who then takes it up the literal ass That evening Do you know this song, Jesus Loves Anal? No. It's like, it goes like, I don't even know how it goes real, but it's like, me in the ass because I love Jesus. That's so terrible. You've never heard that? Keep tithing. That'll save you. I'm working on it. God doesn't want you to clean yourself up before you get to him. He helps you clean yourself up. So I'm working on things. That's a cope. Listen, if you want your Hammer Financial Score, get it for free.

1:01:04Calebhammer.com. Take the test. Just takes a few minutes. See where you stand in the world of money, where you're doing great, where you're doing poorly, what you need to do to improve. If you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, so you're not doing this because this is a disaster. But it works. No, it literally doesn't. You spent way more than you made. Download the DollarWise Budgeting app. It'll automate everything for you, give you incredible insights into what exactly is going on and what you need to fix. It is awesome. Take the free trial, dollarwise.com or just in the app store of your choice.

1:01:34Check out the free trial. Most people take the annual version because it saves almost 50%. And when you do the annual version, just like I signed this one, you will get my 30-day budget meal plan. It is an absolutely extensive, detailed meal plan for every single day with drinks and snacks, desserts, everything included. It is awesome. This is yours to take home. You have no excuses to not meal plan, meal prep on a budget. This is it. No excuses. and you can use H-E-B for it, which is what we base it on to. I've never been there before. You are... What? Oh, do you want that? I don't think I'm that stupid.

1:02:11You're how you just... I don't think I'm that stupid. Like, if you just sound like that, So I sound stupid. Oh, my God. Yes! Yes, you do! In fact, I would say, I would suggest yes. Maybe that's just your opinion. That's cool. And I stand on it. Quicksilver. Yeah. My only credit card. See, just even how you said, yeah. You are. And I love you for it. I don't hate you for what it's worth. Sometimes I hate people on the show. I don't hate you at all. You make me giggle. It feels like you don't. No, I'm just laughing at you. I kind of laugh at myself sometimes too. Does the other part of yourself know you are?

1:02:54No, I'm what? Laughing at myself? Oh. Okay. Okay,$2 ,097.31, which has gone up. Oh, yeah, it's way above that. What, it's above that? No, I meant it was up from the previous. Oh, oh, no. The limit's higher than what you have on that piece. Because that's what it says it's at, right? That number at the bottom? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's way higher than that. It's way higher than that. Open up on your phone, please.

1:03:29Texted me dead emojis. Dead face. That means you're dead to him. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. We bring truth to relationship, Christian. That feels judgmental. Okay, there you go. Being truthful? You should be. This is the credit card, but my car loan is underneath it. It is! And I just... Shut up! Well, I just... Shut up! Stop! Let me look! Can I just look? Yeah. Before you talk? Good death. This must be what it feels like to be on the other side of the table for me. It's horrible. Am I being that bad? Yes, shut up! Sorry. $2 ,664.94.

1:04:27Oh,

1:04:44it's for such... Are you a whore? Probably. Okay, that's okay. You are. Yeah. That's not a bad thing. No, but yeah. Oh, girl, you're not even on auto pay. No, no, but not really any reason why. I just don't, I don't know. I just didn't do it. But I go in and I pay the minimum every month. I paid$100 a couple days ago. The minimum right now is probably like$87 or something like that. Okay, I'll do$87. I don't know why the fuck I'm trusting you for anything. Well, you can check. Shut up. Plus Peacock TV. Yeah, that's the only streaming service. Well, in Amazon Prime. That's the streaming service you chose out of all of them?

1:05:25Yeah, and I knew you were going to hate on it, but it's good. They have really good shows on it. What, VeggieTales? No, like The Burbs. That was a really good short series. And New Girl and The Office and Parks and Recreation. Those are all my comfort shows. I turn them on when I go to sleep at night. Apple subscription? DoorDash? Yeah. Creature. Peacock again, what the f***? Peacock. IHOP! Oh, yeah, we went after church. Who? Because my friend from college, she came into town. Okay, okay, good. You give me, well, shit. But then you DoorDash immediately after. IHOP. The same day. Oh, yeah, I got Panera that night.

