The $770,000 Boob Job | Financial Audit

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24:57Personally or romantically or both? Audit breakdown. We still don't film with people like that. He is at the next level. And hammer it out. Discipline into your budget. That's what I was thinking. Plus, you'll get access to Hammer Elite Day on January 31st. No other channel offers what Hammer Elite provides. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. Submit proof of purchase at hammerelite.com and we'll reimburse you for your first month with a$10 digital gift card that can be spent anywhere in most countries. Sorry, North Korea. This isn't for you. This is how we have to do a free trial on here because the platform doesn't currently offer free trials.

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25:48Uh, okay. I guess you're overcomplicating it, but I guess the math does... work because when you said that$7 ,000 or$8 ,000, I thought that was on top of. Oh, no. So technically you are spending less. Here is your difference. So you are saving about that much. So, okay,$5 ,300 plus$2 ,200 plus$840 are your expenses, but minus the 5 ,000 that brings in, you're still losing 3 ,340, but that is less than the 5 ,300 plus whatever utility. So technically, technically it works. It's just fucking stupid. Why not just sell the house? I won't do it. I won't do it. and see how I'm trying to subsidize to pay off the debt because I had so much credit card debt.

26:56That was the idea. But why not sell the house? I thought that I could move back in once I paid off the debt. Why not sell the house is the question because you said I will not. So why the f*** not? I want to hold on to it. Congratulations, why? I feel like it will be worth a million dollars. What was your purchase price? $635. Oh, I saw that$600. Yeah, worth about$600. So never mind. That would be why not. Yeah. But even writing a check, even writing a check, getting a$1 ,500 rent, like you would make it back relatively quickly and then you'd be just making, you'd be making the difference and better at that point.

27:38You're like long-term rented? Is that what you're saying? What are you saying? Long-term rent? No, if you sell it, write a check for what you lost, which you'll be writing like a$20 ,000 check with the money you make by renting a$1 ,500 place, You make that up in a couple of years. And then at that point, you're just golden making more instead of holding on this house. Yeah. So I just don't, I don't understand this house. Is it really an opportunity for you? Sure. Multi-decade. I got it a huge deal though. So it was originally. What are you talking about? So it was originally listed for$750. And it was a short term rental.

28:09No, you got it for market. You got it for market. Come on, realtor. You got it for market. I got it for$635. Come on, realtor. You got it for market. No, it had rats. It had rats. I got a$100 discount. That's for market. No. If you and the seller came to an agreement that is for market, you didn't get a discount. I got a discount. Does it still have rats? Perhaps. They just killed four of them today. Who's they? So when we go there later, there's going to be rats? No, no, no. I made sure that they came before you arrived today.

28:40Perhaps, you know, the work that they did. Today, which is Wednesday. Meaning people stayed there this last weekend. Yes. hey but I have all five star reviews just hit 21 five star reviews how how what I actually lost my biggest booking back in October like for ACL a rat chewed through the wiring for the AC the AC went out and they walked out you're broken just stop okay just stop okay okay so you bought this disaster that's f***ing you in every way whatsoever that technically you can't afford so I don't understand how this has ruined you, but you did this to move your relationship along of a guy that was hiding you, and then you broke up with, okay, so how long did you own this house before you broke up?

29:25It's always been an off and on thing. He'll come back for three months. He'll go away for a month. And when was the last time he was in? This summer when I didn't have any money to, I had to move out of the house and I didn't have enough money to afford a place to live. So you went back to him? So he didn't come back to you there. You went back to him? I went back as a friend. A friend that definitely f***ed. Of course. See, exactly. Come on, we know things. We know. Well, you have a vagina, he has a penis, and you guys are attracted to each other. Yeah. That tends to happen. Fair. It's weird how that works.

29:54And also, you guys dated at this point. You also... We all have that dream trip we've been wishing we could go on. But too often, life, or usually price, gets in the way. That's why Priceline is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality. With up to 60 % off hotels and up to 50 % off flights, You can book everything you need for your next adventure. Don't just dream about that next trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com and book your next trip today. Go to your happy price. Priceline. Saw him this weekend. Hmm. Perhaps. Did you? No. Good, because he has a girlfriend from my knowledge.

30:33No, he doesn't. Definitely not. Oh, he's dating someone new, but like it's casual. It's casual. I mean, God. Oh, he broke up with you? You didn't break up with him. It's a back and forth. He broke up with you originally during escrow. Yes. You didn't break up with him. He broke up with you. Yeah. Oh, so he was hiding near you by this house to move your relationship along, and he breaks up with you in escrow? Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Why are you even allowing to go back to this guy? He gives this theme of hope. It's always like, you're so beautiful. I just need a month to get myself back. And how many times has that happened?

31:08Oh, my God. More than I can count. Then why can't you learn, girl boss? He's so convincing with those nice lips, you know? He has your eyes. It's just really. I just have normal brown ass eyes. They're kind of hazel-ish. No. In this lighting. Yeah. You don't have, they don't have the same effect on me. It's fine. I'm not trying to seduce you. You're ancient. Okay, but I got a question though on the boys. Wait. Do you pay for your, do you believe in paying the bill for the people that you're dating? What bill? Like for dinners and dates. I mean, I do. It's not like a hardcore core belief. I mean, my philosophy has always been, and I'm about to get shit on in the comments, because I was shit on in our membership when we talked about this.

31:54He's cheap. No, if I go on a first date, I will pay if I want another date. If it's a bad date and I never want to see them again, I will try to have them pay for it, but I will at least split it. If it's a date where I'm like, I don't want to date them again, but I'll f***. Let's have some sex afterwards. Yeah. I'll split it. You're an asshole. Why? How is that an asshole? I mean, wow. That's adults taking care of their own bills. I mean, you're going to pay$25 to have access to me? I just feel. So you think people pay to have sex with you? I mean, yeah, you'll buy my dinner if you're going to then f*** me.

32:32Well, you're a prostitute. See, for me, I think two consenting adults are f***ing and taking care of their own bills. Okay. You're right to have your own opinion. But what about long term? So let's say like you're a boyfriend-girlfriend. Which I am. Yeah, congrats. Well, thank you. But that's where I am right now is what I'm saying. But what's the money philosophy there? Well, I just take care of it because I'm objectively the breadwinner due to my position. Fair. so it just makes sense but like I don't really care okay I would split it if she wanted to I'd let her take care of it if she wanted to I don't really care who gives a fuck why is this like a core value we're not courting anymore that's fair that's fair he was a 50-50 guy no matter what no matter what dollars I had yeah always 50-50 because you eat a lot like oh and he charges interest on the money he loans you 10 % if you don't pay back within a month I like this man.

33:28Bring him in. Oh, God. I would rather talk to him instead. Wow. Yeah, okay. No, no, no. You're good. You're fine. You're fine. Oh, he used to meet you to do financial audits. Yes. And yet you're still like this? He's helping. It's getting better. No, I think this is because you're an independent girlie. It was actually his suggestion. The one time that a dude mansplains to you, you're like, let's just make it worse because I don't want to follow what he says. I read that vibe with you. Yeah, you're pretty right. Yeah. Yeah. That hasn't helped you. because personal finances are easy it takes a while to get to the complicated shit the mortgage shit that can get kind of complicated most personal finance shit is pretty easy if you feel like you're getting mansplained to him and then you're like you're just gonna fuck yourself over because it's really easy it's all simple it doesn't feel simple to me I've been in this situation maybe you shouldn't be girl bossing because it's literally the most simple shit in the entire world budgeting it's like so basic You can learn it in five minutes.

