Scumbag Admits To Beating His Wife | Financial Audit

24:37Uh-huh. Yeah, I don't have a picture of her. 18's legal, but you're not 25 anymore. So it's like, you know. The last 18-year-old I was with was my ex-wife, so we're good. Not her last name. What did she look like? Just I'm sussing you out right now. Shorter, blonde, kind of. Go on. Not like 13-year-old short, but, you know. Not suggesting. I did not indicate You're implying I am not I just wanted to see What you're going for Not that No I don't care I don't care what two Legal consenting adults do I don't give a This isn't TikTok or Twitter Where we over sensationalize everything I'm just trying to see I'm really trying to look No saved photos No You guys never met No We were getting ready to That weekend Oh And it was like the Wednesday before I was like hey how's it only that's it the most recent um i i was with somebody for like a month um before like actual relationship and uh she was she was something else but and she was a 20s early 20s so you know staying within that legal range or okay range what do you have to def why do you have to define it because the way you're still i don't know just you know i actually would like to say I didn't suggest anything about going too young.

26:06That was you. You're implying it. You're implying it heavily. But regardless, I kind of was wondering if you'd buy me the Eiffel Tower. You. Because my insider. You, you want an Eiffel Tower 13-year-old? I don't want to. I don't. You can be the other leg of the tower, Caleb. Like, come on. I got$140 of insider credit. All right. So if you just give me a 500, I could get the Eiffel Tower and get this going. you get a light set for like$100 for it I'm sure show me your light set your special little light set we'll put it in video stream record just send us the picture we'll put it up that I have because I've put that into a I've put in an album just for you oh here that's not Lego that's a off brand I thought we were doing Lego yeah well here's Lego here's Lego with a light set Okay, it's Notre Dame, I think.

27:05Notre Dame, sorry. Yeah. It has lights inside of it. And here's a Japanese castle with some lights on it, too. Yeah, it looks like it just got nuked. That's about right. And here's some plants. A lot of the plant Legos I have, my mom usually gets me because we'll go to, like, Walmart. Is this why you go for young? Because you're mentally there. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, my gosh, dude. You didn't have to say that. And here's, you know, Taj Mahal. I can smell it from here. Endurance. I don't know what that is. Okay, yay, you showed me your collection. It's a boat. I'm really proud of you. And there's the Titanic.

27:45The four foot long. There it is. Like 10 ,000 pieces. How much debt do you have, not including your house? Because somehow you have been able to scrounge together owning a home. Other than that, how much do you have? I think it's around 67 ,000. 68 Looking about 73 What the fuck is going on? Why would you continue Lego-ing? Well So a majority of that Is from actually a roof repair On my house And also I got a truck The truck isn't even half of that dude No Come on So I got the truck When my car was going through My truck I had a Dodge Journey, and it was having some transmission issues. And so I was like, well, I'll just get a truck.

28:35Oh, just get a truck. It solves all the problems. Well, I took it in to get looked at to see if it could be fixed, and they quoted me like$7 ,000 to fix it or$300 in credit towards another vehicle. And I was like, I basically said, f*** that. I'd rather just get it fixed myself, in which I did. Did you? Yes. Then what the f***? What are you saying? Well, so I wanted a truck regardless. And basically I spent like a thousand bucks to get my car fixed. Like I bought a transmission off of eBay Motors and got put in for like$500. And it's been running me good for about a year now. But yeah. Uh-huh.

29:18I kind of wanted a truck because I'd like to start. Really excited about this truck. Well, I'd like to start working on cars outside of my actual job. Okay. But I'm being told you already have a dream car from your grandpa. So why the f*** are we obsessing with this truck that you probably cannot afford in any way whatsoever? Well, first, I used the truck to bring the car to Illinois because when my grandpa passed away, he left me basically a hot rod project. What's the car, this dream car? It's a rat rod That's what the car is called? No What's the car? It's literally just a frame and then body panels And I still need to put it together Is it drivable?

30:10So it's not drivable So you're not pulling up to schools with it currently Not in that waiting lane yet Good Thank goodness Okay so you need a car Why don't we fix that I don't know it's sentimental Okay this is difficult He died and when he was currently In the stages of dying he said he hoped He could see it completed before he died Mission failed Yeah it's kind of hard When he I got the car one week And next week he's dead And I literally called him the day before he died Was that his Holcrux? I don't know It's like as soon as he got in Illinois he's gone But I had called him the day before And then when I looked at his Facebook profile, because I was looking at the pictures.

30:56That's how you found out he died? So it's f***ed up because I looked at his Facebook and I was unfriended. And I'm like, what's going on? I'm so sorry. And the way I found out he died was somebody said RIP Larry on his profile. And I was like, what the f***? It's not funny that you lost your grandpa, but that is such a ridiculous thing. It's f***ed up because I messed up. I messaged his girlfriend at the time and was like, hey, he was on the prowl as well. Want to know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an only f***. You're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going.

31:36If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck. That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use DollarWise. It shows you exactly where your money is going every single month. Spending, subscriptions, and savings all in one simple dashboard. work everything you need and nothing you don't and when you download dollar wise today you'll get this to try for free plus three months for just 9.99 so you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back click below to get started she she was within uh his age range so he's good what's his age range when you get up there uh about 50 i think but uh The years difference?

32:12Yep. Okay. But he, so I texted her like, hey, what's going on with Grandpa? He's unfriended me. And I didn't even get a message back for like three days. And then I finally found out he passed away. I'm like. That's very, I'm sorry. That's really hard. That's really hard. Yeah, I'm sorry for your loss. And I haven't even really done. And I get the car sentimental with it. I don't want to f*** with that. I agree. but I would love you to be able to hopefully drive it and maybe get rid of a truck that we can't afford. Well, I would like to keep the truck long-term because I got the warranty on it.