1:06:05And Twilight spelled very weird lounge. Very expensive, 60 bucks. We sat for a couple drinks. Jack in the box. Sat for a couple drinks, Christian. Well, I didn't get drunk. Drinking is still against the rules. I mean, it depends on... Depends on how much you want to cope? No, well, I guess, yeah. It depends on your interpretation. Exactly, and everyone has a convenient one. Same with the Muslim couple I had on the show, trust me. Oh, yeah, that was insane. Yeah, you were that same version on the other side. Oh. Well, okay, I'm just... Cowboys Red River. I guess you didn't find one to bounce on that night.

1:06:44Oh my God. I've never left there with a man. Never. I would suggest you should. Why? Stop going back to the cheater. Find yourself a nice guy. I tried that. I tried the church boy. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Lindsay says you go crazy for Jesus merch. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like my church, if they have like a set, I told her this the other day, like I don't care what's in my bank account. If the bills don't get paid, I'm taking it home. And they're expensive. Like, I have a set that's like— Can we get Tyler in here, please? Almost 200 bucks. Your favorite streamer every day on Twitch at 7 p.m. Central, Tyler.

1:07:23I just need you to say it for me. Say what? It. Oh, okay. What's up? My personal favorite song, you like the anal song. I like the—my favorite song is the one that's, Jesus Christ is my— Nigga. That one. You know that song? I have heard that song, yeah. That one's great. That's a great song. Okay, thank you, Tyler. I got you, I got you. Live on Twitch every day, 7 p.m. Real, what is it, Real Lindo? I am Lindo every day, 7 p.m. Central Time. You'll love him. That's great. Let's make sure to put his Twitch in the description for this episode. Okay, yes, I like that one. So yeah, you spend an insane amount of money on here.

1:08:06This is going to take now like 18 years to pay off minimum monthly payments only without doing any purchases. 18, yes. Yes, usually when people like you get pregnant and marry a military guy and then get divorced immediately. I'm not marrying a military guy. Yeah, but that's what people like you do. But you didn't, so. And I'm not a baby mama. Well, I mean, well, I have no, I have not had a baby myself. I have. Abortion? Starbucks is bullsh** and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well.

1:08:42Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10 % off your order at Gamer Subs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday.

1:09:19Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. Whoa, no, no, no. No, I did not do that. No, I did not. I've never done that before. I don't plan on that. I just like - You're just giving very weird signals right now. Oh, well, because I don't have, like, a human kid. With the baby that I met in the green room? Yeah, I mean, I have her. Oh, where is he? Where is he? She is very cute. Here, audience, I met her. Yeah, she's very cute. We do have a child in the studio today. And she's a beautiful girl. And this honestly makes sense because most people that I know that are just, like, only reptile owners are the most people.

1:10:03people like they're actually they got like brain mush. They're like look at my web tile. I never actually thought I would be a web tile owner. And then they accidentally kill it by like smashing it or something. Oh my God I would never do that. I know my friend. My girl. My sweet princess. Her name is Santana. Hello Santana. My sweet girl. Okay you can hang out. So this will take 18 years to pay off which is. And that's if you only do minimum monthly payments only without any purchases of what you are incapable of. Because you are going out to eat at least every other day at minimum. Every other day.

1:10:44At minimum. Yeah. Sorry for yelling, princess. I'm loud a lot, so she's good. You can yell as much as you want. Yeah, but she at least knows it's coming from like noises when you yell. Oh.

1:10:58I don't yell like that.

1:11:06She just She's starting to shed Yeah She's starting to shed Her tail starts first Sweet girl They're so good My kids will meet her They live for like 20 years She's like three or four right now And who are you having kids with? Hopefully somebody Hopefully a man Can it Hopefully Who's my husband? I highly doubt you except women. Oh, no. Oh, sorry. I love women. I think they're beautiful. I don't swing that way. So I think that you are going to pathetically go back to the cheater, unfortunately. Yeah. Who is a fan of the show, allegedly. He put me on to it. You don't seem to be the best at relationships and staying loyal to a woman.

1:11:56But again, that is 18 years if you do not purchase. So you are incapable of not purchasing. Yeah. So this will be longer than 18 years. Well, but here's the thing is I'm hoping, not hoping, I'm working on making my income go up. Oh, shut the f*** up. This isn't an income issue. Yeah, it is. No, no, no, no, no, no. Girl, you just spent literally hundreds of dollars going out to eat. But when I was making$10 ,000 a month, I was able to pay my credit card off monthly. You can leave her. She probably won't move now. No, I'm getting her off the paper. Oh, sorry. Sorry. And then on here, it's a more DoorDash from a different month than CVS and Amazon.

