How to Budget as a Couple: Separate Accounts, Automation, and Debt Payoff - Jamie's Story| 527

0:00Kevin would often say when I tell him I want to take a trip, where do you think that's going to come from? And I'd say, I don't know, but we'll figure it out. And that was the conversation. And we would, but it didn't feel good. We found it. We figured it out, but it didn't feel good. And we didn't know exactly what it meant for the future. And so for our relationship at this point, I just think there's like we're flowing now. We know what we're doing. We're in full unity on how we spend our money, how we don't spend our money. And we're both excited about the future, where we're at right now and what's to come.

0:36And so the tension has lifted and our communication is light and there's excitement and joy and a plan. And we don't feel that tight yuck inside about finances anymore. Do you make good money but have nothing to show for it? Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you have big dreams for your financial future? Do you want to get debt-free, but you don't want to live on beans and rice? Or you don't want to give up those pumpkin spice lattes? Hey, it's okay if you don't already know how to budget, or if you're using credit cards to get through the month. Hey, it's okay if you want to seem like you have your finances all together, or you're not on the same page with your spouse when it comes to finances.

1:17We know what you're doing probably isn't working, but guess what? You're in the right place. We're Shana and Vanessa. We're best friends, business partners, and master financial coaches trained by Dave Ramsey. We've been in business since 2019, helping hundreds of amazing people like you create budgets, get out of debt, stop living paycheck to paycheck, and know exactly what to do with their money. In this podcast, we'll share with you everything we know, plus everything we're working on with our clients so that you have the best chance at reaching your financial goals. We want to help you take the guesswork out of your budget, improve your marriages, and even bring your kids in on the conversation.

1:51We can help you no matter where you're at, whether you're the single mom who's never had$500 in her savings account or the millionaire who's paid off four real estate mortgages. And we're not going to shy away from the tough love. We'll tell you what you need to hear and encourage you at the same time. This is the Financial Coaching for Women podcast. Jamie, we are so excited to have you on Financial Coaching for Women. Thank you for coming on to share your story about one-on-one coaching. Thanks for having me. Yay! okay so we actually fun funnily enough just got off a session and your amazing husband was in the house for the first time he's been doing all the sessions with his little beanie cap in his car because where are you guys you guys are in we're in the the the twin city of minnesota minneapolis area yeah we have several people right up there so i get them mixed up but it's cold that's what i'm trying to say it's cold so he poor guy is like in his car doing doing the budget session but he's all in.

2:48So, I mean, that's great. And then Jamie's just home all warm and everything. No, I'm just kidding. She lives other than the cold. She lives like we would, we would just love it. Like it's just, they're surrounded by woods. And I was like, Oh, look at all of that out there. Good job. Watch it from in here. It looks really pretty. Yes. Yes. Right. So, okay. So let's jump in here. Tell us, you know, you know, we were just talking about your first call with Vanessa. So tell us what kind of led to you seeking it out, finding us and yeah, how that got started. Yeah, for sure. So Kevin and I have been together or married for over 23 years and together since we were teenagers, we, neither of us were raised with a really good idea of how to handle finances.

3:35Neither of our parents were reckless or crazy or anything like that, you know, both made good incomes and things, but we just didn't have it modeled for us. So we came together as kids and have grown up and here we are pushing 50 in a couple of years and just really realizing that while we've had a number of years of in our 23 years of marriage, there have been a handful of periods of time where we have been very diligent to follow certain programs that we've talked about before, you know, for budgeting and things like that that have really helped us. But we have been quick to fall out of those rhythms.

4:11And when we fall out of those rhythms, what has happened to us through the years is that we just shoot from the hip and hope for the best. So, yep, we, you know, we're thankful and blessed to have our needs cared for in what our income is. Nothing necessarily above and beyond. But we live comfortably and have made enough to do just fine. But it's not comfortable for us to continue forward. it got to a place of chaos where it was really stressful. There was no insight into what is ahead for us. And we weren't investing anything anymore. And it feels like the closer we get to 50, the more that feels foolish.