32:51Oh, my. Come on, car fix guy. You can fix cars. Well, the engine completely shit out, and I didn't at that point have a way to repair it, and that's why I got the. Wait, on which car? The truck. The truck. The engine already shit itself. Yep. The truck that we owe on? So my big Ram 1500, the Hemi shit out on it, which was common because it doesn't get enough oil pressure to the top of the engine. I thought we specifically bought this truck because the transmission got fucked in another car. Yeah. And, well, so are you trying to, like, make this into a business repairing things? I would like to at some point.

33:31And I've already, when my truck. Oh, I'm being told you want to open it with your mom? Well, no. So my mom, she went to school to work on motorcycles. And I was like, and I told her, like, instead of working in a factory, she would actually do what she enjoys and, like, actually use the— Oh, it's a mother. You seem like you've been coddled by mother. I wish. But she's, like, in her 50s. You seem like someone that would still be sucking the tit. I mean, I love my mom. I mean, I don't know. Okay. Her tits are a little saggy, but, you know. Okay. Do not start a business with saggy titty mother, please.

34:09No, I wasn't planning on it. I just wanted to help her. Why did you tell Colton that? Because I have the note from that. Well, because... Or she wants to. Right now, she's working at a factory, and she's not... She has a degree from Phoenix, Arizona for MIT or UTI. I don't know the exact name for it. What the hell are you even saying? I don't know the exact name for it, but it's like the Mechanical Institute. and she went to Phoenix specifically to get the degree and she's not using it and I told her I'd help her get it, I wanted to help her to pursue that This next one's for all you CarMax shoppers who just want to buy a car your way Wanna check some cars out in person Uh huh Wanna look some more from your house Okay Wanna pretend you know about engines Nah, I'll just chat with CarMax online instead.

35:04Wanna get pre-qualified from your couch? Woo! Wanna get that car? Hey, that's a beat. You wanna do it your way? Wanna drive? CarMax. What the f***? What are half the things you're saying? What even is this right now? Mostly f***ing, but you know. I agree. What do you think your financial score is? Zero to ten, zero being the worst, ten being the best. I took the score and I think it gave me like one. Okay. And do you want to take the score by taking the quiz? See where you're doing well. See where you're failing, where you need to improve. It just takes a few minutes and it is free at Calebhammer.com and you'll get your very own Hammer financial score.

35:44Remember, if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on this show, sign up for the Dollar Wise budgeting app. It is my preferred budgeting app. It is where all guests use. It is what thousands of people sign up for on a daily basis. And if you want to save a lot of money, sign up for the annual version. And when you do, I will sign my budget-friendly cookbook and mail it directly to your door. Learn more at DollarWise.com or click those links below. Let's jump into these documents. What a start. Navy Federal. It's for vets. Well, or at least you got to know. Vetter be related to wanting some kind of way to get in, right?

36:18And they love you because you have a literal$20 ,000,$53.99 balance. What the f***? Possibly. Is this Lego? Is this f***ing Titanic? What is this? It's Pokemon cards and the cash advances, basically. For the Pokemons? And for the Legos? The cash advances for the toys? For the toy -

36:52What the f***? That is insane. in what world possibly is this considered reasonable in any way hey by the way how long does this take to pay off if you do not purchase on it and you only put your minimums towards it which you do i think uh about like 40 or 50 31 but that's still crazy that is crazy you'll be nearing retirement age i know and that's kind of part of the reason where i was like I started seeing your show and I was like, I really need to get my shit together. That's great. Because when I. So you wanted to get your shit together when you started watching the show. So you would do good things because we had, you know, a bit of money coming last month.

37:37That NCVA hit, but 4 ,778 hit from payroll. What was the outflow? What was the outflow? Because you're learning, because you're doing things, you're getting your shit together. What was the outflow? I actually have rocket money and I think it's only seven. Close. $6 ,778.59. That was your offload. So that's getting our shit together. That's I'm getting better. That's I've seen the show and I'm turning it around. What the fuck are you talking about? You never. Did you listen with the volume off? What were you doing? Well, it's even crazy. Did you turn on the show, go into the other room, and just sit there and goon?

38:10It's even crazier because I didn't even process the idea that minimum payment would last like 30 years until I saw your show. and I was like, okay, so I'm and then you did nothing. Listen, I know when you see the number 30, you're like, ew, that's disgustingly ancient. That doesn't mean you can't start making progress towards it. You didn't do anything. You didn't do anything. I'd rather just play with Legos, man. I'm sorry that it's not a freshly 18 number. Hey, those Legos are at least for 18 year olds. All right. At minimum.

38:53So us getting our shit together is nothing. Again, you spent more than you made. So you found the show. Oh, I need to get my shit together. Here's the wake-up call, and then we do nothing with it. Well, that month, I'm pretty sure I sold. I bought a Kia while my truck. Add your income. That would be included in your income. Well, I bought a Kia when my truck and my journey were both getting worked on, and I fixed it up a little bit and I actually sold to my mom around that time and I put the cash in there, I'm pretty sure.

39:29I'm being told you put your closing costs on your house on this card as well. I believe so. That's f***ing insane. In what world did you think you were possibly ready for a house if you have to use a credit card for the closing costs? Well, luckily... The Peoria's cheap! Well, and luckily with the VA loan, it was like$1 ,000 for closing costs. But that's not what that necessarily means at all times. That doesn't mean that's, yes, that makes it easier to get in housing. That doesn't mean it's necessarily a good thing for you. Because I doubt you had a fully funded emergency fund. And that means your equity position and the leniency in it in order to sell your house and not lose money and have to write a check was probably a micro dick size.

40:15Um, oh, it's, so it's even, I just kind of figured like instead of putting like$1 ,500 towards an apartment, it would be better to put like$1 ,100 towards a house and just like have that actually. Not when you can't afford a house because then it's a disaster. And I actually had a kind of, I had roof repairs, which that's another loan on there. And I think that's like a whole nother story on. Let me guess, your roof wasn't good, so you had to repair it. Yeah. Yeah, thrilling story. It's a tale. I was on the roof, and I kept— You can write a book about that one. I'll put in my 13 Reasons Why. But basically, I was on the roof clearing out the gutters, and there was like a weak spot.