1:12:28Pull up your Amazon. Interest accruing. Surprisingly no late payments on there. See, I'm good at it. She has crickets, right? Not so much anymore. As they get older, they become more herbivore. Really? She's just eating plants? Not only, but mainly, yeah. What does she eat? Well, so sometimes I have like a freeze-dried thing, and I'll give her, it's freeze-dried mealworms, crickets, and grasshoppers. Are you sure she actually likes this? How would we know? So when she's just like not happy, she like is usually attempting to run away. But then also like this part of her belly gets black. I feel like there's in between happy and not happy.

1:13:07How do we know she actively enjoys it? Because I want to pet her if she likes it. No, and she does like it. So this is what I'm trying to tell you. So this part of her chin right here, like she's showing you. She is positioning it. This part would turn black. If she didn't? As she starts to get agitated. Well, it is right there. Well, no, but that's why I'm saying the whole bottom of her chin would turn this color black if she was agitated. And it's different levels of it. So when she's like— So what, she eats crickets and plants now? Yeah, mainly plants. She loves zucchini. There's the autistic section.

1:13:36She loves carrots to make her poop stink. Yeah, that's why I couldn't have these kind of creatures. I love them, but I just don't—the whole cage maintenance. Last three months, or do you want— Yeah, last three months, do you want— Yes, just give me your f***ing Amazon. Sorry. You scared her. Well, that's her problem for being an animal on this show. I know, honey. I love her, but I do got shit to do. Tanning cream. Yeah, I see it. Okay. You have a bunny cage? No, tanning cream. No, that was my face wash. You have a... It's a skincare line. You have a bunny cage? No, I bought it for her. Just licked you.

1:14:15Yeah, that's how she explores. Okay. So that little cage thing. Brandon will let you explore him like that later.

1:14:28So I bought that little thing for her. So when I take her out on my patio. I don't care. I don't have to worry about her running off the edge. A box of variety snacks. That was Dylan. There's so much present. I bought him a present. My ex. I sent him a present. Oh, for f***'s sake. You don't have money. Dishwasher safe chopsticks. You just don't need chopsticks, though. This is the thing. You don't need that to survive. Soothing cream. F***ing soothing cream. That's skincare still. Stop. I don't care. Shape shelves. You don't f***ing need it. Clothes that I guarantee you don't need because you probably already have shit.

1:15:01Yoga mats, multiple. Well, one's a towel. A ball pillow. You don't need a ball pillow. I treated myself. The f***ing outfit of a dominatrix whore. Oh my gosh, it's getting returned. You decided not to be a dominatrix whore any longer? No, the shorts were too big. It was like a Western thing, not a dominatrix sign. Whore. Well, at least it's getting returned Yeah, you could use a little bit of whoring in your life Because you're about to go back to a cheater Which is insane Which is, like, why the f*** is that acceptable? That owed a pair is$35 ,000 For f***ing what? That is insane That is disgusting, that is unacceptable, why?

1:15:36At 22, what the f*** is wrong with you? They helped me open my business And pay for school They laid out the money If you were making$80 ,000 a year, you animal Why was this not paid off? You selfish beast Yeah. Well, yeah. What a response. I was paying like$500 a month when I was working. Remember when you said he runs away if he's not happy? He's trying to run away. Well, he's probably trying to explore the table because he was like. So what is it? Run away or explore? Well, when she's got her tongue out, it's exploring. But if she's black and she licked me, remember? Yeah, like five minutes.

1:16:11But well, she did it again after you said that. Why did you not pay them back? You pathetic creature. I've made payments on it, and I paid them$5 ,000 out of the number that I got from selling the business. $500? $5 ,000. Did I say$500? You sold the business? Yes, I sold the trailer. The business itself, like the clientele, didn't get sold. Why? Because I wasn't able to take it. In my logical mind, I couldn't take the trailer. Oh, you do not have a logical mind. She's more intelligent than you. How much did you sell the trailer for? That would cost$80 ,000 to build out, allegedly. I don't really remember.

