The Most INSANE Financial Audit Ever

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24:32That is Y-R-E-F-Y dot com slash hammer. Or call 888-YREFY78. That is 888-YREFY78. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. You suck with money. So you download a budgeting app. You start with the classic one, YNAB. But everyone just deletes it because it's way too complicated to use. So you go to EveryDollar. That's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rocket Money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end?

25:06Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like DollarWise. Built by these people just like you, for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download it now, start the free trial, dollawise.com, link in the description below. So it sounds like the original reason for my insecurities were true, that you did, you were seeking more intimacy and that was just hard to say. And to be very clear, until this very exact moment, his reasoning was still D &D.

25:48Yeah. Okay, why f*** I? Listen, hey, baby was born 16 months ago. You guys have had 12 time zones. Reasonable to say I am struggling with that. That is not an unreasonable thing. It doesn't mean pressuring the partner, but that is not an unreasonable thing to be having issues with. Why hold the lie of it was for D &D until right now? And you know how I know it was a lie? Because she confronted you, you immediately deleted it, and then you downloaded emoji the next day. And of - Today we helped a - Latte for Sam? Coffee shop get an insurance quote simply and easily, and made sure a floral delivery van was able to make someone's day.

26:29We're the Hartford, with decades of experience insuring millions of unique small businesses. When it comes to your small business insurance... Thank you. ...one size absolutely does not fit all. Get a quote or find an agent today at thehartford.com slash smallbusiness. ...the other AI relationship app that you paid for the next day after she called you out. Did you know that? I didn't know there was a second AI app. I know about the Ennochi one because I saw the subscription and then the add-on to his Play Store account. Because, again, the email was connected to the phone and I wanted to understand when the app was downloaded.

27:12A new generation begins. Evolved. Not just replaced. Incredible. Always on. Get the latest features and functionality. Well, that's Joanne from Your Girlfriend. Latest features and functionality. Interactive video stories. Endless choices. Make decisions for her. Like, I can understand that my, the medications that I was on at the time trying to guinea pig that shit. I get it. Yeah. I get it. And he can struggle with that. Give him permission to go fucking someone else or something. That's fine. I wouldn't want to do that. Yeah. Huh? We've had that talk. And? I was previously in a poly relationship and did not.

27:53We don't have to be poly. Right. Even open. And poly involves emotions. That's where I can get. Yeah. But still, if you ain't f***ing, the dude does gotta f***. You gotta kind of figure out your situation. And how often are people safely, like, having sex with others without getting confirmed tests and showing the results? Well, make sure you get them tested and show results. And when I offered an ultimatum before we got married and said... What was it? No lying. Well, yeah. Stop spending money that we don't have. Well, he's lying in every way whatsoever. He was lying until this exact moment that he was using it for D &D.

28:27And go to therapy, and most of it still has not happened, if not continuously. You haven't done anything? No. You made a child with her. You're not even following the therapy? You're not even following the... Okay, wow, Zuevin sent a dick emoji to Sarah, who is an AI Sarah. Did you like AI Sarah? Who said, if you sit on this lap because you don't have another choice... A little depressing. What? I mean, yeah, I guess she doesn't have a choice. She's AI. Can you video chat with these people? I don't know. I never did. Oh, I'm sorry. What did you just say? I'm just exploring emoji. Okay. I thought you were saying there was, like, messages between Bernie and someone else.

29:15I'm not in Bernie's account. I don't know what's happening. But honestly, I wouldn't be surprised. Hey, well, yeah, I mean, honestly, buddy. I mean, the pipe's being backed up. That is an actual—that can be an issue. How are you dealing with that? I mean, why won't you let her see inside your account? That is a concern. I thought they still had access to my Google. No, I told you the day that we had talked about you deleting the apps that I deleted the email as well. And then I saw that you had paid for that add-on or whatever, the Innochi, and I asked you what the hell it was, and you're like, oh, it's some just like pet feeding game or something like that.

29:58And I was like, hearing that it's a, what was it like? Soft, itchy anime pretty much. Huh? Ichi anime. I don't know. I don't know what this is. Like panty shots, not full like, not hentai. You come to panties? No. What I'm saying is hentai, full nudity, straight rock. Sure. And then there's soft, which is itchy anime or ecchi anime depending on. Yeah, it's just a thing. Bro, I don't know. I'm not like you guys. I just, I watch two people f*** or I f***. I keep it simple. Okay? Wait, you have a cup chair? I'm not f***ing, but that is fine. I was curious, man. Very good. I mean, there's something for everybody, I guess.

30:40Yeah, yeah. Everybody's got their flavor. I watch people have sex in p*** or I go f***. It's as easy as that. I don't know. You're against him watching p***? No, absolutely not. Oh, then what's the problem? We literally have DVDs that we could... That's weird. Well, I used to work in an adult store, so sometimes just collect. Still weird, just online. Okay, dude. Okay. What was my question that nobody answered? I think it was, so what are you doing? You're backed up. What's the solution here other than lying? Because that can't be the solution. Listen, I think open is something that is halfway decent, that I believe when surveyed, if I'm not mistaken, 99 % of people said they would actually be open to.

31:23They're just not willing to discuss with their partner. But the thing is, and if she's not down for it, then you can't, and that would be cheating then. So we're not talking about that. Okay, she's down for porn, but you're kind of meeting in the middle. You're talking to AI. And you won't let her in your account to see? If you downloaded it and logged back in, she could see. Why wouldn't you do that for her? I mean, I would pull it now. I don't have any on my phone. I said if you downloaded it and logged back in, she could see. Why not do that for her? I mean, you said you were using it for D &D.

31:58I don't even get to look at his bank accounts. Well, okay, so he hides stuff and AI stuff from you. Okay, now he hides finances as well. What does he hide there? Or at least of what you even think? I think one of the last times that we had done a budget talk, I had saw on his phone that He'd paid 20 bucks for a game on Nintendo. And I did overreact. I'm going to be honest, I did. I mean, that alone within, like, just a closed ecosystem, whatever, is not the end of the world. But I understand if it is just endlessly hiding purchases from each other when we're trying to make the household better, yeah, that would be f***ing.

32:38You overreacted. Why? I blew up. I was like, why the f*** are we spending$20 on Nintendo when we can't even, oh, I don't know, put gas in the car or get our kid diapers. Oh, come on. If we can't afford diapers, why are you buying video games, asshole? AI girlfriends in video games? What the fuck are we doing? Obviously, messing my life up. That's not an answer, guy. That's a bullshit answer. Can you answer a question? Give me an actual reason. You purchased Nintendo instead of putting diapers on the kid. Gas in the car. Why? I hadn't done anything for myself recently. I figured it'd be okay to spend$20 on a Nintendo game and play it for a little bit.