41:04And so I felt like I had to get it repaired. And when I was going through the process for the loan, I told them I couldn't get the loan because I had my truck payment. To clarify, you're joking about the 13 reasons why thing, correct? Yeah. Thank you. This would be a different conversation if so. Okay, your minimum monthly payment on here is$496.45. That show pussed out. That show pussed out when it came to the guy bringing the AR-15 to the school. I've literally only seen reels of it, so I have not watched it. besides reals. If they were going to be a full real world how s*** is out there, they pussed out.

41:49Oh, yeah. Like the Charlie Kirk assassination. What? That was pretty crazy. Yeah, that was crazy. Did you see the video when it came out? Or when it happened? I think everyone saw the video. Many of which against our will. Yeah. What, are you the one who did it? No. I like Charlie Kirk.

42:14Okay I made him my Banner on Facebook before I deleted Facebook Like a picture of him Or like a painting What after the death? Yeah Well it's very sad no one should die No one anytime should die But yeah Well having this conversation with you I'm afraid that you're gonna Do that to me later Buy me an Eiffel Tower we might not have a problem. Get light set, you know, you'll really be my good graces. So I have to bribe you for my life to buy an Eiffel Tower set? Yeah. Okay, your minimum day payment is substantial of$496.45. For your regular paycheck, that's already an eighth of your income. That's huge.

43:01That f***s you. Well, more like a 16th, but even still. No, an eighth, right? Yeah.

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43:47No whimsical statuary visible from the street. In the selection, you're not seeing the same basic stuff every other store has. It's actually fun to scroll. And right now, during their Black Friday sale, you can get up to 70 % off. Don't miss out on the early Black Friday deals. Head to Wayfair.com to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals for up to 70 % off. That is W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Sale ends December 7th. Now let's get back to the podcast. Okay. When it comes to numbers, you have nothing to say, do you? But when it comes to... It's hard to argue numbers. Unless it's attached to the pair of tits, right?

44:26Well, you don't see that number. But you should clarify it. Always clarify. Always check IDs before you do anything. Verify age. Make sure it's not a fake ID.

44:41you'll be happy about this. Or maybe it's too high for you, but I don't know. An 18 % interest rate. Dude, the interest charge this year so far is$2 ,180.74. I just, I thought I could afford it. I thought, you know, it's just part of my paycheck going out of the way. I thought. Part of your paycheck, yes. I'd say actually half, more than half of your paycheck has gone to interest this year so far on this card alone. And at the time of this statement, it was just, look at that the payment it was just it was halfway through the year so this will be an entire month's work that you done will go to the interest on this card alone because you're putting dumb from your down payment from legos from pokemon cash advances and you'd be spending on and if it wasn't borderline maxed out i know for a fact based on your behavior and the spending of you spending more money than you make anyway.

45:32So, yeah. I mean. A whole month of you out there grinding goes to this interest this year. Grinding for those Legos, man. Can't be grinding for miners. Come on. Stop. Got to work. Got to do Legos to get myself distracted. What, so you don't do that? Yeah. Colton, I need a chance we can get a hard drive check in the post show, please. I don't want to look at it either in a more official capacity. Okay. Okay. Yes, grinding for the Legos. I agree. Remember that entire month's worth of income could have gone to Legos, but instead of to Legos, just go into interest. So that's not grinding for Legos.

46:18That's grinding for your previous sets, not future sets. And... Go on. What are you trying to say? It's just easier just to ignore the problem and just kind of set it to the side and not think about it. It is, yeah. Hand under the sand, it absolutely will. But once it gets to the point where you're unable to pay for a mortgage, then what do you do? Then it just rolls downhill. Huh? Explain. You lose your house. I mean, luckily, I've never lost a house. My house in Kansas, I actually lost, I've had to pay a little bit of money in. and even then I only got like a few hundred bucks out of it. You made money.

47:00Like a few hundred bucks on the one down in Kansas. So you're going to end up in that situation again and that's even if you're lucky. Yeah. According to Zillow, my house is like 160. Okay, Colton wants me to ask to see your wishlist cart currently. Oh, my Lego Insiders cart? Your Lego Insiders cart. Yeah, what's sitting in the cart for Lego Insiders? Well, right now it's the... Let's see. No, just show me. I don't know if you can see it. Yeah, I guess you told Colton in the green room before this. He was just so excited. He was like, look at my Legos. Yeah. Well, it's more of the wish list. The wish list is where all the stuff is.

47:31Look at my Legos. But yeah, in my bag, I have the Eiffel Tower. Oh, he has the Eiffel Tower. Fuck you. And then on the other list? And then the wish list. Start a screen recording, too. Oh.

47:45I have nothing against Legos, by the way. I really don't. So on here, I have like. Yeah, show, show, show. Let's see. Give. Give, show. I'm afraid to touch this phone $5 ,549.71 $5 ,549.71 We got a Batman Skyline backdrop X-Wing Starfighter Insect collection I feel like I've seen those Barnes and Noble Captain Jack Sparrow's Pirate Ship Okay, I thought it was called the Black Pearl but gotcha. There's Jabba's Sail Barge the Eiffel Tower, the Milky Way Galaxy thing Concord, which we should bring back by the way. Bring back the Concord. Let us travel quicker ladies and gentlemen. TIE Interceptor, flower arrangement instead of you know going and get a date and bringing her real life flowers.

48:39Yeah that's great. Vince Van Gogh, Starry Night, Vince Van Gogh, sunflowers dinosaur fossils steamboat vending machine shuttle aircraft carrier. This is crazy. This is crazy. Mineral collection. Mona Lisa. By the way, she looks like she has Down syndrome when she's a Lego form, so I don't know if we're getting that. I see myself in there, all right? Yeah. Fountain garden. Traditional chess set. Do you play chess? I have. What the f*** are we doing? Trevi Fountain. The Creeper. The Battle Droid, Enderman Tower, Disney Pixar, Mini Bonsai Trees, Hibiscus, Noshweshkin Castle, Game Boy. That's crazy.