1:16:51I think it was like— Girl, this was a couple years ago. Shut the f*** up. Tell me how much you sold it for. Well, I think it was like$20 ,000, but I'm not really sure. $20 ,000? Yeah, but it might— And you gave your parents$5 ,000? Well, so I think it was less than$20 ,000 because I don't think we made our money fully bad. Oh, you're disgusting. So I thought I had paid some debt offer. I'm calling your dad in the post show. Oh. I'm calling your dad in the post show. I'm going to tell him what you're spending is like today and how you're f***ing your finances today. instead of paying them back because it is disgusting and selfish.

1:17:18Well, I know. You haven't made a payment to them since you moved to Texas. When did you? Spring Black Friday is on at the Home Depot. Save on grills and patio sets that will be sure to bring your hosting game up a notch. Fire up your fees with help from the Home Depot and save on grills. Like the next grill four burner propane gas grill was$249. Now in special buy for$199. Or give everyone the best seat in the yard with the Hampton Bay Mayfield Park four-piece conversation set for only$399. Save on grills and patio sets with low prices guaranteed during Spring Black Friday only at the Home Depot.

1:17:46Now through April 22nd, while supplies last. Exclusion supplies to Home Depot dot com slash price match for details. You moved to Texas? Last June. And why'd you pick Dallas? Um, well, because I just, I don't know. I've never been to Texas before I moved. But why'd you pick Dallas? There's a lot of black people there. You hate them. I don't hate black people. You say they're chopped. She's chopped. Again, she could have been white. She could have been anything. She was still chopped. Her skin color doesn't matter. There are very beautiful African-American women in the world. Okay. She was not one of them.

1:18:19So cope. Ooh.

1:18:23I mean, again, she could have been white. She could have been anything. If you're ugly, that's a fact. So you're not on a minimum monthly payment to your parents, obviously. Not anymore, no. I was paying my— Yeah, because you moved here and decided you wanted to have fun again. No, well— Yes, that's what you do. That's where all your money goes. Yeah, because I was trying to make my quality— I felt like my quality of life should be better. See? No, she won't bite you So this is what she does when she wants to like explore But if she was running away, distressed, not liking the exploration Her whole belly, like her whole underneath would be black Does that make sense?

1:18:57Yes, I'm not f***ing like you Well, you're not responding But I'm listening, sometimes it's okay to just listen But then how do you know if someone hurt you? Okay, there's something in here It was a car loan I saw. Yeah. Where is that? It's connected to Capital One, but it's probably over. I don't see it. Well, here it is. Oh, you don't have it. Oh. Oh, I guess it came after. I mean, we can look at your check-in account first. Okay, what do I see here? Zero dollars. Right. The exact same amount of money that went in went out because you just transferred. Yeah. Oh, are you kidding me? So all that money we saw spending on the credit card.

1:19:35When I said she eats out every other day, that's not true. She then eats at the same amount in here. Cowboys Red River. Escapade. Escapade. Uber Trip. Cow Town Coliseum. Cow Town Coliseum. Cow Town Coliseum. We went to the rodeo. We? Shut the f*** up. We? I don't give a s***. Stop. Shut the f*** up. Uber Trip. Walmart. Is selling out money. Cash app. Sending out. Who are you sending cash app money to? Who are you sending cash app money to? I got scammed through Bitcoin. And you don't think you're getting scammed with the African child? No. No, no, no. It's a very reliable website. Longhorn Ice House.

1:20:14I think I almost went there, but I didn't. I deleted it. Okay. Walmart going inside getting some bullshit. Do I take a screenshot? Crumble, TJ Maxx. What are you going inside the gas station getting$4.32? Probably a snack. What do you get? Like a Twix bar or something. Because I don't do energy drinks. That's okay. That's fine. Or coffee. Well, you don't need to do better. I know. I tried the Gamer Subs. It's amazing. But this isn't energy drink. This is the hydration version. So this is electrolytes. Oh. No energy. This is caffeine-free. So here you go. Because there are caffeine-free versions for the electrolyte versions of the drinks.

