Bougie on a Budget: How to Enjoy Nice Things Without the Money Stress | Reair: Positive Life Solutions with Peggy Meyer | 594

0:00I make so much money but I have nothing to show for it. But what we have seen or what we believe is it's really just a lack of organization. You separate to simplify. We automate it. What's the first thing you cut? We don't, that's not how we work. We don't believe that you have to live on rice and beans. It's an entire system that can transform your finances for the rest of your life. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt free but you don't want to live on beans and rice?

0:31Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? If you don't already know how to budget or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. If you want to seem like you have your finances all together or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances. We know what you're doing probably isn't working. But guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money.

1:05In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation. We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time.

1:32This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. Hey, Budget Besties. We recently had this conversation on another podcast and it was too good not to share here too. Yeah. We hope you enjoy it. Because often we think of it as really restrictive. Ooh, I don't really want to know what I'm doing with my money. And if I find out what I'm doing with my money, that means I'm going to have to stop doing that. That's not really the case. We can still allow our shopping sprees and our indulgences to happen. And so can Can you, what is the definition of bougie on a budget? Because I feel like that ties in really well.

2:16Yes, that's, you had it right there. Exactly. We don't believe that you have to live on rice and beans. We don't believe that you have to give up your pumpkin spice latte. But the truth is bougie on a budget means something different for everyone. Your budget does need to match your real life, but it doesn't have to be scarcity. And then we've noticed that everybody has their different, because we've done thousands of budgets at this point. One of my favorite budgets that we did is she had horses. Her daughters did travel gymnastics. And then he went on travel hunting trips, like to Africa and places.

2:45We're like, y 'all are a totally different kind of bougie than anyone else that we know. But we put it all in the budget. And that's really the thing. It's not about taking stuff away. It's not about saying no. It's about your life, your goals, what you love, and putting it in the budget. We pride ourselves on not having anything that's cookie cutter, right? So a lot of the systems, a lot of things that you hear or see, it's like you do it this way for this amount of time. And this is the order in which you do it in. And we just. Percentages. Yeah, fixed variable expenses, needs and wants and all that.

3:17And we really tried to find a budget that we wanted to use like on Etsy or somewhere. And we just we couldn't find one. So we built our own from scratch. We hired a designer to do that. And one of the things that we realized is that we don't do anything cookie cutter for our clients. every single one of our budgets is different as it should be because it's very specific goals. And like Shana said, what bougie is to me is something different to you, Peggy, and different to the next person, because my bougie may be just my kids travel sports right now. That's my version of - That's our birth tag.

3:45Yeah. That's what's happening in this season. We're in that season of life right now. And then somebody else may be facials and massages and getting their hair done and nails. And that's their version of bougie. So we, when we look at a budget, a lot of people ask us, what's the first thing you cut? We don't, that's not how we work. We want to know what your goals are, what you're excited about, what brings you joy, what puts a smile on your face. And then we'll work from there because your budget, like Shana said, should match your real life and your big goals, because that's important. It gives you a why.

4:14Yeah. Yeah. So true. And why do people like, especially women feel like they have nothing to show for the money they bring in? Because I feel like it's very easy. it was like, okay, money's coming in, but what if I don't want it? Where is it? Where'd it go? But I want to do these things. I want to, I don't want to live out of my core when I go to sports events. I don't like, I don't, but I've done it. But where does it happen then? It's just like, why, where does the money go? Why do they feel broke? Why is it not there? Part of that is it goes into a black hole of one account. That's what we've noticed.

4:52So a lot of people will think they, the reason that they have nothing to show for it is they have some sort of of overspending problem. But what we have seen or what we believe is it's really just a lack of organization. Finances are way more complicated these days. There's so many more bills. There's so many more PayPal's and Venmo's and credit cards and stuff. There's just so much going on. And it's usually all in one account. And you don't really ever know if you have money or not. And so what we like to do is help you, first of all, simplify that. And then we like you to separate it. And we can talk about that more.

5:20And then we automate it. And that way, you know, exactly always that you have money, always that you where the money is coming from when you're out of travel sports event or whatever. And that's what we want to do. Yeah. When people come to us and one of the big things that they will say, and that's how we got that, that, that verbiage, and they will come on the call and say, I make so much money, but I have nothing to show for it. And it's really just because they don't know where their money is going because it's so unorganized in their bank account, but they don't know any other way. So they opened a bank, a checking account and a savings account at 18 when they got their first job.

5:49And that's just how they've been doing their finances. But as Shana alluded to, it's so much more complicated these days. You have more expenses. You have different kinds of expenses. You have probably credit card bills that you have to pay. And there's so many more spending options that happen, right? Before it was, you went to the store and you came home and now we're going to 50 different places a week, depending on where we are and what we're doing. So you just need a little bit of more organization and that means separation. So we actually have you open up multiple accounts, which allows you to see your money organized.