49:37This is insane. This is insane. Don't you even come close to considering this. Don't you even come close to considering this. That is all. That is all. We are not going into debt for Down Syndrome Mona Lisa. We're not. I'm sorry. We're not. It's a self-portrait. Come on. And then the plants, they'd never die. So just make them. Listen, I have nothing against Legos. I don't really give a fuck what adults do. There's nothing wrong with labels. You're going into debt. And are we surprised that you can't get a girl to meet you? Are we not surprised? Do you have a dating profile? I made a Tinder when I got here.

50:11When you got to Austin? Yeah. Well, we will review that in the post show with our dating expert, B-Dog. I don't know if I want his input. I know he went out with a kid recently. It was an accident. And it was a car one. Same thing. He tried to get her home safely. Instead of abusing his position like you would. Abusing my age isn't abusing a position. An age isn't a position. It's constantly changing. She tried to grab his dick when he was trying to get her home safely. Are you saying you wouldn't allow that? I know for a fact you and your situation would allow it. No, I've been around kids. I don't let them just talk.

50:48It was in his car. Same effect. Dependency. He acted very appropriate. I cannot say I have the confidence he would do the same. That's all I am saying.

51:02PayPal credit. What's going on? That's kind of my kryptonite right now. It's what I use more than anything. Just because. There is no way you have not gone for a happy massage. I actually haven't. Come on. I really haven't. The two people I've ever asked that to in the history of this show, I know for a fact haven't. Both say they haven't. I really haven't. Like, I had a friend at my work who said that he'd go to them, but I genuinely have not. I have heavy doubt. If I did, you'd cheat on statement, wouldn't you? Not necessarily. Happy fun time, please. Happy ending. Rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door.

51:49Expertly cleaned and folded. So you could take the time once spent folding and sorting and waiting to finally pursue a whole new version of you. Like tea time you. Mmm. Or this tea time you. Or even this tea time you. So did you hear about Dave? Or even tea time, tea time, tea time you. Mmm. So update on Dave. It's up to you. We'll take the laundry. Rinse. It's time to be great.

52:44It was a late fee. $41 late fee, asshole. Why? I just didn't watch my money close enough. Why? And I had a bunch of payments come out once. For what? That was on automatic payment. Then that happens every time if it's automatic. So you should have been able to expect it. And you know that would come in. I think that was when my car was getting worked on. And they made me pay like$300 for an electrical diagnosis. and I just didn't, I just, like you said, I don't have, I don't have a savings or emergency fund. And that's kind of where I'm kind of going back and over and over and constantly at like the limit of where I can.

53:25The minimum payment is 41, right? Yeah. You couldn't make a$41 payment. Not, not when that late payment came. You're hitting, you're going that low in your checking account, bringing in$6 ,300 a month. Whenever I have an emergency. Yeah. How much was the emergency then? Well, it was, so it was an electrical diagnosis. Yes, how much? And they charged like$300 for it. VA did not cover. For electric, for a car? I don't know. What is it? Wait, what was it? A car. A car. Oh, it wasn't. My journey, my journey, my Dodge journey. Sorry, I thought it was something medical. No, no, no. $300? So$300 makes or break you, making$63?

54:04Without emergency fund, yeah. It's not about an emergency fund. No, you should have a little bit of fluff in your checking account. Well, so$300 payment popped up, and that was an emergency that pushed us to the brink. Yeah, in the same month, you spent$471.69 going out to eat. Make that make sense. Make that make sense, Mr. Tony. Make that make sense. Some people like the fluff. I got to keep the fluff on, you know? The minority. Got to be more obese, you know? The minority like the fluff unless you're getting yourself a feeder. Cushion for the pushing, you know. It's not good to be fat. As a fat man, it is not good in any way whatsoever.

54:48There is no benefit. I've lost like 30 pounds. Not a health, not an age, not a nothing, not energy. There's no benefit. I've lost like 30 pounds in the past few months. That's good. Certainly wasn't because you spent$500 going out to eat. You cannot tell me that you were late making a$41 payment because you had a$300 emergency pop up when you spent basically$500 going out to eat. You cannot tell me that. That is...

55:16No sympathy. You would have sympathy with me if all the money coming in was going to minimum payments and minimum payments and living expenses only, survival, and then something hits that you can't afford. That's an emergency, yes. But that's not how this worked. You spent$500 going out to eat. That was the choice. That was you. The McDonald's fries are pretty good They are, I love them I'm a fellow theft Especially when they're like, oh buy$20 worth of stuff And then you get fries for free It's like, alright, there we go And then everything you buy there is like$10 Shut the f*** up There is no sympathy here, you are choosing that You cannot complain about a$300 purchase Stacking up Miscellaneous bullshit alone Those could be video games, they could be Pokemon, Legos That was$600 dollars.

56:05Double what you said your emergency was that put you in the ground. So you, we're talking minimum and we have other large purchases and unknown shopping that we're going to go through and find out if it's bullshit of an additional 1300. But either way, either way you had at minimum, at minimum,$1 ,100 of bullshit minimum. And you're telling me$300 is what destroyed our life. you. That is immature. That is irresponsibility. That is not owning up for our own actions. That is not acting like an adult.

56:45That is a loser who was divorced because he couldn't keep his hands off his wife five years ago and stop his addictions and now can't land a single date going out and coping with his life. I've had dates. Did they know? I mean, it's not something you talk about on a date. At least not the first date. Uh-huh. Talking to a girl at a bus stop is not a date. 35 % interest rate. This is insane. This is insane. This is disgusting. This is unacceptable. You are late on that. You allow this in order for you to go to Mickey D's and get some Legos. This is not a life that you deserve as a human on this earth to have.

57:30but it is the one that you are choosing to live. Choosing to live. Again, if everything was barely breaking even because you were just doing necessities and nothing else and you weren't f***ing around, you would have my full sympathy, full sympathy, and I would cry the tears with you, but you are blowing at minimum$1 ,100 on bulls***. Bulls***. Over, that is a sixth of your income. To bulls***. And you cry to me about a$300 payment. F*** you.