1:20:54Get your free samples to figure out what flavor you like. Type in and go to Caleb at gamersubs.gg. Link in the description below. Not a scam. And then figure out what flavor you like and it's 40 cents a serving. Are the cans the same prices? Are they still serving size? No, but if you get them like that where you make it yourself, that's where it's cheaper. That's what I thought. We're the Hartford, with decades of experience insuring millions of unique small businesses. When it comes to your small business insurance... Thank you. One size absolutely does not fit all. Get a quote or find an agent today at thehartford.com slash smallbusiness.

1:21:29TJ Maxx getting some bullshit. Sheen. That's doing a lot of heavy lifting. Amazon, bullshit, bullshit. Amazon Prime. Ben Moving Out Money. Benihana. In-N-Out. Fashion Nova. Apple Cash. Rock 'em. Zelling Out Money. Chipotle. Bullshit. Reservoir. Bullshit. Sam is Forrest. Cash App again. Texas Nail Bar. Not worth it. Auto statement. Okay, what's your car? Um, about$300. It's like$289. What is your car, you moron? Oh, I thought you meant the car. What kind of car do you have, you freaking freak? It's a 2018 Audi A4. What are you doing with that? Driving it. Isn't that a nice car? Yeah, it is. It's worth$9 ,500.

1:22:22Yeah. You owe$13 ,831.45. I knew I was underwater, yeah. Minimum monthly payment,$295.72. It's because it has really high mileage. What's the interest rate? A mileage, a nine point something. Oh, that's not good. What's the mileage? Over a hundred thousand miles. Whoa! Why'd you buy this? After you totaled that last car. It was the cheapest car on the lot that I could find. Go to a different lot, you dumb. Weren't you in Dallas? Yeah, well, so my friend - You know what places have a lot of lots? Texas cities. There are car dealerships every five minutes. I know. So here's the thing though. Go to a different lot, you freak.

1:22:56I ended up getting a really good deal on this car. No, it's at a 9 % interest rate of death. And I'm underwater. And you are underwater. You did not get a good deal. It's at 100 ,000 miles. I know, but they cut like a couple thousand off of the price. Girl, from their price, not the real price. They gave it to me for what they owned the car for. My friend works there. Oh my goodness. She helped me get the deal. I can't break through. I can't break through. There's no breaking through. Girl, you're lost. Good luck in the rest of life. I'm going to do great. No, you're not. Yeah, get back with the cheater.

1:23:29Get back with the cheater. Wait till I come back on the follow-up episode. He's going to knock you up. He's going to knock you up. He's not. He's not. How do you know? Because. You want birth control? No. And I probably never will be. There's other forms of birth control. What? Abstinence. Oh, f***. Oh, they're f***. Oh, they're so f***. She's going to come back with 10 children. Oh, no. But hopefully a wedding ring if I come back with 10. Yeah, with a cheater. Pathetic. Okay, 4.5 % interest rate for some loan that is$12 ,206.09. That's school, college. I went to Iowa State for like two years.

1:24:06Of course you did, okay. I wanted to be a veterinarian. You belong in the corn, and I'm glad you're not, because I want my animals to stay alive when there's issues happening. I'm good with animals. You're good at being nice to them. That's really all you have to do to them. What's darker? His scales or her arm hair? Oh my gosh. I should have worn long sleeves. Holy shit. You have arm hair too, all right? Yes, I do. A man. That's weird. Well, whatever. Usually trad wives just don't have arm hair, and I know you want to be a trad wife. So do you want me to start shaving my arms and make it worse?

1:24:41You're not going to be my trad wife. Sounds like you don't want a trad wife. Yeah, do you know how expensive that is? Yeah, you better go get a man that doesn't cheat on you. That makes good money. I'm going to reopen my business and just make it. Yeah, after you borrow$80 ,000. Remember, that's how the story ends. I have to. She borrows$80 ,000. Those vans are worth$150 ,000. She's going to quadruple her debt. I have to quadruple my debt. Minimum monthly payment,$91.55. Okay, here's the mojila. Yeah. Okay. Them together is$4 ,430.07. Minimum monthly payment,$54.68. Okay, that's not horrendous.

1:25:21I'm sure it's low rates. Yeah, well, I don't know the rates, but I know the payment isn't that bad. Abstinence only? Well, no. I mean, obviously, there's, like, more if you're going to. What? Well, condoms. Okay, did you guys always wear condoms? No, not when we were active.

1:25:43Yes, you are going to get pregnant. She likes you, I think. It's because I'm making lots of noises, huh? You want to lick me? Yes, you do. Hello. Do I taste good? I'm sorry, your mother is... Okay. Oh, or she might... She might shit. Okay, we'll put her away then. Yeah, okay. Sometimes she gets like really active when she has to poop because she doesn't want to poop where she hangs out. $2 ,099 in this account down from$2 ,300. Annual sharpening? Yeah, because I need to get my scissors sharpened for work and like my blades and stuff. Okay. But that came out of my business account. Oh, good. She has a business account.

1:26:28Well, yeah, I have a whole LLC. Robinhood,$6 ,000. In what? I don't know. Pull up your Robinhood. It almost got scammed.

1:26:42Poor trad guy that ends up with you. Actually, no, a lot of trad guys are wrong. I'm great. I'm a good cook. I clean. You want to be actual super trad. Yeah. You just want to cook and clean. and like take it. And pop out babies. Yeah. Yeah. And like I want to have my business up and running so it's self-sufficient. Isn't this what you want, Brandon? So when I like, when I go, when I do get pregnant, my business is fully self-sufficient and I just bring in income. Yeah, you're ruining it with your business thing. I'm just delaying it. Okay. She just has it all in J.P. Morgan stock. Oh yeah. Cause I didn't know what else to put it in and I felt like I used Chase as a bank.

1:27:17So J.P. Morgan, Chase Fink, right? Oh, me, man. Is that wrong? What do you think I should do with it? And here's a CD of$10 ,000. That's also just stupid. I don't really see the point. That's all my small business startup. So that's that total, like,$18 ,000. Give it to your parents then. You owe them. No, because then I want to be able to open my business again. And I want to do that in the year, in this year, in 2026. And borrow$80 ,000? I can't borrow$80 ,000 without some sort of down payment. Chat, we are so f***ing cooked. This account down from$1 ,000 to$75 ,000. No, you're not. And that's your transfers.

1:27:52You'll see. I'm going to prove it to you. Okay, please do. But usually in order to do that, it means you have to do the bad thing in order to do it. What bad thing? Borrow the money. Well, yeah. This time not from someone as forgiving as your parents. Well, yeah, I'm going to borrow it from a real bank. Yeah, that's bad. Oh, well. Because your parents are letting you not pay the minimum right now. Well, yeah. Because they're flexible. Yeah. Because life happened. Yeah, because I'm not making enough money yet.

1:28:20$3 ,000. It's an income issue. Shut the f*** up. Oh, yeah. She's got to poop. Let her drop those dumps, then. I have no problem with it. Okay. Minimum monthly debt payments,$528.95. What is your rent? I have$1 ,350. And all utilities combined plus internet? Um, uh,$200. Okay. Because I pay$50. Yeah, because I pay like$50, between$40 and$50 for utilities through the apartment complex. And then I pay about$52 for internet. And then I pay between$120 to$160 for electric. But I think I'm getting screwed over by my electric company. Oh, you're probably regardless. $220. Okay, phone bill and car insurance combined you give to your dad.

1:29:12How much is that again? $225. Okay. Gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive. How much? $75 every two weeks. So is that$150 a month? How much? About$75. A month? Every two weeks. So like, okay, so let's say like$150,$160 a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Okay. Necessary food,$300. Use the meal plan. Make sure you get it by signing up for the annual version of DollarWise. Yes. I actually spend$50 a week on groceries. Okay,$300. You go out to eat every day. That's how the math works. $100 for everything else you need, including your morning after pills that are definitely going to be needed. Oh, my gosh.

1:29:57Medical health care, how much on a copay basis? Why not? I think my copay is only$15, but I'm on my parents' health insurance and everything. Hmm? I'm on my parents' health insurance. So just about$50 a month? 15 for a copay. Like if I go to the doctor, they'll - How often do you go? What about medications and shit? I pay 20 bucks every three months for medications. Okay, I'll just, you just put it in then. I'm just going to put five bucks. Is there a gym? Yes. How much? Like 30 bucks. Good. How much for pet food, pet care, all that stuff for him? Super, oh, shashy shit. Just how much? I don't really spend a lot.