4:47And our kids are getting older and we had nothing for savings for college. And here goes our son, our first kid into college. And so it just, the shooting from the hip and hoping for the best had us shallow breathing financially for a really long time. And life has brought us in the last five plus years, a lot of big things, really big things. And so you just, we just kept doing life and not getting our hands around our dollars. And the two of us together, we needed someone else in the mix. I too am a coach and I know the value of, it doesn't matter how much you know, it doesn't matter how many tools you have tried.

5:27It doesn't matter the budgeting tools, the programs, the theories. Sometimes you just need somebody else to throw off the cogwheel a little bit, a third person. And so I just dug in and started looking for budgeting coaches. And I saw the two of you and I listened to a bunch of your podcasts and I was like, I want to be friends with them. So I want their coach. We want to be friends with you too. Absolutely. You would absolutely love them. They're amazing. And their kids are amazing. And I just love it. She's the one I was talking about yesterday. I was talking about you, that you get the cash out for the kids chores.

5:59And if they don't do them, they don't get it. And you're like, I'll just put that in my pocket. Maybe if I want to. And I'm like, I love that you have the discipline to do that. So anyway, I love that you add that up enough, baby. That's like a pedicure. Yeah. I mean, let's go. Oh, sure. Yes. Yes. Um, I, and you know what, Vanessa, we were just, we were just talking. We took a little break after I had some meatloaf. It was delicious. I'm so excited because it's so warm. We will never buy another course again. We will not. We will only buy coaching. We will only pay for coaching because we need exactly everything that you said.

6:30I know. I just had a free call with a guy, I believe it was this week. And he said, I know the value of coaching and I want to go further faster. He said, like, if you're, I know you're listening on the podcast, but he's thinking like a 35 degree slant. And he said, I don't want to go like this. He said, I want to go 90 degrees. I want to go straight up as fast as I can. And I know I need a coach to do that. And I'm like, that is it. Like that whole analogy was perfect because we talk about the difference between joining a gym and hiring a personal trainer. Right. And his was just so visual when he like did his hand like that.

7:00And I just love we have a lot of people who know the value of coaching and some people who've never even invested in themselves at all come into coaching and are blown away. So thank you for coming on and sharing this. We're so excited to just kind of dive into kind of what got you. You explain kind of what got you here, but kind of what your journey looked like while you were coaching with Shana. because she was your amazing coach. And so just tell us like one thing that I know you just had a session with her today, but what is one thing that stuck out to you that you know, you'll never forget from your time coaching with her?

7:30Oh man. It's so funny. I'll, I have to apologize right now. I'm like the most tender person. I'm so thankful for this and so thankful for you, Shana. So I'm like, Oh, I'm kind of emotional about it because I think that the biggest thing is, and I don't mean this to sound funny, but just, you know, what you bring, what you brought energetically to the mix for us. I don't know if you could kind of read Kevin's and my personalities. He is very, very strategic and systematic and let's get to it. He's like the most tender, precious man. But also like, if we got to do something, we got to do something.

8:02And I'm like all heart and he's a lot of mind. And anyways, you just brought the perfect energy into our mix. And that's what I think when you have a marriage, you know, we're two very separate different people, but we're one. And then you brought something energetically in that just met him where he's at. And myself too, just who you are, how you're wired and how you led us. It just felt like, let's go, let's go. And you know, you were right there to connect with us and things, but like drive us forward. And I don't know, it just, it took us from like a 30 mile an hour back road to 65 on a highway.

8:38Let's go. We're doing all the analogies today. um yeah i i get what you're saying and i think you know i just had we just had a conversation earlier today on another podcast and she said you know you said something about being called and yeah vanessa and i this is what we're here to do like we have no doubt and like vanessa will always say you know you guys are family to us like you can't dive into someone's entire your entire life is on that budget you know and i told you guys i love you guys i was so excited we'll talk about your win that we just talked about at the end of your session but we love you guys and we we feel like it's our job to kind of represent both of these women like negotiate you know like manage manage both of you both have goals you both have different you know needs and stuff so absolutely it's our job we love it for sure so so tell us like about the system you know like you guys kind of slowly implemented your i didn't get to say it on your session but i'm gonna say it right here sometimes people are very slow to want to set up the things automatic but as soon as you do maybe it's like oh i don't have to do anything i'm so excited and it's actually such a game pager but it is normal to like for people to have a little bit of trepidation but anyway so talk about the system everything like between the the bills account or your spending money or your savings buckets the budget how it looks how you guys you and kevin talked about it like whatever tell us what like worked for you what you know what made it click and all that kind of stuff yeah i would say right out of the gate the first thing that comes to my mind was opening all the accounts that at first we were like, what?