58:01Capital One Business. Yeah? Big business guy? What's your business? Is this the car repairables? Yeah, I actually did make a LLC. Great, really? I used that card to buy some tools, basically. Oh, yeah,$150.85 a transaction. So what's that? I think that was for Pesty. They had a yearly subscription. Huh? What's a Pesty? It's like a bug control. Like, basically a treatment system for your house so that you could keep, like I was having ants come to my house, and I used that card a year before that transaction to pay for it. $1 ,501.98 with a minimum fee payment of$50,$35.34 of interest. You're screwed only making the minimum, and without purchasing, of which you do, by the way, this would take 15 years to pay off, so much longer than that.

58:58Well, Pesty has a yearly subscription plan, and I just forgot to cancel. I did cancel. Good. I mean, it's as easy as that, big guy. But you obviously spent more than just$150 recently to boost it up to this$1 ,500 to your business. That doesn't make money, right? Right? Right? Right. I don't want to hear it again. I got a welder, though, so, you know, I've used it a few times. Buddy, if you want to actually make money somewhere, I'll get you a course career certification if you look for a change in a career field. Lots of people in our audience have done that, and it's boosted their income, and they changed jobs.

59:30I'll do that for you, but what the f*** is this? Your business isn't a business. It's a hobby, and you're justifying it to spend money on interest-recruiting cards that you cannot pay off. I don't want to f***ing hear it. Well, I actually, since I was in the VA and I have disability, I also have the GI Bill, and I would like to get to the point where I could actually utilize it. What's that point? What do you view as being that point? Lower payments and kind of have... How can we get there if we spend$1 ,100 minimum on bullshit? Likely approaching$1 ,500 to$2 ,000. Tighten up and stop buying Legos.

1:00:06Sure, but you don't. So you haven't been. I know that. So you already know what you want to do, but clearly that is not what you care about. You care about the literal$5 ,000 sitting in your Lego. I know. The Eiffel Tower is calling my name right now, honestly. Huh? The Eiffel Tower is really calling my name. Why do we care about the Eiffel Tower? I'm French. There's a fake one in Vegas. It's French, you know, homeland. You gotta, you know, enjoy it. You were born in France. No. Shut the f*** up. I mean, you told Colton you were literally, you're going to buy it in the green room. Like, you are going to buy it.

1:00:37I said, if I'm going to get yelled at it, I might as well buy it. What? That makes no sense. Explain that, because that makes no sense to me. I just, I, it's, I, it's just, uh, if I'm going to get yelled at it, I might as well buy it. There's no point in getting yelled about it If you're not just going to do it anyways

1:01:05Huh? If I'm going to get yelled about something I might as well do it If I'm going to get arrested for something I may as well do it What is this logic? If I'm getting in trouble for it Why wouldn't I just do it? What? That's not the reason but that's certainly a negative consequence of doing something, meaning it would be a reason to not do it. Yeah, but then I could also get the dopamine of building it and having it in my collection, and I could put lights on it and make it even cooler, and then maybe do some field trips to show it off. They said everything else you said in this conversation, this is not making me feel good about you leaving this building.

1:01:47Mm-hmm. Oh,$1 ,457.91 on this pro-form financing. What is this pro-form financing? So that's actually a treadmill.

1:02:00Ever used or put together? Yeah, it's in my garage. I have a little, so my house has a three-bay garage. Mm-hmm. And one bay I have a weight set and then my treadmill. The other bay is the rat rod, and the last bay is where I have, like, my tools. So, yo,$1 ,457, and I know one cents on the treadmill must be a pretty nice treadmill, with a$45 minimum monthly payment. Now, this is interest-free. Is there deferred interest? No. As long as I make every single payment... I don't have a second page. As long as I make every single payment, it'll be interest-free. Which, the reason I kind of... Equal 39 payments.

1:02:42Which, that's kind of the reason... Okay, yeah, that is true. That's kind of the reason I went for it is because I was already paying for a gym membership. Yeah, sure. I get that. But here's the thing. With you, the fact is you're just adding more debt to the pile, more minimum payments to the pile that you can no longer control. And with that, again, remember, you have a$45 payment here. The$41 payment from the PayPal credit you missed. Like adding more minimum payment, a gym you can cancel. You can go on walks. I would like you to have a gym. Absolutely. But worst comes to worst, you can get rid of it.

1:03:12You can't get rid of this. You can try to sell it, but you're not going to be able to eat the entire amount. So with this, you're just adding more to the pile of minimum payments that you cannot control. And it's going to f*** you. Come time for another$300 payment to hit. It's also got a four-year warranty on it. So if anything breaks, anything wins it. Listen, a gym doesn't have a warranty. It doesn't need a warranty. They'll fix their s***. This makes no sense. This is you are obligated to pay a legally contracted$1 ,500. You can cancel a gym. Now, again, I want you to go to the gym. but you're in a situation where you literally told me you couldn't make a$41 minimum fee payment on the PayPal.

1:03:46You were late on that. Why would I want and advocate for you adding a$45 minimum fee payment from this pro form financing, even if it is for an item on a payment plan that is decent? Um...

1:04:11Thank you.

1:04:45Thank you.

1:04:51Thank you.

1:05:36Thank you.

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1:06:21Thank you.

1:06:51It just makes it easier. I figured it would be worth it in the sense of having the availability. Just, oh, go out to the garage, work out, go take a shower. Sure, but you can also run outside or walk outside as well or jog outside whatever you're doing on the treadmill. It's just easier. Also, you're in Peoria. It's not even that hot. It's been pretty hot. Shut the fuck up. It's not hot. I am from the Midwest. Shut the fuck up. You don't know hot. You've never heard hot in your life. It's actually hot. No. My garage is actually cooler because of insulation. No. It doesn't matter. You are not hot outside.