33:25And that's more important than the kid. I never said that. Nothing's more important than the kid. You did say it through your actions. If we're struggling to get diapers, which I don't know why we would in southern Indiana with 5 ,000 hours a month, why are we struggling to get diapers, by the way? But even still, well, I guess you wouldn't have much insight. I mean, I'm being told that literally when you guys are chatting about any serious topic, He will not sit next to you out of fear for you seeing his phone. Yes. Buddy. I mean, I couldn't stay with someone like that. I mean, that is egregious.

33:53I point it out. And? It's just the, ha ha, yeah, and then shrugs and laughs. So you can't even handle the conversations with her either. This is why honesty and going to therapy regularly was part of the whole idea. Maybe. Depends what kind of therapy. You might get enablement therapy. Well, he went to two sessions and then never went back. Okay, so that was another ultimatum she gave you. Hey, what's the point of giving ultimatums if you don't follow through with them? Right, and so after the beginning of the year, I circled back around. I was like, hey, how are we doing? How's the therapy? He said, well, I haven't been back because it was a religious facility that was offering it at a more discounted price for low-income families.

34:37Understandable, we appreciate it because he didn't have his insurance at the time. So now that he's finally been there over a year, he gets the insurance. And I go to his doctor's appointment with him because, you know, it was an off day. And we just went together because it's easier. Oh, okay, just one time. Yeah, yeah. I thought you meant in general. You have to go to his doctor's appointment. No, we had done some shopping at Costco and then went to his doctor's appointment together. So he had said that he was going to make sure that he got an email or a call with information. It was also on like the, oh, this was your visit information packet that they give after the visit.

35:09with the number and the email and all that stuff to reach out to the resource. Still, still, this was mid-January, beginning of February. I have been following up pretty regularly. When's your therapy appointment? When you got that scheduled? Oh, it's, I got a, nothing. I have not had a firm date. Do you have anything to say for yourself?

35:41I need a second. This is pathetic, buddy. You're going to run away from this conversation like you run away from every conversation you have with her? You haven't said anything. I feel horrible for her right now. I don't know if you're objectively a bad guy, but I think you might be bad in relationships. Listen, she hands you her phone, and you refuse to do the same. What are you hiding? I'm just, whenever I do something for my own purchases, I know I'm bad with money and I...

36:21Shame. Oh, shut the f***. What? That's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard in my f***ing life. What the f*** response is that? Shame. Shame. Shame. What are you even, how do you feel hearing this? I want to be understanding, but it's also - No, no, that's enablement. It is disappointing. Like, I get it. It sucks. Money is hard. I'm not good with money. I have had to learn this all on my fucking own. Are you guys a couple or not? Are you guys married or not? I don't care if something's hard. You have to work together. I want him to change. I cannot force him to change. No, but you can leave. and it might be better for your kid that you do.

37:09Six seconds. Why is he struggling? Nothing has happened. Nothing has happened yet. Bro has said five words. Why is he struggling? I want to answer for him, but I know I can't. You can't? Why? He's his own person. Oh, for f*** off. Come on, do you know him or not? I do, and I... Some of this weird boundary shit that's not even real. Shut the f*** up. Yeah. No. What is going on? He never faced the consequences of his life for anything, any responsibility, any growing the f*** up. Because the moment he's confronted one time, he breaks the f*** down, can't handle it, as he actively traveled across the country for a show that he's seen, a show that he's a fan of, a show that he got on board for, and he can't even handle it 36 minutes in?

37:55Something that he's been expecting for at least... What have you had? A couple weeks buildup coming on here? A week maybe? Yeah, the end of February. End of February to come on financial audit. He's had all this. 36 minutes into the conversation, he said like 10 words and he can't handle a little bit of pushback that he knew was coming. He's a coward. Are you going to deal with this for the rest of your life? No. I think you might because it sounds like I try to be understanding. No, you enable. And you're going to f*** your entire life and your kid's life because of it. I'm not saying he's objectively a bad person.

38:28I cannot assign that to him. but it might not be good for the relationship. Good people do bad things a lot. I can agree. Yeah, but he also won't change anything. Yeah. Anything. And that's why I gave him, you know, months before the wedding. I'm like, I, either you do these things to make the change or the marriage is off. I cannot financially and as a parent put. Here, the marriage is done. Now what? Okay. Okay, fine. When's the timeline? When's the, if nothing changes, I'm out. Okay, we're being told he's crying, according to Brandon. Which, I mean, okay, like, I'm sure, huh? That's rare. Whoa, what the f***?

39:12So someone called him on a s*** for the first time in his life? Has no one ever been around to call him on a s***? Everybody's too scared to. What? Too scared to? Why? He's a p***er. What's he going to do? I know that he seems intimidating to a lot of people. No? Right. Does he? He has like a gay tattoo. I don't know. What? I'm not intimidated by him. Right. And like, when I first met him, I wasn't. Why do people find him intimidating? So you know how like some dudes do the puff their chest? Yeah, that's, I see it a lot. And I know that's him putting the wall up. I can see it. I can feel it. It's the emotional barrier, like the bubble.

39:50I don't know. Oh my goodness. You guys just surround yourself with. I'm a fat. I can probably barely sprint across the room. but I am the least intimidated by him than anyone I've ever met. Plus it would help that our security guard would just shoot him in the face if he tried something. Oh, lovely. I mean, he would anyway. So no one's ever stood up and called him out of shit in his entire life. And the moment it happens, he breaks down into tears. Even though, again, I am very confused. He knows what show he's on. You guys have applied to be on the show that you both watch. Yeah, he's the one who got me into your show.

40:24What is the confusion here? How is he surprised? How is he breaking down right now? I don't want to make someone cry. I'm not going to bullshit someone. If he's hiding the AI girlfriend and he lied until the exact moment of the show where he finally admitted why he had it. If he's hiding his finances, he won't let you look at his phone. What else am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to tell him no, that's okay because everyone else in his life has told him that's okay? Did he expect anything different from me? He had to have expected I would call him on that, right? I mean, it was kind of like a set expectation that there is clarity.

40:55There needs to have that objective thing. I think sometimes it can catch someone off guard. Absolutely. But it is needed. Lindsay thinks he might be freaking out because he knows we haven't even scratched the surface of this conversation. Oh, lovely. Okay. We'll take a break. We'll get him back on. Okay, so we're in the middle of financial audit right now, as you guys see. This is the head of financial audit. We're currently in a break situation because the dude that is the fan of the show that got his wife on the show, I called him on a shit. Uh-huh. Barely. I barely even touched the surface.

41:28And he walked out of the room with Brandon and started bawling. I don't know what to do. What did he do, Brandon? He hit a pose in there? Brandon, he's getting on the couch and he hit one of these. And then you could see tears. Well, hopefully he's not having, like, a panic attack, but I guess, like, no one's ever called him out of shit in his life. And I barely did. I'm sticking up for her. I'm sticking up for her because I feel bad for her. I do not know how to navigate this conversation with the guy that is liking the problem, the relationship, for the sake of her, if I cannot call him on his shit for him to change it because no one else has it in his life.