10:09And kind of went into the bank with our tail between our legs. Like, are they going to laugh at us? And thankfully we got a woman who was great about it. And so opening all those different accounts, because we once did do the cash envelope, you know, bought the accordion thing that had everything labeled. And we did have that day 15 plus years ago where we did all that. It made sense to us. the cash envelopes no more, but all the different accounts. I love that part of the system. And then from there, it just feels really good to watch that automatic. And yes, we are slower to all the automated.

10:45I think as of this month, we will be completely all fully automated into our savings buckets and things like that. But just watching those automatic transfers into the different spending accounts. I love that. Even something funny and tiny as finally getting a rhythm in our kids' chores money. And, you know, there's just, this is going here in this bucket. This is going in this bucket. Yeah. That's the first thing that comes to my mind. Does that answer that question? Yeah, no, absolutely. And I love how you're saying that because you, you know, Shane has talked about your journey with me here and there, and you guys have been so successful on what you have accomplished in six months.

11:20However, you're just now really implementing that automatic part in month six. And I think that that's great because so many people do this differently, right? Based on their situation, what they have going on, what season of life they're in. And so just know that you can do so much still and be, and be successful and only implement, you know, the very last part of the very last session, the month that you're in and that's okay. Yeah. And I want to speak to a couple of things. First of all, that, you know, one of the things that happened or why we didn't necessarily automate the savings is you weren't, you couldn't, right?

11:55Once you got that coaching money back into your budget, then that, that entire$797 is now going to savings buckets. And that was all on purpose. Like you were willing to sacrifice that for six months. Like you said, you know, the value of coaching, but then here we are, we got this money. Let's be intentional with it. I love that. But I also, you know, one of my favorite things, you guys are very frugal actually, but you value your health. You guys are really good about what I've been watching is valuing, you know, family trips, a time together as a family. Like you said, you had the senior that you got to go on that college trip and we kept setting money aside for all of that.

12:31And you just did as well. And it's like, it's just a, when I love your word, you always say precious. It's a precious version of Bougie on a budget. Like it's near and dear to our heart. Like this is what we want. We want your health to be optimal. We want the family time to be optimized in your budget, like all of that. So I love that about your budget and hopefully you getting to see that we can do this and pay off debt is like, was encouraging. All right, budget besties, it's time for some Real Talk. You don't need another budget. You need a budget system. Our simplified budget system is what you've been looking for.

13:04It's going to allow you to be bougie on a budget. You'll be able to easily set up a system that runs automatically and shows you exactly where your money is going. And it's going to give you permission to spend. Everybody loves that. Yeah. It's straightforward, pretty, and packed with walkthrough videos that break down the exact methods we use with our clients to get out of debt, set up a bills account, separate spending, build savings buckets, and end the paycheck to paycheck feel. If you're new to budgeting, this is the perfect way to jump in. And if you're already a budget nerd like us, you're about to meet your new obsession.

13:38This is the upgrade to your finances that you need right now. Yeah. So head on over to budgetbesties.com forward slash budget and grab yours. Now back to today's show. Yeah. Just to speak to the, the coaching expense, you know, everybody's financial situation is different. So I'm sure you get people who make way less than we do and make way more than we do. We are very much that middle-class American family, but we didn't have$797 a month to, to do this kind of thing. It wasn't sitting there. Well, it was, but it was going elsewhere as we shot from the hip and hoped for the best all the time. And in our minds, it was like, that is not, that's not there.

14:18It's, and I just, I have to say that it is for us. It was like, we don't know how it's going to happen, but we're going to figure it out because the expense of the next handful of years looking like the last handful of years is so much greater than the 4 ,000, whatever we would spend in six months. It, it just was like the most beautiful$800 out the door for six months that we've ever spent. I think that that's a great analogy because there are people in your exact same situation and they're like, I'm not really sure how. And, you know, I just had a young couple had no kids. They are just starting out their life and they knew that 700, that 797 was going to be really tough.