6:19And we say you separate to simplify. Yeah. And the separate to simplify really helps you. It's like what we want you to do is have you ever heard of the cash envelope? Yeah. So we take that digital again, we live in a digital modern era, there's a lot of things happening. So let's go ahead and do that. But the idea is that one account, there's just too many transactions. And we're trying to do math while we're doing a million other things and trying to it gives you a decision fatigue. And sometimes that leads to one of two things, let me just put it on the credit card, or let me just swipe and hope for the best, and then create a future a problem for future me.

6:50And so that's where it all lands. But as soon as everybody gets organized. Like it's just a game changer. Yeah. I love that because I do embrace that concept of like multiple accounts. And I'm, I literally probably went over the edge of this. I remember years back when the bank offered one of the, like a Christmas account, you just like automatically put a little bit of money away. So that was like my first like separate account for that. But I think I've just overexploded that in right now, but I feel like it is very simple. If I want a vacation, I have to put money in my vacation account, money and kids' college account.

7:28It just, it makes it simple. Yeah, exactly what I have. I think people, when they first come to us, they say, I don't know, this seems like a lot. And we're like, listen, trust us, just trust the process. Obviously what you're doing isn't working. You're here for a reason. You want something different. And so we will have them do it. Now, I will say a lot of people try to get the system up and running when they are not ready to do that. Meaning there's no wiggle room in their budget because they have$2 ,000 in minimum debt payments a month. So they don't have the extra to be able to do the extra, the savings buckets, like you're doing the vacation and travel and things like that.

8:03But it's because we still have to get it organized. We have to get the spend, even if you don't even do any savings buckets for, like you're saying, college trips and stuff. The first part that we want to do is separate and get the spending under control. Yeah, that's what I was going to say is the savings buckets. A lot of people are familiar with that, the stinking funds, all of that. But the spending accounts is, I think, where we have done a little different and where we want you to have a separate account for your bills only. And then we want to separate your spending. And that's really where, because that's where you live in your budget, the swipe.

8:35And when that's separate, then that is going to be what's going to make everything feel more organized. And so you actually know, so it's the same feeling as how good those savings buckets are, but it's the spending, spending accounts. So let's dive in a little bit more because I think that it's so easy to do that, that savings account. Like I did, you know, it's all that's easy for my extra, or if I pay myself first, but we have to get like the spending under a microscope. We got to understand that. So can you explain how you guys do that a little bit. Yeah. So people think automatically they want to do the savings buckets.

9:12I think that because the concept, the idea is there and they understand it. And they're like, yes, I want it. I want that, but they can't, like I said. So the first step is that separating the of the checking accounts for an extra spending. So we actually tell you to open up a minimum of one. If, if, if opening up more than two checking accounts is overwhelming, we say, listen, have the one account just for bills and then have the one account for spending and start there and see how everything goes. But if you really want a full system, if you want everything to be set up for you to be successful, we really want you to have an account for gas and groceries, an account for dining out, right?

9:50And just going out to eat. We want one for you and your spouse to be able to eat separately, to be able to spend on what you want. And then if you have kids, guess what? They need their own because they're gonna steal your money. Love them so much, but they're gonna need stuff throughout the month and we don't want it to pull from your money. So we want them to have their own account. So that way you can like freely use that money for field trips and friends' birthday presents or whatever. And when you pull up your bank app and you're like, okay, how much do I have left to spend in all of these accounts?

10:18Or what's my budget left? You can clearly see that in your bank app. And it's just, it makes it really nice and organized. Yeah, that really does sound like we do have to see it. It's like that cash envelope kind of thing. But like you said, it's in digital world. So here's my groceries. Here's my gas. Here's my, if you have a mortgage, it's right there. And it's really easy to pull up. We do that a lot on our bank accounts anyways. We just, our phone is, if we ever lost our phone, I think we would lose our minds. It's all right there. When would you, like, tell me how you help people make that mind shift from crap, I don't want to do a budget to totally embracing it.

11:03how we I think what we want you to do is get it all out out of your head and onto one piece of paper right so there's a lot of wrecking balls going on up here about should I could I can I will I what how much is that and so we want your budget to be all in one piece of paper and just face the numbers a lot of times we've seen it's not as bad as you think it is but you but it's all up here and it feels worse than it really is but once we get it all on one piece of paper then that makes it a lot more clear and then the other thing with their mindset shift is what they think is what we hear all the time.

11:34I'm bad with money or I'm just me. I can't do math or whatever, but it's really, again, it is very complicated. There's a lot more. If you were to take your grand great grandparents or your grandparents budget and compare it to yours, it's completely like madness. Now it's insane. So we want to embrace all of the modern tools that we have available, but we want you to just accept that you don't know. Nobody ever taught you this and it's really complicated. So if we can get it all on one piece of paper and those savings buckets that we were talking about, those are the things that people feel like derail their budget that make them not good at budgeting.