42:02It'll be interesting. So we'll see. Do y 'all need a couple more minutes? Okay. All right, we'll be back.

42:12This has never happened before. Wait. What? Hyperventilating? No, like, I legitimately don't think he's ever been called on his shit because she does not call him on his shit. because all of these things happen. You guys don't even know yet. There's two more things that we haven't talked about. The AI girlfriend was like the least of it. Oh my goodness. And I don't even know. I don't know yet. He doesn't know. He's never been called on this and that's why he's freaking out in my opinion. All right. I think we're going to try one more time. Brandon, you're going to come with me. Let's do it. How are we doing?

42:53How we feeling? Better than Okay, good Improvement is improvement. Yeah. So I was just having a hard time because we was calling things out and Yeah, well so what I did feel was shame but it's getting cold and that stupid reason for or feeling something, my body's just like, all right, we're gonna go ahead and shut down for a second. Right, right. The valid response, it's cleaning up, you know? It's hard to let a club work through the emotions. Yeah. I've been trying to be as understanding as I can, because I can't feel your feelings for you, you know? Yeah. You were talking about feeling the shame, and you're kind of stuck on that.

43:46You even said the reason why. Yeah. We have like another hour. Yeah. And this really is, when I talk to you on the phone, you want things to change. And this is a conversation that feels like you two haven't been able to have. And we need to have it. Yeah. So I would love for you to come back. I would love to have this conversation and for us to be able to get both of you the help and support that you need. You ready for it? You give it a go? You know how to dodge this dragon troll from the dungeon. How do you want to know? Harry Potter? Yeah. Harry Potter! Okay. We're back. How was feeling? What happened?

44:44I think we had a good heart-to-heart. What happened? Maybe you should talk. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Just when you were talking about me being, you know, a real piece of shit dad and partner. It dug out the shame that I do feel because I know I could and should be doing better. and having it thrown in my face is, you know, it sucks, but it's also a nice response. My question is, if you know you should be doing better, why aren't you? Because that's all talk. Because it's hard taking the step to change yourself when you've done something a certain way for a long time and breaking through. Well, the AI girlfriend isn't something you've been doing for a long time.

45:33No, I don't do that anymore. once we had that conversation about when she got the email. A few months ago, but yeah. What's to prevent us from doing that again in the future? Why won't you show her the messages in there? Why won't you show her the phone? I understand a financial behavior might take a second, but literally just showing her, you can just give her your phone. If taking this step is hard, isn't that the only step is just giving her the phone? What other step is there in that process? No, that would be a step forward for sure. It would be. Are you going to? Yeah, I mean, I would have to go in and download them again.

46:10Your phone in general. Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, they can have my phone. I think a slice of truth that might help this conversation is he was in the shower. This was a very long time ago. You were in the shower one time, and I was worried that you were talking to someone, and I did just peek through your messages. Okay, and? There was nothing there. I was just worried. Okay. What led you to be worried? I think it was like a coworker you were talking to or your friend. I'm also confused about this. I haven't used it since you downloaded an other app the day after the confrontation or the AI. So that just doesn't line up as well.

46:53That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to$200 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Starbucks is bullshit and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest.

47:29So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10 % off your order at Gamer Subs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. Because there were, I think, two that popped up because it was the emoji one and then a different one that popped up like the next day.

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49:13So there was a two. There was the AI Girlfriend. It was the sultry little purple mask. And then there was the Inochi. Classic D &D. Yeah, and then you said, okay, I'll delete it. And then the next day it said that you had paid for an add-on, and that was to the Enochi. And I was like, what the f*** did we just talk about? And you're like, you're right. And then you said you deleted it. Oh, she wasn't right the day before? No, she said I was right. They were still right the day before. Yeah. And what is this thing about envelopes? I'm being told about envelopes? Envelopes? What envelopes? What is an envelope?

49:46When I, my previous job before the field merchandising talent, I was a retail store manager for an adult store. It was a full-time job, and I was the breadwinner at that point. I had been working there for a while. We had finally gotten our apartment, our one bedroom. Was it the North Park? It was the North Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And so we found out we were pregnant a month later. And it was late spring. I was like, I think it would be a good idea if, you know, we start pulling out cash from our checks, every paycheck, to put that into the envelope system. That way, because I made it. Envelope system, you don't.

50:36Okay, well, you either run via envelope or you don't. I don't know what. Well, it was just like a little booklet. It has like the plastic little. Yeah, there was like. You were just trying to save. Yeah, I was literally just trying to save. Okay, you were just trying to put cash instead of save. Yeah, and I got ADHD, so if I see the number in the account, I'm like, oh, I have money. No, I got you, I got you. But if it's out of sight of the mind, I won't remember. You have every mental disability. Yeah, cool. So I had switched up my direct deposit to put$200 to savings, and then from there, every paycheck I would pull it out and then divvy it up.

51:06What's the problem? So I think I had saved up about$1 ,600. That's a good start. Yeah, and that was over like a couple months. And it was before the baby shower. I had asked you to pay the phone bill. And I hadn't kept track of checking, oh, recounting, oh, this is envelope. What happened? Anyways, I noticed that the envelope was missing a lot of money. And not just$100 here,$100 there. It was a fact. I had been tallying, oh, this date, putting this much in for this, and so on. and I told him that. Like, this is how I wanted to do it, so it's a checks and balances. There was no outtake that was written down, and there was a lot of money missing.

51:53Girl, what are you doing? Especially while she just is pregnant, headed towards the birth. What did you do? I would usually, whenever we had... Usually? Multiple times? When we had bills, I would go ahead, and if I didn't have the money, I would use what we had in our envelope system. What do you mean bills? She doesn't know your financial situation. You won't tell her. You won't let her look at anything. How can you even say? Should this happen more than once, though? No, not more than once. But you said every time or something like that. You indicated more than one. Because whenever, I mean, if we— Whenever.

52:26Whenever is not once. When we had bills, I would— I would. Plan to— Not did. Refill it. And then whenever checks came around, we'd have to pay bills again. and I wouldn't have the extra money to put back into the envelopes. Was this around the time you were getting behind on the car payments? Why won't you just let her f***ing look at your accounts? Just let her look. In the post show, we're going to re-download those apps and we're going to look at them. We're going to see what happened in there because I think we need to actually go through that. But we do also need to get into the money now or else this is never going to f*** the end.