1:07:23It is okay. Go. Run. Jock. 90 degrees is pretty hot. Oh, 90 degrees. Oh, sounds like a nice fall day. Shut the fuck up. No, 70 degrees is a nice fall day. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's not hot there. Shut up. You're fine. People run here at 110. I got a bad hip. It just makes it easier having a smooth, constant taste. Okay, of which I can vibe with, but then go to the gym to do it again. If you cannot afford a$42 minimum to pay me, you cannot afford this. It is good financing It is a good purchase You can't do it The gym membership was 30 so 45 Of what you can get out of when you need to And 30 is cheaper I don't know if you know how numbers work It is cheaper but long term 45 I would have that And on top of the 4 year Warranty it just Insures that long term investment Shut the f*** up Affirm what is going on I hear you were not able to pull it up As my document says he couldn't figure it out.

1:08:19What the what is even the affirm? So my sister actually asked, has been asking me to take her to a Billie Eilish concert.

1:08:31And so basically I just affirmed the tickets and the whole, basically the whole travel plan. It was$1 ,200? Yeah. The whole thing? Pretty much. She's great. I've seen her in concert. You can't afford it. F*** your sister. I don't care. The concert was like$600. And then basically, that's the flights in the Expedia package. Where's the concert? Florida. Miami. Why'd you go to the Florida one? Do something closer. Oh, so you can't afford it. And listen, again, we all love Billie Eilish, especially us gooners. They are substantial. But you cannot afford this in any way whatsoever, especially for double people.

1:09:11Well, we're actually bringing her boyfriend's daughter with us. Because she promised her that she, my sister promised her. Did you pay for that? No, so. But you paid for your sister. I paid the majority. How old's your sister? She's 26. Q, she can pay for her own damn tickets. You can't afford this. You can't afford you going alone. She actually gave me$800 towards the total. Great. You still can't go. Oh, you shouldn't. This is not something you can do. I want you to have these experiences, but not when you've done everything in your life to just live for fun now and pay for it later. Now is later.

1:09:50You can't do it. You're still paying for your McDonald's from three years ago. Like, this doesn't make sense anymore. This is what a responsible adult does. Sacrifices. She's been asking to go for like the past two years. Good, she can go then. She can go then. She can go then. Is she? We have the same mom, so probably. She's 26. She can go herself. She can go with, I hear she has a boyfriend. That's the rumor I heard. He doesn't like going to social stuff. Doesn't matter. She can still go and with the kid as well. Yeah. Well, and it's funny because when I landed in Dallas. That's hilarious. She messaged me saying that she wants to go see Korn at some point.

1:10:28I still don't care what she wants to see. Why does she want to see Madder at all in any way whatsoever? You are not her. You are not her father. You are not her boyfriend. I don't give a fuck. If you can afford it, then you do it, and we celebrate that. You cannot. You are still paying for Pokemon literally over five years ago. So I do not want to hear this. Korn, shut up. Well, she's done a lot for me. Oh, my goodness. I'd rather just, you know, enjoy. I want to spend time with my sister. Spend time with your sister. You do not need to spend$1 ,200 to spend time with your sister. And if you do, she's a bad sister.

1:10:58Well, it's either that or we go out and get plastered on Everclear. So, you know, it's one or the other. You can't go to a park and enjoy the sunset? that? No. It's easier to talk and have a conversation when you're drunk. Oh, your life sucks.

1:11:18What's your minimum repayment to a firm? I think it's like$200 because I did the zero interest of paid in this amount of time. Reminder, you can't make a$41 payment, so we'll see how this goes. Especially, look, now we have another substantial minimum repayment. This must be the truck, right? That's the truck. $40 ,648.77? That's the truck and roof repair. What? So when I was going through the roof repair, or when I was looking into it, they offered to give me cash to put towards the truck to make the payment for the roof repair more feasible. How much did the roof repair cost? 23. And then they gave me 17 to pay towards my truck.

1:12:00What's the truck worth? today. I actually took it in to see if I couldn't sell it and they said they'd give me eight for it. You owe$40 ,000 on an$8 ,000 truck. It's the roof and the truck. But the debt is likely tied to it. You have a$40 ,000 debt. Lean on an$8 ,000 truck that is insane. I don't know if that debt is leaned against the truck. because they don't have the title for it. What's the interest rate on this? 15%. Oh, f***. For something we are underwater on by$32 ,000. $32 ,000 underwater. We're underwater by over. The original. Shut up. 75 % over that. And then we have a 15 % interest rate of death on that.

1:12:55Oh, my gosh, guy. Oh, my f*** goodness. What have you done? The original interest rate on the truck, when I first got it, was like 18. So I saw 15. I thought it would be better.

1:13:14Oh, and you're considering solar. He's considering financing solar. You live in the Midwest. Clouds. They did the service, and they said I could. Yeah, the salesman said what? What did the salesman say? $150 a month, a 2.5 % increase. Okay. For leasing the solar panels. And they would repair the rest of my roof, basically. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Now, Mr. B-Dog, Brandon, the one vetting your profile, the translator, you know him, you love him, sold solars door-to-door at one point. Please tell us, how good of a deal is he getting? You're getting fucked. Do not consider this Do not consider this He literally sold this product He did the exact same job That you are being sold to My electric bill is like$300 Oh my goodness He fell for every talking point He fell for every talking point And he's now parroting them Dude are you kidding me Solar can be good If you're in Arizona North, Texas, or California.

1:14:30You ain't. You ain't, you tit. The roof repair is the main reason I was interested in it. Your roof has been repaired. Well, no. That loan was for like a second. My roof is huge. Like there's multiple layers and multiple angles. And so the solar would have - We have a McMansion? How many square feet do you got? I don't know the exact - How many square feet do you got? I don't know the exact square feet. Ish. How many bed, how many bath? It's three bed, two bath. And there's also another room which I would consider a bedroom, but... It's an office, probably. It's a pretty good size, though. You fit a bed and all kinds of stuff.