12:02So we're going to plan for all of those things that happen, maybe not each month, but a couple times a year, one times a year. And that's going to help all of this roller coaster or I messed up again. All of that, if we get it all in with a piece of paper, it's going to make it feel much more simple and much more doable. I think for us, our biggest goal for you is to have a consistent budget as much as possible. Like Shana was talking about the roller coaster. What does that mean? That means when your pets have their annual visits. That means when travel fees are due. That means when your auto insurance, your HOA, like all of that stuff that quote unquote pops up Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, those are not unexpected expenses, but people will come to us and say, we had all these unexpected expenses that popped up this month.

12:43They're like, try us, please name one. And usually they're not emergencies. Usually they're things that they knew that was coming, but they forgot to put in the budget. So what we want you to do is take a bird's eye view of everything. Look and see how much you cost for a year. Yeah, it's going to take a little bit of time, but if you do the upfront work, it's going to save you so much time and energy in the future. So if you can look and see what do I cost and then put it in your budget. So that way you are saving a little bit here and there for everything across the board. You'll never really have to change your budget, which leads us into the third point.

13:13So we said simplify, we said separate. And that automate part is where you put your budget into place. You have, you set up the amounts that need to go everywhere and you use the bank tools and the permissions on your app to be able to make everything automatic and put it into those accounts for you. And you don't have to do anything after that. Yeah. So two points there, just like that. I do feel like those annual or semi-annual things just come up and bite us. Oh, the tags on the car, the license on the car needs to come up. That insurance, whether you have that, I do it annually, but it's still, okay, I do have to plan for it only, but I pay it annually.

13:54Those kinds of things just like bite us sometimes. You know that they're there, but it's just like all of a sudden it's a surprise. Nobody's really surprised that Christmas coming around at the end of December. Oh, you'd be surprised. But they are because they get sad. It's like, oh crap, I forgot to do this so that I'm not stressed about finances over the whole. You know, I get it. I was listening to one of your podcasts this morning and you were just saying be intentional and is life happening to you? And I'm like, yes, yes, it is, Peggy. You don't know my life. And the thing that I think about for your listeners is they might think, I don't have time.

14:29Like what you were saying, I don't have time. I don't want, I don't have the time to go down, go sit down and figure all this out. I, what we think is you don't have time to not, right? When you're at the, wherever you get your tires done or tires changed out, you don't need to have to do figuring things out then. You need to have already have it figured out by the time you get there. And that's what we want for you. Take a couple hours, get all of this stuff out of your brain. like we just said, and then set up a system so that it runs automatically. I had a client one time that came to her first budget session, Peggy, with a bottle of wine.

14:58And she was just so stressed out. She didn't want to do math. She didn't want to look at her numbers. And honestly, I understand once we looked at them, it was a lot. She had four rental properties. She had a lot going on. But fast forward when she was done with coaching is she, unfortunately her husband, and he's well now, so I like to preface that, but he was diagnosed with cancer. And so she was able to completely focus on that. She had all of her budget, like her bills were being paid automatically, which our system helps you figure out. Her spending accounts were getting funded. So whenever she needed groceries, she didn't have to go think, do I have money?

15:27How much? There was money in her account every time. And all of her savings buckets, everything was happening, like Vanessa said, with those recurring transfers automatically. And then she could just be present in her life. And that's a very extreme circumstance. But me and her, we're going from volleyball practice to basketball to blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't have time to be doing math in the moment. So we want to set this up and not have to think about it. Imagine a situation like that, where you have a death in the family or it's like cancer, and you can't be fully present because you're so stressed about your finances or you don't know what's going on with your finances.

15:56Let that be one less thing that you have to worry about. Let that be one thing that you've already taken the time to set up and be automatic. And then from this point on, you know that everything's being funded. And then you just have to maybe tweak it along the way a little bit here and there when things change. But even from the drastic, drastic circumstances like that, or to just change a nice life with teenagers, it doesn't matter what's going on in your life. You still want to be fully present in those moments. And you don't have time to go in there and manually do all this stuff. Because what we know is when you are manually going in there and transferring and trying to do stuff, you're going to mess it up.

16:30Love you. But we've seen it time and time again. And that's just how it happens. It's time to enter your coaching era because making good money should feel like making good money. Yeah. Imagine six months of private coaching where we'll tell you exactly what to do. No guesswork, no confusion, and absolutely no judgment. It's a done for you system that actually works. You don't know what you don't know, and that's not your fault. And that's why we're here. Financial coaching with us looks like two coaching sessions a month, personalized recaps, and after hours support, you can text and email. So you're never stuck wondering what to do next.