53:06Oh my gosh. And it makes no sense because even when that happened, when she confronted you, you admitted that you only took 90 out, but that it's not possible because it was only$100 bills or$20 bills in there. So you couldn't have even taken 90. You were lying about the amount. Yeah, it wasn't just like 100 or 200. How can you trust him in anything? Won't do the therapy, won't do anything. How long do you think she's going to stay? If you do not change the things of which she has laid out ultimatums for, how long do you think she's going to stay? I'd be lucky if it was another month or so. Yeah.

53:36And do you even deserve that? I don't know. No. Okay, better question. 0 % is you're staying forever. You're not even questioning leaving. 100 % is you're walking out this building, separating him. Where are you?

53:52Those are the two extremes. We're in the middle. 5%, 10%. What? After all that, just that, you put down ultimatums, but you're at 5 %? That's never going to be ultimatums then. Those aren't ultimatums. It's. What? That's a red line in the sand that gets crossed every time with no consequences. That's nothing. That's nothing. 5 % is nothing. Now, why would he ever change? Why would he? You're barely even considering it. It's barely even a thought. It's barely even an inkling. I grew up with separated parents. Like early on, two years old, I never had a dual house, like parent household. Is this working?

54:30Is this dual parent household working? Is it going to be better for the kid, this thing? If it stays the same? Absolutely not. But you're at 5 %? when it's only stayed the same for years? That makes no sense. Enablement, enablement. You're right. You probably will never change. Wow. Okay, so let's get into the finances. Guys, and then on gender, in term. Dude bros. Uh-huh. What do we rate the household financial score at this point? Zero being the worst, 10 being the best? Like a two. Yeah, two. Yeah. I know I took the quiz myself, and I was at a five. Yeah, but you guys are combined. If you want to take that assessment, take it for free at CalebHammer.com.

55:14It just takes a few minutes to see where you stand in the world of money, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. It is awesome, and you can improve your life with it. You can also improve your life with the DollarWise Budgeting app. Tens of thousands of monthly active users for a reason. Thousands signing up daily. It is awesome, and it's incredible. You can see the free trial if you like it. And if you don't, you can cancel. And if you do, you can keep going, and you can change your life like many other people do. Most people take the annual version because it saves a lot of money.

55:37And you get my 30-day meal plan. This guy right here, signed by me. Mail directly to you. Hand me that Sharpie, please, if you may. Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. So all I do is I come down here and I'm like, woo, signature, let's go. And then you get it. So there you go. Now you can't have any excuses for not being able to meal prep, not being able to plan your meals. It is based on a$300 per person grocery budget per month. It is great. It is snacks. It is everything. Okay, so I am going into these finances, but I have to know just the baseline of this conversation where it stands. We've talked a lot about a lot of betrayals so far.

56:16Is that the end of the betrayals? I want to at least make sure before I keep going. I want to say no, but that might be presumptuous. You want to say no? I mean, I don't want to say that, yeah, that's the end of everything. Uh-huh, 100%. The betrayals, though. The betrayals, because there's lots of betrayals. I don't know. What about you? How are you feeling? No, I have a hard time talking about finances, but there's nothing in there that I should have been hiding. Okay, so I understand that, but are you trying to say that you've said everything that is needed to be said? I think so, yeah. When was trust first broken in this relationship?

56:57Do you want to talk about it? Why am I? what is it yeah if you want we can talk about it we're definitely going to we're here you guys didn't put that on your no no list so oh we're talking about it but what are we talking about I don't know please don't be cheating no I've never cheated on them what okay you seem to be the one that can put words out of your mouth so why don't you try to do it I found out when we were looking into getting an apartment we had talked about financing as a first-time homebuyer. What? When? That quick? It was like March two years ago. No, no, it was March last year.

57:39March last year was the first trust break? That's crazy. Okay. That's been a lot since then. What happened? I was talking to his parents about him sending emails to the VA about getting his paperwork and all that stuff from when he was in the military. What branch? He wasn't in it. I had a friend of mine who...

58:06Okay, you weren't in it, but you were emailing the VA? No. Huh? No, I didn't. It was all just a story I had with one of my friends who was in the Army. We talked about joining in together, and he was older, and I got a letter saying he died in active combat. What? How does this break her trust? Well, I'm getting there. and so I ended up using because he would send me letters about his updating through basic and then he would get deployed and he would let me know how he's doing and I ended up taking those stories and be like yeah this is what we did while we were enlisted together what? you never said it was both of you you just talked about it being you though what?

59:01no no you took his stories? whoa no no no no No, no, no, no, no. The stories that your friends sent you, you took about your service? Yeah. Stolen Valor. Right here. Stolen Valor. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, it's not. Whoa. And did what with it? I didn't. That's like Stolen Valor shit. Wait, and did what with it? What with the VA? I didn't do anything with the VA. What were you trying to do with the VA? Why are we in contact with the VA? Where does the VA come into this? He was lying about that. About what? I'd never contacted the VA about anything. I was just saying I was doing it, but I never actually did.

59:40Do what? Covering up. Covering up what? Continuing the lie. The lie to who from what? About being in the military. So you're telling everyone in the world, including you? What? Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So when you started this relationship, dude was like, I'm a vet? Not out the gate, no. It was suddenly brought up. But it happened? Yeah. Wait, you were telling everyone that you were a veteran? Not everyone, no. Not everyone, no. A lot of people. Our friend group. Our friend group, yeah. Your what? Our friend group, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I wasn't going on the rent down the street to them like, yeah, I'm in the service.

1:00:17I mean, you told the people that any normal person would.

1:00:23What? It wasn't a good moment for me. This friend, does this friend even exist? Do I even believe that? I don't believe anything this guy's saying. It doesn't even matter if the friend exists, though. It's like you're using his stories or just Reddit stories you found. You're telling people, what was the point? What were you doing? Why are you getting out of this? This is crazy. And people think I'm like anti-vet because I talk about the disability thing on the show all the time. No, I'm a huge advocate and I want to fix the system to make it even better for people. They are the best of the best among us.

1:00:54Protecting this country, serving. What? No. My brother specifically was not a good representative. There's pieces of shit in every system. I'm not saying that. But in general, people that are putting their life on the line for the country, I respect them as a collective. There's pieces of shit everywhere. Maybe not the institution that hires them, but yeah. The government? Yeah. Okay, I mean that just meant nothing. This is such a broad statement. I feel bad for the people that do get in there with good intentions and then are brainwashed into believing that the government is the right way and the only way, and if you don't agree, you leave.

1:01:32Well, yes, you have to follow the military rules. No, like, absolutely. Regulations? There is a guideline, absolutely. But it's... Okay, I honestly don't give a f***. Whatever. I'm just trying to say I respect the f*** out of them as a collective because they have put their life on the line for this country. They're serving. It's called service. Yeah. and you're mimicking being one? For what purpose? For what purpose was this possible? I've never heard of this. I mean, I guess we've all heard of stolen valor, but I've never actually seen someone do it. I've never even heard a story. It's just known, right?