1:15:03But it's an office. Yeah, I use it as my... Okay, you probably have like a 15 to 2 ,000 square foot... 1 ,500 to 2 ,000 square foot house. Your roof isn't that crazy. If you saw it, you'd understand. And it probably has weird McMansion crevies. Yeah, I got it. I get it. I know houses. But basically, they said that they repair the whole garage roof, and then basically where the solar panels were going, which is my garage and then the - You're getting these fucking solar panels. No. Oh my goodness. No, you're convinced. You're sold. You've been sold. I was in the process of actually doing it and then they canceled it and I think it was because of the tariffs.

1:15:39Like, because when, you know - They canceled? I think so because I just looked at it and it said pending, pending, pending, pending and it's been like that for the past like two years. Good. Let it be pending forever, please. Please. 15 % on a car were underwater by over 75%. Disgusting. Disgusting in every way whatsoever. Another Navy Federal. This looks like a personal loan, right? What's this for? I think that might be for the The what? For the truck. A second debt on the truck? Like I said, the roof repair loan they gave me$17 to put towards the truck but I still had$4 ,000 that I I needed the finance.

1:16:23And I wanted to get out of the loan that I was in with a different bank than Navy Federal. Because it was at 18%. And so I went to a lower interest rate. Ladies and gentlemen, this is one of you. Every single person who comes on the show, watches the show, and is from the audience. This is one of you. This is your neighbor. This is your friend. This is your family. We do not talk about personal finances in this capacity in this country. This is what people are Doing out there This is insane What the actual potential Well that's part of what ruined my marriage Is not talking about finances Yeah that's what it was I said part Yeah That was her You like your gamer subs Like your gamer subs I like gamer subs It's Charlie's Goof Juice You picked the most mundane one over there.

1:17:22Gigi Drinks, gamerstubs.gg slash Caleb, link below. You can also get free samples to see if you like it. More affordable than your dumbass gas station purchases for like$5. This is like making your own coffee at home and it tastes better. I do promise that. Yes, yeah, it's okay to be a little gooner. But guys, ladies and gentlemen, whatever just happened to good old classic just sit down at your computer open up the screen get a just a nice big fake pair of tits from probably like a 32 year old woman pretending like she's 25 with a dude who's like 80 pretending like he's 60 so like Brandon's type yes exactly okay you're parasocial whatever happened to just classic why do we gotta bring tentacles into things why do we gotta bring Why do we have Jeffrey Epstein's Island, man?

1:18:15I don't know. I feel like you would be better to answer that. People just want to up the ante constantly. Guys, just jerk off the regular f***er. Please. No tentacles. I don't want it. Come on, man. Don't say that. Don't say that. Do you guys know what that is? Do you guys know what f***ing town is? What are you saying? is drawings of children. No. No. Yes. They're 500-year witches, all right? They're immortals. Don't do this. Don't try to do it. Do not do defensive. Listen, I've made crazy jokes in my life. I've made crazy jokes in group chats. Listen, I've gotten cooked for them, but they're jokes.

1:19:00You are going too far on this. This is crazy. This is absolutely crazy. Crazy.

1:19:08Okay, so truck 2.0, I guess.

1:19:16$4 ,824.99. The minimum monthly payment of$92. This is going to take forever to pay off. $92.18.

1:19:32Yeah, I think it's that low because I got the longest term. Yeah, and an 11 % interest rate over eight months.

1:19:43Mortgage.

1:19:47$142 ,544.58. 5.25 % interest rate, not bad. It was originally like 7.125 You refinanced? Yeah Or you bought down Okay I refinanced to the 5.25 Interesting $1 ,187.42

1:20:09Type in your address big boy

1:20:20Yeah You'd pretty much break even If you sold today except not really because you have the closing costs on a credit card. But you'd break even after all fees and realtors and bullsh**. Well, and Zillow always goes more than it's actually worth. Yeah, Zillow gets a little excited. Not a bad house, though. It's cute. His roof is not that crazy. It's a f***ing couple-layered roof, and he tried to make it sound like it was something insane. Well, it also goes... Buddy, it's a f***ing roof. It's got angles. It has angles. Guys, his roof has angles. More angles than a 13-year-old. Come on, man. It's a f***ing house.

1:20:54Calm down. You tit, dude. You f***ing tit. It's not a bad house. You'd break even today, so I'm okay with that. Okay? It's a cute... Cute house. $419 in our checking account. $414. $5 in savings. It's not good. ATM withdrawal. Who knows where that went? $23. Stopping in the gas station. getting$3.19 of what? Probably an energy drink. Exactly! That's like the f***ing Gamersupps, dude. It's 25 cents a serving. Which one do you want? Which one do you want? I don't know. I don't know what the flavors are. Whichever one has the biggest boobs, I guess. Well, this one's Incel Tears, which he desperately has and needs.

1:21:42This one's very good. I tried it the other day. That's what I took home with me. That one's yummy. There you go. You can make it right now. You can shake it up. Go ahead. Put it in. I should try it 25 cents a serving instead of your stupid $4 purchase Well actually I have a Costco membership too Which I've been getting a lot From Costco It's good for buying a bulk list, it's still cheaper though It's like making your coffee instead of going to Starbucks Yeah Give it a good shake Hey I stopped and got some more bull Give it more of a shake Dude you gotta shake for like 30 seconds Well it's cause you're a messy Those are insults here.

1:22:22Soppy's good, man. Soppy's good. Soppy toppy. Buddy, you haven't been near a mouth in a long time. Champion Express. It does smell good. That's the tropical one. I really do like that one. Amazon, Arby's. Good? Yeah, really good. Amazon, Arby's. Listen, they're goony. They're goony, but they are actually really yummy. Venmo. Legend. Legend of something. No, Legend of Slime. That's a mobile game. You're buying in-app mobiles. Yes. Off. Champion Express. Amazon. Going in, getting an energy drink. You take that. Going in and getting an energy drink. McDonald's. You got premium. Amazon. Going in, getting some bullsh**.