34:29No, it stresses me out every week. I'm like freaking out. I'm like, I don't know what the heck to do. Then I don't think you should be a program manager if you can't handle a couple numbers on a paper. I mean, budgeting apps like dollar-wise, it's all automated. I get all excited and shit. It's like, I don't know. None of us want to see that, but I'm like, I don't, what? It just seems like there's never enough, no matter how much I make. Well, because you're a moron with your money. You don't sit there and actually budget it. If you budget it, you certainly have enough, especially with, okay. So we know what comes in.

35:03What was spent last month? I'd have to check. What do you think was spent last month? Put yourself in that ring. $13 ,000 to$14 ,000. Yeah, it was$28 ,941.75. No way. Yes way. And that's not a mansplained number. In fact, the accountant who did this was a woman. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. She's surprised. She's sexist. Girl, we live in 2025. Girls can do numbers too. Just because you can't, others can. Okay. Okay. Usually that number is 70 cents on the dollar, but not my problem. Okay, fine. Oh, we don't do that here at Hammer Media. In fact, I'd say the women make more. Really? Oh, come on. Huh? Really?

35:47Well, yeah, that's because the women that work here tend to be in the more skilled and demand positions where, you know, Mr. Mark over there is making pennies on the dollar because he's a little contractor. Love you, Mark. Hi, Mark. Say hi to the camera. Yeah, I'm a contractor. Yeah, we can relate. Here he is. Here's our little pennies on the dollar, boy. Here he comes, all five foot two.

36:15Okay. So what do you think your financial score is? Zero to 10, zero being the worst finances ever, 10 being the best finances ever. One. Okay. If you want your financial score, it is free to take the assessment. It only takes a few minutes to see where you stand in the world of money at CalebPamber.com. See what you got to do to improve your situation, where you're f***ing up, where you're doing well. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show, again, it's not complicated shit, just download the DollarWise budgeting app. Take the free trial to see if you like it. New features being added every single month, tens of thousands of subscribers for a reason.

36:47And then if you like it, You can sign up for the annual version to save a lot of money. And I will personally sign my budget-friendly cookbook and mail it directly to you. DollarWise.app, CalebHammer.com. All those links are below. All right, let's jump in because this is going to take a second because, oh, we're f***ed. This is a lot of paperwork, and you spend beyond way more than you bring in. It's not even comparable. I don't even know how you exist. It's insane. Okay, so here we go. Passed to it. Why am I seeing pass-to on your f***ing mortgage? Well, you know, I was unemployed. Huh? When?

37:20When? When? March to July. And you just got employed into a declining, not only company, but market as well. What were you doing before that? I was a program manager at a different tech company. What tech company? And you got laid off at a company that is actually growing? Well. And now you're at that. It was a dream job. Sure, I'm sure. Yeah. I'm a contractor, though. That's not a layoff. They just didn't renew your contract. Yeah, well, is that the matter? Wait, are you a contractor right now? Wait, when does your contract end? January 31st. You have all these bills? Oh, you got basic. Whoa.

38:00Why would you get a house? Your contracts come to a end. Oh, what are you doing? What are you doing? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why are you doing any of this contract? Contract? Oh, are you W2'd? Yeah. Oh, why aren't you doing any of this contract? You have an end date. You have a f***ing end date. Oh, good luck with the renewal. Good luck with the renewal to Airbnb. Airbnb, good f***ing luck. Oh, why are you getting into any of this shit if you're a contractor? Contract. Oh, what are you doing? Fair. Okay. Fair? How about you tell me f***ing why? Why can't we work two of the ones? I'd have a one year, if I was a contracting, I'd be a one year emergency funded a minimum before I went any kind of debt.

38:51Oh, what do you have to Airbnb? I had an emergency fund when I bought the house. It's just all gone. And how long was that emergency fund with your mortgage included into it? How long would it have lasted? Six months. Bullshit. Bullshit. Your mortgage payment, what was the number you had saved up? $70 ,000 after I paid. I had about a hundred grand. How'd you f*** this? How'd you f*** this? You weren't unemployed for six months. I was depressed. I was hungry, like you said. Which one was it, depressed or hungry? Both. Bulls***, depressed. F*** you, everyone says they're depressed. Until I get a clinical diagnosis, I don't believe that shit anymore.

39:29Yeah. You had a sad day, we all do. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. What, because Mr. Mexican left you? Yeah, for the tenth time. Girl, you're behind four months. Mm-hmm. I'm in a more... Garvin's on a f***ing Airbnb! Works for Airbnb, has an Airbnb, four months behind on her Airbnb, contract ends in two months. You said January, right? End of Jan, so three? Three months? Kind of, I'd say two and a half. I have option for renewal, you know? You have the option or they have the option? Well, they have the option. That's a f***ing car! It's Airbnb! It is a... They are down 10 % this f***ing month. You know how stock prices go up when companies aren't doing well?

40:08Layoffs! I'm still going to get that full-time offer. I'm going to get it. Just like you did at... Oh, a sore spot there. It just happened. It's a prime example of how this works. A sore spot. F*** you, sore spot. You don't know what a sore spot is. That just f***ing happened. That is reality. That is what your type... Can you cover the mortgage? F*** you. What was your job? What was your job when you got this mortgage? I was a program manager at Meta, and I was making the most I'd ever made. What was it? I make one three an hour now. I was making 90 an hour. So almost 200. All this privilege.

40:44All this opportunity. All this shit. And you f***ed it all. I had a plan. No, you didn't. You blew your emergency fund on hunger. And assets. That's our plan. Assets? What assets? Yeah, just things. Things. What? House. No, you said you had 70 ,000 left after the assets. So where did it go? What assets? There was some trips. That's not an asset. Some purchases. Some personal. What did you purchase? Okay, what was your personal purchases? Plastic surgery.

41:20Oh. No, no, no, no. You do look good. I'm just like, I'm trying to figure out the way. Because usually plastic surgery you can kind of see. Mm-hmm. Okay, maybe we'll learn as we go along. Can you turn to the side? Mm-hmm. No, your nose wasn't done. Oh. No, you have a bump, but it's not bad. Bumps aren't bad. We like a good bump. That's a natural nose. It's a magical. But you definitely don't have a nose job because it would be a perfect nose, and you don't have a perfect nose. I don't even like perfect noses. It's just so annoying. It's so fake. Because you know if you f*** someone with a perfect nose and then a baby comes out, that baby's going to have a f***ed up nose.

41:55Fair. So there were some asset purchases. Asset purchases? I don't think... Do you know what the word asset means? Is there anything tangible that you can sell? I'm trying to meet my husband. right? And my mom always said, you know, once you get them done, you're probably going to meet the middle of your life. Oh, are they done? Are those done right there? I don't know. They're not even on display. What's the point of even purchasing them at that point? I wanted to be polite to your girlfriend. I don't think she has to be worried. Oh, you're ancient. It's okay. How old are you? 30. Okay. Yeah, I'm like your grandma.