17:07Together, we're going to build your budget, set up your system, and tackle any challenges that come up along the way, which, by the way, they always do. If what you're doing isn't working and you're tired of trying to figure it out on your own, sign up for financial coaching at budgetbesties.com forward slash coaching before all of our spots fill up, and we will help you go further faster. Six months from now, you'll wish you started today. We have clients in between sessions trying to transfer stuff, and we're like, no, don't touch things. You already messed it up. You're not only going to mess it up for the math, which like we're here, we understand math is not everybody's best friend, but you don't have time.

17:42So what will happen is Vanessa will talk about how on Wednesday, her husband gets paid Wednesday night and then Thursday, all of our transfers happen. But what will happen is I'll do it manually. And then it's okay. Then I had the PTA meeting and then we had church get together and then we had this and then, oh, I forgot. And now I'm just back to the chaos, but we want to tame the chaos here and have it happen all automatically for you. So you don't have to in the moment. Yeah, because I don't know about anybody else, but I'm getting older and I can't remember everything. No, as you're talking, I'm going through numerous examples of my own life when I was like, okay, yep, I'm going to do that.

18:18And then something happens and it steals my attention. It steals my focus and then it snowballs. And then I'm like, oh, I need to get back to that. Did I do that? Did I not do that? Then you enter into another situation and you're already frenzied and stressed. And like you said, it could be another thing, but in my life lately, as anybody, like their appliances are just dying on them. So it's like you wake up and it's, oh, the fridge is warm. Awesome. I had time for that today. Everybody's eating bagels for breakfast. Okay. So then there's that whole, and we have to deal with that. But then if you have things set up, yes, that's stressful and whatever, but then you don't have to add the other stress of, oh crap, how am I going to pay for a new fridge?

19:03How am I going to pay for a new wash machine? Have that kind of, you know what your finances are. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And we talk about, a lot of people will come to us and say, I have this emergency fund and I'm dumping all my money in there. Or like, okay, but what is it for? Emergencies. Okay. How often a month do you pull from it? They're like five, six, just as I need money throughout the month, I'm pulling it. But then I'll put it back at the beginning of the next month. I'm like, no, that's not working. The reality is when you have savings buckets for actual tangible situations like pets and Christmas and vacation and all that, when it's laid out and organized like that, you don't need as much of an emergency fund and then it's only going to truly be used for an emergency, right?

19:48It's not you're pulling from Christmas, you're pulling from this, you're pulling from that. You have an emergency that's literally for an emergency for your alternator or something or your fridge. That is an emergency. That is a need. but your tires that you knew that you needed two years ago or Christmas that's coming up or your anniversary that's next month or whatever your HOA like all that we knew that was humming so coming so let's go ahead and go ahead and budget for that so that you can feel good and prepared when it's come due you have the cash so there's that like what is actually an emergency yeah because we have this conversation so many times with our line it's like okay whenever I need something, not an emergency plan stuff you knew was coming.

20:27You just didn't plan for it. Yeah. And to be honest, a lot of times those emergencies are like my travel sports fees. So we, and that's, it's a really interesting conversation, Peggy, because what this does by planning this out is really force you to look at what your life actually costs and whether you can actually afford it. And for everybody that we budget for the most part, they can afford it. There's very rare circumstances. It's just they are going to have to make some choices. Like we said, if I want to be bougie and travel sports right now, we're probably not taking a whole lot of other vacations.

20:59One, we don't have the time, but certainly like a lot of our money is going to this wonderful experience that we're all having. But you have to pick and choose. And I just think, you know, what we've noticed is once you get it all out on paper, including those annual biannual expenses that we said, then you really know what you cost. And it's a lot of clarity that maybe you didn't have before. Yeah. And I think that's what defines real life. Yeah. Yeah. It's life. I think that's a really good point because people will try to make a budget on unrealistic expectations as far as sometimes people will come to us who are spending$4 ,000 a month on eating out.

21:35No, this has happened, which is fine. But then they'll come to us and say, okay, I want to make a budget. We're only going to go out to eat a thousand times this month or for a thousand dollars. That's it. And I'm like, it's probably not going to hit that. You're going to go over. or they try to put a really low grocery budget and then they don't hit it. They go over and they say, this budget isn't working. I can't budget. I'm bad with money, like all that. And no, it's just, you're not making a budget for your real life, which is really important. And it doesn't matter what X, Y, and Z or whoever you listen to tells you what your budget should be or what your grocery budget should be, or how many times you should be going out to eat.

22:07Because right now, when our kids are going out three to four nights a week, as far as basketball games, That's where we're eating dinner is that concession stands or an on the way home and things. That's just our life. And, and we need to put that in the budget because it's realistic. It's not just something that we're going to someday, maybe hopefully like a goal that we're going to hit. No. And what I, what I'm hearing is we just have to be honest with ourselves. We got to look at the real number. We got to look at our real life, not something that we hope to, or somebody else says, that's what you need to budget for.