14:58But they did it and some like it was amazing how God showed up and just made it work and got them through it and then having that money back. And she said the same thing. She's like, I don't know if we can do this without you. I said, girl, yes, you can, because you need this money back in your budget to do other things for your, for your future. But I just love how you knew that it was there, not really, but there, but somehow not sure, but you were going to make it work and you were going to figure it out because the investment was so important. Yeah. And I think, you know, one of the first things that you do is put it all on one piece of paper, which, you know, when you're shooting from the hip, like you're not, you're not, you can't, you're not seeing all of it.

15:36That's how, that's why it feels like you're shooting from the hip and hoping for the best. But when you put it all on one piece of paper, I think, you know, we, it took a minute to get the right, you know, amounts for your savings buckets or, you know, the health one and then your spending stuff. But seeing it all and then also seeing, hey, okay, Jamie, you know, because you do work, you know, you have, you obviously take care of those lovely kids homeschool and do coaching yourself, like you said. But seeing where that money is going and like, you know, on purpose, this is what if I take an extra client or if I take an extra day or whatever, it's going specifically to to do things that we want to do.

16:09I think it like just that ownership and not shooting from the hip, like knowing like you're you're like having a plan, a pilot with all of the things. What are they called? Like the metro? Well, I don't know. My son's doing it. I'm not doing it. Oh, yeah. Well, me. I don't know. Like you know exactly what's happening. Like it's such a different feeling. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. What is what's one big win that you can say? I'm sure there was so many things that you guys accomplished, but what's one thing that you and your husband can look back and go, this, we did this because we took the time and invested in coaching.

16:48there's a few that come to my mind the first one i feel like i have to say is we just sort of stopped bleeding out i feel like we were just bleeding out we it was sort of you know just a what you can't see can't hurt you just put the card through the machine we were eating out a ton we do i am i'm an integrative nutrition health coach so health and wellness is a huge passion of mine, obviously a huge value and a place where we do put our finances. I'm not a big spender in a whole lot of other things. We aren't, but that is a place where when we eat out, we find a place that is good quality food.

17:22When we buy groceries, it's quality food and we are invested in health and wellness in some other ways as well. But it was just like scan, scan, scan. We were just bleeding out. There was no idea around how much were we spending on eating out, on supplements, on, you know, whatever. And I think we stopped the bleed. We got our minds wrapped around how much on average we were spending and we just the creating of a budget again. And then we really disciplined ourselves to stick to it and never diverted. I mean, I think every single time we got on the call with you, Shana, it was like, we did it this last two weeks.

18:01We did it. We stuck to it. And there were some incidentals that came up that we were like, we didn't know that was coming. but it wasn't like i just went and bought 250 pair of jeans you know it was no yeah and so anyways the the the budget and the stopping the bleeding was huge and then another win was we've we have paid off some debt and i think we didn't think we'd be able to touch that for a really long time and also it is our son's oh goodness here i'm gonna don't start again don't cry

18:39He's our first born and here he goes. So I did get to take him to visit some colleges and we are going to be able to take one last family.

18:51And we didn't know if we'd be able to do that. Really. And it's a sweet, sweet, important time. And so paid off debts. We we got to do some things with our senior that we didn't know if we do how we do it. And now we get to go on a fun family vacation that we have prepared for. So it feels really good. Yeah. The, you know, the, the final session was them paying, they're going to pay off a credit card with a, with the, with the Kevin, with Kevin's bonus. I'm going to pay off a credit card, which you did not think you would be able to pay off. You know, it's, it's not a small amount. And then, and then you're still going to put$5 ,000 or whatever you guys said toward, I would ask them if I could come with them.

19:33it's to glacier national park national park they're going to take this amazing trip with their kiddos this summer and it's just going to be so cool and it's it's so such a such a blessing to to to know that you can do both like you can be a good you're being a good steward both of those things are very i think being a good steward obviously but you can do both and you were able to do both and that's the capstone of your coaching like i was like i told him sometimes we're like hey can you play that dead off while we're on the session with us right now just i don't want to participate, but it's okay.

20:01It's fine. But that's huge. And to your point, like, and, and then at the same time, now you're also being able to fund those savings buckets almost fully. You got a couple that are still stragglers almost fully every month. Yeah. Yeah. And those memories that you're making with your family, I mean, you know, this that's it's priceless. And to do that. And, you know, our daughters play travel volleyball and my son usually comes every single time. And And if he doesn't, she's really upset if he has like a game or something because we make them little mini family vacations. So it could be something that tears our family apart or whatever, or we can turn it into something really special.

20:38And just spending that time together in that little hotel room, girl, you get real close. But those car rides, those are just something that you're not going to get back because they are leaving soon. It's so sad, you know, just because you want to cherish that last, those last little bits. So I want to ask this question. how how has your communication maybe changed or your relationship changed about money and budgeting and all that kind of stuff i love that question i love that question yeah we i think that through the last handful of years as finances have just slipped through our fingers again you know we can look back maybe five years ago we had our hands wrapped around it a little bit more.

21:21But in the last few years, as it slipped through our fingers, I think there's just been an increasing tension when we talk about finances. And it's because we're both living with a fairly large amount of tight in our chest about our money, because we don't know where it's going. We know that we're not, you know, we have, we had and still have debt to deal with. And it's not because we buy super bougie cars or we drive pretty old, like we drive cars into the ground. And, you know, but for us, it was like, oh my goodness, the seal on that sliding glass door. And we're in Minnesota, it's$7 ,000. We're going to have to put that on a card.

22:01We don't have a choice. We have to replace that sliding glass door, you know, and there that debt sits. But anyway, so as some debt had mounted and now we paid off a bunch, we still have a couple of things. We had a medical thing happen with our daughter that's sitting in front of us, but going to get paid off. But the tension just kept growing of, you know, Kevin would often say when I tell him I want to take a trip, where do you think that's going to come from? And I'd say, I don't know, but we'll figure it out. And that was the conversation. And we would, but it didn't feel good. We found it.

22:36We figured it out, but it didn't feel good. And we didn't know exactly what it meant for the future. And so for our relationship at this point, I just think there's like we were we're flowing now. We know what we're doing. We're in full unity on how we spend our money, how we don't spend our money. And we're both excited about the future where we're at right now and what's to come. And so the tension has lifted and our communication is light and there's excitement and joy and a plan. And we don't feel that tight yuck inside about finances anymore. And not because it looks perfect. Cause again, we still have debt and I still would like to bring in a little bit more in terms of income, but those things, there's order and there's peace.

23:24And to your point, the thing I thought is the accounts are how, you know, where the money's coming from friend, Kevin. No, I'm just kidding. I, that was before, but now he knows, you know, and both of you can see it. And it's not like something to dispute. It's like, oh no, we have $5 ,000 in our vacation fund. That's how we're going to buy the tickets. Like, ta-da, all done. Yeah. Yes, exactly. Well, I think it's important too. Some people may want to come into coaching and be like, I want to be able to pay off all my debt in the six months. And sometimes you can't based on the situation, like you said, we're not going out and buying expensive purses here.

23:56This was debt that was necessary, like windows. That's kind of important. You need glass in your house to protect your home, right? So there are things that kind of may have racked up. And I mean, I had clients, they were living in a hotel for months because they had water leak and it was a mess. And so all of that debt was occurring while they were on coaching and new things and piping and all that. And yeah, it wasn't the best situation. And we always say, listen, when you sign up for coaching, something's going to happen. We're just telling you right now, just be prepared. It's going to happen because the enemy's trying to come tear you down.

24:27But we're going to figure it out and we're going to make it work. And from this point on, after you graduate coaching, you're going to have a plan. You're going to know exactly how to pay it off because you're going to be very purposeful with your money, not just, like you said, shooting from the hip. Yeah. Okay. So last question, you know, what would you tell somebody who's maybe where you were, although you, you, you Googled budget coaches. So you were, you were maybe a little further, but maybe a month before that, what would you tell somebody that that's in that position feeling that kind of way?