1:02:18Oh, okay, I understand. So you're a democratic socialist, and you're an anarchist. I don't know why an anarchist would pretend to be a... A vet. I still don't understand why you pretended to be a vet. It was just a stupid decision on my part to try and connect with... Why does that seem to be your answer for everything? I want to know the why. Your why can't always be it was a stupid decision. Why did you actively choose to do that? You will never get better if you cannot figure out a reason why you did something. Because I wanted to relate more to him. and when he told me about the stories, he was passionate about it.

1:02:58And I was like, I wish I had a passion like that about something at least. And that's what I wanted to do when I was younger. And then I've had a few injuries where I wasn't able to do it anymore. I had a motorcycle accident when I was 18. And I messed my left arm and shoulder up, so I couldn't do anything if I wanted to. Okay, listen, I'm gonna bleep the word, so don't be afraid to say the word, okay? Okay. I'm gonna count from three, two, one, then I'm gonna ask you to do something you must answer immediately. Okay. Three, two, one, what's the name of your friend? Okay. That was relatively quick.

1:03:39It was bleeped. What? Do you know of this guy? Oh, for f***s sake. No, I was about to. This is the one that you told me about. But there are two friends? I just... What? This is... That guy! Why? Why was I almost... I almost believed you for a second. This conversation is ridiculous. This is one of the most ridiculous conversations I've heard about. It's an hour and three minutes and I haven't looked at a document. What the f*** is happening?

1:04:16What? And did you at least go to your guys' friends and tell them that you were a liar? I made that a very mandatory thing. He had said, oh, I'll just send a text message. And I said, no, if you can lie to someone to their face, you can tell them the truth to their face. So I told all my friend groups that there was a lie because that was one of the ultimatums they gave. I was like, all right, that's what I'll do. I'll tell them the truth. Okay, Cash App, what's going on with this? No, this must be a checking account. No, I do my direct deposits and stuff through Cash App. That's interesting. Okay, what are you getting at Walmart for six bucks?

1:04:55I highly doubt that's groceries. I mean, sometimes it's the occasional, like, oh, hey, I need eggs, or we're out of milk, can you grab some for the sun? If there's a Walmart in your town, I bet there's a Chase. Or a Wells Fargo. Or anything. I think there's like a sister bank to Wells Fargo. There might be a Wells Fargo. I mean, I haven't seen one around, but that doesn't mean there's not. Okay, look, there isn't a Chase, but there has to be some kind of major branch of some kind, if not a chase. I'm trying to think. Okay, what's the name of your town? We're bleeping it. Indiana. Okay, first of all, why?

1:05:25Why live in such a not great place? I mean, I was born in the county next to it. Great. I don't live where I'm born because I went to a place without opportunity. And moving costs a lot of money, and we obviously don't have that. It cost me about$200, and I sold everything. And then I slept on an air mattress for six months. Now it's a little harder with a kid, don't get me wrong, but to just suggest that you can't do it without a shit ton of money is also just illogical. People move all the time. And we have one car. Yes, I know. It's a different situation. It still might cost a couple thousand dollars.

1:05:53But if you even go into debt for a couple thousand dollars to go to a place with opportunity where you make tens of thousands more, that is oftentimes a worthy investment. I mean, there's definitely an end goal for us, but it's not in the picture right now. But if you're not doing anything, that's not a goal. That's... Okay, First Bank, I think that one's pretty big, if I'm not mistaken. What? Fidelity. You got Fidelity. That's a green one, right? I don't know. I'm not aware. That's big, so you'd probably be fine there. You got National Bank. Oh, Federal First Savings. You're fine. There are major branches.

1:06:25There's a ton of major branches there. And you got some credit unions as well, but you're okay. Yeah, I've got an account with one of the local credit unions. There you go. So what a stupid... Excuse me, we're using... Remedy Center. Cannabis. 55 bucks. Yeah, we've... Is this why you're... How much are you consuming? We don't do it all the time. It's a purchase that will probably last us probably over a year because we do super small portions. You will not go to cannabis for a full year from that purchase? Yeah, we cut them into, because all the servings are about that big, and we cut it into 16 pieces.

1:07:02They're really strong. They're really strong. It's like 500 milligrams of gummy. Yeah, gummy. And then, obviously, right afterwards, went to Donut Bakery. Makes sense. Bath and Body Works Mega Replay. I don't know what that is. It's where you can sell old games or console systems. Well, he's buying, not selling. I had a really bad day that day, and he had brought me a gift, which is extremely rare. Well, not that rare. It was$12. You went there with our son, right? Yeah. You got some stuff, and I think you got a candle or something at Bath and Body. Okay, Carrilla. Yeah, Cirilla. That is an adult store, I guess.

1:07:45Yeah, we like to spice things up in the bedroom every now and then. I mean, I worked in the business for well over four years. That's a big every now and then, am I right, guy? AI girlfriend. Golden Buddha. Food. Yeah, food. I assumed. I didn't think that was a toy of Buddha's asshole. I'd be impressed. Yeah, I would assume it would be the belly button, maybe some fat food. Okay, donut, bake, and yeah, maybe groceries from Walmart. I don't know. You went and said I got some bullshit from Casey's. I know you didn't get$3.63 of gas. No, I got a drink from Casey's before I went to work. Okay, stop.

1:08:21Listen, no longer. No longer, my friend. Let me make sure it's the energy drink version. There you go. Woo, let's see.

1:08:30That cannabis has f***ed you. What kind of reflexes were that? You say people are intimidated by him? That was the worst I've ever seen. Dude let it fully hit his nose and run down his face. before you even moved. I probably would have too. I get bad reflexes. I jump scare though. Well, yeah, I'm sure you're medicated to death. Listen. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. A little bit. Every day keeps me cool. I'm fine. Shept and piercing therapy four times a week. I know you're medicated. Four times a week. Self-diagnosis. I know you're desperately medicated. Either way, no longer. You are using the Gamer Subs.

1:09:01It is 40 cents a serving after my discount. Code Caleb. Link in the description below. GamerSubs.gg. You're using that. If you want to figure out other flavors, you can get free samples at that using my code and figure out what you like. And you're making your energy drinks at home now instead of stopping in and getting some bullshit when you can clearly not afford it. Okay. Okay. It's delicious. It legitimately is. Every guest has enjoyed the f*** of them. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform. And I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday.

1:09:36Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. Guys, just real quick, don't forget to take your Hammer financial score at calebhammer.com. See where you stand, where you gotta do better, where you're doing shit. Listen, it just takes a few minutes and it is free. Figure out where you stand in the world of money. calebhammer.com. Send some money out. Bullshit. Nintendo. Again. That was probably one of the Nintendos that we talked about. Yeah, I mean, this just happened like a month ago. Air or vacuum. Okay, yeah, I mean, that's air.

1:10:09That's okay. Walmart. Nintendo again. How frequently? What are we doing? It's bullshit. Okay. Air again. Okay. How many times do we get in air? When I had my flat top, when I have our car before I got its engine tore up, I had replaced the one. Yeah. The car has been in the shop since the beginning of the month. Yeah. That's brutal. Send our money out. BMC. Whoa. CPE BMC. It's hard. That is our energy. Yeah, that's our energy. Yes. Okay, fair enough. Centerpoint Energy. Knob Hill Tavern, High Score Saloon, Insomnia Cookies. If you have an Insomnia Cookies, you have a major bank. Yeah, that was like the first date night.

1:10:49We have a f***ing Insomnia Cookies. Yeah, that was the first date night in what, like six, nine months, something like that. Something like that. Okay, that wasn't the point I was making. Bullshit, bullshit. Nintendo again, 20 bucks at a time. Nintendo's stacking up. Liquor, wonderful. Wendy's, Honeymoon Weinbach. Wendy's. Weinbach, yeah. McDonald's gives a bullshit. A lot of bullshit. Maybe gas. That one actually looks like gas. Air again. I understand why. Maybe groceries. Definitely bullshit. Bullshit. I think gas. Does it say ruler fruits? Bullshit. That's a grocery store. What do you want?

1:11:26Ruler fruits, that's a grocery store. I know, but when he's getting like$3, I bet he's getting a little drink. Yeah, it's a drink. There we go. Oh, okay. We judge it by price typically. See, this might be groceries. $16 there. Yeah. Bullshit, Sonic, Culver's, Dota Bakery, bullshit, and sex toys again, double sex toys. Is it like$17 to$20? We're ramping up. Yeah, we recently talked about him just going to get something and then using it and then not saying anything and not initiating. And that's half of the problem. What are we getting? It's like a pill. Yeah, pills to help with simulation. Yeah.

1:12:04You're the struggle. So you want to be f***ing. Wait, then why are you getting an AI girlfriend? I thought it was because she wasn't given. Yeah, no, I definitely, it wasn't on, it wasn't on the front burner. You know, I'm taking care of the kid. I'm staying home. I'm also working. I'm also trying to take care of the home. Yeah, but he's the one that can't get excited? I mean, I get it. When I'm like overly stressed or tired, I don't get as excited. Yeah, and like that kind of like counter, like adds into that struggle. Because I know they're doing the best they can with our house and... and probably believe that name, but yeah, I assume that's the kid, right?

1:12:38Yeah, sorry. This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners. Sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. Oh, that's okay. 255, this is your checking account? Up from five. Uh, Heritage. That's heritage.

1:13:15Heritage, yeah, that's me. Okay, it started at five. That's scary. What? Groceries. Oh, is that the savings? Honeymoon. Bullshit. Yep. Cash app, cash app, cash app. Uh, bullshit. Bullshit. Spotify. That's a monthly, yeah. Maybe food, maybe groceries. Cash app out. Cash app, cash app, cash app. Yeah, I'm paying the installment fees. Groceries. I mean, it's just dangerously low balances. It's very scary. Yeah. Luckily, no overdrafts. I'm surprised. So with the previous job that I had, the pay was constantly infrequent. One week I could get$100. The next paycheck would maybe be$900. Yeah, but if you guys combined, it would be less of an issue.

1:13:54It would. But I mean, when we were paying for the wedding, it was me paying for everything. I paid for the rental. I paid for most of the dress. I had a friend help, and then his grandparents paid for the catering. Why didn't you step up and pay anything? He was paying the bills. I was paying the bills. All the bills? Yeah. No issues? No late? No problem? Okay. What did you even know? There were a few that were late. There was one time we were like a day late on the energy bill. I was never like super like a week or two weeks late paying the bill. Yeah. Why did we split it like that? Where you buy everything including the wedding bands and the suit and all that stuff?

1:14:27Because my income was super infrequent. I couldn't rely on my check to be paying bills. If you guys were combined, you'd be able to actually...

1:14:35Listen, obviously, I want you guys to move some more better opportunities, but I'll get both of you course career certifications. A lot of people in the audience have converted those into six-figure jobs. I'd like you guys to as well. Just be strategic about which one you're getting. Look at the job market. Get you guys that. Also, buddy, listen, we got to build your credit. I'll get you the mine, used to be called Fizz, but the mine card, debit card that builds credit, can only spend what's in your checking account. Clearly you have issues with that. Another cash app. Whose cash app is this? Zero bucks.

1:15:02And this must be yours. You're transferring to it, right? Yes, yes. Okay, well, you're getting bullshit on here. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Goodwill, I mean, that's probably okay, but people can get bullshit there. Sonic. It was probably closed or something. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. McDonald's, bullshit. Come on. Buddy, literally$80 in that collection account? Why couldn't you just pay$80? dollars. When they called me about the Overdread collection stuff. They bumped your score by like 15 points. 80 bucks. I didn't know about them. You didn't know? I didn't remember until they called them because several more were here.

1:15:41Credit karma. Any credit. It's everywhere. It takes five seconds.

1:15:48What? Any kind of personal responsibility? Like advocating for yourself doing anything? I have a hard time getting stuck in the rhythm where I'm just worried about day to day instead of downloading an app for three minutes being comfortable yeah I think it's the sense of comfort I don't think you like a little bit of being uncomfortable in life but you don't get that choice with a child and wife that's true I definitely need well I'm glad you know you need to now if only you could do something ever once For the sake of the sake, man. You can download an AI girlfriend and sign up for that subscription, but not download and set up a credit card.

1:16:30Yeah. Yeah. So 80 bucks in that one. What a joke. I don't even. It's so stupid, man. It's so stupid. Okay. Yeah, I don't know what Spring Oak Capital is. Let's see. Original creditors name Bank of Missouri. So you probably had a credit card with them or some kind of loan, but you owe$662 to them. How long has this been in collections? Oh, it's from when I was in a past relationship. So I honestly... What's that? Huh? When was that? Oh, God. About three years, seven months ago. So it's still going to be on your collections for a very long time. And if we want to get a house, if we want to get an additional apartment together, whatever it is, it's going to f*** you.

1:17:07Is that one of the paydays? It's going to f*** you. Oh, is it? I don't think so. AT &T? AT &T? Why'd you let AT &T go to collections$367? I think that's when I was trying to get out of my phone plan, and I paid up my phone, and I was trying to get out of their contract, and I had paid my last month, and I said I owed something, so I didn't know. You just let it go so that it would fuck you in your entire future life? This has been seven months, man. Seven months. Says it's been in collections at least. I'm sure it was not paid much longer before that, but it was at least sold to collections. Wait, wait, wait.

1:17:57Is that when we switched from individual phone plans to Cricket? And you said that you were on your parents' plan? Trust me, I'd much rather do helium than Cricket. You said you were on your parents' plan. And that they were paying for your phone bill. Is this another lie? Did we just learn another lie? I don't remember saying I was on my parents' phone plan. You may not have remembered now, but I do recall you saying, yes, I'm on my parents' AT &T phone bill, and I can just transfer it. And then you had a problem trying to get into the account and get the number transferred over so you got a new number.

1:18:36Guys, therapy is great. Have we considered couples therapy? I have mentioned it multiple times. You mentioned it. Very good. And you won't because? I never said we just haven't picked a therapist to go to couples counseling for. Just haven't picked a therapist? I have told him that there are therapists at the office that I go to that do couples counseling. So what is the issue, guy? No, if we can set up a couples therapist appointment, I don't have an issue with that. We just haven't done it yet. So if she doesn't do it, it will not happen? I need to get better about taking initiative for things.

1:19:08Oh, he needs to get better. Another solid 10 out of 10 answer, guys. I'm glad you know you need to. Why the f*** don't you? Yeah, that's something that we talked about at the beginning of the year. New Year's resolutions, whatever you want to call it, I had asked him how he wanted to improve this year. Stick it in more. He said he wanted to go to the gym. Respectfully, I get it. However, my resolutions were a little bit more concrete, more financially based. Yeah, you're also not like horribly unhealthy. If at all. You don't look bad. I mean, I feel like it, but. Well, yeah, maybe. I'm sure your cardio is bad and stuff like that.

1:19:48You know, maybe it's like, you know, but like you're not a bad looking dude. So like a gym's good. Go on more walks. It's nice up there half the year. Go on walks. Yeah. Okay. We've definitely been doing that lately now that our kids like walking, running. We're going on a couple miles a day. Yeah. Like 15, 15 a mile pace. Okay. Very good. So 15 minutes. So, good, do that. No gym necessary. Gym if you want, but that just shouldn't be our... I don't want to say it's not important, but there are things that are getting... The marriage is getting destroyed, and we need to prioritize that. Okay? Yeah, I need to put stuff like that on the back burner.

1:20:31Oh, you just found out that his mom's paying his car insurance at 30. Quite recently, yeah. What the f***? Why do you keep finding out things still in our marriage? The car was in the shop, and I actually addressed this with her directly, and I was kind of pretty much saying, why are you enabling him? He's an adult, and she's her. You too. Right, but he's his mommy, and she'd be letting go, and she can't. You're acting like his mommy too, though. And I don't want to. Sorry, sorry, keep going. No, I get it, but I don't. You don't want to, what'd you do? With no stop, and you're 5 % leaving? Yeah, good luck.

1:21:04Sorry, continue, continue. I'm interrupting. I point out his flaws and that I say that he needs to change and that it's for the better, but the drive just falls off. It's like you go to sleep, you wake up, and then the drive that went to change goes away. Bro, here's a direct quote from your application to come on the show. Yes. I'm far from perfect and aware that I get upset in overreacted times when I feel like I'm being manipulated with crumbs of the truth, caked with lies when it comes to our finances. Yeah, I do. It's the fact that I just find out that his mom, his parents are paying for it.

1:21:40No, he's manipulating you. And he's like being like, oh, I'm, um, um, close your ears. No, no, no, no. So don't like, I can't be that bad. Oh, no, I'm just a delicate little flower. Oh, hello. You're just allowing all this manipulation. And him like, I'm going to get better. I'm going to get better. Oh, yeah, I know I need to get better. I'm going to do all the, nothing. And you're just allowing it. Red line in the sand, push back a thousand miles. I'm a pushover. Yeah, sure. I mean, I don't, you don't deserve that. I definitely need to do. Okay, you have another one in collections. $1 ,332 and$1 ,1998.

1:22:19Very good. Okay, student loans. We got some student loans. Hi. Hold on, do you not have debt? Or is the student loans your debt? No, the student debt is my debt. That's it? No. Everything's in? No, no, I've got more collections. Well, you have collections too? Wait, okay, is the$1 ,998 you? The who? 1 ,998. What is that from? I don't know. It doesn't say. That's from when I was in my past relationship with my partner. We had a lot of issues, and they weren't wanting to help pay with bills. Oh, it was her who was the problem. The payday loans? I'm sure you had no issues. No, and then I kind of— How inconvenient on this show how everyone is not the problem in their past relationships.

1:23:03I signed up for a secret shopper job, and I've been trying to get that one. What? What's the word? I don't even know what a secret shopper job is. Somebody goes into a store and kind of surveys how the customers are acting or how the employees are treating guests and how the store is clean or not so clean. It's, yeah, I've been in retail my whole life. I see it. I know. Okay. Okay, you got student loans. Yes, I have two student loans from when I first went into college. Well, a combination of$4 ,448. No degree, right? No. Oh, you'll get a certification. That'll be good. I've been trying to take some bookkeeping courses during downtime, and that has since been negated.

1:23:48I know that's hard. Okay, here's your collections. We got 761. That is the old Verizon bill. Okay, wait, you wouldn't pay your phone bill either? So that was not in my name. That was in my ex's name, and I have been trying to— in some way. You were on it as well. Together, maybe. I don't know if he transferred it to my name without my knowledge after we split up, but I had left Verizon. I had left Verizon and transferred to Mint Mobile. Doesn't matter. You may have still owed some money or a contract break fee. I don't know. You may have still owed on the phone. No, the phone was paid off. Well, I don't know.

1:24:22You called them? I've been trying to defer. She hasn't even called them. She hasn't even called. guys, I cannot advocate for you if you will not have a phone call with the company that you owed money to. I think I've actually got an email that is from them, but I have been trying to dispute. It doesn't matter. Why do you not at least call? I get the dispute. That's an important step. Why not call Verizon? Hey, why do I owe this? Oh my gosh. How could you not start with the most basic thing? I cannot advocate for you if you can't even make a phone call. That's as bad as him out there. So that one is under my dead name.

1:24:59And with my legal name change. I don't know if they're going to try and fight it. You did a name change? A legal name change. Yeah, they legally chose their name. Oh, you do have a dude's name. No, wait, no you don't. Well, uh, no, no, no. It's like the middle. Wow, good job. You can go either way. Yeah, yeah. I know. Okay, well, either way, just make a phone call. I don't know. Tell them. Hey, I'm trans. And, like, something happened. My name. Sorry, but I also have, like, I can show you it's me. I got my social security number. That doesn't change. Correct. Okay, you have collections 2 ,164 as well.

1:25:33Is it the same as that one? No, it doesn't look like it. Okay, there's one that says Belinsky. That one didn't say. This one says Belinsky. 1 ,023 is Belinsky. And the next one is a duplication of the same thing. 212? 221? There's one that it's the same exact amount, and it's from the same place. I think we got rid of the duplication. I've been fighting that for so long to dispute it on Credit Karma, and they're just like, well, there's nothing we can do about it. Well, Credit Karma, no. You might have to be in touch with the actual bureaus. Oh, I didn't even think about that. I had my identity stolen a couple years ago.

1:26:10I think we threw it away because we thought it was double. Oh, no, there is two. Yes. Two separate amounts. Oh, two separate amounts. So maybe the 2 ,164 was. Either way, charter you also owed$221. So whatever is to what doesn't necessarily matter. We know we have all this collections. At this point, you're just going to have to negotiate them down or get on payment plans. That's what it's going to be. We need to budget you. Let's try to budget this household. This doesn't work if you guys, you don't have to fully combine every account, but I think everything should go into a joint checking and then disperse from there so we can at least decide where money's going.

1:26:47We use DollarWise to understand where everything's going. You use your certifications. you get your education with mastermind. You take advantage of all the tools like every guest has and you change your life like they have. But it doesn't work if you guys don't communicate. You need to go to a couple's therapy and she shouldn't be the one that has to book it. Stop being a little boy. You're being a little boy. And I'm sorry for the gendered term, but you're acting like a child. There we go. So$5 ,000 comes in. No debt minimums because they're all in collection. Well, student loans. Is there a minimum in that$4 ,448?

1:27:20They're active, so I'm not quite sure. But you should call them before it defaults, and then they garnish your wages. Okay, I will. I mean, I guess. I don't know. Like, it just started reactivating with the, I don't know, like something fell through. I don't, everybody's. Something fell through. So I know that most people whose student loans were neutral, they weren't gaining interest. Deferred, yeah, they were on a deferment. Yeah, the deferments fell off. Because the Supreme Court said no, so Biden. I referred it for about a year and a half. That's been done for a while now. Right, so mine just started regrowing the interest on it.

1:28:01Well, you can look at the new repayment assistance plan. That was passed under law through the one big beautiful bill. Well, you don't like it, however, it's going to help you. So cry about this. Okay, listen, I don't like spending more than we bring in either, but this is actually helping you, so you can't fucking cry about it. It'll bring you down to even as low as 1 % of your income being your payment. That's actually not at all. Yeah, that's doable. It just extends the term you have to have before it's forgiven. That's fine if you're only doing 1 % because you shouldn't be as subsidized as you.

1:28:34You don't need to be. You're making your own career choices and spending money you don't have, so fuck you.

1:28:41So what does it say the minimum is? Okay, let's put your debt minimums at 100. I don't know. Okay. What's your rent? $700. Yeah,$702 with the charge fee. Okay, what about internet, gas, electric, utilities, all that combined? Just about. I saw utilities. CPE is$2 ,1075. The water bill is around$100 a month. We're just getting internet installed. What's it going to be? $50, I think. Safely say$60. Okay, I'm going to say utilities is$371. Boom bill! $90. Huh? $90. Okay. Gas? Vroom, vroom, drive, drive. One car, but how much do we spend? A hundred a month. Car insurance, how much? I want to say...

1:29:29Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla? Smooth caramel, maybe. Or a white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries. Probably 1.30. You want to text your mom to double check? Yeah, I can go. Wait, she pays for it. Yes. So I'm crossing it out for now. Does she want you to pay for it? We've been talking about getting it transferred over. You don't need to. I would like you to eventually, but I want you to pay off your debt. Okay. Get out of this collection situation.

1:30:01But they haven't given me a deadline of when they wanted me to. Is it maybe on Titty? No. No. He's eating our food too. Yeah. Okay. We should be able to do about$750 in groceries. Meal plan, meal plan. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a regular thing. Yeah,$750 is good. Okay, TPFun, anything else you guys need to survive includes diapers and tampons and all that good stuff and makeup,$250. Jim, how much? Oh, I was going to go to Planet Fitness. That was your needless resolution. Three months in, you haven't signed up. Oh my, you can't do anything. Okay, how much is Planet Fitness? $10. Yeah, that's for basic membership.

1:30:37Okay, medical healthcare. Copays, I know you go and get diagnosed and medicated for everything. So co-pays for me are free, but monthly it's like$119 a month for my insurance. Anything on your own? Medical that I have to think about monthly? No, since my— Okay, we're 19. Subscriptions, I'll put$40. Do you have any pets? Please don't. Yes, two. Why do the poor people always have pets?

1:31:02What are they? They're two cats. Two cats. Health and age? They're seven years old. Oh, yeah, okay. $100 pet insurance. How much for pet food? I think pet food is about— About 30 bucks. And litter as well. And litter. Yeah, no. 100 bucks a month covers litter and food for both of them for a month. Anything else that needs to be in this budget? This lovely little budget before? Spotify. I gave you$40 of subscriptions. You decide where that goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. $3 ,032. You have an extra, let's just be conservative and say$1 ,750 off on a monthly basis. So that's if you're actually combined. Because independently, it'll just get messy and you'll never know how much you have left over now.

1:31:43Just save up a couple month emergency fund. That takes literally a couple months. And then start negotiating these debts. Say, hey, I have this much to settle. Actually, or just pay them. Most of them are small. When it comes to the big ones, like the 2 ,000 and the 2 ,000 and 1 ,300, yeah, let's do some disputes as we can. But even still, just be like, yo, I got 1 ,000. That's all. Just keep doing that over and over again. Never give them access to your bank. And just settle. You'll pay off this collection in a matter of months. and then save up a fully 406-month emergency fund and then start doing 50, 30, 20, which you guys even can on your income in that cheaper area.

1:32:1550 % of needs, 30 % on fun, which is a decent amount of money, 20 % saving for retirement. You'll be fine. My goodness. I don't understand why you guys overcomplicated this. It is because of your behavior, uncontrolled spending, because you guys can't communicate, which is what you guys actually need to focus on, which means go to couples therapy tomorrow. Gonna get the Amber Financial Score, but remember, join us for the post show. So we are going to download that app and we're going to see what was being done on it. We're going to let her look through your phone as well. For the first time ever, it's going to be a groundbreaking moment.

1:32:46Hammer financial score. Spending in a budget. Hmm. We spent$4 ,648. The income was$4 ,788. Negative. Okay. Oh, but cash app loan draw of$1 ,190 was a part of the income. So you spent more than you made. Zero out of 10. Debt collection, 0 out of 10 Emergency fund, nothing, 0 out of 10 Retirement, nothing, 0 out of 10 Oh wow, everything's at 0 Hammer financial score, 0 out of 10 Get yours at CalebHammer.com Join Hammer Elite for three premium shows every single day Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday And get an extra 20 minutes of this show Called the Financial Autopo Show, it's gonna be good, I'll see you there Download that shit Now!

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