1:30:35Probably 20 bucks a month. Is it stinky? No, but I just looked down and she said, well, I might be Frankie. Proud of her. Anything else that needs to be in the budget?

1:30:49Well, not necessity, I don't think. Stop freaking out about the animal. Oh, subscriptions, I'll put 40. Why? She pooped. Isn't that what the cage is for? Well, yeah, but it's her travel cage, so I don't want her to, like, sit in it. You didn't think she was going to poop in your three-hour drive down, three-hour drive up, and three hours here? She didn't shit on her 24-hour drive from Jersey to Texas. Oh, you've been feeding her. Well, you're basically break even. Listen, it's$2 ,918.95 and I'm sure we're missing some shit and you make$3 ,000 a month. So here's the reality. You are not going to be able to pay off your debt, especially with your mindset.

1:31:19You're going to go into more debt in order to open this business and good luck on all that shit. But it's proven to be successful. You're not going to pay in a different place with the generosity and flexibility of your parents. Now you're going to have a minimum payment of this loan that is going to be tied to something most likely. Good luck. But either way, it doesn't matter. Here's the reality. Go make an extra$1 ,000 a month by working another job or by working more hours there, getting more clients, posting social media more if that's what you need to do. And when you do that, you will be able to pay off your bad debt in less, well, actually, okay.

1:31:53You'll be able to pay off your Quicksilver card in a couple months and then honestly just use the, it used to be called the Fizz card, now it is the mine card. Use that debit card that builds credit only allows you to spend on your checking account. Stop using the Quicksilver. I'll get you an accounting certification from Course Careers that'll help you run your business. And I want you to see if you can start small instead of borrowing so much. Get rid of debt before you go into this thing because you're just going to accumulate so much risk and it makes no sense. Can I ask you a question about that though?

1:32:23Yes. So I know you're not in support of this small business loan, but so to get the small business loan, I need to have a certain number of lines of credit open. So I was under the impression - I'm not saying close any. Well, but if I pay it off. It's a line of credit still. Even if it's a zero? Just put your gas on it, dude. You'll be fine. But that's only one line of credit is the credit card. Aren't the car loans and those, aren't those technically lines of credit? I don't think you're going to pay off your car loan before you even touch it. But even still, it doesn't matter. Sorry, I just don't mind.

1:32:50She was getting close to your foot. Sorry. Oh, she's out and about. I didn't know that. I almost crushed her. Listen, I don't know. I honestly don't believe anything good is going to happen here. So whatever. but listen, you just have to go make more money and then you can pay off debt. I would just do smalls, larges, so it's paid off minimum payments and student loans until it's done. Same with the parents. And you just got to treat them with respect before you get more debt. And I think this business thing is stupid, but whatever. Guys, I'm going to do the Hammer Financial Score, but first, make sure you join us for the post show.

1:33:19It's going to be good. I'm going to call her dad and confront her. And also, Delilah went to jail. Oh my God. What the f***? We will learn about that. What the f***? Okay. What the f***? Okay. spending money in a budget you overspent zero out of ten debt no collections your parent debt that's not great it's gonna be a two out of ten emergency fund nothing really a CD it kind of works ah I'll give you a five out of ten there retirement 22 you're not expected to have too much at this point I don't have anything shut the f*** up shut the f*** up and the chase thing is a decent start I'll give you a two out of ten out of just being generous real estate zero out of ten you need to learn to shut the f*** up like a good trad wife yes sir you don't have to call me sir I'm not looking for Trent I don't give a fuck about that shit that's not me Brandon would like it I like a woman who can speak out gives me an excuse to hit her that's a 2 out of 10 did I not just speak out I feel like I'm hittable like by the way that I speak I was making a joke oh guys we have a lot to talk about in this post show make sure you join Hammerly it's incredible best membership on YouTube and premium shows every single day Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Friday, Saturday see you there call your dad right now right now Hey, I want to talk to you about this debt that your daughter owes you of$35 ,000.

1:34:37Yeah, yeah. When can I get paid? That feels like a betrayal to me, honestly. How do I go about getting my money back? Because that's my retirement. Zelle, Venmo, cash. Talk about being taken advantage of, right? Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform. And I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise.

1:35:30professional measure now during the Blinds.com Spring Black Friday sale. Rules and restrictions apply.