42:32Yeah. So the tits. How much were the tits? $14 ,000-ish. $1 ,000? Mm-hmm. For titties? Yeah, they were natural. It was a premium price for premium. They're not natural, they're fake. But they're as natural as natural could be. Are they silicone? No, it's actually a new kind that mimics natural tissue. Good, because I hate, every time I f***ed the fair tits, I hated it. You wouldn't know. Hated it. You wouldn't know. I'll let someone else vouch for that. It's just fake boobs. I mean, they look good from afar, but up close, it's just like, you're just kind of feeling this. You're like, uh, uh. That's why it's a premium price, you know?

43:19You probably only got like the$5 ,000 ones that you've touched. You've never touched the$14 ,000 ones. Yeah, well, the one I touched had breast cancer. So that's why she got them. I'm just going to have some coffee. Now how do you feel? Excuse me. I'm busy. So$14 ,000 for tits. Yes, sir. And that was in December of last year. And my contract was ending in March. And you can always see because I got a little scar right here. You do a little, you're like, what's this? That's how I check. On the third date when you split the meal, right? Or when you pay for the meal. No, second. Second?

44:01Third. I don't know. I haven't been single for a long time. I don't think people wait to the second date these days. Really? Unless they're Gen Z. They're very anti-sex. They're very anti-sex. They wait generations until they... It's in a church community, so it's a little different. Yeah. Ah, yes. Mm-hmm. My favorite thing that the churchgoers do, get big fake tits for the congregation. For Jesus. Ah, okay. Where did you get those? Those, uh, those. Them? Oh, yeah, they? The girls. Back in December. The twins. They're almost a year old. Okay. Oh, that's right when a contract ended. Yeah, I had a couple more months.

44:4114 ,000. So someone is this, what's this new material? What do you mean? What is this new material that we are making tits out of? Oh, it's called Motiva. It's a gel-like. Sounds like a weight loss drug. It's a gel and that feels natural. I've had some of that too. So someone in Austin is just injecting Motiva into people? Well, no, it's a structure and they put it in there. Yeah. But it's gel-like, and it mimics, like, how tissue would move. Where do I go in Austin to experience this? Can I name the doctor? Is it where you went? It was in Austin? Yeah, it was in Austin. Oh. Yeah, she's excellent.

45:16Okay. No, no, no, no. Okay. But, okay. Okay, yeah, four payments behind in a mortgage. So we can get things like fake tits and more plastic surgery. So$70 ,000, emergency fund. Now we can't pay our mortgage. And it got fake tits. That's what you did with your emergency fund fake tits? Yeah. Did you BBL? I mean, not then. You have a BBL? I mean, where else would that come from? The thick thighs. Oh my f***, I see it in your face now. Now I see it. You got them fake lips. Finding a doctor you actually like? Well, I need one for my injuries. Ignore that. But it's like finding a dollar in your winter coat.

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46:33Search by specialty or symptom. Check out verified patient reviews so you don't end up with the doctor equivalent of a DMV clerk. Book instantly with real-time availability, no phone tag. It's what I use if I need to book a doc fast, and I do. So stop putting off those appointments and go to ZocDoc.com slash Caleb to book a doctor you'll love today. That is Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash Caleb. ZocDoc.com slash Caleb. Thanks to ZocDoc for sponsoring this episode. Let's get back to the show. That's kind of stupid. I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money.

47:08Free money. We like free money. You can get up to$350 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for time. Get that$350 right now in your checking account. No. Injections. Injections. It's been a bit. You got something. There's something happening. Nothing here. These have been. There's something going on. Just a smile. Botox?

47:45No, I stopped in March. I'm on a budget. Look, see? Ah! Yeah. BBL in Columbia. Only two grand. Very affordable. In where? In Columbia. You went to Columbia? Yeah, I used to live there. Mm-hmm. What are you? You're everywhere. This is so confusing. And yet all of this, blowing our emergency fund on it, even if it's cheap, you blow your emergency fund on it. And then now you're four payments behind on a mortgage. What the f*** are we doing? Wait, you went to Turkey in March this year, when you're contracted for lipo? You're not fat. They wouldn't do it. Were you fat? Yeah. Well, I'm a little bit lighter, but they actually wouldn't do it.

48:23They said I just need to lose weight. Well, yes. Yeah, but look, see? I'm sad. That's what you wanted life of? Yeah. Turkey wouldn't do it? No. I went with a friend to accompany her for a nose job. So she got that done. What is the circle you're in? You're in the just fake. You're fake. This is, again, why I refuse to reproduce with people like you. What you think is natural is not natural, sir. Exactly. Well, actually, my girlfriend's all natural.

48:54She's a select few. No, I'm just saying, I wouldn't have sex. I wouldn't reproduce to someone like you because the child is going to come out ugly. Oh, that's pretty harsh. No, because you oftentimes all these people that are super fake, they came from something that wasn't that great that you're hiding, which means the DNA is not. Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney+. Let's go. Get ready for a new case. We're the greatest partners of all time. New friends. Gary Death Snake. And your last name? Death Snake. Dream Team. New habitats. Zootopia has a secret reptile population. You can watch the record-breaking phenomenon at home.

49:30Zootopia 2, now available on Disney Plus Rated PG. Right now, you can get Disney Plus and Hulu for just$4.99 a month for three months with a special limited time offer ends March 24th. After three months, plan auto renews and$12.99 a month terms apply. It's going to be fixed. But looking at me, you wouldn't go, she looks fake. You have etched abs? Yeah, but looking at me. Wait, wait, wait. You have fake abs? Yes. But looking at me, I have a natural look, right? Can we see them? No. Yeah. Can we put the picture on screen? Yeah. Okay. You want me to pull it up? Oh, you have it from Instagram. I have one from Instagram.

50:05Okay. Oh, I got to see this. What did you spend on fake abs? No, that was included. The BBL is you get the etched abs and they put it in the behind. What is happening? What is happening? Why do you want to live this way? You do your emergency fund on all this fake bodily shit and now you can't pay your mortgage and you're four months behind. Yes. But that's why there's mortgage assistance. BBL over mortgage. Mortgage assistance programs are meant for this. What? You make so much money. How do you qualify for a mortgage assistance program? It's just how it works. Do you? What's their mortgage assistance program?

50:37I actually have the paperwork downstairs. What is it? What have you signed up for? So you just like, you call the bank and you're like, hey, I can't pay. And this is my situation. I'm unemployed. And then they go back and look at it. And then while they're looking at it, you actually don't have to pay for 60 days because they're reviewing your account. Oh my. But you're on like 120. What do you mean? Days. Yeah. Well, no. Okay, so then you enter into the mortgage assistance program, and there's a few options, and then they give you a trial period. So then I— Well, here's the fake abs. How do you look?

51:07What do you think? Why? I don't get it. It looks fantastic. Which picture did you show them? The red bikini. Oh, yeah. I was a little thinner then. That was, what, four years ago, five years ago? So how do fake abs work with getting fat? Well, I think that's going to be an issue when I'm pregnant, right? Like, you're basically going to have abs over your— Are you doing that? I mean, not at this moment. Don't you, aren't you tick, tick, clack, clack? Yeah, but it's more of in modern times. You know, down in Argentina, they don't have kids to 40s. Are they somewhere? Are they? The eggs? No, I don't believe in that.

51:34But. Hey, I'm going to come back pregnant. I hear you. I live a healthy lifestyle. And also, but. I don't know, everything's fake. I don't think that it affects reproduction. No, we don't know what is, what you have done that is healthy versus what you have done that has been like taken out and implemented and. Okay. And who the f*** are you reproducing with? Because this guy just keeps coming and going, and he already has someone now, so. Wasn't it, what's his name, Brian? Brian, who's going to be my? Come on over, Brian. Yeah. So my dad's around to$700 ,000. Here's Brian, her future reproduction.

52:12Oh, interesting. Hi, Brian. Hello. How are you? Doing great. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. He's a handsome guy, isn't he? Hey, you're pretty cute. Thank you. See, you don't feel uncomfortable anymore now, do you? 5 '11". Oh, I'm into that. Six feet on a good day? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I love that. Yeah, we're a platform for you. Thank you. Look at her now. Remember when she was a victim who was uncomfortable earlier? Remember when it was disgusting? I know. And he's going to pay off my debt. Actually, can we, I would love to raise money from the audience. No. Please help me. I will literally murder you before I ever allow that to happen.

52:43Literally murder you. I have good intentions. Disagree. Okay, so let's see. And the house is a 7 % rate. It's not great. I had a buy down. You bought down to seven? The seller paid for it. Okay, so... It was a 2-1 buy down. When did you get this house? May of 2024. Why did you say it like you're... I don't know. $596 ,161.96. With a normal minimum of the payment of$5 ,836.89, you owe$23 ,300 to catch up. Yes. But I finished the mortgage modification. I made it to the trial. So right now, they will put that debt at the back of the loan. This is so stupid. So you're going to pay more in interest.

53:31All for BBLs and fake tits. Well done, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Our culture is incredible. The future of civilization is. But you're telling me I can move back in? I can move back into the house? You can afford it with your money. You are, unfortunately, an absolute mess and disaster. So I don't know. We need to look at the rest of this. What is this? What am I looking at? That's the patient five. That's what I owe for the boobs. They're financed tits. Only half. They're financed. One was paid. I paid half. That's the other half. And if you default on this, do they take it back? I don't know.

54:09And you just have one dangling? I'd have to call. I don't think Brandon will do it if it's just one. He loves fake tits. Oh, my gosh. He is just the biggest. Mine looks so natural, so it might not be his style. We don't know, and I also don't believe you. I've only been with, I think, three or four fakes. Yeah. Because I really don't go for that traditionally. And I've never liked any of them. Fair. Even the cancer one. Sorry. Sorry about that. What? People get cancer. Fair. That would be really sad. Yeah. So this is boobs. Yes, sir. So boobs, what interest rate are boobs? Oh, I have no idea. Why didn't you click the details tab of the screenshot that you sent me?

54:54It was interest-free. Are you able to pull this stuff on your phone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I want you to click details. I thought about paying it yesterday, and then I just, why? Well, you're buying a new mortgage. You're a dumb actual beast of a creature. You mean? No, this is insane. Like, this is absolutely insane. $192.50 payment on one tit a month. You owe$6 ,038. Paid$1 ,000 so far. It's so fucking stupid. This is ridiculous. Okay, I've got it open. You want to look at it? I don't even know where to look. Just push the detail button, you absolute insane animal. I'm looking. Billing statement?

55:42They don't make it easy, I swear. I'm excited for us to show this Airbnb in the post show. and Lindsay, myself, and the cameraman will leave and allow Brandon to stay there with you. Wow. Only after the payment's made on my debt. That'll be in the post-show. I'm requesting 20 grand. Give me. I don't know where to find the interest rate. Just give it to me. Okay. Lady. I have the dock open. They don't have it listed. Are you a natural blonde? Because you're acting like it. No, look at this. I haven't had it colored in months. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how you're being such a stupid.

56:21We are looking. Why can you not give it to me? I don't see it. It's literally not on here. Oh, ooh, ooh. I found it. 17%. 17 % out of single tits. Out of single titty.

56:42They're not even on display. What's the point? 17 % and they're hidden. It's like, what are we even doing? If I had a 17 % interest rate on my tits, they would be everywhere. They would be everywhere. Instead, guys, these are just free. I think I need a new career. I'm not saying people will pay for it. You chose to do that yourself, lady. Yeah. It's pretty low.

57:09I guess she brought another outfit She brought another outfit just in case, a tube top. I don't even know what that means. But just in case she wanted to boob it out. I thought it would help donations. Cute donations. Fuck you. Fuck you donations. Imagine having a 17 % debt on a singular tit. Hey, at least I paid for the other one. You know, I own one. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

57:43Plan M card. What is going on with this? This is insane. Nothing's been going on since April. April? You've had a good... You make so much f***ing money. You privileged... What is wrong with you? People are out there struggling. You make so much f***ing money doing so many things and you just... You are... There is something seriously wrong with you as an individual. It's on a payment plan. I feel brilliant. You said nothing's happened since... Yeah, so I figured out that you can call and you were like, I'm broke. I can't pay. You're not though. You're not. And then they lower the interest and they give you like X amount of time so that you, to pay it off.

58:18Until that interest goes back up again, huh? Yeah, I brought it with me. I can't wait to use it again. It's a 10%. It's not good. It is obviously better than the like 25 % that it would be. Because I've already had it shut down once before. Shut down once before and you reopened? Yeah, finally. They let me. What is wrong with you? Why do you need this? Why do you need to be a credit card person? You're not. You're a moron. And you can't do... What are you doing? It's for the points. The lounge. What does a program manager do? We, um, we shepherd... Because you seem actually stupid. Thank you. I really appreciate that.

58:51That actually helps me do my job better. Being a program manager? Yeah. What do you do? No, but the dumber I seem, right, the better my job goes. How many did you start to get this job? Zero, actually. I only applied 40 times. Well, yeah, that's normal. Yeah. Okay, yeah, what do you do on a day-to-day basis? Well, I'm responsible for two things. So I'm helping a new feature launch on the app, right? And then the second part of my job is change management. So I'm helping change an entire org. They trust you with this? Yeah, yeah. They don't have any idea about this. But on the outside, it looks great, right?

59:28I own an Airbnb. I used to have an Airbnb community that you said is nothing. I guess. Yeah.

59:37hopefully I get a job at the end of this yeah I hope obviously I hope I don't want you to f***ing die but my goodness like this is insane you make such a good income yet you do all this is so stupid why am I broke? huh? why am I broke? have you heard this conversation so far? yeah I heard what I wanted to you are not a credit card person you don't need to use a credit card use the FIS card it's the debit card that builds credit you can't spend more than that's in your checking account What the f*** is going on? This makes no sense. It was such a big deal that that was like, I had no limit before it was locked.

1:00:12Yeah. Is it locked now? Oh, yeah. Good, you can't spin on it. Thank f***. Yeah, now there's a limit. This is insane. Just$13 ,721.56, minimum fee payment$3.79. Four years to pay off minimum fee payments only. Surprise. What? When you were in Turkey, they didn't even do the surgery, but she spent$5 ,000 on the presidential suite? Yeah, my friend was recovering and her provided free hotel by the airport was a dump. And I was like, you know. It's turkey, no shit. I was like, fuck it. Let's just stay somewhere freaking nice. I know, it was so expensive and we still had to share a bed. We didn't even get our own rooms.

1:00:50So, no free breakfast either. But, you know, we did get like a bottle of champagne and late checkout. Oh, whoa. It was worth it. Late checkout. Oh, bottle of champagne to enjoy when you watch the next coup happen. Her nose looks great. Yeah, and now she's going to reproduce, and the child that comes out is going to have a f***ed up nose. That's an interesting way to look at it. Can't the child just get a nose job too? It's fake. You're setting up your potential mating partner for fake DNA. You're an uggo. Okay, maybe his genetics, future him, Brian's, genetics will be stronger than mine, and they'll get his nose.

1:01:29Your nose isn't bad. Yeah. But I'm just saying if there's an ugly person and they become completely fake, what they produce is still going to be ugly. But that's why we make more money to be able to fix it. Bumping the nose isn't fake. If you got full Jew nose, like, it's not like that's necessarily a bad thing. Yeah. I don't think so. In fact, have you seen the Jews? Oh, yeah. Dude, their tits are incredible. Like, ladies and gentlemen, gunners out there, unless you're like chronically online. and you like despise the Jews right now. It's like, go look at those tits. I dated a bunch of them, but I could never get them to like propose to me.

1:02:06Why do you call them them? Oh, excuse me. I have dated a few Jews in my time. But then we would, I actually walked out on a guy once. I had this boyfriend and he didn't want to pay the 50 cents for the avocado. So I literally ordered the avocado and took my meal out and left him there. Well, I don't know about Jewish guys, but Jewish girls got the titties. And the beautiful curly hair. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I missed out on the gene pool. I'm half Samoan. Yes, you keep going back to a Mexican guy. Yeah, my dad's Samoan. Turn over again. That already has other people. Yeah, this card's f***ed, dude.

1:02:43And a shit ton of fees this year so far. $833 ,000 and$2 ,000 of interest. Wow. I didn't even know. Oh, man. You know, I didn't even think about this. Because here's the reality. because I make jokes about every group, and sometimes the Jews are included in that group because I make fun of every group, but I just complimented them so much. Are you Jewish? No. Girlfriend? No. But I just complimented them instead of making fun of them, talking about how good their tits are. Usually creators get paid to talk good about the Jews. I didn't even collect a check to say that. That's such a missed opportunity.

1:03:21We should reach out to the Jews. Jews, if you hear this, Business at Calebhammer.com. I will take the check and I will congratulate your tits even more. Shishkos. I don't know what that meant. It's like white girl. Do they like the white girls? Not to marry. The f***. Move on. I don't know what they do these days. Apple. What are you doing with the Apple? $3 ,051.05. Okay, with minimum fee payment$103. I haven't been able to use that in months. Good. Why not able to? I haven't had the money to pay it down. Well, that's bad. But why, so why do you think to use it? Why is it like an exciting thing to you to be able to use it?

1:04:07The moment you put any money towards it, you spend it. Why? Why is it so exciting? I don't know. Like I just, that one was usually like all my set expenses. And I'm up until like April, May when reality came crashing down as I moved out of my house in three hours. yeah I just had a lot you stayed at your house in three hours? yeah like I basically I put it live and within three hours I got a booking for six weeks and I got$6 ,800 and I was going to actually be able to cover the mortgage but instead of paying it I kept the money why? I don't know I didn't know when I was going to get another I didn't know when another amount of money was going to come in I don't understand how long do you think this takes a payoff if you only make minimum payments only and don't purchase which you're incapable of both of those things but how long?

1:04:50Three years, four years. Okay, 15 years. What are you going to be like 90? Yeah. It's not that much. It's 35. And you rented a car? Do you not have a car? How'd you get here today? I live alone. I have a loan on a car. Why do I see budget rent a car for$96? Now at the Home Depot, receive 12 months special financing and free basic installation on carpet projects with LifeProof, LifeProof with PetProof technology, home decorators collection, and Traffic Master carpets. Bring a new look to your floors. Or give them a durable surface that stands up to life's tough messes. Get 12-month special financing on installed carpet projects right now at The Home Depot.

1:05:28Offer valid March 12th through March 29th, 2026. Exclusions and additional charges may apply. For licenses, see homedepot.com slash license numbers. There was a wedding. The girl who got the nose job this summer, I had to make it to her wedding. I actually financed those. That's why she got the nose job, so she could get married. What's that finance? Aftercare? What is it called? when you, when you, I had to finance the budget rental on that, the after pay app or whatever it's called. Why do I see it on here? I think that was only part of it. That was like the, the down payment for it, right? Yeah.

1:05:58I had to make sure that I had enough budgets at the airport. They put a down payment on debt. Well, no, the down payment on the rental. The Apple Card is debt. You use debt for the down payment. I took, that was a few declines to get that to work. Show me your after pay. Oh, well, I know it's all paid off now. Wait, Let's see. What is it even called? It's in my wallet. What? And you're also just on, you've got 150 Amazon transactions this year so far. That was only till March? Insane. 150 till March? January to March? 150 transactions on Amazon? You are one girl amplified to the max. Okay, I'm being good.

1:06:39I'm not even signed into my affirm. Yeah, but pull up your Amazon. Oh, Amazon. Ooh. Hey, that's supplies. Do you cream every time pumpkin spice lattes are announced on a yearly basis? No, that is not my flavor. What's your flavor? Caramel. Available year-round. Not a seasonal girl. Okay. Okay, I've got Amazon up. Where do you want me to go? To my hand. Okay. Hey, business prime. Because I'm a business owner. Shut the f*** up. Are you close? Yeah. Want to know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an only ****. You're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going.

1:07:23If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck. That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use DollarWise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending, subscriptions, and savings all in one simple dashboard. Everything you need and nothing you don't and when you download dollar wise today you'll get to try it for free plus three months for just 9.99 so you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back click below to get started starbucks is and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest so now you need to do that with your energy drink as well Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving.

1:08:07And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it. Or 10 % off your order at gamersubs.gg. Or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. We already have eight things in the cart. let's see hey a$300 toothbrush a$300 toothbrush they're good sure do you need$300 oh and a$200 toothbrush I couldn't decide a sauna blanket towel thing another one I guess we're comparing them a large outdoor light Christian S.

1:08:55Light blonde hair dot okay let's see what the fuck your words are this is all bullshit it's all stupid so moronic Amazon ad free for Prime Video was purchased there. What the fuck is this? What even is this that was purchased? It has an ID. Prime Video membership. Three in one day. Okay, well that thing was return, return, return. Okay, we got wired earbuds. We got some throw pillows. A journal. Makeup remover. I mean, that's fine. Suds oxygen whitener. Well, I guess you got your$300 toothbrush for that. I don't know how this is going to... Hydrogen peroxide. Yeah. Ultra concentrated bleach tablets.

1:09:43More throw pillows. Total paper. Garbage bags. These are okay, except more throw pillows. We're just getting throw pillows every five seconds. Well, you're going to see it when you go to the house. Oh, fuck. Helps increase the rental. Cool thing. Mm-hmm. So new box magnetic, iPhone, bullshit, dumbassery, light bulbs. Okay, it's a lot of shit for the house, yeah, which is so expensive. Yeah, just financed a new phone. Coffee. That phone you're on is new. Needed a case.

1:10:12What is it? It's just an iPhone, but it's not even anything good. Same thing. No. Yeah, same, same. Smaller. Oh, it's, yeah, one you got smaller, so this is certainly not the, what is it? What is this? What model phone do you have? 17 Pro-ish? You got the Pro. You got the small micro dick Pro. Okay, you got the micro dick Pro. And then you immediately rumored it with a phone case. It's just like, what's the point of even, you should have a phone case. Well, your income, you actually don't. Yeah, it's just so much shit. Endless, endless. Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Because this house is way too expensive, you spend thousands on Amazon.

1:10:48Yeah. But it's for supplies. I split it up. Okay, Sapphire Preferred, what's going on? Sapphire Preferred, same. It's been locked since May. What? No, there's$400 of purchases, you absolute beast. No. Yeah. I did the same payment program. Lies. No, really? Lies. Not true. Lies. $400 of purchases. Must be interest. Oh my gosh. It's not even purchases, it's worse. Is it interest? No. No, what is it? Oh, what is it? Don't tell me. It's two return payments because you didn't have enough money and you're checking it out when your payments hit. Yeah. Two returned payments. No way. Can I see that? You are a f***ing disaster.

1:11:29Quarter million dollars a year plus more. Homeowner. Less positioned beyond belief. And you're destroying it. My credit took a hit. What the f*** is wrong with you? You owe on this$5 ,672.57. The minimum monthly payment of$132. But I put it in a payment plan. You're over the limit to$72.57. $0.16. $0.16. $0.16 this year. $533 of interest. Here's the return payment fees. Can I see that? Yes. Ooh. Ooh. I got to make a call. Make a call and see if I can get that back. No, the return payment fees. They're not late fees. They're return payment. You're f***ing. Yeah, total fees. Dang. It doesn't look good with the mortgage behind.

1:12:15Yeah, maybe I'll get you an accounting certification through course of careers. Because listen, you don't even need the certifications for your job because you're already in the place everyone's trying to get to. Most people get the course career certifications to get to the place you're getting. But I'll get you an accounting one because you're broken. You don't know how to do anything numbers related. You know, I have a finance degree. I have a finance degree. We're not going to talk about it.

1:12:41USAA Visa card. What is going on? That's fine. It was$1 ,613.50. That's the only card that's open. It has a$500 limit. that I'm able to use. Okay, you're at$299 because you put some money towards it once you've purchased on it. Takes two years to pay that off,$18, minimum monthly payment. What are we doing here? Task robbery C, you're task-rabbiting people. Tiff treats cookies. PBC Hayward. That's for the rental. It's for the rental. We give cookies after every stay. You can't afford the rental. You're already losing on the rental. You told me, my house sucks. Well, you got to give cookies so then they don't think about how bad the house is.

1:13:20You put it right before the review. You shouldn't have gotten a shitty house. Magic helpers, magic helpers. These are all the cleaners? Yeah. Oh, my dick. Workshop, Amazon. Going in against bullshit. Amazon, return payment fee. Two cards in a row. I don't know how you're going to survive. I was ambitious that I could pay it. You're giving up everything. You're giving up your entire... It's ambitious that I tried to pay. Is this a utility payment? What am I seeing here? I see utility news. That's bad. What is this? What is this? What is this possibly? What is this? I owe$2 ,200 to Austin Electric.

1:13:55How? You make so much money! Oh, how do you know? We were trying to grow grass at the Airbnb, and then they left the water on, and now it was like$800 one month, and then almost$900 or something the next month, and things just add up. But now I'm on a payment plan. I only have to pay$36 back a month, plus my normal bill. Oh. Oh. I think that's interest-free.

1:14:26You owe them$2 ,761.76. $500 more than I thought. Yeah. Yeah, you f***ing tit. Yeah. And what? You have a payment on it of$642? Yeah, yeah. Ah,$642.06. I've never had awesome f***ing energy here. What, you want to buy more Airbnbs? You can't even afford your electric. Hey. You can't even forge your own utilities that's happening right now. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I have dreams. Big dream? You want to do all this shit. You don't know how to do anything. You don't know how to do anything. Personal finance is easy, right? I know how to do the hard part.

1:15:05Just don't leave for this. Yeah, budgeting. Budgeting is easy. You're not. So how the fuck do you think you can do the hard stuff? I think I can figure it out. What? You can't even figure out the easy stuff. How can you do the hard stuff? It's all going to work out. Listen, your Airbnb is literally losing money and you want to get more Airbnbs? What? Yeah. How does that logic make sense? Please. It just does. I've studied this for years. Tell me. Tell me how it makes sense. I've studied this for years. You study it, yet yours loses money. So please tell me how you make sense to get more. Okay.

1:15:31I think that when the market changes in Austin and when they require a license, it's not going to be as heavy of competition, right? When the market changes in Austin, is that a city council required thing? Yes, it happens in July. I wouldn't rely on that. They have to vote on it. It's already done. You have to get a license and then come July, Airbnb will pull down everything. Every listing that's not licensed is done. It's happening. Oh, okay. So more regulation. And so there's out of 13 ,000 in Austin, there's only 2 ,000 that are licensed. So I know there's going to be a little bit of an increase.

1:16:01Won't everyone just license up? No, they're going to cap it. They haven't said what the cap is, but it's going to be much less. I estimate five. Who's capping, Austin? Yeah, Austin. Oh, so you're relying on that. Who knows? Why do you think you'll be in the cap? Well, I already applied for the license. Have you been given the license? No, but I applied for it. And there's still availability in my zip code. And so I just have this vision. If I can get all this debt paid off. You had a return payment fee on your utility as well. Hey, I'm ambitious. At least I tried to pay. Ambitious three in a row.

1:16:32Tried to pay. You don't have enough money in checking account. You think you're going to buy more real estate? You're broken. You're broken. You're dead. You're broken. That counts. Shut the fuck up. You're done. You're done. I don't understand. I don't understand how your brain works. You try to do all these ambitious entrepreneurial things, but you can't for your life do anything correct ever. What is one thing you've done well? Done well? Try? No, your trying has been horrible. You have failed everything you've tried. Okay, but at least I did it. No, you haven't. You're failing. I don't give a shit.

1:17:05At least I have that life experience. I think you're a f*** you. Look what your life experience has lasted to. $770 ,263 ,012 cents a debt. I hear you, but I know I can pay it off. I know how to make money. Girl, you're getting return payment fees on the last three accounts so far. You know you can pay it off. F*** you. That is you not paying it. But I made a drastic change. I live in this shitty shithole box apartment. When was that? I moved in in August. Okay. Listen, we're in November. I tried, but I'm trying. I'm trying. No. Trying without any results is not a high five. F*** you. Your trying is failing, meaning you're wrong.

1:17:41You're broken. You can't do anything correct. Okay. If you're trying to quit meth and you can't get off meth You're not getting a high five for getting off meth Maybe I need to go to like Alcoholics Anonymous or Money Addicts Anonymous You have a group you can point me to You just have to budget You're trying to do everything other than What is the basic necessity That is it But that's like how I was taught I don't give a fuck how you're taught I was taught wrong too I was taught the moment I turned 18 to go max out a credit card to get a piano That doesn't mean I'm gonna be in When I'm 37 in seven years, I'm going to still be doing that.

1:18:15You've had a lot of year in adulthood, almost two decades now of adulthood, that you could have been figuring that. My dad became a doctor. He decided to go to med school at 30. I don't give a f***. That means nothing. But that means that at any moment, I can do something new with my life. Like, whatever I believe, I can turn it around. Sure, but you're just waiting. You're 30. He did that at 30. You're 37. Yeah, he didn't become a doctor or physician until 43. Oh, but he went there. You're not doing anything. You're just trying to race to wealth. You're not doing the minimum required thing, which is just budgeting.

1:18:44But at least I tried. You know? Okay, three failed companies, but at least I tried. Three failed companies? Yeah. I had a sandal company. I had an app that I got funded. What an app? Yeah. What was your app? It was called No Days Off. You can still see the book on Amazon. It's still for sale, but I got into it. A book? It was a book that then we got raised funds at an incubator. What does the app do? Well, that app failed. What did it do? It was like, remember P90X? It was like that, but with like a new train or a new program. Not a saturated market by any means. Yeah, you know, I had hopes and dreams.

1:19:18How much did you raise from the incubator? At least$40 ,000. Not that much, but back in 2015, that was a lot. So it was like the up and coming of apps. Yeah. At least I tried. Yeah, I was going to, yeah. At least you fucking tried. I made some really good standards. Shut the fuck up. At least you tried. Okay. Okay. And what was the third company? It was Sandals. So I said Sandals. No, Sandals app. Sandals app and then the Airbnb, like being a realtor. But you're trying to do more Airbnbs. Yeah. You said three have failed, meaning you recognize that it has failed. How are you trying to do more?

1:19:54There was more, there was an Amazon product business. How do you even have a Sandals company? What is the Sandals company? What are you doing? It was called Barão. Barão? Yeah, summer in Portuguese for worldly people. I went to grad school by force of my father. I was that's another story but it was my thesis project so I overtook all my student loans during my MBA and I moved to Portugal and and used all that money to start a sandal company hey I had it for like four years it worked what did you spend on the sandal company oh I couldn't even tell you my parents gave me money 150 to 200 ,000 what age did you do that at I was 28 no 26 27 like 27 to 31 okay well call it to 31 then yeah so let's see at that point to get to 65 at 31 would be 34 years old let's call that retirement $200 ,000 is what you spend do an 8 % conservative market return to zero dollars at an annual basis, you lost yourself$3 million at retirement.

1:21:12The experience was worth it. Wait, you still owe the factories? Yeah. And that's worth it? No, it's not worth it. It was worth$3 million and you lost that. But that's the experience. No. That's worth more than the$3 million. No, because the experience would be worth it if you weren't replicating it today, but you are. So clearly you didn't learn anything from that experience, meaning you are actually even worse off. So f*** you. You can't just use that as a cope. F*** you. You did not learn from the experience. You're broken. You're wrong. You're destroyed. No. Wasn't that why I'm here? No, no, no.

1:21:42They're nice sandals. I have a few pairs. Anybody want some? Do you even have them here? No. Sorry. It's not polite. Bring some to the Airbnb. We'll see her special sandals. And on the Amazon purchases. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is so good. You have student loans. That's the grad school I talked about. That paid for the sandals. You are ruined. Now, I think I know multiple reasons why no one's willing to reproduce with you. Look how insane this is. $118 ,021.59. $118 ,021.59. And what was your grad school? It was more like a— It was a— Oh, she's passed due on her student loans. I got a— No.

1:22:31I'm up to date. No. Is that past due? Yeah. What month is that? November? That's a f*** up your past due. You usually owe 276. Yeah, nothing. Any cents. Mm-hmm. Which, by the way, with that payment, it's going to take an eternity to pay this off. You're never going to pay it off. Because your minimum payment should be about$1 ,500 to pay it off in 10 years. $1 ,500. This will be paid off when you die, I guess. In my mystery land, I thought I'd use equity to pay it all at once.

1:23:04What was grad school? Grad school was awesome. My dad actually... What did you study and where, you absolute fucking beast? No, my dad applied for me. That's not my question. I studied an MBA. Are you seriously stupid? MBA. You have an MBA? Mm-hmm. From Sorbonne. It's a really cool program. From where? Three different schools. So one in Brazil, one in France, and then Georgia State. France, they don't know business to save their life. They have like a 10 % unemployment rate. France? What are you learning from France? How to f*** a country and destroy a civilization? France is done by the time we're in our 60s.

1:23:42And smoke cigarettes. Yeah. They know how to dress. Come on. That's all they focus on. Yeah. Can't do shit. They have a completely collapsing population. Everything's ruined and they have no productivity. Yeah. And anytime they tried to actually change their social program, structures to give them any kind of longevity as a civilization. They protest, burn things down and then they can't make any changes. Yeah, that's where you're getting an MBA? I would fire you the moment I learned that. Strong opinion there. It's not an opinion that is math. That is what is happening in that country. It's impossible to have an opinion on a fact.

1:24:14It is a fact. Hmm. Okay. You ever been there? Yes. Okay.

1:24:24Okay. Yeah. That's all I got? That's all I got for you. Well done. I don't agree with your opinion, but we'll leave it there. It's not an opinion. Oh, sorry, your fact. Well, yes. Their productivity has stagnated for years. They have to borrow to pay for their social safety nets. They have a declining population. They can't pay for their things. It is mathematically likely to turn into what the UK is right now within about two decades. And by the time we are retired, France today will not be what France has been known the past hundred years. That is not an opinion. Okay. But they live, they're happy.

1:25:00They live different lives. They're happy right now because they're funding it all with debt. Their debt to income ratio is 110%. Debt to GDP ratio. Now we're able to do that in the United States because no one's going to f*** with us. World Reserve currency. No one's going to f*** with us. France, they can't maintain that. That's going to be the, they're going to be the new Greece. They're going to have to get a bailout from the UK, from the European Union. But an economy that is like the third largest or second largest in the EU compared to Greece, it's going to destroy the whole thing. Good luck.

1:25:31Yes, they're happy now because they're funding it all in debt. They're not going to be happy when they can't pay for it anymore and the whole social safety net collapses. They're 10-week vacation. That's what happens with the UK right now. Now they can't afford any of it anymore. It's completely destroyed. They're having a brain drain in every way possible. All skilled people are leaving. Unskilled are coming in. They can't afford shit. And now the NHS is being absolutely destroyed. A social program that makes them happy now is not funded and you're medically. Worse care. worse cancer care there than many places in South America in the UK right now that's what happens happy?

1:26:01f*** you it won't be happy in about 20 years it doesn't work so good so good so good Spring Styles are at Nordstrom Rack stores now and they're up to 60 % off stock up and save on Rag & Bone Madewell Vince All Saints and more of your favorites how did I not know Rack has Adidas? why do we rack? for the hottest deals just so many good brands Join the Nordic Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. What is this$26 ,510.68 of loan balance with Credit Union of Texas?

1:26:43It's a nice car, that's what it is. Oh, f***. Yeah, you know, I was a new realtor and I wanted a drop-top Mercedes convertible. Oh, you're the worst. I had to paint the image. Mercedes? Mercedes what? It's outside. It's only 2018, but it looks nice. Night edition. All black. Yeah. What do you think it's worth? Nothing. 20 grand? 23. So at least your negative equity is only a few thousand. You're actually kind of lucky on that. In fact, what I would do if you're really trying to speed this up is sell it, borrow the difference, and get a$10 ,000 car on debt. That's what I would do. You don't do any realtor stuff anyway, so it doesn't fucking matter.

1:27:20Shut the fuck up.

1:27:25the house and the car you can't touch no no why are we having this conversation if you're not willing to make any sacrifices I don't get it you're not willing to do anything you know you have a problem you try to do quick get rich quick and not make any sacrifices not willing to get rid of things that you like in order to live a better life you're going to be f***ed forever you're a disaster you are a literal walking disaster and no shit no one's willing to settle down with you. Are you surprised I'm not? Maybe I just need to make more, right? No, dude, you already make a quarter million. You make a quarter million.

1:28:01You make three times the median. Let's make 400k. And then I can support this. I have a newer car. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. You make three times the median household income in the United States. You are worse off than the median household in the United States. Because if you make more, if you get a 10 % raise, you will raise your spending by 15%. That is how people like, yes, you can't say no. You make a quarter million dollars, if not more, and you have f***ed it. Your mortgage is a third of your net income, and yet you f***ed it. This is all, no, no, you cannot earn your way out of this.

1:28:36You are ruined. You are ruined. And you're not willing to sacrifice to do shit. You're not willing to get rid of a car that's honestly not even that nice. I'm in the shithole apartment, though. You know, that's a sacrifice. Kind of, but that was just so you can keep your house because you're not willing to sacrifice your house. Yeah. So that's not a sacrifice in my book. So the car's got to go, huh? It's a way to get there quicker. What's your minimum monthly payment on this car? Because I can't even find it. It's$590. Yeah,$590. I bought it during COVID where you didn't have to pay for the first six months.

1:29:11No, your interest rate is fine at 3.4%. Yeah. But the thing is, it's a late charge late. Too late. They gave me a month off back in August. A no payment. A quarter million dollars and nothing. See, I'm getting ahead. You've talked about your mother in the past tense. Is she not with us anymore? No, she's with us. And dad? Dad's here. They must be desperately disappointed. That's what the NBA was for. They're like, just go get this and you're not a problem. What? But you paid for it with your student loans. No, it was more than that. That school was almost$180,$190. They made me so. Do you have siblings?

1:29:49I have one brother. Oh, thank goodness. Please tell me he's doing okay. He's doing better. He's a. I'm glad they have something to lean on because you are the worst version of a child other than a drug addict. Because you're just, you're addicted to horrible ambition because you have ambition. That is not a bad thing, but you can't do shit. You can't figure shit out. You're not willing to do the minimum things that are required to do anything. You want to jump right to the end goal of being this massive Airbnb empire, But you can't do shit. Sandals? Fuck off. Fuck off, Sandals. I don't even remember the other thing you did.

1:30:22It was so stupid. And then real? Like, just fuck off. Okay. I mean, you're right to have your opinions. I still don't agree. Why? Why don't you agree? What is there going for you? For me, it all still comes back to the experience. Money's not everything. Experience is learning based on it and then putting in actions in the future. You haven't learned from anything. Look what you're doing today. You're not willing to give up your house. You're not willing to give up your car. F*** you experience. You haven't learned from any experiences. That's how they become valuable. Yours are not valuable because you're not doing shit.

1:30:53You're repeating the same mistakes over and over again for two decades now. I turned off the cards. I moved into a smaller apartment. That's compromised. No, you got the cards turned off on you because you're f***ed and maxed out. I called and I did it. Not all of them. The two. Yeah. And then you have late fees on all the other ones. Hey, at least I tried to pay. Tried. This word tried with you. You haven't tried shit. You. I don't see a way out. I really don't. If I don't get that job in January, I'm screwed. No. With the job, you're screwed. Without the job, you're f***ing. Hmm. That's all you're done?

1:31:26Okay. She's overdrafting on her checking account. $174 overdraft fee this year so far, making a quarter million dollars. I don't get this. I'm sorry. Travel, Customs Travel, Amazon. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my goodness. Coffee and eat. Zellin, Venmo-ing, Venmo-ing. Going in and getting some bullshit. What are you going in and getting some bullshit for a few dollars for when you stop somewhere? Like a gas station or an HEB. What are you getting? Snacks. Convenience. Stop. Buy in bulk. Beauty bar. Not helping you get laid. Venmo. Amazon. Amazon. Bullshit. Yeah, I had a vape problem. Medici coffee. You have a what?

1:32:08I had a vape problem. Had? Had. Had? It slowed down. We're on tactics Yeah, Medici, see? Nice Awesome I think I'm doing great How negative is that? You think you're doing great? How negative is it? You think you're doing great? Let me f*** you What am I doing here? What am I doing here? What am I doing here You think you're doing great? I wanted you to help me see F*** you You think you're doing great You're not willing to budge on anything You're not willing to sacrifice anything You're continuing your ambition of stupidity And being defensive about everything thinking your experiences have been actually worth it.

1:32:43You're not learning shit. You're not doing shit. You're a failure and you're disgusting as a human being making 250 ,000 hours a year. Other people can only dream of that. And yet you're destroying it. You're throwing it away and you're milking the system. You're going to use bankruptcy as a legal, as a legal offering that is there to actually help people. But you just lived up life and you're just going to throw it away. Throw it away. Abuse the system. Look at all bullshit spending, ladies and gentlemen, all bullshit spending. the Hampton social die. All bullshit spending. Oh, look at guys. Guys, look at all this.

1:33:19Look at all this. Can't be that bad. Shut the fuck up. I'm done. Look at all this. Bullclean. Fuck you. Monarch. Fuck you. Fuck you. Monarch, especially. Dollar wise is better. Fuck you. All this bullshit. All this bullshit. All this bullshit. Look at all. Look, guys. Just look at all this. What a joke. What a joke. What a joke. What a joke. Shut up. StubHub, just die. Look at all, guys. All this, all this, instead of actually paying her mortgage, she deserves to lose the house. I hope they take it from her. All this bullshit. She's not willing to change anything. All this bullshit. Spa, fuck you.

1:33:53Look at that. Smoke and vape. All this bullshit, guys. Another whole page. Nordsome, fuck you, die. Car wash, fuck you, die. Uber Eats, Uber Eats. Die, die, die, die, die, die, die. Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die. You're great. Oh, it keeps going. If I was dating someone, maybe he'd buy, cover the food. This is so fucking stupid. Look at all this bullshit. Look at all this stupid Nordstrom. I had to look good for work. I had to fly to San Francisco. 50 ,000 or Roth IRA at 60. That's not bad. Your income scale is disgusting. You are so far behind.

1:34:26You're so fucked. And you're not willing to sacrifice. And there is no point of me continuing this conversation or doing anything. Okay? Because you're just fucking done. You have no hope. You're a failure. You disgust me as a human being. I hope you do better. Good the fuck luck. I hope you, whatever. Well, listen, the post show is going to be looking at her Airbnb and I, oh, good. You actually owe tax money to, we'll talk about that in the post show because I'm so fucking done right now. Click that join button to join the post show. Three premium shows every single day. Hammer financial scores.

1:34:58Thank you. Fuck you. Hammer financial scores. All right. We starting fresh. Okay. Sorry. Hold on. I'll see you guys there. A Wingstop box has been sitting there. Don't ask me how I know that it's a Wingstop box. Oh, and the fully filled gutters, and the rotting pumpkin. Oh, because you don't live here. Who's spending all the time watering these plants? I have someone come and do it, and I pay a hundred bucks a month. You budget that in. I sure do. You spend money on that. No back neighbors. No black neighbors? No back neighbors. Oh, God. Okay. Join us Saturday, January 31st for Hammer Elite Day, A five-hour live stream featuring all of your favorite shows, but done live with you.

1:35:40See you there.

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