1:23:08Bumble dating. Yeah. So you got Bumble too. Well, no. Deleted it? You're paying for it. Well, when that girl deleted me off everything, I just deleted it. I was like, f**k this. And I, I, anytime I get a game game, going in, getting an energy drink, more bumble carwash. Come on. It's not even winter yet. You Amazon Sonic carwash. It's not even winter yet. There's the legend of slime again. Ghost in Va. It's another in-app dumb game. Stopping in, getting an energy drink. Another in-app game purchase. Sonic, another in-app game purchase. Ghost invasion, energy drink, energy drink, energy drink, carwash.

1:23:45You it's not winter going in and getting some bullshit. Ultimate, Microsoft, Microsoft Ultimate. Spotify. Going in, getting an energy drink. Going in, getting an energy drink. Prime Video. Ghost Invasion. Snake Krusty something. I don't know. It's another in-app game. Zynga, you got the in-app bullshit. Went in, got some bullshit from the gas station. Amazon. Ghost Invasion. Ghost Invasion. Ghost Invasion. This is sad and disgusting and depressing. Getting in an energy drink. Culver's. Now that's good, but you still can't afford it. Kobe revolving sushi, Kobe, uh, legend of slime or whatever the Amazon.

1:24:26I think you rented a movie or bought a movie and then legend of slime, legend of slime. eBay going in and getting some bullshit and then pubs 60 bucks and crazy again. Listen, get whatever you want. Get, get whatever you want. Okay. We'll send you some gamer subs or something so you can stop going and blowing hundreds on this. Okay. 10 % off. Link in the description below or get your free samples. Type in code HAMMER. Retirement surprising at$8 ,179. Is that the company you work at? Yeah. The car one? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. We're bleeping it for the name. I know they had a factory there, but it is the Rust Belt.

1:25:09Well, it's in... That's where the factory is, specifically. Oh, fuck. I'll be honest. So many things you said in this conversation have been concerning. And the way you had a relationship with your ex is concerning. And then just everything, it's all concerning. That's why I'm single right now. Part of the reason. Okay,$6 ,300. We're putting for the income. All right. Debt payments. Navy Federal Credit Card,$486.45. PayPal Credit,$41. $50 for the Capital One business. $45 for the ProForm Financing. $200 for a firm,$641.91 for the truck and roof. And then the truck 2.0 is$92.18. And then we'll do the mortgage separately.

1:26:00But your debt minimum fee payments down, including mortgage, is$1 ,566.54. And then our mortgage is sitting at$1 ,187.42. Now, utilities and everything combined. Internet, utilities, gas, electric, what? How much? I think it's like 500, 400. I'll do five. Phone bill. 80. And I actually, where I work, they offer a phone stipend or basically. Do it. Does it cover that amount? I do. I do. I do. Like every month I have to submit my bill. That's good in your pay. Yes. Okay. So I think it is. It's 80 bucks. And remember, we did include the rent that his roommate gives him and that$63 that comes in. So hopefully that person doesn't leave or else you get$800.

1:26:54But either way, gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive. How much a month? Probably like$100 if I had to guess. You just sit inside getting internet purchases all day. Minecraft, man. I'm playing it constantly. Oh, we know. Car insurance. I think it's like my last bill is like$120. Okay. You can do$300 of food, groceries, meal plan, cook a few times a week, warm it up, lots of overnight oats. You're going to be doing good, yummy things. It's all healthy. It's three meals a day plus snack and dessert. You'll be fine. Meal prep. I actually got overnight oats from Costco because they have like a bigger box.

1:27:31Okay. That's probably a more expensive way to do it, but we'll see. $100 for TV fund and anything else you need to survive, medical or healthcare. You have co-pays and stuff to do? I have VA medical, so. Okay. Besides like. Subscriptions. Let's try to do 50 because you got some games. Do you have any pets? Please know. I have a dog. Age and health? He's a five and he's pretty good health. $50 for pet insurance. How much for dog food? I'd say like 30 bucks a month. I just get a big day. Anything else that needs to be in your budget that I have not taken in account? I don't believe so. Okay. Well, we got wiggle room for days, meaning your debt situation is absolutely moronic.

1:28:10So$4 ,083. so what I will do is give you what is that$417 $416 for fun in your budget oh it brings you to$4 ,500 $6 ,300 divided by$4 ,500 that means you have an extra$1 ,800 even after fun because you being in this debt is the dumbest piece of no reason for you to be in debt I might be able to get the Eiffel Tower with that shut the f*** up you have$72 ,000 of bad debt $1 ,800 a month to put towards it It takes 40 months to pay off. That is not that bad given how substantial the debt is. So it's over three years. Call it four years when we get the entire emergency fund and everything together.

1:28:52You have a little wiggle room there. You're totally fine. Dude, this is going to be a little bit of a grind, but I gave you fun money. Go off. Go off. Go off. Well, I actually got in an argument with a friend about wanting to tighten down recently. because I told him I was kind of looking at jet skis and then he started buying jet skis and said he was really looking forward to me buying a jet ski from him. And I was like, I can't. And I got in a little bit of a confrontation about it. Great. Maybe we'll talk more about that in the post show. We're also going to call his mom in the post show and do the dating app audit as well.

1:29:28But let's get his Hammer Financial Score. Hammer Financial Score. Spending a budget. Overspend 0 out of 10. Debt. No collections. He can pay off his debt. He's being moronic with it and he missed the payment, but it's a two out of 10 debt wise. Emergency fund. There's nothing zero out of 10 retirement. Definitely behind for your age, but at least you got something there. I'm going to give it a two out of 10 real estate. Real estate. Yeah. I mean, you break even. You don't have an incredible equity position. You still got to do some things to the roof. It sounds like. So I'm going to give it a six out of 10 because of some things you just got to take care of and then get more of a position in the marketplace.

1:30:00It's going to be a hammer financial score. Two out of 10. Take yours at Caleb hammer.com. and now click join. See an extra 20 minutes in this episode by subscribing to Hammer Elite where you get three premium shows posted every single day Monday through Friday including this financial auto post show. See you there. There's a protective order against him from his wife. Literally the most I did after we had separated was I left her stuff at her parents' house. For her to say that she feels in danger? This is insane. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform and I just upgraded it.

1:30:33Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise.